Woot-ton: Andre nother thing...

Katie Price - a woman whose career seems to be based entirely on charging people for a look up her shirt - is going to "ruin" Peter Andre out of some sort of need for revenge.

Ruining Peter Andre? Isn't that a bit like trying to force a Mini Metro off the road? You could put in the effort, but frankly it's going to topple over under its own steam before too long.

This is all revealed in a big interview with the News Of The World, which Dan Wootton has been allowed to help out with, which is nice. James Deesborough was also on hand, too. Somewhat oddly, despite this double-handed interview team, the report still falls back to having to quote things that Jordan supposedly told "a pal" and "a source close to Jordan". Two of the finest typists the News of the World have to offer nab an exclusive interview, and still have to pad it out with unsubstantiated tattle? No wonder Little Murdoch and his Poppa worried about the bottom line at the paper.

Still, the twin strikers do manage to get this out of the woman:

FURIOUS Jordan last night revealed the bitter truth that made her life with Peter Andre hell, admitting: "I lived a lie for five years."

So, Jordan's brilliant plan for bringing down Andre is to, erm, tell everyone that the churning programmes she's been knocking out for ITV for the last half-decade have just been full of old bollocks she's been feeding them. Thank god she doesn't have to plot her own books.