Gordon in the morning: Commercial break

A man who makes crisp adverts has made a crisp advert, reports Gordon Smart.

Gordon in the morning: Fill in his blanks

Clearly, running with a long lens snap of Gary Lineker in his swimshorts and the headline on an Agyness Deyn story shows that Gordon is tired right now.

In their natural Agytat

So very, very tired.

So perhaps it's not surprising that Gordon is asking for help from his readers to slap a name on Deyn's friends:

But how to refer to the herd of TV folk, models, designers and pop stars? Readers, it’s up to you. Email biz@the-sun.co.uk with your ideas.

If you'd like to join in, you'd probably need to know who's in that herd:

Look carefully at the wee beasties in this street scene and you can spot a PIXIE GELDOF, a NICK GRIMSHAW, the Ag and a HENRY HOLLAND at play. There’s even a lesser-spotted REMI NICOLE lurking in the background.

Yes, he did just call Agyness "the Ag". So very, very tired.

I think Gordon might have overlooked that there's already a term which covers this group of people with little talent and no philosophy: "members of the public".

Elsewhere, Gordon runs a photo of Chris Martin at Disneyland under the headline:

Speed of sound, Chris?

Which makes no sense, as the picture is of him standing up and there's no reference to speed, or movement, or even riding, in the story underneath.

Gordon does point out what a good man he is:

Rock ’n’ roll stars are taking some time off too. CHRIS MARTIN has been treating his two nippers, APPLE and MOSES, to the ultimate childhood trip in Disneyland, LA. The COLDPLAY frontman hates his kids having their picture taken, so I’ve left them off the page.

How generous of Gordon. You wonder why Martin and Paltrow's kids get this treatment when everyone elses' are considered fair game - would it be too cynical to bet on there being some sort of letter on headed notepaper from a professional warning papers to lay off Apple and Moses on pain of privacy complaints to the PCC?

Still, it does mean that Gordon has run a photo of a man standing, apparently on his own, in a queue this morning. Quite a scoop.