Sugababes: Made-up futures of the rest of the band

Good god, the papers are struggling to find anything to say about the X Factor this morning. The Sunday Mirror is reduced to running a story claiming Simon Cowell is eating a lot of Angel Delight.

The People has something which sounds more interesting, and is only weakened by being almost certainly totally made-up:

Former Sugababes KEISHA BUCHANAN and SIOBHAN DONAGHY are set to shock The X Factor judges - by teaming up with the show's reject RACHEL ADEDEJI to form a new girlband.

I can reveal the stars, who were two of the original members of the charttopping band, believe Rachel, 17, is the perfect third member to rival the current Sugababes line-up.

Really, Katie Hind? Oh, yes, you have a source, anonymous as a white cat that doesn't really exist in a snowstorm:

"They'll have to wait a bit because Rachel is signed up to X Factor duties for a few months but after that she will be a free agent."

That's convenient - so, nothing will happen until everyone's forgotten the story. It's like predicting that the Mercury will crash into Mars in 2048 - sure, it's made up, but it's not like anyone will be able to call you on it, right?