Radio 1: Still a country for old men

The Guardian has a fairly in-depth interview with Radio 1 controller Ben Cooper this morning, with a couple of interesting headlines.

The first is that Cooper wants Radio 1 to become "the Netflix of music radio":

“I want Radio 1 to be the Netflix of music radio,” he says, trundling out the catchy soundbite to back his latest plan: taking a leaf out of the hugely successful US streaming service’s book by making programmes available on demand.

But... the programmes already are available on demand, aren't they?

Turns out these are different programmes:

He is starting out with 25 hours of on-demand “phone-first” content, such as a weekly “Top 10 most-played tracks of the week” programme, but intends to seriously ramp up the hours next year. “In this job, you’ve got to keep across what young audiences are doing. They want content on whatever device they are using, increasingly the phone, when they want it, and that is the key for us to stay relevant and stay young.”

There's a few problems with this - if people aren't listening to Radio 1, why would they give a raspberry tuppence about listening to a programme which plays the 'most played' tracks? "Hey kids, those programmes you're ignoring? Want to listen to the sort of music they're playing that isn't encouraging you to listen to them?"

More importantly, if you were looking for a Netflix for music radio, you might think that's a space that Spotify are already in.

And Radio 1 as Netflix would only work if Netflix concerned itself solely with, say, romcoms and slasher flicks. If you're looking for something akin to Netflix, you'd need something that covers a range of styles and genres. Something like, ooh, iPlayer Radio.

To be fair, though, Cooper has had some degree of success at extending Radio 1 as a brand beyond radio - a large swathe of its audience never tune in on DAB or FM. On YouTube, Radio 1 is thriving, or at least doing as well as Zoella.

Then there's the Grimshaw question:

Meanwhile, shouldn’t he be more worried about Nick Grimshaw? Earlier this year, the station’s breakfast show audience reached its lowest level in more than 13 years. Grimshaw, who took over the coveted gig from Chris Moyles, is about to become older than the station’s average listener. After four years of trying, is his use-by date looming?

“I’m not operating Logan’s Run,” quips Cooper, referring to the 1976 sci-fi film where people get systematically vaporised when they turn 30. “Grimmy was asked to do a job and it was a difficult job. Chris’s job was to build the biggest audience he could, the most successful breakfast show Radio 1 ever had. The BBC Trust asked me to get Radio 1 younger so I brought in Nick to do that. Grimmy has come in and he is the No 1 youth presenter in the UK. He is knocking it out of the ballpark when it comes to connecting with young audiences on a daily basis.”

Is he the "number one youth presenter in the UK", though? If he is, why has he settled so comfortably into the X Factor Home for The Formerly Influential?

But then, the 46 year-old Cooper isn't going to willingly suggest the route to a younger audience is through a perpetually younger team, is he?

6Music nears 2 million

There's a new set of Rajar radio audience figures this morning, and they're lovely for 6Music. A weekly audience nudging two million, and - says MediaGuardian:

Laverne, the station’s mid-morning DJ, presented its most popular show with 868,000 listeners.

In a sign of the changing way people are listening to the radio, a record 27% of listening for 6 Music was online or via smartphone and tablet apps, the most of any station and more than four times the industry average of 6.4%.
[...]
A number of its presenters all had record audiences in the last quarter, including Shaun Keaveny’s breakfast show, Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie’s afternoon programme, Marc Riley, Huey Morgan and Mary Anne Hobbs.

Elsewhere, the Nick Grimshaw figures have been spun so much it's hard to tell if either nobody or everybody is listening; Ben Cooper has made a stab at putting a candle on some lukewarm Radio 1 figures:

Cooper, who also oversees digital sibling station 1Xtra, said Radio 1 was “leading the industry in becoming a multiplatform youth brand”, including a YouTube channel with more than 1.6 million subscribers and plans for a Radio 1 channel on the BBC’s iPlayer.

Cooper said the Rajar figures “only tell part of the story. I’m very pleased that in the traditionally difficult summer quarter, the Radio 1 Breakfast Show has 240,000 new listeners in the year."

If you're pointing to your YouTube subscribers as a metric on the day actual listening figures come out, it's pretty clear you're disappointed by your listening figures.

But at least Cooper wasn't reduced to mentioning the number of retweets Zane Lowe gets. That's when you know you're nearing the endgame.

Rajars: two key moments

Two key things from the latest round of Rajar audience figures.

First, Chris Evans is now pulling the largest-ever radio audience (this century, at least), with 9.91 million. (This isn't at the expense of Grimshaw, either, as the Radio 1 breakfast show has started to grow an audience, too).

Second: 6Music now has more listeners than Radio 3. Not bad for a network that was supposed to be nothing more than a trivia question by now.

Rajars: Grimshaw climbs

The latest audience figures, out this morning, show that Nick Grimshaw's Radio One breakfast audience is growing, and closing the gap with the position he inherited. MediaGuardian:

The 29-year-old added 709,000 listeners for a total average weekly audience of 6.3 million during the final quarter of last year, a 12.6% rise over the previous period, according to the latest official Rajar figures published on Thursday.

However, Grimshaw is still below the average weekly audience for his first three months on the Radio 1 breakfast show and 400,000 listeners off Moyles's last quarterly audience figure of 6.7 million.

"Congratulations, buddy, although you're still getting fewer listeners than the guy who had to leave Radio One because his audience was distorting the figures and profile for the station as a whole. If you can close that gap, we can start having a pop at you for clearly being too mainstream and pulling an audience outside the target for the network."

Curiously, Grimshaw's growth isn't at the expense of his nearest rival - Chris Evans also added half a million listeners.

6Music is within a nudge of two million listeners across the week, which isn't bad for a station which Mark Thompson wanted to have humanely destroyed.

(They never drag him to Parliament to ask about that, do they? Surely 'writing off the costs involved in establishing a radio station and building its audience' would have been just as expensive as the Digital Media Initiative? Wasn't the original decision, and the need to reverse it, an equally terrible set of events?)

When is a Mandela joke not a Mandela joke? Stop asking and just say you're sorry

Simon Amstell was on Radio One yesterday morning, and made a joke at the network's expense:

Amstell said: "What is going on? We're next to 1Xtra, it's so white in here. Mandela would not approve of the situation at the BBC."

When Nick Grimshaw asked why, the guest replied: "Look at all these people in here." Grimshaw answered: "There's a lot of people."

The comedian then said: "Yeah, but look at the segregation that's happened."

He then laughed when the producer of the Breakfast Show, Matt Fincham, said: "I don't think that's the right thing to be saying right now."

Amstell added: "Well, someone had to say it. Mandela would say it if he was here."

Apparently, this silly joke about how the BBC created a station for black music was offensive, somehow, so Amstell has been made to apologise:

"It may have been unclear this morning, as things often are but what came out of this mouth today was silly. Apologies to everyone involved."

Gordon in the morning: Grimshaw's not having it

Apparently there's something controversial about Nick Grimshaw flicking through his show's playlist and deciding who should and shouldn't play Glastonbury:

The Radio 1 DJ said: “I don’t think One Direction should play Glastonbury.
"I think if they’re pop stars but incredible artists then they should play there. I don’t think One Direction’s music is historically the kind of stuff that’s supported at Glastonbury."

Okay, it's an interesting concept - Glastonbury can only ever play the type of music it has played in the past, which would imply Marc Bolan should be the only act allowed to headline.

But it's hardly an astonishing claim, is it? Frankly, if Grimshaw had been calling for One Direction to be added to the Pyramid stage, that would have been noteworthy.

Rajars: Grim figures

The new bunch of Rajar figures out today are showing there's been a drop in the Radio One breakfast show audience.

That, presumably, the network was expecting with the departure of Chris Moyles. The size of the drop, though, might come as something of a shock - a million have gone elsewhere.

In effect, the audience has reverted back to where it was before Moyles took over, as MediaGuardian explains:

The 28-year-old presenter, who took over from Moyles last September, shipped 900,000 listeners compared to the final three months of 2012 and was nearly a million down on Moyles' last quarterly audience of 6.7 million.

It is the lowest audience for the Radio 1 breakfast show since it was presented by Sara Cox in 2003. Cox had 5.5 million listeners in her last three months in the job before she was replaced by Moyles, who fashioned himself as the "saviour of Radio 1".

Radio One are making noises about how their focus is on the demographic, not the absolute numbers. Which is true - they're under orders to make their audience younger, and presumably this helps - but it still can't feel great to lose so many, so quickly.

Gordon in the morning: Robbie Williams is not happy

1990s pop star Robbie Williams - check your grandma's Wikipedia edits if you don't recognise the name - has finally joined Status Quo and Cliff Richard in the day room to moan about the young people at Radio One:

He branded the Breakfast Show host a “b******” for not playing his tracks – because the singer’s too old.

During his set at London’s Grosvenor House, Robbie said: “I did the Brits and started singing, ‘Hey-ho, here we go’ to a bunch of industry people and they were all just like, ‘F*** off, you’re fat and you’re old. And Radio 1 don’t play you no more – you’re fat and you’re old’.”
He then looked at Nick and said: “Isn’t that right Nick, you b******?”

It would seem his beef would be more with his peers rather than Radio One itself, but... oh, hang on, there's more:

After the singer performed Candy, and filmed himself on a punter’s phone, he returned to ribbing Grimmy, saying: “That’s Candy. How four-year-old do you want it, Radio 1?”

Yes, nothing makes your argument like pointing out you're an old man singing a nursery rhyme.

Leaning on his microphone stand eyeballing the DJ, he then popped a piece of chewing gum in his mouth and said: “Those aren’t drugs by the way. Nah, Radio 1’s not something that keeps me up at night, not at all.'

That doesn't make any sense.

He even tried a Yewtree joke:

Rob said: “I came here and looked around and thought, ‘I’m the only person I recognise here tonight’. It’s like looking at the cast of Operation Yewtree 2014. Ooh – too soon, too soon?”

Why would being too old to recognise anyone at a Radio Awards mean that everyone there would be arrested for sexually abusing children next year? It's not "too soon", it's just meaningless. You could do the Yewtree joke without the lead in; or you could use the lead-in of "I don't recognise anyone here" to do a "I guess that's the risk you take when your radio event clashes with the Yewtree staff party" or "presumably the old guard like to get an early night in case Yewtree wakes them up at four in the morning".

Robbie Williams is 83.

Gordon in the morning: Hungover air

Given the stink coming off one of their past names, there's something almost wholesome about the idea of a Radio One dj tumbling out a club three hours before the breakfast show.

Like no Breakfast Show ever

I'm not entirely sure that there's ever before been a point where 'BBC invite pitches to supply beds and jingles for Radio One programme' has ever constituted a general-interest news story before. Today it has, though. Mainly because nobody is going to have to find a rhyme for "Grimshaw":

In a document sent to music firms, the station said it was looking to commission a new theme different to previous shows.

It said the theme must "sound slickly produced and original" and feature "live instrumentation and an identifying motif (logo)".

The Radio 1 breakfast show with Nick Grimshaw begins on 24 September.

"The new breakfast show will sound young, exciting, big and confident," the document goes on.

"It needs to stand out and not sound like any previous BBC Radio 1 breakfast shows. Please steer clear of sung jingles and variants of breakfast themes and identities past and present."

Excuse me, I've got a thirty page document I have to remove all references to "Arnold the dog - but this time with lasers" from.

They call me MISTER Grimshaw

When I heard that they were bringing one of the Radio One Specialist music show presenters in for breakfast, I was surprised. A little thrilled. Rob Da Bank? Annie Mac? Mike Davies?

Oh. Nick Grimshaw.

It's not quite the same as the last time they catapulted a presenter from the 10pm to Midnight slot into breakfast - Mark and Lard had been offering Tindersticks and Simon Armitage at night, while Nick Grimshaw's last late night slot offered Kelly Osbourne and one of the Scissor Sisters.

It's one of those choices which seem radical until you think about it for a half-second; Grimshaw seems much more suited to the Rice Krispies end of the day than he ever did after dark - indeed, had Moyles gone when he should have, around 2008, you could imagine Colin Murray being given the job to pretty much the same sort of response.

A safe pair of ears, a fair promotion. Greg James, though, must be wondering what happened.

Gordon in the morning: Fill in his blanks

Clearly, running with a long lens snap of Gary Lineker in his swimshorts and the headline on an Agyness Deyn story shows that Gordon is tired right now.

In their natural Agytat

So very, very tired.

So perhaps it's not surprising that Gordon is asking for help from his readers to slap a name on Deyn's friends:

But how to refer to the herd of TV folk, models, designers and pop stars? Readers, it’s up to you. Email biz@the-sun.co.uk with your ideas.

If you'd like to join in, you'd probably need to know who's in that herd:

Look carefully at the wee beasties in this street scene and you can spot a PIXIE GELDOF, a NICK GRIMSHAW, the Ag and a HENRY HOLLAND at play. There’s even a lesser-spotted REMI NICOLE lurking in the background.

Yes, he did just call Agyness "the Ag". So very, very tired.

I think Gordon might have overlooked that there's already a term which covers this group of people with little talent and no philosophy: "members of the public".

Elsewhere, Gordon runs a photo of Chris Martin at Disneyland under the headline:

Speed of sound, Chris?

Which makes no sense, as the picture is of him standing up and there's no reference to speed, or movement, or even riding, in the story underneath.

Gordon does point out what a good man he is:

Rock ’n’ roll stars are taking some time off too. CHRIS MARTIN has been treating his two nippers, APPLE and MOSES, to the ultimate childhood trip in Disneyland, LA. The COLDPLAY frontman hates his kids having their picture taken, so I’ve left them off the page.

How generous of Gordon. You wonder why Martin and Paltrow's kids get this treatment when everyone elses' are considered fair game - would it be too cynical to bet on there being some sort of letter on headed notepaper from a professional warning papers to lay off Apple and Moses on pain of privacy complaints to the PCC?

Still, it does mean that Gordon has run a photo of a man standing, apparently on his own, in a queue this morning. Quite a scoop.

Move on, Moyles

Ofcom has just published a page with advice on how to complain about broadcasting. They've illustrated it with a photo of Chris Moyles.

The regulator was also busy today posting a bumper edition of its complaints bulletin, which - once past objecting to a massive pile of sponsorship break bumpers - gets down to considering Moyles' birthday song for Will Young:

He then imitated Will Young by singing alternative versions of two of the singer’s well known singles: ‘Evergreen’ and ‘Leave Right Now’. During the imitation the presenter adopted an effeminate and high pitched voice.

When singing his alternative version of ‘Evergreen’, Chris Moyles broadcast the lyrics: “It’s my birthday, gonna wear my new dress tonight. And I smell nice. I’ve had a shower and I’ve shaved my legs. Going out later, might go to Nob-oooh for dinner.”

During the alternative version of ‘Leave Right Now’, Chris Moyles broadcast the lyrics: “Oooh Will Young here, mmmmh. I’m here, it’s Will’s birthday and as the years go by I get more very gay. When you saw me years ago you didn’t know, but now I’m the gayest fella you probably know. mmm I like to wear a silly hat, I get camper by the hour, oh would you look at the muck in here. I’m Will Young and I’m gay.”

The BBC - with a straight face - tried to insist that this wasn't a joke at the expense of Young's sexuality.

The Corporation did allow that, you know, maybe the comments were "unacceptable". Although this seems a bit confusing: if the 'jokes' weren't about his sexuality, what does the BBC think was unacceptable about them?

Ofcom decided this humour was not just unacceptable, but offensive as well; it pointed out this isn't the first time that it's upheld complaints about Chris Moyles.

It's sparked a piece by John Plunkett in MediaGuardian which first lambasts Moyles' humour, before changing tack and suggests that just maybe it's time for Moyles and some of his chums to step down from Radio One regardless of their record:

Moyles, 35, has presented the breakfast show since January 2004 and remains hugely popular with listeners. Jo Whiley, 43, joined Radio 1 in 1993 and has presented the lunchtime show since 1997. And don't even get me started on Westwood. Okay then, he's 51.

There are good DJs. And there are old DJs. And there are good, old DJs. But should they be on Radio 1?

Plunkett suggests its time for a Bannister-style Year Zero. And you'd think he might have a point, were he not suggesting this:

"Radio 1 chiefs are believed to be keen on rising star Reggie Yates," said the Sun. And if he wasn't co-hosting the chart show with Fearne Cotton, 25-year-old Yates might be able to get a word in edgeways.

A younger voice is already on its way, with weekend breakfast host Nick Grimshaw about to fill the weekday evening slot being vacated by Colin Murray - aged 32, if you must know - who is off to BBC Radio 5 Live.

Nick Grimshaw and Reggie Yates? Bloody hell, you'd be better off bringing back Adrian Juste and Steve Wright, wouldn't you?

John Barrowman webcam outrage... zzzzz...

Oh that noise? That's the Daily Mail busily gearing up for another witchhunt. Apparently, during last night's Radio One show The Switch, John Barrowman unzipped his flies in front of the webcam.

Seriously, how do the Mail know this? Do they have work experience kids watching all the BBC's output in a bid to find something supposedly shocking? Or does Paul Dacre spend his Sunday evenings watching The Switch website anyway and so happened to be there when it was unleashed?

Although there are only seven people left in Christendom who haven't already seen John Barrowman's cock, the Mail is keen to be starting something:

Last night, radio listeners heard as Barrowman, a guest who was promoting his new single, responded to goading by presenters.

Grimshaw said: 'You’re famous, we’re told, for getting your willy out in interviews. Is this going to happen today? Should Annie be careful?'

Barrowman asked: 'Is the webcam on?', and when he told it was, responded: 'All right. I’ll get it out for you then, no problem'.

Annie Mac is then heard screaming and shouting 'Oh my God!' as Grimshaw and Barrowman laugh.

Actually, that is pretty disgusting - imagine a webcam which might catch a glimpse of Nick Grimshaw.

So, Daily Mail - this is a man flashing his cock on a webcam, is it?

What's that, Daily Mail? You seem to have got bashful all of a sudden. What actually happened?

The BBC confirmed Barrowman had exposed himself on the programme, but said it was not visible to online viewers.

It also said Mac apologised at the end of the show and that no complaints had been received last night.

So, nobody listening was upset. Nobody - if there was anybody - watching complained. And, erm, Barrowman didn't actually expose himself to the audience.

So how does that opening paragraph on your report make sense?

The BBC was engulfed in another decency row today after one of its highest profile stars exposed himself live on air.

Doctor Who actor John Barrowman revealed himself in a pre-watershed Radio 1 show which was also broadcast online via a webcam.

The BBC received no complaints - which is the weakest definition of 'engulfed' I've ever come across - and Barrowman didn't actually 'expose himself on air'. Yes, the story does stir outrage, but only at the really skewed deceit of Daily Mail journalists.

Dick and gone

That difficult jump to not-kids-TV anymore is still proving difficult for Dick And Dom, who are even as we speak tidying things up at their Radio One desks. They've been axed in the latest round of weekend changes, which sees Nick Grimshaw being promoted to take over breakfasts and Nihal moves to weekend afternoons.

While we're on this: what's with the drip, drip of the new schedule over a series of weeks? Couldn't they have just decided everything in advance and then announced it in one big burst? It's not like there's so much going on the media would have been uncertain how to proceed ("should we lead on Nick Grimshaw's new show, or is Dave Pearce heading off to new pastures the key element?") Are we to expect a new weekday schedule to slowly reveal itself over the next two months?

Noteworthy: while in the last schedule change, the Radio One departees offered positive-sounding quotes to the BBC Press Office, neither Dick nor Dom seemed to be available for comment.