Folkobit: Denny Doherty

The death has been announced of Denny Doherty, Mamas and the Papas songwriter. He was 66.

Doherty was born in Nova Scotia in 1940, and started singing on the Canadian folk scene in his teens. His first serious band, The Halifax Three, managed a deal with Colombia and a minor hit The Man Who Wouldn't Sing Along With Mitch before falling apart. The band's demise left Doherty and Zal Yanovsky broke in New York, from which they were rescued by "Mama" Cass Elliot. Hearing of their plight, she persuaded her management to augment her band, The Big Three by taking on the pair. Further band augmentation led to a name change to Mugwumps, and an untenable financial position. The band fell apart, and Doherty was once more without a visible means of support.

Doherty was thus luckily able to take advantage of the departure of Marhsall Brickman from The New Journeyman, filling the man's shoes for a set of prebooked tour dates. The Journey ended in 1965, but the band reformulated - with Cass Elliot on board - as The Magic Circle. Shortly after signing their first deal, a run of bands with terrible names was topped when they elected to change their name to The Mamas and The Papas, a title so terrible it's still being used for a pram and nappy shop today.

Their debut album, If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears, was something of a triumph, although not uncontroversial - complaints about the sleeve weren't focused on the band, sharing a bath (fully clothed). No, it was the presence of a toilet in the picture that led to charges of indecency. Later versions would cover or crop the offending John.

Behind the can was, in effect, everything the band is known for - vocal harmonies, California Dreamin, The In Crowd, Monday, Monday. If it had the sound of someone choking on a ham sandwich, it would have the lot. Rolling Stone still reckons it to be the 127th best album ever made - doesn't sound much, but there's been a lot of albums released over the years - and its modest sales of half a million disguises quite how central to pop culture the record would become. BBC Four, for example, is calling its season on California the California Dreaming season - it's quite an accolade for your creation to become something of a dead cliche that people can't quite shake off.

Doherty wrecked the band by that old stand-by, having an intra-band affair. His was with Michelle Phillips, with the added complication that her husband, John, was also a Mama and Papa; she ended up kicked out the band and Doherty on the juice. The atmosphere wasn't exactly perfect for making blissed out tunes, and the decision to draft in Jill Gibson (the producer's girlfriend) didn't exactly work out, either. The substitute was paid off, Michelle was brought back, and things got even harder for Doherty to cope with.

A lacklustre performance at the Monterrey Pop Festival and an incident where John slagged Cass off in front of Mick Jagger added to a terrible working relationship; Cass stayed for just as long as the contract forced her to. July 1968, as it turned out.

Elliot and Doherty remained friends, as she enjoyed some solo success and he continued to drink; an offer of marriage from her was turned down. In 1974, Cass died. Her funeral was the first time the band were in the same place without bickering for years.

Doherty had a solo career which was well-reviewed if not especially lucrative. He took the lead in a 1975 Warhol Broadway play, Man On The Moon, and a return to Canada in 1978 saw him presenting Denny's Sho, thirteen half hours of "musical entertainment."

There was a sort-of revival of the band - John Phillips firmly in charge - which featured Doherty in the 80s, although it was more the Daughters and the Papas, featuring Mackenzie, John's offspring. Doherty also produced Dream a Little Dream, a stage show telling the Mamas and Papas story from his perspective.

More recently, he provided the voices for Thomas The Tank Engine wannabe Theodore Tugboat.

Doherty died on January 19th at his home in Ontario. Cause of death was an abdominal aneurysm.

music obit obituary denny doherty the mamas and the papas

Parlophone buy into Babyshambles

Normally, when bands sign long-rumoured deals, the size of the signing is measured in quids. It's usually a totally made-up figure, and never less than several millions, but it's standard.

Not so Parlophone's decision to take their one ep with Babyshambles to the next level: a full, long-term, public commitment; and one unsullied by talk of money and cash and so on. It's all about the art:

"We're extremely pleased to be welcoming such a vibrant and talented band into the Parlophone label," said managing director Miles Leonard.

Parlophone has cultivated some of the UK's most successful rock acts, including Coldplay and Radiohead.

"We see Babyshambles very much as continuing this tradition," said Leonard.

"They have a great reputation for crafting some of the most exciting music around today, and in Peter Doherty they have one of the best songwriters of his generation."

So, Babyshambles have hooked up with EMI, on the same imprint as Bernard Cribbins used to record for. We're expecting a Best Of (with two new tracks, specially recorded) sometime in late 2009, then. If Pete makes it.

music pete doherty babyshambles parlophone

Music is my hot, hot fest

CSS are being added to the already overflowing bucket of delights (Foals, Orange Lights, Nouvelle Vague, Help She Can't Swim, Kubichek, Mumm-Ra, Mr Hudson & The Library, and Ripchord) for this year's Great Escape festival in Brighton.

Meanwhile, the Glastonbury spin-off effect is continuing to spawn new stand-alone microfests from the people who organise various tents and fields in the Mendips: Croissant Neuf Summer Party will take place at a "secret" location in the Welsh borders on August 19th.

music css great escape croissant neuf

A working defintion of turgid: Coldplay bring back Travis

Chris Martin playing a track by Travis. It's only lacking "to an audience with Snow Patrol in it, as a request for James Blunt, and we would be able to use it to put brain surgery patients to sleep.

Even Chris Martin sounded like he was slipping under as he put the track on, during a guest slot on Zane Lowe's show:

"We're gonna finish with an incredible exclusive, we're very privileged to play it, it's a new song by the band Travis, the band that invented my band and lots of others, along with Radiohead... um, as in those two bands invented bands like mine... get to the point... Travis here we go."

music chris martin coldplay travis

The bath leaked quickly... the story took longer

There is, perhaps, little sadder than people who still wreck hotel rooms, seemingly unaware that they're simultaneously enacting a tired old cliche and making life even more miserable for the poor sods who have to clean up after them on the barely-minimum wage.

What's more, if you're a band, and you're staying at the Travelodge, you really don't want to draw attention to that. It's effectively shouting "our record label don't really want to invest very much in us."

So, big applause all round to The View who behaved like oiks at the Liverpool Travelodge. Apparently, drunk and incapable, they put a duvet in a bath and turned the taps on.

It's not just the seven grands worth of damage, as the other guests trying their darnedest to get some sort of rest in the Travelodge who also had their stays disrupted - lets hope there was nobody staying there while they were visiting a dying relative, or before an important job interview, say.

That this happened in November, but hits the papers in the week their album is released, makes it seem almost as if they're proud of themselves and trying to use their tiresome behaviour to flog some records.

And their punishment? Banned from every Travelodge in the land. Which is hardly a punishment at all.

music travelodge the view

Noel Gallagher likes furry creatures

Who knew that Noel Gallagher would be a big fan of Meerkat Manor?:

“Mostly I sit at home with my daughter Anais watching Meerkat Manor.”

Mind you, a bunch of small, furry creatures which stare into the distance looking for trouble - he probably thinks it's an Oasis docusoap.

[Plug: Buy Meerkat Manor]

music noel gallagher oasis

EMI announces new team

Having had a terrible Christmas, and indeed, a fairly rotten 2006, EMI axed its top management a couple of weeks ago. It's needed; after all, a record label which really built its hopes for the year on the back of Robbie Williams, Janet Jackson and Keith Urban clearly needs to take a new direction.

Instead, of course, EMI has chosen to promote from within the same team as has been running the ship into the ground.

Thus, Eric Nicoli moves to expand his role. He's been executive chairman of EMI for years; now, he's become CEO. Before he joined EMI, he wasn't entirely without links to the music industry - United Biscuits had owned the Linda McCartney brand name while he was in charge there.

JF Cellion has been promoted from being in charge of Europe to chairman & CEO, EMI Music International. Before Cellion joined EMI, he was with Sega, overseeing the launch of the Dreamcast and pumping twelve million quid into sponsoring Arsenal to promote it. Money, we're sure, well spent.

It's certainly a powerful sounding team.

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Celebrity Big Brother: Let's not forget the real victim here

Since we last mentioned Celebrity Big Brother, the story has grown and grown - there was a strange moment last night when you could flick between E4 and BBC One, and Russell Brand and David Dimbleby were both inviting an audience to ask famous faces about the goings on in the house.

David Cameron has pretty much defined his leadership by suggesting that the answer to the complex questions raised by the programme is to "not watch it" - the Tories, of course, have long responded to racism by looking the other way and pretending it isn't happening, so we shouldn't be surprised.

And Gordon Brown, trying to hide his glee that it's helped raise the profile of his visit to India to the front end of the new bulletins, snorts that he prefers the X-Factor.

Gordon likes a programme where the talented usually lose the big prize to someone a bit vapid but who looks good on TV? What can he find to enjoy there?

Very little of the coverage and debate seems able to define itself clearly: are people objecting to the programme, or are they objecting to the behaviour of Goody, that woman out of Zoo and Jo O'Meara? Isn't this the first time that Big Brother has actually done what it told us it wanted to, and really shown us what British society is really like? Channel 4 could argue, should they wish, that the programme isn't endorsing the behaviour and that there is a public interest in showing the way some people might behave when they're not appearing in anti-bullying campaigns. Of course, to do that, the network would have to admit that there's something nasty at the base of the bullying - but then it would have to explain why it hadn't followed the rules of the programme and put a stop to it.

As their careers tank, friends of the three women are popping up all over the media to insist how they haven't got a racist bone in their bodies, and how some of the people they have sometimes seen in the street might be a bit German or something.

A petition on PetitionOnline calls for us to care for the real victim here: Jo O'Meara, apparently:

We have witnessed Jo stand up for Shilpa, but also be dragged into Jade and Danielles bitching conversations, in which she doesnt seem to say anything (to avoid conflict with them) except look as though she is agreeing. She is now being seen as part of this gang by the outside world and this is just not her! The two things in life Jo is most against is racism and bullying. She has suffered herself in her younger years from bullying and would never dream of doing it to another. As for racist, this she is definatly not as some of her own family are of the Indian origin.

We think that the "of the Indian origin" probably says it all, really. We did wonder, though, if the echoes of "how can I hate women? My mother was one" meant this was just some post-modern prank, but the confusion the petition then sinks into suggests it's all done quite seriously:

If BB were fair on their editing of Jo and showed her positive comments, laughter, and entertainment and got rid of Jade Goody and Danielle -to avoid Jo being dragged in to any of their petty little sessions again- we guarantee you WILL see the real genuine Jo.

So... it's not actually that Jo's bullying Shilpa, it's just that she's joining in the bullying sessions because Jade and Danielle are there - only obeying orders, if you like? But then why was she sitting, cackling like one of the Hyenas in the Buffy 'Pack' episode? If she hates bullying so much, why didn't she step in? Why didn't she stop it? Why did she not walk out? Why did she sit there cackling?

The petition also has to try and work out how, if Jo is so at home with "people of the Indian origin", she made the ignorant comment about people in India being thin "because they don't cook their food properly." It tries to explain this:

Lastly, we do not condone the recent comment said by Jo at all, as it was extremely OUT of character for her and she does not seem to realise what she has said and the impact it can have. People close to Jo have admitted it is very unlike her and can see she has been heavily influenced and definatly spoke before thinking.

Aha! She's not racist when she has a chance to think through how her comments will look on television. Doubtless Trevor Phillips will be preparing the job offer right away.

music celebrity big brother jo o'meara s club 7 gordon brown david cameron jade goody danielle lloyd

Ditto: from cool to snobbery in a few short months

There's a little of the "what exactly did you expect" when Beth Ditto starts complaining about the audience for their Scissor Sisters support dates:

"I love the Sisters and think we've a lot of common ground, but supporting their tour was a soul-sucking experience. It wasn't gigs, it was 'concerts'.

"Like when you're nine and New Kids On The Block come to town and you camp outside the mall all day to get a ticket.

"The audience were moms wanting chart hits. They've never seen a John Waters movie or heard The Ramones."

But what was she expecting at a big, showy chart band's tour? And isn't there something a little sneery about the "they've never seen a John Waters movie or heard the Ramones" - never mind the "moms" bit, a curious term of abuse for someone who claims to be a feminist. How does she know that the audience didn't contain a large number of Ramones fans? Perhaps they all love Rockaway Beach but went to see a Top 40 group knowing what to expect of such a gig. Pity The Gossip didn't.

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Robbie Williams is not walking on toilet paper

It's not often we feel the need to defend Robbie Williams, but this morning's Daily Record seems to have missed his attempt at a joke:

HOME bird Robbie Williams reckons he's like famous recluse Howard Hughes because he goes out so rarely.

The singer moved to the States several years ago but prefers staying in to going out to Hollywood hotspots.

Billionaire playboy Hughes was a mega-rich industrialist and aviator but his life was crippled by obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The tycoon, who died in 1976, would only talk to his second wife by telephone and eventually became a total recluse.

So, is Williams drawing up plans for a wooden aeroplane? Erm, not quite: he was only joking that he'd not been to a party since Christmas:

"I haven't been out. I've been Howard Hughes for the last four weeks.

"This is my big evening."

Unless the Daily Record has some inside knowledge that he has, in fact, actually been Howard Hughes, we suspect he meant this in the way a person in the pub will say "I'm Billy No-mates" if the people he's with go to the bar and the toilet at the same time leaving him on his own for five minutes.

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Babylon 0

David Gray is taking part in the celebrations marking 80 years of football commentary, apparently being the only Man United fan free this Saturday.

He'll be on Five Live with Bob Primrose Wilson for the Man U - Arsenal match:

"I have already been briefed about my attire. I have got a huge sheepskin coat - it is beyond those worn by JOHN MOTSON and I will be wearing that."

Hint, David: It's radio. The whole costume thing might be a little bit redundant.

music david gray bob wilson manchester united arsenal

Gene Simmons: Role model

Gene Simmons has had a pop at Ozzy Osbourne for his parenting skills:

"My family is more structured and they behave properly.

"My kids don't take drugs, they're well mannered and properly disciplined and I don't go letting dogs poop on the carpet.

"I'm not a drug addict - in fact I have never been drunk, I don't smoke or have ever taken drugs and never will."

Well, Gene, you might not be addled on drugs but something must have addled you if it's taken you five years to get your review of The Osbournes together. We're waiting to hear what you made of Bet Lynch's brief return to Coronation Street.

Gene also insists that he'd never get married:

"Shannon and I have been happily unmarried for 23 years.

"I lead my life my way. I am the Alpha male and what I say goes.

"The idea of marriage is out of the question."

In other words, he's too tight to spring for rental of the village hall.

music gene simmons

But it had Richard E Grant in, and everything

With Victoria Beckham joining Mel B in the general neighbourhood of Hollywood, perhaps the survey claiming Spiceworld is the worst movie ever made is some sort of warning to beguiled casting directors.

Oddly, Spiceworld leads the list ahead of Titanic - which, yes, we thought was rubbish at the time but remember everyone else in the entire bloody world going to see over and over again. Who knew it was so despised? Presumably all those tickets were sold to people who went to spend the entire fourteen hours or however long it was booing quietly.

Grease 2 came third, which reminds us: whatever happened to the supposed new sequel with John Travolta and Olivia Newton John in?

Which, in turn, reminds us: how can Spiceworld be considered the worst film ever in a universe which has Battlefield Earth in it?

Spiceworld: Really, it wasn't that bad...

music spice girls

ROC on the streets

They released the first new music of the year - a minute into 2007 - and they're in the process of giving away their album over on ROCMUSIC - so what more could Roc do for us?

Oh, yeah - gigs. You'll find them at the Brixton Windmill on February 2nd. Make a diary-shaped note on your calendar.

music roc

Ian McCulloch sends his CV to the makers of Grumpy Old Men

An interesting, almost heartbreaking interview with Ian McCulloch in the Independent sees him lurching between overblown Scouse pride and, well, just stupidity. Or, as James McCabe put it, he's "morphing into a cross between Victor Meldrew & that bloke who mutters to himself in the corner of the pub":

I believe in anti-Darwinism - otherwise why are there still monkeys?

I believe I should be in charge of what gets made and what doesn't in the film and music industries. About 90 per cent of music and films - by which I mean the money spent on making them - should be given to charity, because about 90 per cent is rubbish. We could be building a lot of hospitals with that money.

I believe Liverpool Football Club will win a major trophy this season because we usually do.

I believe David Dimbleby should be prime minister. He seems to know what he's on about and he looks more suave than most.

His views on policemen aren't recorded, but by the time he grumbles that you can never tell when shower gel bottles are running out (no, really) you can be pretty sure he's thinking they're looking younger these days.

music ian mcculloch echo and the bunnymen

Turn that rock off, turn that rock off honey

There was a time when it seemed that, such was his determination to embody the rock and roll dream, Bobby Gillespie would end up dying on stage.

Now, though, he likes an early night and bit of quiet. Especially if Antiques Roadshow is on the High Definition. Indeed, he's petitioning to have his local pub turn it down, moaning that the Alma pub has been noisy after midnight:

"There was a live percussionist playing along with the records, the sound was of a very high frequency which reverberated into my bedroom and my children's bedroom. I found the repetitiveness disturbing and I was unable to sleep because of it."

A repetitive percussionist? No wonder he couldn't sleep, it must have been like his time in the Jesus and Mary Chain coming back to haunt him.

Gillespie added that a licence extension would mean that the pub was "disturbing the peace of our beautiful street and attracting noisy, drunk people to our area leaving the premises or coming into the area looking for a late-night drink - who are incidentally just [as loud] if not louder than the music being played".

Who was it who said "You have the right to party/ provided you don't mind some humiliation, investigation" again, Bobby?

[Thanks to Jana K for the storylink]

music primal scream bobby gillespie

All I have left to sell is the "Kick Me" sign on my ass

Kevin Federline is now at the "will drop pants for food" stage of his career, as he humiliates himself in an advert to be shown during the Superbowl. ("US TV's highest-rated show, and the scene of Janet Jackson's notorious 'wardrobe malfunction' in 2004", the BBC helpfully explains. There might be some sport involved somewhere, too.)

In the advert, Fed is shown dreaming he's in a pop video. But that's all it is: a dream. (This is somehow designed to sell insurance through a process which we expect is still awaiting to have its middle stage filled in.)

"I felt that it was a good time to come out and make fun of myself" says Federline, "I try not to take myself too seriously."

Yes, Kevin. We recall the way you never used to take yourself too seriously - what with tracks on your album called The World Is Mine and League of My Own. You never took yourself too seriously.

Not when you did a track that said:
Im on the frontline
Dodgin cameras like the one time
Cant even chill in this california sunshine
But its okay, I got somethin for ya
Im handin out ass kickins like diplomas
Who the first to get it?
Ya know K Feds wit it
All that shit rappers talk about, I already did it
Im committed - to the game
The fames why I hustle
Lyrical exercise, workin every muscle on the double
Chief and commanda
Hand ya
Ass to ya in a basket wrapped in plastic
Im looney
All these model chicks wanna do me
Tabloids tried to screw me
Magazines try to kill me
But im nasty
Too fuckin slick and sly
So high
I could prolly drop a shit and fly
You gonna need a big army
If you comin for me
K. Federline - I hit like tsunamis

You weren't taking yourself too seriously.

When you told AllHipHop that "I'd love to do a joint with the Game or even Missy or Ludacris - people from out there", you weren't taking yourself too seriously.

When you signed off that stupid, bandwidth-sapping animated Kevin for your wife-funded website... then, you weren't taking yourself too seriously.

When you launched the Kevin Federline branded webbrowser, that wouldn't have been you taking yourself too seriously, would it?

[Thanks to Franco M for the story tip]

music kevin federline super bowl

Kylie replaces the botched date

It shouldn't have taken so long, and looks now more like a bid to try and shore up the image than a gesture of generosity: if people managed to not rip up their tickets in disgust on Saturday, they can trail back across the country to the MEN for a replacement gig on January 23rd.

It would be great if Kylie came on stage and said "Right, where were, then?" and picked up from where she'd left off, but we bet that doesn't happen.

Indeed, Kylie's official statement suggests she's starting to get regal overtones:

"I have not at any stage ignored the advice of my doctors. In fact, I postponed two shows this week on their advice in order to be healthy enough to finish the tour.

"Nearly all of my crew were hit by this terrible flu during the course of this tour and despite my best efforts I too succumbed last week.

"I am now overjoyed to announce that I have been declared fit to return to the stage."

All you need is to cut in some footage of Prince Philip climbing off a plane into a sea of potential gaffes, and you'd not be able to tell that from a Christmas Message, would you?

music kylie minoge

RIAA turn heavy-handed attention to mixtape DJs

The RIAA have been defending sending in the Atlanta police to raid the offices of DJ Drama and other high-profile DJs, including the arrest of Drama and others:

Brad Buckles, executive vice president of the RIAA's Anti-Piracy Division in Washington, D.C., said the case was developed in Atlanta. For more than a year, police have been investigating the manufacture and distribution of pirated material in the city and "during that time, we've been working with police and picking up pirated product, going back and forth with local law enforcement to figure out where it's coming from," Buckles said. "[Tuesday's raid] was just one of the many series of raids that have occurred."

It's wonderful that Atlanta is such a peaceful place the local cops have time to pop into record shops and devote thousands of hours to closing down the sale of a few mixtapes. We can only suppose that the rates of robberies and aggravated robberies which were running at three times the national average in 2004 has been brought back under control. And that one in 940 women are no longer being raped in Atlanta.

The RIAA could, of course, have tried to find a way to bring mixtapes within the law, but instead, they prefer calling in the cops:

Buckles was vague when asked about the product that had been seized, saying that he only knew what he had read in the report: that "the product violated state law" and that "I'm given to understand that the CDs also contained a variety of works and different artists" that weren't licensed or cleared, and were being sold illegally.

When asked if Tuesday's raid was part of a larger series of raids targeting mixtapes, Buckles said, "We don't consider this being against mixtapes as some sort of class of product. We enforce our rights civilly or work with police against those who violate state law. Whether it's a mixtape or a compilation or whatever it's called, it doesn't really matter: If it's a product that's violating the law, it becomes a target."

Which, of course, is his right to say. And is exactly what you'd expect from people who see only two sorts of music - licensed and unlicensed. The mixtape culture is part of a vibrant world of young people enjoying, enthusing and responding to music - the sort of thing the RIAA should be supporting, if it wants to be around in ten year's time.

Why send in the cops? Why not sit down and try and find a solution that would allow mixtapes to thrive while ensuring original artists don't lose out? A series of 'fair use' rules, perhaps, or looking at a licensing deal which allowed time-limited extracts of original works to be used for a flat rate, which could be shared amongst all composers? The RIAA could respond creatively to demand. But the music industry has nothing to do with creativity.

music dj drama riaa

Who's that going to rehab? We say Lo, Lo, Lo

Lindsay Lohan has checked herself into a clinic for, well, her own good, it seems:

"I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health," she said in a statement.

"I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time," she added.

Proactive? So is this prehab rather than rehab?

music lindsay lohan

Madonna insists "it's kosher" again

If you'd kind-of, sort-of adopted a child from a different background, and he had a lot of angry, tantrum-style outbursts, you might think one of two things. You might think "this child is having trouble adjusting; it is going to take love, understanding and patience to work through this period."

Or, you might just give him a disparaging nickname and think this will make a wonderful anecdote for the Letterman show.

Yes, Madonna is back on the chat show circuit (friends who've adopted have spoken of the constant round of interviews; I didn't realise this was what they meant) and still claiming that everything was perfectly normal about the adoption:

The singer didn't shy away from the controversy over David's adoption either, telling the TV host: "Everything was kosher in terms of legal."

Madonna added: "My social worker said: 'Good luck. You're going to be making it up as you go along.'"

And making it up as she goes along she certainly has been. We think this now means that she's claimed her adoption followed Malawian law more often than she's claimed there were no laws, although she's still yet to explain how the taking of the child fitted with, say, Articles 24 and 25 of the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the Child, to which Malawi is a signatory.

It's also interesting that, while not shying away from the controversy, she neglected to engage with the story that she was funding the career development of a civil servant from the government agency which dealt with the adoption and, according to the department, had offered to do the same for others.

music madonna

Sects and sensibility

Can it really be that the Beckhams hope to continue their long and close friendship with Tom Cruise and that girl who used to be in Full House or whatever it was and not become Scientologists?

According to The Sun (with everything that that means), David's really keen, but Victoria isn't. Not because she can see that joining a religion started for a bet and based on something that sounds like a discarded Space 1999 plotline is setting yourself up for a bigger disappointment than a person buying a 'Get Fit The Janice Battersby way' DVD.

Oh, no: Vix is just too mean to buy into the cult:

A source close to the Beckhams said: “Tom spoke to David for hours about Scientology. He feels it could help to lift him out of the blues over his football career.

“But Victoria is having none of it. She can’t see the point of joining something like that where you have to donate money."

You don't know whether to laugh or cover your head in post-it notes, do you?

David has, however, managed to get himself muddled up in something else: he's going to appear in Goal 3:

David, who has a cameo role in Goal 2, said: “It’s nerve-wracking but I’m sure these films will go down in history.”

Well, if by "go down in history" you mean "will have a half-finished IMDB entry", you're probably right, David.

Meanwhile, the Sun reports that Victoria was "mobbed" in LA. How terrible that must have been for, erm, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes who were stood with her at the time.

music victoria beckham scientology david beckham tom cruise

Blunt seems to have taken the hint

Perhaps stung that people can't tell the difference between him, James Morrison, Damien Rice and Paolo Nutino, James Blunt is buying property in Switzerland.

The Sun suggests he's off to live the life of a tax exile, although the fact he's buying a ski lodge in a ski resort suggests that this might actually just be a holiday home.

The rumours that he's obsessed with the giant, inflatable Milka cows at the side of championship ski runs are just rumours. He's never attempted to buy one, and hasn't been found sitting underneath one crooning "You're Beautiful... you're Moo-tiful..." Never.

music james blunt switzerland

?!

Question Mark, out of ? And The Mysterians, has had a terrible week of it: his home of forty years was destroyed in a fire; he lost four dogs and a cockatoo; he didn't have insurance; and as if that wasn't bad enough, he'll have had to endure local TV anchors making laboured puns about how he'd be crying more than 96 tears.

He has, however, tried to keep positive:

"No matter how tragic it is, if you know who you are and know what you have to offer, don't let those tragedies bring you down,"

Michigan and his former colleagues are rallying round; there's already at least one benefit being planned.

music ?

Pete scrubbing up well

Notwithstanding the press claims of oversampling the delights of Thailand, and the supposedly drug-related fight which made Kate send him home, the official overseers of Pete Doherty are pleased with his progress:

The judge told Mr Doherty that his doctor had referred to the "great effort" he was making to beat his addiction.

"But it's a long process and there is another nine months to go," she said.

"This is more optimistic but we cannot take the pressure off. It takes day-to-day effort."

His defence counsel suggested that Doherty might be, like, some sort of super-addiction-kicker:

"Most people would have failed by now," he told the judge.

Really? If that's true, there's surely a huge question hanging over if this is the correct approach for people who've committed the same crimes as Doherty. If "most" will fail by the halfway point of their rehabilitation, is it wise to set up vulnerable people with what is a health problem - albeit an antisocial one - to fail? It seems a strange way to go about things, like coming up with a sentence for a murderer and the judge going "you know, chances are you'll murder someone else at the end of it, but whatchagonnado, eh?"

music pete doherty babyshambles

Kerrang's one off the wrist claims creams forty grand off the profits

Even claiming that it was a magazine read mainly by fourteen year old boys in Berwick wasn't enough to save Kerrang: The Bullet for My Valentine article which claimed their tour manager had been whisking himself while at work was libellous, a court has decided.

Judge Tugendhat - and was there ever more an appropriate matching of Justice and case since Judge Killalot-Bloodily heard the case of the multiple saw-murderer of Old Sarum? - awarded £40,000 to Mark Strickland and refused EMAP leave to appeal.

Earlier coverage: First day's report

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Something to listen to

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah are streaming their new album off their MySpace. In its entirety.

Playing Second Fiddle - Radio 4 explores the life of the session musician [Link will expire after seven days from TX]

Everything but the non-girl part of Everything But The Girl

Tracey Thorn is currently working on a debut solo album, covering the Pet Shop Boys and having some space from Ben:

"After years of making records with Ben, it just seemed time to take a break, and do something fresh... I've got together with a few different producers/collaborators, and we've come up with a record that (I hope) is a true reflection of who I am right now and what I love right now."

She's listing these as her influences:

Nicos Chelsea Girls, the Au Pairs live, Pete Shelley, Scritti Politti, Im still waiting by Diana Ross, Young Marble Giants, Patti Smith, Postcard records, Sandy Denny, Pet Shop Boys, Ceremony by New Order, Sufjan Stevens, Bless the Weather and Solid Air, Joanna Newsom, Evelyn Champagne King, Gypsies Tramps and Thieves by Cher...

Which sounds fine to us.

music tracey thorn everything but the girl

Pink: I've been an arse

Pink has apologised and attempted to clarify her calls for Australia to be banned in some way as a response to the practice of mulesing, the chopping of bits of sheep butts.

Pink has now revealed she hadn't done enough research. After digging a little deeper, she's discovered that the process was already being phased out, and, more crucially, she's got a big tour planned for Australia this year:

"I probably could have been a lot more researched, on my own. That's the lesson I'm taking from this.

"My message was, in my mind, boycott animal cruelty - not an entire industry, not Australia, obviously, because it's my favourite country.

"Then going back, I was speaking without thinking and I actually did say ban Australia. It's not something that I can agree with.

"I have nothing against farmers. I grew up in rural Pennsylvania. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want the animals to hurt less."

Interestingly, Pink is suggesting that she'd not been properly briefed by PETA before recording her message.

music pink

Kerrang in court to defend "Stinky" slur

Kerrang has wound up in court after publishing claims that a Bullet For My Valentine tour manager was wanking when he should have been working.

Mark Strickland - who wasn't named, but would have been identifiable through his job title - was hugely upset by the claims, and when Kerrang refused to apologise, took to the courts:

The article, Filth Pigs, warned readers to "prepare to be disgusted" by the "sickest interview ever" with metalcore band Bullet For My Valentine.

It included a comment from drummer Moose about the Bridgend four-piece's tour manager on its German dates in December 2005 - a position held at the time by Mr Stickland although he was not named directly.

Asked if he had ever been caught "wanking", Moose was quoted as saying: "Never, I'm too good at it, but we caught our tour manager pleasuring himself in Germany two weeks ago.

"He was in a dressing room and we just walked in and I knew what he was doing instantly, you can't mistake that sound for anything else.

"We called him Stinky for the rest of the tour."

William McCormack, appearing for Mr. Strickland, told the court the incident had never happened:

"It attributed to him conduct which he will say is wholly inconsistent with him properly discharging his professional responsibilities.

"What's being said is that when he should have been at work, he engaged in activity which was lewd, sexual and, effectively, he could not control his sexual impulses."

Mr Stickland, of Mansfield Road, Nottingham, was a "fairly ordinary guy who takes a quiet pride in doing his job well and enjoys the respect and esteem of friends and acquaintances".

But, since publication, the court heard people had laughed at him and called him Stinky, and he felt awkward about ringing contacts for further work.

EMAP, who publish the magazine, countered that he wasn't named, and that the target audience of Kerrang (rather dismissively described as a "14-year-old thrash metal fan from Barrow-in-Furness" wouldn't have been able to pick up on such an obscure reference. (We're sure this was just a slip by EMAP's counsel Caroline Addy, as EMAP's advertising website suggests the median age of Kerrang's readership is actually 19.) EMAP also insist that the story is true:

"Moose discovered the claimant doing exactly that in the production room during the tour of Germany in December 2005 in the city of Bremen," she said.

Moose's story was supported by the fact what happened became a joke for his fellow band members and some of the crew.

Ah... so, if a bunch of people start to pick on someone, then it's proof that the heart of their allegations are true? Blimey, that must mean the BNP are right, then?

The case is expected to continue for a few days; EMAP haven't yet indicated they intend to pull Moose in to testify.

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