Gordon in the morning: Not making it up

Victoria Beckham doesn't want to lead by example, Gordon has read somewhere:

VICTORIA Beckham has revealed she does not put on lipstick in front of daughter Harper — in case she copies her.

The ex-Posh Spice, 39, said her glam ban is one of her rules for bringing up her family correctly.

Victoria said: “I can’t put on make-up when Harper’s around, because she would join me immediately. She is a tomboy towards her brothers.”

I know what you're thinking - what the hell is "a tomboy towards her brothers" mean?

But let's focus here. Victoria doesn't put make-up on when Harper is around. Which is actually really good parenting, not forcing a child to accept that women should be wearing make-up.

Except... doesn't the way that Beckham's photo is often and repeatedly shown everywhere kind of make this a little odd?

It's not just that Harper will see photos of her mum with slap on everywhere, but because she never sees Victoria put it on, she's going to become convinced that its something that happens whenever Posh leaves the house. Isn't that going to be a bit discombobulating?

Gordon in the morning: Gordon in the Mail

There's an interesting chance to see not one, but two, of our successful tabloids at work this morning, as Adele is linked to a sponsorship deal.

Gordon breaks the story - and I'm using "breaks" generously here, as it seems to be little more than a collection of things that, theoretically, could happen:

MOST bets on the only brand with a chance of signing up ADELE would have been on Diamond White cider.

But that could all change thanks to a £10million pay cheque.

If they've actually negotiated a price, then the deal must be done, right?

Cosmetics giants including Estée Lauder, L’Oréal and Dior are fighting it out to make the singer the face of their skincare ranges.

Or it could be Cover Girl. Or Number Seven. Or Superdrug.

The vagueness of the story is underpinned, solely, by an unnamed source:

A source said: “Adele is in big demand. She would only accept if the campaigns were to her taste and incorporate her music.

“The last thing she wants is a cheesy ad with a naff catchphrase.

“They would have to be in keeping with her personality.

“It’s going to take a lot of persuasion to get her to agree but, right now, it looks as if she’s close to signing a deal.”

The last sentence there swings violently between suggesting that coming to a deal would take a lot of work, implying it's a distance off, and then saying it's nearly a done deal. Like it was being made up on the spot.

And, given that L'Oreal solely make cheesy ads with naff catchphrases, either the "source"'s claim of the sort of ad she might do is wrong, or Gordon's list of adverts being considered is wrong. Or both of them are wrong.

Gordon reminds readers that Adele has, in the past, been fairly firm about not wanting to do such a deal:

Adele has previously slated fellow stars for taking up similar beauty deals — and said she was concerned endorsements could “taint” her image.

He is generous, though, at this change of heart:

You can’t blame Adele for considering the big money offers. Despite banking £25million from the incredible successes of her albums 19 and 21, an extra £10million in the coffers would be hard to turn down.

So, a fairly typical Sun filler story - vague enough that if nothing happens people will forget it, but if Adele ever does turn up in an advert a 'you read it here first' piece can be built on the back of it - "a source said 'Adele had considered L'Oreal, but chose instead to get naked for PETA...'"

But nobody with half a mind would read this and come away thinking that Adele is already mouthing "get the London look" into a mirror, and planning where to put the money.

Luckily, Lucy Buckland suffers from no such restriction, copying the story across to the Daily Mail website.

Except by the time it arrives in the Mail - with a cheerful admission that the only source is what Lucy read in The Sun - the story has become more of an attack, shorn totally of Smart's 'good luck to her, who'd turn down that sort of offer':

Adele 'tempted to sign $10 million cosmetic sponsorship deal and move to LA' - despite slating stars who 'sell-out'

Oh, yes, there's an addition to the story, which is that Adele is moving to LA. Apparently this is somehow bad, too - though, to be fair, the Mail has always been consistent in its hatred of the idea of migration:

According to sources renting a house in LA was relaxing and after making friends with Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field she is becoming more attune to shipping out of Britain for good.

Word together threw, half-assed punctuation attempting not work.

'Adele and her man Simon are looking at a pad in one of the exclusive gated communities of Beverly Hills,' a source told The Daily Mirror, 'because Robbie and Ayda have told Adele that she would be able to have enough land not to feel too trapped, and she could have the privacy she so desperately needs to enjoy life.'

Oh, yes, that bit the Mail lifted from the Mirror, so at least it's a story with two sources.

Naturally, the Mail is unhappy at the idea of a British institution becoming so enamoured of American audiences that she might consider putting their needs first.

Although, let's just look at that headline again:

Adele 'tempted to sign $10 million cosmetic sponsorship deal and move to LA' - despite slating stars who 'sell-out'

Oddly, the Sun's ten million quid has turned into ten million greenbacks - and elsewhere her earnings are rendered in American money. Almost as if that British institution has become so enamoured of American audiences that it's putting their needs first.

Still, the Mail does at least try to add some journalism to the mix:

Adele's spokesman refused to comment after being contacted by MailOnline.

Being contacted about which story? Both? What did MailOnline actually ask? When did the Mail contact them - after these stories appeared late in the day on rival paper's websites, and was the refusal to comment a 'we have no comment', or 'I'm not in a position to comment on this'?

So, from a vague piece in The Sun, the Mail has decided that Adele is on the verge of selling out. I often wonder who believes what they read in Bizarre. I think we've now got our answer.

B*Witched, unblushered and bewildering

God love B*Witched, but I'm not sure they're the best band to go to for a famous faces without make-up article.

Don't you need people to remember what they look like with make-up for it to work?

The Daily Mail sets the scene:

While some popstars have felt the need to go under the knife to keep their young appearances, one girl group never felt the need to.

While welcoming the positive message of the piece, presumably part of the reason why B*Witched haven't popped down the cosmetic surgeon is not unrelated to the same reason that people haven't been popping down HMV to buy B*Witched records, surely?

The whole thing collapses in a self-defeating sinkhole:

'There’s a lot of pressure, especially on young girls, to look like the really polished version of celebs you see in magazines,' she told Heat magazine.

'It’s nice for them to see pictures like this.'

Yes. The best place to go to send out positive messages about body image to young women is Heat magazine, where they will sit unread amongst a bunch of articles about how fat, thin, wrinkly, sweaty and disgusting everyone else is. It's like doing a bit about peaceful dispute resolution in Guns And Ammo.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Gordon in the morning: Gallagher's gob

Liam Gallagher. You forget, between word-splurges, how tiresome he is, don't you?

Gallagher told NME: "Adam and the Ants? No. Not into a geezer who wears make-up. Especially f***ing nutty ones. And tell him 'You're not the only **** who's off his t*ts.'"

MIND and others have sighed, and pointed out to him that throwing words like "nutty" around about people with mental health problems is a cruel. So let's just look at the other half of his statement - that he ignores Adam Ant because he wears make-up.

Apart from being the sort of thing you don't much hear outside of 1970s sitcom fathers, it's such a musically ignorant statement you'd expect it to be coming from someone who... well, makes records like Beady Eye do.

On the other hand, there might be an argument for avoiding inept wearers of make-up:

Liam Gallagher has taken to dyeing his hair and wearing eyeliner, according to brother Noel. "I think he's trying to head off old age but it'll catch him," explained the guitarist.

Old age might catch him; it's unlikely to bring its usual wisdom, though.

Mariah Carey: The true meaning of bravery

The News Of The World likes to talk a lot about our "brave boys", but how can we understand what the paper considers to be "brave"?

Helpfully, there's a story which helps us calibrate this morning:

Brave Mariah Carey is...

Yes?

... filmed without make-up

Never mind the movie she's made, surely someone should be pitching a film based on this selfless sacrifice?

Cerys Matthews naked cheeks

No, no, her face cheeks - Cerys is heading a campaign to encourage women (and, presumably, men) to go a day without make-up:

“We’re so used to all these images of perfection that we’re at the point where we don’t go out without make-up, which is ridiculous,” she says.

“I’ve got a daughter who’s four and she’s make-up mad. She’s into Shakira in a big way. It’s spooky how quickly she’s jumped aboard the ‘sexy painted lady’ look. I want her to grow up knowing she’s absolutely perfect just as she is.

“I like Tilda Swinton not wearing make-up on the red carpet and I hate it when people make fun of that. I think we forget how beautiful we can be without make-up, when you’ve been for a walk in the country and you’re glowing naturally.”

It's somehow - although the Wales On Sunday doesn't quite explain how - meant to raise money for the British Skin Foundation and, somewhat less nobly, to sell bottles of mineral water.