Michael Jackson remembered: That was easy

Well, the one inarguable thing about today's event was that Staples could never have imagined naming rights for that building was going to succeed in pulling down so much worldwide advertising.

I'll bet, though, there's someone in a Staples Marketing Office who's spent the week trying to get the name changed to something with even more of a sales message - The Five-For-Four Gel Pens At Staples Arena, perhaps.

If you set aside the creepy and pointless dragging out of some random kid from Britain's Got Talent to speak on behalf of "everybody" in the world - like Torchwood in reverse - and the actually quite affecting (and totally inappropriate) wheeling on of the kids to try and push a cynical marketing exercise beyond criticism, what this memorial really did was to ease a world's tight shoes. For the last week and a half, it's been trumpeted almost every time a newsreader sat down that Jackson was the greatest performer in the world. And most of us have sat there thinking "well... no, but..." desperately trying to recall a name that trumped him. One that everyone would agree on, obviously - I mean, Harvey from Another Sunny Day might be demonstrably better, but would not be a convincing answer for a pub debate.

Stevie Wonder. Smokey Robinson.

The tips of our tongue have been relieved of two unquestionable answers.

Interestingly, Stevie Wonder also was a child star who had to overcome enormous odds. And made some dreadful records, too, it's fair to say - especially when he rolled out his social conscience. Don't Drive Drunk, anyone? But Wonder has managed to not retreat into chimpanzee-befriending sideshow attention-seeking and has, with his campaigning on Aids and MLK Day, made a genuine and measurable difference to the world. Yet, despite all that, it's unlikely the BBC will clear a channel for live coverage of his send off.

Jermaine Jackson off Big Brother got to do a song, too; he wore a single glove, in a touching tribute to Lily Allen's Glastonbury outfit. It's always the single glove, isn't it? Wouldn't you have loved it if Usher had turned up made up like a zombie. As a tribute.

The speakers veered between the sort of anecdotes that would get jeered at a Fred Flinstone roast (Brooke Shields' memories of having laugh-offs are the sort of memories which are best enjoyed by those who were there) and the completely overstated. Al Sharpton can't help himself, I know, but you'd have hoped for better from the Luther King Kids. But no, they continued to add to the overwrought "he was the King Of Pop" gushing - proving, I suppose, that a pair of Kings can't beat a royal flush.

The oddest note was when some sportsbloke - Magic Johnson from basketball and sponsored shoes - proudly trilled that the Guinness Book Of Records had an entry for Jackson being the pop star who supported the most charities. Is that a real category? Is there a similar record for the basketball player who supports the most charities? Is there some sort of rule about how much they have to give, or could one of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs take the record by slipping ten cents in every collecting box in every newsagents in London?

The claims that he was a great, charitable man were somewhat undermined by the grandiose television special marking his passing; any last veracity in claims to put others before himself probably vanished when the gold-plated coffin came back in to shot.

Twittergem: Charlie Brooker

Much will be written about Jackson's funeral. But @charltonbrooker nails it in 140 characters or less:

This is what the televised coronation of God would look like.

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet - Amanda Palmer

Emily White talks to Hypebot about Amanda Palmer and her audience:

The attendance at those shows spiked in 2006 when a few Dolls songs were receiving airplay. Awesome, right? Well, now it's 2009 and we've returned to some of those markets. Many of those radio fans don't turn up anymore. Yet, the hardcores or "1000 true fans" are still there, just like they have been since they organically founded The Dresden Dolls back in the day. They still line up outside for hours, know every word of every song (whether or not it has been released), and wait around for Amanda's autograph. They don't need a top down marketing plan to tell them what to like. And who are the new hardcore Dolls/ Amanda fans? They are the younger siblings and friends of the original fans, who continue to spread the gospel about an artist who's work they love so much they can't not talk about.

I think major label marketing can be and is effective for the right kind of artist. But not with this fanbase, they are the definition of direct-to-fan. Of course expanding the audience is always a goal, but this is an artist whose fans don't need to see their hero in a magazine or hear a new song on the radio to keep them interested. Amanda will just email, tweet, or blog to them directly. And why not? The technology is there, so let's embrace it, not ignore it.

U2 push planet closer to the edge

Bono, we all know, loves for us all to know how much he loves the planet.

Except when he goes on tour, with the carbon footprint of the current tour massive enough to have got the band to Mars and back.

If it was just flying them to Mars, that might have been a effort worth expending. But, no, it could bring them back again.

City Talk not all about the talk

Sorry, I'm incredibly late with this story, but it's worth mentioning now anyway. Back on May 12th, Ofcom allowed Radio City's City Talk station abandon its all-talk format:

Station director, Richard Maddock said that the news was a relief:

“Ofcom’s decision is welcome news as it provides clarity. The team will now look at the business plan, review our current market situation and consider the implications of the Ofcom decision."

“On behalf of everyone at all the City stations, I’d like to thank Ofcom for their decision and also thank everyone that has supported our format change request through the 30 day public consultation period. Our commitment to quality, well-produced speech broadcasting at key parts of the day continues as before and we will continue to work hard to deliver the best talk-focused station.”

"Provides clarity"? As if the idea of an all-speech network wasn't, you know, quite clear in the first place?

The suspicion has to be that Bauer have pulled a fast one, pitching a format it knew wouldn't work (as it's already closed down City Talk once, when it was an AM station) in a bid to win the last licence; having closed down the prospect of serious competition for Radio City, it's now effectively watering down its talk station into a "speech-focused" product.

Part of the talk will be a nightly phone-in - which can be simulcast on Radio City. Two FM networks broadcasting the same thing in one city? Well done with the protecting media plurality, Ofcom.

Endless cycle

Oh, here's some good news:

Mark Lester - godparent to all three of the late singer's children, Prince Michael, 12, Paris, 11 and seven-year-old Prince Michael II, known as 'Blanket' - says Blanket has shown signs that he shares his dad's phenomenal talents.

Mark revealed: "Prince loved 'Thriller', Paris liked 'Smooth Criminal' best and Blanket adored them all. He could easily be the next Michael Jackson. He loved to dance with his dad and Michael taught him to do the moonwalk."

Ah, yes. What could be better than the godparent - whose child acting career led to a miserable era of addiction - suggesting that the kids of a bloke whose life was warped beyond belief by showbusiness be pushed into the same miserable cattle show?

1,000 songs everyone else says you should listen to

Have you ever wondered how someone goes about putting together something like 1000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (which would be a bloody long last request in itself, wouldn't it?)

Phawker spoke to the author Tom Moon:

The beginning phase was just a lot of list making. I made lists of everything I could think of, I consulted a lot of different lists that were already out there — every Mojo Best-Of list that was ever done, Q, all the British magazines — they do so many of them.

Aha. Looking ay everyone else's lists of the best songs ever. Funny thing, though, you might think that would tend to lead to every one of these exercises churning out pretty much the same songs over and over and over and over again.

Gordon in the morning: Deyn works through more indish bands

It's worth noting this morning that they've left the Bruno's Bizarre masthead on the front page of the Bizarre website this morning, leaving poor Gordon as little more than a walk-on in his own page.

The main story this morning is about Agyness Deyn and her habit of dating minor members of sort of indie bands, doing nothing to dispel the feeling that she's some of Kate Moss Historic Re-enactment Society.

Currently, it's Miles Kane from The Rascals, but Gordon has a list:

It’s like a Who’s Who of top bands including THE STROKES guitarist ALBERT HAMMOND JR, THE PADDINGTONS’ JOSH HUBBARD and PHANTOM PLANET’s ALEX GREENWALD.

Well, it's like a who's who of top bands in the sense that one of those would be a list of names of people who play instruments, too.

Smart has also got some special insight into this latest 'relationship':

A pal of the couple told me: “Miles and Agy get on like a house on fire and have a proper laugh. Miles bowled her off her feet. His pals ask about her but all he says is things are ‘boss’.

"They have passed the three-week mark now. He lives in Liverpool but has been in the Big Smoke charming the pants off her. She’s very down to earth. That’s her appeal.”

The last person to use the phrase "the Big Smoke" seriously was probably Mike Baldwin back when he was dating Bet Lynch. And even he was just saying words that someone else had put in his mouth.

Elsewhere, Sarah Harding is confidently predicting her acting won't be all Mariah Carey:

She said: "I don't want to try too much, too soon. I'm taking baby steps.

"I'm working my way into acting gradually - I don't want people to think that I'm just swanning in there.

"There is a stigma attached to people who go from singing to acting."

Presumably, then, that KitKat advert was the first baby step on a route to being Dandini at the Scarborough Empire in a couple of Christmases' time.

Hope springs again

Some good news buried in Rolling Stone's website, tucked away behind the Jackson coverage:

Sandoval is back. With her band Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions (which features My Bloody Valentine drummer Colm Ó Cíosóig), Sandoval is gearing up to release her second record since the act’s 2001 debut Bavarian Fruit Bread. The new disc Through the Devil Softly — out September 15th — is a lovely, 11-track collection of narcotic, folk tunes centered by Sandoval’s breathy, irresistible seductive croon. So what took so long? “I don’t really notice the time,” says Sandoval coyly. “We don’t keep track of the days and months. And the years.”

This is what they were like last time round:

Imbruglia campaigns against fistula

Natalie Imbruglia's call for the UN to do more about fistula is noteworthy in itself.

It's not enough for the Associated Press, though, which feels the need to somehow shunt one of her songs into the story:

In her most famous song, "Torn," Natalie Imbruglia sings of loneliness and shame.

They are feelings the Australian pop star is hoping to spare hundreds of thousands of women suffering with fistula.

If you had to make a weak link between a song and a medical condition, could there be any more ill-advised idea than to unite Torn and fistula?

Panic At The Disco split

Here's the thing: Panic At The Disco can split all they want:

We just wanted to let you know, that the news of Ryan and Jon leaving the band is unfortunately true. It’s been an amazing journey being in a band with them, but sometimes individual tastes take friends in different directions and you can’t ignore it. They are some of the most talented guys we know, and we’re sure that whatever they do next will be great. That said, Panic At The Disco is alive and very very well. We are working on new songs that we are excited for you to hear. Our dates
with Blink and Fall Out Boy start in a little less than a month, and we wouldn’t miss those for the world. We know everybody has a lot of questions at this point with everything being so out of the blue, most of those should be answered in the coming weeks. We appreciate every one of you, and hope you continue with us on this incredible ride.

Pay attention we have a surprise in store for you.

-Brendon and Spencer

PS we were cleaning out the practice space and you’ll never guess what we found!

But for all the talk of musical differences (presumably Ryan and Jon didn't want to be anywhere near Fall Out Boy) you just know that this merely means a special reunion tour in about three weeks or something similar.

In the meanwhile, I'll bet Brendon's delighted he gets to keep the drummer.

Republican Congressman calls for end to Jackson mourning

Worried that coverage of Michael Jackson's death is "too politically correct", , Republican Congressman Peter King has decided it's time to redress the balance:

Rep. Peter King, a Long Island Republican, said in the video posted Sunday that society is glorifying a "low-life" while hardworking teachers, police officers, firefighters and veterans don't get the credit they deserve.

"This guy was a pervert," King said in the video, shot Sunday by a staff member outside an American Legion hall. "He was a child molester. He was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what does it say about us as a country?"
[...]
But in a telephone interview Monday, King said that Jackson had "admitted to sleeping with young boys, traveling with young boys. ... That's the definition of pedophilia."

It's odd that King suddenly seems to have lost the courage of his convictions and has started to backtrack slightly from what he clearly meant, to what he can actually prove.

Still, it's amusing to think that somehow Al Sharpton can believe the media is being too harsh on Jackson, while King can equally stridently believe that it's giving him way too easy a ride.

King is considering seeking the GOP nomination for the U.S. Senate seat held by Democratic Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, which is up in 2010.

He said he has posted other Internet videos on issues such as cap-and-trade legislation to control pollution, but those videos did not receive as much attention as the Michael Jackson comments have.

Whoever would have thought?

Also doing well from Jackson's death

Something called WONMP pushes a press release us at:

This last week www.wonmp.us set new all-time records for web traffic. Our article on What Really Killed Michael Jackson was picked-up by several major news stations, resulting in massive website visits. It is our hope that the article will help "steer" those that suffer from unmanaged stress to seek safe, natural help.

A massive website visit? Is that one where the screen resolution is 5000 x 5000? "Yeah, it did less well on the small mobile screens, but on massive website visits, it was brilliant."

Still, good of WONMP to pat themselves on the back for having jumped so quickly on the corpse.

By the way, WONMP have pre-empted your objection that they can't possibly know what really killed Michael Jackson by waving away such objections as unimportant:

The toxicology report is not yet in because Michael's autopsy is only now being scheduled, but that matters not. What matters is the knowledge that a human heart is designed to operate much longer than 50 years unless impeded in some way.

Yes, yes, let's not detain ourselves waiting for facts.

Also turning a few quid is Bauer Magazines, who are resurrecting Smash Hits. How better to homage a dead man than a dead magazine?

Normally, we'd be excited by the idea of a classic-era Smash Hits revival - even if it was only going to be about Michael Jackson, but as far as I can see there's nobody from the glory days of Smash Hits involved, so this is less a revival than some sort of freaky reanimation of a stolen corpse. And I bet it's not going to be sarky and fun and like Smash Hits was when Jackson was alive.

Update: Popjustice have more on the Smash Hits revival, and apparently Barry McIlheney is editing the Smash Hits. So it's decline-of-empire phase SH then. [Thanks to anonymous commenter for the tip]

Los Campesinos on tour

Yes, yes, LC! are heading off out. These are the dates:

Coventry Kasbah (October 21)
Southampton Joiners (22)
Exeter Phoenix (23)
Cardiff The Gate (24)
Manchester Deaf Institute (26)
Newcastle University (27)
London Garage (28)
Oxford Zodiac (29)
Leeds Cockpit (30)
Glasgow King Tut's Wah Wah Hut (31)

They really should give Manda Rin a support slot, don't you think?

Al Sharpton banging on about Jackson

It must be hard for Al Sharpton, watching the death of Michael Jackson. After all, Jacko's period of being any good is as firmly in the past as Sharpton's period of being taken seriously. So perhaps Sharpton sees his current round of honking stupidly into microphones as his farewell tour, too:

"I'm here because of the disgraceful and the despicable way [the media] is trying to destroy the legacy [of Jackson]," Sharpton said.

"You have had other entertainers that have had issues in their life; you [the media] did not degrade and denigrate them."

Sharpton called upon the media to show respect during the family's time of mourning. "Michael was no freak," he said. "He was a genius."

"We want love. That's what Michael Jackson sang about," Sharpton said. "Let's talk about love. Let the media deal with the mess, while we deal with the message."

Is it just me, or did he say the media should leave Jackson alone, and then tell them to "deal with the mess"?

Still, Sharpton has a point, doesn't he? After all, it's not like the global media has been fawning over Jackson solidly for a week and a half now; and you certainly didn't see anyone mentioning the mafia business when Sinatra died, or repeatedly speculating over Presley's secret love for saturated fat within seconds of Elvis sliding the 'Engaged' sign for the very last time, is it?

The Feeling is slow

The Feeling are afraid they might lose some of their magic if, you know, they rush things. Oh, yes, it's slow building from The Feeling:

Dan Gillespie-Sells said: "We are really going to take our time with it. I don't want to put it out for a while. We should have it out by 2010, otherwise it will be too soon.

"Other countries are only just hearing our second album now. I don't think we should rush these things. I don't want to be one of those bands who are constantly releasing stuff all the time."

Dan, you do realise that 2010 is now only a handful of months away? (Seriously, the Speke Crowne Plaza has got its 'book now for Christmas' banners out.) But don't let us rush you. No, really, don't let us rush you. Are you sure 2010 isn't too soon? Maybe you should wait until every country has had a chance to hear your second album - you know, you wouldn't want to be in the studio until the Burmese and North Koreans have had a chance to walk past a display of your records and said "oh, did they make another one?"

Book some studio space towards the middle of the 2020s. Take it real slow. You owe it to us. Erm, to yourself.

Darkness at 3AM: Kelly Osbourne still waiting for sense of irony to arrive

The 3AM Girls don't seem to spot the mote and/or beam as Kelly Osbourne shares her insight into Lady GaGa:

"She's a Butter Face. She has everything But the face. She reminds me of Peaches Geldof.

"I love Lady GaGa's track's but I just wish she'd keep her mouth shut.

"She talks way too much and has too much attitude. It's starting to make me go off her."

In response to a follow-up question, Osbourne revealed "yes, all our mirrors have disappeared. How did you know?"

Gordon in the morning: Optimus Prime was busy

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. This morning, Bizarre is guest-edited by Sacha Baron Cohen in his guise as Bruno. It's a crazy inversion of everything we've come to expect from Bizarre - a straight man pretending to be gay running articles that are intentionally trite and meaningless. A complete inversion.

Opinion is divided on Bruno, as to whether it's a comedy which satirizes homophobes and racists, or if it's actually a bunch of racist and homophobic stereotyping that is Making Some Sort Of Point. I wonder if this large advert for the film will clarify matters?

EMINEM pretended he'd never had a guy so close before at ze MTV Movie Awards.

But vhen I vas down zere soon ze real Slim Shady began to stand up.

Ich vould love to get zat vay mit BRYAN ADAMS.

Vould be real Summer Of 69.

Wow. This has got to be Baron Cohen's most searing satire since he dressed up in a shell suit and sunglasses to shock the world with the discovery that Sir Rhodes Byson didn't understand street slang. I mean, seriously:

"Paris Hilton is everything I despise in people. She dresses to get attention, she's a real name-dropper - Orlando Bloom told me zat. Und she is fame obsessed - she's alvays standing next to me on ze red carpet."

This is the sort of thing that Benny Hill was doing decades ago - although, to be fair, Hill would only have worn a neckerchief and a pastel shirt to be dressed up like a gay.

Doing well from Jackson's death

Obviously, people flogging off 'souvenir' issues of their magazines are doing nicely from the timely departure of Michael Jackson - in the sense of filling up the quiet summer lull. Leading the pack has been OK!, whose 'tribute' issue led with a photo of Jacko on a gurney, minutes from death, that Richard Desmond paid thousands and thousands for.

Scrabbling about throwing cash so you can reward photographers who imposed themselves on a dying man. That's quite a way of paying tribute, Desmond.

You'll recall that one of Desmond's other publications, the Daily Express, worked itself into quite a froth when Channel 4 ran a documentary which featured photographs taken during Diana's dying moments:

STOP THIS DISGUSTING INSULT TO DYING DIANA

Presumably it's somehow not disgusting when it's Jackson, for some reason.

Also doing rather nicely out of Jackson's death - British Airways. They're trilling delightedly to TMZ about how much cash they're making off the back of a dead man:

A rep from British Airways tells us there has been a "huge influx" of reservations in the last few days by people from England trying to make their way to the memorial. The rep says people are "flying as close to L.A. as they can and then taking connecting flights."

In addition to non-stop and direct flights to L.A., flights from Heathrow to San Francisco and from Heathrow to Denver are almost full.

The rep says they expect all flights -- direct and indirect -- to be sold out by the end of the day.

Not, of course, that they're rolling about in piles of cash and giggling, or anything.

Embed and breakfast man: MGMT

Back, then, from a weekend down memory lane - or down Lark Lane, certainly - and this catches my eye:



Yup, MGMT covering Til Tuesday. Whoever would have thought?

[Thanks to You Ain't No Picasso where I found this]


UPDATE: July 13th 2014...

Here's a different video which hasn't been removed by Google:

Brian May upset by something or other to do with Michael Jackson

I'm not entirely clear why Brian May has got such a hump on by the Jackson-Mercury tracks popping up on the web:

May revealed the existence of the songs earlier this week (begs29Jun09), saying, “He (Jackson) used to come and see us when we were on tour in the States. He and Freddie became close friends, close enough to record a couple of tracks together at Michael’s house, tracks which have never seen the light of day.”

But the rocker has been left incensed after two tunes by the pair, State Of Shock and There Must Be More To Life Than This, ended up on video sharing website YouTube.com.
He fumes, "The music thieves at work as usual."

I love the way ContactMusic explain what YouTube is, just in case you don't know.

Is May's hump as "music thieves" (who has actually stolen anything?) down to that now, when he goes "ha ha, there was a secret session no common folk have ever heard" people will go "actually, yeah, we have."

Soulja Boy: He's the rap Courtney Love

Soulja Boy has crashed onto his Twitter account in order to flirt with the idea that he might give up rapping:

The say Soulja Boy u changed. Soulja Boy u hollywood I aint ask for this SHIT!!!!!! I want to go back to how it was before i was signed

Give it eighteen months, chuckles. Give it eighteen months.

Soulja Boy later came to his senses (by which, I suspect, we mean "his manager intervened") and the long stream of pained tweets vanished, to be replaced with some sort of bot which goes "pow" at you if you follow him. For no good reason.

Gordon in the morning: Boosting brand Beckham

Ah, the decline of the brand, as Mr and Mrs Beckham are forced to do a crossover picture of themselves in their pants in the hope that the two of them will still have some novelty value.

Gordon Smart tries to make it seem exciting:

In one shot David - wearing just his Armani pants - lies under his wife as she seductively rests her hand on his bare chest.

But even Gordon knows that the photos are sexy only if you're turned on by the idea of two dead dollies lying on top of one another.

Even the link from the front of Bizarre tries to stifle a yawn:

Couple get their kit off AGAIN

Although, oddly, it's still Gordon's main story.

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet - George Lamb

Swineshead at Watch With Mothers observes as George Lamb attempts to make the leap from radio to making TV documentaries. Lamb stood between the cameras and the horizon for the clumsily titled Can I Get High Legally?:

He meets a 19 year old clubber called Tom and buys some ‘legals’ from a handful of shops in Camden. He then, sitting in a trendy Camden bar with Tom, expresses amazement that they were so easy to purchase. ‘It’s as simple as buying a bag of sweets’ he gasps, despite the fact that they’re called ‘legal highs’.

The clue, Mr Lamb, is in the fucking title.

But nobody in the shops wants to talk to the camera. Possibly because they hadn’t been asked in advance. Undeterred and hell-bent on fulfilling his contract lest he doesn’t get paid, Lamb logs on and checks a number of websites that sell the Legals. Quelle surprise! They’re proper websites! Lamb seems amazed that there are functioning areas of the internet selling this stuff - despite the fact that they’re FUCKING LEGAL!

Taxpayers Alliance reckon that you could do Glastonbury with three blokes and a steadicam

There's been some rumbling that the BBC somehow sent too many people to cover Glastonbury, because, well, 400 people sounds like a large number of people, doesn't it?

The Telegraph had fun with the story, but it seems to have first surfaced in the Standard last Friday when someone called Ben Bailey pretended that he didn't work in the media, and thus couldn't be expected to understand how many people you'd need to feed three separate TV networks, press red, and various TV channels large numbers of hours of coverage from a number of stages in a site the size of a small town.

Indeed, rather than go "they're taking 400 people for audio, video, production, lighting, rigging, running, liaison, production, generating power, playing out, transmission, editorial oversight on a massively complicated live event - wow, what a bloody brilliant feat of organisation" he got someone from the Taxpayer's Alliance to think about the number.

The Taxpayer's Alliance - whose only media experience seems to be from turning up in parts of it with space to fill - well, the reckon that 400 seems a lot, right:

Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: "I think the number of staff sent to Glastonbury does smack of it being more of a junket for BBC staff and presenters rather than a serious exercise. There's no way they would need 400 people to record and broadcast an event like Glastonbury.

"I'm afraid we've seen it in the past. At the Olympics there were more BBC staff than British athletes.

"We are seeing a trend here of BBC over-manning. When people combine that with the revelations of expenses last week, it shows the BBC is ready for some cuts."

"There's no way they would need 400 people" - how many, then, Matthew? Six? Two? Thirteen? Forty-seventy-twelve? If those 400 people were there on a junket, who was putting out the hours of broadcasting? Did Elliott even realise the event was being broadcast live?

Bailey decides to chip in, even if it risks making him look a bit of an idiot:

The broadcasts from the festival included Gabby Logan's show on BBC Radio 5 Live - a station known for its focus on news and sport rather than music.

This, presumably, in much the same way that the Standard is known for the desperate men stood outside tube stations trying to give the bloody things away at ten at night rather than the quality of its reporting.

Bailey, presumably, doesn't think that a major cultural event magicking the biggest town in the South West aside from Bristol from thin air isn't a news story; nor, indeed, can he ever have heard Five Live - a station whose news remit includes entertainment stories and whose film reviews are its most popular podcast.

James P - to whom thanks for the story - reckons there might be a need for more BBC staff:

If anything they should've employed more people, specifically someone to sit next to Jo Whiley in the six months before and after the event, poking her in the ribs and saying "Shhh - It's not *that* interesting" every tenth Glastonbury mention.

Personally, I think the Taxpayer's Alliance is overstaffed. They surely don't need any people at all to do what they do; all you need is a bran tub and a box of cut-up Daily Mail editorials and journalists could assemble their responses on the TA's behalf.

U2 waving into space

More coverage of the start of the U2 tour, with the Guardian reading the Spanish press, who seem bedazzled by Bono's wiles:

Spanish reviewers were overwhelmed by the "rock power" display and struggled desperately to interpret the message in a show that featured astronauts, a video of Desmond Tutu, football, and, significantly, a Michael Jackson tribute, with Bono dedicating Angel of Harlem to the King of Pop, before playing Man In the Mirror and Don't Stop Till You Get Enough.

"This is rock designed to move both mountains and consciousnesses," concluded El Periódico newspaper.

The conversation between Bono and the space station commander was perhaps the most bizarre element of the evening. "Commander, can you see Barcelona?" Bono asked the man floating near the microphone. "Right now, the most beautiful sight in our cosmos is the blue planet earth," came the answer.

"We must look very insignificant from up there," noted the critic for El País newspaper.

It's unclear if he means from space, or from whatever ego-cloud Bono is sitting on.

Trouble is, with all this guff - designed to showcase how powerful Bono is and what his connections can do - they seem to overlooked one key aspect of a gig: being any good at music:

Most disappointing for El Pais readers was Bono fluffing two classics, One and With or Without You.

"The truth is that it was disappointing, especially compared to previous tours, full of mistakes and bad songs (from the last album)," said Alex, a reader-reviewer for El País. "To say that Bono wrecked two major songs like One and With or Without You tells you more than enough."

But who cares, eh? Look! Look! It's a spaceman on a telephone!

[Thanks to James M for the story]

BBC News defends Jackson coverage

As with any major news story, there are questions over how much coverage the news organisations should give to it, and there have been grumblings that the BBC did too much about Michael Jackson's death.

Mary Hockaday has blogged a response on the BBC Editor's site:

Some stories divide audiences, and clearly there are those who aren't interested in Michael Jackson. But we have to try to serve a whole range of readers, listeners and viewers - and undoubtedly a great many of you were extremely interested.

The audiences to our main television bulletins were a little higher than average for a Friday evening and the statistics for our online content broke records: more than 8.2m global unique users, the second highest since Obama's election. The BBC News mobile site had its biggest-ever figures on Friday.

Hockaday, though, seems to be answering a different charge - should the BBC have covered the story at all - to the one she sets out to deal with - should the BBC have done as much.

I doubt if there's anyone who would argue that Jackson's death should not have been on the news, and very few would be able to suggest that the story shouldn't have been a lead. And, unquestionably, there was a desire to know from the public.

The question is if the 'desire to know' was in balance with the 'amount to tell' - given that BBC News Channel astons were still trying to portray 'Jackson dead' as breaking news during elevenses on Friday, it might be fair to suggest that there was, by then, a shortage of actual information to impart might mean a slightly less steely gaze should have been fixed on the expired man.

EMI reject new PRS streaming rate

Uh-oh - more trouble as the music industry tries to pretend that infinite supply won't drive down prices. EMI publishing have refused to accept the hard-won new PRS rate for online streaming, and so henceforward will opt out of having PRS collect their royalty earnings for them.

"We are not currently satisfied that the new rates - in particular the minima - proposed by PRS for Music for streaming services are appropriate", said EMI Music Publishing's general counsel for Europe Antony Bebawi.

Quite how EMI hopes to get any value from collecting its own royalties isn't clear - even at the old rate of 0.22p a stream, without the bulk processing power of a central clearing house it's arguable that EMI will wind up with even less than at the new PRS minimum rate of 0.085p by the time they've added on their administration costs.

It's also absurd because EMI are behaving as if the PRS organisation are the sort to have accepted a crappy deal. Given that at the start of negotiations the PRS were every bit as gung-ho and unrealistic as EMI are being now, you might think that someone might have worked out that 0.085p is all there is on the table.

Jammie Thomas fights on

Presumably she's aware that she's not going to get the guilty verdict changed, but Jammie Thomas Rasset is going to appeal the judgement against her in the recent RIAA court case. The focus is going to be on the size of the damages.

The RIAA is making 'well, if you wish...' noises:

"The defendant can of course exercise her legal rights," said Jonathan Lamy, an RIAA spokesman. "But what's increasingly clear, now more than ever, is that she is the one responsible for needlessly prolonging this case and refusing to accept any responsibility for the illegal activity that two juries decisively found her liable for. From day one, we've been fair and reasonable in exercising our rights and attempting to resolve this case."

... of course, the last thing the RIAA wants is the punitive damages being declared unconstitutional; that could unpick what remains of their legal attacks on their customers. If they could only expect reasonable damages, the legal threat would become a lot less scary.

One of the Jonas Brothers engaged, it says here

Haircut Jonas, the most eyebrowed of The Jonas Brothers, has arranged to appear in a special souvenir edition of Us Weekly.

Haircut told reporters "It's going to be hard deciding if my brother SlightlyWacky Jonas or my other brother Booklearning Jonas will get to stand on my left in the photos. I figure the one who doesn't stand on my left could stand on the other side... the... uh... unleft side."

Haircut has been dating his fiancee since a Disney executive told him "we want to stop those 'Haircut is gay' rumours before they start".

It's hoped that Haircut Jonas' godfather, restaurateur Chuck E. Chesse, will be present at the ceremony.

Gordon in the morning: A beautiful day

You know what Gordon loves? Writing lots and lots and lots about Michael Jackson?

You know what else Gordon loves? Fawning over Bono.

With the first night of U2's world tour, Gordon gets to do both:

And they used the occasion to pay a surprise tribute to King Of Pop MICHAEL JACKSON.

Singer Bono dedicated Angel Of Harlem, originally written about BILLIE HOLIDAY, to Jacko, saying: "We met Michael Jackson many times over the years and he was an unspeakable talent."

Personally, I'd have tried to come up with a form of words which didn't leave it open to the interpretation that I thought he was unspeakably bad, but I guess it's the thought that counts.

Fall Out Boy need space

I know, you've been worried - all those rumours Fall Out Boy were about to split. It's disturbing. What if you had a product you needed to sell to preteen boys? How would you launch it without a Fall Out Boy video to place your goods into?

Relax, though, they're not splitting up:

"I think I fueled that [rumor] accidentally," Wentz said. "I think that when someone asked me if we were working on any new Fall Out Boy songs, I said, 'No, not right now.'

Wentz said doesn't think that there's an endless demand for FOB. "I don't know that the world has to be all Fall Out Boy, all the time. When I see stuff like that with other bands, it sort of drives me crazy."

Instead, the band is taking the time "to breathe" between albums, though they continue to tour together and work on other projects.

Ah, yes. Leave a space between albums. Relese them too closely together, and people might start to notice they're all much of a muchness.

US turn off TV

TV Smith was meant to be playing the US with Jay Reatard from tonight. But US immgration gas thwarted him - and not because they don't want an old punk in their nation; it's just a paperwork snafu, he says:

I'm sorry to have to report that due to problems with US immigration I'm unable to come over for the tour with Jay Reatard due to start today. Despite having my visa approved, delays at the US embassy in London mean it couldn't be ratified in time. I've had quite a lot of feedback from people looking forward to seeing me, so I'm bitterly disappointed to miss the gigs in Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland and my first ever Canadian gigs in Toronto and Montreal. I hope to come back soon and play for you. The good new is, the way things are looking I'll be seeing the embassy next week and hope to rejoin the tour in Brooklyn on the 2nd July. Keep your fingers crossed...!
Best wishes,
TV

Not quite sure why a US paperwork problem is keeping him out of the Canadian dates, mind.

We name the spam bands: The Used

Blimey, it's been a while since this category was opened up. And, you know, one over-excited irrelevant posting about how the great new The Used single was great, and new, and oh, here's the URL for it - one, we'd overlook. But two comment-spams pushing the same band? That's just taking the piss.

MTV has a new look for the few people still looking

There's been an overhaul done of the MTV onscreen look, which Creative Review covers extensively.

This caught my eye, though:

We use the word refresh rather than rebrand as the MTV logo is still recognisable - the new logo (above) is, in fact, the old logo - but in MTV's new look, the logo remains black on a white ground - no colour, pattern or texture will ever adorn it - which is a change from MTV of old where the idents were based on the logo being played around with.

"Now the logo is sacred," says Roberto Bagatti, Vice President of Creative for MTV Networks International and Creative Director of MTV's World Design Studio in Milan, who oversaw the project.

This is probably more significant than even Bagatti realises. The days when the MTV logo might suddenly pulse, or turn into a plasticine replica of itself, or start writhing with snakes were days when MTV was surprising, and fresh, and experimented.

Now, it's got a fixed logo. Nobody is allowed to play with it. As visual refreshes go, has there ever been one that so succinctly summed up what's wrong with a channel?

Thinking thins over

According to Sky News, the world has spoken of little lately, save for Courtney Love's weight:

Courtney Love's weight loss has recently provoked headlines.

Recent pics of the gaunt star shocked fans the world over.

Betserai Gonorashe, chair of the Zimbabwean chapter of the Courtney Love fanclub, confirms that the shock was felt "the world over". "Yes, it's true - we were shocked. It might be thought that the only real reaction to the photos was felt in newspaper and magazine offices in London and New York, and that the reaction was 'oh, good, that's the pages where we hector women about being totally the wrong weight filled for this week, then', but no. Like our sister chapters in Santiago, Manilla and Chepstow. They were equally shocked. The guys in Vladivostok said they saw it coming, but they're full of it."

Anyway, Courtney has now joined in:

Now Courtney herself has spoken out about her weight.

Has she "spoken out"? Or has she merely spoken about it?

"I know I've got too skinny.

"I know those pictures of me are going everywhere. I know I need to sort it out."

It turns that her doctor has suggested she's malnourished - I'm expecting a blog post accusing Ryan Adams of stealing her yoghurts from the fridge by sundown.

Downloadable: Eagle And Talon

To celebrate Canada Day - good morning, Canadians - Eagle And Talon are offering a free download of their new album. There's also an opportunity to pay what you feel is right.

Wearing it well

A PR email drifts gently through the ether offering a chance to:

... become part of rock history!

How, though? How?

Tell me, for I must know:

[The company] celebrates Debbie Harry's birthday and offers 10% off all her T-shirts throughout the first two weeks of July. The talented and beautiful Debbie Harry celebrates her birthday today and [the company] is the perfect way to become part of rock history!

So... I'm going to become part of rock history, am I? By wearing a tshirt?

I'm wearing denim jeans this morning, by which reckoning I'm actually French.

Gordon in the morning: Guys and roles

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World:

I’m your guy for Guys, Guy

Gordon announces that Justin Timberlake is going to star in a movie film:

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE has given GUY RITCHIE his word that he will star in one of the Lock Stock director’s next big film projects.

The pair shook hands over a whisky at the Punch Bowl pub in Mayfair on Monday night after discussing the blockbusters Guy has on the horizon.

The idea of Guy Ritchie having a blockbuster on the horizon is one of those concepts - like Gordon Brown looking forward to a landslide election victory - that can only exist if there really are parallel universes. But do carry on, Gordon - what role is Justin being lined up for?

The list includes a big-screen version of musical Guys And Dolls which would suit Justin perfectly as well as a huge remake of the classic war film Wild Geese.

So it's just a case he's going to be in Guys and Dolls. It could just as easily be I'm your guy for Geese, guys, then?

Incidentally: Guys and Dolls and Wild Geese? Ritchie really doesn't have an original thought left, does he? Has he now taken to careering round Blockbuster grabbing DVDs at random to come up with his next projects? Is there a chance he's pitching a remake of Vicky Entwistle's WOW workout?

Gordon - who is perhaps the last person in the world who is interested in Ritchie's work - is throbbing with excitement:

I have no doubt big studios like Warner Bros, who work closely with Guy, would be more than happy to sign a fat cheque for Justin’s services.

Oh, yes. Making a film nobody wants to see even more expensive. Who could turn down such a compelling offer?

He would be a nailed-on box office hit if he had the chance.

You're nailing what on the where, Gordon?

It turns out that Gordon is an equally big fan of Justin's movie work. He was in Alpha Dog, you know. And... well, surely he's done something else, hasn't he, Gordon?

his comedy role as Jacques “Le Coq” Grande in Love Guru was pretty impressive too.

Meanwhile, Gordon gets Tim Nixon to write up the Madonna nudes, with the pair excited that "we;ve got the snaps."

Yes, Gordon. The Sun has run these before, though, hasn't it? So long ago, it was when I was doing a paper round. I know Smart often runs stories that are out of date - but surely he's never repeated 25 year old stuff before, has he?