Tuesday, August 23, 2005

SPARE THE ROD

The trouble bubbling away following the cancellation of a Rod Stewart gig in 2000 continues to make a mess of Rod's metaphorical stovetop. He's being sued in Las Vegas by Harrah, who want the money they'd paid him back. Not unreasonably, you might think.

Stewart had pulled the gig because he'd had thyroid cancer surgery; he says he held on to the money because he was still willing to do the gig at some point. Last November, a court in LA ordered Stewart to give back a similar bunch of cash he was sitting on from Latin America. Stewart's appealing against that one, too.


PULL OFF YOUR EARS

We're trying not to get out of proportion the news that Katie Melua is planning to suck all the emotion out of Just Like Heaven by the Cure for a Reese Witherspoon movie of the same name. We're just going to smash a few windows, burn a few cars, and so on. The soundtrack is also going to feature Kelis doing Brass In Pocket and Kay Hanley having a go at Iggy's Lust For Life.

Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken us?


WHERE IS BEATLES BAND FROM?

There's a worrying, clammy hand clenching at the chest of Liverpool cty council and tourist officials - as they drive from John Lennon Airport to the Beatles Story Exerience past the sign reminding people the the city is the Birthplace of the Beatles, they worry that the link between the city and the band might pass some people by.

We know, we know: it's a little like Stratford-upon-Avon authorities worrying that maybe people don't know that Shakespeare came from there.

Meanwhile, the Beatles weekend is about to get underway in the city, despite erm, the terrorist bombs in London. Actually, a bigger problem seems to have been the Met shooting a Brazilian and then lying about it - there have been quite a few cancellations from Brazil; but that's more disgust at the attempts to cover-up than fear.


MARK IT IN YOUR DIARIES

Radio One have just announced plans to make October 13th John Peel Day, an annual event commemorating the man with a string of gigs across the country.

Sheila, his wife, is involved in the planning:

"John would have been honoured and fairly amazed that the anniversary is being marked in such a way. He would appreciate that in years to come Peel Day will give new bands across the country the chance to be heard."

Andy Parfitt, the Radio 1 controller, said: "Peel Day is about celebrating John's legacy and his unrivalled passion for music. It'll be a day of gigs taking place up and down the country, something we feel will be a fitting tribute to John."


BPI ROLLS OVER SYLVIA PRICE

Sylvia Price, the woman who was threatened by the BPI because, they alleged, her daughter had been offering uploads of songs by the likes of Coldplay, has had to give in. Because she can't afford to cover the costs of the court case, she's offered a settlement of £2,500.

Obviously, she can't afford that, either - so she's going to be paying twenty quid a month to the BPI for the next decade. We wonder if they're going to send someone round to knock on the door once a month.

Still, its a brilliant earner for the BPI, isn't it? Send huge cash demands to people who can't afford to test their liability in court, and sit back and let the cash roll in as they're bounced into signing up to a loan-shark style monthly payment for the rest of their working lives. But remember: technically, kids, this isn't extortion.


YOU WOULDN'T WISH IT ON ANYONE

Back in April, you'll recall, there was the curious case of Michelle Heaton, who claimed she'd had her drink spiked with a date rape drug, because there was no way she could have been drunk as she'd only had a couple of drinks.

Now, it seems, the same thing has happened to fellow ITV Popstars contestant Javine:

“It was so frightening. One minute Javine was fine and having a laugh, and the next she had wiped out. It takes more than two glasses of wine for Javine to get merry, so we all knew something wasn’t right.

“We took her back to her flat, which is nearby, and put her to bed. She was really ill the next day and missed her rehearsal for ITV’s Disco Mania show.

“She couldn’t eat a thing all day, felt really woozy and said it was like being poisoned. At one point, Javine was being sick.


So you think your friend had been poisoned with an unknown substance, and you take her home and leave her in her bed?

If it is the case that Javine had her drink spiked, that's clearly horrific, and we hope that Javine and her team have reported the incident to the police. Because, of course, nobody would sink to claiming their drinks were spiked to explain away missing rehearsals. Would they?


MADONNA FLATTERED TO DECEIVE

You might have thought that Dolce & Gabbana (they're kind of like Mike Baldwin without the charm) were keen to work with Madonna because the old boot still has a profile that will get their slacks and blouses into the newspapers. But, of course, they can't actually say "we're keen to tailgate on her press coverage" and so they flatter with the verbal equivalent of air-kissing:

"She is two women in one: aggressiveness and sweetness," Gabbana remembers the first time he saw the singer wearing his clothes, in a photo in the Internation Herald Tribune: "She looked just like a Sicilian woman. I said, "Domenico, look! Madonna is wearing our clothes!" Soon afterwards, we met her, she was wearing a man's pinstripe. She is one of the most amazing people. from her I have learned so much: about women, about business, about humanity.""

Goodness! A woman wearing a man's suit? Whatever next, eh?


DEBBIE GIBSON "NOT PREGNANT WITH NIXON'S TWO-HEADED LOVE CHILD"

First Coogan denied it; now, from the depths of rehab, comes a statement from Courtney Love:

"Courtney Love wishes to make it clear that she denies recent stories suggesting she is pregnant or has had a relationship with Steve Coogan," said the statement released by Sanctuary Artist Management.

"She confirms that she and Steve are good friends and have met a few times in Los Angeles."


Well... that's a weekend knitting booties wasted, then.


Monday, August 22, 2005

HALF A STEP FORWARD

The new deal struck between Playlouder and Sony-BMG is being hailed as a new route to the future whereby people could fileshare, without being sued by the BPI. It's not quite as rosy for the consumers - or "us", as we're known - as it might seem at first glance.

For twenty six quid, you get your broadband deal and are allowed to download as much music from Sony BMG through the filesharing networks as you want. Just Sony so far, but Playlouder are convinced that the others will come on board shortly. You can see the attraction for Sony: they get a massive chunk of guaranteed cash, regardless of how many tracks get downloaded. But how is your average music fan meant to know if Sony-BMG own the rights to the track he's downloading? Are we supposed to check the individual, often tortuous, trail of copyright every single time we're going to download something?

And will Playlouder customers be given special treatment when it comes to BPI lawsuits? If they download a Mozzer track from his EMI years thinking HMV was a BMG label, will the BPI turn a blind eye as there would be a plausible defence for them if the case came to court?

And, more to the point: the BPI says that its targeting people who make their music available online - in other words, it's going after the uploaders. But if there are deals being cut whereby people can download legally, how can the record labels continue to prosecute anyone any more? People have every right to make digital copies of the music they own; they have every right to have peer to peer software on their PCs. If there are people on those networks who have paid for the legal right to download music - where exactly is the justice in suing anyone in the deal? Indeed, since Sony are taking a big slice of cash from people on the basis that they expect to be able to download the label's music from peer to peer networks, in what way is it in Sony's interests to remove the music from those networks by bringing punitive legal actions against uploaders? If the BPI is successful in forcing file sharers off the internet, nobody is going to be paying a cash premium to Playlouder and on to the labels in order to download that music in the first place, surely?

Unless they expect only people who are paying for the music through the Playlouder model to be uploading as well - but why would anyone want to buy music twice, once at the store, and then again through their ISP by paying for the upload?


IT MAKES A GLOOPY, STICKY MESS ON YOUR FACE, BOYS

A couple of years ago, Nivea had a TV commercial that was so poor we did wonder if there was some hidden motive at work - two blokes watching an advert for a Nivea product moaning about the model and the stupidness of the idea, before concluding they might go and try some. The agency was presumably thinking "we can show a couple of chaps have exactly the same concerns about the very idea of using cosmetics on their manly faces, but, hey, they're prepared to give it a shot." The trouble is, it had the air of two straight men watching gay porn, complaining about how awful and wrong it was, before sneaking off home to get out the Kleenex and have a sob and an auto-slap.

Nivea's advertising for blokes since then has got slightly better, and now they've signed up to be sponsors for Tim Lovejoy's new Virgin radio sports and music show. The funny thing, though, the combination of big-fish-in-small-pool of Sport AM TV guy, a sports show that plays music (or is it a music show that features sport?) and face product for blokes seems less like a marriage made in marketing heaven; more like an idea pulled out from boxes at random. Even Virgin's head of sponsorship finds it tricky to sound that enthused by the idea:

“We presented a highly customised package to Nivea For Men that was tailored to have most impact with our listeners.

“The combination of Virgin Radio, Tim Lovejoy and Nivea For Men oozes fun and passion for sport combined with great music.”


The second sentence, in particular, sounds like something you'd get as a runner-up in one of those "using your skill and judgement, complete the following sentence in ten words or less" competitions.


WE'VE JUST GOT THESE...

Some new tour dates from Mercury-smothered cuties Antony & The Johnsons:

November 2005
Tue 22 Wolverhampton, Civic Hall
Wed 23 York, Opera House
Fri 25 Dublin, Vicar Street
Wed 30 Glasgow, Academy

December 2005

Fri 02 Bristol, Academy
Sun 04 All Tomorrow's Parties
Mon 05 London, Shepherd's Bush Empire

They've been nominated for a Mercury Rev, you know.


WHAT MOTIVATES AVRIL LAVIGNE

We seem to recall Avril insisting that her music was all about art and emotion and what is real not so long ago. Not anymore. She's admitted what her motivation is - a cycle of flogging stuff:

"I want to be played on the radio. I want to have Top 40 hits," she said. "I want people to hear my music. I like it when people come to my show, and if they don't know my record, they know my songs, because they've been on the radio. I like that."

But what sort of art do you create if you produce not to add your voice to the world, or to bring your life into focus, but merely to ensure popularity with the computers in Clear Channel HQ? (Clue: listen to the latest Avril Lavigne album.) Yes, people will know your songs when you play them, but people know the Shake and Vac ad lyrics; popularity and creative value are not the same thing.


HOW MUCH DO THE LABELS CARE ABOUT THEIR ARTISTS?

First, the good news: Madeleine Peyroux has been found - the jazz singer had gone AWOL when she was meant to be promoting her current album. It turned out that she was actually staying with her own manager, in a bid to avoid her own record company and their plans for album promotion. And how have her label reacted?

Bill Holland of Universal Classics and Jazz have said the discovery was "much to our embarrassment" and then... well, you can feel the sympathy:

"She doesn't want to see anyone or do any promotion," he told BBC One's Breakfast, adding that he was "fed up" with her behaviour.

"She's gone off - that's what she does and she won't come back."


If you had that level of concern, support and care coming from your record label, wouldn't you want to go and hide from them, too?


WHAT GETS YOU OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

When you hear that Oasis have produced another album, it's natural to ask yourself 'why?' Now, Noel Gallagher has provided an answer - he's too dull to think of anything else to do:

There are periods where you think, "What am I doing?" or "What am I doing it for?"; that's a more scary question. "I've made s---loads of money, I've left my mark in music, why am I still doing this?," and it takes a while to answer that question. It comes back every time we're at the end of a tour and you have three or four months off and then you've got to get back on the saddle. More often than not, the answer that comes back from me is, "What else are you going to do?"

I struggle with this conundrum. It's not a very noble thing to carry on, it's not very dashing. But I often meet people who've been in great bands and you go, "What are you doing now?" and they say, "I'm not doing anything," and I think that's more sad.


Really, Noel? You think there's sadness in having the dignity to know it's not worth churning out any old tosh just because you've got nothing else to do with your time?

In the first episode of Coronation Street, Albert Tatlock memorably tells Ken Barlow when he goes down the library he wants to shout at the old geezers they need to get a hobby, otherwise they'll just wither and die. He might have more usefully told them to get some outside interests, otherwise they'll end up recording pubplods like Lyla.

Not that Noel's afraid of his place in musical history:

Razorlight, the Libertines, the Killers, the Strokes, Kings of Leon and Jet, all these bands are (citing) "Definitely Maybe" (the band's 1994 debut album).

We were the first people to come out and say, "The world's a great place, life is for living. Forget grunge music. Get a pint of Guinness down your neck, and pick that guitar up."


Sweet... when faced with "if you seek my legacy, look around", Noel sees Razorlight and The Strokes. Whereas, everyone else sees Athlete and Coldplay.

And we love the idea that Oasis were the original hedonists - they weren't even the original hedonist revivalists, coming so soon after the New Wave of New Wave bands.


ELECTROBIT

The death has been announced of Robert Moog, electronic music pioneer and father of the synth - and, therefore, creator of the 1980s.

The Moog was the original synthesizer, first demonstrated in 1964. Although some argue he was pipped to the post as the first by Donald Buchla's modular synthesizer, it was Moog's machine which was taken to people's hearts; it was a Moog that the Beatles plugged in when they were recording Because; it was a Moog which was used for the Clockwork Orange soundtrack. And Moog was set to become an even more familiar name on the music scene in 1971 when he introduced the MiniMoog Model D, a single, compact unit which went on to sell 13,000 in the next decade. By 1977, you couldn't move for Moog-sounds in the charts, from Donna Summer's I Feel Love through to Kraftwerk.

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Ironically, for someone seen as the enemy of "real" music, Moog's mother had wished her son would become a concert pianist - he would later credit her attempts to persuade him in this direction as the reason why he took to seeking solace in science. Moog's initial interest in electronic music had led him to create and sell a 'build it yourself' theremin kit while still at Cornell University; the USD13,000 the 19 year-old made off that product was to provide the seed capital with which he established his own company.

Having invented and popularised the synth, Moog sold his company to Norlin, a more traditional instrument company, and although he stayed on for a while, he was eventually forced out by company politics, watching from the sidelines as the company launched a couple of shitty products bearing his name but none of his design. As synths went digital in the latter half of the 70s, Moog again sat to one side. And while he's proud of what synths did for music (they "introduced a vast array of new timbres and textures to the available palette of musical sound", he said), he is quick to deny that he had any special role in their genesis, according to a Salon profile:

While some have credited Moog with helping to foment a "democratization of music," he will hear none of it. That societal shift came about thanks to "cheesy Casio and Yamaha keyboards that sold for $100 to $500" and were "small and portable and battery-powered, so you could take them to a party or to the beach," he says. "I see these devices as being on a branch of music technology that is completely separate from the analog synthesizers of the 1970s."

In 2002, Moog bought back the rights to the Moog name and launched a new version of the MiniMoog; he also created the "interactive piano" for Yamaha, an instrument which utilises electronic technology in the body of a piano with a traditional sound. At long last, his ambitions finally chimed with those of his mother.


MORE POLITICAL TROUBLE FOR THE STONES

With the Rolling Stones now desperately trying to back-pedal on their song Sweet Neo-con in the face of disapproval from Fox News, a second front in the political crisis for Jagger has opened up with the band's belated discovery that Angela Merkel is using 'Angie' as her campaign song in the German general election:

'We didn't grant permission,' said a spokesman for the band. 'We are surprised that permission was not requested. If it had been, we would have said no.'

Yes, god forbid anyone might think the Stones actually have an opinion. Curiously, though, permission actually does appear to have been granted - the Christian Democrats claim they approached Gema, who deal with music rights in Germany; Gema apparently didn't see a problem.

Meanwhile, a woman was injured at the first night of the Stones' world tour in Boston when she fell from the rafters at the Fenway Park venue. She'd been spotted dangling, but lost her grip before the fire brigade could rescue her.


X-SPATOR

I'd often wondered exactly who it was who watched the X-Factor, since anyone with a central nervous system surely finds it impossible to watch Sharon Osbourne for more than two or three minutes without trying to put their own eyes out with a pair of nail clippers. Yesterday, it all became clear, as having spent the morning playing at Darth Vader, the kids from the next street started to play at being Simon Cowell instead. No, really.

Meanwhile, the real thing is having a public spat with Steve Brookstein. Brookstein, who seems to be genuinely surprised that winning the programme last year that he hasn't ascended to heaven in a gilded Clairol Footspa. And, just as we imagine the suicide bombers feel when they discover that, actually, there aren't lots of virgins waiting for them, just a long drawn out future of being in pieces and very dead, Brookstein is keen to find someone else to blame for his disappointment. In Steve's view, it's all down to Simon Cowell, who "undermines artist's credibility" and the programme, which is "killing music."

Well, yes, Poindexter, but it's been running in one form or another for half a decade so why did you go on a programme like that? It's no good wailing "it's killing music and they're rude to the singers" when you'd have been at home watching the process since the start of the century.

Cowell, meanwhile, just returns the bitterness with some snide snark, saying that without the X-Factor, Brookstein would be a nobody. Which, again is true, although to be fair, even with the X-Factor, he's still a nobody.


COOGAN: NA-AAAH

Steve Coogan isn't going to be the father of drug-addled Courtney Love's baby, apparently. Or so says his spokesperson, who claims it's "ridiculous". It's not clear if the spokesperson is dismissing the whole thing as ridiculous - we found the claims of Steve's Studliness to be a little stretching of the credibility-skin ourselves - or if it's just the pregnancy.

Meanwhile, Coogan's family aren't entirely thrilled at the prospect of what this will mean for future gatherings at weddings and Christmas, having Love crashing about, knocking over tables and offering to fight the vicar. It has had the happy side-effect of leading to The Mock Turtles getting their first mention in the papers since their Vodaphone-sponsored Indian summer:

His brother Martin, lead singer with 90s band The Mock Turtles, said: "I had no idea." His parents Anthony and Kathleen, both lay preachers, are understood to be deeply concerned.

One source claimed: "They are a very religious family and are horrified Courtney Love is expecting their grandchild.

"Courtney and Steve hadn't been seeing each other very long at all and she has a terrible reputation.

"Let's face it, she's hardly daughter-in-law material, is she?"


To be fair, Steve isn't exactly pushing an unblemished record as far as being a fine catch himself, is he?


Sunday, August 21, 2005

THE MAGIC NUMBERS MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A NOTE

In their recent struggle to try and salvage a place in musical history beyond being "the fat band who stomped off Top of the Pops", The Magic Numbers insisted that being introduced as a fat melting pot of talent was akin to suggesting that Stevie Wonder would be ushered on as a "blinding talent." It gives us something to think about as we read the Arizona Daily Sun's headline on a piece about an upcoming artist:

Blind musician Raul Midon sees success

WELL, AT LEAST YOU WEREN'T STUCK AT HOME WATCHING THE BLOODY X FACTOR

Much unhappiness over at Ozzfest, where Bruce Dickinson and Sharon Osbourne seem to have had a rather huge falling out. Iron Maiden's show didn't run that smoothly last night in LA; now, there's some nifty mp3 footage of the various spat and counter spat. Enjoy - and remember, do shop at Asda.


TUNE IN, POD DOWN, WIG OUT

We're always happy to find a radio station that adds to the massive pile of stuff that's overwhelming us as we don't have time to listen to everything already and our head is going to explode, so welcome KEXP 90.3 FM, offering two weeks of streaming archive, a bunch of live performances from the likes of Maximo Park, Kinski and Sufjan Stevens, podcasts, and much more besides.

And we came to them through Face Without A View, a new indie mp3 blog type deal which is shaping up pretty well, too.

And, in turn, we came to that through Stairway To Heaven, an interactive music hide and seek type board. Dubious legal status ahoy, but worth a look.


THERE'S YOUR LASTING LEGACY FOR YOU

We're sure that Ray Charles would be delighted to know that he's now become a street name for heroin cut with clenbuterol. Nice to leave a lasting legacy, isn't it?

[EDIT: The original link on this story, to http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/news/wabc_081605_raycharlesDRUGS.html has decayed; it's been replaced with a link to a story about the same report on the New York Times website - 24/01/06]


PROMOTEROBIT: Jess Nicks

The death has been announced of Jess Nicks. Although perhaps best known these days as father of Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac, Nicks made a wider contribution to the development of pop culture in 1979 when he (more or less) single-handedly invented the ampitheatre as venue:

"He was a pioneer," said Valley concert promoter Danny Zelisko of Evening Star Productions.

"Compton Terrace was one of the first 'sheds.' When Jess opened it, there weren't many venues like it. No one thought to dig a hole in the ground and hold concerts outdoors. Now there are 50 or 60 across the country," Zelisko said.


In recent years, Nicks (and his daughter) had been working to raise funds for the Arizona Heart Foundation.

On her website, Stevie Nicks wrote the following about her dad:

"He was a force of nature. He waited until the Fleetwood Mac Tour was over - I asked him for that. He waited until this summer tour was over - I asked him for that. He couldn't leave us during a tour - he knew that. . . . He waited for me."


DEATH COMES TO THE VEGAN CAFE

The stabbing to death of someone outside the uber-snoot Moby-owned cafe Teany in Rivington Street, New York is, of course, a bit grim and nothing that Moby can be blamed for. We've tried to find a way to blame him, but we came up with nothing. However, what is worth preserving is the reaction of cafe manager Roger Peffley, who saw the man die:

"This is shocking," he said of the stabbing. "This neighborhood is so pretentious the last thing you would expect is somebody running down the street bleeding."

What will it mean for the property prices?


POP STAR'S DAUGHTER MURDERED

A spot of horrible news from Essex - Lisa Sullivan, the daughter of Lennie Peters, has been murdered in her Walton-on-the-Naze caravan. Peters had a number of hits in the early 60s and 70s with his partner Dianne Lee, including Welcome Home and Jet Plane, a career that received a boost from both the Krays (who took an interest in Peters) and Hughie Green (like everyone else famous in Britain during the Wilson years, Peters and Lee were invented on Opportunity Knocks).

A neighbour, Terry Game, has been charged with Lisa's murder. Lisa is survived by her mother, Sylivia; her three children and her estranged husband.


V OKAY

There's a surprising degree of excitement about the V festival turning ten years old this year - we guess it's not so much that nobody ever expected it to last that long as, really, nobody had really much noticed that it hadn't folded.

The Guardian's take on the decade mark was Pop festival once dismissed as spiritless becomes sell-out event - as if being soulless and empty has ever presented a problem selling stuff in a country where James Blunt has been number one for sixteen years. Although the existence of a major English festival that's not owned by Clear Channel is something we should celebrate, there's no avoiding the obvious fact that V has managed to carve out a niche because it's so innoffensive:

"It's become synonymous with mainstream rock and pop music lovers who perceive it as the most audience-friendly festival," said David Andrews, marketing director at Virgin Radio which, while no longer part of Richard Branson's stable, remains the key broadcasting partner for the event and makes its own marketing and PR mileage out of it.

Mmm. It gets even more exciting when David Kydd, from main sponsor Virgin Mobile, steps up to talk about the event:

"We've been very careful to only use our brand where it adds value. One year it ended up looking like Bluewater. You need to be clever about how you communicate."

The festival that adds value to a mobile telephone brand, eh? We're almost regretting our decision not to be part of that.

The NME is tied in with the event too, this year, and so it's giving rather excellent coverage over at NME.com: for example, the report on Oasis' set which focuses on the most interesting aspect - that Liam Gallagher saw a large, blow up penis and pretended he thought he was looking at Pete Doherty. Do you get it?

”It’s good to see Pete Doherty turned up,” he said, “one big cock.”

We can understand why the NME were more interested in this lame gag than the music itself - we caught the highlights on Channel 4 last night, and to say it was half-arsed would lay us open to letters of complaint from the monobuttocked of the UK. Wisely, the band avoided doing too much of the new stuff, and stuck for the most part to the bits from when they popular beyond their core fanbase:

* ’Fuckin’ In The Bushes’ (intro)
* ’Turn Up The Sun’
* ’Lyla’
* ’Bring It On Down’
* ’Morning Glory’
* ’Cigarettes And Alcohol’
* ’The Importance Of Being Idle’
* ’A Bell Will Ring’
* ’Live Forever’
* ’The Meaning Of Soul’
* ’Mucky Fingers’
* ’Champagne Supernova’
* ’Rock ‘N’ Roll Star’
And then they did an encore:
* ’Wonderwall’
* ’Don’t Look Back In Anger’
* ’My Generation’

- but the effect was more of a karaoke set than a rabble-rousing festival highlight stomp. The only people throwing themselves into things with any gusto were the crowd, who bellowed along with glee and enthusiasm while the band did the bare minimum to ensure they got their share of the cash.

Actually, viewed on E4 and Channel 4, V does look like it owes less to Virgin Radio, and more to the Century Radio stable's hairbrush diva low-concept. Maroon 5 doing that tick tick tock song? It's the crowd doing all the singing. In fact, next year V could save themselves loads of money by dispensing with the lead singers services altogether, and just go for the full karaoke effect. We don't think the people in the field would mind; it's possible they might not even notice.

The other thing that marks out this festival is the number of "unlikely" surprise guest appearances: Magic Numbers squeezing onstage with the Chemical Brothers; Goldie Lookin' Chain hooking up with Super Furry Animals; the rumour that Scissor Sisters and Franz Ferdinand would work together (although last night that didn't happen) and, erm, The Kaiser Chiefs getting reunited with the Kaisersaurus.

And top marks to Mr. Red Penguin - astonishingly quick off the mark with the Magic Numbers downloads from the festival.


BAND ROBBED AT GUNPOINT

Cadillac were probably looking forward to a few quiet days in London, what with coming from Norway where it's a good day if one of your band doesn't get eaten by a death metaller before teatime. Turns out, though, the band weren't in for the restful minitour they were expecting, as shorly after they played the Brixton Windmill they got held up at gunpoint and had their takings stolen.

Obviously, the gunman didn't really know much about indierock, as you don't really need to go to that much effort to pinch the takings from a gig at the Windmill; nobody's going to put much of fight to keep that sort of take. In this instance, it was just about twenty-five quid.


THIS WEEK, WE PLUGGED...



Lee Perry, playing live in Brighton, and on your DVD



The Rakes - like 22 Grand Job, it's alright



Supergrass acting their ages at last?


THERE'S CRUELTY AND THEN THERE'S CRUELTY

Lisa Moorish - the mother of Pete Doherty's and one of Liam's kids, and recent recipient of a bizzare cartoon apology from Channel 4 and NME as a result of something somone said during the NME awards show - has been accused of leaving her kids in a car on a hot day. It's the Sunday Mirror, though, which has the truly horrific detail: apparently, it was as hot inside the car as it would have been in high summer on the planet Mercury:



Eight Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit. Blimey - you'd think she'd at least have invested in some of those Winnie The Pooh window shades or something.


IT'S A MIGHTY LONG WAY DOWN ROCK AND ROLL FROM KURT COBAIN TO ALAN PARTRIDGE

If the News of the World is to be believed, not only is Courtney Love in rehab, about to head back to jail and looking at dropping the threads of her life all over, but she's up the duff with Steve Coogan's kid. Courtney, of course, isn't doing interviews, but the paper has helpfully found "a pal" willing to provide background detail:

Courtney told her friend: "It was literally non-stop sex. Steve is a fucking sex addict [is there a non-fucking kind of sex?] and has a major substance problem. He even asked me to get ten Viagra pills for him so that he could keep going, despite the fact he was past the point of exhaustion. When I was with Steve, I did things that I shouldn't have done. I passed the line of what even I think is normal."

... too much background information:

"She told him she was too old for that. But Courtney told me, ‘That's his thing. 'He got a whole load of paraphernalia from the Hustler store up the road from their hotel. She also told me Steve talked her into doing something unsafe and said, ‘If he's given me anything, I swear to God, I'm going to cut his dick off!'"

We're not sure if she was including a bonny bouncing baby in that, but by the sounds of it, it might be a good idea to chop it off anyway.

What's really worrying Courtney, of course, is that Steve's not very rock and roll (despite, or perhaps because of, having played Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People:

"Tell me honestly...what does it make me look like that I slept with Alan Partridge? Given the grade A stars I've dated it's embarrassing. I mean...Alan Partridge!"

Come off it, love - you dated Billy Corgan; it's hardly like you're a by-word for taste in men.