Tom Araya tells Fucking Slayer Gang to fuck off

You know what? When you're bullying the wife of the leader of the band you claim to be supporting, you might have lost your way a little:

"Hi. This is Tom Araya, and I'd like to talk to you about something that has recently spiraled out of control.

"I hate to blame an entire group for the actions of a few.

"There is a group on Facebook that associate themselves with my band, SLAYER, Claiming to be fans, they made up a sign that they use to represent themselves as SLAYER fans. They call themselves Fucking Slayer Gang, [or] FSG. They came into existence about eight months ago and had approached my wife, Sandra, under the guise of a family asking for support and if she would ask me if I would also show support by throwing the SLAYER hand sign that they had come up with.

"After a few months had passed, my wife did not like how this group was managing their Facebook page and decided it was best to leave their group and all other groups she was part of. The conduct that this group was showing, and has shown, is distasteful, rude and disrespectful to all SLAYER and metal fans.

"Now, I [flashed] this sign [for a photo] in support for my wife, who later told me that it was not a good idea to associate with this group or sign, that they were cyberbullies and that they would attack anyone who questioned their motives, and have even gone as far as attacking my wife publicly on SLAYER fan pages and metal fan pages.

"It has come to our attention that they have taken liberties with the photo of myself and my wife [throwing] the so-called 'SLAYER sign' by posting these pictures and claiming our support. Well, I'm here to say that it's not true. We do not support this gang or such behavior.

"The metal community is a growing community of loyal fans, not only to the bands that they support, but to each other.

"Thank you."

This is Tom from Slayer saying that you're overstepping a line. It's a bit like the Krays suggesting you tone down the violence,

Slayer rescue a kitten

You heard. Slayer rescued a kitten:

The band's publicist Heidi Robinson-Fitzgerald explained: "Last night Kerry [King] and some of the crew went to dinner at Kerry's favourite steak house in Indy, St. Elmo's Steak House.

"Afterwards, the assistant tour manager, Jess [Cortese] saw a homeless man on the street who offered up this little kitten for a dollar. The kitten apparently was freezing so Jess took it, slept with her in her bunk on the bus and went to the venue with her today, hanging out.

"One of the runners knew someone who wanted a kitten, so the little guy now has a new home where he or she currently is."

The part where this story is a little less heartwarming is what happened to the homeless person, who also, presumably, would have been freezing.

Liking Slayer a bit like hate

There was panic and horror in Commack when hate-filled graffiti appeared near a Little League pitch.

Everyone relaxed a bit when they realised that the graffiti just said Slayer.

I think the pentangle probably threw them a bit.

Metalobit: Jeff Hanneman

Jeff Hanneman, one of the founders of Slayer, has died.

CBC has gathered a collection of fellow rockers reactions.

Interestingly, most were indistinguishable from the sort of tribute you'd see if Jeff from the Sandwich Shop died:

Just heard the sad news about Jeff Hanneman of Slayer.My condolences to his family,the band and all his friends and fans..RIP

— Nikki Sixx (@NikkiSixx) May 3, 2013

Our condolence to the entire @slayer family #RIPJeff RT @paradisecity Slayer Guitarist Jeff Hanneman Dead at 49 paradisecity.com/post/51830928d… #gnr

— Guns N' Roses (@gunsnroses) May 3, 2013

Ryan Adams "tribute" was, if you look closely, factually correct without being emotionally involved:

RIP Jeff HannemanSad day for #Slayer fans

— Ryan Adams (@TheRyanAdams) May 2, 2013

Dave Mustaine was quite poetic:

Tonight one less star will be shining and sadly, the stage got just a little bit darker. Jeff Hanneman 1964-2013.

— Dave Mustaine (@DaveMustaine) May 3, 2013

The New York Times obituary was a little more clear-eyed:

Mr. Hanneman wrote about serial killers and terrorists, rapists and dead women. The release of the band’s albums was sometimes delayed by record labels’ concern about graphic lyrics and cover art.

Mr. Hanneman wrote perhaps the band’s best-known song, “Angel of Death,” from Slayer’s breakthrough 1986 album, “Reign in Blood,” produced by Rick Rubin. The song describes torturous experimental surgeries performed by the Nazi physician Joseph Mengele at the Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Some critics have accused the band members of being Nazis and racists; Mr. Hanneman said Slayer was simply interested in history and evil.

The LA Times made Hanneman fight for space with John Williamson. (Interesting to note that Williamson's clothing-and-sex-optional 1970s resort probably generated more genuine moral panic than Slayer ever managed, despite trying harder.) But as the LA Times obituary stressed, boy, did Slayer want to shock:

"We write the songs that we do because that's what we like," Hanneman told Hilburn. "But they are just stories — not things we actually do or recommend anyone else go out and do. Take the song 'Piece by Piece,' about chopping up somebody. To us, it's like a horror movie. It's fun because [the songs and movies] shock you. The kids get into it on the same level we do. They know it is just a story and just fun."

The Washington Post couldn't help noticing it's hard to mourn someone obsessed with death:

Fans took to social media to declare “#HellAwaits“ — referring to the band’s 1985 album “Hell Awaits” — in 140-character eulogies that somehow managed to feel warmhearted. On the excellent metal blog Bazillion Points, Hanneman was fondly remembered as “grumpy, withdrawn, and antisocial,” a guy who once spent 30 delighted minutes “watching people trip over a sidewalk pothole on the streets of Manhattan.”

These aren’t the usual warm fuzzies that come pouring out when we lose a trailblazing artist, but the disorienting nature of the discussion feels true to Slayer’s gift for scrambling our senses. Hanneman’s band will most likely be remembered for its sensational lyrics about violence, mortality and the blood encrusted pits of h-e-double-hockey-sticks, but the true legacy of Slayer’s frenetic music is its ability to approximate the confusion of danger — that blurry, breathtaking space between life and death.

Classic Rock magazine dug into its archive to report on the spider bite which, ultimately, would be responsible for Hanneman's death:

In 2011 Hanneman told Classic Rock how he was bitten by a spider in his hot tub. “I didn’t even feel it – but an hour later I knew I was ill. I could see the flesh corrupting. I got to the emergency room and thank God the nurse knew straight away what it was.

“At that point I was an hour away from death. Unbelievably the doctor was a Slayer fan. He said: ‘First I am going to save your life. Then I am going to save your arm. Then I am going to save your career.’”

He underwent a series of skin grafts and had continued to receive physiotherapy.

Just as a sidenote, with so much competition for attention for the metal fan, it's surprising that both Kerrang and Metal Hammer's websites did little beyond a quick round-up of posts from Twitter and a short obituary. It's as if you'd gone to the Spectator site after Thatcher died and just got a brief newsline written by an intern.

The last word, fittingly, to the official Slayer site:

Our Brother
Jeff Hanneman,
May He Rest In Peace
(1964 - 2013)

Slayer, drummer part ways

I sort-of have a vague but distant family interest in who drums for Slayer, so am interested to hear that the tiny stool behind the big kit is vacant again.

Dave Lombardo has discovered that - according to his Facebook page - the band were being diddled:

"As of the end of the business day on February 14th, I was notified that I would not be drumming for the tour in Australia. I'm saddened, and to be honest I am shocked by the situation.

"Last year, I discovered 90% of Slayer's tour income was being deducted as expenses including the professional fees paid to management, costing the band millions of dollars and leaving 10% or less to split amongst the four of us.

"Last Monday, I sat down with Kerry and Tom to rehearse for Australia and to propose a new business model that I felt was the best way forward for Slayer to confidently protect itself so we could do what we do best...play for the fans. Kerry made it clear he wasn’t interested in making changes and said if I wanted to argue the point, he would find another drummer. On Thursday, I arrived at rehearsals at 1 pm as scheduled, but Kerry did not show. Rather, at 6:24 pm I received an email from the lawyers saying I was being replaced for the Australian dates."

This is the second time Lombardo has left Slayer. Last time it was about not earning enough, too.

Slayer: Apparently writing lyrics is a quick process

Kerry King is writing some new words for a Slayer record. Surprisingly, he's not blocking out much time in his diary:

"If I get off my ass and start writing again on the road — since we've been in Europe, I keep trying to work on lyric ideas, maybe some leads, and fixing songs that didn't work correctly — it should be a real quick process."

Really? Thinking up rhymes for "blood", "grave", "misery" and "antichrist" is such a speedy process? The creation of yet another song about not showing mercy is something which one can do while waiting for a PopTart to cook? Whoever would have guessed?

It's all yours, Tom Araya

In the week of the Kerrang Awards, it's hard to imagine of a greater honour that could be presented to a noisy-music-maker, but Chile have come up with a nice gift for Slayer's Tom Araya.

This:

Okay, not quite that, but he has been given the freedom of Vina Del Mar in Chile.

Araya was born there, and lived there until his family moved to the US when he was five years old. You'll note that this is roughly the length of time Ringo lived in his first home - clearly Chileans feel those early years are more significant than Liverpool City Council does.

Tom was quite sweet about the honour:

"I think it's awesome," said Araya during a press conference. "I'm kind of speechless; I don't what to say. They're probably gonna change the locks when they give me the key!

"You see other people receive rewards like that, but it's usually people of political status or someone that's really done something for the community or done something important," he added. "All I can say is thank you."

There is, of course, a risk that having said that Slayer "isn't important" Tom will have offended Slayer fans around the world.

[Vina Del Mar photo by Bracani...Antonio under CC-BY-NC-SA licence]

Slayer are awe-wait for it-some

Metal Exiles have recently done a fawnfest with Slayer's Kerry King, lobbing the sort of 'why are you so great' softballs that, over the years, leads to a band thinking in... well, this way:

"Every year we go on, and everything we accomplish is awesome to us, but it's not something you can sit at home and think about. We're very grateful to be where we are."

Imagining Slayer playing back the thirty-thousandth iteration of the same song and going "wooo - that is awesome" puts me in mind of that bit in The Simpsons where Ned listens to his inner child and just hears a thumbs-up.

Slayer splits - Whatever shall we do without them?

Oh, no: popular culture is about to implode. Clothing will be rent. Slayer's Tom Araya has been hinting the band might call it a day:

"Let's put it this way, this is the final record of our commitment with Rick Rubin. When we first signed a deal with him back in 1986, we never sat down and said, 'How long do you guys want to keep this together?'. We signed the deal and we've just been doing records since.

We're working on new ideas now just so that people can have a taste of what's coming. Kerry and Jeff are putting together ideas, so what the end result of this next two-and-a-half months is, I don't know. Once we've put together new material, we can get together and discuss our future plans."

We love the idea that there's a process involved in "putting together ideas" to make a Slayer record, like they're going to be gathered round a whiteboard with the words 'ballet?' 'string quartet' and 'RAWK' written on, weighing the pros and cons.

It seems age is just catching up with them:

"Seeing a 50-year-old man headbanging on stage would make me cringe. If I was watching that, I'd think, 'Dude, you're a little too old for that, aren't you? You're gonna fall off!'."

Heavy rock - it's a young man's game. Once you're past 48 it's time to quit, eh, Tom?

Apparently, he said this with a straight face, too

Brian has, oooh, really spooked everyone out by invoking the Dev to promote his tour with Slayer:

"Satan is alive and well and living on the planet Earth, and now you know exactly where to find him - this tour."

Ooh! He'll be doing a pentangle in biro on the back of his hand next, and mucking about with ouija boards and god knows what else.

Satan issued a statement in response: "Look, I've got a lot on at the moment trying to get Falwell settled in, so let's keep this brief. Even if I did exist and wasn't merely a construct of religion desperate to have some sort of stick to keep the folk in line, do you seriously think I'd waste my time going on a bloody Marilyn Manson tour, listening to him night after night? I'm meant to be the one who inflicts the misery round here. Anyway, what's with Manson? Is he, like, ten? Does he think life is some sort of perpetual round of trick or treating?"

Metallica fans in love

Character comedian Marilyn Manson is hooking up with parody band Slayer in the hope a joint tour of the US might attract enough attention to outrage someone. Or at least unsettle somebody.

A parent's group in Texas has offered to get up a petition to have the event banned, although they admitted they were only doing it for old time's sake, and they'd probably end up spending the time fighting more pertinent threats to them, their straight families and the square way of life. "You know, like those brightly painted crabs you can buy in malls now - they seem to be the work of the devil far more than anything young Brian has to offer..."

Declining shock value united

With middle America now well aware that they're both about as threatening as the proverbial chocolate Hob-Nob, Marilyn Manson and Slayer are trying one last gasp to scare the pants out of everybody: they're uniting for a joint tour of the US.

It's not even Alien Versus Predator, is it? It's more like Abbott And Costello meet... well, Abbott and Costello, to be honest.