It was all about voices, not personalities. Or names.

You'd have to have sympathy for Mark Linsey. The BBC's Executive Editor for entertainment commissioning couldn't remember the name of the winner of The Voice when asked at the Edinburgh TV Festival.

Leanne Mitchell, apparently.

That's showbusiness. (I bet nobody can remember anyone who won episodes of that, either.)

Peter Andre: what exactly was your job description?

I'll be honest, I'd thought that Peter Andre was clearly tagged as "former minor singer" as far as a career goes, but it turns out that's rather outdated of me:

[Talking to the Edinburgh TV festival] he said he had no misgivings about subjecting his marriage to the media spotlight. "I couldn't regret it – it's your job, and there'll be bits of your job you don't like."

Being filmed married to Jordan was your job? What the hell did you have written on your passport under 'occupation', exactly?

Ant And Dec blame other people for Susan Boyle

Ant And Dec have popped up at the Edinburgh TV Festival to defend the way Britain's Got Talent gave Susan Boyle a breakdown:

"What would you then do, start censoring people because they won't be able to handle the fame and attention as well as you think they should?" McPartlin told the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival today.

"You can't stop people coming on the show … just because they don't handle it in the way we expect them to. It doesn't mean it's wrong.

"Susan Boyle performed three times on the show. The show didn't camp paparazzi outside her house, the show didn't put it in the newspapers. I personally believe that every care was taken with Susan Boyle and they looked after her very well indeed."

So, somehow, there's no reason for Simon Cowell and his chums to feel in any way responsible for putting the woman into a position where she had the paparazzi outside her house and was in every newspaper?

Do Ant (left) and Dec (right) really think that we're so ignorant that we'll believe that, left to them, and Cowell, and ITV, there'd be nothing in the papers about BGT; that when the TV programme gets in the news they feel that it's a violation of their performers rather than massive acres of free publicity for their show? That the network and the production doesn't rely on it being in all the papers? That there's a team of PR people whose job is to get the show into all the papers?

That's probably the greatest insult to our nation's collective intelligence since, ooh, ITV tried to tell us we shouldn't blame Ant And Dec for the fleecing of phonevoters as their "producer" credits didn't really mean they'd know what was going on.

Gordon in the morning: Remember I told you

Given Gordon's ability to run a dozen stories that are wrong to every one that's sort-of right, it's perhaps unsurprising he's enjoying having been kind-of right earlier this week on the Oasis story.

Of course, if you read today's piece, you'd come away with the impression that Smart had written a piece predicting the actual moment that Liam would smash Noel's guitar rather than a hedging, cagey "could this be the end" type piece.

Still, he's making bold predictions now:

In ten years' time, if the money is right and Liam finally calms down from his permanent rage then maybe, just maybe, they will play again.

I hope they do. But it is going to take a long time for this one to blow over.

Still, you'll be wondering - especially in light of his boss James Murdoch insisting that The Sun and it's "independent" journalism is worth paying money for - who, exactly, on Gordon's team alerted him to the end of the current phase of Oasis? Let's see the News Corporation investment at work:

Scots singer AMY MACDONALD, who was at the French gig, said on Twitter: "Oasis cancelled again with one minute to stage time!!! Liam smashed Noel's guitar, huuuge fight"

Ah. So when James Murdoch was in Edinburgh railing at the BBC for telling people what's happening in the world without expecting people to pay, he should also be calling for the future Cameron government to dismantle Amy MacDonald for doing the same thing, should he?

Still, that independent journalism would have kicked in once Gordon was aware of the story, right? Gordon would have been sending someone out to get coverage of what was going on, rather than merely hitting F5 on his keyboard, over and over?

The man who first signed the band, ALAN McGEE, then chipped in on Facebook.

He said: "Just got phoned by somebody at Rock en Seine that Oasis have just split up an hour ago and manager or tour manager made the announcement to 50,000 fans. Madness are now playing 2 sets as they played already at festival. f*** knows..."

God, James Murdoch really has a point, doesn't he? If the BBC crush the likes of The Sun's online service, how ever will we get the chance to pay Gordon Smart for cutting and pasting from free news services online?

The harsh face of reality

If you know that Max Clifford is the voice of reason, you can probably guess the sentence has to end "... in a conversation with Sharon Osbourne, at least."

The pair were on a panel at the Guardian's Edinburgh Television Festival debating reality TV, which was most notable for the way the pair were desperate to simultaneously destroy each other's arguments, while not offending their friends and paymasters:

"You know there's a line where people say you can't polish a turd," Osbourne said. "This is the man that polishes turds."

In a heated exchange, Osbourne added that she wasn't referring to Simon Cowell, who Clifford represents and who she famously clashed with on The X Factor, but instead meant his reality TV stars.

When Clifford said he advised his clients not to go on reality shows, Osbourne replied: "If you earn some portion of your living from these people going on these shows bearing their souls, don't knock them."

Osbourne also tried to correct the impression that she quit the X Factor over money (an impression created when Cowell said at the launch of the new series that she quit over demands for more money):

"The X Factor was the best experience of my life, I adored the show as it had done so much for me, but I quit because it was just time for me to go," she said.

"I was talking to a network in America about doing a show with my family and I couldn't do both," she added.

Although Simon Cowell manages to do X Factor, Britain's Got Talent, America's Got Talent and American Idol all at the same time. Even Piers Morgan manages to slime across shows on both sides of the Atlantic - Britain's and America's as well as the misleadingly titled Celebrity Apprentice.

Mark Frith was also on the panel, and to thank him for coming the Guardian finds space for one of his comments:

Former Heat magazine editor Mark Frith, also a panelist, said he had decided to leave the title as the world of celebrity had become "too dark" for him.

"I couldn't look at any more Amy Winehouse pictures with cuts on her arms and put them into an entertaining form," he added.

Frith spun this "oh celebrity has become so dark" line in his diaries, too - but why was he comfortable with running stories laughing at Leslie Ash and pointing fingers of fun at celebrities his magazine suggested might be suffering eating disorders, and all of a sudden decided it was too much? Isn't it surprising that you can run week after week of paparazzi coverage of Britney's breakdown - which, at the very least, wasn't exactly helped by the 24 hour coverage - and then to start tutting about how terrible it all is after you've left the job to pursue other projects? If you shit on the carpet, don't complain about the smell.

If only Noel had done his Amy Winehouse material at the festival

Dave - which is the name that UK TV G2 is living under as part of a witness protection programme - has been at the Edinburgh Festival in order to present an award for "the funniest joke of the festival". Surely Dave should be presenting an award for the funniest joke of last year's festival, but then present it again, and again, and again?

It's gone with a topical gag about Amy Winehouse. This might seem odd, as you might think that a topical joke will date very, very quickly indeed and it would be pointless to try and preserve it for posterity. But if you do think that, then, clearly, you're not in Dave's target audience.

Zoe Lyons' gag was this:

"I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her.

If that was the best joke told at the whole of Edinburgh, you have to feel sorry for people who bought tickets to other shows. They must be feeling as distraught as a Chinese company taking delivery of six thousand Liu Xiang: Champion tshirts.

Actually, it clearly wasn't the best joke at the festival, as Lyons' gag when she picked up the award was better:

"I am absolutely delighted to have won the award. I know self-harming is not funny but it's just a joke, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it."

[Thanks to Michael M for the link]

Your exclusive Edinburgh Festival supplement

The lovely people who do Folkadot in Camden are heading north to the other capital, Edinburgh, for a week of special events at the Forest Cafe as part of the festival. Here's the rather splendid line-up:

Wednesday 15th August

Jonny Berliner
Kate Richardson
Daniel Fazzina
Angel Anderson & Leon Cave
Gideon Conn
Rescue Cat
Monster Bobby

Thursday 16th August

Daniel Fazzina
Kevin Molloy
William Nein
Gideon Conn
Kate Richardson
David Goo

Friday 17th August

Wasi
George & Jonny Show
David Goo
William Nein
Rescue Cat
Monster Bobby
Sweet Chap

Saturday 18th August

Olly The Octopus
Kayv
Kevin Molloy
Sweet Chap
Wasi
Natty &
John Blood
Susana Lang-Lenton

Sunday 19th August

Kayv
George
Monster Bobby
Jonny Berliner
Natty & John Blood
Paul Hinnrichs
Susana Lang-Lenton

McManus takes disco Mary role

Have you been wondering what Michelle McManus is up to these days?

Oh, go on, at least try and look interested.

She's turned up in the cast of a disco-themed retelling of the nativity story at the Edinburgh Festival.

And you thought her career had tanked.

Michelle's excited:

"People may be surprised that I've chosen to play this role but I loved the script.

"And I've always wanted to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe. Also, as an aspiring actress, I felt this was a great challenge and would be a lot of fun as well."

Yes. Playing Mary in a nativity play - a challenge for an actor so great, most girls have nailed the role by the age of nine.