So, what has Gordon got on his mind this morning? There's a long, dull piece about some footballer or other who's involved with Danielle Lloyd, which is notable only for Gordon's finish:
Although enough to justify several hundred words, lots of photos and a lead story in your column, we notice, Gordo.
Gordon also fills space by ("makes space for") running several pictures from Jordan's calendar, which is a wonderful piece of journalism as it involved, erm, buying a calendar that's been on sale since the first of October and copying the pictures; and reporting that Mel B has worn a fairly tight t-shirt. It gives Gordon the chance to vary his limited vocabulary for females breasts - apparently Mel B has "Eddies":
Subtle, Gordon. Very subtle.