Venuewatch: Gibson Ampitheatre

This summer, the Gibson (né Universal) Ampitheatre in LA ends its lease, and closes. NPR reports:

The mid-sized space with was loved by everyone from head bangers to heads of state for its intimate setting with superior sound. Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Madonna, Kanye West, the Grateful Dead and many other major artists performed there.

Other headliners included Presidents Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush.

"Head bangers to heads of state". Nice work.

So, when the doors shut this summer, and after the bulldozers have moved in, what shall we get in return?

The closure makes way for the "Wizarding World of Harry Potter," an attraction that's part of a major theme park and studio expansion by property owner NBCUniversal.

Really? Is that a good idea in the longer term? Isn't this a bit like building WillowWorld or The Black Hole Experience?

Darkness at 3AM: Madonna protects the kids

Madonna's kids - or a couple of them - were amongst the throng going to see the new Harry Potter film. (Incidentally, with the cast looking older and older, isn't the whole thing starting to look a little less Hogwarts, more Please Sir On A Broomstick?)

3AM are delighted:

So Lourdes, 12, and eight-year-old Rocco are hoping the schoolboy wizard's latest adventure will charm newly adopted sister Mercy, too. Our insider reveals: "Madonna is very strict over what her children are allowed to watch. But Harry Potter is one of the exceptions. Lourdes watches them over and over, so it's only a matter of time before Mercy and David are fans."

Hang about... Rocco? Went to the opening of the new Harry Potter? Which is a 12A? Good god, if that's Madonna being "very strict", you'd hate to think what the pair would be getting from Netflix if she was a bit lax.

Gordon in the morning: Brand and the Bunny

According to Smart this morning, Russell Brand might be seeing someone who worked for failing soft porn empire, Playboy:

Not only that, it’s HOLLY MADISON, former girlfriend of the grandaddy of all legendary swordsmen, Playboy boss HUGH HEFNER.

Or, as the headline puts it:

Is Russ Avenue, Madison?

Which doesn't quite work, but is a good effort.

Since there's probably nothing to the story, and even if there is, there's not very much to it, Gordon is reduced to mumbling:

A source in Vegas said: “Russell has really hit it off with Holly. She’s a big star in the US, which he finds really attractive."

Not to make Brand sound shallow or anything.

“And his constant tomfoolery has her in stitches. Russ has been making late-night visits to her home in the Hollywood Hills."

Tomfoolery? Constant tomfoolery? Does he make apple-pie beds or something?

Elsewhere - and if you don't know how Harry Potter ends, look away now - Gordon has photos from the next movie:

HEARTBROKEN witch Hermione carries elf pal Dobby’s body to the grave in emotional scenes from the final Harry Potter film.

Now, it is just a plastic elf from a children's story about wizards, but clearly the entertainment team has decided to treat the story gently and reflect the emotion poured in to the movie scene by the cast and crew.

Hasn't he?

Drop the dead Dobby

Oh. Maybe not, then.

Gordon, meanwhile, has got his Photoshop team to mock up Michael Jackson as he might look if he was amongst the young cast of High School Musical. Luckily, only from the waist up.

This is because of Kenny Ortega choreographing the Millennium Dome gigs. And Ortega did the dance moves for High School Musical. So, right, it's like Michael hiring the guy from the movies to try and bring that magic in to his world, right, Gordon?

The choreographer, who also worked with Jacko on his Dangerous and HIStory world tours, said: “To be invited to partner him again is a dream come true."

So, rather than "Jackson hires High School Musical man", it's "Jackson continues to work with his long-term collaborator". Presumably, though, it'd be harder for the Photoshop crew to mock up a picture of Jackson looking like Michael Jackson.

Gordon in the morning: LA Ink

Does David Beckham really watch Prison Break, Gordon? Does he really?

DAVID BECKHAM’S tattoo addiction has struck again.

The LA Galaxy midfielder looks more and more like his hero, the heavily tattooed character Michael Scofield in US TV drama Prison Break.

Beckham's latest tattoo is a long one, suggesting that he's not got much else to do bar sit around having people write on him. This one means "death and life have determined appointments; riches and honour depend upon heaven", which is lovely, isn't it? It implies that he and his wife aren't obscenely rich because of a mixture of luck and talent, but because God wanted it so.

Gordon is worried that Beckham is getting too many tattoos:

I’ve got a Chinese/Scottish proverb for Becks — which he should keep in mind from now on.

Becks, who grew up in Chingford, could keep it on a Post-it note in his undercrackers for the next time he finds himself lying down for an inking.

It reads: “Essex geezer who has too many tattoos will regret the body ink when he gives up the footy and becomes a fat lad.”

We're not entirely sure why Gordon wants David to put this on a piece of paper down his knickers - surely a post-it in your underwear would imply it's stuck on your cock? What can it all mean?

Let's move on, to this wholesome Harry Potter story, shall we?

Quidditchy bum for Ron and Co

HARRY Potter star RUPERT GRINT says the cast need a magic potion — to soothe their NUMB BUMS.

It turns out this is about the problems of filming Quidditch scenes.

Darkness at 3AM: It's made up, you know

The 3AM Girls lead with the Emma Watson story - although they seem to think he's called Joel, whereas Gordon insists he's Jay.

Their story does contain one of those heart-sinking phrases, up there with the New Statesman's "come in, Sir Geoffrey's on sparkling form":

At one point, Alfie Allen tried to chat with them

The 3Am Girls spend rather too long detailing the teenagers kissing - they're teenagers, they're having a fling, it's what teeenagers do - before worrying:

But we're not sure what Dumbledore would think about one of his star pupils staying over with her fella in a hotel.

Probably nothing, what with him being a fictional character and Emma Watson not actually being Hermione Granger. She pretends. It's almost as if the 3AM Girls can't tell the difference between something made-up and something that actually happens.

The piece ends with a hint of desperation:

If you know Joel, give us a call - 020 7293 3950

It's not clear exactly how many pieces of silver are on offer.

Madonna Generation 2

Despite all the honking Madonna did a couple of years back about how she protects her children from publicity's glare, Lourdes is apparently being lined up for a bit in the next Harry Potter .

Equally surprising is the quote from a "source" run by new uberfuhrer of Suntertainment Victoria Newton:

“After all her recent public appearances, looking more like a sophisticated teen than a child, the attention on her is really growing."

Is it just us, or is there something a little disturbing in talking about eleven year old kids in this way? Especially from a paper that makes such a fuss about other forms of child exploitation.

Anyway, we're delighted to hear that Lourdes is picking up some acting jobs, and are certain that it's based entirely on what she can do rather than who she is.