We need to talk about '11: May

May is Eurovision month.

1Xtra got jumpy about the use of Palastine in a live mix. It took Tegan And Sara to point out that Tyler The Creator is actually a tiresome jock. Not that they got thanked for it. Bob Dylan insisted that preapproval and censorship are different things. MTV pulled anti-abortion ads and hoped nobody would notice they'd been running them a year before.

After the killing of Osama Bin Laden, the world's first thought was: What does Nelly Furtado make of all this? Apart from those who looked instead to Mel B for leadership. When caught behaving like an asshat on radio, Morrissey blamed Poly Styrene's death for his behaviour.

Pete Doherty went back inside. Courtney Love revealed what happened when she quit drugs. John Elway got cross with punks using his name.

Warners found a rich Russian oligarich to bail them out. EMI decided to look after its own digital royalties, presumably having done such a good job with everything else. Nokia shut Ovi.

A special party was thrown to celebrate Dave Gahan not over-celebrating anymore. At a different party, Beyonce tried to insist on no photos, only to realise she couldn't move in her dress and had to be carried away while photographers booed. Paul McCartney insisted the Stones were jealous that the Beatles had uniforms. And Ringo finally said sorry to Liverpool for laughing at it.

Lee Ryan revealed he'd like to work in porn' luckily, pornographers will always have jobs for people with buckets to do the clean-up afterwards. Still, even that would be more dignified than Lady GaGa turning up to flog songs in Farmville.

Going quiet: N-Dubz.Still back: Aqua.