Where is music shared? Not so much online, it turns out

Here's an interesting little chart that was leaked to TorrentFreak. It's from the NPD survey into Digital Music from the end of last year, and forms part of the RIAA's campaign for a "six strikes" rule in the US:

What you'll spot about this is that the unpaid acquisition of digital music, far from being an internet-centred phenomenon, actually takes place in the physical realm. All these years on from Hope Taping Is Killing Music, and most of the time tracks change hands without cash flowing in the opposite direction, it's still done face to face.

The sheer amount of musician's money the RIAA is pouring into lobbying for control of the net, and the enormous dents to our information rights they're calling for, and they're not even worrying about their bigger challenge.

Of course, a cynic might think that because physical swapping is even harder to do anything about, and attracts less glittery opportunities for RIAA people to meet-and-greet in Washington (always a good chance for them to put out feelers for their next jobs), that might be why we hear a lot less about hard drive swapping. But it couldn't be that, could it?

This week just gone

The most-read stories from July 2012 have been:

1. The Bloc Festival collapses in chaos
2. Plan B accidentally wears a Skrewdriver tshirt for Shortlist
3. Chris Moyles says he's going
4. Susan Boyle gets a prize for contributions to padding out Simon Cowell's programmes
5. Springsteen, McCartney sent home to bed early
6. That G4S corporate theme song in full
7. LiveNation explain why they pulled the plug on the Boss
8. Gordon Smart suggests Tulisa stop pursuing those who made the sex tape public
9. Rounder Records to close
10. What The Pop Papers Say: NME goes to Stone Roses

These were flung out in a hope to miss the oncoming Olympics juggernaut:


Laetitia Sadier - Silencio

Download Silencio



Micachu & The Shapes - Never

Download Never



Purity Ring - Shrines

Download Shrines



Passion Pit - Gossamer

Download Gossamer



Claudia Brucken - This Happened



The Gaslight Anthem- Handwritten

Download Handwritten

Offloading Parlophone

As Universal continue to try throwing things out the basket to see if their EMI takeover can get lift-off, the latest plan is to try and flog Parlophone to BMG.

Yes, yes, BMG had stopped being in the recorded music business when it withdrew from what is now Sony alone, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be interested in getting back into such a vibrant, profit-loaded sector, right?

There is a slight problem with the plan, thought. The idea is to convince that the EU that the embiggened Universal wouldn't control too much of the market for the biggest selling acts, but, says MediaGuardian:

One source with knowledge of the situation said that any potential sale of Parlophone, one of EMI's most famous labels, would include Universal "cherry picking" key artists to keep such as the Beatles and, potentially, Coldplay.

It's like those hoarding programmes where the guy agrees to get rid of his enormous collection of plastic horses, only to get to the shop and announce that he's keeping all the dappled ones.

Olympics: So does that make the Arctic Monkeys the biggest band in the world for the next few days?

I'm assuming that Danny Boyle was handed the job with some bits filled in - there had to be the speeches, there had to be the flame, McCartney would turn up and not quite hit all the notes on Hey Jude, but beyond that, it's all up for grabs.

Anything that upsets The Modern Review's Toby Young has to be a good thing, surely, and it's perfectly possible to harbour doubts about the large sums of cash being spunked away on an event, while allowing that at least there's something to show for the money.

There were problems at either end, of course the historical nonsense of Industrial Revolutions and the favouring of Cristabel over Sylvia Pankhurst at the start; the soundtrack going "Match Of The Day goals package" during the procession of athletes. And two countdowns seemed to be over-egging it a little.

But from the bit where the Lloyd-Webber variation Paginini kicked in as the camera flew past The London Studios, you could taste a bit of wit and a big wink coming through. It's hard to argue with an event where the Queen gets to hear Fuck Buttons.

(The NME, by the way, has a rather useful playlist of all the music from the main part of the ceremony.)

Enola Gay sticks out like a sore thumb, doesn't it? After the ill-judgement of a song about one attending nation dropping a nuclear weapon on another, it was a relief to have The Jam kicking in with a song about being mugged in an Underground station to welcome visitors to our capital.

I can't help wondering, though, if every sporting opening ceremony actually makes as much sense to the home audience - if, while the rest of the world four years ago was going 'bouncing dancing boxes? what?', in China people were bouncing up and down on their seats going "look! they've included a bit from The Grumpy Cubes Next Door!"

It shouldn't overshadow the disgusting treatment of Critical Mass last night, although it has; it hasn't magicked away the Zil Lanes, or the involvement of Dow Chemical, or the large sums of money given to G4S simply to stand aside and let the troops in. But if you take it on its own, for what it was - a massive bit of theatre which included a celebration of socialised healthcare - it was pretty damn good.

Gordon in the morning: Worried for Tulisa

Gordon Smart picks up the keyboard this morning to paint a worrying picture of Tulisa's finances:

TULISA will have to watch her pennies – she faces paying more than £100,000 in legal bills for suing over her leaked sex tape.

The X Factor star has to foot the bill because the people she accused of releasing the clip don’t have that kind of wedge.

Gordon's worried that Tulisa is spending a lot of cash on "top flight lawyers" but might only end up with "a moral victory".

Why, it's almost as if he's keen to try and put a halt to Tulisa's continued pursuit of the people who put the sex tape online, and then attempted to draw an audience to it. But, of course, if Tulisa stopped now we might not get to hear the interesting story of how the tape got noticed by newspapers. I'm sure Gordon wouldn't want us to miss out on that.

Mind you, if the idea is to shake Tulisa by laying out the costs of justice...

..you might want to be a bit more careful with the numbers. More than one hundred pounds, eh?

Bookmarks: Chris Moyles

A counterweight to the prevailing view of Chris Moyles and daytime Radio One, from the surprising corner of Chris TT writing in the Morning Star:

I'm surrounded by the sort of music makers for whom play on daytime Radio 1 is a rare occurrence. For some of us it's a major ambition to cross into that kind of mainstream marketplace, while for others it's of no interest as we ply our trade entirely on specialist shows or eschew pop radio altogether.

Either way we should be the last people undervaluing what these shows do, because we ought to understand how easy it is to slip up in live work and how exhausting that kind of extended performance is.

That Joke isn't coming any more: Killing Joke axe tour

There's a tour in September which brings together The Mission, The Cult and Killing Joke. Or at least, there's supposed to be. The whole thing is looking a bit sick now.

First, as Slicing Up Eyeballs reports, the whole thing downsized to smaller venues as organisers discovered the supply of ageing Goths isn't as large as they'd first thought.

Now, it looks like Killing Joke have quit the tour, although not yet officially:

[A] scathing note about the tour and, specifically, The Cult (“All their songs suck!”), purportedly written by Jaz Coleman, was posted then removed from the band’s Facebook page.

In part, that note read: “Frankly, playing at a gig with The Cult never appealed to me in the first place. The only reason we allowed ourselves to be talked into it was to blow both bands off the stage and to steal their respective audiences. As the concert has been downgraded to a venue that we have recently headlined (and sold out) it doesn’t make sense.”

Really, Jaz? You've agreed to do a tour simply to pick up a few fans from The Mission? Fans who have clung doggedly to The Mission through thick and - let's be frank - an awful, awful lot of thin? Is anyone else thinking of that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine tries to turn the guy?

Has Jaz stopped to think that if last time his band sold out all the tickets, and yet even with addition of two other bands the tour can't even do a decent stab at filling out a larger venue, there's a possibility that the sell-out audience for Killing Joke left the venue going "I'm never going to see them again"? Because it doesn't sound like there was much demand for a second go, does it?

Gordon in the morning: Listening to Paul McCartney

With people from News International being charged with illegal interception of Paul McCartney's telephone messages yesterday, how amusing that Gordon Smart has nabbed a front page with details of a conversation between Macca and someone else.

This time, though, the discussion has been lifted from Shortlist. (Yes, the UK's biggest-selling paid-for newspaper is offering its readers a lead story today copied from a giveaway magazine; unless the FT has copied its front page direct from the MK Citizen, I can't think of a worse bargain.)

The paper flashes this as an 'exclusive', by the way. If you see Gordon trying to shove every copy of Shortlist down his trousers to try and justify that claim of exclusivity, you'll know why.

McCartney has a beef that David Beckham isn't going to be playing for Team GB in the Olympics:

Macca, 70, who will top the showbiz bill at the curtain-raiser, told Shortlist magazine: “It would’ve been great for him to lead out our British football team.

"But some person somewhere said, ‘So-and-so’s playing better.’ Like it matters.”

I'm not a football fan, but isn't 'someone being better at playing the game' quite important?

That might explain how Ringo managed to stay the drummer in The Beatles:
- 'ey, Paul, d'you think we should get the best possible drummer?'
- 'No, let's not'

Given that this is just an old man moaning to a different magazine, and he clearly admits that choosing Beckham would make the team worse, Gordon Smart and story co-author Nick Parker wouldn't embarrass themselves, and us, and McCartney, and Beckham by actually suggesting to Team GB that Macca should be picking the team, would they?

Last night a Team GB source said former England hero Pearce would NOT be moved — and that Macca should Let It Be.

It looks like they did.

Kate Moss is not a great songwriter after all

Remember when Kate Moss was hanging out with Pete Doherty? Of course you do. What you might have forgotten was at the time Pete was more-or-less in a band called Babyshambles who put out an album. It's more than likely Pete doesn't remember. I suspect he doesn't remember very much about those days.

Kate Moss had a writer's credit on three of the tracks, including for Baddie's Boogie. Mysteriously, though, that credit has subsequently disappeared.

I say "mysteriously". There isn't actually a mystery; turned out a huge chunk of the lyric turns out to be virtually identical to a line from Nick Toczek's Stiff With A Quiff.

It's taken five years, but he's finally got a payment for the infringement from Doherty's team. Chrysalis Music describes this as being settled "amicably" - presumably it was so amicable they dragged it out for five years because they were just enjoying everyone's company so much.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Gordon in the morning: One Direction work their aisles

Yesterday, One Direction had a go at serving food and drink on a British Airways flight.

It was partly for charity - in aid of Comic Relief - but mainly "a little glimpse of the future, if they're lucky".

Danny out the Script is now the second-most-famous person on The Voice

Trouble at The Voice, with both Jessie J and Tom Jones finding better things to do with their time instead of joining the next series.

Jessie J is desperately trying to arrange a tour so she has an excuse when the BBC pop round with an invite, while Tom Jones is apparently unable to think of any more anecdotes mentioning Elvis, so really can't see the point.

"I did think I had a tale left about meeting Marvin Gaye" explained Tom, "but then I remembered that I'd used it on the second programme. And, to be frank, the sort of new anecdote I was minting on this show - 'I once had a Nespresso with Danny out the Script' - weren't helping."

Will I Am will almost certainly come back, providing he's allowed to bounce up and down. Mr Am added: "And to go on a train. I wanna go on a train. And have ice cream. Oh - look, there's a pony."

Danny from The Script isn't yet sure he'll be coming back. A friend said "he realises last time he was lucky nobody realised he was only there to drop off a parcel; he doesn't reckon he'd be that jammy twice."

N-Dubz: Can we hang on until 2014?

You remember how we were told we'd be doing the Olympics, and then there was a long wait, and now there's an Olympics?

That's what's going to happen with N-Dubz:

Fazer is planning to return to N-Dubz in 2014 after releasing his debut solo album and building up his Sky's The Limit production company.

I think it's sweet that Fazer thinks he's the one of N-Dubz who will decide when, or if, they start putting records out again. It's like hearing the car plotting when the next road trip will be.

Gordon in the morning: People watching

Gordon reports from GAY this morning:

LAWSON made themselves as useful as The Village People during their gig at London’s G-A-Y club night on Saturday.

The ladband got kitted out in security bibs and mucked in by collecting tickets, mixing drinks and frisking punters.

Eh? Making themselves as useful as the Village People? Is Gordon confusing The Village People with The Wombles?

The teaser text tries to make more sense of the Village People comparison:

Boyband Lawson are the only Village in the G-A-Y

LADS take a turn as the YMCA icons, even wearing dayglo bibs, during their gig at the famous London club night

Ah, yes. You can see the similarities:

This is Lawson from Saturday night...

... and this is The Village People.

It might be the other way round, it's virtually impossible to tell the difference.

Plan B is saying sorry

Plan B has issued something approaching an apology for his Skrewdriver tshirt.

The explanation of the genesis of the shirt - basically, he copied it from Gavin Watson's book Skins without bothering to ask exactly what it was he was copying - is in full on the Quietus, but B admits his error:

"The minute I found out what the words on the t-shirt meant I was angry with myself for not questioning them. The t-shirt is not official nor is it on sale anywhere. It was of my own doing and therefore it is my mistake, but that is all it is."

Earlier, though, he explains why he used the imagery in the first place:

I asked [Gavin Watson] if I could print shots from his book on to t-shirts. I made a number of these t-shirts. Gavin's photos are relevant to me because they represent the demonised youth of the past. Just like my generation of young people are demonised in the media to all be hoodie wearing thugs and chavs so were the skinheads in the 80's.

"Not all of them were racist but because some of them were, the rest were all tarred with the same brush. That is why I feel the images of the skinheads represented in Gavin's work are relevant to me and this generation.

I guess this proves that if you're going to play about with right-wing politics to make some sort of point, you need to be bloody certain you know what you're doing.

It's a fair point that not all skins were racists, but B is fundamentally confused if he thinks that being a skinhead in the 1980s is on a par with wearing a hoodie in the earlier 20th century. There was a distinct political outlook which had chosen the skin look as part of the badge of belonging, but the world was smart enough to know that not every skinhead was a fascist; those that were demonised were attacked for their politics, not for their cropped hairstyle - and people who felt intimidated by skinheads usually were actually being intimidated by far-right skinheads at the time.

Hoodies, though, aren't the mark of a violent, fascist subculture - the demonising of the hoodie wearer and the chav is not calling people for what they believe (or even what some people who dress like them believe) but because of who they are.

In short, then, Plan B tried a well-meaning but poorly though-through comparison, and got his fingers burned. But then, if Plan B really knew anything about the politics of skinheads, he'd have spotted Skrewdriver on his chest from the off.

The question does remain, though: if he knew that there were racist skinheads, wasn't it a bit lax to print up a t-shirt and wear it for a front cover magazine shoot when he admits he didn't know what the phrase was? Google offers over three quarter of a million responses to the word - any one of them would have flagged the folly in an instant.

Plan B chest mystery

An interesting piece over on The Quietus, pointing out the surprising tshirt Plan B is currently wearing on the front of Shortlist this week:

Yes, that's a Skrewdriver tshirt.

Yes, the skinhead Nazi Skrewdriver.

It's unclear why Plan B is wearing something like that - I don't think it's likely that he's a secret Nazi using a tshirt to send a hidden message to a sleeping bunch of racists.

It's possible he just thought it was cool, and pulled it on without thinking. Which is fantastically disappointing.

This week just gone

The most-read stories from across No Rock And Roll Fun so far this month:

1. Tatu puzzled that people assume they're gay
2. Bloc festival dissolves in chaos
3. The last Mark and Lard in full
4. The Sun promotes the Tulisa sex tape
5. Chris Moyles announces the end
6. Kate Moss reduced to hanging out with one of N-Dubz
7. Susan Boyle gets a doctorate for... um... winning a game show?
8. Silence, Sprinsteen: London pulls the plug
9. The G4S corporate song. It's vaguely charitable.
10. LiveNation: We cut Bruce for your safety

It was a quiet week for releases:


The Be Good Tanyas - Collection

Download Collection



Susanna Hoffs - Someday

Download Someday



Blancmange - The Very Best Of

Download a slightly different best of

Universal get more time

As the Universal takeover of EMI gets caught up in regulators' worries about monopoly, Citibank have offered Vivendi longer to complete the deal.

The cash was supposed to have changed hands by September; now, to give time for the company to work out how to offload enough parts to keep everyone happy.

Hilariously, Richard Branson is talking about buying back Virgin:

"Richard Branson and Virgin have been assessing how to get back into recorded music business for many years," said a spokesman for Virgin Group. "The potential disposal of Virgin Records by Universal Music offers a wonderful opportunity to recreate a dynamic independent label in the market."

For many years? He can't have been assessing how to get back into music for more than five years, as up until 2007 Branson was part-owner of V2. Which was, erm, sold to Universal.

(It's worth noting that when Branson founded V2, he only owned 5% of it; the rest was held by Morgan Stanley. I know, imagine a record label mostly owned by a bank. Crazy, huh?)

While it might be fun for Richard to buy back Virgin, the failure of V2 should be evidence enough that he doesn't have a magic touch. And V2 was founded in 1996, when the music business still bore a superficial resemblance to the one in which Branson thrived in the early days of Virgin. And while the Virgin Group had a retail network.

However much people might want to believe that Beardie back at Virgin Records is a Leno-returns-to-Tonight story, it's much more likely to be akin to that awkward couple of episodes where Bet Lynch went back to Corrie, look confused and was swiftly written out again.

Gordon in the morning: May the Olympics never end

No, seriously, I want the Olympic games to run forever. Without a finish; without the need to have a closing ceremony.

Because Beady sodding Eye have been booked to do an Oasis cover just before the mayor of Rio gets the big flag.

Gordon in the morning: Barlow garlands

Gordon is announcing this morning that Gary Barlow is being nominated for a Music Industry Trusts Award.

Hmm. Really? The Music Industry Trusts is going to give its prize to someone who has been accused of using music industry investments as a way to avoid paying their fair share of tax.

Are they sure that's such a good idea?

At a time when, say, music education in schools is being cut back couldn't the Music Industry Trusts find someone who isn't averse to helping out by not trying to avoid the taxes that fund services like that?

I don't often say this, but well done to Gordon Smart for revealing this scandal in the making. (I don't think that's what he thought he was doing, obviously.)

Bikini Kill: New thrill

This year, it's twenty-five years since Bikini Kill started.

How do you mark an occasion like that? Turns out by launching a record label of the same name:

As our 25th anniversary approaches, Bikini Kill has decided to start our own record label called Bikini Kill Records. The Bikini Kill back catalog is currently available digitally via bikinikill.com, eMusic & iTunes. The Frumpies and Casual Dots are also up for sale now. We are working towards reissuing the physical Bikini Kill records one at a time. There are brand new Bikini Kill T Shirts available from bikinikill.com at this time with more merch to come in the near future.

Bikini Kill's Self-Titled EP will come out in the fall of 2012 to commemorate the 20 year anniversary of its original release. We also plan to re-release our original demo tape, which contains songs that were previously unavailable and/or hard to find on vinyl & CD. We are currently going through our archive, which include photographs, practice tapes, live recordings, unreleased songs, films, video, writing, interviews, zines and flyers that we intend to feature on future releases and document on our website. Please subscribe to our newsletter to receive news about our progress.

Best. Jubilee. Ever.

Meat Loaf still at war with his double

Four years ago, Meat Loaf impersonator Dean Torkington was targeted by Meat Loaf himself. Back then, it was mainly down to the painting on the side of Dean's motor home.

They're still at war, though:

A Meat Loaf tribute artist from Lancashire is fighting a $100,000 (£64,000) writ from the US rock star, who accuses him of being a “cybersquatter and online imposter”.

Dean Torkington, 49, from Burnley, Lancashire, has used the MeatLoaf.org domain name since 2000. Torkington, who has performed his show To Hell And Back: (A Tribute to Meatloaf) for 16 years, argues that since he has shed 11 stone in the last two years, he could no longer be considered a “dead ringer” for the well-upholstered rocker.

Yes, that's right - the man who made his name pretending to be Meat Loaf is now too grand to be Meat Loaf. Or not grande enough:

“To be honest, losing all the weight wasn’t good for a Meat Loaf tribute act anyway. His pursuit of me through the courts has left me thinking differently about him. I do include some of his music in the show but I see it more as a tribute to the songs rather than the man.”

Dean suggests that, perhaps, his original material has sparked jealousy:

Torkington believes that his own original album, The Bat Strikes Back, angered Meat Loaf and provoked the writ . He asks: “Could the reason be it got a better review than Bat Out Of Hell 3 in Classic Rock Magazine?”

I don't think anyone of us can claim to know what goes on in Meat Loaf's mind, but I'm prepared to guess that, no, that couldn't be the reason.

According to The Independent:

Torkington met Meat Loaf backstage after a Liverpool concert in 2003 and claims the star asked him to hand over the domain name for £1,300. He declined.

.

Hmm. Let's look back at the Lancashire Evening Post in 2008:

He said the problem first surfaced last year when he was sat in the front row of a Meat Loaf concert in Liverpool when a man dressed in black handed him a note saying that the American singer wanted to meet him backstage.
[...]
"Then Meat Loaf's manager questioned me about using the website domain that I have. I told him that I would change the van but there was no way they were taking my website as I have had it for 15 years and it is really popular.

So either this happened "last year" from 2008, which would be 2007, or else in 2003. The story is all a bit confused, isn't it?

Gordon in the morning: Bad call

There's a photo been released by Bliss magazine of Little Mix bouncing about, styled after a girl's night in. Gordon seems a bit obsessed by it, though:

BLONDE X Factor winner poses with phone as she reveals girlband are still in touch with Tulisa
[...]
WONDER how long the other Little Mix girls waited before they told Perrie Edwards she’s holding a telephone and not a microphone?

Obviously, for the column which gave us Piers Morgan, Andy Coulson et al, misuse of the telephone is something of an expert subject, but is it really such an odd pose that it's worth mentioning not just as the intro, but also the teaser for the story?

And how come Gordon either doesn't seem to have noticed or care that, er, one of them appears to be singing into a lollipop.

Countryobit: Kitty Wells

Kitty Wells, country legend, has died. She was 92.

Amazingly, Kitty nearly retired in 1952.

Then Hank Thompson recorded this:

And JD Miller wrote a response song, which Kitty was persuaded to record. That would be this:

She put retirement off for another 48 years after that.

UPDATE: Corrected to the right Hank.

Gordon in the morning: He hit me, and it felt like a crossover hit

Gordon interviews Maroon 5's Adam Levine this morning. Do you know what makes Levine cross?

I’m of the belief that because our culture has changed so much, people don’t find that exclusivity very important any more, which I love because I hate it.

People who tell me they only like one kind of music, I want to punch them in the face.

Violence is never the answer, although if people tell you they only like one kind of music, and it's Maroon 5, you might struggle to not make an exception.

The Sun clearly realises that Levine's dull in his own right, as most of the page reporting the interview is given over to three massive photos of Behati Prinsloo in her pants. You wonder if they'd even have bothered to talk to him if he didn't provide an excuse for lingerie pictures.

Progobit: Jon Lord

Jon Lord, keyboardist with Deep Purple, has died.

There's a statement on his website:

It is with deep sadness we announce the passing of Jon Lord, who suffered a fatal pulmonary embolism today, Monday 16th July at the London Clinic, after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. Jon was surrounded by his loving family.

Jon Lord, the legendary keyboard player with Deep Purple co-wrote many of the bands legendary songs including Smoke On The Water and played with many bands and musicians throughout his career.

Best known for his Orchestral work Concerto for Group & Orchestra first performed at Royal Albert Hall with Deep Purple and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra in 1969 and conducted by the renowned Malcolm Arnold, a feat repeated in 1999 when it was again performed at the Royal Albert Hall by the London Symphony Orchestra and Deep Purple.

Jon’s solo work was universally acclaimed when he eventually retired from Deep Purple in 2002.

Jon passes from Darkness to Light.

For a band whose very name created the aura of an Upper Common Room beard-stroking, their origins were deeply rooted in manufactured novelty pop. Lord came together with Nick Simper after The Flowerpot Men had a hit with Lets Go To San Francisco, and their label Deram needed a band to go out and play it. It's a bit like Mumford And Sons starting out as some of the Sugababes.

Jon Lord was 71.

LiveNation explains that Springsteen axe was for public safety

LiveNation has offered an explanation for why the Springsteen gig was cut short:

"It was unfortunate that the three hour plus performance by Bruce Springsteen was stopped right at the very end but the curfew is laid down by the authorities in the interest of the public's health and safety. Road closures around Hyde Park are put in place at specific times to make sure everyone can exit the area in safety."

You've got to love the "three hour plus" bit there - you can almost hear the sighing of "how much more did you want?" - but the suggestion that letting them get to the end of Twist And Shout would have meant the road safety measures would have been torn down seems a little unlikely.

Presumably the real reason would have been fines from Westminster City Council?

Gordon in the morning: What I did on my holidays

Today's Bizarre resembles some sort of shoddy MySpace page, as Gordon files some blurry photos of him hanging out backstage with Noel Gallagher:

Noel Gallagher and showbiz mates have all-night tear-up at Benicassim

The fact that Smart appears in all the photos on the page makes it clear that he's seeing himself as one of those "showbiz mates".

Oh, yes. You're not, I think, meant to be reading the phrase "showbiz mates" in a Simon Bates voice - I think it's meant to be serious.

Although Gordon was clearly there, for some reason he seems to have missed any of the stories - such as they are - as he relies on a strange, anonymous source:

A source backstage said: “Noel was on top form — it was his first chance to have a night out with the Roses.

“Ian Brown was doing magic tricks for the lads, including bandmate Mani.

“Noel was going to knock Dizzee’s baseball cap off to make his point.

“It was quite a collection of hardened drinkers — Buzzcocks’ Steve Diggle is a punk legend.”

Clearly, the "source backstage" was Smart, but he must have been too embarrassed to attribute a quote about someone almost pinching someone's cap to himself.

Far-right French party to sue Madonna

A couple of weeks ago, the Front National threatened to sue Madonna if she kept superimposing a swastika over the face of Marine Le Pen. Presumably they're such strict French nationalists they're appalled at the suggestion they'd need to import a symbol from another country.

Now, they're going to go ahead and sue:

[National Front vice-president Florian] Philippot said: "This is just another provocation in Madonna's world tour so that people will talk about her."

Well, thank god you didn't fall into that trap and draw attention to her, eh, Mr. Philippot?

"Marine Le Pen will defend not only her own honour but her supporters and the millions of National Front voters."

At this stage it's unclear if Madonna was also responsible for the Front National manifesto for the French elections appearing with Nazi-style symbolism all over it.

London shows why it's the perfect place to hold the Olympics

Obviously, there has to be some sort of compromise with gigs and noise levels. But pulling the plug on a McCartney/Springsteen hook-up in Hyde Park when it appeared to only have a minute or two left to run seems a bit extreme.

Still, the 'London pulls power on gig' cock-up story will help take some of the attention off the 'London security shambles' story for a while.

Yes, rules are rules, even for people who've sold a lot of records, but surely, if you don't feel you can let an event run past its scheduled end, you don't invite Bruce Springsteen? The man's live music overruns so badly he can't parp his car horn without it turning into a forty-minute jam.

The world could have been waking up to positive stories about the astonishing collaboration in Hyde Park last night; instead it's more knocking copy. Well done, everybody. Well done.

This week just gone

The most-read 2012 stories in the first half of the year were:

1. Noel Gallagher yearns for the days of Thatcher
2. The Sun draws attention to the Tulisa sex tape
3. MySpace is resurgent... kinda
4. Brits 2012 liveblog
5. Mick Jagger loves Boris Johnson
6. Frank Skinner thinks the Brits aren't as good as they were in the past. You know, when he presented them.
7. Spotify believe they're about to kill iTunes
8. Kanye West reckons he could have been an architect
9. Whitney Houston: was she really a great singer?
10. Kerrang Awards 2012: The shortlist


These were the interesting releases:


Shrag - Canines

Download Canines



Dirty Projectors - Swing Lo Magellan

Download Swing Lo Magellan



Kathryn Roberts & Sean Lakeman - Hidden People

Download Hidden People



Duke Special - Oh, Pioneer

Download Oh Pioneer



Bananarama - 30 Years Of Bananananarama

Download 30 Years