Just to be clear

If they're asking questions about you on Jeopardy, you're not really an alternative any more.


[via Brooklyn Vegan]

Gordon in the morning: Daft

Niles Rodgers is what now, Gordon?

He's the "Daft Punk star" is he? It's a bit like describing Paul McCartney as one of The Firemen.

Terrible marketing stunt turned into terrible marketing press release

There was a thing earlier in the week about how Durex were supposedly marketing Daft Punk themed Get Lucky condoms.

It turns out they're not, but like a drunk man hopefully filling his pockets from the Johnny machine in the bogs, Durex are hoping they can capitalise on a promise. Can you spot the moment when their email to MTV News turns from factual correction into jolly-marketing message?

We are aware of reports that Durex has launched Daft Punk branded condoms following their hit single 'Get Lucky,' " he said. "There is no Durex promotion or partnership with Daft Punk in the U.S. or any other markets and Durex is not posting free packs to the world's top DJs as suggested. However, we do hope that by using Durex condoms, music-lovers will continue to make sweet music together and have great sex!"

They might have just got away with it if they'd stopped after "make sweet music together", but you can just picture the room when that statement was hammered together...

- Do you think people will understand what we mean by 'make sweet music'?
- Yeah, Dave, I think they will
- Are you sure? It might be a bit subtle.
- It's not subtle, Dave. It'll be fine
- But what if people don't know what condoms are for?
- Look, Dave, you might have spent the first six weeks on this account thinking we were selling tiny sandwich bags, but most people will get it
- I think we really need to make it clear we want people to have sex with our condoms on
- Dave...
- No, seriously. We don't want to get sued if people take it literally, and put our condoms on their flutes and whistles and the lubricant destroys their instruments. Let's just add 'by doing sex into the condoms peniswise' to make it clear
- Dave, this is like the time you wanted us to rebrand as Durex Penis Covers. It's not necessary
- I'm not going to sign this off until you amend it
- Okay, Dave...

Gordon in the morning: Liam Gallagher could have deffo written that

Here comes Liam Gallagher. I'll ask him what he thinks about recent records. What do you mean, I shouldn't? What could be the harm?

Liam, did you like Get Lucky by Daft Punk?

“I’d write that in a f***ing hour. I don’t know what the fuss is about, you know what I mean? It’s like f**k off, give me a f**king break.”

To be fair, it might sound like Liam is dismissing Daft Punk here, but given the first Beady Eye album appears to have been written in about fifteen minutes, so he might be suggesting it'd take a lot of work to construct the song.

Still, Liam, the idea of a mysterious band must entertain you, surely?

“I am not going to have people wear disguises."

Oh.

“Take your f**king helmet off. Let’s see what you look like sans helmet, whatever you’re called.”

To which Daft Punk replied "well, why don't you take your helmet off? Oh, because it's your hair." Probably.

Daft Punk: Hold the front page

Contact Music has breaking news:

Too much time on your hands?

Why not make your own Daft Punk helmet?



Okay, I can think of a list of good reasons to not make one, but if you were looking to be menacing in a stylish way - or maybe if you're boycotting Zovirax - you've now got options.

France chooses Tellier, Punk for Eurovision

Ireland is sending a Turkey. The UK is sending another sort of turkey. But France? France is sending Sebastian Tellier, with a track produced by Guy-Manuel de Homem Christo from Daft Punk.

None of us will win, of course, but which nation will hold its head up highest on the Sunday morning. (Clue: not the one which has entered an X Factor loser.)

LollapalYouTube

It's been Lollapalooza Weekend, and some of the footage is starting to turn up on YouTube:

Satellite Party doing Been Caught Stealing
Muse doing Hysteria
Daft Punk doing Technologic
Regina Spektor doing Fidelity
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists doing Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone?
Yeah Yeah Yeahs doing Date With The Night

Of course, some of this has the quality of the roughest field recordings, but worth seeing nevertheless.

Brothers against Punks... sort of

Dance music suddenly looked like it was going to get a bit more interesting, with the Daily Record suggesting a spat between The Chemical Brothers and Daft Punk:

DANCE duo The Chemical Brothers launched an attack on their fellow headliners at Rockness by claiming Daft Punk are spoiled divas.

Blimey. Really?

Erm... no, not really:

Tom said: "I hear Daft Punk got a helicopter. Last night we went for a curry in Inverness.

"We were walking down the banks of Loch Ness with the sun shining. It's beautiful."

... which doesn't quite stack up the idea they were calling DP divas so much as suggesting they might have been missing out on something.

"... and somehow, I've never quite got round to mentioning it before..."

So, the reason John Lydon walked out of I'm A Celeb was because he knew his wife was flying in to Australia and the production team wouldn't tell him if she'd arrived safely or not.

Because, of course, had she been on a plane which had plummeted into the sea, ITV would have kept him in the dark so as not to spoil the show, wouldn't they?

Oddly, Lydon tries to justify this by explaining that he and his wife had been meant to be on the flight that was blown up over Lockerbie in 1988.

Is it just me being incredibly cynical, I wonder, because I'm surprised that we've never heard this story before in the last fifteen years. Wouldn't you have thought something like that might have turned up in his 1994 autobiography?

Maybe - just maybe - Johnny would have thought that it would have been slightly tacky to turn the deaths of so many people into a showbiz anecdote; but then it's hard to see why he'd then suddenly use them as a comfort blanket to cover his reasons for giving up a gameshow.