Africa politely asks Bono to tone it down

Bono turned up at the Technology, Entertainment, Design Conference in Arusha. But if he was expecting to be received as a hero, he got something of a surprise, as journalist Jennifer Brea reports:

These speakers were selected to support a thesis, painfully obvious but somehow radical in this age: Africa won't be "saved" by aid, but by the ingenuity and determination of its own people.

Andrew Mwenda, an outspoken Ugandan journalist who was jailed last year for criticizing President Museveni, lambasted the Western world's "international cocktail of good intentions" for robbing Africa of its future. After all, what country has ever gotten rich from aid? What Africa needs is investment.

Near the front of the darkened auditorium a white man with orange sunglasses stood to object. It was Bono! The audience (myself included), exuberant in the presence of celebrity, craned their necks to catch a glimpse. Aid saved Ireland from the potato famine, Bono declared.

Hmm. Not sure I'd have invoked the Potato Famine, where starving Irish watched their crops disappearing overseas, where the famine was mainly a result of the rich seeing the poor overseas as being inferior, and well-meaning attempts to 'help' by outsiders made the problem worse, Bono.

In a conference where the main focus was on how the West sees Africa as a problem for it to be solved, rather than a place where people can find their own solutions, Bono hadn't got off to a great start:

George Ayittey, author of Africa Unchained, a wildly popular book which argues Africa's problems should be solved by Africans, was bumped from his scheduled spot so that Bono could play a prerecorded greeting from German chancellor Angela Merkel on the importance of honoring aid commitments to Africa.

Even the supplying of mosquito nets which Bono argued for in the US Congress isn't what Africans themselves would have asked for:

Kenyan economist James Shikwati, who in advance of the 2005 G8 summit in Gleneagles famously asked rich nations, "for God's sake, please just stop" giving Africa aid, thinks even misery is an opportunity.

We can fight malaria by distributing free mosquito nets, which may cost $10-$60 each by the time you get them down often impassable dirt roads. Or, as Shikwati suggests, we can train locals how to operate a business spraying homes with an insecticide that will keep them mosquito-free for six months at about $2 a family.

We can spend billions importing medication, or you can invest in local farms that grow the Artemisinin, a Chinese herb with potent anti-malarial properties, and the factories that process it.

We can continue the endless cycle of need and dependency, or you can create jobs, develop indigenous capacity, and build a sustainable future.

Bono's desperate attempts to be loved only made things worse:

After his impassioned defense of aid, an African man in the audience asked Bono, "Where do you place the African person as a thinker, a creator of wealth?"

[...]

Visibly wounded by the question, confused how anyone could misinterpret his good intentions, Bono, like the proverbial white man with black friends, set out to prove how down he is with the black man.

Africans are the "most regal people on earth" and music is their DNA, he told the room of mostly doctors, engineers, and businessmen. He then began singing a traditional Irish dirge to show us how Celtic music has Coptic roots, and so is fundamentally African. I wasn't the only one giggling in the back row.

Bono, in his awkward defense of his "Africa credo," also represents our fundamental failure to listen.

The next time Bono pops up claiming to speak for Africa, wave your Red American Express card at him and ask on whose authority?

[Thanks to Michael M for the link]

Live Earth's first saving: 5000 seats reclaimed

LiveNation have apparently found an extra 5000 seats for the Wembley leg of Live Earth, which - rather than distributing through a lottery system - they've started flogging online. So, nice to the doctrine of giving everyone a fair chance to be there has now been abandoned in favour of "rush! rush!"

Gibson says 'vote for climate change'

John Gibson - who plays a newsreader in Fox's long-running drama set in a repressive right-wing future, Fox News Channel - is fuming that NBC is broadcasting Live Earth. Not because he hates Genesis - actually, we rather imagine that Gibson believes in the literal truth of Genesis - but because he believes it's political bias in an election year. Even although it's not an election year, and Al Gore isn't running for office:

In a commentary Gibson asks whether NBC's telecast doesn't "constitute a political contribution of free airtime? Do the people who want the return of the Fairness Doctrine think NBC should be forced to give equal time to me and let me argue against Al Gore? I don't think so."

Well, to be honest, John, if you think you should be given eight hours of airtime to argue that the climate isn't changing and that we need to burn more resources, perhaps you should go ahead and organise a concert.

Still, its good news for Al Gore - most of the criticism of the event so far has been coming from the left; people who know the world is changing but think this isn't the answer. It's nice that at last there's someone who it is easier to argue against.

Beth Ditto: biphobic or blinkered?

We're not actually sure if Beth Ditto is biphobic, or if she just hasn't quite got the capacity to understand what "bisexuality" means. But she's had a pop at Angelina Jolie:

Gay singer BETH DITTO has hit out at actress ANGELINA JOLIE's claims she's bisexual, insisting she wouldn't be dating BRAD PITT if she was.

Eh? What on earth does that mean, Beth?

"If she were actually a lesbian she'd be with a woman."

Uh... yes. That's why she's always said she's bisexual, Beth. You have to hope that she's not one of what we'd hoped were an almost-extinct type of homosexual, the sort who believes that there's no such thing as bisexuality and believe that all bisexuals are either gay people who are too scared to "properly" come out or straight people who are trying to make themselves more interesting.

If Beth Ditto were actually as feminist and sassy as she's supposed to be, she wouldn't come out with such monosexist cant.

Bush was "unChristian", says Sheen

Martin Sheen has, for some reason, decided that the four year-old Natalie Maines versus Republican America battle is still a hot topic:

"I saw what happened to the Dixie Chicks.

"If George W. Bush were a true Christian, like he proclaims himself to be, you know what he would have done? He'd have invited them to his next barbeque to play and say 'Hey, I love their music and whether or not I agree with them, I support their right to free speech.'

But instead he was a bully. And he enjoyed watching what happened to them ... it gave him a sense of power and righteousness."

While Sheen has a point, you do wonder if perhaps the time to bring this up would have been while people were still burning Dixie Chicks CDs or, at a push, as Bush was running for re-election. Still, we can't wait to hear what he makes of Tipper Gore and the Back In Control Center.

Thom Yorke takes on Brown

Thom Yorke is angry with Gordon Brown:

meanwhile thebigask has set up an online video march
to hastle the government to commit to cutting our CO2.
which is a good idea i think. and you can post your own message.
so i'll have to do that. once i've found me camera.

ever since Gordon Brown became PM they have gone a little quiet on this subject.
i do hope rumours of Mr Brown lack of interest in climate change aren't true.
we have don't have time such crap.

Yes, yes, time's short, but he's only been Prime Minister for a week, and Hilary Benn's not even had that long to get to grips with his environment brief. Added to which, what with the country having been up to its knees in rainwater and sewage, he might have had his hands somewhat full.

Borrell washes his hands of Pete

ContactMusic suggests that even Johnny Borrell has a breaking point:

British rocker JOHNNY BORRELL has given up his quest to help PETE DOHERTY kick his drug addictions, claiming the troubled singer refuses to help himself.

And you can't imagine the effort Borrell has put in, trying to persuade a man caught in a serious addiction to break from the chains of chemical dependency:

"I did once say to him that if he fancied having a cup of tea and watching Hancock's Half Hour or something, I'd be up for it, but I wasn't into smoking crack."

It's hard to see what else he could do. If only Borrell had been able to get to Kurt Cobain and sort-of-offer a cup of tea and maybe a quick DVD, how different could things have been then?

We can hear you, you know, muttering that if you had the prospect of sitting slurping a cup of Typhoo on Johnny Borrell's sofa while he took off his shirt and played you The Blood Donor you might well take up smoking crack instead. You're not helping, you know.

"I can't help him. I don't think anyone can. You can only help yourself. You can inspire people but you can only help yourself."

This is odd, because earlier in the article:

Razorlight frontman Borrell credits Doherty with helping him beat his own heroin habit several years ago and he was keen to return the favour.

We're not quite sure how Doherty was able to help Borrell when you can't actually help someone else. Unless it's different with crack and heroin.

PETA call out Gore on food

More criticism for Live Earth, as PETA question the selling of meat at an environmental awareness gig:

A PETA statement reads, "Because the meat industry emits massive quantities of greenhouse gases, selling meat at a concert to benefit the environment would be like selling cigarettes at an anti-cancer fundraiser.

"What people eat is more important than anything else they do – like the type of car or light bulbs they use – in determining their greenhouse-gas emissions.

The UN has discovered livestock farming contributes more to greenhouse gasses than cars, planes and lorries combined; the soothing balm, though, is that at the ridiculous prices Wembley charge - eight quid for a burger - nobody is going to be eating very much meat.

Something is growing inside, but we don't talk about it, do we?

The possible pregnancy of Christina Aguilera has been exercising gossip sites for a few weeks now, with no official word - not even so much as a coalman saying he'd been asked to deliver a couple of extra sacks and to make them "good and tasty."

In fact, we're not even sure if we can take the statement from Xtina's pop as a confirmation - he and his daughter don't get on and so he's probably relying on the same E! blogs as the rest of the world:

[He] told American magazine Life & Style: "I'm so excited. I want Christina to achieve all her goals. I wish her all the happiness in the world."

We're not entirely comfortable with the idea that creating a life should count as a "goal", like finally cleaning out the back of the fridge or completing the chapter where Captain Jack and the Doctor muck about with the machine re-writing their DNA with sexy results. ("I told you it'd be too heavy to lift" would be in there somewhere.)

Sky News have also found "a source" - we think this "we read in another magazine" that's explained Christina's decision to press ahead:

A source is reported to have added fuel to the speculation fire by saying: "She's thrilled. She's feeling wonderful and taking good care of herself.

"Christina's seen women with great careers, like Gwen Stefani, also raise great kids, and she feels as if she can follow their example."

Yes, Gwen Stefani has done a great job of raising Kingston - one of the few celebrity children to not constantly be popping up in TMZ embarrassing their parents. Mind you, being fourteen months old does mean some of the more extreme decisions required when raising a child haven't exactly exercised Stefani yet.

A challenge too far

Following on from the discovery that only two quid from the Challenge Anneka charity CD was making its way to the children's hospices, we sent a quick email to ITV to ask if, at least, the advertising revenue from the programme would be going to a good cause.

A simple request, you might have thought.

And, indeed, we got a reply straight away:

Thank you for your recent email.

I can confirm your enquiry has been forwarded to a member of the
production team for their viewing.

That was June 11th. How long can it take to type either 'yes' or 'no'?

I salute their indefatigability

You'll have been wondering, of course, what George Galloway's opinion of The Spice Girls reunion is. Naturally, a man who is comfortable hanging out with Saddam Hussein isn't fazed by their return:

D'YOU know what? I really, really want the Spice Girls' reunion. It's fashionable to diss their DNA-tested, silicone breast enhanced and well-tucked present persona, but I'm a sucker for nostalgia. They were the original Cheeky Girls, a kind of Hard Day's Night era Beatles. Zany, British and fun. And since they didn't have much talent to begin with, at least we won't think they've gone downhill when they come back.

We're not entirely sure why George thinks we want to know this - but if Victoria Newton ever hangs up her stirrups, we think we know who's next in line to helm Bizarre.

McCartney to save Save Our Selves?

The fear that Live Earth is going to be more Net Aid than Live Aid seems to be gripping the organisers at the moment and - faced with risk that Madonna's cringeworthy Hey You might be as good as it gets - they're reportedly desperately trying to get Paul McCartney on board to provide some sort of highlight for the day:

A source tells us: "It's true that Paul has been asked to take part. He said that the cause is very close to his heart and he's very impressed with what Al Gore's been doing to highlight it, but he's still deciding whether he can do it at the moment."

They desperately need something, because at the moment, this is the sort of thing they've got:

We understand that Genesis will kick off the Wembley show and Damien Rice and David Gray will do a duet.

Phil Collins and two of the dullest people in the world - together, at last.

What a great loss Peaches blog was

The promised Peaches Geldof Glasotnbury blog never materialised, which was, of course, a major loss to the world. We do, however, have a hint at the quality items we missed from this anecdote she's shared with Grazia:

"Kate Moss comes round to use our loo and, not knowing who is occupying the bathroom, Fred's friend bangs on the door. Then he almost dies of shock when Kate comes out."

Perhaps the internet kept rejecting any posts she tried to make, come to think of it.

Nena no-no

A post about KajaGooGoo followed by one about Nena. It's 2007, by the way, everybody.

Anyway, Nena is facing a legal letter and possible court appearance after a corporate for German insurance company Allianz went badly wrong. That's 'wrong' as in 'turned up drunk, insulted the company, insulted the suits, and failed to give out a bag with free copies of the Daily Express'. Winningly, Allianz only wants half its money back - presumably, as an insurance company, it knew the risks when they hired her.

KajaReNew

So many bands are reforming that we're starting to wonder if, perhaps, some sort of paradox engine has been unplugged somewhere and time is running backwards.

Yes, we know: at this rate the music content of No Rock will be totally forced out by Friday, making space for 10th Doctor/Willow crossover fanfic slash, but really: is that any more unlikely than KajaGooGoo reforming?

Without Limahl, of course. We'd be happy to see Limahl back, but no: it's just the ones which were left after he was forced out, supposedly because they had trouble matching his lifestyle with their belief system. Which is like restoring a vintage car without the engine. And we speak as a man who has Islands in our LP collection (we won it in a competition).

Interesting they didn't reform under Kaja banner they were using - to general indifference - when they split.

Smiths tribute replaces Morrissey

Morrissey's illness is, apparently, getting worse. Or, at least, no better: He's pulled dates up to and until Boston on the 8th. Because of the short notice for the pulling of tonight's Baltimore gig, they've hired Girlfriend In A Coma, a local Smiths tribute band, to entertain anyone who turns up by mistake.

At least it isn't Gene.

Thurston: Starbucks 'no worse' than Universal

Thurston Moore reckons he's surprised at the heat he's getting for placing the new Sonic Youth album through Starbucks:

"I never thought of it as being more radical than recording for Universal Music.

They're both corporations that have ties to things that people find sort of problematic. The compilation came out of the idea that I wanted Rather Ripped to be in Starbucks stores because that's where people were seeing CDs. They aren't going into record stores anymore."

Certainly, as music producers, Starbucks' record seems more positive than any of the big RIAA companies.

Is SoundExchange offer no robbery?

Following on from the Internet Day of Silence, SoundExchange have offered a compromise on the proposed new royalty rates for American webcasters. It's reduced its demands from the ridiculous to the merely stratospheric, proposing a cap of "just" $2,500 per broadcaster a year.

It's good news for services which offered many channels, but the prospect of a ceiling of two and a half grand might still prove too much for smaller broadcasters; more to the point, the cap will remain in place until 2008. An unspecified month in 2008.

The idea seems to be to derail the protests against the eye-watering demands for royalties and then bring them back - perhaps in as few as five months - when the campaign for commonsense royalties would be faced with having to start from scratch again. In effect, SoundExchange have put the kids' best clothes on for a visit from social services, and will have them back in rags after they've gone.

Meanwhile, LastFM's supposedly principled sitting-out of the day of silence seems to have backfired, as SoundExchange's Jon Simson has decided that they should be paying more, too:

Interesting to note that one of those services, that paid us very low royalties last year, just was sold for $280 million to CBS. Here they are using our music to build a business at a subsidized rate and then they flip it to a big company for a lot of money and we don’t get a percentage of that, where’s the fairness to the performers whose music is being used to create value in these companies?

Well, Jon, it could be argued that the value of Last.FM lies not in the music - for which you have been paid a fair royalty rate, one to which you had agreed - but in the people who use the service. They are the ones who provide the data which Last.FM is based on, it is they - and their community - which CBS has bought, not your music. In fact, I'm sure, Last FM would be content to not pay you any money at all, remove the music altogether, and allow the community to discover new music through their service, and then go somewhere else to collect it from. Of course, once they've gone outside the system they might seek the music from those pesky illegal services. But don't worry, because at least you'll have taken your stand.

Oh, and you know what? The Last.FM user base - the people who built Last.FM - they don't seem to be wining they're not getting paid. Because, presumably, they're happy with a system where everyone benefits a little.

Vaughan gets an extra hour

Johnny Vaughan's Capital Radio breakfast show is being extended by an hour, to end at 10am instead of 9. Rather than make him work harder, the plan is to fill the first hour of the show, between six and seven, with the best bits of the previous day's programmes.

It doesn't say how they intend to stretch three minutes' worth of material to fill an hour, but we're sure they've got plans.

Is it just us, or is Capital basically giving up? After removing all DJs from XFM, it's now fighting the most competitive breakfast show market in London by padding the show out with repeats. Surely breakfast is the time where you want your radio to be at its most up-to-date and timely? Who is actually going to want to hear Vaughan being fairly witty about, erm, yesterday's papers? And will Mondays start with an hour of stuff nearly three days old?

Doherty judges jail... again

We've no wish to see people thrown in prison, but you have to wonder exactly what it would take to get Pete Doherty banged-up again. His ability to swerve prison makes Scooter Libby look like Norman Stanley Fletcher.

This time, the whole being-caught-with-drugs while under a court rehab programme, and driving offences, have been excused due to stress:

Doherty was arrested on May 5 this year after his car was stopped by officers in Kensington High Street, London.

The court heard he had herbal cannabis in a coat pocket and a rock of crack cocaine in his trouser pocket.

More drugs, including ketamine and heroin, were revealed when he was strip searched at a police station.

Mr Curran argued that the charges related to "small amounts" of illegal drugs and that the singer had been working extremely hard on his new album at the time of his arrest.

He told the court Doherty had also had "a difficulty in his personal life which led to him being caught in this situation where he was driving the vehicle".

Mr Curran said it was clear from Doherty's history and the fact he is already under a community order that he has for some time been addicted to drugs and specifically to crack and heroin.

Even more surprisingly, his brief managed to pull this one off, too:

Mr Curran told the court a long term addiction like Doherty's takes a long time to overcome.

He added: "I have acted for Mr Doherty for many years and before forthcoming court appearances I would submit his position does deteriorate slightly.

"He is panic stricken at the thought of custody. He has been on remand before and he does not present himself in a favourable light at court hearings."

Aha! The old 'he's only in trouble constantly with the courts because of the stress of being in trouble constantly with the courts' defence.

The judge decided to defer sentence to August 7 on condition that the singer did go into detox and did not commit any more offences but left him in no doubt he would face prison if he did not comply.

She said: "If you go to this place to have detox and take advantage of it then we will see what sentence is appropriate when you next come, but if you do not I can tell you now that you will go into custody."

He's going to Harrogate for a five-day detox programme the week after next; we're a little surprised at someone being sentenced to a week's holiday by the sea after being caught taking advantage of a generous court time after time.

Allofmp3 closure - sorry, should we be cheering?

Despite there not having been any legal process, Allofmp3.com has been closed down, apparently as a gesture of goodwill from Vladimir Putin as he met George Bush to discuss the growing number of beefs between the two presidents.

Obviously, the music industry are delighted at the move, but isn't it somewhat disturbing? Is there really any difference between Allofmp3 being summarily closed and the seizure of Shell's assets in Siberia? In both cases, there may well have been legitimate grounds for the actions taken, but without a full hearing in open court, how will we ever know?

Apparently, rock is dead

Sean Lennon has announced the death of rock and roll:

“I mean rock 'n' roll is already kind of played out. I wouldn't even be doing it if my mission was to be a pioneer.

"I'm only worried about creating beautiful songs. I'm not trying to reinvent songwriting. Pop music and rock 'n' roll, it's not such a vital art form anymore in the way that it was in the sixties.”

Police said they wished to interview Mr. Lennon after his various attempts to kill rock in recent years, but reassured the public that music was in fine fettle. "We think" said a spokesperson for the police "that Mr. Lennon had inherited a disease from his father which stopped him seeing clearly anything that happened in the last forty years."

Beckham has a plan

Victoria Beckham is planning on giving up smoking to help her voice improve in time for the Spice Girls tour.

We're not sure why - perhaps its so she can shout more effectively if the guy who plays her lip-synching taper in screws up.

Tony Thompson: death by airconditioner

Although early reports suggested that Hi-Five singer Tony Thompson had died of an illegal drug overdose, the autopsy report has revealed he was killed by "toxic effects of chlorodifluoromethane."

It appears that Thompson had a problem with huffing. What is huffing? It's practice of inhaling freons, the refrigerant found in fridges and some air-conditioners. The presence of the chemical, and his body being found near an air-conditioning unit, point quite strongly to this being the cause of death.

[Tony Thompson obituary]

Doherty update

After turning up late for court, Pete Doherty has entered a plea of guilty to the charges against him.

Beth Ditto puts some clothes on

We're not entirely sure there's any agreement at all yet, but the Beth Ditto flexible morality chart is allowing her to consider designing a fashion range for New Look. Now, perhaps, this will be a range in actual girl sizes, but if Ditto is true to what she says she believes in, shouldn't she be telling them to make all their clothing in larger sizes, rather than creating a Ditto-ghetto for larger women in the corner of the store?

Fesitier still

There's already a slate of Feist dates for July; now, the tour's being expanded with extra gigs planned for September:

Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms – July 17
Manchester Academy 3 – 19
Birmingham Glee Club – 22
London Scala – 24
Nottingham Social – September 23
Shepherd's Bush Empire - 24
Dublin Tripod - 25
Glasgow Oran Mor – 26
Bristol Trinity Centre - 28

Doherty warranted

Magistrates issued an arrest warrant for Pete Doherty this morning after he failed to turn up for the latest hearing into drugs charges against him.

With his usual charmed life, though, he strode through the doors a few minutes later - two and a half hours after he was supposed to be there.

No word yet on the actual proceedings inside court.

Live Earth: go on, burn it up a little more

This is a genuine press release we've received this morning:

Just wanted to shoot over some great news at the Wiredset office. We are working with Lenny Kravitz and as you may have heard he will be headlining the Live Earth Rio concert!

The great thing about the Rio Live Earth show is that it’s the only one that’s entirely free! So book that plane ticket and get down to Rio to enjoy an awesome show on the Copacabana Beach.

Emphasis added.

It's what she would have wanted, too

Coming out of the Diana concert, Elton John was caught on camera barking at a traffic cop because his car had been held up for a few moments.

Of course, it would have been a far more fitting tribute to have been driven out at high speed with no care for the rules of the road or thoughts of basic safety.