Darkness at 3AM: Groins gone toxic

Day four of the new management at 3AM, and it looks like they've already run into the ground: today, they're running with Alfie Allen's public hair.

Yes, the-brother-of-the-daughter-of-the-bloke-from-the-mouthwash-advert. Apparently he's had to have his pubes trimmed before going onstage in Equus.

Yes, that's their lead story.

They also have a pop stars get drunk shocka - the Arctic Monkeys, in this case. They attempt to make the story interesting by injecting a not-very-subtle drugs reference:

Jaime [Winston, who turned up] clearly had quite a thirst as she kept shouting for her Coke.

Do you get... oh, you do.

More surprisingly, they manage to get the Natasha Bedingfield story completely wrong:

All that attention in the States must have gone to Natasha Bedingfield's head 'cos she seems to have forgotten where she comes from.

The toothy singer has cracked America by being the first UK-signed female to enter the Billboard album charts at number three. And her next single is being released in the US first.

Except, of course, the album was held back for months in the US before being pushed out in the weak, post-Christmas period - hence its better-than-expected chart entry point - garnering a bunch of less-than-impressed reviews.

But with all this talk of being big in the US, she's ignoring her UK fans.

All 10 of them, that is, because last night Natasha cancelled all her UK tour dates again blaming US commitments.

"Last night"? Ten days ago, surely?