APPPARENTLY, THE PROTECTION OF GOD MIGHT NOT BE ENOUGH: Fred Durst pulled gigs because of the fear of terrorism. Madonna pulled out of gigs in Israel because she was afraid of terrorists (although, oddly, she was happy to suggest everyone might like to go there on holiday). But you might have thought the Mormon Tabernacle Choir would have had enough courage to consider a trip abroad, right? Apparently not - they've just axed their plans to tour overseas next year because they're not entirely convinced they'd be protected from the whims of the crazed. And what hotspot had they been booked to play? Um... England and Wales.

THE PUBLIC HAVE SPOKEN: We're not sure that the Record of the Year proves anything much, other than the effectiveness of a redial button on a Nokia mobile, but if it's to be believed, Thunderbirds by Busted is the greatest record of the year. The ITV show this evening dragged this list of five records up:

1. Busted - Thunderbirds
2. McFly - Five Colours in Her Hair
3. Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
4. Will Young - Leave Right Now
5. Katie Melua - Closest Thing To Crazy

We're not entirely certian we want to live in Britain any more. Perhaps the biggest surprise is that Closest Thing To Crazy is only from this year; it seems to have been round stinking the place up for years. Maybe it's just that it's been used in so many bloody trailers that it's like it's started to feel like the Queen's face on the coins.

JOHNNY MARKS OWNS CHRISTMAS: ASCAP, the American royalties society, produces a list of the most-performed Christmas songs - a top 25 - which shows that Johnny Marks is the most successful Christmas song-writer in the world, ever, as he has three entries in the chart (Rudolph, Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree and A Holly Jolly Christmas. We've never heard the last one, but who are we to question the wisdom of ASCAP?

And if you need a little reassurance that Christmas traditions are in place, the youngest song on the Top 25 is a quarter of a century old - Wing's Wonderful Christmastime.

The chart in full:
1. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) Mel Tormé. Robert Wells)
2. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas (Ralph Blane, Hugh Martin)
3. Winter Wonderland (Felix Bernard, Richard B. Smith)
4. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (Fred Coots, Haven Gillespie)
5. White Christmas (Irving Berlin)
6. Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! (Sammy Cahn, Jule Styne)
7. I'll Be Home For Christmas (Walter Kent, Kim Gannon, Buck Ram)
8. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (Johnny Marks)
9. Little Drummer Boy (Katherine K. Davis, Henry V. Onorati, Harry Simeone)
10. Jingle Bell Rock (Joseph Carleton Beal, James Ross Boothe)
11. Silver Bells (Jay Livingston, Ray Evans)
12. Sleigh Ride (Leroy Anderson, Mitchell Parish)
13. Feliz Navidad (José Feliciano)
14. It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year (Edward Pola, George Wyle)
15. Blue Christmas (Billy Hayes, Jay W. Johnson)
16. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree (Johnny Marks)
17. Frosty The Snowman (Steve Nelson, Walter E. Rollins)
18. A Holly Jolly Christmas (Johnny Marks)
19. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (Tommie Connor)
20. It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas (Meredith Willson)
21. Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane) (Gene Autry, Oakley Haldeman)
22. Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney)
23. Carol Of The Bells (Peter J. Wilhousky, Mykola Leontovich)
24. Santa Baby (Joan Ellen Javits, Philip Springer, Tony Springer)
25. This Christmas (Donny Hathaway, Nadine McKinnor)

GIFTED: It's the time of year when Music Choice knock together a survey about music, and this year they're warning people that dodgy CDs will get a bloke dumped. The survey warns men that a small square packet containing the following artists will result in being binned off:

Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Phil Collins, Wet Wet Wet

Which makes sense. On the other hand, these are deemed to be bands who will delight a lady and keep you inside her tender embrace:

Damian Rice, Robbie Williams, Joss Stone, Westlife, Usher, Elton John

On the other hand, if our partner expressed a desire to own a Westlife CD, we'd be hugely unlikely to even bother going Christmas shopping for them.

ONE MAN, ONE VOTE, ONE TRACK, ONE ALBUM, ONE VISION, ONE NATION, ONE PEOPLE, ONE VOLTA: The Mars Volta have announced their intention to release an album with one track on it early in the new year. I guess it'll make it easier to select the single. Frances The Mute will last for a full 77 minutes.

This shouldn't be confused with a Blue album, where there are many tracks, but just one idea.

ANOTHER SWEEP FOR EVIDENCE: We're not sure if the idea was merely to wind him up, or so the police could have another go on the big dipper, but there's been another raid for evidence on Neverland.

POLLY PLAYS EXTRA: As a warm-up to her Morrissey support, PJ Harvey is going to do a quickie at the Royal Court - the London one, mind; December 11th.

THEY DO REALISE THEY'LL HAVE TO SING, DON'T THEY?: It's only taken a year and a half, but Girls Aloud have decided to go on tour. We're sure the implications of this have been explained to them, so we can only assume they're ready for this big, exciting leap. Kimberley Walsh:

"We've been itching to do this for a long time. But we decided to wait until we had two albums worth of songs to perform before we took to the stage. The time is right for us to give the fans a show they deserve. We're so excited."

That's what the delay has been, then - they've been waiting until there were enough songs around for them to sing. Not because most venues doubted they'd be able to pull a cracker come Christmas, much less a crowd. We do wonder how new bands manage to fill their shows, though: some groups go on tour before they've recorded any albums at all.

BUT THIS TIME HE REALLY MEANS IT: We thought it was kind of cheesey when the likes of Westlife started to say "we'll carry on as a band if the single makes it to the Top 10...", but Pete Doherty has taken things to a whole new level - promising to kick the crack if the new single goes top ten this week. So, there you are, then: if you don't buy Killamangiro it'll be your fault if he's found dead in a ditch.

We're not sure we totally believe Pete, either: "If you give me a sudden injection of extra cash, I promise I shan't be spending it on the crack cocaine..."

A DIFFERENT KIND OF BLUE: I don't like it. 6Music has done an overhaul of its website. It's in eye-gouging aquamarine. Ow, my beautiful eyes.

MEGAMAN IN COURT: So Solid's Megaman didn't quite appear in court on murder charges earlier today - Dwayne Vincent was connected to court via video link. He's been remanded in custody pending a further appearance on January 19th, where he will enter a plea on charges relating to the death of Colin Scarlett last month. A bail application is expected to be heard later today.

I'M A POLITICIAN, BUY ME: Krist Novoselic, once of Nirvana, has learned the lessons of politics swiftly and well: he's worked out that you're biddable, and so he's put himself up for sale on Ebay. We did wonder at first how it was allowed - Ebay in the US have a rule forbidding the sale of foodstuffs - but apparently when he says you can have lunch, it's with him, not of him. The cash will go to People For The American Way. At time of writing, the bids are up to USD1,650.

DON'T LISTEN TO ME: Bob Dylan has tried to shake-off his role as a seer and a prophet, telling a TV audience that he isn't a spokesperson for anyone or anything. Except of course Victoria's Secrets, who he took a small cash payment from to become spokesperson for their brand. Clearly, if his generation really want him to be their voice, they'll need to put together a financial package and talk to his agent.

iT HAD TO HAPPEN: We didn't think Apple could get away long trying to charge more for a download in the UK than in Germany or France - and now the Office of Fair Trading has got involved, referring the pricing structure to the European Commission. Apple's position has been to mutter that CDs are more expensive in the US, which doesn't really explain how they justify refusing UK consumers to purchase their tracks from the German server, and that the "real comparison is to be made with the price of other track downloads in the UK." So, it's okay to rip people off if everyone's doing it? Doesn't that sound oddly like the way a Cartel would work?

SINGEROBIT: Kevin Coyne, singer-songwriter, has lost his battle with lung fibrosis. He was 60. A talented painter and writer as well as a musician, Coyne was born at the end of the war in Derby. In 1961, he enrolled at Derby College of Art, after which he spent some time working as a drug counsellor in Soho - something which would provide him with a rich store images and tales for his creative careers. His big musical break came with discovery by John Peel and a spell at the DJ's Dandelion label, befire moving on to Virgin in 1973.

In 1981, Coyne had a nervous breakdown - brought on by too much booze and too much work - and as part of the recuperation process relocated to Germany. The country was to become home for the rest of his life. Although growing in reputation as a writer and painter, Coyne continued to make music - including the special project Burning Head (each of which came with an exclusive artwork) and The Adventures of Crazy Frank.

A hook-up with Brendan Croker in 2002 led to the acclaimed Life Is Almost Wonderful and more recently Coyne had established his own llabel, Turpentine Records. Sadly, he'd only had the chance to release one album, Donut City, before the diagnosis of lung fibrosis caught up with him.

Coyne's place in pub trivia was assured in 1971. The Doors, suddenly discovering their tubby singer Jim Morrison had died, approached him and offered him the front man job. Coyne claimed later his reason for turning them down was a dislike of leather trousers.

THE CORRECT USE OF IPODS: You'll recall a few years back U2 got into a bit of a grump with Negativland, believing that a little sample and some artwork might "confuse" U2 fans. Now, bringing the batttle up to date, Negativland have created a U2 vs Negativland special edition iPod. It's the usual iPod U2 special edition, only it also comes pre-loaded with Negativland albums too. Ebay have it

We've also just come across this interview where The Edge found himself being interviewed by Negativland - of course, you know, the band wouldn't have reacted like that, but it was the label, and what could they do, it's not like Island's biggest artists have any influence... To be fair to Edge, though, he does talk through the implications; even, at one point, when the phone goes down, he rings back to continue the conversation.

[Thanks for the Ebay watching to Fergus]

THE CORRECT USE OF IPODS: You'll recall a few years back U2 got into a bit of a grump with Negativland, believing that a little sample and some artwork might "confuse" U2 fans. Now, bringing the batttle up to date, Negativland have created a U2 vs Negativland special edition iPod. It's the usual iPod U2 special edition, only it also comes pre-loaded with Negativland albums too. Ebay have it

We've also just come across this interview where The Edge found himself being interviewed by Negativland - of course, you know, the band wouldn't have reacted like that, but it was the label, and what could they do, it's not like Island's biggest artists have any influence... To be fair to Edge, though, he does talk through the implications; even, at one point, when the phone goes down, he rings back to continue the conversation.

[Thanks for the Ebay watching to Fergus]

... AND THEN SHE DROVE INTO THE ROSE GARDEN: Lynn Anderson, who is best known for that song "I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden" from ages ago has added another name to the long list of country artists charged with DUI. A concerned citizen called the cops when they spotted her car zooming all over Interstate 35W; by the time the police arrived they had to wake her up to see if she was drunk. (She had pulled over onto the hard shoulder, we ought to point out). This was at 7 am.

... AND THEN SHE DROVE INTO THE ROSE GARDEN: Lynn Anderson, who is best known for that song "I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden" from ages ago has added another name to the long list of country artists charged with DUI. A concerned citizen called the cops when they spotted her car zooming all over Interstate 35W; by the time the police arrived they had to wake her up to see if she was drunk. (She had pulled over onto the hard shoulder, we ought to point out). This was at 7 am.

OUR FRIEND'S IN THE NORTH: Pete Doherty plans to play a set of four gigs in the North (and, um, Birmingham), all on New Year's Eve. Pete Doherty, the booziest night of the year, a scramble across the country: what could possibly go wrong?

ANOTHER SUCCESS FOR THE BRITISH MEDIA: Today's front pages. Can you spot the difference?

OUR FRIEND'S IN THE NORTH: Pete Doherty plans to play a set of four gigs in the North (and, um, Birmingham), all on New Year's Eve. Pete Doherty, the booziest night of the year, a scramble across the country: what could possibly go wrong?

ADVENT-URES IN HI-FI: If you've forgotten to pick up an advent calendar in the all fun of the autumn, you could try using the Ordinary Boys online version. There's a treat, and/or a chance to meet the band behind every door, and a door for everyday between now and Christmas. We're not sure, but we're beating 24 will have a crack-addled Santa behind it.

208 TO RETURN?: RTL is talking about the possibility of reviving Radio Luxembourg - although, to be honest, it could just be teasing Wirelist members by saying it will. The idea is to resurrect the concept of broadcasting radio from a legal transmitter in one country with output targetted at another - something that more or less ran out of steam ten years or more ago when a looser hand at the UK regulatory authorities opened up a wider range of stations broadcasting to the UK, from the UK. This time it'll be digital rather than medium wave, but it's hard to see what the attraction would be in a UK radio market already offering a really broad range of services anyway.

LADY WITH THE LITTLE DOG: If Britney Spears is as pregnant as ever newspaper seems sure she is, how come she's gone out shopping for a chihuahua?

Photographers: Hey, Britney... what are you going to call your little lapdog?
Britney, puzzled: Sometimes I call him Kevin, sometimes 'honey...'

NICE TO KEEP A SENSE OF PROPORTION: Madonna has had a guy turn up delivering letters to her house a couple of times - so, rather than thinking "That'll be the postman, then", she's now convinced she will be shot, just like John Lennon. It really has become the standard response to seeing someone skulking around your wheelie-bin, hasn't it? "Ooh, clearly I'm going to be shot like John Lennon."

It's true there are uncanny parallels between the two - Madonna was born in New York and now lives in England; Lennon was born in England and moved to New York. Both married someone who quickly abandoned any pretence to being an independent person and adopted the role of 'spouse of...', sometimes knocking out a truly rubbish piece of art/film work that people pretended to like to avoid upsetting their more important partner. Both claimed to be spiritual and interested in a simple life while living in several elaborate houses. Both had an involvement in some classic pop moments but didn't really do anything worthwhile much more than five years into their careers.

Madonna is apparently "too scared" to leave her house right now (the odd trip out to do a five million advert shoot aside).

WRITE THESE DOWN: If ever words looked likely to come back to haunt someone, it's surely Hilary Duff's claim that she'll never get caught out like Ashlee Simpson:

"I've definitely felt pressure, but the band and me are all live so I feel really comfortable about that, that that could never happen to me. But I have felt pressure before because in Europe they want you to lip-synch on their TV shows and it's really hard to stand your ground because there it's so normal. Like in Paris people do it all the time. I'm actually friends with Ashlee and people are giving her such a hard time but, I don't know, I just think it sucks."

We find it hard to believe that anyone in European television much wants Hillary Duff to appear, much less lip-synch, and we're not really sure if Duff means synching sucks or Ashlee being attacked for it sucks. But we do love the idea that simply everyone in Paris synchs, darling. Mitterand never gave a speech without at the very least a guide track laid down first.

THAT EXPLAINS A LOT: In a bid to try and reposition himself as a bit of a bad boy, Brian McFadden has not just been growing a beard - expected to turn into something manly sometime round February on current growth rates - but he's also been talking up his drinking. He's now claiming to have gone to a rehab clinic "twice", apparently since Kerry McChipShop went back to Warrington. Since two stints of rehab seem unlikely in such a brief period, we can only presume he went to the clinic once to ask if they had a carjack he could borrow, and once to return it.

McFadden says that he was drunk all day, every day, while he was writing his album, which is astonishing. We used to write stuff when we were drunk and by the time we'd sobered up we couldn't make any sense of it at all, apart from (normally) the words "very important" and some exclamation marks - and although we do agree that McFadden's album sounds like the work of a man who might have had a sherry trifle inside him, we're a little surprised that someone who was drunk "all day, every day" to such an extent they needed two drying out periods was able to produce a coherent album during that period.

MISSING THE STORY: Surely the real significance of the news that - despite TRL, GM-TV and god knows what other appearances, Nadia's single has yet to clock up its 2000th sale isn't that it's doing poorly (frankly, 2000 sales is more than it deserves) but it's currently sitting at 22 in the midweek charts. A thousand and some odd sales, and it's within spitting distance of the Top 20? The Hollywood team making that movie about how the Alarm "tricked" their way into the Top 30 might want to find out exactly how many records the band sold to do that.

DAD AS VINYL VI: In other words, David Sylvian's been remixed - there's going to be a new version of all the stuff on Blemish released as Good Son v The Only Daughter at the end of January. Remix work includes stuff by Ryoji Ikeda, Burnt Friedman, Readymade FC, Joshihiro Hanno as well as others.