Battle for Voice judging seats more interesting than The Voice itself

With Jessie J having better things to do, and Danny From The Script having other things to do, there's some excitement at the question of 'who will be the judges when the third series of The Voice happens, as it surely shall, for it is foretold in the Bible'.

No, there really is some excitement. So much so that Paddy Power - the bookies that think kicking a cat is hilarious - have started offering odds on who will be spinning around.

The two incumbents who have yet to quit, Tom Jones and Will I Am, are both 3-1 on.

Beyond that, it's a mix of the plausible and the questionable. So, sure, you could see Olly Murs (10-1) turning up week-in, week-out, but the chances of Adele signing up are surely slimmer than the 12-1 odds suggest.

Likewise, you could perhaps see a world in which an 80-1 punt on Grace Jones could come off (for a couple of shows)... but the same odds on Shane McGowan?

Also: apparently Madonna is as likely to turn up on a Saturday night light entertainment show as Dannii Minogue. Srsly?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Gordon in the morning: Voices off

Apparently all is not well backstage at the Voice, where Danny O'Donoghue has started to blame the acts for falling short.

Remember Leanne Mitchell? She won last time round, and her album sold - well, let's not get into the specifics, but shall we go with 'fewer than a thousand copies'?

Now, there's all sorts of possible reasons for this - perhaps the way the audience for the programme fell away during the first series, and then the way it took another eleven months for an album to appear, by which time any traction had vanished.

But Danny thinks it's Leanne's fault:

Leanne was mentored on The Voice by judge TOM JONES, but now Danny has blamed her for her chart flop.

The Irishman said: “That’s not my fault, that’s not the show’s fault, that’s not the BBC’s fault, that’s just her fault. You can take an artist like that and question their work ethic.

“I was told by Tom Jones, and by the label as well, that Leanne just did not want to work as hard as you have to work to be a pop star."

To be fair, Danny, your mentoree Bo Bruce has hardly set the world alight; an album that briefly nudged into the Top 10 and then plummeted to earth, and a number 93 single.

Danny hasn't finished:

“She wanted to come on a show and win a singing contest.

“That’s good for her, because she won the show.

“But it’s not good for the premise of the show.”

But... isn't the premise of the show that it's a singing contest?

What does the BBC site say about the show?

Sir Tom Jones, will.i.am, Jessie J and Danny O'Donoghue search for The Voice UK, an incredible singing talent chosen purely on the quality of their voice.

That sounds a bit like a singing contest.

And the BBC Press Office?

The Voice UK will see four critically acclaimed recording artists seek out the nation's best vocal talent.

The indie production company also says it's a singing contest:

The Voice UK is a vocal contest series featuring people with real talent and great voices. Only the very best singers make it through to the televised auditions and get the chance to perform in front of four celebrity coaches. Praised by viewers and critics alike, it’s become one of the most successful new television shows around the world.

So everyone involved pitches the show as being about finding the person who's best at singing. Nowhere does the "premise of the show" claim it's about trying to find a pop star, or the hardest-working person in showbiz.

That's Danny, then, criticising a person who entered and won a singing contest for not behaving like she'd won a totally different competition. Curious.

Danny out the Script is now the second-most-famous person on The Voice

Trouble at The Voice, with both Jessie J and Tom Jones finding better things to do with their time instead of joining the next series.

Jessie J is desperately trying to arrange a tour so she has an excuse when the BBC pop round with an invite, while Tom Jones is apparently unable to think of any more anecdotes mentioning Elvis, so really can't see the point.

"I did think I had a tale left about meeting Marvin Gaye" explained Tom, "but then I remembered that I'd used it on the second programme. And, to be frank, the sort of new anecdote I was minting on this show - 'I once had a Nespresso with Danny out the Script' - weren't helping."

Will I Am will almost certainly come back, providing he's allowed to bounce up and down. Mr Am added: "And to go on a train. I wanna go on a train. And have ice cream. Oh - look, there's a pony."

Danny from The Script isn't yet sure he'll be coming back. A friend said "he realises last time he was lucky nobody realised he was only there to drop off a parcel; he doesn't reckon he'd be that jammy twice."

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Who's doing nicely out The Voice?

Is anyone doing well from The Voice? Obviously the procession of hats and brave faces competing have yet to pitch any wares (except, I guess, for the Five Star back catalogue), but the judges are doing very nicely.

Gennaro Castaldo, HMV's head of abacus-wielding, explains:

"So far Jessie has seen the biggest lift - with sales of her album nearly 100% up on the period before the show started," Gennaro Castaldo, head of press and PR at HMV told The Radio Times.

"It tends to be the performing guest artistes featured on reality TV audition shows that normally steal the headlines and see a lift in sales of their products, but for the first time it's actually the panel of judges on The Voice who appear to be benefiting."

Jessie J's album sales have been boosted by 89%, albeit in some sort of vague way:

[She] has experienced an 89% increase in sales of her first album Who You Are since the show began in March.

Presumably that's not she's sold 89% more than the total sales up until that point, but it's not entirely clear what period the comparison is with.

Fellow coach Danny O'Donoghue has also seen an increase. His band The Script have seen sales of their first two albums rise by 57% over the past four weeks

I'm presuming there's also been a 57% rise in people getting an album home and feeling really cheated in the same period.

Darkness at 3AM: A little behind deadline

Perhaps the 3AM Girls really do stay up to 3AM writing their column, which would explain why (a) it reads like it's been written by people who desperately want to be asleep and (b) it sometimes doesn't come spuming out of the TrinityMirror RSS machine until lunchtime.

Now they're live, we can all enjoy what sort-of-passes for wit amongst the Spice Girls:

Geri Halliwell has taken a pop at Eddie Murphy, who still hasn't seen his baby with her fellow Spice Girl Mel B. Asked to name her favourite Murphy film, Geri sneered: "Daddy Day Care."

Well, yes, that'll show Murphy.

They also find room fro this:

Kelly Osbourne certainly doesn't have the luck of the Irish. She tracked down digits for Danny O'Donoghue, of Dublin rockers The Script, so she could call for a meet-up - but he was in LA working.

Woman discovers man she doesn't know isn't in when she phones him! Hold the front page! We do, however, enjoy the implication that while Osbourne might lack the luck of the Irish, it certainly didn't desert O'Donoghue. If, of course, he really was working in LA, and not merely hiding behind the sofa mouthing "tell her I'm in LA" when Kelly rang.