Jack White creates the worst plentyoffish profile ever

There was a big interview with Jack White in Sunday's Observer, which found a man struggling to balance the weight of his self-created mythos:

A lazaretto is a medical quarantine, traditionally occupied by contagious sea dogs returned from voyage. White is so busy these days that the idea of such a place has become almost exotic: "I fantasise about living in one-room apartments and being in a work camp somewhere, where there's absolutely nothing around me but a cot and a teapot and a sink."

Of course, it's not all as bad as that.

Lazaretto is dedicated to three feminist pioneers: Florence Green from Norfolk, the last surviving veteran of the first world war until her death in 2012 [actually, Tim Lewis, her death didn't stop her being the last surviving veteran]; the American anarchist and writer Voltairine de Cleyre; and "Amazing" Grace Hopper, a computer scientist and rear admiral in the US navy.

That actually sounds quite interesting. So, has this album been informed by those women's experiences?

Er, no:

White admits that he barely knows more than a paragraph's biography of each of them, but he jotted their names down at various points in the recording process. He says: "So, just another way to provoke thought, I guess."

If he'd picked up a different page of his notebook, the album might have been dedicated to 'set PVR for Game Of Thrones' or 'potatoes/washing up liquid/half pound of bananas'.

Maybe not the PVR, though:

White is doing his own bit to turn back the clock: at his gigs, he enforces a strict ban on the audience shooting pictures or video; at home, he only allows his children – Scarlett, eight, and Hank, six – to play with mechanical toys. "There's romance and beauty in that in a real physical way," he says, "and that's more important for them than to just quickly cop to video games and iPads."

Mechanical toys? Mechanical toys? Isn't clockwork a little too fast-pace-of-modern-life for you, Jack? What's wrong with a chunk of wood and a whittling stick?

I feel for his kids. Going to his house must be like when I had to visit a great aunt who only had powdered milk and one chair.

There's one bit, though, where I think the real Jack White peeps through:

"I'm incredibly complicated, incredibly full of energy, incredibly busy and I never stop thinking, I never stop creating. Sitting next to me in a room or laying next to me in a bed, it could be a lot of work. To be friends with me, have breakfast with me, have coffee, is a lot of work, too. It's like you're going to lunch with Larry David, Alan Partridge and Chris Rock all in one person – maybe with a little bit of Woody Allen mixed in there. And some people might not think it's funny!"

Basically, White is a chilled-out entertainer entertainer. I'll bet he does funny voices, too.

But, oh, what work to keep up with a man who channels so many sharp wits! No wonder poor Meg got so tired out.

Jack White explains why his disdainful comments aren't disdainful

Remember Jack White? Nice kid, interesting music. Haven't seen so much of him since he went off on that big journey he made. Where was it he was off to again? Oh, yeah. Up his own asshole. That's where he went.

Last week, there was dispatch from his fundament, where he took time out of his busy preening ritual to slag off the Black Keys and Meg White in the pages of the Rolling Stone. He's now attempted to row back on the comments, while still explaining how he was right all along.

So, Meg, for example - Jack's former wife and someone who has, in the past, had anxiety problems. In the original piece, Jack laid into her:

"She's one of those people who won't high-five me when I get the touchdown," he said. "She viewed me that way of 'Oh, big deal, you did it, so what?' Almost every single moment of the White Stripes was like that. We'd be working in the studio and something amazing would happen: I'm like, 'Damn, we just broke into a new world right there!' And Meg's sitting in silence."

White recalled a quote from Ringo Starr that rang true to him during those moments. "I remember hearing Ringo Starr say, 'I always felt sorry for Elvis, because in the Beatles we had each other to talk about what it felt like. Elvis was by himself.' I was like, 'Shit, try being in a two-piece where the other person doesn't talk!'"

Oh, how frustrating for Jack not to have someone constantly high-fiving him. And him being so very very clever, too.

Now, though, Jack is keen to stress that he didn't mean anything by that:

"Meg White, who I also talked about to Rolling Stone about our working conversations, or lack thereof, is, of course, a musician I’ve personally championed for 15 years," he wrote in the statement. "She is a strong female presence in rock and roll, and I was not intending to slight her either, only to explain how hard it was for us to communicate with our very different personalities. This got blown out of proportion and made into headlines, and somehow I looked like I was picking on her. I would never publicly do that to someone I love so dearly. And, there are mountains of interviews where my words are very clear on how important I think she is to me and to music."

"Hey, what are you complaining about? I've said elsewhere she's important to me, so why does the fact I painted a picture of her being a closed-off, cold-fish hermit suddenly become a problem? In what way is saying she sat in silence when I'd been brilliant a bad thing?"

The Black Keys White took to task for being copyists:

"There are kids at school who dress like everybody else, because they don't know what to do, and there are musicians like that, too. I'll hear TV commercials where the music's ripping off sounds of mine, to the point I think it's me. Half the time, it's the Black Keys," White says. "The other half, it's a sound-alike song because they couldn't license one of mine. There's a whole world that's totally fine with the watered-down version of the original."
[...]
The White Stripes did the same thing, and in our absence, you're gonna find someone to fill that. And you get a band like the Black Keys, who said they never heard of the White Stripes? Sure.

It looks like what really irks White is not that the Black Keys supposedly sound like a watered-down White Stripes, but that they, too, refuse to high-five him by admitting his influence on their work.

Still, full marks for his clarification on this, which manages to be more snide than the original remarks:

"I wish the band the Black Keys all the success that they can get," he said in the new statement. "I hope the best for their record label Nonesuch who has such a proud history in music, and in their efforts to bring the Black Keys songs to the world. I hope for massive success also for their producer and songwriter Danger Mouse and for the other musicians that their band employs. Lord knows that I can tell you myself how hard it is to get people to pay attention to a two piece band with a plastic guitar, so any attention that the Black Keys can get in this world I wish it for them, and I hope their record stays in the top ten for many months and they have many more successful albums in their career."

"Yeah, good luck guys, and all those other people who are doing all the work for you. I hope your children are beautiful, and your grandparents long-lived, and your fingers remain supple into what will be a long and active old-age, and that you're too stupid to notice that this reads like a piece of douchey sark."

Oh, White also found time to slag off most women artists working at the moment, too:

Some people will hear that and say 'Oh, Jack White thinks he's the first person to play the blues.' But certain acts open up a market for a certain style. Amy Winehouse: Did she invent white soul? Wearing a beehive? No. But she did something brand new and fresh, altogether as a package, and you see who's in her wake, from the Duffys to the Lana Del Reys," he says. "Adele selling 20 million records? That would not have happened if Amy Winehouse was alive."

Adele's two albums were both released during Winehouse's lifetime, actually. But this isn't about facts, it's about Jack. And Jack knows what he thinks.

Although, er, maybe he's going to clarify that, too:

White also apologized to the artists he appeared to dismiss in his explanation of how "certain acts open up a market for a certain style." White said that he attempted to avoid giving a "no comment" answer to Rolling Stone because he thought it would sound petty, but ended up making comments that should have been reserved for "shop talk" among producers, engineers and managers.

"I wish no slight to the talents of Winehouse, Duffy, Lana del Rey, and Adele," he explained on Saturday. "All of whom are wonderful performers with amazing voices. I have their records and I hope for more success for them all as the years go on. They deserve all they’ve gotten. And, I also would love to state that I personally find it inspiring to have powerful, positive female voices speaking out and creating at all times in the mainstream, and all of those singers do just that, so I thank them."

There's a couple of things here. The first is that he seems to have noticed that he wasn't even apparently slighting Amy Winehouse, so maybe even Jack White starts to tune out and not listen properly when Jack White starts banging on.

Secondly, saying that Adele wouldn't have sold records if Amy Winehouse was alive - even if factually incorrect - is clearly saying that Adele had got success she didn't deserve.

So that's White's apology saying sorry for something he didn't even do (slagging Winehouse) and claiming he hadn't done something he had (slagging Adele). This is the most ham-fisted thing White's done since his last record.

But what really galls is that bit about "shop talk" - the sweeping imperiousness of the idea that the little people who read his interviews and (albeit in decreasing numbers) buy his records can't be trusted to understand such complex ideas as how Adele wouldn't have sold records if she'd had to compete with someone else without thinking he sounds like an arse.

Unless what Jack means is that he should only really talk to the sort of people he's paying, rather than people who aren't being paid to agree with his every shining insight.

Just to be clear

If they're asking questions about you on Jeopardy, you're not really an alternative any more.


[via Brooklyn Vegan]

Meg White showed "no interest"

Remember back when Jack White was interesting, rather than just some sort of authenticity franchisee? When he was in the White Stripes?

Apparently those were the bad times:

In The White Stripes, it was impossible to share the good moments with Meg because she was very uninterested. If something nice happened, it wasn't like we would hug or have a drink. That wasn't what went on.

"We would record a White Stripes song in the studio and it would be me, Meg and an engineer," he added. "So we would finish a mix of a song and I'd say, 'Wow! That's pretty good!' I'd look around and Meg would just be sitting there, and the engineer would just be sitting there."

He continued: "So it'd be sorta like, 'OK... Let's just move on to the next one.' It was just me by myself. But it was the best thing for me. It taught me a lot about trusting my gut."

Oh, poor Jack, being deprived of hugs. What a terror Meg sounds like, refusing to give you a high-five everytime you got the balance right on the left guitar channel.

You wonder if there's a counterside to this story - that, perhaps, by the time Jack had spent three damn weeks on the mix of a single track, that the joy had completely been sucked out the endeavour and maybe Meg and the engineer were just numbly waiting until they could go home. Just possible, isn't it?

Gordon in the morning: White Stripes

Someone off the X Factor is going to release a cover of Seven Nation Army. In the real world, this need bother nobody save for those who read the singles charts down past position 148; in Gordon's mind, though, it is the latest stage in some sort of fundamentalist conflict:

X FACTOR finalists always find a way to annoy indie fans – and now Marcus Collins is having a go.

They always do? I suppose by releasing poor quality records and hanging around on television for years, they annoy everyone, but that's not specifically targeting indie fans, is it?

The singer will cover The White Stripes' classic Seven Nation Army for his first single — after getting the nod from Jack White.

It's bound to have White's fans burning their black jeans and red T-shirts in horror.

I know, I know: "black jeans". You have to wonder about all those factcheckers Smart told Leveson he had when he can't even get someone to google a picture of the White Stripes to see what colour their trousers are.

It doesn't make sense anyway: why would you burn your clothes because someone did a cover of the song? Wouldn't you burn something related to the person who made the new version?

Still, maybe Marcus' version will add something, not destroy it:

The song has been reworked into a pop track which will sound more Bruno Mars than Jack and Meg.

Oh, sweet Jesus. I'm going off to burn all jeans, of all colours.

Democrats enlist White Stripes to make a point

Meet US Congresswoman Donna Edwards.



Yes, she's showing Congress The White Stripes Effect And Cause. As part of a debate about government shutdown.

This in no way is like that girl in your class crowbaring in some reference to "sucking the life out" of something in order to use posters of R-Patz during her class report on the Banking Crisis. Because the girl in your class isn't an elected representative who should be able to get through one of the most important debates in recent American history without needing to pep it up with a tune or two.

Jack White clarifies his closing statement

You'll recall when Jack White broke up The White Stripes, he told us that the band was now ours.

In the last couple of weeks, we've been round to their place and it's all locked up, and we can't see the keys anywhere. Luckily, Jack White has now clarified what he meant:

Speaking to the New York Times, he said: "People say, 'Why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that?' Or, 'Don't you owe something to somebody or to yourselves?' All those questions.

"That line was the idea of explaining to them that at a certain point as an artist, you paint your painting, you do your sculpture or your music, and you release it into the world."

The 35-year-old added: "You don't own it anymore. You have no control over it. You put it out there to share with other people. You can only hope for the best."

Well, yes. Although that's true whether your band is still a going concern or not, isn't it? And, frankly, I think most White Stripes fans would have grasped the reader-as-auteur theory probably around sixth grade, so if that was all you meant it's akin to telling people that you can hear the songs by listening to them.

Still, it's generous of him to clear that up. Even though it has the air of someone popping back into a room to say goodbye again because they feared their departure wasn't really noticeable enough.

White Stripes: This wasn't the idea, of course

The decision to announce a formal split of The White Stripes wasn't, I'm sure, a cunning ruse designed to spark a sale of catalogue albums. But boy, it worked out that way.

The White Stripes stop

To be honest, despite the live album, we'd more or less assumed that The White Stripes had already split up, but now it's official:

“The reason is not due to artistic differences or lack of wanting to continue, nor any health issues as both Meg and Jack are feeling fine and in good health,” the two said in their statement. “It’s for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way.”
[...]
"Third Man Records will continue to put out unreleased live and studio recordings from the White Stripes in their Vault subscription record club, as well as through regular channels.”
[...]
“The White Stripes do not belong to Meg and Jack anymore. The White Stripes belong to you now and you can do with it whatever you want. The beauty of art and music is that it can last forever if people want it to. Thank you for sharing this experience. Your involvement will never be lost on us and we are truly grateful.”

Although that last segment might sound like they've just slapped a creative commons licence on their back catalogue, I suspect you might find yourself arguing a difficult case if you started to sell your own Stripes 'best of' - "Jack White told me it belongs to me..."

The White Stripes site has crashed following the announcement. Or perhaps it just went offline to preserve what was special about the website.

NME on the eve of another revamp

A lovely big, positive piece on the NME and new editor Krissi Murison was the highlight of yesterday's MediaGuardian - the newspaper's enthusiasm for the magazine in no way influenced, of course, by the magazine's sponsorship of the newspaper's student media awards.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the article was this:

Now it is tempting to think of the magazine as a 58-year-old who, having given birth to numerous offspring, nme.com, NME Radio, NME TV, NME Awards tour and Club NME, is being eclipsed by them. [Paul Cheal, the publishing director of NME and Uncut], who masterminded this brand diaspora, begs to differ: "The magazine is the cultural heartbeat of the brand and a lot of our journalistic integrity resides in the magazine and then spreads out." But he admits the mass of readers has "shifted online", with nme.com enjoying 4.5 million unique users a month. Cheal maintains the magazine is profitable and attracts a healthy number of music and lifestyle advertisers.

It's not entirely unlikely that the magazine makes a profit - there is a fair degree of advertising and fluffy advertorial set against editorial which doesn't suggest too much in the way of Time Warner resources being burned through to create it - and if Cheal is being straight, a couple of thousand extra readers might be all anyone needs at the weekly to sleep well at night. For the next couple of years, anyway.

Mind you, if the title is in rude health, it makes you wonder why there's the need for a wholesale revamp. Perhaps it was part of the deal to bring Krissi Murison in.

And - from the first glimpses on MediaGuardian today - the overhaul doesn't seem too bad.

Sure, it's disappointing that the logo has been reduced to a single block of colour - but on the other hand, the words "New Musical Express" have been restored to the masthead.

Yes, the idea of ten different covers has been done to death, and doing a multicover for no reason other than your own redesign suggests there's not much else to shout about. But, the other hand shows, the design of all ten covers looks bloody great - even the Kasabian one would be lovely, if it didn't have Kasabian on it. These are acts of love.

The choice of the ten cover stars is quite the Curate's egg, too: a handful of irk-the-purists choices (Rhianna, albeit with a sweary word), a few of the sort of interesting and intriguing new acts you never saw on the front page during the McNicholas years, and some thudding, dull, safe choices (the aforementioned Kasabian, and Jack White.)

It's intriguing - from this distance, it's hard to tell if the aim is a steady-as-she-goes don't-scare-the-horses attempt to change the ship's direction, or merely adding some shading to try and give the impression of depth to a 2D publication. Murison's issues so far have been mixed - generally with one cracker followed by three ho-hum editions - but now, surely, this is going to have to be a new era?

White Stripes take on USAF

Surely the most curious thing about the American Air Force using Fell In Love With A Girl, without permission, for a Superbowl recuritment advert is... well, that they were using a White Stripes song at all.

Obviously, given that the USAF is in the business of dropping things on people's heads, it's not really the sort of organisation which is good at getting sign-off on its ideas: "hi, I'm from the American Air Force; we were going to sprinkle your land with depleted uranium - could you sign and date this approval slip for me?"

But The White Stripes? Is that the demographic they're really targeting now? You know, when you're pitching your sign-up ads at slightly fey thirtysomethings, that's surely an indication that you're having trouble filling your (service) boots.

As Churchill once said: "I fear not the arrival of the German cruisers on the beaches of Kent, nor the landing of Soviet parachutes on the hills of Yorkshire. But the thought of the Royal Navy using The Field Mice to recruit men? That, there, is what I fear the most."

Jack White's got some neck

Can you actually cancel a top secret act? How do we know that Jack White really was going to appear at the MTV Europe awards before he crooked his neck? We could all say that, couldn't we? Like, yeah, Will Self was going to be the gorgeous secret surprise guest blogger this week, but now he isn't because... uh, he's snapped his keyboard-tapping finger.

Jack White suddenly not happy being a Coca-Cola shill

You'd have thought that with Jack White having happily taken the Coca-Cola shilling in the past, he'd be used to the way the company works. Apparently not so. he's annoyed that Coke have used his James Bond theme in a Coke Zero advert:

"Jack White was commissioned by Sony Pictures to write a theme song for the James Bond film 'Quantum Of Solace', not for Coca Cola," read the statement. "Any other use of the song is based on decisions made by others, not by Jack White.

"We are disappointed that you first heard the song in a co-promotion for Coke Zero, rather than in its entirety."

It's hard to feel any sympathy for White at this high-handed behaviour by the good people at the fizzy drink company - when he recorded his jingle for Coke back in 2006, he didn't seem that bothered about, say, the treatment of Columbian trades unionists who would sometimes turn up dead after taking on Coca-Cola. If I remember correctly, White's Coke jingle was called What Goes Around Comes Around. More apt than perhaps he realised at the time.

Winehouse grabs the Grammys

That'd be quite a successful night for Amy Winehouse then - not so much that she won five Grammys, but more that she turned in two performances for prime-time US TV without screwing up.

Watching the performances, though (they're on the DailyMotion) there is a rather nagging question: where did that audience come from? Who were they? Did they have to pay $300 a head to be there?

Winehouse took five of the awards she'd been nominated for, but didn't get album of the year. Herbie Hancock did, to an audible intake of breath round the world. A jazz album? Surely some mistake?

USA Today suggests that the prize for Hancock might have been an attempt to tick Winehouse off. A little:

Hancock's win may have been a case of the Recording Academy's older voters picking a venerated veteran over a troubled newcomer and a brash hip-hop star [Kanye West].

Yeah, that'd be it - "you can have five prizes, and an expensive high-profile satellite linkup, young Winehouse, but there's no album of the year for you, that'll show you."

Anyway, isn't it a bit spiteful of the paper to assume that Hancock got the prize because the academy was choosing to not give the thing to someone else? Couldn't it be they gave Herbie Hancock the prize because, you know, they liked his record?

USA Today quotes Entertainment Weekly's Chris Willman to bolster its case:

"Evidently, the most conservative voters — and there are a lot of them — got too distracted by her image problems to see that she created a classic."

Aha. Only she did win five prizes, didn't she, Chris?

"Who knew the voters would be this brave?" Willman says. "(The Recording Academy) makes a big deal out of social responsibility, particularly in regard to their anti-drug programs. I figured they'd be too scared to reward someone who looked to all the world like an unwilling candidate for one of those programs — since voting closed before she went into rehab. But with these wins, they said art comes first, which is as it should be."

Except, erm, for the album category, then.

Thank god they got Amy onboard, though, otherwise the event would have been hanging on Alicia Keys playing piano with a back projection of an out of proportion Frank Sinatra and someone winning a competition to have her violin drowned out by the Foo Fighters.

There's an enormous number of live Grammy Blogs slewing about the internet this year - proving that quantity and quality aren't actually the same thing. Which could be scrawled across the tickets for the Grammy supper. There are, however, some very good ones - Stereogum's, for example.

And who'd have thought that Madonna would win something in 2007? Some sort of made-up best DVD of a tour prize or something, but, hey, she's still got it. Just. Clinging on with the claws.

Almost unmentioned, so we'll mention them: The White Stripes managed two awards; and The Chemical Brothers picked up a prize, too.

Winners in full:

Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)

* Rehab
Amy Winehouse
Mark Ronson, producer; Tom Elmhirst, Vaughan Merrick, Dom Morley, Mark Ronson & Gabriel Roth, engineers/mixers
Track from: Back To Black
[Universal Republic Records]


Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)

* River: The Joni Letters
Herbie Hancock
Leonard Cohen, Norah Jones, Joni Mitchell, Corinne Bailey Rae, Luciana Souza & Tina Turner, featured artists; Herbie Hancock & Larry Klein, producers; Helik Hadar, engineer/mixer; Bernie Grundman, mastering engineer
[Verve]


Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* Rehab
Amy Winehouse, songwriter (Amy Winehouse)
Track from: Back To Black
[Universal Republic Records; Publisher: EMI Music Publishing]

Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)

* Amy Winehouse


Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Rehab
Amy Winehouse
Track from: Back To Black
[Universal Republic Records]


Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* What Goes Around...Comes Around
Justin Timberlake
[Jive]


Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For established duos or groups, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Makes Me Wonder
Maroon 5
Track from: It Won't Be Soon Before Long
[Octone/A&M Records]



Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)
Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
[Rounder Records]

Best Pop Instrumental Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, without vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* One Week Last Summer
Joni Mitchell
Track from: Shine
[Hear Music]


Best Pop Instrumental Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of INSTRUMENTAL tracks.)

* The Mix-Up
Beastie Boys
[Capitol Records]


Best Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Back To Black
Amy Winehouse
[Universal Republic Records]

Best Dance Recording
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances. Vocal or Instrumental. Singles or tracks only.)

* LoveStoned/I Think She Knows
Justin Timberlake
Nate (Danja) Hills, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake, producers; Jimmy Douglass & Timbaland, mixers
Track from: FutureSex/LoveSounds
[Jive/Zomba]


Best Electronic/Dance Album
(For vocal or instrumental albums. Albums only.)

* We Are The Night
The Chemical Brothers
[Astralwerks]

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Call Me Irresponsible
Michael Bublé
[143 Records/Reprise]

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Radio Nowhere
Bruce Springsteen
Track from: Magic
[Columbia]

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Icky Thump
The White Stripes
Track from: Icky Thump
[Third Man/Warner Bros.]

Best Hard Rock Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* The Pretender
Foo Fighters
[Roswell/RCA Records]


Best Metal Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Final Six
Slayer
Track from: Christ Illusion
[American Recording/Columbia]

Best Rock Instrumental Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, without vocals. Includes Rock, Hard Rock and Metal. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Once Upon A Time In The West
Bruce Springsteen
Track from: We All Love Ennio Morricone
[Sony Classical]


Best Rock Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. Includes Rock, Hard Rock & Metal songs. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* Radio Nowhere
Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen)
Track from: Magic
[Columbia; Publisher: Bruce Springsteen]


Best Rock Album
(Vocal or Instrumental. Includes Hard Rock and Metal.)

* Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
Foo Fighters
[Roswell/RCA Records]


Best Alternative Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Icky Thump
The White Stripes
[Third Man/Warner Bros.]

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* No One
Alicia Keys
[J Records/MBK Entertainment]

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Future Baby Mama
Prince
Track from: Planet Earth
[Columbia/NPG Records]




Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Disrespectful
Chaka Khan Featuring Mary J. Blige
[Burgundy/Sony/BMG]

Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* In My Songs
Gerald Levert
Track from: In My Songs
[Atlantic]


Best Urban/Alternative Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Daydreamin'
Lupe Fiasco Featuring Jill Scott
Track from: Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
[1st & 15th/Atlantic]

Best R&B Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* No One
Dirty Harry, Kerry Brothers & Alicia Keys, songwriters (Alicia Keys)
[J Records/MBK Entertainment; Publishers: Lellow Productions/EMI April Music, Book Of Daniel Music/EMI Music Publishing, D. Harry Productions]

Best R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Funk This
Chaka Khan
[Burgundy Records]

Best Contemporary R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Because Of You
Ne-Yo
[Def Jam Recordings]


Best Rap Solo Performance
(For a solo Rap performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Stronger
Kanye West
Track from: Graduation
[Roc-A-Fella Records]


Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
(For duo, group or collaborative performances of Rap only. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Southside
Common Featuring Kanye West
Track from: Finding Forever
[Geffen]


Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
(For a Rap/Sung collaborative performance by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Umbrella
Rihanna Featuring Jay-Z
Track from: Good Girl Gone Bad
[Def Jam Recordings]

Best Rap Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* Good Life
Aldrin Davis, Mike Dean, Faheem Najm & Kanye West, songwriters (J. Ingram & Q. Jones, songwriters)(Kanye West Featuring T-Pain)
Track from: Graduation
[Roc-A-Fella; Publishers: Yellow Brick Road Music/Eiseman Music/EMI Blackwood Music/Please Gimme My Publishing/Careers BMG Music Publishing, Warner-Tamerlane Publishing]

Best Rap Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Graduation
Kanye West
[Roc-A-Fella Records]

Best Female Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Before He Cheats
Carrie Underwood
Track from: Some Hearts
[19 Recordings/Arista Nashville]

Best Male Country Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Stupid Boy
Keith Urban
Track from: Love, Pain & The Whole Crazy Thing
[Capitol Records Nashville]


Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For established duos or groups with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* How Long
Eagles
[Eagles Recording Co. II]

Best Country Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Lost Highway
Willie Nelson & Ray Price
Track from: Last Of The Breed
[Lost Highway Records]

Best Country Instrumental Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, without vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Throttleneck
Brad Paisley
Track from: 5th Gear
[Arista Nashville]


Best Country Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* Before He Cheats
Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Some Hearts
[19 Recordings/Arista Nashville; Publishers: Big Loud Shirt Industries, Mighty Underdog Music/Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing]

Best Country Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* These Days
Vince Gill
[MCA Nashville]

Best Bluegrass Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* The Bluegrass Diaries
Jim Lauderdale
[Yep Roc Records]


Best New Age Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Crestone
Paul Winter Consort
[Living Music]

Best Contemporary Jazz Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of INSTRUMENTAL tracks.)

* River: The Joni Letters
Herbie Hancock
[Verve]

Best Jazz Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Avant Gershwin
Patti Austin
[Rendezvous Entertainment]

Best Jazz Instrumental Solo
(For an instrumental jazz solo performance. Two equal performers on one recording may be eligible as one entry. If the soloist listed appears on a recording billed to another artist, the latter's name is in parenthesis for identification. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Anagram
Michael Brecker, soloist
Track from: Pilgrimage
[Heads Up International]


Best Jazz Instrumental Album, Individual or Group
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of INSTRUMENTAL tracks.)

* Pilgrimage
Michael Brecker
[Heads Up International]

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album
(For large jazz ensembles, including big band sounds. Albums must contain 51% or more INSTRUMENTAL tracks.)

* A Tale Of God's Will (A Requiem For Katrina)
Terence Blanchard
[Blue Note]


Best Latin Jazz Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Funk Tango
Paquito D'Rivera Quintet?
[Paquito Records]

Best Gospel Performance
(For solo, duo, group as collaborative performances. Singles or tracks with vocal containing Gospel lyrics. All genres of Gospel music are eligible.)(Tie)

* Blessed & Highly Favored
The Clark Sisters
Track from: Live - One Last Time
[EMI Gospel]

* Never Gonna Break My Faith
Aretha Franklin & Mary J. Blige (Featuring The Harlem Boys Choir)
Track from: Bobby: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
[Island Def Jam]

Best Gospel Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* Blessed & Highly Favored
Karen Clark-Sheard, songwriter (The Clark Sisters)
Track from: Live - One Last Time
[EMI Gospel; Publisher: K. Sheard's Melody]

Best Rock Or Rap Gospel Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Before The Daylight's Shot
Ashley Cleveland
[204 Records]


Best Pop/Contemporary Gospel Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* A Deeper Level
Israel And New Breed
[Integrity Music]

Best Southern, Country, Or Bluegrass Gospel Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Salt Of The Earth
Ricky Skaggs & The Whites
[Skaggs Family Records]

Best Traditional Gospel Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Live - One Last Time
The Clark Sisters
[EMI Gospel]

Best Contemporary R&B Gospel Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

* Free To Worship
Fred Hammond
[Verity]

Best Latin Pop Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* El Tren De Los Momentos
Alejandro Sanz
[Warner Music Latina]

Best Latin Rock Or Alternative Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* No Hay Espacio
Black:Guayaba
[Machete Music]

Best Latin Urban Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Residente O Visitante
Calle 13
[Norte]

Best Tropical Latin Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* La Llave De Mi Corazón
Juan Luis Guerra
[EMI Televisa]

Best Mexican/Mexican-American Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* 100% Mexicano
Pepe Aguilar
[EMI Televisa]


Best Tejano Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Before The Next Teardrop Falls
Little Joe & La Familia
[TDI Records]

Best Norteño Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Detalles Y Emociones
Los Tigres Del Norte
[Fonovisa Records]


Best Banda Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Te Va A Gustar
El Chapo
[Disa]

Best Traditional Blues Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Last Of The Great Mississippi Delta Bluesmen: Live In Dallas
Henry James Townsend, Joe Willie "Pinetop" Perkins, Robert Lockwood, Jr. & David "Honeyboy" Edwards
[The Blue Shoe Project]

Best Contemporary Blues Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* The Road To Escondido
JJ Cale & Eric Clapton
[Reprise Records/Warner Music Group]

Best Traditional Folk Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Dirt Farmer
Levon Helm
[Dirt Farmer Music/Vanguard Records]

Best Contemporary Folk/Americana Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Washington Square Serenade
Steve Earle
[New West Records]

Best Native American Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Totemic Flute Chants
Johnny Whitehorse
[Silver Wave Records]

Best Hawaiian Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Treasures Of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar
Various Artists
Daniel Ho, George Kahumoku, Jr., Paul Konwiser & Wayne Wong, producers
[Daniel Ho Creations]




Best Zydeco Or Cajun Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Live! Worldwide
Terrance Simien & The Zydeco Experience
[AIM Trading Group P/L]


Best Reggae Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Mind Control
Stephen Marley
[Tuff Gong/Ghetto Youths/Universal Republic]

Best Traditional World Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* African Spirit
Soweto Gospel Choir
[Shanachie Entertainment]

Best Contemporary World Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Djin Djin
Angelique Kidjo
[Razor & Tie Direct/Starbucks Entertainment]


Best Polka Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)

* Come Share The Wine
Jimmy Sturr And His Orchestra
[Rounder]



Best Musical Album For Children
(For albums consisting of predominantly music or song vs. spoken word.)

* A Green And Red Christmas
The Muppets
Ted Kryczko & Ed Mitchell, producers
[Walt Disney Records]


Best Spoken Word Album For Children
(For albums consisting of predominantly spoken word vs. music or song.)

* Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows
Jim Dale
[Listening Library]

Best Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Story Telling)

* The Audacity Of Hope: Thoughts On Reclaiming The American Dream
Barack Obama
[Random House Audio]


Best Comedy Album
(For comedy recordings, spoken or musical)

* The Distant Future
Flight Of The Conchords
[Sub Pop]


Best Musical Show Album

(Award to the Album Producer(s), and to the Lyricist(s) & Composer(s) of 51% or more of a new score. (Artist, Lyricist & Composer names appear in parentheses.))

* Spring Awakening
Duncan Sheik, producer; Duncan Sheik, composer; Steven Sater, lyricist (Original Broadway Cast With Jonathan Groff, Lea Michele & Others)
[Decca Broadway]

Best Compilation Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(Award to the Artist(s) and/or Producer(s) of a majority of the tracks on the album, or to the individual(s) actively responsible for the concept and musical direction and for the selection of artists, songs and producers, as applicable.)

* Love
(The Beatles)
George Martin & Giles Martin, producers
[Apple Records/Capitol Records]

Best Score Soundtrack Album For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(Award to Composer(s) for an original score created specifically for, or as a companion to, a current legitimate motion picture, television show or series or other visual media.)

* Ratatouille
Michael Giacchino, composer
[Walt Disney Records]


Best Song Written For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media
(A Songwriter(s) award. For a song (melody & lyrics) written specifically for a motion picture, television or other visual media, and released for the first time during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.

* Love You I Do (From Dreamgirls)
Siedah Garrett & Henry Krieger, songwriters (Jennifer Hudson)
Track from: Dreamgirls
[Music World Music/Sony Urban Music/Columbia/Sony Music Soundtrax; Publishers: Miroku Music/Williamson Music/Black Chick Music Publishing, SKG Songs]

Best Instrumental Composition
(A Composer's Award for an original composition (not an adaptation) first released during the Eligibility Year. Singles or Tracks only.)

* Cerulean Skies
Maria Schneider, composer (Maria Schneider Orchestra)
Track from: Sky Blue
[ArtistShare]

Best Instrumental Arrangement
(An Arranger's Award. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* In A Silent Way
Vince Mendoza, arranger (Joe Zawinul)
Track from: Brown Street
[Heads Up International]

Best Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s)
(An Arranger's Award. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* I'm Gonna Live Till I Die
John Clayton, arranger (Queen Latifah)
Track from: Trav'lin' Light
[Verve]


Best Recording Package

* Cassadaga
Zachary Nipper, art director (Bright Eyes)
[Saddle Creek]


Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package

* What It Is!: Funky Soul And Rare Grooves (1967-1977)
Masaki Koike, art director (Various Artists)
[Rhino]

Best Album Notes

* John Work, III: Recording Black Culture
Bruce Nemerov, album notes writer (Various Artists)
[Spring Fed Records]


Best Historical Album

* The Live Wire - Woody Guthrie In Performance 1949
Nora Guthrie & Jorge Arévalo Mateus, compilation producers; Jamie Howarth, Steve Rosenthal, Warren Russell-Smith & Dr. Kevin Short, mastering engineers (Woody Guthrie)
[Woody Guthrie Publications]

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical
(An Engineer's Award. (Artists names appear in parentheses.))

* Beauty & Crime
Tchad Blake, Cameron Craig, Emery Dobyns & Jimmy Hogarth, engineers (Suzanne Vega)
[Blue Note]

Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical
(A Producer's Award. (Artists names appear in parentheses.))

* Mark Ronson
• Back To Black (Amy Winehouse) (T)
• Littlest Things (Lily Allen) (T)
• Rehab (Amy Winehouse) (T)
• Version (Mark Ronson) (A)
• You Know I'm No Good (Amy Winehouse) (T)


Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical
(A Remixer's Award. (Artists names appear in parentheses for identification.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* Bring The Noise (Benny Benassi Sfaction Remix)
Benny Benassi, remixer (Public Enemy)
Track from: Bring The Noise/Give It Up EP
[Ultra Records]

Best Surround Sound Album
(For vocal or instrumental albums. Albums only.

* Love
Paul Hicks, surround mix engineer; Tim Young, surround mastering engineer; George Martin & Giles Martin, surround producers (The Beatles)
[Apple/Capitol Records]


Best Engineered Album, Classical
(An Engineer's Award. (Artist names appear in parentheses.))

* Grechaninov: Passion Week
John Newton, engineer (Charles Bruffy, Phoenix Bach Choir & Kansas City Chorale)
[Chandos]


Producer Of The Year, Classical
(A Producer's Award. (Artist names appear in parentheses.))

* Judith Sherman
• American Virtuosa: Tribute To Maud Powell (Rachel Barton Pine & Matthew Hagle)
• From Barrelhouse To Broadway: The Musical Odyssey Of Joe Jordan (Rick Benjamin & The Paragon Ragtime Orchestra)
• Górecki: String Quartet No. 3 '...Songs Are Sung' (Kronos Quartet)
• Strange Imaginary Animals (Eighth Blackbird)
• Tchaikovsky: Three String Quartets, Souvenir De Florence (Ying Quartet)

Best Classical Album
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s) if other than the Artist.

* Tower: Made In America
Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Tim Handley, producer; Tim Handley, engineer/mixer (Nashville Symphony)
[Naxos]




Best Orchestral Performance
(Award to the Conductor and to the Orchestra.)

* Tower: Made In America
Leonard Slatkin, conductor (Nashville Symphony)
[Naxos]

Best Opera Recording
(Award to the Conductor, Album Producer(s) and Principal Soloists.)

* Humperdinck: Hansel & Gretel
Sir Charles Mackerras, conductor; Rebecca Evans, Jane Henschel & Jennifer Larmore; Brian Couzens, producer (Sarah Coppen, Diana Montague & Sarah Tynan; New London Children's Choir; Philharmonia Orchestra)
[Chandos Opera In English]


Best Choral Performance
(Award to the Choral Conductor, and to the Orchestra Conductor if an Orchestra is on the recording, and to the Choral Director or Chorus Master if applicable.)

* Brahms: Ein Deutsches Requiem
Simon Rattle, conductor; Simon Halsey, chorus master (Thomas Quasthoff & Dorothea Röschmann; Rundfunkchor Berlin; Berliner Philharmoniker)
[EMI Classics]

Best Instrumental Soloist(s) Performance (with Orchestra)
(Award to the Instrumental Soloist(s) and to the Conductor.)

* Barber/Korngold/Walton: Violin Concertos
Bramwell Tovey, conductor; James Ehnes (Vancouver Symphony Orchestra)
[CBC Records]


Best Instrumental Soloist Performance (without Orchestra)
(Award to the Instrumental Soloist.)

* Beethoven Sonatas, Vol. 3
Garrick Ohlsson
[Bridge Records, Inc.]




Best Chamber Music Performance
(Award to the Artists.)

* Strange Imaginary Animals
Eighth Blackbird
[Cedille Records]



Best Small Ensemble Performance
(Award to the Ensemble (and to the Conductor.))

* Stravinsky: Apollo, Concerto In D; Prokofiev: 20 Visions Fugitives
Yuri Bashmet, conductor; Moscow Soloists
[Onyx Classics]


Best Classical Vocal Performance
(Award to the Vocal Soloist(s).

* Lorraine Hunt Lieberson Sings Peter Lieberson: Neruda Songs
Lorraine Hunt Lieberson (James Levine; Boston Symphony Orchestra)
[Nonesuch Records]



Best Classical Contemporary Composition
(A Composer's Award. (For a contemporary classical composition composed within the last 25 years, and released for the first time during the Eligibility Year.))

* Made In America
Joan Tower (Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Nashville Symphony Orchestra)
Track from: Tower: Made In America
[Naxos]


Best Classical Crossover Album
(Award to the Artist(s) and/or to the Conductor.

* A Love Supreme: The Legacy Of John Coltrane
Turtle Island Quartet
[Telarc]

Best Short Form Music Video
(For an individual track or single promotional clip. Award to the Artist and to the Video Director/Producer.)

* God's Gonna Cut You Down
Johnny Cash
Tony Kaye, video director; Rachel Curl, video producer
[American Records/Lost Highway Records]

Best Long Form Music Video

* The Confessions Tour
Madonna
Jonas Akerlund, video director; Sara Martin & David May, video producers
[Warner Bros.]

There is, however, a warning from history for Amy Winehouse. The last time a newcomer did so well at the Grammys, it was Christopher Cross. Indeed, he did a bit better, winning all his categories. It wasn't the start of an especially glittering career.

Secret stripes

Dame Eliza Manningham-Buller - former head of MI5 - is on Desert Island Discs. She's just chosen The White Stripes cover of I Don't Know What To Do With Myself, which is perhaps a little surprising. Maybe she liked the Kate Moss poledancing video.

Beck and Jack White: together at last

There's something strangely inevitable about the news that The White Stripes and Beck are coming together on a B-sides project - Mr White and Mr Hansen share that "we're going to have wild fun, but not until I say so" air which made them seem quite alluring at first but quickly just became wearing. Pitchfork's explanation of the the planned delivery method for these tracks underlines just how irritating that self-conscious quirkiness becomes:

The Stripes recently recorded a mess of B-sides with Mr. Beck Hansen in his living room, which they'll splay over a trio of 7" "Conquest" discs and an all-encompassing U.S.-only digital download. In addition to co-producing the sessions, Beck contributed vocals and piano to "It's My Fault for Being Famous" and played a little slide guitar on "Honey, We Can't Afford to Look Cheap". One black, one red, and one white 7" will be issued, each with "Conquest" on the front and a different B-side on the back, due in the U.S. December 18 from Third Man/Warner Bros. and in the UK December 31 on XL.

Oh, good lord, you can't just put 'em onto Amazon and have done with, can you?

"Meg White sex tape" immobilises indie kids, Googlers

If you've ever had sex anywhere near a camera, mobile phone, cassette recorder or court stenographer, you might as well accept that it's going to wind up online sooner or later. It doesn't make it right, but inevitability is a bit of a cruel bitch that way.

What's claimed to be a video of Meg White having sex has turned up online, leading to further speculation that perhaps it's the existence of the tape which has caused the anxiety that led to the cancellation of the tour.

Only problem, of course, is that it looks like a sex tape featuring someone who could pass for Meg White in a half light, rather than Meg herself, and - frankly - she could do a lot better than the potato-faced boy involved.

Growing anxiety

Following the anxiety-induced axing of the US tour, The White Stripes have now pulled their UK dates, too.

Meg White's high anxiety

The reason behind the scrapping of the White Stripes tour has been revealed: Meg White is suffering from extreme anxiety.

The band are apologetic about the cancellation:

"The White Stripes sincerely apologize to their fans. We hate to let people down and are very sorry."

It's a rock and a hard place - do you play, and feel anxious about that, or cancel, and feel anxious about the not playing?

White Stripes leave Austin

The White Stripes have pulled their Saturday appearance at the Austin City Limits festival, citing "medical reasons". No further information - sciatica? temporary colour blindness? - is forthcoming.