Mel B: You don't know him like I know, he's lovely with me

Mel B has launched a stout defence of her convicted wife-beater husband, saying that he's not violent or anything:

She says: "Everything I stand for is about being a strong, independent woman, so for him to be seen as a wife beater is devastating for me because he's not - he never has been."

Mel, who married Belafonte, 32, in June after a whirlwind romance, claims she knew of his past and says he is a changed man.

So, he's "never been a wife beater" - despite, you know, that conviction for domestic violence - and yet, despite never having been a violent partner, he's changed.

[T]he 32-year-old, mum to Phoenix Chi, eight, and Angel, four months, defended his reputation and told how he has had group therapy and counselling.

Therapy, of course, to cure the violent man that he never was.

Of course, the most famous therapy Belafonte has had was court-mandated. After he was convicted of domestic violence. (According to the Mirror, of course, he got thrown out of the course twice before he completed it.)

It might be that Belafonte is a changed man from the one who killed a duck, whose first wife apparently sought an annulment. Let's hope so.

But you see Mel B desperately trying to argue that the past never happened:

"They're trying to make him out to be this aggressive, violent, woman batterer and he's not. If you read those police reports, they never say he physically beat up a woman."

... and the signs don't look good.

Victoria goes to see the Stones

Besides giggling about Keef and Ronnie smoking onstage - in defiance of the smoking b... sorry, it's so boring I can't be arsed to finished the words - Victoria Newton's 'review' of The Stones at the Millennium Dome reads more like someone who, at best, filed before she set off:

The band arrived at the riverside venue in true James Bond style — on a speedboat. They went on to deliver a medley of hits, and inevitably Keef got to sing a couple (time to go to the bar).

Ah, yes. "A medley of hits". That's, um, quite a setlist.

But once again they proved they’re still a class act and worth the extortionate ticket prices.

Sorry... how can anything be "worth" an "extortionate" price? Victoria, you've just said 'they proved the unfair price was fair'. But perhaps we should let it go as, clearly, you must have been writing this piece so close to midnight, musn't you?

There's gold in that there misery

A happy ending to the recent troubles of Kerry Katona - all those cheques from the magazines has helped her buy a new car:

KERRY KATONA is forking out £115,000 on a 200mph Italian supercar — in the hope it will change her bad luck.

She is buying the black Lamborghini Gallardo to get over drug and stress worries, a £100,000 burglary at her home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, and a custody battle over her two children with WESTLIFE ex BRIAN McFADDEN.

She told pals: “It’s an incredible machine.”

Come on, Victoria, she didn't tell pals that, did she? If that was a genuine Kerry Katona quote, it would have looked like this:

Max Clifford tells me 'Kerry thinks it's an incredible machine'

Now magazine is already preparing a "Kerry - Death crash: Amazing rescue pictures inside" special issue, ready to roll when the inevitable happens.

Jamelia: strong woman, strong hair

Brave, brave Jamelia has opened her heart to Victoria Newton about how she's not letting the split with Darren Byfield. She only split last week from the - shall we call him footballer, although he's a footballer in the way members of One True Voice are pop stars?

But after seven days, she's ready to share her pain with Newton. Where does she find the strength to carry on?

And with a greatest hits album on the way and a new range of haircare products to promote, Jamelia doesn’t have much time for wallowing in self-pity.

She said: “I’m getting on with work as I’ve got two really big projects to focus on — my new haircare range, Model.Me, and, of course, my greatest hits album, which are both out next month.”

How fortunate that the headline-hugging split from Barry Diefield should chime so perfectly with the promotional work for hair gunk and what is - effectively - Superstar's re-release. Why, you couldn't have timed that better if you planned it or something.

RIAA lawsuits face a major challenge

The RIAA lawsuits against filesharers are facing a strong legal challenge, as attorneys in Warner V Cassin are set to argue that the "evidence" presented by the label - screenshots identifying songs in a shared folder on a peer to peer network - doesn't satisfy the demands of US copyright law that actual infringement must be proved; the RIAA is unable to demonstrate that anybody downloaded copies of the shared files.

Although this isn't a unique defence, the judges in cases up until now have chosen to not rule on this point of law. This time, though, the courts are being asked to give a ruling on whether making available is the same, in law, as copying material. If it goes against the RIAA, they're going to find a lot of their "evidence" is suddenly evidence no longer.

Kanye feels so real

Kanye West loves his work, you know. And do you know why? Because he's real, dammit. And he's not just real, he's further along the scale of real than anyone:

"I feel like my lyrics are, if not THE, then equal to, the realest lyrics out," he says. "I connected with so many people without talkin' about guns and drugs. ... It's harder to go to work 365 days than shoot a person in one day."

Presumably he means "harder" in the "not wearing a shirt in cold weather" sense rather than difficult, as it's hardly news that shooting a bloke (which, as Phil Oakey pointed out, takes seconds) isn't quite as involved as an EU-regulation defying 365 day shift.

A glimpse into the Private Equity future for EMI

As it prepares to disappear into the clutches of Terra Firma, EMI has outlined what the future holds. They're going to take the music that means something to people, and whore it out until it's an empty husk:

"Our back catalog is so prestigious and so rich in heritage in its impact on pop culture that half our effort is reminding people and recreating awareness of the music's availability, " said Ronn Werre, president of EMI Music Marketing.

Over the next year, Saatchi & Saatchi will help EMI seek new ways for fans to reconnect to music they might hear on a commercial or TV show and ultimately translate that into a transaction, Werre said in an interview.

In other words, you can expect to hear a lot of songs you loved being flung onto car adverts. Oh.

Urge to merge

It seems like just minutes since we were detailing the last iPod/iTunes killer service, and yet here we are with another one. Or, rather, three failed services hoping to pool their - uh - expertise to beat the heck out of iTunes and iPod. Unless it's already been defeated by GBox, in which case, they'll take on that and Zune.

The three partners are MTV and Real, who are merging MTV's unloved Urge and Real's solid-but-sidelined Rhapsody in a deal Verizon Wireless. VW is co-owned by Vodaphone, whose expensive Vodaphone Live content delivery flopped like a sky-diving whale back before we even knew there was an iPod to kill.

The hope is that heavy promotion by MTV will drive take-up, but why MTV's muscle should be able to drive sales to this new venture when it couldn't persuade people to feel the Urge isn't clear. Although since MTV doesn't actually carry much music, it's probably not the best platform to try and connect with music lovers on. If they were selling drawings of dwarves setting fire to themselves, they'd be counting the bucks.

Meanwhile, UK mobile phone companies will be casting a nervous eye at the FT's reports of a deal to bring the iPhone to Europe. In the UK, it's definitely going to be on the O2 network.

Jesus returns - to the studio

Spinner.com is reporting that Jim and William Reid have headed on back into the studio, to record some new material.

It offers this clip, off of Letterman, of what the 21st Century Mary Chain sound like:

iTunes killer or MyCokeMusic2.0?

If we had a pound for ever iTunes/iPod killer that's launched, we'd have almost as much money as has been wasted trying to launch iTunes/iPod killers. Of all the contenders so far, GBox might stand the greatest chance so far. But it still feels a bit too scrappy to really take on Apple in a like-for-like battle: not least because it's only offering a slice of the catalogue from two majors, and because - for some reason - it's not available for Macs or Linux. Apart from this bit:

For those on another operating system or using a browser not listed above, you can still use gBox to do the following:

* View your friends' wishlists, gifts given, and gifts received wherever they have posted their widget
* Stand out by gifting others the stuff they want from their wishlist widgets

Oh, thank you. I can buy stuff for people who use other browsers. Truly, I am blessed.

In addition, wrapping the whole buying and selling in this strange "gifting social networking widget" set up is hardly a simple way of buying and selling. I don't imagine Steve Jobs is going to be that bothered by the competition.

Doherty walks - again

This time, the apparent breach of his bail terms that resulted in his arrest have't been enough to send Doherty to jail because he wasn't brought before the court within 24 hours.

Charges of breaching bail terms were dropped, and Doherty was free to leave court. If you were him, you'd probably be thinking of having a go at a murder or something, wouldn't you? Just to see how far your powers can stretch.

Lily attempts to appease America

Lily Allen seems to have suddenly remembered what happened to the Dixie Chicks when they slagged off the Commander-In-Chief. And they didn't have to worry about getting visas, neither.

So, she's, uh attempted to clarify her position on that MySpace page she said she wasn't going to be updating as often because the fun had gone out of it:

hello all

v festival was great, thanks to everybody who came ,

i just want all my fans to know this ,
I have called george bush a c**t at pretty much every show i have played over the past year , that is because I think he is one and i stand by that . You can make up your own mind as to whether you agree with me or not , thats just how i feel . Just because i hate george bush doesnt mean I hate america , quite the opposite , I think the US is a great place and I am really sad that I cant be there for my commitments scheduled for the near future . what i said about George Bush this weekend bears no relation to what happened a couple of weeks ago with my visa , that is an issue with the US immigration service . I just wanted to let you all know that my " foul mouthed tirade " so widely reported over the past couple of days is actually pretty rehearsed and ive beeen saying it long before all this visa issue .

Erm... Lily, you realise the "Us immigration service" problems you had were pretty much down to the line they've been taking fed directly from the White House? And it's a little bit simplistic to say "I am only hating Bush, not America" without suggesting where you see the line between the head of the State and the nation. Yes, it's possible to hold those two positions simultaneously, but without being given any explanation as to what you actually believe in the space between the two extremes, a casual observer might wonder if you merely trumpeted that you hated Bush because it sounded like a cool, anarchic thing to say, rather than because you have any real understanding of American politics.

She then tries to explain why she raised a glass to, erm, an alcoholic:

also me raising a drink to Amy , was just that , showing my support for her . I've been around enough substance abuse and alcoholism to know that it's a serious matter , and not to be taken lightly .

So, thoughtless rather than aggressive, then.

im sorry, i wanted to write this because i felt like if i didn't say anything you all might believe the rubbish your being fed .

But the "rubbish" is, erm, that you called Bush a cunt and raised a drink to a woman suffering from alcoholism. We're slightly tired of the way the semi-famous try to pretend that their bad behaviour has somehow been "misrepresented" or "made-up", relying on the distrust of tabloid standards to bury their own stupidity.

Baltimora!

One of the most upstanding, outstanding music blogs of the bunch, Largehearted Boy, is hosting a pre-Hampden Festival MP3 fest of bands due to appear at the Baltimore festival this September. Included are the god-teasing Baby Aspirin, Baltimore roll-punks Secret Crush Society and Water School covering Liz Phair's Fuck And Run. Good work at all angles.

Libertines singer "will go to prison"

Not Doherty, of course - indeed, the Daily Mirror is running a poll today to see if any of its readers believe Pete will ever again see the inside the inside of the cell; the consensus is 'no' - but Carl Barat is heading inside with Dirty Pretty Things to do a gig in Pentonville. It's an attempt to raise awareness of the large numbers of inmates who kill themselves while in the prison system.

Bacardi's successful sponsorship

Good work for the people at Bacardi: their sponsored tent at the V festival played host to two young women (Kate Moss and Sarah Harding) having a screechy bitch fight, which ended with Harding sobbing in the toilets as people tried to coax her out. Exactly the sort of results you usually see when people have been enjoying Bacardi's fine products, then.

Radio One More Time: Playground

Back in the pre-digital past, when there were few radio networks, Radio One felt it had a duty to be, if not all things to all people, at least to be serving more than just the teenager-with-a-tranny that was seen as its core, solidly dumbed-down audience. Playground was part of this remit, launching in the mid-70s on Sundays to cater to younger listeners. It was presumably intended to be a public garden in which young minds could be tended, and, like many gardens, it was shoved in an otherwise unattractive part of ground.

So early Sunday mornings, it was, where David Rider was given the chance to present a kind of aural Blue Peter, mixing the odd record with improving features, none of which at all we can remember. In fact, because it was on first thing on Sunday mornings, the only time we ever remember hearing it was when we were on holiday and a combination of excitement and unnatural beds, coupled with a grim determination to make the best of the day, meant we were up and about early enough. What we do remember, though, is the 'Have You Been Paying Attention' competition at the end, which - although holding out the promise of a small prize - clearly functioned as a stern 'listen to this, there will be questions later'. Nowadays, of course, the kids would just whip through the programme on listen again to claim the prize, but it wouldn't matter as the competition would still be won by one of Liz Kershaw's friends pretending to be eight years old.

Towards the end of the run - "to prop up an ill-considered idea" would be the uncharitable view - Maggie Philbin and Keith Chegwin from Swap Shop were parachuted in to "help out"; as a ratings-boosting idea this would have worked better if Maggie and Keith had mentioned their jobs on radio more often on Swap Shop. Instead, their appearance felt less like the glamour of television rubbing off on the programme, more like they were doing it under some sort of Community Service Order about which they were hoping news would not leak. It's similar, in fact, to the way that on Smile, Barney Harwood's sole mention of his involvement in Radio 4's Go For It has been a single, near-subliminal in-joke. Somewhere in Broadcasting House, there will be an executive wondering why the hiring of TV stars doesn't deliver audiences to radio, you know.

The sense of a kids programme caught in adult radio wasn't quite as marked as when Johnny 'hookers, drugs and motorbikes' Walker used to pause for five minutes during Radio 5's AM Alternative to play five minutes of Wiggly Park - at least Playground formed a distinct 'family' programme block, being followed by Junior Choice. Indeed, it was eventually subsumed by Junior Choice when, in 1986, Keith and Maggie jumped ship to stand alongside Tony Blackburn. Although there were promises made that Blackburn would continue with the more educational aspects of Playground's remit, they lasted about as long as "incorporating Melody Maker" did on the NME masthead.

[Radio One More Time: 40 posts about 40 years]

To be fair, it's not what she's known for

The 3AM Girls have clearly fallen out of love with Peaches Geldof, enjoying her fall from grace:

The "DJ" demanded to be moved from the opening slot on Saturday and then played one of the worst sets ever. "She managed to clear the dance floor before throwing a strop and leaving in a sulk," says our mole.

Blimey - being such a bad DJ you clear the dancefloor isn't unheard of, but the dancefloor clearing the DJ booth is a special kind of not that good.

Levine: Something of a charmer

Adam Levine - what a guy: he reckons he dumped Maria Sharapova because of her behaviour during sex:

She wouldn’t make any noise during sex.

"I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type.

"But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog."

Adam, sweetheart, as most IT support desks could tell you: if you're not getting the results you expect, it's usually down to operator error. Something wrong with the input.

"She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration."

She was probably afraid you were about to burst into song.

"It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards.

"Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny."

Really? Or was it more like the time you realised you couldn't fly, Adam?

Still, it's not like he's going to need to worry in the future - who's going to have sex with a man who - if it doesn't live up to his Porkys fantasises - goes to the press to whine like a fifteen year-old about it?

Winehouse: Out of rehab. Possibly.

We understand that The Causeway, the "rehab" holiday centre where Amy and Blake had gone to, come out of, picked up a guitar, went back to and has left again is considering getting one of those signs that Lucy had above her stall in Peanuts: "The pop star is " and an "in" and "out" card.

A "source close to the couple" reckons The Causeway is delighted they've gone, reports The Sun:

“It is supposed to be a peaceful backdrop to help people deal with their problems. But Amy and Blake kept rowing and spoiling the ambience.

“While Amy would be welcomed back with open arms, I’m not sure they’d say the same for Blake."

When they say "source close to the couple", don't you get the funny feeling it might be a source closer to one side of than the other?

We're a little bemused as to what sort of place that seriously weans people off heroin and crack would be unable to cope with a little bit of shouting. Maybe it was really Blake's hat that they had a problem with.

“Everyone is really worried that if they are let loose in London again they’ll just go straight back to their old druggy habits.”

Because, of course, half a day in a "rehab" centre would have been enough to break those "old druggy habits".

Is this the end for The Cheky Girls?

Obviously it's not the end for them as a creative force - that dwindled before Touch My Bum even made it into the shops. But as a company, The Cheeky Girls might be facing wipe-out, as Revenue and Customs seek unpaid VAT receipts. The problem, of course, is that their label, Telstar, went bust and - unless there's a large pile of cash sitting around unexpectedly, it looks like Cheeky Girls - the business will go the same way.

IRMA create copyright cellmate

IRMA - the RIAA in Ireland - are whooping with delight at the sentencing of Martin McDonagh to six months in prison. McDonagh was caught trying to flog knock-off CDs in pubs and markets, and IRMA's DG Dick Doyle is thrilled:

This sends out a strong warning sign to anyone involved in illegal counterfeiting and CD selling. It is stealing from people who make a livelihood from music. We will do everything in our power to seek out and prosecute anyone involved in any form of unlawful music practice. This is the first prison sentence that has been imposed and we intend that it will not be the last'.

We're not sure that it's actually up to Doyle to instruct courts what sentence to pronounce, and it seems a little harsh to throw McDonagh in jail despite his guilty plea - it's certainly not going to lead to anyone caught in the future offering to co-operate in the hope of a lighter sentence.

Last FM get into video

Last FM is aware that being the market leader in "what I'm listening to now" isn't enough to keep it warm in the years to come, and is looking to pick up some new tricks: It's improved its streaming video offering. Wired reckons the quality of their service can be better than that of YouTube, and the ability to lob into blogs is now part of the deal.

Other music blogs are available

I don't think we've ever linked through to a Tumblr blog before, so it's a double delight to point at 120 Minutes, a simple blog which collects videos of the sort MTV's 120 Minutes used to play. The US version, we guess, rather than the UK version, which always suffered from having its finely-chosen musical content introduced by Paul "I'm talkin about the woah-oh-oh-oh" King. Until he left and was replaced by Miles "by this time rhyming slang" Hunt.

And so he goes

Tony Wilson has been buried in a private ceremony in Manchester this afternoon. Amongst the floral tributes was a £400 wreath, paid for by seemingly everybody on the Liverpool music scene clubbing together.

Although today's event was family and close friends, plans are being made for a more public celebration of Wilson's life and achievements; councillors in Manchester are discussing plans for a permanent memorial.

Amazon, Yahoo set to flog MP3s

Inspired by Universal's attempts to break Apple's online music dominance, Amazon and Yahoo are readying their online music stores. Music Week is reporting Amazon will be flogging MP3s from September; Yahoo from January 2008. Although not actually DRM-free (the tracks will be traceable), the new stores are hoping that the more open format will allow them to chip away at iTunes' market share.

Explosions rearranged

Last May, Explosions In The Sky had to pull their UK tour. They're now returning in January to fulfil the dates. And a couple of new ones:

Wednesday 23 January – BRIGHTON – Concorde
Thursday 24 – BRISTOL – Anson Rooms
Saturday 26 – DUBLIN – The Village
Sunday 27 – GLASGOW – Barrowlands
Tuesday 29 – MANCHESTER – Academy
Wednesday 30 – LONDON – Astoria

Madonna screws the majors?

A fascinating snippet of gossip in today's Times suggests Madonna could be about to leave Warners, her label since back when she was good, to sign a deal with LiveNation.

Yes, as in the former promotional wing of Clear Channel.

The idea would be to wrap up her live music with recording rights; it's probably going to give the majors more to worry about than McCartney tying up with Starbucks because, while McCartney is mainly a back-catalogue type of guy, new Madonna records still sell really well.

The few major label managers who have a plan for their industry in the future beyond smashing all computers and trying to make Apple give them a dollar for every iPod sold have grasped that they need to reinvent what they do as more of an artist management business - it was that which inspired Universal to shell out the best part of fifty million quid buying Sanctuary.

Trouble for the labels is, with everyone agreeing that for top-drawer artists, the live part is now a more significant earner than their recorded work, the smart move seems to be to tie yourself to a copmpany whose expertise is in live promotion and can sub-contract the CD and digital releases, rather than tying yourself to a company which is struggling with digital releases and CD sales and doesn't have any in-house capacity to do the live promo work.

Dre stares Death Row in the face

A long-bubbling bout of disagreement between Dr Dre and Death Row Records is heading for the courts: Dre claims the now-bankrupt label is touting rights for The Chronic to raise funds; he wants rights to the record back claiming that his deal allowing the label to keep exploiting the title had been broken when Death Row failed to pay him royalties.

The courts are having to decide if a dead man locked in Eminem's basement can, legally, sue a defunct record label.

Is KT Tunstall a vampire?

Never mind about her sexuality - could KT Tunstall be one of the undead, who would feast on our brains (hang on, that's zombies, isn't it?)

The 'music' she has released is enough to suggest that she feels the torture of innocent souls is a bit of a buzz. (And, incidentally, William Grundy, why do you think your girlfriend suddenly turned cold on the idea of going on holiday with you? It had nothing to do with her wanting to pay her way; she clearly was horrified that you chose to play her KT Tunstall during your date last night. Watch out, or Ed will have her away, too.)

Now, there's more evidence. Fangs, to be exact:

"I had my teeth filed down because I grew fangs. I was only five and it was quite unpleasant.

"But I was fairly vicious if I got into fights back then. I didn't bite anyone directly, but I did some nipping when I was just mucking around with my brother."

Now, on to our next subject: Sandi Thom - werewolf or not?

Son, I'm... uh, thirty... I think...

And this, then, would be your brain on drucks: Shaun Ryder has been forced to rely on an autocue to prompt him when onstage:

"Yeah, I forget the words. I need a bit of help. Is it any surprise after all the shit I've done?"