Goodness - the 3AM column online before lunchtime. And with an eyecatching headline, too:
What can that possibly mean?
Her new house has what?
The truth, as ever, turns out to be quite dull:
And it gets worse. They are arranged in a horizontal missionary position... Yep, bonking bones! We're spooked too.
But arranging skeletons as if they were having sex (the sort of thing that most people get out their system by about the age of 15) isn't anything to do with an X-Ray, is it?
Still, it gives Kate's guest the collywobbles:
Who would be freaked out by discovering skeletons in a hallway? Unless you were off your tree on drugs of some sort, wouldn't you... oh, hang on.
Apparently it gets worse - although, to be honest, this sounds like the sort of thing that a newspaper might make up to fill out a story:
"Kate's so chuffed with them she's asked her PA to get her another couple to go in her Cotswolds retreat," adds our source.
"She wants to paint one set with her face beaming down and the other with Jamie's mug. It'll look hilarious."
Can you imagine Kate Moss' head perched on top of body with absolutely no flesh on it whatsoever?