Even though he seems to be working like some sort of outsourced publicity engine for JLS, Gordon seems to struggle to really treat 'two idiots spend money they don't really have' as the lead story he's made it:
JOBLESS figures may be soaring for under-25s all over the UK.
But boyband JLS are not fearing the dole queue or watching the pennies - judging by their astonishing £6,612.50 blowout on Thursday night.
If you set aside the decision to run the story at all, Gordon actually makes quite a decent fist of trying to run the story in a way that Simon Cowell would have wanted - "ooooo! look! money!" - while remembering that, actually, it just makes them look like a pair of idiots who are going to really regret doing that in a couple of years:
Call me old-fashioned, but they should be investing it in bricks and mortar.
That's what Limahl from Eighties pop phenomenon Kajagoogoo would tell them, from his dressing room at Butlins in Minehead...
But ultimately, running the story - with a photo of the receipt - only gives the story the publicity it doesn't deserve. Not until the 'where are they now' follow-up in six years when it gets referenced in the 'then' part of the sentence ending "... now working in a shoe-shop."
Elsewhere, Lily Allen has been chiding Smart:
The singer has been on Twitter pointing out that SAM COOPER is not a painter and decorator, as I revealed last week - he is in fact a builder.
Why would you be so proud at having "revealed" something that, erm, wasn't true, Gordon? (Besides the obvious, that it's what you do for a living, I mean?).