Let's make more Muses

Harvey Goldsmith has got a plea - apparently we need more Muses. As in the band, he doesn't want Pierus to be getting all busy again:

"The only kind of stadium star or arena-plus star act that has come through recently is Muse. That’s it. Both here in Britain and in America. We need more of them.

"We need to have, as I have said time and time again, new promoters with new ideas, building new acts up so they become the new superstars. Without that, within five years’ time, there will not be a business."

Harvey Goldsmith, manager of Jeff Beck, promoter since England last won the world cup, suggesting the problem is old promoters with stale ideas. Whoever would have thought?

And his big idea is to clone an already successful band. "Let's make more of these, as they're already popular" isn't the most obvious way of encouraging "new ideas" in the music industry, is it?

Still, Goldsmith's warning should make all our blood run cold. If there aren't a dozen or so Matt Bellamies wandering about by 2015, there won't be any oversized gigs in inappropriate venues where you can only 'watch' by staring over people's heads at a giant TV screen that is out of sync with when the music reaches you. No more £45-plus gig tickets, plus parking, plus two quid bottles of water because you can't bring your own in. No more tailbacks on motorways as thousands try to cram up a road to a temporary stage in a country house back garden. Do you want to live in such a world, people? Because that's what will happen. Harvey Goldsmith says so.

MIDEM 2008: Goldsmith twigs something's up

It would shatter our hearts, were it not so funny: down in the South of France, Harvey Goldsmith furrows his brow:

“The technology [to protect online music from 'piracy'] is there but savvy kids are saying ‘while they’re all arguing, I can grab this stuff for free’.”

After about a decade, someone in the old-style music industry has finally realised that procrastination has just created a vacuum into which people have rushed.

Sadly, the realisation has come way, way too late; and Goldsmith's conclusion - that it means its time for the music industry to really sort out putting the locks in place - is the exact opposite of what's needed.

[Part of MIDEM 2008]

Goldsmith fails

Harvey Goldsmith's attempts to block a secondary market in Led Zep reunion tickets seems to have failed somewhat; although there's no indication of how many they flogged, Seatwave claims they pocketed an average of £7,425 for second-hand Led Zeppelin passes.

Led Zep eBay mixed messages

Jimmy Page has helped organise a charity auction through eBay designed to raise money for Brazilian street kids. It's a good cause, and a lovely gesture.

Hang on, though... isn't eBay evil? Wasn't it just last month that charming Harvey Goldsmith railed at them:

"I wish eBay would drop dead and die... I have begged them to take [the tickets] off and they have basically told us to fuck off. So I will do everything I possibly can to ruin their lives."

(We're not entirely sure, inter alia, how one ruins the 'lives' of a corporation and makes it drop dead.)

Do you suppose Harvey was aware the key draw of the night would be using eBay for a legit auction?

Led Zep comeback letdown blow-up

Harvey Goldsmith's single-minded pursuit of touts has caused a massive screw-up in the Led Zep ticketing process.

In order to try and stop touts selling tickets on eBay, Goldsmith and his team decided that you'd have to have tickets with names on that matched the credit card that bought them.

In itself, this is over-prescriptive. Want to buy the tickets as a surprise anniversary gift for your parents? Buying them to pay your mate back for the time he stuck your football tickets on his Visa? Got a friend flying in from overseas who only has Discover card, so you bought on their behalf? Kept your credit card in your maiden name but ordered in your married name? Sorry, you're out of luck.

What makes it worse is they forgot to mention this rather important rule in the terms and conditions when the tickets initially went on sale.

Goldsmith, of course, is so besotted with his anti-touting plans he can't see the problem, and defends it on his blog:

I am fully aware that there seems to be concerns about people who became winners in the ballot and then decided to use somebody else’s credit card to pay for the ticket.

However, I am convinced that those who are bleating the loudest seem to be protesting too much for other reasons.

Fans, it turns out, are not complaining but "bleating". Presumably in the same way that Goldsmith is not explaining, but patronising.

He then explains the ballot system again, before explaining:

On this basis we presumed that those that registered wanted to actually see the show. It is painfully obvious that if the ticket is not transferable then the method of obtaining the ticket is not transferable either.

So "painfully obvious", presumably, they didn't bother to mention it in the terms and conditions.

But is it "painfully obvious"? Why would you assume that, if the ticket has your name on it, and you have ID to prove your credentials, it would make any difference who actually paid the cash?

Goldsmith then weighs in to the people who might have a genuine complaint, in the manner of a mediaeval lord insisting the poor should be grateful for having any parsnips, mouldy or not:

I would have thought that if you were a genuine fan and were lucky enough to win you would have been overjoyed at the opportunity and played the game and paid for your tickets as have the vast majority of winners.

But these aren't people who don't want to pay for their tickets, they're people who've paid more than willingly but been frustrated by the sudden change in rules. And how hollow do you have to be to suggest that if you're frustrated at the arcane and shifting ticketing rules, you're not a "genuine fan". Putting up with endless, pointless hoops to get in to a gig has nothing to do with supporting the act or not - unless Goldsmith's cloud of delusion has left him convinced that he's actually one of Led Zep.

Having looked at eBay, StubHub, viagogo and various other touting websites, it has become obvious that a number of you only joined this ballot for commercial gain. It also appears to me that those who have used this for commercial gain are the ones who are protesting the most.

Yes, there probably are people who are trying to make a quick buck, but to try and just smear everyone who got caught out as being on the make is unfair and insulting.

Of course there are a few people who genuinely want to come but may not have had a suitable credit card to pay for them. The answer to those people is very simple; if you are GENUINE you will contact us and give us a justified explanation.

How big of you, milord Goldsmith. The idea that people should have to justify themselves to you in some sort of kangaroo court doesn't strike you as somehow absurd, then?

It takes quite a talent to generate such a bad taste in so many mouths from something that should have been a triumph.

Led Zep fans give Goldsmith grief

The jump-through-hoops rules being slapped on Led Zeppelin tickets by Harvey Goldsmith are having something of a backlash. Although Goldsmith likes to portray himself as on the side of fans, the need to provide identification at the door to freeze out people who've bought their ticket codes off touts has created a hive of pissed-off people.

As one points out to Gigwise, turning people away at the door actually hurts fans who were so desperate to see the band they paid over the odds, rather than touts, who have already banked their cash.

And Goldsmith is singled out for more complaints:

While in a direct letter to Gigwise, Led Zep fan Felix Carassco who has bought a ticket code, said: “I find it a disgrace that Harvey Goldsmith is going after the real fans after he is only selling 10,000 tickets for a 20,000 seater arena. I am sure that the other half will be going to his company and friends and a good few thousand ‘guests’!

“I hope that you can start to suggest that he does something about tacking those selling the codes and not those buying them!”

It's also not clear what he's going to do if everyone who turned up refused to show their ID - would he really send the fans away and make led Zep come back in an empty room?

Adding up the comeback

We're told the extraordinary news that

An estimated 20 million people rushed to register for tickets to see Led Zeppelin

Twenty million? That's quite impressive. And, of course, we can verify this figure, can't we, because there will be twenty million registrations, right?

Um, no:

The concert's website has struggled to cope with demand, and organisers have asked fans to be patient.

So "twenty million" is a figure being used to explain away why the servers can't cope, rather than a fact. Even if there have been twenty million attempts to log on, there'd be no way to ascertain if that really was twenty million people, or one bloke with twenty million attempts.

Twenty million. That would be an astonishing number of people interested in going. One in three of the UK population. Now, admittedly, there will be interest from beyond these shores, but, really: not just twenty million fans, but that number logging on at once?

Meanwhile, Harvey Goldsmith ahs outlined his lottery plans:

Tickets for the show will be allocated by public ballot - a move promoter Harvey Goldsmith hopes will deter touts.

"We just hope and pray that those people who get a ticket in a ballot are just going to act accordingly," he said

Uh... so the idea is that you, um, win a ticket and then "act accordingly" - presumably meaning that when you sell it on to a tout, you organise a lottery system to decide who you'll flog it on to.

Goldsmith also warned fans who turned to internet auction sites like eBay or other unauthorised sources that they would have their tickets cancelled.

"They might have paid the money but they ain't going to get the ticket," he said.

So, steer clear of eBay, then. The message from Goldsmith is: sell your ticket without using a third party who'll reveal your details to someone else. It seems to be suggesting that Goldsmith would rather fans have to try their luck in unregulated markets than have at least an eBay paper trail to give them some degree of consumer protection. It's the same mentality that thinks its better for gangsters to sell heroin than to make it medically available for free to addicts - putting the fine detail of the law above actually thinking what would work best.

Re-led

So, it's on, then: Led Zeppelin have confirmed a one-off reunion - apparently they wanted to get in before Blue stole their thunder.

It's part of a memorial for Ahmet Ertegun; it also provides a platform for Havrey Goldsmith to bang on about ticket touts again. The idea is that this time, touting will be beaten through a lottery system, with Goldsmith promising that "multiple applicants" will, somehow, be weeded out. We're not quite sure how Goldsmith can tell between two people with different names, and one person using different names, but doubtless he'll have a scheme.

Tickets and ticketmatters

We can understand the concerns about people buying third-market tickets for a hitherto-unannounced Led Zep reunion tour, but it's interesting that the most worried man is Harvey Goldsmith:

In a statement, the rock promoter said: "There have been at least four events advertised which I suspect either don't exist or where no tickets are on sale or indeed dates finalised."

Now, is that the words of a man who is merely interested in the poor folk being fleeced, or are the words of a man inadvertently revealing that (a) Led Zeppelin are reuniting; (b) he's promoting the tour and (c) some of the tickets being sold are for actual gigs.

Which takes away some of the surprise and, rather than makes the third market seem unattractive, surely makes it more likely that punters will, well, take a punt on there being some sort of tickets at the end of it?

Meanwhile, the Guardian's money supplement gathered together some of those discontented with Prince's "all £31.21" ticket pricing. In particular, those who paid £235 for tickets to be "in the front ten rows", only to discover Ticketmaster then auctioning off the very front row. And then announcing another set of £250 seats "integrated into the stage".

Some people were understandably pissed off they'd forked out a small fortune for what they thought would be the best seats in the house, only to discover after they'd committed, there were better seats to be had after all. Others, that they'd paid thirty quid only to discover there were rich, braying types "integrated" into the stage.

Get yer tickets for the tout debate

Next week, the Department for Culture, Media and Sport is going to investigate ticket touting. The people who will be giving evidence are as follows:

At 10.30am The Rugby Football Union
The Football Association
The All England Lawn Tennis & Croquet Club

At 11.00am Harvey Goldsmith CBE
Concert Promoters Association
DF Concerts
National Arenas Association

At 11.30am Ticketmaster
The Society of Ticket Agents and Retailers (STAR)
Seetickets

At 12.00noon eBay
viagogo
The Association of Secondary Ticket Agents (ASTA)
Seatwave

At 12.30pm Department for Culture, Media and Sport
Shaun Woodward MP, Parliamentary Under- Secretary of State
Department of Trade and Industry
Rt Hon Margaret Hodge MBE MP, Minister of State for Industry and the Regions
The Office of Fair Trading
John Fingleton, Chief Executive

So, that's an hour and a half of people generally against the idea of tickets being resold, against half an hour of people who might have an opposing viewpoint cobbled together at the end.

Not entirely the most balanced of slates, then; and not many people there representing the people who actually go to concerts.

The terms of reference:

The Culture, Media and Sport Committee announced on 1 May 2007 an inquiry into ticket touting. The Committee is particularly interested in the following issues:

The underlying causes of ticket touting, and its impact on performers, promoters and the public;
Whether or not resale of a ticket, at face value or at a higher value, should be permitted in principle; and whether the acceptability or otherwise of resale depends on the circumstances in which tickets are offered for resale;
The impact of the Internet upon trade in tickets;
Whether or not tickets’ terms and conditions banning transfer and onward sale are fair or enforceable;
The merits of new approaches by ticket agents attempting to prevent transfer of tickets, including wider use of personal ID; and
Whether or not the existing offences of sale by an unauthorised person in a public place of a ticket for a designated football match, or for events at the London 2012 Games, should be extended to cover other sporting or cultural events.

While this sounds superficially balanced, the sense that this is more 'selling tickets on is a bad thing' than a totally open-minded approach - after all, planning to consider the merits of Glastonbury-style ID controls would suggest an expectation of a decision that controls are required.

Mumba drags Goldsmith down

Can anyone think of the problem in building a programme around a slightly charmless man known, if at all, for being backstage, and a bunch of celebrities who the public have tired off? Backstage bloke... dumper fodder... anyone?

Harvey Goldsmith's attempts to restart Samantha Mumba's career managed to dump Channel 4 into last place out of the five main networks with just four per cent of the audience.

Maybe they can get Sir John Harvey-Jones in to try and resurrect Goldsmith's fledgling enterprise.