A SONGWRITER'S WAY WITH WORDS: Darius is just starting to comeback - although, really, it's more shifting to different form of semi-obscurity - following his Dad's remission from cancer, and as part of the process, he's done a chinwag with Sky News. In the course of it, he describes Seal as "a total legend of mine", which seems to imply that he thinks he made him up.

Asked if Pop Idol meant he had a stinky, smelly stigma attached to him, Darius is thoughtful:

Maybe it has been harder in some ways. But then, I supported Shakira once in Paris in front of 40,000 people, which was a dream. None of them knew me at the beginning, but by the end 40,000 people were cheering along to my music.

Perhaps, Darius. Or perhaps they were just cheering because you'd come to the end of your set?

In places like India it's the same. They have no pre-conceived ideas of me on a telly show because they didn't get Pop Idol over there. When they like my music that's enormously gratifying.

And yet, despite these success the world over, Darius isn't going to be setting his cap at US success:

Europe yes, America no. I am going to really go for it in Europe, but if Robbie (Williams) can't do it in America then I'm not going to try. It just seems too much.

This is more than a little sad - the belief that somehow Robbie's rebuff from the States is an indication that the country is somehow impenetrable is just crazy. Actually, Darius - who is quite happy to do small gigs, sing live, go all over the place, even do horrible jobs like holding Geri Halliwell's hand on a kind of date - probably had much more chance of finding success in the US than Robbie 'After you've fetched me the world on a plate, I'll have the moon on a stick' Williams ever could. Plus, wouldn't you love to see Robbie watching Darius have a Billboard Number One? Wouldn't you just?

WHO SAYS THERE'S NO POINT TO THE ORANGE PLAYLIST Besides ensuring Lauren Laverne isn't forced to take dates from aging billionaires to pay for her catfood and eyeliner, it also has great "exclusive" stories. This week, for example, Bob Mortimer "reveals" his role in securing Javis Cocker's freedom after The Brits stage invasion.

"Reveals" in the sense of "tells a story that was in all the papers at the time". However, it is a pretty good story:

I became aware that Jarvis was being held under a kind of false imprisonment.

"His friend came and found me and asked me to help, presumably because I used to be a solicitor.

"We went to Jarvis's room and blocking the door was all Michael Jackson's security, these huge beasts that wouldn't let us in.

"The police came and asked them to move away and they wouldn't. So I said 'I'm his solicitor, I'm representing Jarvis Cocker you have to allow me access to my client or I'll sue you and your boss, blah blah blah...'

"So they let me in and I was like 'Jarvis what the f*** have you done?' - and he said - 'I showed me bum to Michael Jackson and they've locked me in here'.

"I went to the Brits people and said you have to let him leave, they too tried to shift Michael Jackson's security and they couldn't.

"Eventually the police had to pretend to arrest Jarvis so that they could get him out, when we got back to the police station they let us go. So that's where the 'Free Jarvis' campaign started."

Oddly, this week's photo shows Lauren and Bob actually making the programme rather than in the traditional, slightly uneasy posed shot. Maybe this is the first programme where Lauren didn't look as if she would rather be doing some ironing while the guests ramble on:

"WE HAVE ALREADY ESTABLISHED WHAT YOU ARE; NOW WE'RE JUST HAGGLING ABOUT THE PRICE": We've often wondered exactly where the point came when you had more money than sense. What would it look like? Now we know, it looks like 72 year old Dickie Lugner paying half a million quid for a date with Geri Halliwell.

When we first saw the headline 'Geri paid £500K for a date' we did at first think 'Blimey, where did she get that kind of money?'; when we found out that was what she was charging, we were even more puzzled. We don't know how Lugner made his money, but someone who has so grossly overpaid for something which has the going rate of a bag of chips and two snakebites clearly doesn't have a great deal of financial nous.

ISLEY REJECTS IRS CHARGES: Late last year, the IRS hit Ronald Isley with a slew of non-tax paying related charges; Isley has entered a plea of innocent and will face trial from March. The claims include an allegation that Ronald had been banking cheques intended for other members of the Isley Brothers, including the now-dead O'Kelly.

BRITNEY SPEARS' BRIGHTNESS QUESTIONED: Hard to believe, but a famous name has stated his belief that Britney might be a bit thick:

"She was really quite up herself and couldn't be bothered. Sorry, but she's the sort of person who does an interview looking over your shoulder at the people advising her. I think her trouble is that she's not very intelligent."

He continues, "She doesn't know what's the right thing to say. You'll say to her, 'So tell me about the new record.' And she'll say, 'It's cool, it's fine, it's hanging out.' She gives the same answer to everything."

And, believe me, when someone with the gravitas of Eamonn Holmes says your thick, boy, that must sting.

THE CELEB CIRCLE JERK: It's not especially surprising, but Robbie Williams says he really wants to be like Bono. But Robbie, you are, chuckles. You're over-rated, overexposed, dressing up vapidity as if it was profound, and it's ten years since either of you made a decent record.

ON THE SAUCE: How many more times, guys? If you're driving a car stuffed with drugs, make sure you drive carefully. Better, if you're pissed, don't drive at all. If D'Angelo had taken our advice, he wouldn't now be looking at DUI and drug possession charges. But, oh no, he knew better; got stopped, and now has a date in the courtroom on Tuesday. Plus, he'll forever be haunted by his mugshot:



Meanwhile, Emilio Navaira is also looking at a court booking: the grammy winning tejano singer was stopped in San Antonion after losing control of his SUV. He said he'd only had "three drinks", but then someone who thinks that an SUV is about the right size for a car probably has larger drinks than the rest of us.

IT WAS LIKE AN ALL YOU CAN EAT... OH, YOU'RE AHEAD OF ME: I believe that the next version of Microsoft Office will actually autocomplete the 'all you can eat' gag when you start typing about Jimmy Buffett opening another branch of his Cheeseburger in Paradise fast food chain.

DOING RIGHT BY YOUR MATES: Nobody ever believes you when you tell them "I'm off to make a success, I shall be back for you once I'm rich..." - certainly Jason Orange is starting to think that maybe Robbie has forgotten him - but Franz Ferdinand are different. Drummer Paul Thomson has set up a label just to release stuff by the band he left behind, Pro Forma. Sweet.

BASHIR JOINS THE TRIAL: Michael Jackson is probably gathered in a small room with his advisors right now, trying to remember what he said about Martin Bashir after the airing of Living With.... "Uh... I might have said he was a salacious ratings chaser... and that he betrayed me... there might have been a bit about him making a terrible programme... do you think that could be problem now Martin Bashir will be giving evidence in the trial?"

OKAY, SO THE SECOND TIME IS FARCE... WHAT ARE THIRD AND FOURTH?: Like a slightly paunchy grandfather returning to prizefighting, Tony Wilson has resurrected Factory records for a fourth time. (Yes, fourth - there was the one that got flogged to London when it ran out of cash, Factory Too... we're buggered if we know what the other one was). It looks like it's going to be downloads only, perhaps at first, which suggests this more a labour of love than a well-resourced outfit. Still, you can't help but admire Wilson for talents at getting right up, dusting right down, and starting all over again.

Northside are rumoured to be mulling putting together a demo tape.

NAPSTER IN TROUBLE?: The announcement by the RIAA-endorsed neutered Napster that its cutting download prices to the same level as iTunes, 79 pence a pop, suggests that they're having trouble getting people interested in their product. There's a couple of ass-covering statements from the company - they say the move is "in response to an upsurge in record sales over the festive period" and, according to Leanne Sharman, UK general manager:

"With Napster clearly on its way to success we wanted to further fuel our growth with more attractive pricing and create an even broader appeal to music fans," said Leanne Sharman, Napster vice-president and UK general manager.

"By dropping our store prices in preparation for the launch of Napster To Go we are able to offer UK music fans an unbeatable proposition – their choice of how they want to consume music online – via downloads, subscription, or portable subscription – all at low cost and integrated into the most feature-rich and community focused digital music environment in the world."

So, from the first statement, we're supposed to think Napster is seeing itself in competition with physical CD sales; and yet Sharman says the idea is to go for "more attractive pricing." But there's no reason to suppose that Napster are cutting prices for any reason other than the traditional reason retailers drop their prices: to get people interested in what they're trying to flog. No successful shop cuts its prices unless they have to.

NAPSTER IN TROUBLE?: The announcement by the RIAA-endorsed neutered Napster that its cutting download prices to the same level as iTunes, 79 pence a pop, suggests that they're having trouble getting people interested in their product. There's a couple of ass-covering statements from the company - they say the move is "in response to an upsurge in record sales over the festive period" and, according to Leanne Sharman, UK general manager:

"With Napster clearly on its way to success we wanted to further fuel our growth with more attractive pricing and create an even broader appeal to music fans," said Leanne Sharman, Napster vice-president and UK general manager.

"By dropping our store prices in preparation for the launch of Napster To Go we are able to offer UK music fans an unbeatable proposition – their choice of how they want to consume music online – via downloads, subscription, or portable subscription – all at low cost and integrated into the most feature-rich and community focused digital music environment in the world."

So, from the first statement, we're supposed to think Napster is seeing itself in competition with physical CD sales; and yet Sharman says the idea is to go for "more attractive pricing." But there's no reason to suppose that Napster are cutting prices for any reason other than the traditional reason retailers drop their prices: to get people interested in what they're trying to flog. No successful shop cuts its prices unless they have to.

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: About time too, there's only 353 days left
We're not sure, but surely the gap between the 2004 Review and the 2005 Preview issues of the NME has to be the longest ever? Anyway, having paused for a pre-Christmas, Christmas, The New Year and the Franz special, we're finally down to the 2005 crystal-meth gazing. Compared with last year, when it was proudly proclaimed to be the year of the Oasis Return, this year is looking much better: Bloc Party are on the front. There is a pokey Chris Martin tucked in the corner, but we can pretend that's not happening. It is, of course: there's a report from the studio, where the Play are using the riff from Computer Love on one of their new songs (which is like taking the engine from a Bentley to use as a doorstop); and writing exciting new lyrics: "You and me are floating on a tidal wave together/ You and me are drifting into outer space." Thanks for that, Chris.

News reports that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are planning a "total change of style for 2005" - the main change being they're going to actually stick a record out towards the end of this year, something they've not done since 2002.

Peter Robinson takes on Liela Moss from Duke Spirit: She claims she never watched Z-Cars, but she does like hill-walking. That's the problem with outdoors, like Smog said: you risk missing something good on the TV.

Cat Goodwin, NME picture assistant, gets an oped slot to suggest that in the light of the Tsunami deaths, watching popstars kill themselves might be a little more sick. She also suggests that William Blake was talking bullshit when he said "the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." She should be writing more, trying to find an interesting picture of Chris Martin less, although frankly, she describes Coldplay as "the best British band, which suggests that maybe she shouldn't.

So, who are the NME pinning their 2005 hopes on? Kaiser Chiefs - "grouting" says Peanut, "is very similar to indie music"; Kano, who provided 16 Bars for Fit But You Know It; The Bravery, whose Sam uses the medium of the film Twins to explain themselves: "The bands we're compared to are Danny DeVito; The Bravery are Arnold Schwarzenegger." (Which is actually the wrong way round - The Bravery are the funny, inspired, energetic one); The Game, apparently about to piss over 50 Cent's sales records (say his record company); Nine Black Alps, the indiest indie band ever; The Longcut, the first Manc band to sign to Deltasonic; The Arcade Fire, with Win admitting that he wanted Regine in the band because he fancied her; The Subways, beaten in a Welwyn Garden City best band contest by a now defunct reggae act; The Magic Numbers, who are either so good or so rubbish Noel Gallagher bought them a pint. And, of course, Bloc Party.

This year, then, is looking pretty good - not only does there not seem to be any bands who've been included because otherwise there'd be an empty page or two, but there feels like a genuine sense of excitement in the way the paper covers them. While some of the previous years "Here comes..." issues have read like The New Republic previewing another four years of Bush, this feels like hearts are really coming back into it.

And then there's Bloc Party. A band who are proud of having library cards. It could be a great year.

reviews
live
pete doherty - news year eve dates - "it was like Beatlemania" says reader Jane, who would have been all of minus 23 when Beatlemania was happening.
guided by voices - chicago metro - the final gig is reviewed by Carl Dalemo from Razorlight: "The whole venue is begging for the band to go on... just one more song..."
the tears - london heaven - the first gig: "the tears have picked up from the moment they left off a decade ago... the chemistry remains"

albums
the chemical brothers - push the button - "some moments worth salvaging", 4
kissogram - the secret life of captain ferber - "weary, witty pop songs", 7
entrance - wandering stranger - "the international son of cosmic blues", 8

tracks
totw - the others - lackey - "a corkscrew in the head of Keane fans"
park attack - tongue n groove - "the kind of [thing] popular in New York in 1983"
little barrie - free salute - "the Toploader its okay to like"

Next week, it's going to be The Killers.You can almost forgive the bastards for slapping Bono's gob on the newsagent's stand for two weeks, can't you?

NOT ACTUALLY FOREVER, THEN: The Salvation Army have announced plans to close Strawberry Fields, the children's home that was in that song. Penny Lane by the Beatles, we think it was. The charity says that, blimey, have you seen how much they could get if they let it be turned into pokey flats to be marketed at ridiculous rates as 'Manhattan style loft apartments' ("they are 'responding to change' and it is 'now preferable for children to be cared for within a foster family or in a small group home, rather than within large residential institutions'").

YOU'VE GOT TO DIG UP YOURSELF, LIVELY: Rita Marley has announced plans to exhume Bob Marley's remains in order to allow him to be reburied in his spiritual home, Ethiopia:

"Bob's whole life is about Africa, it is not about Jamaica," Rita said. "He has a right for his remains to be where he would love them to be."

The re-internment will form the centrepeice of a month of Marley themed celebrations in the Addis Ababa.

I'M MY OWN MOTHER: If you fancy some old-fashioned family values, how about Sharon allowing Kelly Osbourne to play her in the Osbournes TV movie? We have a little while to wait until this wonderful project hits the screens, as Sharon is having trouble casting someone as Ozzy (although we imagine Jack keeps coughing politely whenever the subject comes up):

"It has great potential but it will be hard to cast someone to play Ozzy.

"He is rather unique, you see, and it will take a big man to fill those shoes."

What do you mean? Even my Dad can do an impression of Ozzy Osbourne, and he doesn't even know who he is (note to self: check his medication levels); Ozzy is so easy to do even John Culshaw manages a decent version on Dead Ringers. Not being able to find someone to play Ozzy is like a schoolteacher saying that there's nobody able to carry off the role of 'tree' in a school play.

WE'RE SENDING HIM A FIVER TO HELP HIM THROUGH THE WINTER: Although he may have earned twenty-two million quid less in royalties last year, we imagine Robbie Williams won't be complaining about the two million he still managed to pocket for not doing very much. Although it is Robbie, and "Williams won't be complaining" does sound an unlikely phrase.

WHAT I GO TO SCHOOL OF ROCK FOR: We're sure The Samaritans will be sticking in a couple of extra phone lines as the rumours grow that Busted are about to split for good. Charlie seems more and more determined forever to make Fightstar his full time job; tittle suggests the trio haven't spoken to each other since they played Wembley, and in short: it could all be over.

SEND FOR COLT SEAVERS: Good god, Judge Dread Blunkett's only been gone a couple of weeks and already the country is sliding into a sea of scofflawing and anarchy. Take, for example, Lee Ryan - convicted of smashing up photographer's equipment, and ordered by a court to pay two hundred quid. Apparently, the photographers haven't had a penny, so a warrant has been issued for Ryan's arrest. Lee's spokesperson says it's all a terrible misunderstanding:

"Lee's representative paid the costs by credit card on the day of the court case and that marked the end of the case as far as Lee was concerned.

"He is amazed and upset to hear that the matter appears to be unresolved and will be looking into how the mix-up could have occurred immediately."

Is it just us, or is there something lacking in the whole penalising element of Ryan's sentence that he got someone else to put his fine onto a credit card? In effect, not only has he got someone else to do his sentence for him, but it seems to be Mastercard who have been fined.

We actually wonder if what happened was something like this:

Ryan: God, two hundred quid? We'd have to have another four number ones before Mr. Manager would give me that much... would you pay for me, Mr. Minder?
Mr. Minder: Go stuff yourself, Ryan. I'm here to make sure you don't lick no more electric cables or get locked in the toilets again, no more
Ryan: Please...
Mr. Minder: No
Ryan: I'll try and swim in the goldfish tank at the restaurant again
Mr. Minder: Oh, alright, then. You wait outside.
Ryan: Thank you. [Exits]
[Mr. Minder takes out a paper, reads it for ten minutes, and follows Ryan out]
Mr. Minder: There you go, Ryan. I stuck it on my credit card. All sorted.
Ryan: Thank you. Can we get ice-cream?

WHICH COUNTRY DO YOU MEAN?: One of the joys, we guess, about music is that you can find anything in it you want, and assign your own meanings; and, we suppose, if Who Moved My Truth? is listening to country on US radio, then she presumably will hear nothing but ole'fashioned family values and support for the country. But it's disappointing that anyone can really believe that

"country music is typically about traditional values. NOT EVERY SONG, but many songs still proclaim the joy of marriage, the importance of family, and the regret for foolish mistakes."

It's a little like suggesting that the great thing about Goth is that all those songs about graveyards really encourages young people to get out in the open air and get some colour into their cheeks. Country music about the joy of marriage? Would that be "you picked a fine to leave me Lucille", or maybe "d-i-v-o-r-ce-e" that you're thinking of? Likewise, suggesting that country is the home of mindless patriotism is to ignore the long tradition of country singers who call the president to account - from Steve Earle during the current war, right back through Country Joe and the Fish and beyond.

Like we say: you can find any meanings in music you choose. But it's claims that country musicians are Republicans in stetsons which stops a lot of people from really discovering the true, contrarian heart of country music.

THE UNDEAD: The cloying panic rising in our stomachs isn't so much worrying that the 1000th number one is going to be Elvis, it's more the sudden realisation that a twenty-five year old corpse looks set to number one every week until May. Lord help us all.

JERMAINE WONDERS: WOULD IT BE DISLOYAL TO SEND HIS CV?: Huffed up that cameras have been banned from the Jackson trial, Sky and E! have come together to produce a dramatic reconstruction of the court action. They're going to churn five half-hour programmes out every day - so, the sort of high production values we've come to associate with Sky, then. We're not quite sure quite how much "entertainment" value E! believes there will be in reports of young children allegdly being abused, although we have heard there's quite an audience for that sort of thing.

EVERYBODY'S ON SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST: On the basis that it really did Franz Ferdinand no harm at all, there's going to be a huge Edinburgh presence at this year's SXSW. Dawn of The Replicants (a band we've heard nothing from in way, way too long), Idlewild, Aberfeldy and Hobotalk are making the trip; even more astonishing: so are The Rezillos.

GRUFF ON HIS OWN: Not since Plug was spun out of the Bash Street Kids to front his own comic has there been such a risky solo project as Gruff Rhys playing a few dates on his own (Colwyn Bay Theatr Colwyn February 10; Harlech Theatr Ardudwy 11; Penarth Paget Rooms 12). The last time he was out on his own would have been that Today appearance...

SOMEWHERE AT APPLE HQ, THERE MUST BE PICTURE OF BILL GATES AND THE WORDS 'NEVER AGAIN': Obviously, as Mac lovers, we're most swimmy about the creation of an affordable, entry level Apple computer, but from a music industry point of view, Steve Job's announcement of a new member of the iPod family: smaller than a packet of chewing gum, and fifty quid for 512Mb suggests that Apple have no plans to allow their lead in the music portables sector fall at any end of the market.

HEAD DAMAGE:Daryl Paulmbo has had a resurgence of his crohn's disease trouble, so Head Automatica have pulled their shows again - they'd been down to support the Used through January. No word on replacements yet. Get well soon, Dary.

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY TRANSATLANTIC SPECIAL: Being a collection of things culled from papers on the American news-stands over the Christmas period.

The New Yorker decided to see if music could make you happy like an old friend, and so found a bunch of Beatles fans, hooked them up to a heart rate monitor, and played them one of the mop-top's records. The conclusion? "True love never dies." Sadly, they didn't then try playing them something by The Plastic Ono Band, but then again, there are ethical considerations even in pop science experiments.

Entertainment Weekly had a dire warning to sound: Alanis Morrisette is preparing her sitcom debut - it's going to be a music business version of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and she believes it will "dispel the myths" about her. Presumably the big myth, that she really can't be as hunourless and self-regarding as she seems.

EW also realised that - hey - maybe American radio might not be all its cracked up to be, and the internets could prove it. They featured a site called promosquad.com, which it feels shows there's a whole audience not being served by the mainly Clear Channelesque American. Oddly, though, promosquad seems to be throwing most of its weight amongst blue jean adulty rock grunts like Phoenix, which doesn't really seem to be the most obvious segment being overlooked by American radio.

Wes Anderson is asked about the way he uses film in music, and reveals that when he was making The Royal Tenenbaums, George Harrison was too ill to enable the clearing of rights to Hey Jude. So then he decided to get Elliot Smith to cover it. You might think he'd have quietly dropped the idea after that.

The Boston Globe scooped up an armfull of celeb-endorsed perfumes and got people who work with smells to give their opinions. Trash collector Nick Wozniak was one of the experts, pronouncing Beyonce's to be "like washer fluid... Windex or something" and Jessica Simpson's "like a peanut butter cookie". One whiff of J-Lo, however, resulted in "ooh, that one's bad."

Also in Boston, The Weekly Dig's review of 2004 included a full apology for having run a feature praising Dido.

Out Front Colorado spends some time with Rufus Wainwright: "After Poses was out, I got really disillusioned with pop culture and what they wanted. After a while, I just decided to be a snob... Mia Farrow and Genn Close are like these huge fans of mine..." Well, give him his due, when he set his mind to being a snob, he does it really well.

Something we've wondered about ourselves is puzzling The Onion AV Club: "Gwen Stefani is often touted as a rare 'real' personality in the pop environment, but what has she ever conjured besides the image of a Californian girl in a band with a bunch of boys?"

Paste is making Uncut's monthly CD look a little poor now - it gives everyone a free CD (this month including Alison Kraus, The Arcade Fire and Minnie Driver - but nobody's perfect); subscribers, though (and for one month only, everybody) gets a free DVD. A decent one, not the rubbish ad-box affair The Sunday Times does (was doing?). The DVD even has a mission, to try and recreate the 'oh my God what was that' spirit of early MTV.

Paste have also stolen a trick from the NME, introducing a band index - it can only be a few months before they go the whole hog and buy into the cult of Tim Jonze.

Nick Rhodes speaks of his relief when the Durans got back together: "thankfully, nobody turned up with a sitar or a heroin addiction..." - the words "or Warren" can be taken as read, of course.

The Donnas defend their decision to take part in ads for Target (Superdrug writ large) last year by pointing out it got them a gig playing Hello Kitty's 30th Birthday party.

"I'm not Britney Spears" says Neko Case, which is kind of like Rick Stein mentioning he's not running a branch of Burger King. She defends the short running time of The Tigers Have Spoken - 35 minutes - by pointing out that "just because a CD can hold more doesn't mean it should" - which is fair enough, but just because you can charge full price for half-an-album, equally, doesn't mean you must.

Paste are excited by Julie Dorion, because she's different to other indie stars. "Little could be less glamorous for an indie rocker than a profound longing to wash dishes and put the children to bed." Indie rock being, perhaps, one of the last bastions to fail to understand that having a kid doesn't mean you cease to exist.

The tale of Dan Messe and Hem is told, almost suggesting that there is a god, or a fate, or something at work: Hem's vocalist Sally Ellyson was working as a producer for CBS' 48 Hrs, missed the initial ad for a singer placed by Dan; by the time she found out about it, Messe had lost interest; he listened to her tape, but only - it turns out - by accident. There is no masterplan to the universe, but sometimes it looks like there might be.

If left to Peter Buck, apparently, the new REM Around The Sun, would have been "even slower and more acoustic" - which would probably be measureable in beats per hour. Meanwhile, Michael Stipe reveals something Bono once told him, which might explain a lot about recent U2 work: "every song doesn't have to be great, just do what we do." It's a curious point of view - that it's more important to just knock out the songs than to worry about making them as great as possible.

We thought Out Front Colorado might have had the most astonishing fact of the lot when it revealed that Manhattan Transfer are including Rufus Wainwright songs in their set, but then Paste announces that Tom Waits used to be really good friends with Fred Gwynne, who played Herman Munster for a living.

There's more on the state of American radio: Patty Loveless has, in effect, capitulated: "When I look back to 1994 and a detailed song like Here I Am, I wonder if it could get onto the radio today. We had to cut parts out of On Your Way Home to get it played on radio. Not words, but little bits of music. It hurt me to do it. But I did it." So, it's not enough to ensure that the lyrics are flat enough to fit the formats; nowadays, you have to cut off the spikes from the music as well.

On the other hand, there are signs of other openings: Paste now has a slot on CNN Headline News.

Any speculation that Paul Weller might be coming to terms with his status as pub quiz answer and sometimes seventh or eight influence named by skinny boy bands can be discounted: "I still have my self-doubts, but there are some aspects of my talent that I don't doubt anymore."

Maybe we can try and stir some extra self-doubt on your part, Paul. Rather than being too cruel - and playing you every dirge you've made since Mick Talbot went off to see if the hat shop would take the boater back - we'll just mention that when Skyscraper told Franz Ferdinand that American magazines suggest they're influenced by The Style Council, Alex hasn't heard of them.

"It's Paul Weller's band" chips in Nick.

"Oh, God" replies Alex.

Skyscraper is a hefty publication - it's enormous, it's perfect bound, and although we thought the reviews sections in the early days of the battle between Select,Vox and Q to be the most comprehensive had got out of hand, we never saw anything like the hundred pages of album ratings Skyscraper has to offer. And if it's weighty in its ambitions, it's even weightier in its desire to treat music as a serious matter. Very, very seriously. Franz Ferdinand are told they're not going to be treated in the same way as all the other American papers have treated them. And then The Chinese Stars are asked sternly if they take music seriously. Nervously, they say they do, only to be upbraided: "Well, why nipple rubs on website pictures? Why the all-denim (even shirtless denim) concert uniforms?" Presumably The Ramones would have got extremely short shrift from the magazine - not just uniforms, but silly names too.

Still, putting the music at the centre can draw out some interesting perspectives. Nic from !!! reveals the band's masterplan: "a journalist once said to me that when British and American music separated in the 90s it got boring and he was determined to bring them back together. Bands like the Rapture may be into that, but we've been more about bringing black and white music back together."

The Robot Ate Me's Richard Bouchard also lets something slip: "off the record, a lot of On Vaction Part II was basically making fun of [The Postal Service's Give Up] album.

You can't be sure if the prediction in My Back Pages, Denver's Twist and Shout record's own regular pop paper, that this coming year might be Denver's year, is as much hope than certainty, but with Czars, Sixteen Horsepower and Love .45 lining up, they could just be right.

A few miles north, and Fort Collins residents are able to enjoy a new freebie music paper, The Front. It's astonishing how many music papers (often free) even quite small towns are able to support in the US; and it's a pity that there isn't a similar range of publications in the UK. Mainly it seems to be a lack of advertising support which does for the titles which do try - but its not clear if British mags are just rubbish at selling ad space, or if British advertisers are more reluctant to take space.

Anyway, The Front considers the work of Marilyn Manson, suggesting he's always managed to keep the faith of gothy-esque because he's never been "too well done or too polished", which is just wrong: the only thing more polished than Manson's over-done PVC is the production sheen on his records.

Glossy Losing Today has reached issue five, albeit after a hiatus of three years. There is a promise of another edition in November 2004, but we saw no evidence of that. It comes with a CD and, yes, it's named after a Slowdive song.

Valerie Trebeljahr from Lali Puna suggests in passing that the problem with Riot Grrl was "the term was commercialized", which seems a little extreme: can any genre which hasn't generated a "Best... Album in the World Ever." Valerie's first album was Sade's Diamond Life. Thank god she discovered Stereolab.

In the Fierce Panda piece, Simon Williams confesses he turned Elbow down on the basis that they had a crap name.

It's while we're reading Kazu from Blonde Redhead talking about how they've signed to 4AD that we suddenly realised something: more and more American bands are (like Scissor Sisters) signing their primary deals with British labels, and yet American magazines are writing about more and more British music - three quarters of the live reviews in Losing Today are of gigs in Britain; there's also a lot of fairly obscure Brits like Fiel Garvie interviewed. We don't know quite what it means, though. Perhaps we're just swapping.

Maximum Rock and Roll readers are angry. Not because of Iraq, or even Bush winning again. No, what's pissing off Karl Bakla is "punk guys dating Abercrombie and Fitch chicks." So, we're not quite in the realm of open-minded punks yet, then.

The magazine itself has more important things to worry about: Javier Couso Permuy of Sin Dios files a report from a visit to Iraq, the primary purpose of which is to pay homage to Jose Couso, the journalist assasinated by the US military during the war. Not the sort of thing we expect to see in Heat any time soon.

Back with music, and MRR has got news of what Thee Headcoatees are doing now that Billy Childish has made them obsolete: Kyra Rubella and Bongo Debbie Green are now trading as the A-Lines, producing "Lasy Punk" and singing sometimes in Flemish.

Resonance also delivers its music with a political stance, although it allows Kathleen Hanna to get away with her usual slightly vague "whatever you do is fine" approach: "Isn't every person on the planet political in one way or another" she says. No, Kathleen, a lot of them aren't. That's the problem. Johanna tries to make some sense of the claim, offering that "status quo politics are invisible", which is bollocks. The work done to maintain the status quo - the central banks, the courts, the G8, trade agreements - is anything but invisible. Thats kind of why it's so difficult to shift.

And, still hanging about in the corners of some Borders was the November Wired, the one which came with a free CD to demonstrate the wonders of Creative Commons licences. They don't ask the Beastie Boys - who offer a lot of support for the rip and mess approach - how it is they managed to let their music come out on copy protected CDs in Europe, which is a bit of a missed opportunity.

But they do strike gold with an interview with former RIAA head Hilary Rosen. First, she reveals just how weak the music industry's grasp of the issues actually are (again). Defending the plea for copyright extension, she bristles "farmers can leave their property to their children, why shouldn't songwriters be able to leave their songs to their children?" But they can, Hilary. Some day, the Beckham kids will inherit Beckingham Palace; some day, Rufus Wainwright will be able to take his fan Mia Farrow back to Loudon's old place. What farmers kids can't do, though, is go to the baker's kids and demand money for the corn their dad delivered to them in 1903.

Then, though, Rosen does make an astonishing admission: the RIAA legal campaign against illegal downloaders has lead to "a chilling effect on other, legitimate users [of P2P networks]. Many musicians and consumers fear using pieces of other's songs, even for non-commercial purposes." In other words, the "educative" aspect of the RIAA war on its own consumers has totally failed. It hasn't stopped people who are downloading; it's just scared off people from actually using music in ways they've always been able to. Brilliant work, gang.

And finally: we don't have anything to bring you from the Improper Bostonian. We just really like the name.

AAAH...: We'd been wondering why there'd be so much twittering about Brian McFadden being "in love" with Delta Goodrem recently - and now all becomes clear. The pair are about to release a duet, and clearly - with neither of them exactly interesting the British public - this is a bid to try and spice up the single's chances. We wonder if the label has thought of putting little "They might have done it" labels on the CD cases?

If this single doesn't work, it could be bye bye Brian as far as his contract is concerned (and, probably, the same is true of Delta's chances). But Brian knows why he's not yet achieved the dizzying, mistifying levels of success of Ronan Keating:

"It's been hard and the split with Kerry has not been good for my career."

That's it! Being in every half-witted tabloid and gossipmag solidly for a year really will have harmed your sales. Unless you think that, perhaps, the British public rate new releases on the basis of the singer's morality? You don't think that, perhaps, releasing pisspoor tracks might have been worse than the way you treated your ex-wife when it came to selling records?

ANOTHER CELEB HITCHING: After a two-year engagement (which is longer than most pop stars' marriages) Nas and Kelis have got officially married. To each other. Kelis had to scrap some London dates in order to attend her own wedding, which suggests someone either has trouble with her Outlook Calendar or it might have been a bit last minute.