Tiresome, The Creator to launch a TV network, apparently

Exciting news from America, where noted homophobe and misogynist Tyler, The Creator has announced plans for a TV network.

Yes, a TV network. This is in no way just a website being launched. Be clear about that.

"I'm creating my own MTV or my own Cartoon Network," said Tyler Okonma — better known as Tyler, the Creator — from the stage at the Code/Media conference in Dana Point, Calif.

It's not actually "his own", as it's just a deal with another company, Whalerock. But, hey, having half shares in an MTV. That'd be a thing, right?

Unless it's just a website. But it's not, is it?

The network, which will launch before the end of June, will allow Okonma to bring content directly to his fans, bypassing traditional media companies and social networks that served as the launching pad for his fame. Other details about the service were scarce, but Okonma will charge a subscription fee to access a mix of both exclusive and licensed content.

That might sound like it's a website rather than an actual TV network, but it isn't, okay? Because the important difference is a website would be accessed through a browser, and a network broadcasts over a Tv distribution system. And Tyler TV is going to be going to set top boxes from the off, yes?

Isn't it?

Braun founded Whalerock as BermanBraun but rebranded the company after he bought out his former partner Gail Berman last year. He said he plans to create as many as 12 channels for performers or brands in the next three years. In the future, those channels could be bundled together and distributed via cable or over-the-top platforms such as AppleTV.

Oh. So, erm, we're getting very excited about 'man launches website which may one day appear on TV'.

Blur are back, back, back (although we didn't realise they'd actually stopped being back)

So, much excitement earlier this week, with Sky News taking up the fact trumpet:

@SkyNews: Blur have announced they are going to reunite for the first time in 12 years

I'd love to share the actual tweet with you, but it has vanished from the world as, with one voice (and I suspect it was the voice of Phil Daniels) Twitter yelled 'they did Glastonbury in 2009, and had a single out in 2012, and it seems like they've never actually stopped working together.

Sure, from the news source which once declared that the entire eastern seaboard of America had been decimated by a terrorist attack, messing up a tweet about Blur is a step forward, but it's a pity that they're so thin-skinned they attempted to rewrite history rather than admit their error, correct it, and move on. An organisation which attempts to wipe out its mistakes isn't one to be trusted.

Still, Blur are having a comeback. Or, rather, Blur are still around. Although they have let themselves go a bit:

The album might be great - but it does come with trigger warning:

Initially conceived in Hong Kong, during downtime following a cancelled show in Japan, the band spent five days laying down ideas.

Now, the band say they've had time for perspective to develop, and look at the tracks with a cold, hard, eye.

Maybe.

But let's just approach this record with the awareness that this is a project born of being bored in a hotel room.

And so it's on a par with this sort of thing:

NME Awards 2015: Kasabian, Kasabian, Kasabian

Last night was the NME Awards, which a few years back had become quite a thing; even getting televised. This year, they don't even seem to have bothered putting people picking up the prizes on the NME YouTube channel, although there's some video on the NME site.

The lack of a livestream seemed to upset some people on Twitter last night, but looking at the list of winners, it might have been wise for the magazine to try and do it in secret:

Godlike genius award Suede
Rock’n’roll soul award Jimmy Page
Best British band Kasabian
Best international band Foo Fighters
Outstanding contribution to music Teenage Cancer Trust
Best solo artist Jake Bugg
Best new band Royal Blood
Best live band Royal Blood
Best album 48:13 by Kasabian
Best track Zombie by Jamie T
Best video Zombie by Jamie T
Best festival Glastonbury
Philip Hall radar award Dean Blunt
Best TV show Game Of Thrones
Best film Northern Soul
Best music film Pulp: a Film About Life, Death and Supermarkets
Reissue of the year The Holy Bible by Manic Street Preachers
Dancefloor filler Fancy by Iggy Azalea featuring Charli XCX
Worst band 5 Seconds Of Summer
Villain of the year Nigel Farage
Hero of the year Alex Turner
Music moment of the year Jamie T’s comeback
Best fan community Muse
Small festival of the year Liverpool Psych Fest
Book of the year Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys by Viv Albertine
Best band social media Liam Gallagher’s Twitter
Best lyric “I’m wearing Win Butler’s hair/There’s a scalpless singer in a Montreal rock band somewhere” by Happyness
Best quote “Five records, ten years. We’ve earned our shot” - Sergio Pizzorno of Kasabian talking about headlining Glastonbury

Let's just take a second to look at the full name of one category, shall we?

Best International Band supported by Austin, Texas – The Live Music Capital Of The World®

Sponsored awards? Well, that's probably unavoidable. The sponsor's crappy slogan? If you must. But a registered trademark symbol as part of the prize name? Jesus wept. Or rather Jesus wept with the King James Bible copyright the Bible.

(Incidentally, the NME 'full list of winners' doesn't actually list all the winners.)

There's a lot of Kasabian and Jamie T there. Could the prize giving be any more awful?

Oh, hang on. Yes. Yes, it could. Added Gervais:

A special video, featuring the band's former manager comedian Ricky Gervais, was also shown - watch the video above. "I did help this band out a little bit in the early years," he comments. "When I told them I couldn't manage them anymore, there were no tears, they didn't beg - and that's when their career really took off."

At least he didn't do it in character as Derek, I guess.

Let's celebrate the good news here: Liverpool Psych fest; Viv Albertine; respect for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

But then... look at that "quote of the year"" - Serge out of Kasabian suggesting that they've paid their dues and it's now buggin's turn. Look at the belief that the best thing that happened in music during the whole of 2014 - the whole of 2014 was Jamie T's comeback (to a world that hadn't even noticed he'd gone in the firts place. The way that Muse still won a fucking prize.

Good lord. A magazine that has set its sights so very low might struggle to even give itself away.

Venuewatch: Saving The Lomax

With its future shaky following a police drugs raid, Liverpool is rallying round to save The Lomax:

Following the closure of Liverpool's best independent music venue, The Lomax, we are staging a peaceful gathering of support outside of the venue on Saturday 21st February.

This is all about the venue and the music community which surrounds it. The Lomax's ethos has always been kindness, family, and peace. Therefore we insist that anyone taking part in the gathering acts according the the way of Lomax people.

We will meet from midday until 12:30pm outside the Lomax. Please do not bring alcohol or PA systems. Banners are welcome but this is not a march but a show of support so we will congregate outside the venue only. Bring banners, instruments, voices and most importantly memories and testimonials of the Lomax. If you can print these all the better.

NME heading for free?

There's growing rumours that NME's print edition might be turned into a giveaway. MediaGuardian reports that staff have been told it's an option, but not a done deal:

It is understood that staff were told at an editorial meeting on Wednesday that nothing is set in stone about the future of the magazine but that it will continue.

It is thought that there have been talks with retailers such as Topshop and Urban Outfitters about possible partnerships.

Despite speculation, it is understood that an announcement will not be made at the NME Awards on Wednesday evening.

There's a fairly huge question about how a free NME would be distributed; they may or may not be dumped on a shelf at Urban Outfitters, but unquestionably it would make the magazine much more of an urban plaything.

And can free work for a music magazine? Less than twelve months ago, The Fly threw in the towel; a free NME would need a solid advertising market to sustain it and a global meltdown rerun of 2008... well, that might put a wrinkle in the numbers.

Partyobit: Lesley Gore

Lesley Gore, teen pop star, has died.

Gore had the original hit with It's My Party at the age of 16; she was smart enough to know what the music industry was like and decided she'd be better off getting an education, as the Washington Post remembers:

“The record company wasn’t thrilled, my agent wasn’t thrilled — but I sensed very early just how fickle this business is,” she told the Sacramento Bee in 2006. “I had a good brain in my head and I saw it as an opportunity to cloister myself.”

She was wise, in the long run: by the time she graduated, music had moved on and her last hit was in 1967.

She released little since, but continued to play live. After 30 years, she released a new album - 2005's Ever Since - but was shrewd enough to know what people really wanted to hear:

“If I’ve learned anything in this business,” she told the New York Times[...] “how stupid would it be not to do ‘It’s My Party’ when people come to hear it?”

She was one of the ever-changing hosts for PBS's LGBT series In The Life. In 2005, she spoke with After Ellen about her experience of coming out. She didn't realise she was gay during her years at the top of the charts:

AE: Would you say that people knew you were gay back when you were first performing? You were pretty young, about 17, right?
LG: Well, I didn’t know until I was in my twenties, so if they knew it, they knew it before I did. [Laughs] You know, maybe someone did think that. I don’t know, but I certainly didn’t know it until I was in my twenties.
AE: Once you did know, did you have to go to lengths to conceal it in the music industry?
LG: Well, I don’t think I went to lengths. I just kind of lived my life naturally and did what I wanted to do. I didn’t avoid anything, I didn’t put it in anybody’s face. Times were very different then, so, you know, I just tried to live as normally as humanly possible. But as truthfully as humanly possible.

Gore died February 16th of lung cancer; she is survived by Lois Sasson, her partner of 33 years.

Riders and the storm: Jack White rolls the guacamole story one more time

Once again, we find ourselves returning to the vexed tale of Jack White's rider. Apparently, White is annoyed about the attention his demands have been getting. So, erm, he's decided to put the story to bed by writing an open letter about it.

Yes, because when you want to calm down a story on the internet, the best thing to do is whip up a dozen paragraphs about it. It's like trying to calm down a fire by pissing on it, only your urine is made out of diesel.

Jack headlines his missive "for god sakes", thereby dragging religion into the mix.

dear journalists and other people looking for drama or a diva,

even in the age of the short attention span internet article, it’s still hard to believe you are STILL writing about this

If the internet has a short attention span - and it does - that would suggest that it had moved on from your avocado dish rather than still being interested in it, surely?

Jack then links to an NPR piece, which is actually about making good guacamole using the story as a hook rather than being about him as such. But it seems to be what's pushed him over the edge.

NPR ends with this:

"If you bite into that, then you're also kind of biting into little explosions of flavor, and that's what Jack White's recipe has."

- but even that endorsement just gets a "wow. classy." from White.

seems like there’s a new rule number one for up and coming journalists: don't let the facts get in the way of click bait.

Now, that's a good point - that is a problem with online journalism. But NPR are using your actual recipe, which is both factual and good story.

I'm sure that somewhere there's a story which claims White insists his guacamole has kitten blood (or worse, sour cream) in it, which might deserve that sort of disdain, but this isn't it.

It's like he's desperate to moan about his mistreatment, but can't be bothered to find an example of what's really upsetting him. Still, why let the facts get in the way of a good rant?

at the risk of incurring even more of this hoo haa (and i’ve definitely turned my cheek more than once lately)

Jack, someone printed your rider. It's not a thing that even requires "turning cheeks". I know you're worried that it gave the impression you're some sort of a diva, but asking for things backstage isn't really diva-like behaviour. Trotting out a few hundred words about why it's rotten for people to read your rider - that's quite rotten.

He makes the fair point that the recipe is actually his tour manager's rather than his personal recipe. And he makes a rather good joke about not being able to make Kool Aid. Trouble is, Jack, the rider is the "Jack White" rider, and although it might not be your personal guacamole, it's the corporate Jack White guacamole. You can't say 'not in my name' when it's guac in your name.

i take with me what i need, and that ain't much. anything on the rider is for the band and the crew. this "guacamole recipe" is my hilarious tour managers inside joke with the local promoters, it’s his recipe, not mine. it’s just something to break up the boredom, seeing who can make it best. though i wouldn’t know because i’ve never had it.

So, from Jack's point of view: making the people at a venue fanny about making guacamole as a "joke" is fine; but people writing about how venue owners are being made to make guacamole for a laugh is a terrible thing.

Imagine if the rider had stipulated that when the tour manager plays a flute everyone backstage must drop what they're doing and dance a little jig for the crew's amusement and a secret competition. That might seem to be an imposition on people doing their best to run a venue and put on a show. Making them fanny about with deveining serrano peppers is no better.

bananas: did it occur to anyone someone on the tour might have an allergy to them? no?

Probably not, as I guess the sort of person with such a serious intolerance to bananas that even their presence, unzipped, in the same backstage area was a risk to their health - well, that's not the sort of person you come across every day. It does happen though - it's happened at the BBC.

But if the reason for the banana ban is a serious issue of health and safety, might be a good idea to mention that in the rider, especially if otherwise it'd be chucked alongside instructions to squirt lime over avocados as part of a humorous in-joke.

Jack then moves on to the vexed question of how this wound up in the paper in the first place:

one day some fantasy journalist out there will call someone in the biz and actually have a rider explained to them, maybe none of them have ever been on tour.

(Again, in passing: the NPR story White links to explains what a rider is.)

oh well, let’s move on, first amendment issues: i fully believe in the freedom of the press (though the supposed search for truth from the press requires microscopes and a some morton salt), and i also defend anyone’s right to free speech (just look at my lack of respect for grammar in this letter and tell me i’m not for communicating freely) and i defend the right to free information in regards to public funds, but never in my 20 years of playing shows has my contract and tour rider been published in the paper that i recall.

Jack's memory must be failing him. In 2005, a White Stripes rider did the rounds. (Back then, bananas were essential items.)

But even if White doesn't recall his own rider turning up, someone who is so steeped in rock history - the sort of person who knows the names of the woman in the factory who packed the valves used by Sun Studios - that he finds the idea of rider being leaked so unusual.

White then explains what a rider is, and comes to this:

what you’re looking for is someone throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get their brown m and m’s, sorry to disappoint.

Jack, you're writing a long screed about who actually came up with the sodding guacamole recipe. You are being that guy. You're being that guy right now.

Is White going to go back to Oklahoma? Sure he is.

i love oklahoma, that’s why i booked this show instead of playing chicago or atlanta for four times as much money.

Also the guacamole in Atlanta is rubbish.

our booking agent warned the college that other artists might not book shows there? of course they did, it’s bad business what that school paper did and really rude. of course they are going to tell them to wise up.

Really? It's a school paper which published some details that are in the public domain, and you think that your agency pulling gigs from a different part of the university is proportionate? I suppose if you think 'look at this about bananas' is "really rude", maybe that would be the case.

White then goes on to take issue with some of the reporting of the gig itself - where what he says were jokes about the situation were reported as him being thin-skinned and ranting. If that's the case, you can understand him being upset with this, and putting the record straight is fair enough:

i got pissed during my show and berated the crowd? no. sorry, didn’t happen. i made jokes about the paper publishing that info, so which of us is thin skinned? they have freedom of speech but i don't? at my show? ok. i guess the rules change for different people.

It might be better to say 'look, I was making a few jokes but I wasn't being thin skinned about it' before the six paragraphs of being thin skinned about the story.

There's also a bizarre chunk about whether student photographers (or possibly just students, or possibly just photographers) tried to take pictures of his amps or something. White sees this as an imposition, but - again, in the context of man who clearly understands and values the impact equipment makes on the sound of a performance - seems a bit odd.

i know it’s a fun thing for people to try to turn me into a jerk and a diva, but in this case it’s pretty ridiculous and has almost nothing to do with me.

Thing is, most backstage riders look a bit doofy when stared at hard; I don't even think the original tone of the story was really suggesting White was Carey - but for the recipe, I doubt if anyone would have given it a second glance. It's this sort of response, the desperation for the audience to know that it wasn't a personal recipe - that's what looks a bit jerky.

White does have a pay-off:

i think that’s everything, can i go back to making music now? no? ok. crochet it is.

You know, if you'd just done that joke, you might have closed the thing down. All you've done right now is pick at something that had scabbed over.

There's no hope for the Mail, is there?

The Mail has become so obsessed with women's bodies, it can't even write a headline about a man buying a lot of Dolly Parton memorabilia without popping its favourite word into the headline:

Dolly Parton super-fan obsessed with the curvy country singer spends £10,000 on memorabilia... but insists his CDs and life-size cutouts are 'priceless'

Is this part of the house style at the Mail now? "Headlines: when writing about women, remember to include an indication of whether the woman is curvy or worryingly thin."

Noel Gallagher knocking on heaven's door - or perhaps just in the area

An eye-popping headline from NME.com:

Noel Gallagher told he would 'drop dead' if he came off medication

That's quite serious, then - so he was told he'd die if he didn't take the medicine, right?

Right?

Oh.

"Then I went on holiday with the kids. And I was getting out of a swimming pool with one of them in my hand and did my back in. Then my doctor put me on these tablets – I won’t tell you what for – [and] told me that if I didn't take them I would virtually drop dead."

So that's 'Noel says doctors told him he'd be quite unwell without taking medicine', then.

Yahoo adds download button to Tumblr; adds trouble to users

As Yahoo struggles to remember why it bought Tumblr, and shakes it to see if the previous owners left any money down the back of it, it's tried a new idea: since the start of the month, it's popped a little download button on audio posts, to allow visitors to not merely enjoy audio on the page, but to take it away with them, and put it on their devices.

Hey, that's wonderful functionality. Right?

There's a bit of a problem, though. The music industry has never been happy with people posting copyrighted stuff to Tumblr; adding a download button has turned a small transgression into a major problem.

Sure, it's always been a violation of the terms and conditions, and posting music you don't hold a licence too has carried a threat of account deletion, but apparently not coincidentally linked to the download button appearance, the music industry has started to get militant with Tumblr abuses. Stewardessme sums up the situation:

For years, Tumblr allowed us to upload music (up to five audio posts a day) because it substantially increased Tumblr’s user base and user “activity,” therefore increasing Tumblr’s value to its eventual buyer, Yahoo, and to the advertisers Yahoo is so eager to court. Now Yahoo/Tumblr is letting us take the DMCA fall for it, reminding us yet again that we aren’t the customers, but the product being sold to advertisers.

And, of course, because the music industry is using an automated machine, the sort of mistakes we've seen all over the internet are happening:

http://inaraoftyria.tumblr.com/post/111060807046/hey-jeremy-banks-hey-ifpi-no-you-do-not-own-my

If Tumblr is good at anything, though, it's good at forming support groups. And the community is coming together to help people who might be worried that having stuck a couple of Imagine Dragon tracks onto their blog could result in their entire Tumblr existence being wiped out. So there's a lot of activity like this going on:

http://iron-siren.tumblr.com/post/111058041597/resources-for-those-concerned-about-ifpi-takedowns

The lack of clarity about what's happening from Yahoo has generated a massive rumour mill, making things worse - people whose blogs are based on song titles or lyrics are panicking that they might be wiped as a result. That seems unlikely - a douchebag too far even for the copyright industry - but it'd be nice to see someone confirm that. Because, ah, it would be no rock and roll fun if that happened.

Lowe goes; Mac moves up: Radio One shuffles the evening

I never really thought Zane Lowe would stick around long at Radio One. I was wrong - he's been doing what-was-the-evening-session for twelve years now. That's as long as the entire Goodier/Whiley/Lamacq version lasted.

Not bad for a man who until then had been shouting on MTV2 for a living.

He's off now, though, into the wilderness ("to join iTunesU radio").

The good news, though, is that Annie Mac is going to take over the slot - which is an excellent decision.

The handover comes at the end of March.

This week just gone

Geek-friendly chart - ten most popular referring networks over the last twelve months:

1. Naver
2. Blogger
3. Facebook
4. Twitter
5. Topix
6. Reddit
7. Tumblr
8. WordPress
9. LiveJournal
10. Netvibes

These were this week's interesting releases:


The Wave Pictures - Great Big Flamingo Burning Moon

Download … Burning Moon



The Do - Shake Shook Shaken

Download Shake Shook Shaken



Atari Teenage Riot - Reset

Download Reset



The Unthanks - Mount The Air

Download Mount The Air



Two Gallants - We Are Undone

Download We Are Undone



Steve Earle & The Dukes - Terraplane

Download Terraplane

Venuewatch: Liverpool Lomax packed with drugs, closed down

I'm not entirely sure if the current version of the Liverpool Lomax is officially the second or third iteration of the venue - third, strictly speaking, if you consider the time the original venue closed and moved in with its bigger sibling the L2 round the back of Lime Street.

Whether you consider it Lomax v2, or v3, or v4 if you think of the L2 as actually being v2 is irrelevant now, as the police are asking magistrates to shut the police down.

They raided the place early today and... well, they didn't like what they found:

After closing the premises officers carried out an extensive search of the four-storey premises and found 10 bags of cannabis and some cocaine.

It's been a grim week for turn-of-the-century big names in Liverpool: Garlands was also raided and closed down.

NME circulation does what NME circulation does

Down again, down again: print sales have now gone below 14,000 with 13995 copies finding their way into people's hands in the second half of last year.

Topping up with digital sales brings the number up to 15,384 a week, but even digital sales aren't offering much joy: 8.5% of digital readers in the first half of 2014 had vanished by the second half. Digital was never going to take the circulation back to six figures; it's starting to look like it might not keep it above five figures.

All together, NME is down another 23% on the same period in 2013.

Q is now selling 50,161; Mojo 70,693. Kerrang - once the nip-and-tuck rival to NME lost 13.7% of circulation but remains outstripping NME by nearly two-to-one.

And the gloomiest view of the figures? MediaGuardian reminds us:

But [NME] now has just half the sales of its now defunct sister title, Melody Maker, when it was closed in 2000.

Romobit: Steve Strange

Steve Strange: Faded to grey.

His agent, Pete Bassett, said he would be remembered as "a hard-working, very amusing and lovable individual who always was at the forefront of fashion trends".

"Up until last year he was putting together a book of fashion styles based on the New Romantic movement and it comes as a great shock.

"We understood that he had certain health problems but nothing we knew was life threatening.
"His friends and family are totally shocked, we had no idea anything like this was likely to happen."

Fifty five years old; taken by a heart attack.

There will be a lot written about the New Romantic years; about Visage; about the demons and theft of teletubbies.

But lets not forget Steve's sweet re-emergence into public life when he appeared on BBC Three's Celebrity Scissorhands. It sounded like a terrible idea - a man who had clearly not long since left a bad place doing haircuts for charity - but he was the revelation of the show. Much of his work showed how creative he was, and how he could bring people together. But a silly little programme tucked away in the early evening on a digital channel showed what a lovely, lovely man he was.

Ellie Goulding is from round these parts, sort of

A whole bunch of Gloucestershire parish records have been put online, and the Gloucestershire Echo is excited:

More than three million historic Gloucestershire parish records have been published online for the first time, offering unique insight into the history and people of the area – including the relatives of pop star Ellie Goulding.

Yes, having gone through three million births, marriages and deaths, the most exciting thing they can find is that Ellie Goulding's great gran lived in the county.

Given that Goulding was only born 45 miles from Gloucester, it's not even that surprising, surely?

NME Awards 2015: Godlike, in that they're unknowable

Congratulations to Suede, winners of this year's NME Godlike Genius Awards.

You can tell that NME considers Suede to be geniuses, given that they're always on the cover.

Oh... that they have had the cover as recently as, erm, 1996.

To be fair, last year's winners, Blondie, hadn't got a front page from NME since 1986, but normally the genius being celebrated by awards is also celebrated by being given cover features - Johnny Marr had been on the front cover two weeks before he picked up the prize in 2013; as had Noel Gallagher in 2012. 2011's Dave Grohl had been part of a shared cover on the first issue of the year - but it had been four years since the Foo Fighters had got a stand alone page one. They did get two further covers in 2011, though.

It'll be interesting to see if we're about to be hit by a wave of Suede pictures on the newsstand. I'm not holding my breath, mind.

Album charts apparently still going; intend to add streaming

The addition of streaming to the singles charts gave a headache to the Official Charts Company - how do you weight a listen to a tune against the purchase of a CD?

They're now adding streaming data to the album charts, and that's created an even more Sheldon Cooper style twisting of data to make sense.

They've rejected the model used by the Billboard charts:

In the US, the Billboard chart equates 1,500 streams of any song from an album to one sale.

However, that leads to situations where the popularity of one song pushes the entire album up the chart.

(Additionally, and surely more worryingly, it means that the effort of one song is going to be counted for both the singles and album charts, which seems odd.)

So what have the UK chart counters come up with?

The Official Chart Company says it will weight its data to avoid similar situations.

It will look at the 12 most-streamed tracks from each album, then down-weight the two most popular in line with the average of the next 10.

These streams will then be added together and divided by 1,000. This "stream factor" will then be added to the physical/digital sales of the album, to produce an overall "sales figure" that determines an album's position in the countdown.

Louis Walsh was last seen heading home to see if he still had his log table.

There's nothing like a completely transparent system to make the list of best-selling album, is there?

You might ask why it's only streaming albums which get adjusted if people access them but only want to listen to two tracks? Why shouldn't physical CDs be marked down if the purchaser only makes it through the first couple of songs, or rips it to their PC but only ever plays the hits?

The album chart, like the singles chart, will ignore YouTube data completely so won't even reflect what people are really listening to.

Eurovision 2015: Canberra, can we have your v... hang on, what?

It's never been a condition of entry that your nation is in Europe to be part of the Eurovision Song Contest. You just have to be a member of the European Broadcasting Union.

So the announcement that Australia is going to send a competing song to Eurovision isn't quite as unlikely as it sounds.

Australia is an associate member of the EBU, and given that that's enough to qualify for entry, it holds out the prospect of other associates turning up. That could mean Brazil; Japan; or even a Cuba-USA head-to-head.

Participation leads to voting privileges, which means Terry Wogan is trying to work out which European country is closest to Australia so he can start complaining about block votes.

Kathleen Hanna is a monster

Well, she's actually pretending to be a monster - she's voicing the lead character in the Myrna The Monster cartoon about an alien coming to terms with growing into adulthood:

“I think just that [Myrna]’s so awkward and she seems kind of like, you know she really wants to be a part of things but doesn’t really know how,” Hanna says. She also says she can relate deeply to Myrna on that level. “I’ve always been a person who like, I make friends by doing projects. If I need friends, I start a basketball team or a band, some kind of project that involves other people. I don’t really know how to just straight-up make a friend, you know what I mean? I’ve always felt socially awkward.”

Not entirely sure how successful you could be at forming a basketball team while being socially awkward, but you get the point.

Tories silent auction gives you chance to be Great Uncle Bulgaria

You might think that the story about the Tories raising money through a silent auction was a spoof when you got to the bit about rich Conservatives bidding on tickets to see the last of The Hunger Games movie. But it's genuine.

There's going to be a plutocrat trying to get their money back when they discover that The Hunger Games has such a sad ending.

With lots like the chance to eat an entire chicken with Michael Gove and Sarah Vine, the line-up of items suggests a confusion between 'silent auction' and 'unspeakable horror', but there were a surprising number of music-related chances to bid.

Perhaps most surprisingly, there was a photo of Suggs. The catalogue describes the photo:

Portrait photograph of Suggs from Madness.
This framed photographic print of Suggs from Madness is a true collector's item. The photographer Stephen Perry has been described as a true visionary and has taken portrait photographs of the stars since an early age. Stephen claimed that he chose to keep Suggs' sunglasses on as he was still a recognisable figure with them on, although it later emerged that he had been in the pub before the shoot and was slightly the worse for wear!

What larks.

I wonder if there's another story about Suggs being in a pub that might be relevant here? How about this one:

Suggs is keen to point out that Madness were always very political. “We were socialists, and still are, to a greater or lesser extent. Our first gig at the Hope and Anchor was the night Margaret Thatcher got voted in, God help us. All that ‘there’s no such thing as society’ and what they did to the unions… We were a little society of our own and tried to create a feeling of belonging. Our House becomes authentic, even though it’s an abstract. It’s the idea of family.

“We did Red Wedge [aimed at raising political awareness among young people] with Billy Bragg, The Specials, Jerry Dammers, Paul Weller, and we did loads of stuff for the miners, benefits for the strikers and families.”

Perhaps the Tories knew all this. Perhaps using Suggs to raise funds for the Campaign to Re-elect The Shiny Porkfaced Cameron is a joke.

Or perhaps they're just inept.

Another lot is to get Mike Batt to write a song, just for you. "It could be a comic song" suggests the catalogue.

But there's a warning:

Not to be used for commercial purposes

Really? You're putting a ban on a person using something they've bought for their own personal enrichment. You've changed, Conservatives. You used to support the free market. Who knew the invisible hand gets slapped back the minute it tries to caress Mike Batt's bottom line.

There's also tickets to see Fleetwood Mac in Leeds, which could be a tribute to that time Republicans bought tickets to a Mac gig and then sold them at a mark-up to fundraise.

It's possible the whole event was some sort of too-clever-by-half in-joke.

But then all the opportunities to shoot things to death... well, that looks deadly earnest.

Twittergem: Morrissey

And if a Double Decker bus...... @JohnRentoul pic.twitter.com/u3Nc0vO2Bl

— Josh (@JoshuaJPE) February 10, 2015

Jack White's fabulous rider

Jack White had a date booked at Oklahoma University. Have you ever wondered what sort of rider Jack might have?

Well, now we know. It even includes a guacamole recipe:

• 8 x large, ripe Haas avocados (cut in half the long way, remove the pit—SAVE THE PIT THOUGH--, and dice into large cubes with a butter knife. 3 or 4 slits down, 3 or 4 across. You’ll scoop out the chunks with a spoon, careful to main the avocado in fairly large chunks.)

• 4 x vine-ripened tomatoes (diced)

• ½ x yellow onion (finely chopped)

• 1 x full bunch cilantro (chopped)

• 4 x Serrano peppers (de-veined and chopped)

• 1 x lime

• Salt & pepper to taste

• Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. Once properly mixed and tested, add the pits into the guacamole and even out the top with a spoon or spatula. Add ½ lime to the top later so you cover move of the surface with the juice (The pits and lime will keep it from browning prematurely.) Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until served. Please don’t make it too early before it’s served. We’d love to have it around 5 pm.

The thing about the pit in stopping the browning is rubbish; it's the foodie equivalent of 'using an old tape machine will capture the spirit of Hank Williams'.

There's more, though:

White ends the night with a New York strip steak, cooked medium, with steamed vegetables on the side and no sauce. “This should be made/picked up just before the show ends,” according to the contract.

Hospitality for the performance must be set up and ready to go prior to the tour group’s arrival, with the exception of alcohol and deli/cheese platters. Those can wait. It’s a different story for the 36 bottles of spring water, four bottles of fresh juice smoothies, 1 pound of “freshly sliced, high-quality prosciutto and aged salami with a sharp knife,” though—all for White’s dressing room.

Man, he eats a lot of meat.

So far, so amusing - if he came round here it'd be a tub of Sainsburys hummus and a choice of pepparamis. But perhaps the student paper which ran the story mocking the rider should have paid more attention to this bit:

No photos of White in or directly outside the venue, and any reporting of the event on social media sites are discouraged until “well after the performance is over.” This is because White and the crew like privacy.

Yeah, the guy just wanted to be left alone to eat all that meat (what is he, a werewolf?) in private.

The whole 'pointing at his demands and laughing thing' isn't going to go down well, is it? Either with some New York Strip Steak.

So it proved - White has now added 'little hissy fit' to 'Carey-style demands', and the agency, William Morris Endeavor Entertainment, has put the OU on its blacklist:

The company said they won’t book anymore bands or other talents to come to OU because the article mocked Jack White and they don’t want any other artists treated that way, said Layne Ferguson, Campus Activities Council chairperson.

There's two things here - first, it was a little gentle ribbing (and we can only imagine how Jack likes his ribs) and perhaps he should be a little more resilient.

The second is the agency wants a change in policy at the OU to stop this ever happening again - but the policy of releasing documents like this, if asked to, isn't in the University's gift:

This policy refers to the Oklahoma Open Records Act, which requires any public entity of the state of Oklahoma, such as OU, to respond to request for records. OU must respond to requests for records involving the administration of public funds or transaction of public business, including budgets, faculty emails and other records.

So, it's actually a state law that public-funded bodies have to reveal details of business dealings.

Maybe they should think about suggesting artists stop making demands that make them sound like Little Lord Fauntleroy, rather than whining when people find out about it?

Grammys 2015: Manson crushes West... but not totally

The Grammys, as ever, provided a focus for bad behaviour, most of it of the uninteresting sort.

The red carpet brought this gem, the implication that Taylor Swift was there to get laid:

http://bealiveplaydead.tumblr.com/post/110617904144

Meanwhile, the success of Beck upset Kanye West. Obviously, West isn't really a tiny child who can't understand why his favourites don't win; he just seems to think that his "brand" is somehow "enhanced" by pretending he's fighting for Beyonce's honour:

"Beck needs to respect artistry and he should've given his award to Beyonce."

Yeah, that's how awards work. It's like a fucking white elephant gift exchange. Perhaps they should just put all the prizes in a skip and let Kanye deliver them to the home of the person he decides is most worthy.

You know what? There's no need for the rest of us to tut at West, because Shirley Manson's taken him to pieces:

"Dear Kanye West,

"It is YOU who is so busy disrespecting artistry.

"You disrespect your own remarkable talents and more importantly you disrespect the talent, hard work and tenacity of all artists when you go so rudely and savagely after such an accomplished and humble artist like Beck.

"You make yourself look small and petty and spoilt.

"In attempting to reduce the importance of one great talent over another, you make a mockery of all musicians and music from every genre, including your own.

"Grow up and stop throwing your toys around.

"You are making yourself look like a complete twat.

"P.s. I am pretty certain Beyonce doesn't need you fighting any battles on her account. Seems like she's got everything covered perfectly well on her own."

You've got to admire the artistry in that.

There is a slight problem, though. This line:

In attempting to reduce the importance of one great talent over another, you make a mockery of all musicians and music from every genre, including your own

These are the Grammys you're talking about Shirley. The Grammys are pretty much an attempt by a jury to reduce the importance of one talent over another (or Sam Smith, sometimes).

Ultimately, it's all a dog-and-pony show. West might have behaved like an out-of-towner, his timing is poor and his approach gauche, but isn't half the reason the big awards shows attract television coverage and sponsorship is because people feel invested enough in them to talk about whether the right person won? West's problem is he forgot he was part of the awards machine, not that he prefers Beyonce to Beck.

Grammys 2015: Sam Smith scoops an armful

Perhaps it's unsurprising that the BAFTAs were lumbered with Kasabian, as it was also Grammys night, with the American recording industry making it Sam Smith's night.

Yes, that's where the bar is set these days.

At least you can kind of see why Smith got given four prizes. But Beck picking up best rock album of 2014? There are people who only ever buy their records from Target who might raise an eyebrow at that. It's curious that Beck took the mainstream rock album award, while St Vincent won in the alternative rock category; I'm not sure either sits particularly comfortably in the bucket into which they've been tossed.

Likewise, the Tony Bennett/Lady GaGa album gets "traditional pop vocal album" - to be fair, pairing a classic artist with a pop star who has just edged past their peak for a Christmas stocking stuffer record is now a tradition, but it doesn't feel right to be giving them a prize for it.

The real scandal, though, is that Shake It Off was eligible for everything (even in 1989 wasn't) and yet - apart from getting a mention in the list of credits which won Max Martin producer of the year - not a bite.

Now, it could be that people believe anything Sam Smith has done is better than Shake It Off. It's more likely Taylor Swift is being punished for having the temerity to question the deals struck by the music industry with the streaming services.

Sam Smith, then, has won his prizes for not causing a fuss both on and off record. It's a double.

Probably the only prize which lands successfully is Clean Bandit getting best dance record for Rather Be. But I probably only think that because I don't listen to as much dance music as I should.

Here's the winners in full, then:

Record of the Year
Sam Smith – "Stay With Me (Darkchild Version)"
Steve Fitzmaurice, Rodney Jerkins & Jimmy Napes, producers; Steve Fitzmaurice, Jimmy Napes & Steve Price, engineers/mixers; Tom Coyne, mastering engineer Label: Capitol Records; Publishers: Sony/ATV Songs LLC obo Naughty Worlds Ltd./Universal-Polygram Int. Tunes, Inc. obo Salli Isaak Songs, Ltd./Universal Polygram Int. Tunes, Inc. obo Method Paperwork

Song of the Year
Sam Smith - "Stay With Me (Darkchild Version)"
James Napier, William Phillips & Sam Smith, songwriters

Album of the Year
Beck - Morning Phase
Beck Hansen, producer; Tom Elmhirst, David Greenbaum, Florian Lagatta, Cole Marsden Greif-Neill, Robbie Nelson, Darrell Thorp, Cassidy Turbin & Joe Visciano, engineers/mixers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer

Best New Artist
Sam Smith

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
A Great Big World With Christina Aguilera - "Say Something"

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga - Cheek To Cheek

Best Pop Solo Performance
Pharrell Williams - "Happy"

Best Pop Vocal Album
Sam Smith - In The Lonely Hour

SIDEBAR
Sam Smith 22 Things We Learned Hanging Out With Sam Smith »
Best Rock Performance
Jack White - "Lazaretto"

Best Rock Album
Beck - Morning Phase

Best Rock Song
Paramore - "Ain't It Fun"
Hayley Williams & Taylor York, songwriters

Best Alternative Rock Album
St. Vincent - St. Vincent

Best Metal Performance
Tenacious D - "The Last In Line"

Best Rap Performance
Kendrick Lamar - "I"

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Eminem Featuring Rihanna - "The Monster"

Best Rap Song
Kendrick Lamar - "I"
K. Duckworth & C. Smith, songwriters

Best Rap Album
Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP2

Best R&B Performance
Beyoncé Featuring Jay Z – "Drunk In Love"

Best Traditional R&B Performance
"Jesus Children"
Robert Glasper Experiment Featuring Lalah Hathaway & Malcolm-Jamal Warner

SIDEBAR
morrissey 25 Artists Who Have Never Won a Grammy »
Best R&B Song
Beyoncé Featuring Jay Z - "Drunk In Love"
Shawn Carter, Rasool Diaz, Noel Fisher, Jerome Harmon, Beyoncé Knowles, Timothy Mosely, Andre Eric Proctor & Brian Soko, songwriters

Best Urban Contemporary Album
Pharrell Williams - Girl

Best R&B Album
Toni Braxton & Babyface - Love, Marriage & Divorce

Best Contemporary Instrumental Album
Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bass & Mandolin

Best Dance/Electronic Album
Aphex Twin - Syro

Best Dance Recording
Clean Bandit Featuring Jess Glynne - "Rather Be"

Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media
Frozen
Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez, Tom MacDougall & Chris Montan, compilation producers

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Alexandre Desplat, composer

Best Song Written for Visual Media
"Let It Go" from Frozen
Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez, songwriters (Idina Menzel)

Best Country Album
Miranda Lambert - Platinum

SIDEBAR
Barack Obama 20 People You Won't Believe Have Grammys »
Best Country Solo Performance
Carrie Underwood - "Something In The Water"

Best Country Duo/Group Performance
The Band Perry - "Gentle On My Mind"

Best Country Song
"I'm Not Gonna Miss You"
Glen Campbell & Julian Raymond, songwriters (Glen Campbell)

Best Bluegrass Album
The Earls Of Leicester - The Earls Of Leicester

Best American Roots Performance
Rosanne Cash - "A Feather's Not A Bird"

Best American Roots Song
Rosanne Cash - "A Feather's Not A Bird"

Best Americana Album
Rosanne Cash - The River & The Thread

Best Folk Album
Old Crow Medicine Show - Remedy

Best Music Video
Pharrell Williams - "Happy"

Best Music Film
20 Feet From Stardom
Darlene Love, Merry Clayton, Lisa Fischer & Judith Hill
Morgan Neville, video director; Gil Friesen & Caitrin Rogers, video producers
We Are From LA, video director; Kathleen Heffernan, Solal Micenmacher, Jett Steiger, video producers

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical
Max Martin
"Bang Bang" (Jessie J, Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj)
"Break Free" (Ariana Grande Featuring Zedd)
"Dark Horse" (Katy Perry Featuring Juicy J)
"Problem" (Ariana Grande Featuring Iggy Azalea)
"Shake It Off" (Taylor Swift)
"Unconditionally" (Katy Perry)

SIDEBAR
Taylor Swift How 2015's Record of the Year Nominees Stack Up »
Best Instrumental Composition
John Williams - "The Book Thief"

Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Cappella
Pentatonix - "Daft Punk"

Best Arrangement, Instrumental and Vocals
Billy Childs - "New York Tendaberry"

Best Recording Package
Jeff Ament, Don Pendleton, Joe Spix & Jerome Turner, art directors
Pearl Jam - Lightning Bolt

Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package
Susan Archie, Dean Blackwood & Jack White, art directors
The Rise & Fall Of Paramount Records, Volume One (1917-27)

Best Album Notes
Ashley Kahn
John Coltrane - Offering: Live At Temple University

Best Historical Album
Colin Escott & Cheryl Pawelski, compilation producers; Michael Graves, mastering engineer
Hank Williams - The Garden Spot Programs, 1950

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical
Beck - Morning Phase
Tom Elmhirst, David Greenbaum, Florian Lagatta, Cole Marsden Greif-Neill, Robbie Nelson, Darrell Thorp, Cassidy Turbin & Joe Visciano, engineers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer

Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical
Tijs Michiel Verwest, remixer
John Legend – "All Of Me (Tiesto's Birthday Treatment Remix)"

Best Surround Sound Album
Beyoncé - Beyoncé
Elliot Scheiner, surround mix engineer; Bob Ludwig, surround mastering engineer; Beyoncé Knowles, surround producer

Best Regional Roots Music Album
Jo-El Sonnier - The Legacy

Best Reggae Album
Ziggy Marley - Fly Rasta

Best World Music Album
Angelique Kidjo - Eve

Best Children's Album
Neela Vaswani - I Am Malala: How One Girl Stood Up For Education And Changed The World (Malala Yousafzai)

Best Musical Theatre Album
Beautiful: The Carole King Musical
Jessie Mueller, principal soloist; Jason Howland, Steve Sidwell & Billy Jay Stein, producers (Carole King, composer & lyricist) (Original Broadway Cast)

Best Blues Album
Johnny Winter - Step Back

Best Spoken Word Album
Joan Rivers - Diary Of A Mad Diva

Best Comedy Album
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Mandatory Fun

Best New Age Album
Ricky Kej & Wouter Kellerman - Winds Of Samsara

Best Improved Jazz Solo
Chick Corea - "Fingerprints"

Best Jazz Vocal Album
Dianne Reeves - Beautiful Life

Best Jazz Instrumental Album
Chick Corea Trio - Trilogy

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album
Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band - Life In The Bubble

Best Latin Jazz Album
Arturo O'Farrill & The Afro Latin Jazz Orchestra - The Offense Of The Drum

BAFTAs 2015: The big story

Okay, the real big story of the night was how badly Paddington got robbed. But the second biggest thing at the BAFTA last night was the painful Kasabian peformance. Even someone who can't really understand what function it is Kasabian deliver, it was hard not to feel for them.

The sound was dreadful; the mixing in of film effects and dialogue swamped their wheezy rock giving the impression of a million people watching YouTube clips while they were trying to play. The decision to end on a kid saying "that was amazing" (or awesome, or something of that nature) provided an unintended boom-tssh for a song played to a room of people sat in chairs, stock still, trying to look polite. Kudos to the director, scanning the crowd for someone, anyone, even moving their head just a little.

In a room that was both a cacophony and arctic-silent at once, Serge's decision to wear a tshirt with the words "black tie" on it didn't help. An empty gesture at once lazy and disdainful of the audience, the audience responded in kind.

Still, Stephen Fry got them a nice round of applause as he started the task of picking the thing up off the floor.

This week just gone

Ten years ago: The most-read February 2005 stories:

1. Grammys 2005: Good news for dead people
2. T-Mobile slag off their own product to dissassociate it from Fred Durst's sex tape
3. Brits Liveblog: In which Angels is declared best song in 25 years. Not by us, obviously
4. NME Awards: Paul McCartney was the best thing ever in 2004
5. Sony announces copyprotection tightening, but promise tracks will play in boomboxes
6. Max Carlish on Pete Doherty and the drugs
7. RIP: Nick Kilroy
8. Turns out Britney didn't do a nude photo shoot without anyone noticing
9. Brits - early results
10. Jesus, did we really write so much about the Jackson trial?

These dribbled out this week:


Luke Haines - Adventures In Dementia

Download Adventures In Dementia



Say Lou Lou - Lucid Dreaming



Ty Segall - Live In San Francisco

Download Live In San Francisco

What the pop papers say: Toffs

The New Statesman which, erm, went off the newstands yesterday (No Rock & Roll Fun - last with the news) splashed the Blunt/Bryant 'posh people in the arts' story all over the cover, with contributions from Stuart Maconie and Robert Webb, and - more interestingly - some actual people who make music giving their perspectives.

Johnny Marr actually tried to shift the debate from background to the actual music world; record companies no longer sign up young bands with a view to long-term investment, and:

The worst part of this is the 'pay to play' culture [which] means bands have to hand over cash for 50 or more tickets or pay for whatever tickets they haven't sold, leaving many of them lose heart.
[...]
This is what's happening to young musicians all over the UK, and it doesn't matter what school you went to or what your parent's background is.

Marr is furiously committed to this idea - that background isn't important; it seems partly driven by a desperation to prove that his success wasn't aided by coming from a working-class background when that was supposed to open doors at record company offices.

But it misses the point by a Morrissey and a half - if the only way you can get gigs when you're 18, 19, 20 is by effectively bribing the venue to let you play; if your time 'paying your dues' also involves paying out hard cash, of course the family you come from is significant.

It's not just that coming from a cosier background means a parent might feel willing to dip into the Spanish villa fund to make up shortfalls on ticket sales but also the amount of time families can invest in, say, driving young musicians to rehearsal or a gig. Come to that, if you're growing up in a house which has a large garage to rehearse in, you might have a brick-built advantage over a kid with same amount of raw talent living in a two bed maisonette with neighbours who pound the walls the third time you try to work out a new song.

In sport, there's a suggestion that nurturing the success of a talented youngster can consumer about 12% of family resources; there's no reason why auditions and guitar strings are any less onerous demands than competition and racquet restringing.

You ain't no Shirley Bassey

Is there anything more likely to turn your whole body in on itself than the sight of those adverts movie companies place trying to get votes from Oscars judges?

Oh, hang on, there is. A new level of cringe:

Dear @007 Ive been waiting patiently to be able to sing the next theme.I was BORN to do it.Please don't give it to someone else again!

— Paloma Faith (@Palomafaith) February 6, 2015

I don't think they choose the Bond theme that way, Paloma.

Rule of thumb: If a medium won't work when you post 'OMG HARRY STYLES MARRY ME', it probably isn't the best place to audition for a high profile job. Except that time Mark Carney did '@georgeosborne I could so be Bank Boss have got new calculater ;)'

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Looking at Kim Sears' chest

The appearance of Kim Sears at Andy Murray's Australian Open final wearing a Parental Advisory shirt (following being caught on camera swearing like a Gamergater spotting a feminist) was a good joke.

And what do you do with a good joke? Why, you analyse to death. Hence, the BBC used the shirt as a leaping-off point for a piece about the Parental Advisory logo.

And who better to share a thought or two about something music-related than Gennaro Castaldo, once HMV's homme de pensee, now installed on the South Bank as BPI's thought monarch:

But Gennaro Castaldo from the BPI admits that the label can undermine its own purpose. "Yes, there is that badge of honour aspect to it," he says. "The impulse behind it is to make parents and consumers aware of the content but it does have a dual effect - after all we've all been teenagers driven by a need to be anti-establishment and anti-parents. That's not going to change."

It makes you wonder what Gennaro's anti-establishment teenage years were like - sticking out press releases without notes for editors, perhaps. "Screw you mom, screw you dad, I'm not going to indicate where more follows and there's not a thing you can do about it."

I'm not sure Gennaro's statement makes much sense - if parents are seeing a sticker and going 'ooh, this is a rude record, I shall not buy it' and teenagers are seeing a sticker and going 'ooh this is a rude record, I shall buy it', I don't think that's a dual effect; it's alerting both sets of passers-by that there is a rude record on sale.

Obviously Gennaro knows in his heart that most teenagers will see a CD carrying a parental advisory sticker not in a shop as they go about making music purchases, but as they go through their parent's record collection going 'so you had to put these in, what, a BluRay machine? Is that how it worked?'

To be fair, not all youngsters wouldn't recognise a disc if it was sharpened to a point and used to slice their modish beards off. There's the subset of The Kids buying vinyl, and it was this "trend" thatsaw the Telegraph seeking Castaldo's counsel. What's going on, asked the Telegraph:

Vinyl-record sales are booming, too. Last year they hit an estimated 1.2 million – the highest for 20 years, and a five-fold increase since 2008. Threatened by seemingly superior technologies, the old discs seemed headed for extinction, but – as with books – it is the “soul” of vinyl that has been its salvation.

In particular, fans like the covers – once an art genre in their own right and now being rediscovered by a new generation. “They are one of the key reasons people are buying vinyl again,” says Gennaro Castaldo of the British Phonographic Industry. “They help to transform a record into an artefact fans like to own and collect.”

Yeah. What Castaldo doesn't warn The Kids is that when they come to move out of their parent's homes, the purchase of vinyl is going to add boxes and boxes of weight to every time they shift from house to house in the future. Good luck with that, The Kids.