Saturday, November 07, 2015

There's a new Coldplay album, everyone

At first, I assumed this from the BBC website was an early review of A Head Full Of Dreams:

- but then I realised that there's going to be a lot more boring songs on the album than that.

There was a useful capsule review on Twitter, though:

Horrifying as this news is, it makes a bit of sense and you can't help wishing that maybe Coldplay and Oasis had merged back in the early days of the century, so we could have concentrated on avoiding just one lumbering beast.

Could the prospect be made any less appealing, though, than this hooking up of Gallagher with Coldplay? Oh, yes. Yes, it can:
Coldplay have explained how Guns N' Roses influenced their new track 'Adventure Of A Lifetime'.
Now, you're probably thinking what I did - "presumably like Guns N Roses they realised they'd reached the end of what their basic talents would allow, and decided to try and disguise it with overblown pomposity?" - but that's not quite it:
Martin continued: "I’d been begging Jonny [Buckland] our guitarist for years to make a riff that I like as much as 'Sweet Child O' Mine' by Guns N' Roses, then he showed me that one, and I was like, 'That's it!' So those elements all came together, and we just wanted to kind of embrace our love of joyful music and sort of let it free."
"Why don't you write something I like as much as Sweet Child O' Mine" shows a surprising level of self-awareness on Martin's part, assuming that he realises he's admitting that nothing Coldplay have yet recorded is as good as that. (To be fair, he could also ask Buckland why he doesn't do something as good as Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs for the same reason.)

So, a bright new Coldplay album out at the start of December. Start practising your "oh, this gift is just what I wanted" faces, gang.


Punkobit: Brandon Carlisle

Brandon Carlisle, drummer with Teenage Bottlerocket, has died.

His twin and co-Bottlerocket Ray Carlisle announced on Facebook:

With a heavy heart I regret to inform everyone that my twin brother Brandon Carlisle didn't make it. This is the saddest day of my life. I'm having a difficult time accepting the reality of all of this. We lost Brandon. I don't even know what to write. I feel so sad. I'm going to come up with something better to say when I'm more collected. I will let everyone know when and where the funeral will be. The amount of support Brandon has gotten during the last 72 hours has been crazy! Thank you to everyone for the kind words and prayers for my brother and for my family. So many good vibes were sent our way and it really helped all of us through everything. I can't stop crying.
Brandon had been found in a coma by his roommate on Tuesday; a crowdsourced medical bills page had been established.

Teenage Bottlerocket formed in Laramie, Wyoming in 2001. Ray recalled the band's early days in an interview with Vanyaland earlier this year:
My brother Brandon and I were in a band called Homeless Wonders and we started out sort of sounding like Screeching Weasel, then we got into ska music so we were writing songs that sounded like Less Than Jake and Slapstick and when the band broke up we were doing something in the veil of Fugazi and At The Drive-In. We sort of saw the scene follow that and we got mixed up as far as writing music was concerned because we were mixed up thinking that showing off how good you were at your instrument and using words in your lyrics that people didn’t understand. A lot of things started to be prevalent in the scene and we thought it was OK to that too.

When we started Teenage Bottlerocket, we were just like “Screw that, we’re gonna wear leather jackets, we’re putting our Chuck Taylors back on and we’re writing songs that are meaningful to us and it’s gonna sound like this.” We stuck to a three chord format and since it was a new band at the time we knew we had the opportunity to sound like whatever the hell we wanted to sound like. Especially in Colorado and Wyoming, we came out in a time where people we like “Oh my god, you guys sound like that, what’s this?”. The older people like Chad Price in All and our friends in The Nobodys down in Colorado Springs, they all paid attention right away. They were all like “Holy crap, we really love this new 7″, this new band you have is sensational.” A lot of those older guys encouraged us to keep on going and it meant the world to us that people like Chad Price liked our band. Like you said, I think Teenage Bottlerocket came across at a time where whole Ramones three chord thing was done. That kind of helps inspire the songs as well.
The band has released six albums and toured with NOFX and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. They were also part of last year's Warped Tour - something that the earlier version of the band might have raised a surprised eyebrow at.

Brandon had another band, That Guy, for whom he sang.


Friday, November 06, 2015

Downloadable:Ash

The lovely Ash boys are currently offering one of those tracks-for-emails deals whereby you drop off an email, and they give you a small acoustic collection from their new album.


Monday, November 02, 2015

Stone Roses drag out new announcement like they dragged out that second album

Mysterious (not that mysterious) posters have appeared around Manchester, causing Stone Roses fans to forget how bad Ian Brown's voice is live all over again. Look-In ("NME") reports:

Fans of The Stone Roses are speculating this morning about activity from the band after a series of posters carrying the band's lemon logo appeared around Manchester.

Images of the lemon, which has appeared on the band's posters and album artwork in the past, have appeared around Manchester with sightings confirmed at Close barber's shop on Greater Ancoats Street and the Vinyl Revival record store on Hilton Street.

Eagle eyed fans have spotted that there are 16 lemons on each poster and are speculating that this means an announcement about 2016 is imminent.
Well, yes. Of course it's going to be about 2016, unless they're going to haul ass in a very non-Stone Roses way.
The posters appear in several shops in the Northern Quarter area of the city. One shop keeper told Manchester Evening News that he had been "sworn to secrecy about an announcement due in the next 24 hours".
Telling the MEN that there's an announcement coming in 24 hours isn't really suggesting you've got the hang of this "sworn to secrecy" business.

Of course, last time round, it was Gordon Smart who got most excited. Is he excited now?
Gordon Smart, editor of the Scottish Sun, has also speculated that two gigs at Manchester City's Etihad Stadium could be in the pipeline. "I've felt a disturbance in the force @thestonerosesofficial blue seats, two nights, baggy jeans and a beanie hat...", he wrote on Instagram.
So two nights at Man City's ground, then? That's probably ruined all the speculation, hasn't it?


Sunday, November 01, 2015

Touting is okay if you're a business, right?

The business of "secondary ticketing" - which might look like touting to you or I, except it's done by men in suits sitting in offices rather than shady looking blokes outside stations bellowing "One Direction BIIIIII OR SELLLL" - is being investigated by the government right now.

The Line of Best Fit has everything you need to know, including the depressing likely outcome:

Unfortunately, it looks like a lot of major businesses and MPs are already attempting to sweep the consulation under the carpet, thus removing the public's right to share their opinion. Sajid Javid - the UK's Business Secretary, no less - even describes touts as "classic entrepreneurs".
Philip Davies is also expressing his opinions:
He says of secondary ticketing regulations: "Needless intervention is not the answer and will only serve to drive many consumers away from safe online platforms and into the arms of street touts."
Davies, you might remember, is the hooting arse-arrangement who most recently filibustered to stop carers being able to park free at hospitals, so it's perhaps unsurprising that someone incapable of compassion is going to bring much to the table in the way of common sense.

TLOBF also report on another shady bit of activity:
StubHub is also resorting to unscrupulous practices. They've created Fan Freedom UK to lobby for further reforms - and, apparently, "analysis of their Twitter shows that over 90% of their followers are fake".
Now, Fan Freedom started out as US thing - hilariously, they've allowed their domain name to lapse in the last couple of days, but archive.org has a grab, and they're still active on Facebook. They have a discussion policy which includes a ban of spam, which is ironic for an organisation which is basically one huge advert. They have a Change.org petition, which - while acknowledging their origins as floating on a sea of StubHub cash, starts by enthusing over their supporters:
Fan Freedom is supported by more than 150,000 live event fans, and is backed by leading consumer and business organizations such as the American Conservative Union, National Consumers League, Consumer Action, the Institute for Liberty, and the League of Fans.
Yes, that's right. Almost as if they forgot the whole "we're the voice of the fans" schtick, they start their list of supporters with a right-wing lobbying organisation.

What of the British cousin? They actually have managed to keep control of their own website, so that's a plus.
Fan Freedom UK is an organisation dedicated to fighting for the consumer rights of fans, specifically around ticketing issues. As part of this, we represent all kinds of people who enjoy live entertainment – from fans who sit in the rain week in and week out to watch their team, to music fans who stay out until the early hours to enjoy the bands they love.
From the fans who get up in the middle of the night to check their money is still there, to the fans who spend a lot of time talking to accountants and lobbyists to protect the money they love.

Like their American model, though, they don't do very much to hide the fact that they're actually a bunch of lobbyists - there's a proud "supported by Parliament Street" banner on their site, and Parliament Street are a swivel-eyed right-wing thinky tank:
We are a think tank rooted in the values of freedom. We think beyond the current policy agenda and look towards the debates that are likely to be formed by the next generation in government. We don’t have a corporate view beyond our values.
They're chaired by Craig Rimmer, who, his bio proudly proclaims:
He was Head of Information at Conservative Central Office during William Hague’s leadership.
You'll remember amongst the "information" that came out of the Tory party during what I suppose we could loosely describe as Hague's leadership was the claim that voting for Tony Blair would result in the abandonment of the pound. This was only a marginally less credible claim about losing pounds than those of Marjorie Dawes.

So, somehow, on both sides of the Atlantic, the authentic voice of people who go to gigs seems to be being filtered through extremely well-paid lobbyists, all of whom are hell-bent on right-wing, state-shrinking policies.

If these "voices" get their way, it's not going to make secondary ticketing any better. We're more likely to end up with only secondary agencies being allowed to buy tickets directly. To save us from the touts, of course.

Stop this bollocks from happening by adding your actual voice to the consultation. Don't let right wing thinky tanks steal your front row slot.


This week just gone

The most-read October things:

1. The Mercury Prize shortlist
2. Ugly Kid Joe have returned
3. What the pop papers say: NME bigs Moyles
4. Lauren Mayberry doesn't want your proposals
5. Joe Elliott doesn't like streaming
6. RIP: Carey Lander
7. The iPod is 14
8. RIP: Joe Moss
9. Gene Simmons doesn't like the modern world
10. RIP: Jim Diamond

These were the interesting releases from the Friday before:


Mogwai - Central Belters


Download Central Belters



Julien Baker - Sprained Ankle


Download Sprained Ankle



Various - Liverpool International Festival Of Psychedelia Presents Pyzk




Joanna Newsom - Divers


Download Divers



Tracey Thorn - Solo


Download Solo



Beach House - Thank Your Lucky Stars


Download Thank Your Lucky Stars


Saturday, October 31, 2015

Justin Bieber mops, then mopes

Terrible scenes from Oslo, where a Justin Bieber gig ends early after, um, fans wouldn't let him mop up some water:

Justin Bieber left fans in Oslo disappointed when he stormed off stage after performing just one song, due to a spilled water incident.

After the water was spilt, the singer bent down in an attempt at cleaning it up.

He asked fans to leave him alone, but video shows girls in the front rows filming him and grabbing at his clothes as he tried to mop the water up.
The failure to allow him to demonstrate his mopping skills frustrated wee Justin, who flounced offstage and didn't come back.

Later, he issued a statement via Instagram (Instagram!) where he looked like he might take responsibility for his actions but... well, obviously it was the fault of the people at the front:
Sadly it's Been a rough week for me, long days no sleep, while having to be "on" as they would say for cameras fans etc. In no way did I mean to come across mean, but chose to end the show as the people in the front row would not listen. Hopefully people will understand where I am coming from. I don't always handle things the right way but I'm human and I'm working on getting better at responding not reacting. Unfortunately people were affected by this as am I. For the people in the back I am so sorry and for anyone I may have disappointed im sorry. Sorry for wasting the tv people's time I'll be sure to make it up to you next time on tour.. With love Justin.
Man, all he wanted to do was mop the floor, but people wouldn't let him mop the floor. This might be the first time in history a child has thrown a tantrum because they weren't allowed to clean up their own mess.


Ed Sheeran 2.0

To be honest, if he can work out how not to fall over, George Stephanopoulos (who used to be Big Bird's imaginary friend in Sesame Street) could make a living as an Ed Sheeran tribute act. Or the other way round.


Protecting the cash cows

Lest we forget that most large-scale music enterprises are fundamentally no different from other large businesses, The Guardian explores the world of gig insurance:

The amounts of money at risk can be phenomenal. “For a stadium show, it could be anything up to two million quid,” says Enthoven. But it is not just the income from ticket sales at risk. “For an act like One Direction, they possibly make more money from merchandise than they do for the tickets,” suggests Twomey. So that has to be factored into their policies, which are often taken out at the earliest stages in planning a tour and will only run for as long as the tour lasts. “They are not annual policies, like car insurance, where you rack up year after year of no claims,” says Howell. “It is very specific to the life and health of the individual or the band members that you are insuring.”

A policy is generally worked out as a percentage of what the act will make at the end – typically 1.5%-2%, a figure that has not really changed in decades. “If more acts cancelled shows time after time, the premium rates would go up,” says Phil Middleton, general manager at ATC Management whose artists include Radiohead, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds and Catfish and the Bottlemen.
This suggests, then, that the number of gigs which get pulled is roughly the same as it ever was, even if the value of those cancellations has skyrocketed.

It does make you wonder, though, how the music industry hasn't managed to improve its cancellation rate over the years - it's almost as if they know what breaks musicians, but are prepared to take the risk.

And, of course, if there's ability to insure against your musician breaking, you're going to take a few more risks with them.

You might wonder whose interest the insurance is in.

[Thanks to @zaichishka]


Sunday, October 25, 2015

The iPod turns 14


I love the idea that just possibly Steve Jobs read the post and went "hey, a glorified consumer gimmicks firm... that could just work..."

But that's not all. There's also this tweet in reply to that tweet:

We already had the ability to listen to music all day before the iPod, didn't we? Unless there was some limit to how long you were allowed to have a radio switched on for, or the unspooling of a tape wasn't just a mechanical fault but a government-mandated event designed to cause a gap in music consumption.

I presume that Dick's real beef is that people listen to music with earphones - similar to one of Joe Elliott's moans. But, again, that's not exactly an invention of Apple (although you wouldn't put it past them to try and snaffle a patent on it).


This week just gone

What were you looking for? Some search terms found in our logs:

Amy Winehouse bondage
"carla bruni is being mocked mercilessly across france after having recorded arguably the most dreadful david bowie cover of all time."
whatever happened to fred durst
anmeldung charts bookmark-button fish raised
scores from your barclaycard online account brand verity
ready brek logo
industrial disease solicitors tuebrook
i hate mumford and sons
girl agree for fuck asshole yes or not
fun with grandpa

So remember: that's No Rock and Roll Fun for all your Ready Brek logo needs.





Last week's interesting releases:


Luke Haines - British Nuclear Bunkers


Download British Nuclear Bunkers



Alela Diane & Ryan Francesconi - Cold Moon


Download Cold Moon



!!! - As If


Download As If



Deerhunter - Fading Frontier


Download Fading Frontier



John Cooper Clarke - Anthologia


Download Anthologia



Demi Lovato - Confident


Download Confident


Saturday, October 24, 2015

Joe Elliott doesn't like streaming services

Streaming services, amirite? They're like the work of a demon. A minor demon, perhaps, but a demon nevertheless. Tell us why, Joe:

"I signed up for the Apple one, Beats. It's kind of semi-evil, because whoever owns Spotify is worth more than 50 times than Mick Jagger, who's been in this business for 50 years. And that's just not right.
Mick Jagger, according to The Richest, is worth 360 Million Dollars. So to be worth fifty times that, you would have to be an eighteen-fold billionaire. 18 billion is roughly the GDP of Honduras.

Just to be clear: Daniel Ek is not Honduras. In fact, according to Time, he's worth 300 Million Dollars, which puts him behind Mick Jagger in terms of wealth.

Obviously, the point Joe was trying to make was that it seems absurd that a person who works in the tech industry is worth a lot of money compared with someone who works in the music industry for fifty years.

Although that doesn't make sense generally: it's not like the tech industry away from music is known for being a place where the bosses take home tiny pay packets.

It also doesn't make any sense in this specific case. First of all, it could be possible that Mick Jagger had just invested incredibly badly, or had been generous with his money.

Secondly, although Mick has been in the industry fifty years, Ek's not exactly a newcomer - he started when he was 14, so nearly twenty years, and he made a fortune selling his first advertising business. So it's not like he's built his money up entirely from not making Mick Jagger even richer.

Also: both these people have obscene amounts of money. Even if Daniel Ek was fifty times richer than Jagger, that would mean Jagger had six million dollars. You can buy a bionic man with that.

But you had a point, Joe, to make:
Because when you read stories about Lady Gaga getting 127 dollars for 60 trillion plays, or whatever, you're thinking, this is bullshit.
Well, yes, there were stories five years ago that GaGag got USD127 for a million streams - it's funny that Elliott was spot-on with the amount there, when so many of his other figures are grossly overestimated in favour of his argument, but then I think we all know people in our own jobs who do that.

But why was GaGa doing so poorly out of streaming? Not because of the semi-evil streaming services, but because of the fully evil record labels:
[In] some explosive comments made by Gaga's ex-manager Troy Carter. Carter states that Gaga's label, Universal Music, cheated the artist out of streaming royalties due to her from Spotify and other streaming services during the height of her pop popularity.

Carter, who is no longer handling Gaga's career but is active as a music and technology entrepreneur and investor, said, "We've always gotten screwed from record royalties ... So when you look at it, the live business and the merchandise business have always been the bigger piece of the pie. And with record labels, I think it's more of just chickens coming home to roost. Well, let's rephrase that: labels made a significant amount of money off of Spotify that didn't match up to the artist royalty statements ..."
How evil of Spotify to, erm, not be party to the main point where artists are getting ripped off.

Anything else, Joe? Do you perhaps have an "I can remember when it was all trees round here" argument to offer?
And when you get on Spotify, it's very insular. Which the whole industry has become. Everybody is on headphones now. It's just Zombieland, and we're all guilty of it. I do it too, but only when it's necessary, like on an airplane.
Yes. People listening to music on headphones. In the old days, people used to go to their bedrooms to be insular and listen to music. How can Spotify have ruined that by, erm, inventing headphones or something or... what?


Rob Halford loves a guy in a uniform

Rob Halford just did an interview with OC Weekly where they asked him, effectively, why he fancied squaddies. Like the Prime Minister at PMQs, he felt obligated to start by paying his respects to people in the services:

"Oh my god, this could be a book. There are two sides of this question to me. One of it is based on all of the things people in the military represent, which is the simple fact of keeping us safe in this troubled world. It's also the mindset of the military which has these virtues that mean a lot to me as a person and believing in the cause, in this case a United States Marine, or a Sailor or a Green Beret. There is something very potent and personal and very deep about that conviction, discipline and dedication which I love about their service. That's not just America, but anywhere in the world, really."
Not entirely sure pro-democracy Chinese or anyone else living in a military dictatorship would agree, but that's not really the question's point, is it?

What happens next is almost balletic as Rob trips and turns and jumps and skips to do the second half of his answer. As you read this, remember that all he actually is trying to say is "I have a type":
'm going to stop there, and go into a completely different direction and tell you that as a gay man, the United States Marine Corps has been very attractive to me. There is something very sensual about that branch of the military and ... this is great because I don't really know where my mind is going.

The fact that there are now gay men and women who can openly serve their country is a wonderful thing.

I think the Marine Corps also has a sense of masculinity. There was a U.S. president that said something about the USMC that really encapsulated these types of guys. I can't remember what it was. I think it's also possible it has to do with my own struggles as a gay man. Being a masculine gay guy, and please don't take that the wrong way either. I love all of my gay friends no matter how they appear, I'm trying to use that as an open reference. In my own journey as a gay guy in a straight band and a gay guy in a straight world and a metal world, I found the connection again through the Marine Corps.
Rob, it's okay to have a type. You really don't have to start invoking former Presidents of the United States because you fancy that sort of man. It's really alright.


Oh, you're back: Ugly Kid Joe

The trouble with the constant now is the sudden reunions of bands which you'd assumed understood that dying of shame was meant to be a once-and-for-all deal. Good god, Ugly Kid Joe have just released a new album. It's 2015, people. 2015. Ugly Kid Joe.


Friday, October 23, 2015

Pandora pony up for pre-72 recordings

Before 1972, recorded music in America wasn't "protected" by copyright. Some streaming services have been taking advantage of this to stream vintage tracks without feeling the need to pay for the rights.

The RIAA wasn't happy about this, and so threatened Pandora with court to demand payment.

Before it came to this, Pandora was bullish:

In response, Pandora issued a statement to The Hollywood Reporter: "Pandora is confident in its legal position and looks forward to a quick resolution of this matter."
The resolution was pretty quick, but, erm not in Pandora's favour:
Pandora Media Inc. will pay $90 million to record labels to settle a dispute over oldies, the Internet radio giant said Thursday.

The agreement with the group of labels -- composed of Sony Music Entertainment, Universal Music Group, Warner Music Group, Capitol Records and ABKCO Music & Records -- resolves yet another major battle over royalties for recordings made before 1972.
So, are Pandora upset? Apparently not. Oh, no. This is, honestly, the outcome they were hoping for:
Pandora Chief Executive Brian McAndrews, in statement, said the company was "excited" to have the dispute resolved. "We pursued this settlement in order to move the conversation forward and continue to foster a better, collaborative relationship with the labels," he said.
Yeah. Thank god, eh? All they wanted to was make a massive payment and knock a fifth off their share price. That was all Pandora ever wanted. All they asked for. They're excited. Real excited.


Managerobit: Joe Moss

Joe Moss, manager of Marion, has died.

Alright, he managed The Smiths too. That might be more culturally significant.

As recorded in The Severed Alliance - Johnny Rogan's Smiths bio; the one which had Morrissey wishing death upon the author - Moss decided to call it a day after The Smiths appeared on Top Of The Pops and did a frenzied date at the HaΓ§ienda on the same day:

Joe Moss was also entranced by The Smiths' performance, but a flash of self-awareness prompted him to ponder some searching questions. "I always thought Top Of The Pops was diabolical and there I was jumping for joy because we were on it. What had happened to my standards? And what would happen later?"
[...]
For Joe Moss, 24 November was also an epoch, but one in which he could no longer be a participant. Having promised to remain with The Smiths until they "made it", he realized that his bargain had been fulfilled. "The commitment I could offer them was short-term. I'd already said to Johnny 'when I do go, if any questions are asked I'll say I had to get out for personal reasons.' He said 'no, say a little more than that, otherwise they'll think it's personal between you and the band.'
Managing The Smiths wasn't always fun, it turns out:
"It might be exciting being in a band, but it's not exciting to manage them. When I left, I left on what was an absolute high. It was the only way to go. I ran down the street shouting 'it's too late to stop now.'"
Moss was 72; he was brought down by cancer.


Monday, October 19, 2015

Russell Simmons debit cards fall flat

Russell Simmons' post Def Jam career has seen him running a debit card service for people who can't access ordinary banks, Rushcard. The cards already have a faint whiff of exploitation about them - Time in 2013 pointed out that the fees piled up really quickly for users - and now the cards have locked themselves up. Users have found themselves unable to access any of the cash locked into the card for over a week.

Yes, that's right. The sort of people whose hand-to-mouth existence means they can't open everyday bank accounts have been unable to access their money for eight days.

They're blaming a problem with an upgrade to a computer system, which everyone believes because there's no way that they'd have been able to roll that back, right?

Russell Simmons, to be fair, hasn't vanished. But he's... well, he's not exactly helping, either:


Oh yes. Praying. Nothing says "the company is just experiencing a mild technical problem" like the figurehead having to call in favours from God.

The company has promised a fee holiday until the end of February, although that will only become useful if people are able to access their funds before then.


Sunday, October 18, 2015

Gene Simmons doesn't hold with all this modern stuff

Gene Simmons took time out from shouting at clouds to have a little rage at file sharing for killing rock. Let's hear him out, shall we?:

"The next KISS of the next BEATLES or whoever it is is not gonna come along, because there is no infrastructure. Here… Let's play a game. From 1958 until 1988 is thirty years. What have we got? Well, let's see… We have Elvis Presley, THE BEATLES, THE [ROLLING] STONES, Jimi Hendrix… the biggest bands of all time. And then in disco, you had Madonna, Donna Summer… all that. The biggest of all. And then in pop, you had Michael Jackson, THE JACKSON 5… all that stuff… and U2. And in heavy metal, you had METALLICA and IRON MAIDEN and all that stuff. Okay. And Prince and all that… From 1988 until today… give me the new BEATLES and the new STONES. Give me just one. You can't. Rock is dead. And the reason for that? Downloading and filesharing. When you stop charging for things, it becomes worthless. And there's gonna have to be a business model that's gonna have to change.
I suppose it's hard to argue that if you don't charge for something, it becomes worthless in a strict financial sense, but I'd have really liked to have heard from Simmons how filesharing stopped bands generating during the 1990s, before it became a thing. Maybe it's just such an evil force that it travels out in time in all directions.

Or, perhaps, rock started to look tired because people who had made some records ten, twenty, thirty years previously stuck around flogging branded merchandise off their reputation and strangled a lot of the creativity in the scene. What do you think, Gene?

Or, maybe, if you're looking for a 21st Century Madonna, and don't immediately think Beyonce, you're just too far from what's going on. Maybe discounting the whole R&B scene, maybe not thinking Kanye or Jay-Z are as culturally relevant as deep-reaching... maybe the problem is that you don't really recognise what the heirs of Presley look like, Gene.

'Cause there are great bands out there, but there's no support system." He continued: "You know, there's a ten-thousand-hour principle [the principle which holds that 10,000 hours of 'deliberate practice' are needed to become world-class in any field]. There's a book about that. Before THE BEATLES went into the studio to become THE BEATLES, they played clubs for ten thousand hours. That's years. You have to do something for thousands and thousands of hours before you get any good on it.
You're right, Gene, there is a book about the 10,000 hours theory. There's also - far more significantly - a study into it. It's bollocks.
Nowadays, instant gratification means you can hum in your shower, then wind up on 'The X Factor' and you're on television and you get a recording contract. But almost none of these singers who get recording contracts become huge. And that's because the taller the tree, the deeper the root that needs to be in the ground to hold up all that weight. So if you have a tree with no roots [makes falling hand motion]." Simmons added: "I love the new pop singers. I love Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. I've met them both. They're all great and talented… What's gonna happen when you're 40 and 50? Will it still work? That's the test of time."
What's beautiful here is Simmons suddenly realising that he's completely undermined his own argument by remembering Taylor Swift, so decides that she doesn't count as we don't known what she'll be doing in twenty years. Swift has been a jobbing musician for eleven years already, which means she's already been going for a year longer than The Beatles managed. Despite her career having happened entirely post-Napster.

But, still, always interesting to hear from you Gene. Good to know the opinions of the leader in the Branded Rock Merchandise Market.


Queensryche wants fans to understand a little more, condemn a little less

Queensryche, if they are anything, are surely uncompromising. Why, look at their new-ish album. It's called Condition Human and has tracks like Toxic Remedy on it. This isn't some hugging-and-learning operation, right?

Well... up to a point. The album, and current iteration of the band, hasn't really been embraced by fans, and that's given Todd La Torre so many feels:

"Everyone evolves, and tastes change, and no one should be faulted for that. So, in Geoff's defense — again, I don't know him personally — but I feel bad that our side and his side and anybody's side has had the harsh criticism… I mean, there's a difference between constructive criticism and unwavering, relentless bashing. I'm a human being, he's a human being… We're all just people at the end of the day, and we do have feelings. And I wish people would just exercise a little more altruism and compassion. Because people just say things with no filter and no regard, without thinking of the recipient on the other side. And at the end of the day, we just wanna write great music for people, and so does he. And, look, if the QUEENSRΕΈCHE fan base feels they have double the pleasure of music to listen to, then stop bitching and enjoy everybody's music."
This is pretty much the Wizard saying "actually, please do pay attention to the man behind the curtain. He's doing his best, right. Why can't the people of Oz just cut him some slack."


This week just gone

The most-read October stories, from any October:

1. RIP: Paul Walters
2. RIP: John Peel
3. RIP: Taylor Mitchell
4. Edith Bowman sheds clothes in the name of charity
5. When everyone believed Ronnie Hazelhurst wrote S Club 7 songs
6. RIP: Dainton Connell
7. Depeche Mode reunited. Let's hope it's not awkward
8. Brandon Flowers thought American Idiot was unpatriotic or something
9. People moaning about people moaning about people moaning about the Glastonbury ticket system
10. Pop papers: NME on Brody Dalle, Friendster & Pele.

This week's interesting releases:


Penetration - Resolution


Download Resolution



Tori Amos - The Light Princess


Download The Light Princess



Reverend & The Makers - Mirrors


Download Mirrors


Saturday, October 17, 2015

Mercury Prize 2015: The shortlist

The Mercury Prize shortlist has been announced, which we'll get to a moment. But first, to celebrate the now-defunct communications company who give the name to the prize, here's a lovely video showing how they cared for their customers until they flogged them to Deutsche Telekom for about seven million quid:

So, here's the shortlist in the year that is already being called "sorry, Wolf Alice, we think it's time for one of those years the outsiders win in order to keep it exciting":

Aphex Twin: Syro
Wolf Alice: My Love Is Cool
Roisin Murphy: Hairless Toys
C Duncan: Architect
ESKA: Eska
Florence + the Machine: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful
Ghostpoet: Shedding Skin
Benjamin Clementine: At Least for Now
Jamie xx: In Colour
Soak: Before We Forgot How to Dream
Gaz Coombes: Matador
Slaves: Are You Satisfied?
The Vaccines haven't been nominated, you'll note, but they're not bothered at all, oh no. No. Not. Remotely. Bothered. In fact, they're so not bothered, they're making sure everyone knows how unbothered they are:
Speaking to NME, [Justin Hayward] Young said: "We've never been nominated so we never expect to be."

He added: "The cafetiere-drinking, Kentish Town-dwelling, Pizza East, 6 Music listener; that's not our demographic."
To be frank, I'm not sure there's anything more Kentish Town/Pizza East than describing your fans as "our demographic", but let's set that aside.

I'm more curious about "cafetiere-drinking" - as opposed to what? Is it better to use a Nespresso machine? Do Vaccine fans only drink instant? It's a surprising insult.

Perhaps "pushing 30s, Kings College history graduate, mates-with-Mumford, relocating to a loft in New York Chinatown" might have been a more succinct way of summing up a typical Mercury Music Award target, although that may be a little close to home for Young.

What's really confusing, though, is why - if the 6Music listener isn't their demographic - why the band played live on 6Music to launch the album, and providing the network with exclusive first plats of other tracks. Perhaps they had yet to discover the delights of Aeropress at that point.


Lindsay Lohan throws her hat into overcrowded 2020 ring

Kanye West - the character out of the Kim Cardigan show - has already made noises about perhaps running for president in 2020. I think we're all assuming he's using the phrase "running for president" in the sense that Donald Trump uses it, as in "mugging for the cameras".

Now, a second name drawn from the "I think they used to make records, didn't they?" file has announced her intention to run. Step forward, Lindsay Lohan. No, really, step forward, I struggle to remember which one is you and which one is Hilary Duff.

Lohan is already constructing her platform:

The first thing I would like to do as president of πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ is take care of all of the children suffering in the world.πŸŽΉπŸ’œπŸŒŽπŸŒπŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ‘ŠπŸΎπŸ‘ŠπŸΌπŸ‘ŠπŸ½πŸ™πŸ»πŸ’‹πŸ™Œ #queenELIZABETH showed me how by having me in her country πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§
Just as a side note, this is the first emoji-strewn post in over a decade of No Rock and Roll Fun, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm using "proud" in the sense that Jeb Bush uses when he says positive things about Donald Trump, as in "jesus, this is still a thing?"

Anyway, leaving aside the manner of delivery, let's just examine Lohan on her policy platform. It might come as news to residents of the UK that the Queen - or hashtagLiz as she's being officially rebranded - is diligently taking care of all the suffering children.

It may also be something of a surprise to discover that hashtagLiz "had" Lindsay in the country - presumably that VIP fast lane at Heathrow immigration is more elaborately staffed than you've ever imagined as you watch people waft into it. I'm assuming the Queen sits at the desk muttering "oh, yes, Mean Girls. One thought so much of Diana when one watched that one. Do come in".

There is a possibility that we're over-thinking this - perhaps Lohan's plan is that you can stop children suffering just by having the Queen let them into the UK.

Imagine. Nigel. Farage's. Face.

And for that reason, and that reason alone, No Rock And Roll Fun is pleased to endorse Lindsay Lohan for 2020 - the first president whose entire policy is to troll UKIP from the White House. I'm already sending an email pledging to work on ads attacking Kanye West - I'm thinking mostly just rolling the "in the French restaurant/ Hurry up with my damn croissants" line over and over in every ad break from now until 2019. Eating in a French restaurant will play really badly in the midwest, and being rude to waiters will kill support pretty much everywhere else apart from Beverley Hills.

Lohan is as good as on Rushmore.


Michael Jackson TV Drama: Spoliers - he dies in the end

Oh, good. They're turning Michael Jackson's death into a jolly television drama.

(Given it was played out on TV in real time, strictly speaking this is a remake, surely?)

Warner Bros said in a statement that the biography will "examine the soaring highs and deep lows faced by the late popstar - his constant hunt for privacy in a life that was more public than almost any other, and the pressures he endured as someone whose fame made him socially fragile and almost unable to live".
There's a couple of things here, Warner Bros - first, he dies in the end so there's no "almost" required; just "unable to live" will suffice.

Secondly, you start by saying it's going to examine the soaring highs and deep lows, but then... it sounds mostly like deep lows. Unless by "soaring highs" you're specifically talking about whatever it was those drugs his doctor was giving him did.


Justin Bieber can no longer be nude

To be fair to Bieber, you should be able to do what you like in what should be a private place, with your private places, but this just sounds wrong:

Now, Bieber has told Access Hollywood that he felt "violated" by the incident. "My first thing was like…how can they do this?" he said. "Like, I feel super violated. Like, I feel like I can't step outside and feel like I can go outside naked. Like, you should feel comfortable in your own space… especially that far away".
"I don't feel I can go outside naked" doesn't sound like a problem - indeed, "I feel I can go outside naked" is the sort of thing your Uncle said just before he stopped being invited around for Christmas. It's not the small penis, it's the long lens that's the problem, surely, and that remains a problem even if you were swaddled like a new born in a snowstorm, Justin.


Sunday, October 11, 2015

Keyboardobit: Carey Lander

Camera Obscura keyboardist and singer Carey Lander has died. The band issued a statement via Facebook:

It is with the greatest sadness, that we must share the news that Carey passed away peacefully this morning after her illness with cancer. We have lost our friend and band mate, and our deepest sympathy goes out to her partner Kenny, and to all her family and friends.
The next part of the statement is important - Carey's fundraising goes on:
She was touched by the way you all got behind her campaign for Sarcoma UK and you can still donate here: https://www.justgiving.com/Carey-Lander

We shall be continuing to help promote the campaign on her behalf.

She was left in no doubt how much you all loved and appreciated her, and we'd like to thank you all for the support and kind words you have been sending to us and her. The band, our music, and all of you who have enjoyed it over the years, meant so much to her.

Thank you all, Tracyanne, Gavin, Kenny and Lee x
That URL again? https://www.justgiving.com/Carey-Lander. Go give something.


Please tip St Vincent generously

So Annie Clark's sister has got a Mexican restaurant in Dallas. And because Mexican restaurants are best if they're family businesses, Annie's been helping out:



And she's not just been waving her hands about being fabulous:
The chef for Resident Taqueria confirmed Clark’s employment to Pitchfork, saying she’s been taking food orders, refilling napkin dispensers, and clearing tables, among other restaurant responsibilities.
It's unclear if the chef will repay the favour by doing food orders at the next St Vincent date.


Demi Lovato visits the Senate

Demi Lovato has been sharing stories of her mental health with Senators in the hope they might try and sort out the messy US healthcare system's approach to similar patients.

Texan Republican John Cornyn did some research:

“I was very impressed by Miss Lovato,” he said. “I don’t necessarily follow her music very closely but I did Google her and pulled up a YouTube video of some of her performances. She’s had an incredible story.”
He obviously wanted that on the public record in case anyone ever wondered why this would be in his search history:


Singersongwriterobit: Robbin Thompson

Robbin Thompson, singer with Steel Mill (which also featured a young Bruce Springsteen), has died.

He'd been leading his own band, Mercy Flight, when Bruce approached him:

"One day, out of the blue, Bruce said, 'I'm thinking about adding another singer that can play a little guitar. Do you want to try out?'" Thompson told the Port Folio Weekly in 2008. "I went up to Jersey, spent a weekend, and the next thing I know I'm up there playing. I really never could figure out why they needed me in the band! That was the summer of 1970, and I was in it for close to a year."
He also composed the official popular state song of Virginia. This one:

Robbin Thompson was 66; he'd been struggling to continue his career while receiving treatment for cancer.


Bookmarks: Terence Trent D'Arby

There's an excellent piece about Terence Trent D'Arby at the New Statesman website. Interviewed by Kate Mossman, he's by turns self-aggrandising - claiming he was debated about in the House of Lords, something Hansard doesn't appear to record; charming; alarming; disarming and even - and this isn't something I've ever come across in a few decades of reading TTD interviews - like a human:

I press him about the lyrics to “Giraffe”, a likeable, child-friendly melody that contains the lines: “Giraffe/can I have your autograph?/Please sign it to Sananda”. When I suggest that it sounds like a song from Sesame Street he brightens. For the past five years he has been listening almost exclusively to children’s music with his two sons, aged three and five. Joe Raposo, who wrote many of the programme’s best-loved songs, including “It’s Not Easy Being Green”, is one of his favourite composers. His husky voice swells into a perfect, sparkly croon: Can you tell me how to get – how to get to Sesame Street! “You know,” he says, “I think Elvis Costello was also influenced by some of Raposo’s stuff. You’re not supposed to say that, as an angry young writer, ‘Oh yeah, I listen to Sesame Street,’ but I can hear certain devices of his that sound like that whole Electric Company style of songwriting.”

His boys love “Giraffe”, but he can’t be around while they are listening to it; his wife later tells me she has to wait until he’s out of the house to play it to them. He talks touchingly about love being “something you have to work on – it doesn’t just come to you”. As a young man, he scythed his way through women, partly because of his mother issues, he thinks: then one day he decided to stop, “because you’re only going to wind up looking for the same thing anyway”.


This week just gone

Ten years ago this week:

Ricky Wilson and Mark Radcliffe swap jobs. As if Wilson would end up a presenter, eh?
Melissa Etheridge was happy talking about self-medicating with dope
Rachel Stevens made a bid to be a Bond girl and Madonna was trying to make a Kabbala kids TV show
I don't think anyone ever really understood they Boy George/sex worker/cocaine story
Tatu tried to fight back against Charlotte Church
Radio One tried a night in memory of John Peel, anchored by, erm, Colin Murray
Prince needed a hip replacement, and the Stones toured with a defribulator
... and Corey Taylor had a screaming teacher

Last week's new releases:


Lucy Ward - I Dreamt I Was A Bird


Download I Dreamt I Was A Bird



The Close Lobster - Firestation Towers


Download Firestation Towers



Swim Deep - Mothers


Download The Light In You



Mercury Rev - The Light In You


Download The Light In You



Squeeze - Cradle To The Grave


Download Cradle To The Grave