Not Forgot-Ten: The music

Popobit: Bobby Farrell

Bobby Farrell, the bloke from Boney M, has died.

Originally a teenage sailor from Aruba, Farrell made a career shift after arriving in Europe, becoming a DJ and then getting recruited in 1974 for Frank Farian's disco act. Back in a pre-Milli Vanilli age, it wasn't unusual for the face of a band to be someone other than the voice of the band, and so it was with Boney M, where Farrell was the trousers and dance for Farian's vocals.

His frontage role turned into an actual singing part, and he continued to perform after the M split in 1986. Even over the last decade, where he was beset with breathing problems, Farrell continued to work, and he had been on stage in St Petersberg shortly before he died.

Bobby Farrell was 61.

Not Forgot-Ten: December 2010

Prince Charles pretended to like JLS and Johnny Marr told David Cameron he couldn't like The Smiths. Mick Hucknall apologised the the "thousands" of women he'd had sex with, although most hadn't noticed it happening.

Was John Lennon killed by the CIA? No, it's bollocks - but a lack of any truth is no prevention against a Daily Mail splash. Was Debbie Harry picked up by Ted Bundy? No, it's bollocks and was debunked years ago - but a lack of truth is no handicap for a Gordon Smart splash.

Things looked grim for HMV, which even took to blaming snow in winter for its decline. Almost as if HMV don't understand the meaning of 'some things are inevitable', isn't it? And why wasn't the Ne-Yo album selling? Ne-Yo had some ideas, few of which involved admitting the album was a clunker.

Regaining independence: Mute. Axed: Sky Music.

The charts turn out to be stuffed with posh kids - although, to be fair, it does keep them out of banks where they were a bit of a nightmare. Matt Cardle celebrated winning the X Factor by revealing he has trouble maintaining an erection.

This month, one night Lady GaGa wore a bra, and then didn't the next night.

Wake up and smell the Zombie

A late entrant for the year's least-needed product: Rob Zombie branded coffee.

As far as I can tell, this isn't like with civet coffee where the beans have passed through his body before being ground. I hope.

Not Forgot-Ten: November 2010

Former supermanager Peter Jenner agreed that the music industry had got pricing wrong and Sony accepted that Amanda Ghost was not the right person to run a label. The BBC admitted that some secondary reports about Ethiopian Aid might have given a wrong impression about Band Aid. The long-expected Beatles digital domination was cancelled due to lack of interest.

eMusic swapped a whole slew of indies for a major label. Senior News Corp figures started muttering that maybe it's time for MySpace to go home. Ministry Of Sound got incredibly cross when BT turned out to have deleted data, simply because it ruined their fishing trip. O2 decided that all data on their network ought to be paid for twice.

Joe Jonas was caught with a knife and, less surprisingly, Willie Nelson was caught with some blow. Marilyn Manson became a heritage act. Gerard Way changed his hair shade a bit as an act of rebellion. A New Zealand Christian group took on black metal via Facebook and won. This is not the last battle.

Robbie Williams will be selling souveniers in the gift shop as you exit.

Many toes have yet to uncurl from David Cameron getting down with Roll Deep. After five years, George Bush thought of a comeback for Kanye West. Westlife offered warm words to Ireland during the financial crisis while James Blunt announced he saved us all from nuclear Armageddon.

A Metropolitan Police gunman jollied up an inquest into a man his team had executed by dropping song titles into his evidence. Oddly, Paul Stephenson is still in post.

Splitting: Throbbing Gristle. Retiring: Elton John. Battling: Skid Row.

Radio One downgraded their regional opt-outs to the middle of the night. Danny Baker announced he's ill and we'll only be getting the odd show from the Candyman for the near future.

This month, Lady GaGa bought a share in a restaurant, and promised not to use the meatlocker as a closet.

RandBobit: Teena Marie

Sorry to hear of the Boxing Day death of Teena Marie.

Perhaps the most surprising, but touching, eulogy came from Lenny Kravitz, who admits Marie was more than just an influence:

"I've never really talked much about it in depth, but I would not be here ... if it wasn't for Teena," he confessed. "She took me in when I was around 16. I was just a musician on the street. I was living from pillar to post. She took me in. She gave me a bedroom. She fed me. She cooked for me. She took care of me. She gave me instruments to play. She took me to all her recording sessions. She took me to concerts. She nurtured me and helped me to become who I am. She changed my life not only as an artist but as a person.

"Teena Marie was a treasure, was a genius – composer, arranger, singer, musician, unique [and] underrated by far," Kravitz continued. "I just want to send all my love and respect out to the family."

It says something about Marie's position as an aficionado's choice rather than a mainstream name that Twitter decided it must have been Aretha Franklin who had died.

But she was every bit as good, if not so much of a household name. Look:



It's being reported that Marie, who was 54, might have died from a grand mal seizure.

Not Forgot-Ten: October 2010

The recession took down The Liberace museum, and everything was hauled back into a closet. More worryingly, other great swathes of music history were reported to be crumbling into dust. On the other hand, irony-free copies of Lennon's Imagine guitar were being marketed. Can you put a figure on Michael Jackson's life? His dad has tried. You could buy Rihanna for a bag of Doritos, though. And, clearly short of a few bob, Madonna launched a chain of gyms.

The Daily Mail decided Katy Perry was fat, based on an apparent inability to write about women unless in terms of their weight. The perpetually confused Westboro Church - they're the ones who turn out to picket army funerals - adopted Ozzy Osborne as their saviour. Tiring of the Anti-Defamation League pretending to be outraged, Roger Waters re-edited his Wall film. Dave McCabe was ordered to pay the guy he attacked.

Moe Tucker came out in support of the Tea Party. The liking of Madonna was formally criminalised. Adam Lambert promised to not be too gay when he played Malaysia because he didn't want to make people uncomfortable.

We probably charged too much for music, admitted Rob Dickins, while the RIAA seem annoyed that Google wanted to charge money for doing a job. Welsh artists started to talk about dumping PRS in favour of a local body. Across the Channel, the French government was offering to buy everyone songs. The RIAA finally closed down Limewire, about two years after people stopped using it.

Returning: The Hit Parade. Reunited: Razorlight. Wrapping up: Trembling Blue Stars. Going solo: Crispian Mills. In development: Julian Cope the movie. Bankrupted: Omarion.

Nas doesn't think Def Jam is well run. Dido picked up a lawsuit from a spaceman. And Selfridges ripped off Frank Sidebottom.

The Cast Of Glee turned out to be bigger than The Beatles, thereby knocking Jesus into third place.

Resonance FM passive-aggressively axed Max Tundra. Commercial radio still complained that the BBC was cheating by not being as rubbish as they are.

This month, Lady GaGa turned out to have had a bit part in The Sopranos.

Not Forgot-Ten: September 2010

"Me! I'm the man with child in his eyes" cried Steve Blacknell, ruining a song once and for all. Once again, Morrissey managed to sound a bit racist. For a man without a prejudiced bone in his body, he's managed to have more racially-tinged unfortunate coincidences than Barry Evans' character in Mind Your Language. Tony Blair revealed that Bono was right and Red Wedge was misdirected. For his pains, he got to meet Jedward. Dorian Lynskey, meanwhile, was worrying that if we treat Bono as an overinflated landlord with dubious, fluctuating ethics, it might make it hard for other musicians to be like him. Yes, that's very much the idea.

Kanye West sort-of apologised to Taylor Swift, but still made it look like it was about him. Katy Perry feels validated as an artist by her second album, now that the clothes aren't getting between her and the audience. The Charlatans had another health trauma as Jon Brookes collapsed on stage. Nicky Wire still can't resist having a pop at any other band going; nor can Mani, but he apologised to Peter Hook for going to far.

Ha, ha, ha, that joke about murdering gays and their families and friends at random to punish Perez Hilton was hilarious, 50 Cent. You really are a wit. The terrible joke that was JLS condoms became chilling reality. Supposedly, somebody offered Busted a million quid to get back together. Charlie Simpson also turned down a related offer to buy Tower Bridge. Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson picked up a lucrative second job.

In a moment like something out a heritage fair, Pete Doherty was charged with possession. Wyclef Jean, having decided against running for president, took some sick leave instead. George Michael was somehow something to do with the Moors Murders according to a very confused Sun. We don't want to fling filth at our pop kids, said South Korea.

Radio 2 decided to drop Dale Winton to give new talent a chance, and hired Tony Blackburn. Radio 1 persisted with Chris Moyles, even after a half-hour of him moaning about a slightly delayed payment. Their colleagues in television were trying to create Top Of The Pops without anyone noticing it was Top Of The Pops.

Returning: Kingmaker. Quitting: Duff McKagan from Velvet Revolver. Reuniting: The Icicle Works.

Guy Garvey came up with a complicated quasi-Catholic approach to file sharing as France's Hadopi law kicked in. Although it didn't stop the coalition saying record companies had to pay for unlicensed filesharing investigations, Feargal Sharkey still found some money to schmooze the Liberal Democrats with. One of the companies doing very nicely out filesharing panics, ACS:Law, turned out to not be so hot on their own web security.

Format of the month: Qriocity, Sony's iTunes killer.

HMV's rather good 2009 gave way to a miserable 2010, as it ran out of rivals to have close down and make it look good. Is indie in peril? Depends on what magazine you read, it turns out.

This month, Lady GaGa was marketing herself as a halloween costume.

So, what did prompt Robbie Williams to bury the hatchet with Take That?

Earnings from his company, 2006: £32million
Earnings from his company, 2009: £269,000

The Mail On Sunday does concede this ignores his earnings from elsewhere, but since those are tied to his celebrity and the celebrity emanates from musical popularity, his farm was looking very worked-out:

Williams’ music publishing business, Farrell Music, recorded losses of £536,000, while another of his companies, Little Youth, posted a loss of £65,000. Only the firm Robbiewilliams.com recorded a healthy profit of £400,000.

He wasn't about to need food stamps, but there's nothing like a spot of tailgating on Take That to boost earnings potential, eh?

Not Forgot-Ten: August 2010

Elton John went to play a gig for enormous homophobe Rush Limbaugh. Wyclef's run at the Haitian presidency wasn't even winning support from the other Fugees. Whoever was making money out of Susan Boyle, it didn't look like it was Susan Boyle. Vegas waved cash and suggested that Madonna bow to the inevitable. John Lydon signed off on a Sex Pistols perfume.

HBO decided Phil Collins looked like a serial killer. Deadmau5 looked like he might be killed by his own outfit. Jack White sounded like he might kill his own audience.

We're all in this together: even The Beckhams were cutting back. EMI discovered a new misery, with its pension pot nearly empty. Poor sales of the Scissor Sisters album? Why, it must have been the sleeve, claim the band. Feeder decided to start playing Buck Rogers again, but not because it's their only song or anything.

Liverpool City Council's promised saving of Ringo's old house turned out not to be kept. But they are Liberal Democrats, so what do you expect? Bez didn't keep his promises, either, and so ended up in prison. N-Dubz' drummer blamed the system for his sexually assaulting women.

Yoko Ono told people to not hold their breath if they were hoping to see The Beatles on iTunes. The RIAA and IFPI issued takedowns claiming to be Radiohead. Sticking to its promise to do everything for its members, the PRS pissed away some of their money on a survey about cartoons. Paul McGuinness had a few ideas about saving the music industry, by which he meant the old, broken version of it.

Returning: Republica. Renamed: Comes With Music.

Radio One hailed Annie Nightingale's forty year survival at the station. A vicar hailed Black Sabbath.

Format of the month: Music Anywhere, a bemusing streaming service.

This month, Lady GaGa was being compared to a fart joke by Katy Perry.

Not Forgot-Ten: July 2010

We finally discovered how to shut the Kings Of Leon up. You just get a pigeon to poop in Jared's mouth. Elsewhere, Billy Corgan was falling over on stage.

Pete Wentz - who must be, what, 30 or 40 years old - formed a band called Bl4ck C4rds. I'm not certain, but I'm guessing the band logo will be a skull. George Galloway started work on a Dusty Springfield musical. Yes. John Lydon was reduced to starting a spat with Duffy and Prince announced the internet was finished. Plastic Bertrand was in court over if he was real, or just a fake Plastic.

Having spent the last few years jacking up prices, Festival Republic objected to the extra VAT on 2011 tickets. Lilith Fair discovered that you can leave many seats empty if you ask ridiculous sums of money for them. Lattitude's atmosphere was ruined by rapes in the campsite, and Germany's Love Parade came to a horrible end.

Island Records very publicly fumed that their new Tom Jones album was a bit rubbish. Korn revealed just what a painful job churning a Korn album out is. Pete Muprhy and Brendan Perry's supergoth tour ended in streaming mascara eyes before a single date got played. Oh, by the way: Katie Melua's an alien.

The RIAA decided that it should start suing makers of porn films that used music without permission. This was not an excuse to spend all day at RIAA towers watching porn. The Grammys decided to allow previous years winners to still be Best Newcomers in the future.

Retiring: Torry from The Donnas. Not reforming: The Darkness. Returning: Robbie Williams to Take That. Reforming: Ace Of Base. Rejected: Girls Can't Catch. Replaced: Ollie Los Campesinos.

Cheryl Cole caught Malaria, Jennifer Lopez caught the wrath of Greek Cypriots and the police caught George Michael with his car wedged in the side of a Snappy Snaps. The woman on the cover of Vampire Weekend's Contra demanded some money. And The Sun forced Joe McElderry to come out and smile while they did it.

Use a wheelchair? Live in Portsmouth? Might want to steer clear of HMV.

Had you noticed Fran Healy had been quiet? He's been working on a solo album, it turned out. Harvey Goldsmith insisted what we needed were more Muses.

As the campaign to save 6Music succeeded, Dunstable people kicked off a campaign to try and stop Global ripping out their Heart. Radio One waved goodbye to Mary Anne Hobgoblin. And a month after closing it, the NME announced a relaunch of NME Radio.

This month, Lady GaGa reneged on a promise to buy everyone pizza.