The Daily Mail gets to grips with youth culture

As he's currently number one - there's nothing we can do about that - it does bring Matt Lucas comfortably into our remit and allows us to applaud the Mail's sure grip on modern entertainment, as it tops off a not-at-all unnewsworthy photos of Lucas waiting for a taxi with a headline based on a popular TV comedy show catchphrase.

Unfortunately, 'am I bovvered' is Catherine Tate, not Little Britain.

The era of Brave Kylie is now officially over

The period when any mention of Kylie in the red tops had to be accompanied by a reminder of how brave she is has now come to an end, as Victoria Newton turns her split with Olivier Martinez into a circus, (re)launching The Royal Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty to Kylie.

Yes, it's an old joke that Newton has warmed over, roping David Walliams in, although we suspect he didn't realise that Minogue's very real and painful split from her partner was about to be turned into a huge romp:

“She’s gorgeous and I hope she’s doing OK. I don’t know what went wrong with Olivier but I do know she deserves happiness and loyalty. She’s got my number if she wants to get together for a laugh.”

We wonder if Victoria Newton is going to do this for every couple who splits up. Will there, for example, be a Royal Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Rebekah, what with The Sun's editor having recently uncoupled from Ross Kemp? Perhaps with a logo with Wade's face on?

Meanwhile, Walliam's throwaway line of an offer of a bottle of wine and a curry is being treated by Newton as if it was the first step in an attempt to woo:

Swordsman Walliams has even thrown his hat in the ring. He would certainly be a popular choice with her gay following. And he would definitely bring a smile to her face.

We love the idea that Kylie will have to run her choice of partner past her gay fans - and that Newton thinks that Walliams has some sort of megastar status amongst the gay community.