No Rock And Roll Fun

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The people who protect our safety

Perhaps the most worrying thing about the accusations that a fan has hacked into Chester Bennington's financial details (and even sniffed his PayPal details) is that Devon Townsend supposedly violated Linkin Park's privacy while at work.

She works for the US Department of Energy, at Sandia National Laboratories. The place which, in its own words, has a primary mission [...] ensuring the U.S. nuclear arsenal is safe, secure, reliable, and can fully support our Nation's deterrence policy. We employ only the most advanced and failsafe technologies to fulfill our responsibilities as stewards of the nuclear stockpile.

Great to hear that's such a simple job the staff have got time to kill trying to find out where Chester Bennington buys his knickers.

Does one N make a difference?

Having been banned from doing so once, Lora Ivanova is trying again to persuade a Bulgarian court to allow her to change her name to Madona. She insists that there'd be no confusion between her and the mock-cockney childcatcher, as she's only going to have one N in her name. Also, of course, she's barely known on the banks of the Danube never mind further afield.

The state is reluctant to give her her wish, but not because it's worried people might turn up to her gigs expecting to hear some old Abba tunes and see a misguided leotard. Apparently, they just haven't been convinced there's any need for the name change:

The lawyer appointed by the municipality said that Ivanova was missing substantial reasons need to change one's name as required by law, and urged the court to deny the claim. The court has a month to decide on the matter.

music madonna lora ivanova

RIAA thinks we'd be better off without the web

At times, watching the big music industry cartel squawking and squealing over the years since the first indication that Napster might be a problem of some sort, it's seemed that the RIAA might be happier if the internet had never been invented. How they must wish they could just get the bloody thing switched off, and we could all go back to using CDs and local record stores.

They're working hard to achieve that dream, reckons Ray Beckerman. Beckerman is a lawyer representing Barker in Electro vs. Barker, and he suggests that if the RIAA-backed Electro wins, the logical conclusion would be the unplugging of all DNS servers:

This is a nursing student who was sued in her name. We made a motion to dismiss the complaint because doesn't specify any acts or dates or times of copyright infringement as the law normally requires. We've made several arguments like that before this motion and the RIAA put in an argument which basically fudged it. However, in this case they basically decided to go for the gold and they made a bold argument claiming that merely making files available on the internet is in and of itself a copyright infringement. It was a shocking argument because if it were accepted it would probably shut down the entire internet.

Beckerman also has much to say about how the judges hearing a lot of these cases lack the basic technical understanding to follow some of the arguments - and a more disturbing reluctance to allow themselves to be educated.

They could, of course, try and mug up on the details with Google. Unless, of course, the RIAA manage to get the whole thing shut down.

[Thanks to David Scott for the link]

music riaa

Something to listen to

All these three will evaporate following their completion of seven days on the listen again, as alt rock seizes Radio 4's holiest citadels:

Jarvis Cocker appears on Loose Ends
Patti Smith on Start The Week
Courtney Love on Women's Hour

music jarvis cocker patti smith courtney love

Liam and Gary sitting in a tree, h-u-g-g-i-n-g

They were from different worlds, different lives.

He was a shambling, muttering ball of anger and confusion, forever getting into fights and shouting his mouth off. He was rock.

The other he was a choreographed cherub, trilling love songs and keeping an eye on the gay fans. He was pop.

But when they came together, Gary Barlow and Liam Gallagher made beautiful music, although (thank god) not literal music, says Gary:

“Liam is a top bloke and he’s not as big a hardman as people think.

“Whenever I see him he gives me a hug and we have a nice chat. We get on well.

“I know we’ve got completely different styles of music and all that but he’s a nice guy.”

Ah, isn't that sweet?

music liam gallagher gary barlow oasis take that

Charged all the people a dollar and a half just to see 'em

We're in two minds about the proposed Abba Museum in Stockholm - obviously, the largest collection of gold lame jumpsuits in private hands needs a home, but we're given to understand that the idea came to the organisers after they visited The Beatles Story Experience at Albert Dock, Liverpool. Which suggests that the whole thing might take itself a little too seriously.

A soulless hole dedicated to celebrating Abba's music without much understanding about what made it magical? It's Hung Up by Madonna, isn't it?

music abba

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Eagles gunned down

More turbulent times on the Guns N Roses tour. No sooner had Eagles of Death Metal taken the stage to replace Papa Roach than the G'n'R fans started to boo. They booed, and booed and booed - presumably Axl fans like their rubbish metal to at least not be aware that it's rubbish - and Axl heard their pain.

Rose redubbed the band Pigeons of Shit Metal and kicked 'em off:

"Don't worry, that's the last show they're playing with us."

Eagles of Death Metal had time to come up with something more considered:

"At first the audience refused to welcome us to the jungle, but by the time we took our final bow, it had become paradise city. Although Axl tried to November rain on our parade, no sweet child o' mine can derail the EODM night train. We say live and let die."

Do you see what they did there?

music eagles of death metal axl rose guns n roses

At long last, Michael Jackson is learning from his mistakes

Sure, he'll still turn up at ridiculously expensive events - like the £2,000 Japanese Premium Christmas Party - but he's gotten wise:

He won't promise to sing for his supper.

Stick to what you're good at, Mickey. Let people have a look, but leave the music to other people.

music michael jackson

2006Music: Other people's choices

A collection of the best best-of lists and reviews. Yes, they've started posting them already.

Special mentions and thanks to Largehearted Boy and DJ Martian and their respective collections of links to more of this sort of thing.

Altrok radio's most-played artists of 2006:
Graham Coxon
The Futureheads
The Long Blondes
The Pigeon Detectives

Amazon.com editors' picks of the best albums:
1. Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
2. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
3. The Crane Wife - The Decemberists
4. Eye To The Telescope - KT Tunstall
5. Saint Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley

Architecture in Helsinki's album of the year, according to Filter:
Arthur Russell - First Thought Best Thought

Arctic Monkey's single of the year, according to 6Music:
Fedde Le Grand – Put Your Hands Up For Detroit

Ricardo Baca, Denver Post pop critic's CDs that "defined" 2006:
1. Silversun Pickups - Carnavas
2. The Grates - Gravity Won't Get You High
3. Thom Yorke - The Eraser
4. Van Morrison - Pay The Devil
5. Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped

ContactMusic reviews the year with, erm, Castaldo-like insight: It's been another busy year in the music world. Songs have topped charts, albums have flown off shelves and musicians have kept up the grand old tradition of rock and roll by marrying, divorcing and getting arrested.

Corinne Bailey Rae's album of the year, according to Filter:
Editors - The Back Room
(We know, Summer 2005...)

Douglas Baptie reviews the year for CD Times: Ironically, it was also the year Sleater-Kinney decided to go on "hiatus" (read: split up) but 2006 was arguably the year that women finally broke through and were simply allowed to be, whether they were established acts like The Gossip or Yeah Yeah Yeahs, or newer faces like CSS, The Long Blondes, Be Your Own Pet, Blood Red Shoes, Tilly & The Wall, Lilly Allen, The Pipettes, You Say Party! We Say Die!, Metric - all just doing their own thing, but not being heckled or groped or having their attractiveness discussed in the music press.

Basement Galaxy is performing a slow reveal, but has already listed a top 10 ineligible albums list:
1. Pavement - Wowee Zowee: Sordid Sentinels Edition
2. Iron Maiden - Death on the Road DVD
3. Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend (Legacy Edition)
4. The Casettes - Neath The Pale Moon
5. Shooting At Unarmed Men - Yes, Tinnitus

Battle's single of the year, according to 6Music:
Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks

BBC Collective albums of the year, in no particular order:
The Young Knives - Voices of Animals And Men
Joan As Policewoman - Real Life
Joanna Newsom - Ys
The Knife - Silent Shout
Hot Chip - The Warning
Burial - Burial
Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am...
Cat Power - The Greatest
The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
Ghostface Killah - Fishscale

Ben from Girlpants albums of the year:
1. Helios - Eingya
2. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
3. Junior Boys - So This Is Goodbye
4. Burial - Burial
5. Tunng - Comments of the Inner Chorus

Best selling UK albums of 2006:
1. Eyes Open - Snow Patrol
2. Beautiful World - Take That
3. Ta-Dah - Scissor Sisters
4. Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys
5. Inside In / Inside Out - Kooks

... and the best selling singles:
1. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
2. A Moment Like This - Leona Lewis
3. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira Ft Wyclef Jean
4. I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters
5. I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker - Sandi Thom

Best selling albums, worldwide, with sales figures according to Mediatraffic (and an estimate at the total including markets not measured by Mediatraffic):
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium 5.693.000 (6.119.975)
2. High School Musical - High School Musical Soundtrack 5.397.000 (5.801.775)
3. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex / LoveSounds 4.348.000 (4.674.100)
4. Rascal Flatts - Me And My Gang 3.623.000 (3.894.725)
5. Pink - I'm Not Dead 3.419.000 (3.675.425)
6. Nelly Furtado - Loose 3.371.000 (3.623.825)
7. Beyonce - B'Day 3.238.000 (3.480.850)
8. The Beatles - Love 3.152.000 (3.388.400)
9. Evanescence - The Open Door 3.112.000 (3.345.400)
10. Andrea Bocelli - Amore 3.052.000 (3.280.900)

Between Thought And Expression provides an MP3 and videoed guide to the 69 favourite songs of the year:
1. Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins - Rise Up With Fists
2. Devics - Distant Radio
3. Grizzly Bear - Knife
4. Lily Allen - LDN
5. Basement Jaxx - Take Me Back To Your House

Blender's top albums:
1. My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade
2. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
3. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
4. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex / LoveSounds
5. Ghostface Killah - Fishscale

Bob Butler, who manages the warehouse for Southern Distribution chose, amongst his favourite things to listen to, The Mike Sammes Singer's Music For Biscuits and Danny Baker's Radio London programme. We suspect these two might be related.

Isobel Campbell's album of the year, according to Filter:
Bob Dylan - Modern Times

Chatanooga Pulse chooses the best local albums:
1. The Unsatisfied - The Way to the Crumbs
2. Infradig - Clinical Indifference / The Psychology of Breathing double ep package
3. Some Have Guns - Something Happened
4. Lou Wamp and Swing Shift - Wizards of Swing
5. Jennifer Daniels - A Thrill of Hope

Chromewaves: Rankings like that are inherently meaningless (as the uproar whenever someone publishes any sort of list that makes claims of definitiveness will attest) so instead, I've chosen to list off the ten records that meant the most to me in 2006 - the ones that soundtracked my life, so to speak. The post is a thing of beauty, lavishly illustrated with pics and links and mp3s, and highly recommended.
Eric Bachmann - To The Races
Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood
Cat Power - The Greatest
The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
Early Day Miners - Offshore
The Hold Steady - Boys And Girls In America
Land Of Talk - Applause Cheer Boo Hiss
The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
Shearwater - Palo Santo
Margot & The Nuclear So And So's - The Dust Of Retreat

Billboard's Classical best US sellers year-end charts:
Classic album: Sting - Songs From The Labyrinth
Classic artist: Sting
Classic crossover album: Andrea Bocelli - Amore
Classic crossover artist: Andrea Bocelli

Bloggedy Blog picks albums of the year:
1. Tapes 'n Tapes - The Loon
2. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
3. Cat Power - The Greatest
4. Asobi Seksu - Citrus
5. The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America

Bootie USA has pulled together a CD of their favourite mash-ups of the year, including Party Ben's Hung Up On Soul (Death Cab For Cutie vs. Madonna) and Go Home Productions' Don't Hold Back, Sweet Jane (Chemical Brothers vs. Velvet Underground vs. U2 vs. Sugababes vs. MARRS)

CBC Radio 3 select 94 best tracks of 2006:
1. Joel Plaskett Emergency - Nowhere with you
2. Malajube - Montreal -40c
3. Islands - Rough Gem
4. Cadence Weapon - Oliver Square
5. The Hidden Cameras - Awoo

Gideon Coe's single of the year:
Joan as Policewoman - The Ride

Andrew Collins, 6Music presenter and 'Not Going Out' scriptwriter track of the year:
Jamie T - Sheila

Daily Mirror's remaining 3AM Girls award their "3a Emmies":
Pop group: Sugababes
Legend: Elton John
Album: Christina Aguilera - Back To Basics
Tour: Take That
Businesswoman: Victoria Beckham
Band: The Kooks
Single: Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous Girl

The Daily Record's Razz column's albums of the year:
1. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am...
2. Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
3. The Feeling - Twelve Stops And Home
4. The Fratellis - Costello Music
5. Morrissey - Ringleader Of The Tormentors

Users at eMusic choose their albums of the year:
1. Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood
2. The Hold Steady - Boys And Girls In America
3. Belle And Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
4. Cat Power - The Greatest
5. Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass

Glide Magazine has 20 from 2006, in no especial order:
Built to Spill - You In Reverse
JJ Cale & Eric Clapton - The Road To Escondido
Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
Cat Power - The Greatest
Elvis Costello & Allan Toussaint - The River in Reverse
Decemberists - The Crane Wife
Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies
Earl Greyhound - Soft Targets
The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America
Midlake - The Trials of Van Occupanther
Muse - Black Holes and Revelations
Joanna Newsom – Ys
The Roots - Game Theory
Silversun Pickups - Carnavas
The Slip - Eisenhower
TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
Viva Voce - Get Yr Blood Sucked Out
Wolfmother - Wolfmother
Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass

Andrew Parker at The Gong Show took 180 of these sorts of lists, and compiled a best of the best albums:
1. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain (Number one on 14 lists)
2. The Knife - Silent Shout (8)
3. The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America (7)
4. Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury (6)
5. Bob Dylan - Modern Times (5)

Guardian Music Blog top albums, as voted by music writers on The Guardian and The Observer:
1. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am...
2. Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
3. Hot Chip - The Warning
4. Lily Allen - Alright, Still
5. Ghostface Killah - Fishface

Blogcritic's assistant music editor A L Harper submitted her own list of best albums:
1. Snow Patrol - Eyes Open
2. The Working Title - About Face
3. Pink - I'm Not Dead
4. Green River Ordinance - The Beauty Of Letting Go
5. Placebo - Meds

Kenny Herzog, editor of CMJ's albums of the year:
1. The Goodnight Loving - Cemetery Trails
2. Various Artists - Confuzed Disco
3. Ghostface - Fishscale
4. Mew - And The Glass Handed Kites
5. Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury

... and his favourite singles
1. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack
2. Rick Ross - Hustlin’
3. E-40 - Tell Me When To Go
4. Girl Talk - Smash Your Head
5. In Flames - Take This Life

Idolator munches through pages and pages of HTML to sum up the year:
Best artist: Gnarls Barkley
Album of the year: TV on the Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
Top track: Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Top reissue: Pavement - Wowee Zowee: Sordid Sentinels Edition
Enthusiasm (Total votes/voters selecting album) ratio: Burial - Burial
Under 30's album: Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury
Bloggers' album: Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury
Newspaper writers' album: Bob Dylan - Modern Times
African/Caribbean voters' album: Ghostface Killah - Fishscale
Caucasian voters' album: TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
Other race voters' album: Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury
Midwest album: The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America
New York album: Ghostface Killah - Fishscale

I Love Everything users gather to suggest albums overlooked by other lists: The new Bleach album. Title is long and the English translation doesn't make a whole lot of sense...something to do with the head nodding from side to side and chewing the meat

Indielaundry mp3-powers their albums of the year:
1. The Whitest Boy Alive - Dreams
2. Hot Chip - The Warning
3. Midlake - The trials of Van Occupanther
4. Tom Waits - Orphans
5. Bob Dylan - Modern Times

Jeroen of MusicMania picked a favourite album:
Sylvester Anfang - Satanische Vrede

Keisha Jenkins of Donewaiting.com's favourite album:
The Decemberists - The Crane Wife

The Jpopmusic forum discuss best singles: I vote "Nanairo no Ashita~brand new beat~/Your Color". I think its one of her best singles since "Double" and "Be The One".

Kerrang's albums of the year:
1. Taking Back Sunday - Louder Now
2. Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
3. The Bronx - The Bronx
4. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
5. Mastodon - Blood Mountain

Largehearted Boy selects the albums of the year in some form of alphabetical ordering:
Asobi Seksu - Citrus
Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out of This Country
Casey Dienel - Wind-Up Canary
Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies
Grizzly Bear - Yellow House
Joanna Newsom - Ys
Josh Ritter - The Animal Years
The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
Serena-Maneesh - Serena-Maneesh
Shearwater - Palo Santo

Last FM has a "best album 2006" tag, although it's not been assigned to anything since October at time of writing.

Lee, co-owner of Netherlands store Patta, according to Slam X Hype:
Band/music of the year: Peter Bjorn and John
The Long Blondes
Clipse
Nas
Concert: Be Your Own Pet (Lowlands)
EPMD Amsterdam

Douglas Lyttle at Bloomberg reviews the year: Most Unwelcome Trend: Singers cranking out "tribute" records to long-dead artists, or worse, going whole hog and covering batches of songs from entire eras. Notable offenders this year include Michael Bolton ("Bolton Swings Sinatra'') and Rod Stewart ("Still the Same ... Great Rock Classics of Our Time.") Ol' Rooster Head has now hit a second wind by working his way through most of the eras, starting somewhere around Pearl Harbor and ending in Woodstock. What's next? "Stewart Sings Streisand"?

Matador Records are celebrating their year with the Matador Player, featuring a couple of tracks from their big-hitters of the year, including Pretty Girls Make Graves, Matmos, Brightblack Morning Light and Yo La Tengo. [Link probably going to decay at some point]

Mediatraffic's best-selling in week of release worldwide albums
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium 1,108,000
2. Kumi Koda - BEST (second session) 983,000
3. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex / LoveSounds 932,000
4. Evanescence - The Open Door 775,000
5. Tool - 10,000 Days 756,000
6. Beyonce - B'Day 736,000
7. Rascal Flatts - Me And My Gang 733,000
8. The Beatles - Love 721,000
9. The Killers - Sam's Town 706,000
10. Ayumi Hamasaki - Secret 696,280

Metacritic scientifically feedback the best-reviewed albums of the year:
1. Ali Farka Toure - Savane 94 points out of a possible 100
2. Tom Waits - Orphans Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards 91
3. Clipse -Hell Hath No Fury 90
4. Bob Dylan - Modern Times 89
5. Joanna Newsom - Ys 89
6. TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain 89
7. Ghostface Killah - Fishscale 88
8. Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies 87
9. The Hold Steady - Boys And Girls In America 87
10. Los Lobos - The Town And The City 87

Amongst Metric's favourite albums of the year, according to Filter are:
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped

Mixtape Monday from MTV.com picks its six artists "that had it poppin' so hard that the streets and the mainstream had to pay attention":
Lil Wayne
The Game
TI
DJ Drama
Mick Boogie
DJ Green Lantern

Mojo magazine's year-end selection of albums:
1. The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers
2. Bob Dylan - Modern Times by
3. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
4. Bruce Springsteen - We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions
5. Archie Bronson Outfit - Derdang Derdang

More Cowbell's top albums:
1. M. Ward - Post-War
2. Midlake - The Trials of Van Occupanther
3. The Brother Kite - Waiting For The Time To Be Right
4. TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
5. The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls In America

Mr Red Penguin's Top 100 singles of 2006:
1. Art Brut - Nag Nag Nag Nag
2. Metric - Poster Of A Girl
3. Young Knives - Weekends and Bleak Days (Hot Summer)
4. New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream
5. Long Blondes - Weekend Without Makeup

MTV UK collects some of the notable popstar quotes of the year:
“Don’t hate me cos I’m a superstar and I’m married to a superstar” - Er, okay, Kevin Federline.

Music For Kids Who Can't Read Good offer best albums:
1. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
2. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
3. Band of Horses - Everything All The Time
4. Mates of State - Bring It Back
5. Beirut - Gulag Orkestrar

Craig Ness of Donewaiting.com's track of the year:
Beirut - Postcards From Italy

NME's albums of the year:
1. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not
2. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
3. Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
4. Hot Chip - The Warning
5. CSS - Cansei De Ser Sexi

NME's tracks of the year:
1. Hot Chip - Over And Over
2. Peter, Bjorn and John - Young Folks
3. The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
4. Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
5. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

Chicago's North West Herald singles of the year, in no particular order:
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor
Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push
Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous
Justin Timberlake - SexyBack
TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
Dixie Chicks - Not Ready to Make Nice
Belle and Sebastian - The Blues are Still Blue
Beyoncé - Irreplaceable
Prince - Black Sweat
AFI - Miss Murder

Listeners to NPR voted for their CDs of 2006:
1. The Decemberists: The Crane Wife
2. Neko Case: Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
3. Bob Dylan: Modern Times
4. M. Ward: Post War
5. TV On the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain

Obscure Sound mp3-enabled albums of the year:
1. Xiu Xiu - The Air Force
2. The Divine Comedy - Victory For The Comic Muse
3. The Veils - Nux Vomica
4. Sunset Rubdown - Shut Up, I Am Dreaming
5. Scott Walker - The Drift

Off The Record contributors choose their favourite albums:
Grace: M Ward - Post-War
James: Sarah Blasko - What The Sea Wants The Sea Will Have
Sandra: Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out Of This Country

The Onion AV Club writers struggle to produce a best music of 2006 listing: We used a weighted voting system—meaning passion proved nearly as important as widespread popularity—and tallied the votes using a highly scientific combination of computer spreadsheets, solar calculators, and an abacus, in a scientific formulation designed to ensure that only the finest albums would make the list.
1. The Hold Steady - Boys And Girls In America
2. TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
3. Midlake - The Trials Of Van Occupanther
4. Jenny Lewis With The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat
5. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit

And, from the Onion AV Club's essential guide to the Least Essential Albums of the 2006, including:
LEAST ESSENTIAL "REUNION" The New Cars, It's Alive
LEAST ESSENTIAL MUSIC TIE-IN TO AN INESSENTIAL TV SHOW Various artists, The Biggest Loser: Music Featured In And Inspired By The NBC Series
LEAST ESSENTIAL RACHAEL RAY BRANDING VENTURE (MUSIC DIVISION) Various artists, Rachael Ray: Too Cool For School Mixtape For Kids
LEAST ESSENTIAL GHOULISH LIVE ALBUM: Blind Melon, Live At The Palace
LEAST ESSENTIAL SEQUEL TO A TOTALLY FORGOTTEN RINGTONE-BASED AMPHIBIOUS ARTIST: Crazy Frog Presents More Crazy Hits
LEAST ESSENTIAL ALBUM OF 2006 (THE YEAR OF THE FISH IN THE BARREL): Kevin Federline, Playing With Fire

Picadilly Records of Manchester staff albums of the year:
1. Vetiver - To Find Me Gone
2. Midlake - The Trials Of Van Occupanther
3. Cat Power - The Greatest
4. Nicole Willis & The Soul Investigators - Keep Reachin' Up
5. CSS - Cansei De Ser Sexy

Picadilly Compilations of the year: "The "Rip It Up & Start Again", "North By Northwest", CD86, John Peel and Hacienda compilations had us older Piccadilly people happily tripping down memory lane regaling 80s obsessive Brad with tales of post-punk life. All in all it was another great year for compilations."

Picadilly reissues of the year: After an inclusion of one track on Gilles Peterson's "Digs America" compilation had tipped us off to his greatness, Darondo's "Let My People Go" became a firm favourite on the shop stereo at the beginning of the year. Also totally new to us was the Fern Jones "Glory Road" collection which put a smile on our faces and spring in our step on those busy Saturday afternoons, and Las Malas Amistades early work release which filled our heads with weirdness.

Pitchfork files its top videos of the year, including the sub When The Whistle Blows that was Keith Allen's daughter's Smile and, inevitably, the OK Go one with them on the treadmills. Admittedly, that was more inspired than anything they've done musically.

Pollstar track the largest US tours of the year:
Rolling Stones lead in sales value at $138.5 million
Kenny Chesney sold the most tickets, 1.13 million

PopMatters best 'world' music:
1. Ali Farka Touré - Savane
2. Lee 'Scratch' Perry - Panic in Babylon
3. Anouar Brahem - Le Voyage de Sahar
4. Värttinä - Miero
5. Kékélé - Kinavana

Q Magazine file the sort of best albums list that you'd expect from Q:
1. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am...
2. Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
3. Razorlight - Razorlight
4. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
5. The Killers - Sam's Town

Q's best reissue is The Clash - The Singles

Rebecca Raber, associate editor at CMJ, with a list of her favourite albums:
1. Girl Talk - Night Ripper
2. The Thermals - The Body, The Blood, The Machine
3. The Hold Steady - Boys And Girls In America
4. Islands- Return To The Sea
5. Sunset Rubdown - Shut Up I Am Dreaming

Raven Sings The Blues offers an MP3ed best-of, in no particular order:
Vetiver - To Find Me Gone
Beach House - Beach House
Shearwater - Palo Santo
Wooden Wand & The Skyhigh Band - Second Attention
The Skygreen Leopards - Disciples Of California
Woods - How to Survive in/ In The Woods
Flying Canyon - Flying Canyon
Horse Feathers - Words Are Dead
Kahoots - Fourteen Ghost
Benoit Pioulard - Precis
Nina Nastasia - On Leaving
Howlin' Rain - Howlin' Rain
King Tuff - Mindblow
The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
Tim Hecker - Harmony in Ultra Violet
Sinoia Caves - The Enchanter Persuaded
The Black Angels - Passover
Band of Horses - Everything All The Time
Indian Jewelry - Invasive Exotics
M. Ward - Post War

Reverend Moose, content editor at CMJ, picks albums of the year:
1. The Knife - Silent Shout
2. Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
3. VAUX - Beyond Virtue, Beyond Vice
4. Dead Heart Bloom - Dead Heart Bloom
5. Against Me! - Americans Abroad!!! Against Me!!! Live In London!!!

Revolver Magazine chooses best albums:
1. Lamb of God - Sacrament
2. Mastodon - Blood Mountain
3. Deftones - Saturday Night Wrist
4. GOJIRA - From Mars To Sirius
5. Converge - No Heroes

Marc Riley's single of the year:
Das Wanderlust - Orange Shop

Tom Robinson's single of the year:
Camille - Ta douleur

Rocksound magazine delivers a top 75 via its MySpace blog:
1. The Bronx - The Bronx
2. Converge - No Heroes
3. Isis - In The Absence Of Truth
4. Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
5. Kylesa - Time Will Fuse Its Worth

Rolling Stone's Top 50 albums of the year:
1. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
3. Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped
4. TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
5. Ghostface Killah - Fishcake

... and Rolling Stone's 100 tracks of the year:
1. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
2. The Raconteurs - Steady As She Goes
3. Chamillionaire - Ridin'
4. TI - What You Know
5. The Pack - Vans

Ron of MusicMania picked a favourite album:
TV On The Radio – Return To Cookie Mountain

Rough Trade Shop top 100 albums:
1. Beirut - Gulang Orkestar
2. The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
3. CSS - Cansei De Ser Sexy
4. Lily Allen - Alright, Still
5. Brakes - The Beatific Visions

Rough Trade Shop best reissue:
The Triffids - Born Sandy Devotional

Rough Trade Shop's favourite compilation:
Jarvis Cocker & Steve Mackey/Various - The Trip

Seattle Gay Blog gathers top albums...
1 Fox Confessor Brings the Flood - Neko Case
2 With Love and Squalor - We Are Scientists
3 Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys
4 Carnavas - Silversun Pickups
5 Wolfmother - Wolfmother

... and the Seattle Gay Blog's best singles:
1 Well Thought Out Twinkles - Silversun Pickups
2 Hold On, Hold On - Neko Case
3 Analyse - Thom Yorke
4 My Love - Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.
5 Woman - Wolfmother

Skatterbrain tracks of the year:
1. Pants Yell - Our Turf
2. The Most Serene Republic - You're Not An Astronaut
3. The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
4. Belle and Sebastian - Sukie In The Graveyard
5. The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health

Status No Object from the Village Voice picks the New York gigs of the year:
1. Jay-Z at Radio City Music Hall, 26/6/06
2. Sleater-Kinney at Webster Hall, 2/8/06
3. TI at the Apollo Theatre, 1/6/06
4. Cat Power at Town Hall, 10/6/06
5. Boredoms at Webster Hall, 2/7/06

Stylus Magazine's best singles collated by JBones, based on the rating given by the magazine averaged from a number of reviews. Maximum possible score is ten:
1. Nelly Furtado - Maneater (9.0)
= Marit Larsen - Don’t Save Me (9.0)
3. The Pipettes - Pull Shapes (8.7)
4. Justin Timberlake - My Love (8.6)
= Bertine Zetlitz - Midnight (8.6)

Slim Devices have started to debate albums of the year on their talkboards. Bosonova808 takes advantage of the time difference: dEUS - Pocket Revolution (will be a 2006 album in the States but has been out for a few months in Europe) - good. Not quite as amazing as The Ideal Crash which still totally floats my boat, but Tom Barman remains seriously cool.

Suite 101 have picked the best Christian rock albums of the year:
1. Derek Webb - Mockingbird
2. Johnny Lang - Turn Around
3. Delirious? - Mission Bell
4. Leeland - Sound of Melodies
5. Phil Joel - The deliberatePeople album

The Sun's Bizarre column invited its readers to vote for their favourites. Madonna is so desperate for decentpress she even turned up to be presented with her prizes:
BEST MALE: Justin Timberlake
BEST FEMALE: Madonna
BEST NEWCOMER: Lily Allen
BEST BAND: Oasis
SINGLE OF THE YEAR: Take That - Patience
BEST LIVE ACT: Madonna
BEST COMEBACK: Take That
ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not
CANER OF THE YEAR: Noel Gallagher
SHAGGER OF THE YEAR: Russell Brand
SACK THE STYLIST: Britney Spears
BEST FILM: Borat
BEST COMEDY: Little Britain
BEST ACTOR: Daniel Craig
BEST ACTRESS: Keira Knightley
BEST DJ: Chris Moyles

Sweeping The Nation has embarked on a slow-reveal of its top 30 2006 albums. Overall winner:
TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain

Tony Sylvester of Southern Distribution picked top albums:
1. Kaada - Music For Movie Bikers
2. Daniel Higgs - Ancestral Songs
3. Entrance - Prayer Of Death
4. Current 93 - Black Ships Ate The Sky
5. Burial - Self Titled

Tapes N Tapes favourite album of the year, according to Filter:
Liars - Drum's Not Dead

Time Out New York's top albums:
1. Joanna Newsom - Ys
2. The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers
3. Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
4. Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
5. Mastodon - Blood Mountain

Tiny Mix Tapes suggests a tiny mix tape of the best tracks of 2006, including:
Ghostface Killah - The Champ
The Flaming Lips - The Sound of Failure
Boozoo Bajou featuring Oh No - Back Up
CSS - Let’s Make Love and Listen to Death from Above

UK Music Bloggers poll organised by Sweeping The Nation:
1. TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
2. The Pipettes - We Are The Pipettes
3. Camera Obscura - Lets Get Out Of This Country
4. Cat Power - The Greatest
5. Joanna Newsom - Ys

We Are Scientists favourite single, according to 6Music:
We Are Scientists - Inaction

Paul Weller's favourite singles, according to 6Music:
Midlake - Young Bride and
Amy Winehouse - Rehab

John Wenzel, Denver Post staff writer, picked his CDs of the year:
1. Snowden - Anti-Anti
2. Band of Horses - Everything All The Time
3. Built To Spill - You, In Reverse
4. Beck - The Information
5. The Black Angels - Passover

John Williamson reviews the year in the Glasgow Herald: The Young Knives' Voices of Animals and Men is at least [The Arctic Monkey's] equal, and the Long Blondes re-enforced Sheffield's claim to musical city of the year (Jarvis Cocker's solo album and Richard Hawley's belatedly acclaimed Cole's Corner also deserve mention) with their updated take on C86 pop. The rush to cash-in on the Arctic Monkeys (like Oasis and the Stone Roses before them) brought a number of atrocities in their wake, but at least the cause seemed modest in the receipt of their acclaim.

Chris Wilman of Entertainment Weekly's favourite albums of the year:
1. The Dixie Chicks - Taking The Long Way
2. Lily Allen - Alright, Still
3. The Beatles - Love
4. Drive-By Truckers - A Blessing And A Curse
5. Vince Gill - These Days

Wikipedia's (potentially) ever-changing attempt at a chronology of music in 2006: November 8 – Nelly Furtado makes a cameo in the Portuguese soap opera Floribella.

... and a Wikipedia chronology of UK music: Single sales bounced back in 2006 as legal downloads added nearly thirty million sales to the total for the year. Despite this, the 17,694 copies sold during it's week at number one gave Orson's "No Tomorrow" the distiction of being the lowest sales ever of a chart topper.

... and Wikipedia on Swiss music in 2006: Despite the consistency at the top of the chart thus far in 2006, the Swiss singles chart has seen a lot of popular acts pass through it. Normally in the first two months of the year the chart would be mostly quiet, but the top ten has been fairly active, with acts including US5, 50 Cent, Ch!pz and Mary J. Blige entering toward the higher end of the chart this year.

Amy Winehouse's favourite singles, according to 6Music:
The Zutons - Valerie

Yahoo Music reviews the year: Pete Doherty Kicks Reporter: Finally, this guy successfully kicked something

Yahoo Top Searches found Britney the overall most-searched for term on the web in 2006; Shakira's Hips Don't Lie was the most-searched for lyrics.

Yannorossi posted a top ten albums:
1. The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers
2. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
3. Lily Allen - Alright, Still
4. The Long Blondes - Someone To Drive You Home
5. Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea

This post will be updated as more lists are published on and offline; last updated 08-01-07 at 2.00pm
The 2005 collection

music 2006

Re-edited

Coming soon to iTunes: a specialist remixy reworking of the now somewhat old-hatty Editors album.

The newly reminted stuff comprises four tracks:

1. Camera (Sebastian Remix)
2. Munich (Ghislain Porier Remix)
3. All Sparks (Prince Language Remix)
4. Blood (P Nice Remix)

And, in a nice touch, some other remixes which haven't made the grade will be spread amongst websites during the following few months.

It's not a new album, but it's a glimmer of hope.

music editors

Let's hope it was a piano tuna

To be honest, we can't find it in ourselves to be interested in the former girlfriend of Ben Mills - apparently he's on the X Factor on something called ITV - being fined for dumping fish in his piano when he dumped her, but we couldn't resist the piano tuna joke.

music x factor

Fergie: the unquiet soul

It turns out that like Thatcher, Fergie gets up to work in the middle of the night:

"You can't assume any success.

"Usually artists spend time in the studio recording an album, then they do prep, then they do press. And then they tour.

"Most find it hard but I love it.

"I even get up at three in the morning sometimes to work."

Aha... that explains why much of the record sounds like it's written by someone in their sleep, then.

music fergie

Cashback for (not) good

Michael M emails us with the news that Jason Orange ended up in tears when he sang. And not in a Johnny Ray way, either:

Take That singer Jason Orange was left in tears after recording the solo vocals for a new album track, according to The Sun. The group were reportedly in Los Angeles finishing their new record Beautiful World when the singer broke down. After recording the lead solo vocals for 'Wooden Boat' Orange apparently began crying because he was so proud of his efforts. He has come under much scrutiny as a singer in the past, and was accused by journalists of only being in Take That because of his skills as a dancer.

Maybe he sobbed, but we bet the sobs were nothing to the frightened cries that little children have been bursting into during the ITV trail for An Audience With Take That when Gary Barlow appears - out of nowhere the screen is filled with Barlow looking like something midway between the star of an Al-Qaeda suicide video and those hapless blokes entrapped by US television into turning up at thirteen year old girls' homes carrying duct tape and condoms. Barlow isn't a bad-looking bloke for his age, so it's a tribute to the lack of talent at ITV that they manage to make him look less like a person you'd invite into your living room to sing a few pop songs than a bloke who has chewed through his electronic ankle tag and set off a nationwide police search.

Take That have offered their record label their money back if the album is poorly received - a first for the music industry.

If this is true, you'd have to ask what, exactly, the role of the record label is here - if they've been indemnified by their artists, then what is the risk to them in releasing the album? And if there is no risk, then for what are they being rewarded with profits?

If this is true, and Take That have the funds to underwrite the album, then they've just cut a deal so stupid it makes Robbie William's gurning face look like the Buddah. If you could afford to pay for the album, boys, then... why didn't you?

music take that

The dream is over

Hard though it may be to believe, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting a divorce after just four months of publicity ("marriage").

Anderson - who was previously married to Tommy Lee - now intends to marry Vince Neil to complete the set.

music tommy lee pamela anderson kid rock

It's a terrible crime to kill a bear

Country singer and idiot Troy Lee Gentry has been convicted of killing a bear - a bear which the charmer had bought purely to hunt.

Gentry still seems to think that the problem is not in his killing of an animal, but in the messy paperwork surrounding it:

Gentry's attorney said he had pleaded guilty "to a simple charge having to do with improper tagging".

"I did participate in improperly tagging the animal I shot, without realising the seriousness of what I was doing," said the singer in a statement posted on his official website.

"For that I am truly sorry. This has been a humbling experience for me, and one which I deeply regret."

He was fined USD15,000 and not, unfortunately, rubbed with salmon and sent naked into Bear Lake.

music troy lee gentry

Courtney takes over the radio

This year's special guest programmers of 6Music have been announced, with Oasis, Moby and Courtney Love being given charge of the network:

Love has had access to the entire BBC library, and said she had picked "a lot of old '60s stuff" to play on-air.

As opposed, of course, to the new 60s stuff.

As well as the Beatles and Elvis Presley, songs by New Order, REM and the Bangles are among her choices.

"I'm doing a teaching exercise. I want people to learn things," she said.

"I've made a list, checked it twice, and I found myself living in the past."

Goodness, yes - I, for one, am waiting to be introduced to these obscure bands like The Beekles, Jaime Pressley and the Binglies. It really will be a learning experience, won't it?

music 6music courtney love oasis moby

Radiobit: Alan Freeman

Although he had been unwell for some time, it's still crushing to hear the news of the death of Alan Freeman, the man who set the standard for chart rundown programmes during his time hosting Pick of the Pops.

Born in Melbourne in 1927, Freeman's original career plan had been to become an opera singer. He even spent two years training for the job, but eventually accepted that his future lay somewhere else than the twilight of the gods. Opera's loss was radio's gain, as he relocated to Tasmania and embarked on a career filling the bits between records with his distinctive low-key wit and high-powered charm.

He took a while to find his feet - on one occasion, his mother rang the studio to ask why the music had disappeared from his programme, only to discover her son had fallen asleep on the job. Luckily, Mum seemed to be the only person who'd noticed.

He picked up the name Fluff from his pullovers - and it's fair to say that even while presenting rock shows, there was something of the sweater and slipper about Freeman; his chart rundowns and programmes never lacked excitement, but his style was the excitement of discovery rather than the sense of risk and danger some of his contemporaries, like Kenny Everett and John Peel, brought to the studio.

In 1957, Fluff took a brief holiday in London which somehow lasted for half a century. He found a role with the Great 208 of Radio Luxembourg, broadcasting pop music through a legal black hole between adverts for Bile Beans. His transfer to the BBC came before the launch of Radio One - indeed, he'd been doing Pick of the Pops on the Light Programme for years before Broadcasting House started to welcome ashore the former pirates who would create the Nation's Favourite - but it was at Radio One where he found his natural territory, adding a rock show and afternoon programme to his empire in 1972.

His original role at the BBC had been slightly less cutting-edge: he'd been hired to present Records Around Five and Housewives Choice. Records Around Five brought with it a key part of the Freeman persona: it was the first time he used At The Sound Of The Swinging Cymbal. Over time, the programme's theme tune would become his theme tune, and eventually synonymous with the very idea of chart rundowns.

Pick of the Pops had started as a slot on Trad Tavern, but became a show with its own slot and everything in 1962. His time presenting Pick of the Pops on the Light Programme hadn't been totally covered in glory - at a time when most radio was scripted, Freeman's deliberate pauses and unfinished sentences had created a friendlier style but confused management to the extent that he was taken off the programme for a few months in 1962. The slap was made open-handed when he was replaced by David Jacobs. They gave him another chance, panicked again, and it wasn't until 1964 that Freeman took over from Don Moss on a more permanent basis.

One of the most familiar voices of the time - and faces, as one of the launch presenters of Top of the Pops - Freeman wasn't afraid to do commercial work, taking theBrentford Nylons shilling to provide voiceovers for their TV ads.

In 1979, Freeman moved to Capital Radio, broadcasting a show combining that week's chart with one from the past - in an age more relaxed about media brands, he was able to call it Pick of the Pops Take Two.

When Jimmy Saville left Radio One at the end of the 1980s, Freeman returned to remake the old chart show slot on the model of Pick of the Pops and to take back the Saturday Rock Show. He didn't find favour with the Matthew Bannister regime, though, and left Radio One in 1993. During the period when the AM network tried to make up for in star power what it lacked in audio fidelity, Freeman put in some time at Virgin 1215, before making a third, and final, passing from the commercial sector to the BBC to revive Pick of the Pops for Radio 2. He continued with the job even after arthritis and asthma led him to relocate to a retirement home.

Never one to take himself too seriously, Freeman gleefully played up a cameo role of himself in Harry Enfield's Smashy and Nicey special. His career concluded with an evening series dedicated to opera and light classical music for Radio Two - returning him to the music he originally set out to make.

Freeman won virtually every radio award possible, including a Sony for Radio Personality of the Year and Lifetime Achievement, and membership of the Radio Academy Hall of Fame. He was made a MBE in 1998.

Alan Freeman was 79. And, to end the way he would have:

Alright?
Stay Bright
Not 'arf.

music obit obituary alan freeman radio

Zune told "keep off the common"

The limited nature of wi-fi filesharing allowed by Zune has prompted a proposed tightening up of the Creative Commons licence.

Because sending a song from one Zune to another - in the unlikely event of finding another person with a Zune - builds a three-play decay into any track, regardless of if it has Micorsoft's DRM or not, there had been some concern this went against the spirit of the CC licence. The licence will, if the changes are adopted, be reworded to turn that from spirit to letter:

"When You distribute, publicly display, publicly perform, or publicly digitally perform the Work, You may not impose any technological measures on the Work that restrict the ability of a recipient of the Work from You to exercise the right granted to them under the License."

In other words, the very nature of Zune to Zune sharing runs contrary to the concept of free culture promoted by the licence.

In other Zune news, we were looking at the three page glossy advert for the player in the current Rolling Stone, and were struck by what was missing: not a single mention of Microsoft.

music zune creative commons

Monday, November 27, 2006

How many of us can truly say we've never wound up in a go-go bar looking for cookies?

JoJo Trouble for JoJo, after the underage pop popette was spotted in Los Angeles Hyde Lounge, described by the UPI as an "adult locale".

JoJo has seen Seventh Heaven enough to know the routine - a half apology, a little learning, and we can all move on:

"I didn't know it was 21 and over," the "Baby It's You" singer said. "It's a freakin' restaurant and I was there with my mom and two other underage friends. I had milk and cookies! I wasn't drinking alcohol."

We're still at a loss as to who goes to a restaurant in the middle of Los Angeles and has milk and cookies, but we're sure the real moral of this is: Kids, don't smoke.

And remember, just because a place doesn't have topless waitresses doesn't mean it isn't a go-go bar.

music jojo

Gennaro Castaldo watch: The That came back

Perhaps wisely choosing not to dwell on the miscalling of the Oasis-U2 chart battle, Gennaro Castaldo concentrates on Take That's return to number one:

HMV's Gennaro Castaldo said: 'Take That appear to have much wider and more credible appeal second time around.

'You get the feeling many have warmed to them now they are no longer a teen band. Take That are a bit Cliff-like, in danger of becoming a national treasure.'

We're not sure we can follow what he means here - are they a crumbly, Cliff-like national treasure (which suggests not much in the way of credibility) or are they "more credible"? They can't be both, surely?

It's perhaps unfair to rib Castaldo over his suggestion that U2 and Oasis was the only game in town last week, as - by Thursday - sales figures showing that people were behaving differently. Indeed, he even tried to tell the Belfast Telegraph as much:

HMV's Gennaro Castaldo said Westlife were still fighting for the number one spot, but that he thought indie rockers Oasis had the edge over the record-breaking Irish boy band.

"People might have thought that the race for the number one album this week would be between Oasis and The Beatles and perhaps even U2, but Westlife are proving their enduring appeal and they can certainly hold their own when it comes to chart success.

"HMV still believes that Oasis will have the fan base and broad appeal to sell more copies of their album over the course of the week to land the number one, but it's clearly going to be a lot tighter than everyone imagined.

"It's not impossible that Westlife could upset the odds, while The Beatles aren't out of the reckoning either, but we think Oasis will emerge on top."

You'll note he was by then suggesting that everyone had thought Oasis would run away with it up until the middle of the week - but if that was the case, why had he been talking up a U2-Oasis battle? Still, nice to see that with over half the week's sales done, he still managed to back the wrong horse.

What is questionable, though, is the claim that Oasis have "broad appeal" - they might have a large fan base, but that isn't quite the same thing, is it?

He also popped up in a Sun campaign designed to try and stop Westlife taking the number one spot. Notably less successful than their campaign to stop Kinnock, that one.

music gennaro castaldo westlife oasis

Something kind of wooooo-oooooh jumping in my tutu

It's odd, isn't it, how every "haunted place" programme manages to turn up some sort of ghostly apparition to pad out the programming? Almost as if ectoplasm was as driven by the need for celebrity as Sharon Osbourne.

Girls Aloud are doing a ghosty thing for ITV2, for example, and they were spooked by some sort of spook. Cheryl Tweedy felt a presence:

“It was terrible. I yelled and burst into tears when something touched my arm.”

Luckily, it turned out to be an unquiet spirit and not something really horrible like a toilet attendant.

It's not the first time Girls Aloud have shared a TV programme with a bunch of barely-there horrific characters, having appeared with G4 on Popstars.

music girls aloud cheryl tweedy

Who knew there was still more dignity to lose?

The Osbournes adverts work has always smacked of desperation - and, since they're not short of a few bob, we can only assume it's desperation for attention at any price. But who knew that there was a down, after Ozzy's margarine pushing and Sharon's ill-fated time as the embodiment of Asda, claiming that she was a "busy mum" despite her adult children all having moved out to more-or-less round the clock rehab years before.

Last night, Sharon took up her new role: the unnaturally smooth face of Gala Bingo. Yes, she's so needy to be in front of a camera, Sharon has signed on for a truly toe-curling promotion for the online bingo games.

Sharon is seen by a swimming pool in Hollywood, denying that success has changed her (which is true - she's always been horrific) and enjoying a game of housey-housey on her laptop.

Does this mean that Gala's key target - of down-at-heel women getting on a little in years - identify with Osbourne?

The advert raises one question: Osbourne tells us that she's in Hollywood, playing online bingo. Isn't online gambling illegal in California?

music sharon osbourne

Cliff and Hucknall sent packing

The review of copyright in recordings has recommended that the current length - fifty years - be preserved, rejecting calls from record companies, Cliff Richard and Mick Hucknall for a 95 year period of protection.

Andrew Gowers, who investigated the question of extending copyright on behalf of the Treasury, has found no reason to change the rules.

Of course, we're now in for a period of a bruised BPI licking its wounds and pouting, although it seems they've got Daily Telegraph writers doing that on their behalf to start with:

Music journalist Neil McCormack told BBC Radio Five Live it was a blow to the industry.

"This was set before the advent, the big boom of rock and roll. The boom in popular culture which has led to a whole vast number of people making their living from these royalties.

"You can make a record in 1955 and have been getting royalties... been living on that and suddenly they're gone."

Of course, Neil will be especially worried about how he'll survive come 2056 when the cash from his Bono-endorsed People Are Trying To Kill Me runs out. McCormack has long been a supporter of the idea that people should earn a century of cash from an afternoon's work, pushing the case as far back as August 2004, so his moaning now common sense has prevailed is unsurprising.

He fails, you note, to name a single artist who is "making their living" from recordings made in 1955 - because, of course, there aren't any. Most of the recordings from this era are the property of record labels, those stars big enough to have managed to have wrested control back are like Cliff Richard - who might make money from them, but is hardly relying on the Move It royalty cheque before he can go shopping down the Lidl this week, is he?

Throughout, the arguments made by the pro-extension lobby have been - at best - spurious. Had they perhaps found a single singer who was enjoying an old age funded purely on the work he did in a recording studio in the 1950s, they might have had a stronger case. But there's nobody who fits that description.

They've been seen through by Andrew Gowers.

music andrew gowers bpi

You come on just like special K

As part of the (deserved) hoopla surrounding the launch of lush Josef K miscellany Entomology, Domino US are hosting a couple of free mp3 downloads drawn from the band's Postcard years:

Sorry For Laughing
It's Kinda Funny

Shockingly, over a quarter of a century old; pleasingly, as fresh as they were at the time.

music josef k

Sunday, November 26, 2006

So, what news from the battlezone?

Desperate retailers were pitching it as the biggest chart battle since Blur v Oasis in the singles charts - indeed, HMV's Gennaro Castaldo considered the release of Please Make It Stop by Oasis and U2EGO such a clash of the titans, they were ordering enormous cardboard cut-outs of Bono and Gallagher to sit by the doorway.

So, who came out top?

Erm, Westlife.

Oasis did limp in at number two, but U2 had to make do with four, behind The pointless Beatles remix album done to soundtrack some sort of circus.

That HMV thought U2 v Oasis was the key event of the week perhaps suggests how far they've lost sight of what matters to their customers. Giant Gallagher-Vox displays were about as relevant to the marketplace as if the Daily Sketch had reported the Second World War in terms of skirmishes between Italy and Canada.

music oasis u2 westlife the beatles

Heather Mills sets up filter on "hag", "harlot", "golddigger"...

This morning's NOTW reports that Heather Mills is increasingly coming to see herself as something of the Diana of our times, persecuted and crushed by a house seen as a national treasure; misunderstood and only wishing to do good.

This may or may not be true, but it's hard to see how Mills could be convinced she's the People's Princess II while she's having to wade through more hate email than a Farepak director every morning.

The Sunday Mirror reports:

Since her split from Sir Paul McCartney, she has been shocked to read hundreds of venomous emails sent to her website from around the world. Heather has been left so distraught by some of them she has asked her staff to weed them out.

We love that idea that hitherto, Heather has been sat at her Dell laptop diligently providing first eyes to her own inbox. Although, maybe she has, as the only other possibility is that her PA has been printing out the acrid emails so her boss can read them each morning.

The Mirror then wobbles a little over the science of all this:

The messages were all sent using an email facility which has now been removed from the website and didn't appear online. It means genuine fans have been unable to communicate with her.

Is it just us, or does that make no sense whatsoever? If it's been removed from the website, how could it have never appeared online?

It's heartbreaking to think that anyone who still likes Mills is unable to send her messages online, although there is still an easy way for the Heather fanbase to communicate with her: she can look in the mirror and talk to herself any time she chooses.

Still, she's putting a brave face on it, telling US TV:

"When all this happened I just thought everybody would blame me so I sort of had my head down. But I get nothing but support - people want to come up and give me a hug."

"Shaking warmly by the throat", as the old music hall routine would have it.

Still, it can't be easy for Heather, who has to present this positive image to people while - according to "close friends" - feeling so wretched inside. It's not like Heather has any experience of saying one thing while meaning something else, is it?

music heather mills paul mccartney

A disturbance on the Beckham's driveway

Goodness, fetch the smelling salts. The News of the World arrives panting with some chilling news:

A BODYGUARD to the Beckhams pulled a GUN on three intruders in a kidnap scare at the couple's Spanish home, the News of the World can reveal.The armed minder dramatically confronted them seconds after they slipped through a metal gate and headed towards the £5million mansion where Posh, 32, and one-year-old son Cruz were inside.

Blimey. A kidnap scare, eh? That's shocking.

Except, of course, rather than a big band of dangerous kidnappers hoping to put Victoria Beckham into a sack of some sort, they were waving guns in the faces of a hapless Japanese camera crew who were filming a documentary on footballer's houses.

The more important question seems to have been missed by the paper. Since these people could have been happily kept off the Posh Lawn by a locked gate, does that suggest the Beckham security team are the sort of people who should be allowed to run about waving guns at people threatening to shoot them? If they can't be trusted to padlock a gate, should they be trusted to cock a revolver and aim at people?

It's not the first time, of course, that the News of the World has run a story about a kidnap threat to Victoria Beckham which turned out to be less than the sum of its parts. The last time, they paid convicted criminal Florim Gashi £10,000 for his story which resulted in a collapsed case and a massive waste of public money spent on trials.

music victoria beckham david beckham

UN calls for moratorium on "Oops, she did it again" headlines

Presumably there must be a few newsrooms left who haven't turned out all their subeditors in the procession towards becoming multimedia hubs - and yet never, it seems, does anyone ever think that headlining an article about Britney Spears "Oops I Did It Again" might not be a little hackneyed by now?

Nevertheless, it's hurled out by the News of the World over some Britney upskirts and rumours that she might have spent the night with two men - two separate nights, it should be said. One of the men was Saved By The Bell's AC Slater, which shows that whatever lessons she may have clicked and carried from her most recent adventures, it hasn't done much for her taste.

The other "man" was, erm, her manager, which the paper tries to work up something from:

She then went into her hotel for a change of clothes — and came out with a change of fella, her boss JASON TRAWICK.

Our man in the US said: "He's her manager but they didn't act like it. It's all very fishy but she is single."

They stayed overnight at PAMELA ANDERSON's pad and were snapped the next day wearing the same clothes.

We're not entirely sure, but the paper seems to be suggesting there's something odd in Britney and her manager not keeping a full change of clothes at every celebrity's house, don't they?

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"And now, Status Quo, George Michael and Michael Ball will join Sir Elton for Candle In The Wind..."

We know that the end of next summer is going to be a pretty grim time all round, as the Daily Express marks ten years since the British state somehow silenced Diana Spencer heavily pregnant with sixteen Muslim children by using eye-burning lasers and a decoy drunken, drugged pisspoor driver.

The decade since everyone went a bit doolally is going to be harder for some than others - a lot of people are going to have to try and explain why, precisely, they thought it worthwhile to spend their time travelling down to London to put clingfilm wrapped roses on a pile of decaying vegetation visible from space to mark the fact that even the very rich don't wear their seatbelts.

But now, it looks like it might be a misery for all of us - the delightful, piano-playing princes are all grown up now, and they've decided the best way to mark ten years since their mother had a fatal road traffic accident is to throw a car-crash of a live pop event.

Nothing has been confirmed yet, but the usual names are being trotted out - George Michael, Kylie, Elton John - and Microsoft have already announced that Word 2007 will feature a shortcut allowing journalists to add the phrase "the largest pop concert in London since Live8, two years ago" to their copy with a single keystroke.

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