Gordon in the morning: We all live in the space-age

You'd have thought that George Michael would be getting the best possible care, but perhaps not, if we're to believe Gordon:

Space-age kit protects star

Space-age? What, they've lobbed him in equipment from the late 1950s?

It turns out he means "modern".

Justwait until Gordon sees TV dinners - crazy times, all on one plastic tray.

In other news, Chris Martin has been doing the aw-shucks-lil'ol-me routine again:

Chris said: "I'd just be terrible [as a solo artist]. I don't think I could even get a gig in Butlins — and I've been to Butlins. I think me and my keyboard would be outside Woolworths most days, getting shouted at."

Woolworths? When did you last do any shopping, Chris?

The terrible thing is, Chris says this hoping we'll all look at the new Coldplay album and go "don't be silly", but instead most people whose ears function will be thinking "Woolworths? You'd be lucky not to be forced round the back of a Bejam."