DOES IT COUNT AS AN EXAMPLE IF NOBODY NOTICES?: The main justification for the RIAA's continued extortion-like use of writs against ordinary people is that it's meant to "educate" the public. But last week, another 717 lawsuits were filed, and barely anyone even mentioned it. Since the prospect of suing everyone who does dubious things with music on the net is a mathematical impossibility, that the court cases haven't reversed the use of unlicensed music online, and they're no longer attracting enough attention to count as an anti-piracy marketing campaign, why on earth is the organisation proceeding with its vindicitive campaign? A lousy idea remains a lousy idea, even if you carry on with it after it's been proved to be a lousy idea - something, surely, Geri Halliwell's career demonstrates time and again.

<>KIM BLOCKED BY COUNCIL GUY: Kim Wilde was due to go and present an award to a group of Manchester residents. They'd been awarded a prize by the Commission for Architecture and the Built Environment, CABE, for the piece of Hulme land enjoyed by children as a nature reserve. Suddenly, though, Roger Jackson, a non-elected official at the City Council's Regeneration South body. Jackson's problem, apparently, was that he was afraid drawing attention to the land 's value as an environmentally important site in the inner city might screw with Regeneration South's plans to flog the land off for development. Oddly, the residents - who Regeneration South are supposed to be serving - would rather have their nature reserve and Kim Wilde than some buildings. But Mr. Jackson won't be swayed.

SUDDEN HEART SHOCK: Last week's radio ratings have really thrown up a few flutters: Heart, which had been looking to overtake Capital in London, suddenly found itself in third place as EMAP's oldie format Magic did a surprise steam into second place - and just 0.1% of audience share behind the Capital behemoth itself.

Chrysalis shares plummeted in response, and in a desperate, panicked move, Jono Coleman has been dumped from breakfast. Coleman - a man who even a Care Bear would find it difficult to like - has been at the helm of the Heart's breakfast show since the end of the last century, and for a time had been doing quite well for audience, benefitting from Chris Tarrant's extended holidays and the presence of Doctor Fox at the Capital chair. Now there's other options, he's managed to lose a quarter of a million listeners. So he's being ousted to make way for Jamie Theakston. There are a lot of good reasons for employing Theakston - not least his knowledge of what forty quid can buy you in a late night London club - but these don't seem to have impressed Heart half as much as test marketing in key demographics.

In the other radio figures, Terry Wogan is now pulling in eight million listeners for the Radio 2 breakfast show. In part, this is due to Radio 2's positioning of itself as a younger, more aware station; but we can't help wondering if there's also been a benefit from the switch in the way pensions are paid. Before their cash became channelled through bank accounts, OAPs would start gathering in large numbers outside Post Offices
waiting for them to open; now, they'll all be at home instead. That's got to elp Tel's figures.

HAVING HIS DAY IN COURT: We've just been watching Channel 4 News' coverage of the first day proper of the Jackson trial; his fans manage to come across as even more potty than he does. Or rather, just insufferable: they may disagree with the opinion of a woman C4N were trying to interview (she was there to speak up for victims of child abuse) but standing beside her bellowing over the top of her isn't really making a point, it's just showing yourself up.

Not that there's as many supporters of Jackson as you might have been lead to believe - although they were expecting 5000 to turn up, only 200 actually showed up. Maybe the run of leaks have worked away some of his support over the last few months. Even so, Santa Maria hotels and rental properties are enjoying a mini-boom as journalists digging in for a long stay aren't in anything approaching short supply. Amongst them, casting an amused eye over the proceedings, is Peter Bowes, contributing a newsblog.

INDIE ROYALTY ATTEND SONIC CATHEDRAL: Emma from Lush, Russell from Chapterhouse and Sonic Boom - it's only an Alex James short of being a Slowdive guestlist, but in fact it's the line-up for the next Sonic Cathedral club night: February 24th at The Legion in London's busy Old Street.

Meanwhile, in her modern incarnation as Emma from Sing-Sing, album releases are being prepared: the new collection is due late spring/early summer and will be known to young and old alike as 'Sing-Sing and I'. A download single will hearald everything swinging into readyness.

FIRE! FIRE!: We've got a feeling that, as last year Franz Ferdinand were the next big thing, but Bloc Party was already warming up, so in 2005, Bloc Party are picking up the tips, but The Arcade Fire are the band whose name everyone will be dropping for certain in 2006. Anyway, they've just added a second show for London, on March 17th (ULU); they've sold out the Kings College date on the 8th.

The album Funeral is currently available on US Import and from 28th February on its UK release.

CROAKING: Johnny Borrell's laryngitis hasn't been helped by travelling on a plane so soon after diagnosis, and so Razorlight have had to cancel their UK tour as well as pulling those American dates. Although, of course, the illness - which Borrell described as "stagefright" in Denver has now mutated again into a "laryngitis type infection":

Singer, Johnny Borrell, developed serious problems with his voice whilst on tour in the US. The band were forced to cut short their North American dates, canceling the final sold-out show at Los Angeles's El Rey Theatre, whilst Johnny saw a specialist in Los Angeles.

He was diagnosed as suffering from a laryngitis type infection, administered anti-inflammatories and banned from singing for at least two weeks. Johnny immediately flew home to London to consult a second vocal specialist who confirmed his condition, put him on a course of medication and ordered complete rest.

Johnny, Björn, Carl, and Andy apologise for the inconvenience caused to all those coming to the shows and are keen to reschedule the sold-out six night run at Manchester Apollo, Glasgow Academy, and London's Alexandra Palace with as little delay as possible.

While Johnny is frustrated by his enforced silence he is determined to recover his vocal chords as fast as he can and promises to make the re-scheduled shows the most memorable rock'n'roll nights of the year.

THE JOY OF SELF-DELUSION: It's only a matter of time before bright red potato head Wayne Rooney is persuaded to make a record, so his ne'er do well family are already rushing to beat him to it. His girlfriend Colleen has been rumoured to be planning to get a singing career - even although she has the look of someone for whom a Saturday stint in a florists would be a stretch - and now James Rooney, a "lookalike cousin" has poked his potato-face round the door. James believes he is the UK's "answer to Justin Timberlake", and we have no doubt he is, in the same way that Rentokil is an answer to rats. He's threatening to release a cover of Bobby Brown's Two Can Play That Game, although Several Can Live Off One Person's Success might be more accurate.

MUSIC ISN'T ABOUT MUSIC, SILLY: What with endless rather poorly made programmes featuring people setting fire to farts, rappers showing off their 'homes', gaunt children trying to get on in houses in the city, pretty girls marrying dim boys and so on cluttering up their schedules these days, you might wonder if MTV had considered changing their name - it's hardly Music Television these days.

But you'd be wrong - apparently, it doesn't matter that MTV plays bugger all music these days, because it's never been about being able to watch music on television:

"You can get a music video online at Yahoo or a million other places, but you can't get the full experience that you can get with an MTV off-air experience," says Joe Armenia, VP of music marketing and promotion at MTV. "Being able to put the viewer in touch with the artist is one of the advantages MTV brings to the table."

So, it's Music Television because you might be able to win a contest and meet Beyonce - which is an interesting proposition that might prove attractive to Sky Sports. They don't need to keep shelling out for all those Premiership rights: they could just show old Harold Lloyd movies and bung in a chance to win tickets to Plymouth Argyle games during the ad breaks. Sure, some people might feel cheated, but it's still sports, right?

WHERE IS THY STING?: A little curiosity has turned up on Reuters: Stewart Copeland talking about a Police reunion - without Sting. That's, of course, second only in desirability to a Sting solo tour without Sting. Oddly, they're doing dates with Incubus...

GREAT WHITE PLEADS FIFTH: Jack Russell, the singer from Great White, has regused to answer civil suit allegations against him in cases rising out of the Providence nightclub fire set off by his band's pyrotechnic displays. Oddly, though, Rhode Island Attorney General's spokesperson Mike Healey says there are no plans to prosecute anyone not yet indicted for the fire - in other words, there should be nothing to stop Russell from helping the families to understand what happened to their loved ones.

DUMB LUCK: Together at last - McFly and Lindsay Lohan. The band, who still aren't as good as Busted even though Busted have ceased to exist, are going to have a small part in Lohan's film Just My Luck. Tom McFly is described in the script as being "cool and remarkably talented", but then he's described as a musician on his passport.

UNLIKELY NEWS REPORTS OF OUR TIME: We find it difficult to believe that Bono was humbled by meeting Bill Clinton - humble not being a thing we've ever seen any evidence of Mr. Vox managing. Perhaps "I decided I needed to adopt an air of false humility" wasn't such a pleasing soundbite.

Bono says of Clinton:

"I thought Clinton looked more like a pop star than I did. And I thought he might be thinking that, too."

So do we, Bono. And so does everyone. Because he does. You don't look like a pop star at all - you look like a chap trying to hold on to his youth by buying your sunglasses from the more expensive Boots range.

MORE THAN YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MARIAH'S LOVELIFE: Mariah Carey - yes, the new album's getting near and so they're sloshing the publicity out again - has denied having a thing with a bloke at her new record company saying she doesn't want to be tied down in her relationships any more. That's going to come as a severe disappointment to the only people who care about her any more, as it closes down one of their favourite daydreams. Luckily, ours is unaffected - we just dream of her wearing a gag. Not for sex or anything just like that. No, Mariah wearing a gag is about the extent of it.

OH MY GOD, THERE'S MORE OF THEM: Aimee Osbourne was the one who didn't appear in the 'reality' TV show, of course, which suggests that she's at least got more sense than the others. She'd sat out the circus because she thought that taking part might harm her chances of being taken seriously as a singer in her own right. Now, though, she's judged the time right and is about to launch her career as a soul singer.

Curiously, although she thought appearing on TV with her family might damage her image when she came to release a single, she had no such qualms about doing this:



- yes, modelling with Paris Hilton. It's exactly what Nina Simone would be doing if she was alive, you know.

LESS 'WHO', MORE 'WHY?': We can only presume that Robert Stigwood finds himself living out the plot of Brewster's Millions. Because if he wasn't racing against the clock to burn through a big pile of cash, why would the producer of Tommy be looking to remake the movieas a USD400million cartoon with voices by Robbie Williams and Bono?

It wouldn't be the first time he'd returned to something he should have left alone: he produced the first Grease, which was, of course, wonderful. But then he decided to have a crack at Grease 2. He did the big-screen Jesus Christ Superstar, but couldn't help himself trying another Lloyd-Webber and inflicted Madonna's take on Evita upon us. He wasn't revisiting old territory when he did this, though:



The man who got The Bee Gees to make Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band should surely not be allowed to purchase any movie film ever again?

KYLIE IN THE COWSHED: This year's Paul McCartney in the "...but if we don't watch them, we can be on the road back to civilisation before anyone else..." Sunday slot at Glastonbury? Kylie, says the Mirror.

IT'S NOW AND FOREVER: After a brief hiccup to the plan, Elvis is back at number one. World leaders have rushed to congratulate him on his success:



And looking at this picture of Elvis shaking the hand of that upstanding character, Richard Nixon, we find ourselves idly wondering what happened to the plan to add downloads into the singles chart. Could it be that the scheme has been put on hold until after the parade of Elvis, as the sudden inclusion of records being bought by people under the age of 40 would swamp the "king" certainly out the top five and possibly out the top 10. But surely the chart companies wouldn't be colluding in a publicity stunt?

Talking of Elvis: this year's Elvis cash-in album, some sort of Valentine's collection, features an advert with people lip-synching Presley songs morphing in to one another. An original idea, and no less original for having been done by Godley and Creme twenty years ago. Or Michael Jackson. Or Pink.

STOP THIS NOW: While we're certain that they're so fresh out of ideas at Universal, they might be thinking "That Nikki Sanderson who plays Candice in Corrie was alright on Stars In Their Eyes, let's get her to make records. But presumably they've not been watching her day job close enough: is it really a good idea to try and make a pop star from someone who's character is little more than a pisstake of Victoria Beckham?

LOOK! HE'S HYPERCOOL: Now, while we can understand Kate Moss being upset by this widely circulated picture of a talented young man pissing his future away:



...but we're not sure we can quite understand her apparent reaction. Maybe The Sun misheard - perhaps it wasn't "it's drugs or me"; perhaps it was "keep drugs for me." Whatever, someone who has had experience of the model and rock worlds, and who has spent more than three minutes with Doherty is hardly likely to be surprised by a picture of him doing drugs, are they? It'd be like someone who works for Tesco being surprised that they were found to be the least ethical large company in Britain. But it fits the frankly incredible tabloid frame for this story, of druggy-rocker-fiend leading sweet-innocent-princess astray.

GAYNOR: I WILL SURVIVE: It's been a terrible week for terrible bands - not only did Nickelback lose a drummer, but Matchbox 20 are now down a guitarist: Adam Gaynor has quit the band, an event he clearly feels will be the strop heard around the world:

as you may have read I will no longer be a member of the band. I know most of you were confused if not angered by this news. I wish there was some bright rainbow of an answer here.... but there is not".

Well, I know we've been feeling both confused and angered, punching walls and then not being able to remember why I punched the walls. Although it's not actually that confusing - there was a gang of three in M20 (Rob Thomas, Paul Douchette and Brian Yale) who control the business of the band, and the other two - Gaynor and Kyle Cook - got what was left over.

Gaynor is now going to proceed forward as a solo artist.

THE SQUEAKY GATES DON'T ALWAYS GET THE OIL: It's been a while since Gareth Gates popped up, hasn't it? But the reason for his absence from our radios, televisions and, yes, our thoughts has now been revealed: his comeback is going to be "rockier" and, as such, Gates has been trying to grow some designer stubble. But surely that would only have taken him about three months? Where's he been for the other nine?

THE FUTURE'S BRIGHT. YOUR FUTURE'S JASON ORANGE'S: What does a pretty boy do, eh? Matt Willis has been flapping like a fish in a drought since the end of Busted, saying that it's been the worst two weeks of his life. So far, Matt, so far... wait until an unsympathetic dole office clerk pretends he can't hear you clearly and so makes you keep repeating "I was in a band... Busted" until everyone in the room is looking.

And then he'll say: "Right, Mr. Willis, so you're a musician. And what instruments can you play, then?"

PIE-CHART BAND DEEMED 'PERFECT FIT' FOR MASS-CONSUMPTION MUSICAL EVENT: Maroon 5, the first band ever to be constructed entirely from a Powerpoint presentation, have been invited to open this year's Grammy Awards ceremony.

"We ran some figures through an Excel spreadsheet," explained a Grammys spokesperson, "and this band scored highly on both demographics and innoffensiveness; plus a load of people can't tell them apart from a lot of other, more expensive bands. And their people did a flipchart presentation which suggested that they're so indistinctive, even people who hate them won't realise who it is they're watching until the back-announcement, so they're absolutely the perfect Grammy act."

GINSTERS SHARES UP 37 ON THE NEWS: The band featuring members of the old Manic Street Preachers, the Manic Street Preachers are planning a British tour. They'll be calling in and using the microwave oven at petrol stations en route to the following dates:

Southampton, Guildhall (April 3)
Derby Assembly Rooms (4)
Wolverhampton Civic Hall (6)
Swansea Brangwyn Hall (7)
Liverpool Royal Court (9)
Bristol Colston Hall (11)
Cambridge Corn Exchange (12)
Newcastle City Hall (14)
Edinburgh Corn Exchange (15)
Leeds University Refectory (17)
Hammersmith Apollo (18)

LOOKING FORWARD TO A POSITIVE RESULT: Connections to mjjsource.com are currently being refused, so we've not been able to inspect Michael Jackson's plea for a fair trial first hand [it is available through the BBC News Player, though] - oddly for a man whose defence team has spent much of the last year trying to ensure that evidence doesn't make it into court, he seems happily convinced that he will be "acquitted and vindicated when the truth is told", which might be kind of tricky. It could be that Jackson is innocent - and proven to be - of child abuse, but that won't actually be the same thing as a vindication: after all, he brought this on himself by inviting Martin Bashir in for a chin-wag and blithely babbling on about having small boys in his bedroom. The court is going to decide if Jackson has broken a law or not; but it's too late to save his reputation.

PWEI-GRATIFICATION: So, the reports back from the sort of people going to see the newly Lazarused Pop Will Eat Itself are that the gigs are pleasing for the sort of people who'd want to go to them and - more importantly - they are playing Sweet Sweet Pie. Apparently, they've also inked a deal with Officially Evil Corporation Clear Channel which allows the curious to purchase live recordings of the comeback tour. As Mark Ellen once said: "I believe they call it 'Greebo'..."

DONE SOUTH: The nice people at Donewaiting are counting down (and up) to this year's SXSW with a dedicated blog. All the news, as it happens.

NOT MUCH FOR A HELL OF A LIFE: Although we wouldn't say no if someone came up to us and gave us eighty grand, it seems a bit of a shame that Lonnie Donegan had only £82,000 left in his will. Better off than most British pensioners, perhaps, but still: when you look at some of the people he influenced living in their castles and eating larks and drinking liquid platinum, there's a sense of unfairness to it all.


You could help out by buying the Rock Island Line Box Set.

SHELTERED LIVE: While we think it's lovely that yourcodenameis:milo are going to play an old people's home, we fear something awful might be about to happen. They've been asked to play a home where one of the band's grandma lives, but we're not sure they quite know what they're getting.

They're going to get:


Your Code Name Is Milo

But we think they'll be expecting:


A lovely cup of Nestle Milo