THE SAME OLD TEARS ON A NEW BACKGROUND
For the second time in two years, Art Garfunkel has been stopped by police with dope in his car.
Apparently if they catch him three times, the police get to keep the car.
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For the second time in two years, Art Garfunkel has been stopped by police with dope in his car.
Apparently if they catch him three times, the police get to keep the car.
Were you planning to go and see Adam Green next month? Well, you can't, tough - he's busy in the studio and so he's putting off doing the tour until March:
“Unfortunately I have been touring constantly this year and have not been able to get in the studio to finish my new album. The decision to postpone these dates was not taken lightly, I just realized if I was to do these dates I would never get the album finished in time for its scheduled release in March next year. I hope you can understand the predicament I was in.”
Over-extended, eh? Like Garbage. We reckon he's about to split.
Apparently a whole bunch of Creative Zen players have shipped with, somehow a W32.Wullik.B@mm worm tucked inside them. Of course, if you have a half-decent virus scanner on your PC, it'll catch the worm before it can do any damage, and delete it. This would, though, imply that Creative don't have a half-decent virus scanner anywhere on their system.
Our ears perked up when we heard Kelly Clarkson muttering about Hilary Duff:
"I want to be the new one. Two Texas girls go at it. And maybe throw in Beyonce. That's three Texas girls."
For a moment, we thought Clarkson was proposing the sort of thing that the government are rushing to ban from the internet. Then we realised she was just talking about wars of words:
"I'm going to start a fight. Me and Hilary Duff. Isn't she always in the news for being in fights with some other chick?"
Clarkson hasn't got this fighting thing off, has she? You don't just go up to someone and have a fight with them. Unless you drink in one of those single-storey, brick-built pubs on the edge of 1970s housing estates - you have to say something provocative about the other person, Kelly. Something interesting. Something to capture the attention.
Maybe your manager can help you with the being interesting thing.
It's funny the number of people who suddenly realise they don't have time for a pop career, erm, just after they release a single into a world that responds 'face-bovvered'. Having said which, we are kind of sorry that Tyra Banks is dumping plans for an album after not selling any copies of her Shake Ya Body single ("after not being able to find the time.") We had a soft spot for that track when it kept cropping up on America's Next Top Model. And, somehow, we find it easier to believe that Tyra is too busy with other things than we did with, say, Jennifer Ellison...
anice Dickinson is unlikely to be recording an album to take up the slack.
Copyright battles over films and TV shows are only on our patch at a tangent, but we think it's worth mentioning these comments from the MPAA's director of worldwide anti-piracy, justifying the heavy-handed use of the law to close down Bittorrent sites:
"Internet thievery of all creative materials is unacceptable and these thieves need to realize they are not anonymous," said John G Malcolm, the MPAA's director of worldwide anti-piracy.
"Every television series depends on other markets - syndication, international sales - to earn back the enormous investment required to produce the comedies and dramas we all enjoy and those markets are substantially hurt when that content is stolen.
"On this site, anyone in the world can download entire television seasons in a single click."
According to a recent report, TV piracy leapt last year as fans of TV shows - particularly American programmes - downloaded episodes before they were show on television.
The Envisional survey said Britain led the world in online TV piracy, accounting for a fifth of illegal downloads, compared with 7% in America and just 2% in Spain.
The curious might raise an eyebrow that the level of downloads is so high in the UK. Is that because we're more evil in the UK when it comes to TV shows? No, not really - the reason why the British download three times as much TV as the Americans is because there's less encouragement for the US to download stuff, as the big download draws like ER, 24 and Lost get shown there first. Nobody would bother piddling about watching Lost on the computer if they didn't have to wait so long for the programmes to make it to British screens. You could reduce TV show piracy at a stroke by bringing programmes online simultaneously both sides of the Atlantic.
But since that's not happening, the fact the MPAA are going to law must mean they're losing a small fortune - all of those downloaders are taking international sales from the TV companies, right?
Erm... in which case, how Sky TV boss James Baker is complaining that the cost of US imports is now so high in Britain - the leading nation for downloaded TV, remember - that it's probably going to be cheaper for it to make its own programmes instead of buying them in?
Disappointingly, there are people wearing official uniforms and holding clipboards rushing to deny that Kylie is coming back at the Commonwealth Games. They're not just upset for her, at these rumours, of course, but they're thinking of the fans:
"Once the doctors give Kylie the 'all clear', her first priority will be to bring the Showgirl tour to Australian fans as promised," said her manager Terry Blamey.
"Making up stories about her performing elsewhere shows scant regard for the feelings of those fans as much as for the truth."
Can you imagine how those fans are feeling right now? Not to mention the truth? Do you people know what a violated person looks like?
Luckily, Kylie fans have, for years, been carefully preparing themselves to be protected from this kind of brutal intrusion, as this file photo shows:
We're loving the theory that's growing that the person who shot Suge Knight was... Suge Knight. We suspect that a wisecracking rabbit may have got hold of his gun and bent the barrel right round, so that when Suge pulled the trigger, the bullet boomeranged back round at him. We asked our resident ballistics expert if this was possible, and he shrugged and said that he'd seen it happen to stuttering pigs when they were out hunting as well, so why the hell shouldn't it?
Another possiblity is that Suge is a bit clumsy and really shouldn't be trusted with a gun.
Since there's already a confusing number of charts knocking about (is the Hit40 the old Pepsi chart? What's the Smash Hits chart when it's at home?) causing confusion and failing to make even a gentle dent in the perception that - even with JK and Joel at the helm - the Radio One chart is the chart, the obvious response would be to look for some other idea to stimulate radio stations.
Obvious, perhaps, but way too dangerous, so we're going to see not one but two new charts.
First up, Heart and the Real Radio network are going to be showcasing something called The AC chart. Presented by Melanie Sykes.
And, erm, Nick Snaith. (Not just us, then.) Apparently this chart is going to somehow mix album sales, DVD sales (presumably only music DVDs, otherwise Frodo Baggins will be number one some weeks), airplay and singles. In other words, it'll be such a hotch-potch, practically anyone they want to be number one could be.
Meanwhile, the Fresh 40 is being boiled up from the makers of the Hit40UK (yes, that was the Nescafe Network chart); it's going to "focus on R&B, hip-hop and dance" because, of course, artists like Usher, Mariah Carey and Black Eyed Peas don't stand a chance of getting into the mainstream Top 40; this is a great opportunity to let these under-known artists have a chart where they can thrive.
Even before the Sun was reporting that Pete Doherty had got into yoga, his search for peace and serenity had ended when he louted up to Johnny Borrell and set about him at the Leeds Festival:
A festival source told NME.COM: “We’ve been told that Pete Doherty did in fact have a disagreement with Razorlight. Rumour is that Doherty walked into the band’s dressing room last night after both bands had played and in an unprovoked attack headbutted Johnny Borrell. Johnny put Doherty on the floor and left the dressing room, at which point festival security escorted Doherty from the dressing room and back to his bus."
It just shows how badly drugs screw you up if you get bested by a stick like Borrell.
Meanwhile, also at Leeds, a tradition was revived as the festival ended with people setting fires and having mini-riots - "sporadic outbreaks of low-level disorder", in the official police words - before going home. A number of arrests were made, mainly for assault, and the scenes weren't as bad as the battles and bonfires that marred the festival during its unhappy time at Temple Newsham.
After his flirtation with computer games last week, Gennaro is back on the music watch - and talking about his own employer, as well. He's had to lay down his Play Station Plus in order to deny that HMV has missed its chance by leaving it until this week to introduce digital downloads to its website:
Gennaro Castaldo, HMV's head of press, denied the music store was late in jumping on the music download bandwagon.
"It's the first time that major players in the UK are launching their own sites - iTunes was the initial catalyst, the fact that we are now launching is the next stage in taking music to the mainstream. The timing is just right," he said.
A potential problem with the service is that it will not be compatible with iPods. Mr Castaldo said: "That's a choice made by Apple and it's one that we regret. Although the iPod is iconic, from a functional point of view, alternative products are just as good.''
He added: "The iPod is a desirable device, but it is fashion-led and fashion tends to move on."
Yes, like the fashion for shopping at record shops, eh, Gennaro? We're obviously a big fan of Gennaro, but we can't let him get away with these - the idea that digital downloads aren't "mainstream" yet in the UK when the bloody Daily Telegraph are flogging them; and Gen-Gen seems to misunderstand what the word catalyst means - it's something which speeds up a reaction, and HMV's slow lumber towards the inevitable hasn't been marked out by anything approaching speed at all.
Oh... and there's absolutely nothing stopping HMV selling downloads which work on iPods - any one of the devices will happily play any MP3 file. It would actually be HMV's choice to only sell hobbled downloads which makes them incompatable, surely?
Virgin Megastores are also launching (or, we suspect, relaunching) their download services this week.
Whatever happened to MyCokeMusic, eh?
We're not quite sure we can make head or tail of this one, but we'll try - Jamie Lynn Spears (the one who now carries the hope of the family that they might rise above the static caravan park level) is appearing in a programme called Zoey 101.
Also on the show is someone called Alexa Nikolas, who apparently has been having a long-running beef with Jamie Lynn.
Now, depending on who you talk to, Jamie Lynn's famous sister decided to get involved, and either stormed down to the Zoey 101 set and ripped strips off Nikolas, or else Britney Spears popped down to the studios and had a nice chat with Alexa.
It's nice that Britney feels like she wants to stick up for her sister, but... haven't we learned anything from Grange Hill? You have to leave the younger siblings to make their own mistakes, Britney...
We have to tip our hat to Fluxblog's MTV play-by-play awards recap. They watch, so nobody else has to:
8:50 Shakira is here to lip synch in Spanish and slink around. With the damaged hair and leathery skin, she's looking a bit like Sheryl Crow. It seems as though she's threatening to shake her pants right off.
See? There's a lot more to blogging than reviews of Krispy Kreme's doughnut of the month. Sometimes.
Well, at least she didn't flee and head off to live in a hutch somewhere: Mindy McCready is banged up tonight; arrested on a warrant issued for probation violations. It's likely she'll have to spend a little longer inside when her case is heard.
Last week's NME (or, rather, what will be the week before last's when the new one comes out on Wednesday) came with a CD put together by "Oasis", but at least the Noel turned up to offer some pithy insights - "usually I don't condone this kind of music [it's Jet, by the way] but they've become our new best friends..."
Hang about Noel - in what way, exactly, do you normally stand against dumbly grandstanding retro heartless pomp poured out by a pair of brothers? They're you, you moron.
But he gets even more deluded when he reaches the Oasis track on the album: It's My Generation. A song which he really believes "we've kind of made it our own, now."
What did surprise us is that Goldie Lookin' Chain are still going. Apparently they can "crack up even the most cynical listener with a killer one liner", reckons Barry Nicholson. Let's try that - here's a line from their new song 'Sister':
"If you leave me now/can I fuck your sister and your best friend?"
Yes, you'd have to be astonishingly cynical to hear that line and sigh heavily, roll your eyes and mutter that you yearn for the days when comedy rap at least got as amusing as Rat Rappin'.
The reviews team were able to catch Eminem at New York, shortly before he sung himself to sleep, and maybe GLC don't seem to be so bad after all. April Long got to see Em's little bit of business where he mentions the tabloids are saying Kevin Federline will be the new Eminem, before - oh, my sides - snorting "Kevin Faggotline."
TOTW for week was Kaiser Chief's I Predict A Riot, which just seems odd, but at least Pete Cashmore found the time to point out that Oasis had taken a bunch of cash in order to help promote Sky Sports - "what does this sound like? Who cares?"
What is quite exciting is that the NME has quietly announced that it's going to be offering free small ads soon - the music mags have badly needed one of these since the demise of Select and Sky; and a good few years back - before the internet, when the small ads were bubbling - we made a load of interesting friends through the NME classifieds column, so we'd love to see its spirit return.
This month's Observer Music Monthly gave the cover to 50 'simply not very good' Cent sucking a lollipop. Centy bangs on over the same old ground - why has he got a stupid car that would be too big if he was farmer? Because that's what success is like - "it drives by on four wheels", apparently. See, we'd say that showing off drives by on four wheels, ourselves, and it's that sort of attempt to create ill-will and crush other people's sense of self-worth and it's that sort of behaviour - grinding other people's faces into their poverty - that creates many of the sort of problems that Cent claims to deplore. But the man's got a biography to sell, and that sort of self-questioning seems to be simply beyond him.
OMM throws together a list of the top 10 musical dynasties - the Shankars at number one edge out the Cash/Carter clan, which would seem to be misordering; and the Osbournes are in the chart at all - why? On the strength of the seven records Kelly sold, probably to herself? The blurb explaining the Ozz Family's entry makes no sense, either: "Kids Kelly and Jack seem almost well-adjusted [eh?] and thank heaven Kelly prefers singing Like A Virgin to War Pigs." Except, of course, Kelly complained that she hated singing pop songs, albeit by way of explaining the stiffing of the first album.
The Record Doctor goes to see Michelle 'sounds like she should be in Liberty X but actually used to be in Eastenders' Ryan: she does make history by becoming the first person to say in print that she "really doesn't like MIA".
For a photoshoot, Jamie Cullum wades out into the middle of a river, and puts his head under the water. No, nothing bad happens, but let's not spoil the moment, shall we? Cullum is worried about the dangers of a backlash: "I don't want to do any dodgy videos this time. If there's a backlash, I want it to be against something I have chosen to do." So, if we've got this right, he doesn't mind us hating his stupid scrambling on top of the piano at the drop of a hat, but he doesn't want us to hate him for his smackable face. He'd be relaxed about us screaming 'destroy, destroy' whenever we think of what he did to The Love Cats, but doesn't want to be despised from here unto the seventh sign because his people got him to do Everlasting Love for Bridget Jones II. That seems fair enough.
Kitty Empire's flash-forward band is CocoRosie, which is effectively if Charmed was a band, and played folk, and weren't vapid.
Paul Morley turns up with a long piece about rock biopics so he's been let off doing the TV review column, which is a pity as we'd been quite looking forward to him having a go at the BBC FOUR Britpop night. And Peter Robinson only gets a half page, which is all wrong.
In the back, Simon Amstell quizes Ricky Wilson - which seems like cheating as usually this page is for a pop star to ask questions of a pop star; Surely Amstell can ask Ricky these questions on his TV show if need be? We do have a soft spot for Amstell, though - if his byline picture was slightly more faded it'd seem like an interview done by a kid who went missing in the mid-70s whose body was found after a three-day search.
This week's NME pledged "the ONLY interview" with the Pixies, which puzzles us who the "exclusive" interview in the previous weekend's Weekend Guardian was actually with, then. In the Guardian, Joey Santiago tells Laura Barton he was so overwhelmed at the reunion with how much he'd missed being in the band that he now sleeps with his drum; in the NME, Black Francis suggests the best reason to go and see them over the other bands at Reading is "there's always a chance Kim and I will end up fighting." He also picks his best festival memory as playing the Crystal Palace Bowl in 1991; we, of course, had left the park just before the band came on. And we would again, you know; we would again.
Most of the NME is given over to previewing Reading - Leeds, and much more to clearing up after the V festival. There, oddly, Oasis dedicated Rock & Roll star to Barry Bulsara, the man convicted of murdering Jill Dando. You have to wonder what's going on in Noel's head, don't you?
While we're delighted that the NME picked Boy Kill Boy as one of the Reading highlights, it did mean, disappointingly, we found out what they looked like.
reviews
live
!!! - The 100 Club - "let's hope he remains a heathen, as motivational speaking's gain would be our loss"
kubichek! - birmingham acadmey 2 - "the exclamation mark is more than justified"
arctic monkeys - birmingham academy - "blw up the bandwagon, tear up the handbook"
albums
kanye west - late regsitration - "the rest of the rap world is playing catch-up", 8
death cab for cutie - plans - "the non-thinking man's coldplay", 4
goldfrapp - supernature - "the musical know how to sway women, men and Morrisseys alike", 8
tracks
totw - gorillaz - dare - "animal magic"
viva voce - alive with pressure - "formulaic mess of styles"
princess superstar - perfect - "not perfect, but we like her"
jj72 - coming home - "the only voice in rock less soothing than a car alarm"
And finally, Jim McCabe brings Charlotte Church's appearance in Friday's Guardian Review to our attention: "It's interesting in a scattergun sort of way, although I'm surprised that the lawyers OK'd all the quotes. Or did they?"
She does certainly let rip, and - to be honest - we find it so much easier to like her when she says things like "I can't stand Bob Dylan. He sounds like a freak. And that Chris Martin isn't any good either - he can't do any vibrato, which colours a voice, so he just sounds conversational." Now she's in her stride. "Look, I don't mind Coldplay," she continues, getting increasingly animated. "And I know that style of singing is very modern. But it's a bit wimpy and as soon as one person's done it, they're all fuckin' at it. They're trying to sound like Jeff Buckley, but his voice is outstanding and nobody can be compared to that feller." She also admits to having mimed at an outdoor festival the other week, which is at least more honest than you'd expect from, say, former Spice Girls or sisters of not very good actresses.
We're not sure who's underwriting the Babyshambles sideshow these days, but we bet they'll be delighted that the stuff the band didn't succeed in smashing to pieces they threw to the audience at the end of their Reading Festival appearance.
Hint, Pete: The Who used to substitute fake equipment before they started breaking things. Otherwise, it gets pretty expensive.
Elsewhere at Reading/Leeds, The Rakes battled on despite Alan Donohoe being sicklisted off; in Reading they swelled their ranks with Russell and Gordon Bloc Party, Paul from Maximo Park and, um, Danny and Dirk from Sigue Sigue Towers of London. In Leeds, Kele Okereke helped out.
Razorlight gave a sneaky preview of the track they'll be doing for the new Help album - although they'd actually played it at Glastonbury, but that was before it was earmarked for the project. Andy Burrows told the NME that their Reading set would mark the official end of touring for the Up All Night album, too.
Charlotte Hatherley was joined on stage by Graham Coxon, which made her a little wibbly:
“Graham’s brilliant because he just kind of ambles on, pulls a few faces, plays some amazingly crazy wacky guitar, and then ambles off. Haha! It’s so cool. I’m quite a huge Blur fan though, I went to see them when I was 15 and he was my kind of pin up, so in that respect I thought it was really mad. Is he still on my wall now? Yes!"
The crime story seems to be spinning round in the opposite direction from the start of the weekend - apparently, all that theft during the first twenty-four hours marked a less crime-ridden festival:
Melvin Benn, managing director of the Mean Fiddler, organisers of the Reading Festival, said: “We have had a musically fantastic weekend, blessed with glorious sunshine and happy crowds.
“We have also had significant reductions in crime, medical casualties and fires. It’s been a great weekend.”
The police, too, were happy with the way the event went:
Superintendent Steve Kirk said: “Despite the higher numbers of people attending Reading Festival this year I am extremely pleased to say that we have seen a large reduction in crime, with over a quarter fewer victims than in 2004.”
And we now know that Fightstar are tougher than Fifty cent - they were bottled at the start of their set, but refused to be cowed; eventually, the crowd ran out of bottles, which is close enough to "winning them over" as to do for us.
Earlier Reading-Leeds post
Michael Jackson seems to be quite settled in Dubai, where he's staying with the royal family there. We're sure Michael will enjoy his time in the United Arab Emirates, a place where they take a pretty harsh line on what they perceive as sexual deviancy - for example, in December 2004 two women domestic migrant workers were sentenced to flogging because they got pregnant while being unmarried. We know we'd feel comfortable accepting hospitality from the rulers of that sort of place. More Jesus Juice, Michael?
We actually hadn't realised that Ricky Martin had quit music, although if we think about it we guess we hadn't heard that much from him for a while. Not singing wise, anyway. But apparently his music disgusted him - you and us both, Richard:
"I was so tired, so burnt out. I don't know if it was a breakdown, but I probably would have had one if I hadn't stopped that day.
"I was onstage in front of 25,000 people and I wasn't enjoying it. The applause wasn't bringing me a rush. As a matter of fact, it disgusted me. I was completely disorientated. This is what I'd lived for - the applause. It's what inspired me. Suddenly, I was on tour and wasn't happy. It got worse and worse. When I walked onstage I was in a bad mood, I was angry to be there. You can't get much lower than that - being onstage, with the applause of 25,000 people, and having no sense of gratitude."
Well, to be honest, being sat amongst 25,000 people excited to hear someone plod through Livin La Vida Loca would be a bit lower, but carry on:
"Something was wrong. I needed to stop. That day in Sydney, I said, 'This is my last show today.' We were supposed to be going to Argentina and Brazil. I knew it would cost me a lot to cancel, but I didn't care. "A lot of people told me, 'This is your moment. You've sold 50 million records around the world. If you stop now, this is the end of your career. If you stop now you're insane.' I thought, 'I probably am insane which is why I need to stop.'"
Apparently, insanity is something he's happy to be flirting with again, as he's got an album coming out later this year. Watch his eyes closely.
A few days after hoovering Kerrang awards up like there was no tomorrow, Green Day have now done the same thing at the MTV awards, taking seven prizes home with them, although we're not sure quite "best editing in a pop video" is either that much of a coveted title, nor a reflection of their talent.
Kelly Clarkson - who has been squawking like a parrot that's been over-exposed to mid-period Cher since she won American Idol - continued to receive validation from television with best female and best pop videos. Gorillaz picked up a pair of gongs - one for Best Special Effects (clue, guys: it's a cartoon). Those winners, then, in full:
Video Of The Year
Green Day, "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
Best Male Video
Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"
Best Female Video
Kelly Clarkson, "Since U Been Gone"
Best Rock Video
Green Day, "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
Best R&B Video
Alicia Keys, "Karma"
Best Dance Video
Missy Elliott with Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
Best Rap Video
Ludacris, "Number One Spot"
MTV2 Award
Fall Out Boy, "Sugar, We're Going Down"
Best Hip-Hop Video
Missy Elliott with Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
Best Special Effects In A Video
Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc."
Best Pop Video
Kelly Clarkson, "Since U Been Gone"
Best Group Video
Green Day, "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
Best Choreography In A Video
Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl"
Best Art Direction In A Video
Gwen Stefani, "What You Waiting For?"
Best Editing In A Video
Green Day, "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
Best New Artist In A Video
The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"
Best Cinematography In A Video
Green Day, "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
Breakthrough Video
Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc."
Good grief, there's hopeful and there's hopeful - according to the Mirror, Steven Johnson has demanded three million quid from Charlotte Church, or he'll publish his book about the sex they had together.
Curious... to think it would be worth that kind of money to keep out the public eye, there'd have to be some pretty haircurling things in there - unlikely she'd have let someone as homely looking as him get too wild with the experimentation.
Unless he's making stuff up, of course, but then the large cash payout would be flowing in the opposite direction. We just wonder if he really can't be arsed to write the book and saw this as a quick way out.
In what could be a simultaneous comeback and retirement show, apparently Kylie Minogue is being lined up for the 2006 Commonwealth Games. Singing at one of the ceremonies, like, she's not going to be pole vaulting or nothing.
The LA Times gives op-ed space to the campaign of suing people filesharing on the web, as Hollywood starts to pile in to the action, and appears to be concluding that it's not that bright a thing to do:
As an educational tool, this type of lawsuit leaves something to be desired. Only a fraction of the people sharing songs and movies online illegally are sued, dulling the deterrent effect. At the same time, because so many claims have been filed (more than 13,000 by the movie and music industries since September 2003), they no longer attract much attention. Another problem is that studios and labels do not know the identity of a defendant when they start pressing a claim; the lawsuit eventually lands on the person whose Internet account was linked to pirated files. As a result, defendants have included such crowd-pleasers as a 12-year-old girl, several grandparents and at least one dead person.
The resulting publicity hasn't garnered much sympathy for the labels or their cause. And critics of the lawsuits are right to argue that such actions aren't a long-term solution to the rampant piracy that the Internet enables. (Their argument that content providers are abusing copyright law to prevent fair use is a harder case to make, but worth hearing.)
Entertainment companies need to find more effective ways to boost respect for copyrights while embracing the new technology to satisfy demand.
So, the LAT is going to call for an end to the lawsuits, right? Because who would encourage a friend to carry on with such a foolish course of action?
Hang on a moment.
Nevertheless, there are a couple of important principles that the lawsuits advance, however fitfully.
First, they show that the right way to protect copyrights is to focus on people who are violating them, not on the public at large. By contrast, some of the major record companies are also trying to combat piracy by switching to CD technology that resists copying even for legal purposes. This approach forces restrictions on all CD buyers in the name of stopping abuses by an unknown fraction of music fans.
Well, that's not as crazy as it might seem - but it's not like the record labels are giving us a choice "support the legal actions, or we'll introduce copy protection"; the industry is breaking CDs at the same time. And it's arguable they'd be doing that even if the legal action was showing any sign at all of working.
Second, the suits drive home the point that paying $40 a month for high-speed Internet access does not entitle users to free copies of everything they might want. Unfortunately, that point is still lost on many people, especially young people. Numerous defendants have been parents who either ignored or tolerated what their kids were doing on file-sharing networks, only to find themselves paying a premium for the hundreds of bootlegged songs stored on a family computer. (The labels typically demand $3,750 to $4,500 to settle a case, although copyright law allows them to seek up to $150,000 per illegal copy.)
Now, we'd have been hoping here to at least have seen some sort of blink from the paper at that - USD150,000 for a single track? But leaving that aside, we're surprised that the LA Times is massaging the role of parents in these cases from being ignorant of what their kids were doing, to knowing but ignoring it; recasting them from innocent dupes to culpable targets.
Clearly, these lawsuits inflict some collateral damage, not just on the industry but on notions of fair play and the law. When huge media conglomerates sue thousands of individual Internet users, they fuel the argument that copyright law is just a tool for the powerful, not a means to improve society by encouraging creativity and innovation. But like anyone else, the studios are entitled to defend their rights. You can lament how blunt the instrument is, but you can't fault Hollywood for using it.
Erm... but surely if it doesn't work, and harms the industry's standing in people's eyes, isn't that a pretty sound basis for faulting its use?
The LA Times nearly came close to clicking the 'delete' button, but right at the end elected to chicken out and just wave the entertainment industry on, hoping it'll be alright.
There are some things we don't pretend to understand about American politics. Okay, virtually everything about American politics is bemusing to us. For example, we can't quite get a grip on what the beef Republican chairman Tom Wilson has against New Jersey Democrat Jon Corzine's campaign for having a fund raiser with Mya. Perhaps he could explain?
"Those who wish to lead New Jersey should lead by example. By participating in this event, Jon Corzine is endorsing this performer and the profanity laden lyrics she sings..."
What? Murder? Buggering hedgehogs?
"...glorifying..."
What can it be? Murdering hedgehogs and then buggering them?
"...among other things, casual sex."
Casual sex? Is that it? Sex without a long-term commitment? Tom, sweetie, if you think music about sex-without-marriage is the worst thing in the world, you probably don't need to bother buying a CD player.
What does puzzle us, though, is why Tom hasn't got in touch with George W Bush. If we recall correctly, didn't we find out that Bush had (illegally) got a copy of My Sharona on his iPod? Isn't that a profanity-laden song about casual sex, too? Does that make Bush ineligible to lead the country?
We're feeling shocked and a little used. With all these music stories breaking all over the place, where, we wonder, is HMV's Gennaro Castaldo? Off banging on about computer games, that's where; telling The Sun that there will be huge demand for the Play Station Portable. See the insights he has? And he's brought the same level of insight to This Is Money, figuring that if it's something everyone wants, then that might mean it'll sell, too:
Gennaro Castaldo, spokesman for HMV, the PSP was expected to fly off shop shelves on Thursday. He said: 'I think it is an issue of demand being so substantial that the supply just can't hope to meet that in the first day or the first week.'
We can understand that the buzz around the launch of the PSP - we understand, talking to young people, that's it like a Game And Watch, only it won't tell you the time - is leading Gennaro astray, but we won't tolerate this dereliction of duty lightly. Gennaro, we need some insight into the Gwen Steffani story. Something about Garbage splitting. Anything... please?
It's all very well Gwen Stefani getting haughty and fuming when she gets bracketed with Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff, and she can fume all she wants about how she's been "in this business 18 years", but perhaps the reason why people assume she's making rip and pod music for the fashionista teenage market is, erm, because she's surrounded herself with a retinue of fashionista teens to applaud her every move.
You know what? We reckon we can imagine Mel B writing her sitcom. And we can really imagine her thinking "blimey, this is every bit as good as Sex And The City. And we can imagine watching it. And we can imagine thinking "good grief, this is as poor as Babes In The Wood. Only without even Samantha Janus."
We'd been wondering who David McKenzie was going to cast in his soon-coming Nico biopic:
Okay, there was time when we thought that BDP's calls to stop the violence in hip-hop was a noble cause, but as Suge Knight gets shot in the leg at a Kanye West party we're starting to think it might be easier to adopt a policy of encouraging violence in hip-hop until they've all shot themselves into early graves, and then we can start again with people more interested in music than guns and gaudy costume jewellery.
The party was part of the MTV Awards hystrionics. Knight was shot in the leg, and in the VIP section, generating a mini-panic. He's in hospital, being described as in "good condition", although it's too early to say if he'll still qualify for his seventy thousand dollar goody bag if he doesn't show at the awards themselves.
Polcie are investigating a theory the shooting was called for by Pat Robertson.
We can't figure out how it is that a reliable part of the Murdoch empire could have found itself having to run a grovelling apology to Justin Timberlake, having been taken in by a "model" who made up the stories about being his lover in order to get cash from the paper. Still, we bet the paper will be taking much more care in future, and not, for example, ending the apology with an open-ended, desperate sounding plea for anyone to turn up with any story they like, and slapping a great banner advert on that virtually screams "Come on, we'll shower you in cash for even a semi-plausible story", won't they?
And, for those of you who collect these things, here's that apology in full:
Apology:
Justin Timberlake
ON 18 July 2004 we published a piece entitled "Bad news for Cameron as model reveals lover's secret fling".
The article alleged that Mr Timberlake had had a secret fling with model Lucy Clarkson behind the back of his girlfriend, Cameron Diaz.
Justin Timberlake insisted that he had never even met or spoken with Miss Clarkson and was deeply offended by the allegations.
We now accept that the allegations were untrue and that he had not had an affair or fling with Lucy Clarkson. Miss Clarkson, who sold her story, accepts that she lied to us and has never met or spoken to Justin Timberlake.
We are happy to correct the position and both we and Lucy Clarkson apologise to Justin Timberlake for the distress and embarrassment we caused him.
We and Ms Clarkson have agreed to pay him a substantial sum which he has said he will donate to a charity of his choice.
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