Peaches Geldof: ... plus, we get to keep the linens and crockery we got as gifts

Peaches Geldof has no regrets about her surprisingly already finished marriage to some bloke from some band:

“Max and I are really good friends. We were just too young. That’s all it was. I still love the idea that we did it. I love the idea I can tell my kids one day about it and I know he does too.”

There's not much point in adding anything to that. Let's all just pretend it never happened, shall we?

Peaches and, erm, whatever his name was: The dream is over

Surprisingly, considering that ranty defence of the union she undertook not so long back, Peaches Geldof and thatblokefromtheband have announced they intend to divorce. Let's not rush to be too cynical - the marriage did last several months, which is more than most experts are giving Peaches' magazine.

Peaches: It's on again

BBC News Online is reporting denials of today's News of the World story that Peaches Geldof is divorcing her husband, Thingy McThing of the Chester Cheetos.

Mind you, BBC News Online also describes Geldof as a "dj and television presenter", so I'm not sure I'd accept their word on this one.

Gordon in the morning: Peaches gets her man, or a man

Peaches Geldof's quick ceremony in Las Vegas - she popped into a wedding chapel and came out, officially and legally, as a pisspoor parody of Britney Spears - gets a full three-byline coverage from The Sun, leaving Gordon with nothing to do but supply an opinion piece.

But, really, what is there to say?

GETTING married at the ripe old age of 19 strikes me as yet another cry for attention from Peaches.

Does it? And yet, if so, why are you giving her the attention?

More interestingly is the way that Smart thinks it's the age rather than the nature of the marriage which is the demand to be looked at. Quite a few people get married at 19 and have long and successful marriages, surely, Gordon?

Nor would I like to be in her new hubby’s shoes, not least because he is now married to an immature teenager.

Not least. Mind you, it's probably no less terrible than being in Chester French.

Still, we've seen Little House On The Prairie, and we know how this one goes - the dad makes the judge un-marry them at gun point, doesn't he?

Meanwhile, Gordon claims that Madonna is about to lets call it "adopt" another Malawian, who nobody at all is pretending to be an orphan this time round, at least. Smart, though, runs a photo of the child - Mercy. Perhaps he believes that the PCC rules on invading the privacy of children don't apply if they're not British.