Chris Brown says company named after him isn't about him

Let's take a moment to look beyond the fact that Chris Brown is a thuggish perpetrator of domestic violence who a lot of people seem keen to give a free pass to, and spend some time examining another way he sucks, shall we?

He's got his own vanity label, you know. It's called CBE, which means Chris Brown Entertainment.

But, hey, don't focus on Chris Brown here. That would be wrong:

"I don't even like to say, 'Yo, they're my artists,' " Brown told [MTV] of Sevyn Streeter, pop singer Sabrina Antoinette and rock band U.G.L.Y. "Most of the time you get stuck in a box where people don't give them a shot because they're getting co-signed by another artist. For me all the artists that are signed under me — or that are working with me — are phenomenal."

These are just acts that he says he loves - which is bad news for them, as Brown has a track record of beating to a bloody pulp people he claims to love.

It's curious, isn't it, being worried about the artists on your label being pegged as pets of that artist, and yet naming the label they've been signed to with your own name.

It might be a mixed message.

Ah, but Chris Brown has thought about that. He suggests CBE could mean other things as well:

The label's acronym breaks down to Chris Brown Entertainment, but the multiplatinum singer doesn't want to make it all about him so he has come up with two other meanings behind his imprint: Culture Beyond Your Evolution and/or Culture Beyond Your Experience.

Hang on a moment, though. Unless I'm mistaken, don't both those come out as CBYE?

Brown seems to think his illiterate wordplay is part of a continuum related to his genius:

"I always use the metaphors and the different meanings. I like to be weird like that," he said.

There's nothing weird about using metaphors.

There might be something weird about not knowing the difference between reversing out a new meaning for an abbreviation and a metaphor, though.

Bobby Gillespie pops in to TopShop to complain about the world

Here's the new Primal Scream single, 2013:

What's it all about, Bobby Gillespie?

The first single from the new album, entitled ‘2013’, Gillespie describes as “a critique of youth culture”, and it’s a theme he feels strongly about, the album is running live with anger. Talking to us at the bands tiny North London recording studio he explained further.

"We're living in very extreme times, but that doesn't seem to be reflected in the music that I hear or the art that I see. It seems that people are kind of asleep or they've anaesthetised or they just don't care. It just seems that there's no sense of revolt or resistance in art at the moment, whether it be music or the visual arts. Hollywood - it's like a propaganda machine for the USA, but the thing is; we're not writing albums against America or anything like that. Our country is heading towards being more right-wing and countries all around the world are getting more and more right-wing. There's less rationality, less liberalism, less love around. There was always a lot of love around, but it seems to be we're heading towards unenlightened times and nobody's talking about it or writing about it or even noticing it. It's like people are asleep or anaesthetised."

Two things here. First, Bobby Gillespie is fifty years old, so his idea of what happens in youth culture is on a par with my understanding of Boulogne municipal politics.

Secondly, where has Bobby Gillespie chosen to stand and wail about the harsh, right-wing, cultureless culture we live in?

TopMan Generation.

A web publication which describes itself thusly:

Topman GENERATION is a daily digital men’s magazine providing a unique cultural insight into the worlds of fashion, film, music and art.

Featuring exclusive editorial from writers and editors at the likes of NME, GQ, Blast, Undercurrent, AnOther Magazine, Art Review and Re-Bel, and headed up by editor Alistair Mulhall, Topman GENERATION is informed, irreverent and utterly irascible.

Welcome to Topman GENERATION, talking about your GENERATION…

Yeah, it's a spin-off of TopShop.

So Gillespie is wailing about how shit youth culture is in a publication which represents itself as creating, reflecting and celebrating that culture.

And that horrid right-wing world we live in? Remind me again who owns TopMan?

That's right, it's tax-avoiding Philip Green, a man to whom David Cameron has cosied up during his time in government; a man targeted by the 2011 anti-cuts movement (a movement which, by the way, suggests that Gillespie's take on youthful apathy is misplaced to begin with.)

So if Gillespie really does believe that the culture is bland and right-wing, what the hell is he doing taking part in a marketing campaign for the people making money out of that?

EDIT: In response to a comment below, I've added in the first paragraph of the first quote from Bobby Gillespie to make it clear that he was talking about youth culture.

Rick Ross tries an apology for pro-rape song; denies it's a pro-rape song; fails to apologise

Here's Rick Ross, then, saying sorry for... well, for what, exactly, Rick?

I dont condone rape.Apologies for the #lyric interpreted as rape. #BOSS

— Mastermind (@rickyrozay) April 4, 2013

You'll note that Ross isn't apologising for writing a lyric about rape, but for the interpretation of a lyric as being about rape.

Let's take a look at the lyric, shall we?

Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it/
I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it.

This is from Ross' UOENO. So, he drugged a woman, kidnapped her, and in some way "enjoyed" her. But that's not rape, unless, hey, you choose to interpret it that way.

Ross has tried to explain it to us thickies before, during an interview on Q93:

The rapper said he had been misunderstood, pointing out “the word rape wasn’t used.”

Hey, why didn't you say so before? Clearly, if you drug someone and fuck them without their consent, there's not a territory on the planet that would define that as rape, unless the bragging rapist actually used the word "rape" at some point.

It's hard to even understand why Ross is apologising for writing a song about raping someone which people are unfairly interpreting as being about rape when it doesn't even have the word rape in at.

Who, Rick, who are the real victims here?:

I dont condone rape.Apologies for the #lyric interpreted as rape. #BOSS

— Mastermind (@rickyrozay) April 4, 2013

I wouldn't worry Rick. Sure, a lot of people might call for your sponsors to sever all ties with you, but I'm sure nobody will use the word "boycott".

Gordon in the morning: Man plays dull sport with "friends"

You might not believe it, but, for what feels like the 190th year in succession, Gordon Smart has spent a day playing golf to promote a computer game, and then written about it.

It's still not entirely clear why, if the computer golf game is so good, the producers pay for Gordon and his rag-tag band to play real golf on a proper golf course.

Gordon ends with an "I'll be back" warning:

The biggest tournament in golf will be back next year at Gleneagles.

Sweetie, your website will be behind a paywall this time next year. You might find PR teams less willing to pay for hijinks by then.

Great news! Apparently we've got money to piss away

You might have got the impression that the government has no money. Why, things are so bad poor people can't have... well, anything much, apparently. Spare rooms, control over their shopping, dignity. There simply isn't the cash.

Except it turns out there's thousands of pounds swooshing about with so little call on them, Vince Cable's department is pissing away £200,000 on anti-piracy measures that won't work.

£83,000 is being spent on getting the University Of Surrey to develop a new form of DRM, presumably signed off by someone who doesn't understand that DRM as a category has failed, but hopes it just needs yet another form of DRM to make it work this time.

The rest of the money, though, is really being wasted. Torrent Freak calls it:

The lion’s share of the money – £113,000 – went to a company called ‘WhiteBullet’. If you’ve not heard of them, you’re not alone. Started less than 3 months ago, its big idea is that websites really need a colour-coding system so people can tell how ‘legitimate’ it is. Called the “IP Infringement Index”, or IPI, it’s a red/amber/green rating for sites based on how ‘infringing’ they think a site is.

That's right. People who went to the Pirate Bay, and saw a giant pirate ship, and searched for music they were somehow going to take ownership of without an intervening payment: they wouldn't have done that if there was a big red circle in their browser address bar warning them that this wasn't part of the HMV website.

It would be an offensive waste of money if we were Qatar; to toss money away on such an obviously stupid endeavour while bleating about how we're broke is Antoinette-level brassneck.

Headline carries too much information all on its own

NME:

Meat Loaf invites Robbie Williams on Charlie Chaplin ghost hunt

Protecting subcultures

I'm listening to Today reporting on Greater Manchester Police's plans to record attacks on people for being part of subculture as hate crimes.

John Humphrys, talking to Sophie Lancaster's mother, pointed out that it's not a measure which would have saved her daughter from the horrible, hateful attack that killed her.

Perhaps. But it was a hateful attack, and should be recognised as that.

And yet...

I'm just not sure how practical the measure is. When I used to have bottles and stones bounce off me on County Road in Liverpool, the hurlers were assuming that I was some sort of hippy. They weren't attacking me because I was an indie kid; they were attacking me because I wasn't one of them. I would still have been dodging bottles if I had been a hippy, or a banker, or indeed anyone who wasn't wearing sportswear with their socks rolled down.

The violence wasn't motivated by any subculture to which I belonged, but the subculture to which I wasn't.

How do you account for that?

And those times when Merseyside Police pulled me over and searched me, cheerfully admitting it was because I wasn't dressed like the other people round those parts and that made me look suspicious: If attacking people because they're dressed in black is worth recording, should the police also be looking at why they use 'wearing other clothes' as a basis for a stop and search?

At the moment, the proposal seems to be more about gathering data than making a difference, so it's a first step. But it's been half a decade since Sophie Lancaster was murdered; you'd have hoped five years would have been time for something a bit more thought-through to have be proposed.

Unfinished monkey business

Apparently Justin Bieber has taken to carting a poor monkey around with him, breaking animal movement laws as he does so.

The NME read about it somewhere:

A source told The Sun: "Justin has been acting like a right diva. He is out of control and lives in an alternative reality to the rest of us. He didn’t think about the potential risks of flying a monkey from one continent to another. He and Mally go everywhere together. He will be heartbroken it has been put in quarantine. He seems as fond of Mally as Michael Jackson was of his chimp Bubbles."

Given that Bubbles ended up in an animal sanctuary, unvisited by Jacko and pining so much he apparently tried to kill himself, lets hope that Bieber likes Mally a little bit more than that.

Morrissey returns to announcing tour dates

These days, Morrissey tends not to play shows, but he's great at announcing them. He's issued a statement alerting fans in South America to look forward to a series of cancellations due to ill health this summer:

Morrissey is scheduled to play shows in seven cities in Mexico in June, rounding-off at the National Auditorium in Mexico City. Morrissey will also appear on two national television shows. The dates in Mexico will be followed by concerts in Brazil, Argentina, Peru and Chile. Details will be announced shortly.

Recently, Morrissey was advised to take a break from arranging dates to cancel in the future to allow his body to heal, but as he said at the time: "it’s difficult for me because, it’s very engrained within me. I know it’s the best of life … when you issue a bunch of dates and when you suddenly feel ill and when you post the 'contact venue for details for refunds' announcement … There is nothing better. Can you think of anything?”

Rock mags find new home

Classic Rock and Metal Hammer have changed hands, with the spectacularly named Team Rock purchasing the titles from Future.

Team Rock is led by John Myers:

Myers is executive chairman of the new company, TeamRock, which will create and distribute content to what it describes as the "large but under-served community" of rock music fans.

The new business is expected to announce more acquisitions in the next few days.

Under-served community? With the two titles here, plus a bunch of spin-off sister publications, and Bauer's Kerrang empire, and the Download Festival, and Absolute Classic Rock, I'm not sure I'd identify this as a market segment that is especially neglected, but good luck to anyone trying to build a magazine brand. You... you are interested in the print product, right?

TeamRock describes itself as a "new international multimedia content creation and distribution business" to "provide and create premium content to rock-music fans across the world via digital platforms and through the Classic Rock and Metal Hammer titles".

Oh.

Radio 2 repeat 6Music Coldplay experiment; get identical results

Earlier this year, 6Music presented listener with a list of songs and asked them for their favourite. Disappointingly, it ended up with Coldplay winning.

So when Radio 2 presented listeners with a list of "most-played albums" and asked them to rank them?

It's no surprises:

1 Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head
2 Keane - Hopes & Fears
3 Duran Duran - Rio
4 Pink Floyd - The Dark Side Of The Moon
5 Dido - No Angel
6 The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers
7 Pet Shop Boys - Actually
8 The Beatles - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
9 U2 - The Joshua Tree
10 Queen - A Night At The Opera

I know that we should take seriously no list which clears its throat by announcing that A Fit Of Vapours In The Bentley is the best anything, but just look at that. I'm no Beatles acolyte - I think you'd have spotted that - but even I know that Dido's No Angel is not a finer body of work that Sergeant Pepper's.

Interesting to see Actually, there, though. Actually.

Gordon in the morning: Mensch wants to take Bieber to end of garden, spank his little bottom

So yesterday was interesting, talking with Louise Mensch on Twitter about how she was the hardest questioner of the Murdochs at the DCMS select committee, while at the same time admitting that she'd already decided James had nothing to answer the second time round before he'd even given his testimony (you know, like a judge wouldn't and a jury shouldn't). Then it got a bit odd, when somebody else asked who the two people who'd misled the committee were Louise decided that his lack of knowledge proved that I was someone who didn't care about phonehacking and just wanted to "get Murdoch". (Yeah, thinking the person who runs the company should take responsibility for the criminality of his organisation - what a crazy thought.)(She'd also assumed that I wasn't aware of Myler and Crone. A lot of assumptions going on. It was like it was August 15th.)

Anyway, Louise is now a Sun columnist - on the News Of The World Whoops No It Isn't Called That Any More - something which her colleague colleague Gordon Smart shoehorns in to a piece about her husband.

Peter Mensch, it turns out, is no less strident in his opinions:

Peter Mensch, hubby of Sun columnist and ex-Tory MP Louise Mensch, said: “I’d take Bieber to the woodshed and spank him.”

Interesting. And number two, what is your idea of a great date?

Actually, Mensch is only suggesting physical chastisement here, not anything kinky.

Peter, 60, who manages stadium bands Metallica and Red Hot Chili Peppers, warned the 19-year-old singer will soon be on the scrapheap unless he shows his fans and management more respect.

He said: “His manager Scooter Braun is scared s***less. I don’t know what Bieber’s problem is. His career is over in three years anyway.”

Because let's not forget that the way to earn someone's respect is to take them to one side and physically assault them.

What's especially confusing is that Mensch manages the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which is a bit like someone who runs a bear-fighting pit complaining that zoos are cruel, surely?

Kraftwerk: Robots v Communists

Kraftwerk had been due to play a festival in China...

Hang about, let's just pause there. China does full-on, three-day, Reading-Leeds style festivals these days. Remember when Wham! playing a gig there was a news item in itself?

So, Kraftwerk was supposed to be at this festival. But they've had their invitation withdrawn. Why?

Tibet. It's always Tibet. The Guardian reports:

According to reports in Beijing, the ministry of culture denied the German quartet a visa because they were scheduled to perform at a pro-Tibetan independence concert in 1999. In fact, Kraftwerk's performance at the Washington DC fundraiser was ultimately cancelled because of a lightning storm.

So what will the organisers do now?

The festival has replaced Kraftwerk with the British pop band Travis.

You see, China? Censorship only ends up hurting the censors.

And if you're thinking "blimey, swapping out Kraftwerk for Travis is a bit like replacing an iMac with a ten year-old Nokia phone", well... even the Chinese realise that:

"I can't say we are 100% confident with Travis as headliners," Zang Keyu, Modern Sky's director of performance and operations, told the state-run Global Times newspaper. "But it's a fact we have to accept."

I bet Zang Keyu is desperately combing online biographies of Fran Healy in the hope he might have called for independence for Macau.

[Thanks to Gary White for the tip]

This week just gone

The most read stories in March:

1. Lennon musical plans come together
2. Bruno Mars sings to your vagina
3. Men's rights activists have problems with small dicks
4. Pandora believes there's good times round the corner
5. Robbie Williams has a go at Salad and Shed 7
6. Listen: Sweet Baboo's new single
7. Azealia Banks believes the Stone Roses are out to get her
8. Blur and Oasis bury the hatchet... again
9. Noel Gallagher doesn't write songs for anyone else
10. The Cheeky Girls have views on immigration

These were this week's interesting releases:


The House Of Love - She Paints Words In Red

Download She Paints Words In Red



Wire - Change Becomes Us

Download Change Becomes Us



Edwyn Collins - Understated

Download Understated



Crime And The City Solution - American Twilight

Download American Twilight



Depeche Mode - Delta Machine

Download Delta Machine



The Primitives - Everything's Shining Bright

Download The Best Of...



The Strokes - Comedown Machine

The Osmonds: A house divided

It's not just the increasingly brittle Tory party who are split in two over the idea of gay people having basic civil rights. That other battered, storied institution, The Osmonds, are also having a tough time of it.

Over in Utah, many of The Osmonds are actively campaigning against gay marriage, holding an event:

You'll note it starts with a "gather and mingle", although I'm assuming the mingling was tightly controlled to go girl, boy, girl, boy.

But you know who doesn't have time to listen to a teenager playing the piano in a bid to try and stop people they'll never meet getting married?

Marie Osmond, that's who. Marie's got something to say:

"The God that I believe in is a god of love, not fear. I don't tell my children if you're not good you're going to Hell. I tell my children that God will be there for them when they struggle. That's the God I believe in...I believe in [my daughter's] civil rights, as a mother. I think my daughter deserves everything that she desires in life. She's a good girl. She's a wonderful child. I don't think God made one color flower. I think he made many..."

You know, it might be churlish to point out here that there's not really any doubt that there are many flowers. Although the God making them bit isn't exactly factual.

So let's just applaud Marie Osmond's warmth, and remember that Not All Osmonds Think The Same.

Michelle Shocked tapes mouth, stages protest

Can't help feeling that Michelle Shocked might have done a better job salvaging her image if she'd stuck a bit of duct tape over her mouth before she embarked on the anti-gay rant, rather than outside one of the venues which subsequently canned her.

Shocked is trying to claim that the withdrawal of a platform is akin to being silenced. That would be muddle-headed enough from someone who hadn't lived the life of an activist, but from Shocked is just heartbreakingly crass.

Nobody is silencing you, Michelle. But that doesn't mean that anyone wants to listen to you.

Bookmarks: Amazon

[via The Daily WTF

Gordon in the morning: Robbie Williams so desperate to be in Oasis he's trying to start a war with Blur

Does anyone really care what Robbie Williams thinks about Blur? Really? Tell us then, Gordon:

he singled out Alex for criticism after accusing The Sun columnist of “not being very nice to him”.

Robbie said: “Alex is the bassist in Blur — my nan could do that. All she needs is a new haircut.”

Let's not pause to reflect that being in Take That is a job so simple, Howard Donald is able to hold the role down, and just probe this further.

It turns out that Williams is carrying a grudge:

He explained he first met the band during a TV show appearance in Manchester with TAKE THAT when he was just 16. Robbie said: “From what I now know, looking back, they were suffering from a little bit of middle-class angst.

“I did feel like I was part of the s*** beneath their shoes for being in a boyband.”

There's a bit of confusion between class angst and artistic angst there, and there's the other possibility that maybe Take That, and Robbie in particular, were annoying back then. ("Back then".)

It all ends up with Robbie wailing that he's the victim here:

He said: “There is a lot of snobbery towards pop music, to me and pop in general — it’s kind of a despised art form.

“There’s a lot of ‘Check out that fat ****, he’d be nothing without GUY CHAMBERS.’

“I’m coming from a place of, ‘Hang on, I’m being picked on here, I don’t like it.’”

Actually, Robbie, pop doesn't need you to defend it; it's like KFC defending Fast Food: might be from the field, but not the best placed to argue the value of what they do.

And put your mind at rest, Robbie. Nobody says you'd be nothing without Guy Chambers. They also acknowledge that you'd be lost without Gary Barlow, too.

Guitarobit: Jay Smith

Jay Smith, guitarist for Matt Mays, has died. Mays published an announcement on Facebook:

Folks,

Our guitar player and dear friend Jay Smith passed away this morning in Edmonton. As you can all imagine, we are completely devastated. However, in our heart of hearts we know that we need to Play on. Jay's family as well as the band know he would have wanted it that way. All the proceeds from the remaining shows will be put into a trust for his two beautiful children. Jay's wit, charm, and unparalleled love of music will never be forgotten.

He was our brother and he will live in our hearts and song forever.

Matt, Serge, Damien, Adam and Matt

Smith won the 2009 East Coast Music Award for Songwriter of the year; he led his own band, Rock Ranger, for most of the first decade of this century, joining up with Mays' backing group El Torpedo from 2007. He also released a free solo collection through Bandcamp.

No details about the cause of death have been made public.

Glastonbury 2013: Gimme shelter, perhaps in Joe Banana's tent while it rains

The Rolling Stones are taking a hell of a risk agreeing to headline Glastonbury, surely? It can take so long to get out the car park there they might end up burning through the whole of the time they're allowed to be on UK soil before they become eligible for paying tax here.

Gordon in the morning: Blown off by Blue

Over in the TV part of Gordon's empire this morning, news that Blue are overestimating their own importance:

REUNITED boy band Blue have infuriated ITV bosses after agreeing to perform at only FOUR of The Big Reunion’s 12 tour dates this summer.

Lee Ryan, Duncan James, Simon Webbe and Antony Costa will be seen performing live in the final episode of the ITV2 show, airing at 9pm tonight.

But they opted out of the full Live Nation UK tour, which stars Atomic Kitten, B*Witched, 911, 5ive, Liberty X and Honeyz.

Ah, it's like the heady days back at the start of the century, when Blue would often pop up overestimating their significance in the grand scheme of things. Although now they're overestimating their significance in a not-so-grand scheme of things.

Borrell pauses unloved band for unlovely solo career

Did you know that Razorlight are still going? Or, at least, they were, only Johnny Borrell has put them on hold. Why, Johnny?

He told French radio station Oui FM: "Razorlight are going to play The Olympia in Paris on April 3rd and after that it's Johnny Borrell, for the moment, and that's Freddy who plays in Razorlight, and Joao who comes from Brazil, who we met playing his saxophone in the street, and it's Darren who plays keyboards."

He's talking about himself both in the third person, and as if he was another three people.

Johnny Borrell stopping Razorlight to concentrate on a band who exist solely to aggrandise Johnny Borrell. It's not much of a difference, is it?

Thank you, ITV2. Thank you very much.

Fun quiz! Here's an extract from The Book Of Revelations. But, hidden inside, there's a Tweet from Natasha Hamilton announcing a new single from Atomic Kitten. Can you spot which bit is that most terrible thing?

To the Church in Pergamum

12 “To the angel of the church in Pergamum write:

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. 13 I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, not even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives.

14 Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: There are some among you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so that they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality. 15 Likewise, you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. 16 I'm off the studio to vocal @AtomicKOfficial potential come-back single!! Could today get anymore freakin' exciting! 17 Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

18 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.

Sandie Shaw appears before parliament

Yesterday the Culture, Media & Sport select committee was doing some thinking about the creative industries, which included an appearance by Sandie Shaw.

It's been written up in some places as an attack on Mumford And Sons, but... well, not really:

Finance is the biggest barrier for emerging artists.

At the moment, unless you’re Mumford & Sons and come from a public school and have a rich family that can support you, you’re on the dole and you’re trying to work and by the time you get a sniff of a record contract you just grab anything that they might offer you.”

That's not so much an attack on Mumfords as the lack of support for people who don't have their private means of support, surely? (And the gap is going to get worse, again, as Duncan Smith's punish-the-poor measures kick in in a few days.)

Shaw's not impressed by the alternative, Cowell-driven model, either:

“So many artists are disadvantaged,” she said. “They cannot start because of their background and the best music comes from those in challenging backgrounds, it comes from Glasgow, Manchester, Essex, it comes from places and people that are really struggling to make some meaning out of their existence.

“So all we’re getting is a load of Simon Cowell-type stuff that is being paid for and owned by people and the artists are just mere puppets.”

Yes. What chance do artists who take their first steps through a mere talent show have of creating great art like Sandie Shaw? Remind me, Daily Telegraph, how did Sandie Shaw's early struggle shape itself?

Shaw, whose real name is Sandra Goodrich, was working at the Ford car plant in Dagenham and as a part time model when she took part in a talent contest at the age of 17. Coming second, she got to take part in a charity concert and was seen by Adam Faith, the singer, whose manager won her a contract and gave her the stage name and topped the charts that year – 1964 – with (There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me.

But that was a totally different type of impressario sweeping up a talent show winner and giving them a recording contract.

Still, it's not like Faith was a Cowell-esque figure forcing Shaw to do work she didn't much care for, is it? Is it, Wikipedia?

Shaw had originally performed the song as one of five prospective numbers to represent the United Kingdom in the 1967 Eurovision Song Contest on The Rolf Harris Show. She had never been taken with the idea of taking part in the contest but her discoverer, Adam Faith, had talked her into it, saying it would keep her manager Eve Taylor happy. Taylor wanted to give Shaw a more cabaret appeal and felt that this was the right move - and also felt that it would get Shaw back in the public's good books as she had recently been involved in a divorce scandal.

Of the five songs performed, "Puppet on a String" was Shaw's least favourite. In her own words "I hated it from the very first oompah to the final bang on the big bass drum. I was instinctively repelled by its sexist drivel and cuckoo-clock tune." She was disappointed when it was selected as the song she would use to represent the country, but it won the contest hands down, though it has always been felt that this was partly due to her existing popularity on the continent (she had recorded most of her hit singles in French, Italian, German and Spanish).

Oh.

Still, none of that should distract us from her main, valid point: a lot of British creativity has been nurtured by young people using time on the dole to develop a voice. You could argue that a guitarist writing songs while out of work is doing something to help with his "job search" - but the system has no way of recognising that.

It's true that if you force a young Jarvis Cocker to work stacking shelves for nothing in Poundland, he'll get a lot of ideas for songs. But you'd need to give him some space to write the things down.

Jodeci: You never get a third chance to make a second impression

Late last week, there was a 90s nostalgia night (and, readers who are my age, don't think too deeply about that phrase, lest you start to install a stairlift) at Wembley Arena. It was an R&B night, with bands like Blackstreet, SWV, Dru Hill. Oh, and Jodeci.

Jodeci were so bad, that even at a gig watched by people happy to pay cash to see faded R&B stars, they managed to piss the audience off.

Soulculture details the nightmare in glorious detail:

The moment Jodeci appeared on stage professionalism didn’t appear to be at the top of their agenda. Just 30 seconds in and Mr. Dalvin decided to jump off stage like a long jumper to then find he couldn’t get back on it. After being told to get back on the stage by his group, a swift leg up from a steward put the singer back in the spotlight.

Things then went from bad to worse swiftly. Just one song in and the entire sold out audience started booing the once iconic group. Not looking like they knew what they were doing at all, there were points throughout that they were singing out of sync to the point no one actually knew what it was they were singing.

Surely anyone looking at that line-up would have thought "let's leave after SWV" anyway?

Spotify to try TV advertising

In a bid to become the Kings And Queens of music streaming, Spotify are taking to the TV to advertise their wares.

Oddly, it seems Spotify have chosen an expensive, lush, produced advert, which compares strangely with the bursty, shouty adverts they host on their own service. Almost like they don't really think that approach would be very effective.

The advert is going to be flung onto The Voice, prime-time on NBC. So not really being targeted at anyone who cares about music.

Motownobit: Deke Richards

Deke Richards, Motown songwriter, has died.

Richards was one of the four members of The Clan, and - after the Clan disbanded - was one of the four members of The Corporation - alongside Berry Gordy, Alphonzo Mizell and Freddie Perren. Both groups of songwriters were created by Berry Gordy, desperate to avoid the creation of more "back room superstars" after Holland-Dozier-Holland grew too large for the label.

Although only partially successful at burying the characters of the team, both groups did well as creative forces. The Clan was short-lived, but produced a couple of outstanding tracks for Diana Ross & The Supremes:

The Corporation were even more powerful creatively:

The team was disbanded in 1972 - their main focus had been writing for the Jackson 5, a role that was being taken on by Hal David. Subsequently, Motown relented and allowed their group credit to be replaced by the names of the individuals involved.

Last year, Richards was involved in selecting and polishing a collection of Jackson 5 rarities, Come And Get It.

Deke Richards had been suffering from oesophageal cancer. He died March 24th, at the age of 68.

Blur/Oasis: If they bury that hatchet any deeper, even Tony Robinson won't be able to reach it

Well, it's a happy ending of sorts: A Blur/Oasis crossover edition marking the end of the Britpop wars:

Former Britpop rivals Noel Gallagher and Damon Albarn have buried the hatchet and performed together at a charity concert.

Oasis guitarist Gallagher joined Blur singer Albarn and his bandmate Graham Coxon at a Teenage Cancer Trust gig at the Royal Albert Hall in London.

At long last, they've buried the hatchet.

Except... hadn't they already done that?

According to The Onion's AV Club, the pair buried the hatchet last May, when Albarn offered Noel the chance to sing along with soem Burundian drummers:

Blur's Damon Albarn, Oasis' Noel Gallagher bury the Britpop hatchet, finally

Albarn says he'd be happy to collaborate with the onetime brains behind Oasis who's since gone solo. "Well, why not?" Albarn says. "He should come on the Africa Express train [an Albarn-formed music collective] in September." Self-serving, sure, but a nice sentiment all the same.

Bit harsh to call Noel Gallagher "onetime brains". I'm sure he's used them on at least three occasions.

But hang on, surely the hatchet was buried before that? In February of 2012, when Albarn announced the cessation of hostilities at a post-Brits party:

Gallagher, 44, kissed both hands of Albarn, 43, before planting a smacker on his lips in front of shocked guests including Professor Green, Cesc Fabregas, Adam Deacon and Coldplay's Chris Martin.

Albarn, who had earlier collected the lifetime achievement award with his Blur bandmates, said: "It's funny to think Blur were last here 17 years ago when we were big rivals. Isn't it funny how we've both mellowed after all these years? We've buried the hatchet."

No, hold on. It was back in October 2011, wasn't it? The hatchet was buried back then, when Noel was generous in a Shortlist interview:

"Funnily enough, when I was out last night, I bumped into him," Gallagher told ShortList of Albarn. "I literally haven't seen the guy for 15 f**king years and I bump into him in some club.

"We both went, 'Hey! F**king hell!' and then he said, 'Come on, let's go for a beer'. So, we're sitting there, having a beer, just going, 'What the f**k was all that about 15 years ago? That was mental'.

"Then he said, 'It was a great time, though', and I was like, 'Yeah, it was a f**king good laugh'. It was cool, man."

In fact, Blur and Oasis have been burying the hatchet now for the best part of a decade. Here's The Guardian in 2004:

Just over nine years later, it looks as though Blur frontman Damon Albarn and Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher will finally bury the hatchet - both have signed up to perform on the new Band Aid charity record, due to be released in time for Christmas.

The Britpop feud might have been a great marketing scam. But, boy, the hatchet-burying is proving to be something of a strong pension scheme.

You know what the immigration debate really needs? Minor celebrities

As if the world wasn't already knee-deep in people who don't know what they're talking about, talking about immigration, we're now being blessed with The Cheeky Girls sharing their insight.

Shall we see what they have to say?

“It’s too easy to claim child benefit and send the money to children back in Romania,” says Monica. “That’s wrong.”

No, Monica. You're wrong.

At the moment, if your child lives in Romania then the most you could claim for would be eight weeks of child benefit, assuming they'd just returned to Romania, although there are some ways to claim a portion beyond eight weeks. But not what I'd describe as being "easy" ways to make a claim beyond that time.

Gabriela adds: “No one should be allowed to claim benefits unless they have worked here for a year.”

It's an interesting idea. And one of those things that doesn't sound unreasonable, until you ask how Gabriela ended up at this 'one year' cut off point. Is that a meaningful, reasoned point she's come up with, or has she just plucked a period of time out of the air?

Monica chips in: “And then they should only be allowed to claim benefits for a year before being asked to go home."

Hang about... someone has worked for a year in the UK, and then - I'd say 'struggled', I suspect the Cheeky Girls would say 'lived large' - been on benefits for a year. That's two years. How do you then decide that 'home' is somewhere else? If you're twenty, and spent ten percent of your life - all your adult life - in one country, how can a Cheeky Girl decide where that person should believe their home is.

Unless what Monica means is that people should go back where they came from. Now, where have I heard sentiments like that before?

Monica then undercuts her own outrage:

“Even during the bad times when our record label went bust we never considered claiming benefits."

Yes. And you know what, Girls, most people are like that. Most people are like you. They're not rushing about to cadge a few quid for doing nothing here and there. They might want to come to and work here; they might want to come to Britain to go on one of our talent shows and build some sort of career popping up on chat shows and the crueller panel games. Why do you think anyone else from Romania would be any different to you?

(Is it wrong to suggest that applying for benefits might be a more honest way to feed yourself than, say, just helping yourself from Sainsburys, by the way?)

But you know what? If you needed help from the state - from the rest of us - you should have asked. Because we're happy to help out. Because we're clever enough to understand that while today you might need a bit of assistance with paying the bills or covering the rent, yesterday you were sharing some of your earnings from The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year through the tax system, and tomorrow, when you find some more work, you'll become a contributor again.

Because it's called sharing. And because even if you didn't claim benefits directly, you benefitted from the way we work together in this country - to provide broadcasting infrastructure and make Never Mind The Buzzcocks; to keep trains running to take fans to signings; to build hospitals and a legal system where someone can make a mistake stealing groceries from a shop but still get treated with even-handed fairness. It's all part of the same thing.

And for two people who have done really rather well out of the State we've all created in the UK to suddenly suggest we change the way behave to anyone who might come later really reeks of hypocrisy.

This week just gone

The most-shared things on Twitter, ever, ever, ever:

1. Noel Gallagher thinks things were better when Thatcher was around
2. U2's manager wants to save the music industry
3. The Olympics closing ceremony
4. A pigeon poops in the very mouths of the Kings Of Leon
5. RIP: John Barry
6. Kerrang Awards shortlist 2012
7. RIP: Nic Potter
8. Cher offers to follow you for money
9. Gennaro Castaldo on treating file sharing like drink driving
10. Gary Barlow worried about canibalism

These were this week's interesting releases:


Marnie Stern - The Chronicles Of Marnia

Download The Chronicles Of Marnia



Low - The Invisible Way

Download The Invisible Way



Suede - Bloodsports

Download Bloodsports



Billy Bragg - Tooth And Nail

Download Tooth And Nail



Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Specter At The Feast

Download Specter At The Feast - WARNING: MP3 VERSION INCLUDES IDENTIFYING CRUD