Saturday, August 22, 2009

Peter Andre reaches the stage of sitting by the door looking sad

Obviously, there is no real dignity to be lost in the affair of Peter Andre and Jordan, but dignity-like substance that Andre has been clinging to - you know, the one where he screamed at the mother of his children through the medium of Star magazine; that substance - seems to have evaporated:

Peter Andre is releasing a cookery book of "meals for one".

Rumours that his next single will feature the sound of a fork popping through cellophane and the lonely ting of a microwave announcing the slight overcooking of a reclaimed chicken product in some sort of sauce are almost certainly going to prove to be true.


James said...

But just to clarify, this is a genuine break-up and not at all a tawdry micromanaged sham aimed at wringing out a few more products and TV series from the brand, scheduled with the cold precision of the Biggin Hill Air Show.

Two questions spring to mind though;
1) How many recipes will he have had time to create in the tiny amount of time since their 'split'? Is this basically going to be a reprint of Delia Smith's 'One Is Fun' with a special insert detailing the recipe for 'Pete's Perfect Heated-Up-Ginster's-Steak-Slice with side-portion of Cry-and-a-Wank'?
2) Will their inevitable Christmas best-seller 'Jordan and Peter's Guide to Marriage (We Saved Ours and So Can You!)' explain that the best way to repair a break-up is to speed-dial OK! magazine every day with heavy-handed suggestions that you're having it off with someone else?

simon h b said...

Do you suppose they had a meeting with lawyers - "no, Mr. Andre, my client is most insistent she should be the one to be seen putting it about while you stay at home sobbing."

"Yes, Peter, as your lawyer I must say that does sound much more on-brand..."

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