15 Step: December

Sweet Jesus, look how much Taylor Swift makes from a gig and now she wants to own 1989.

Rock City turned 35.

Oh My Girl were turned back at LAX. At first, the story seemed an outrage but then it turned out they had the wrong visas.

Meek Mill tried to pass off tap water as wee. Judges were unimpressed.

Bipolar Sunshine is a lovely person and Justin Bieber did a lovely thing.

Joss Stone is now the world's greatest reggae star. Apparently.

Could people stop asking Lemmy if he's about to die, please?

The Beatles may have overstated how popular their streaming debut was.

Reunited: Dave and Ray Davies

Part of 15 Step
November

Damon Albarn gets an OBE

Damon Albarn will shortly be heading to the Palace to meet the Queen*, as he's accepted an OBE.

I wonder if he had a well-connected chum who put in a good word for him?

Apparently Alex James hates that photo.

If you're feeling a bit glum that Albarn is these days so firmly in the belly of the establishment, maybe this, at least, will cheer you up. In a rare tweet that isn't misunderstanding that everyone knew Tim Hunt was joking and that that was the problem, Louise Mensch has clambered onto the wrong side of history:

Damon Albarn? I hope they offered Noel one and he turned it down, is all I'm saying. Oasis >> Blur

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) December 31, 2015

Spotify sued for "incalculable" damages

Spotify's admission just before Christmas that some of the data it uses to assign royalties is a bit broken could end up being costly. Former Camper Van Beethoven and perpetual thorn in Spotify's side David Lowery has just filed a class action lawsuit against the company, claiming copyright theft:

“Spotify has — and continues to — unlawfully reproduce and/or distribute copyrighted musical compositions … to more than 75 million users via its interactive commercial music streaming service,” the lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in the Central District of California, read. ” … Indeed, Spotify has publicly admitted its failures to obtain licenses for the musical works it distributes or reproduces or to pay royalties to copyright owners for its use of their Works.”

The initial suggestion is USD150million in damages, but the lawsuit suggests the final figure might be "incalculable".

DJobit: Guru Josh

Paul Walden, who dropped an E and reinvented himself as Guru Josh, has died.

His big chart hit was Infinity; and although he never really did as well in the charts again, the base that the track gave him allowed him to start a third life (after pub rock and dj star) as an perpetual start-up. His Guardian obituary explains:

He [said, of the Infinity re-release] “But what do I want to do for the rest of my life, keep churning out rubbish? Music has been good to me, but now I get more excitement out of setting up new businesses.

“I’m more like a mad inventor than a musician. About a year ago, I patented a new invention that’s being manufactured in China at the moment. It’s a big secret but you’ll know about it soon. People say it’s the next cat’s eyes.”

It's unclear if his next cat's eyes ever took off. There doesn't appear to be a related patent application in his name.

Guru Josh died December 28th in Ibiza; he was 51. The cause of his death has not been made public.

15 Step: November

Nobody should die at a gig. And you wish Morrissey hadn't tried to make the story about him.

The Verve's Nick McCabe is enjoying a vibrant second career as a NIMBY but Martyn Ware is actually helping the National Trust.

Busta Rhymes fessed up to assault with a deadly milkshake and Ozzy Osbourne apologise for pissing on the Alamo.

To nobody's surprise, it was about Warren Beatty.

Benjamin Clementine won the Mercury.

Sandi Thom thinks its unfair she's not on Radio 2 and it's time to run 'reviving Top Of The Pops' up the flagpole.

Lil Boosie doesn't like all the gays on TV, but appears to watch constantly nevertheless.

Is there anything less exciting than a new Coldplay album? Actually, yes, a long-drawn out Stone Roses gig announcement.

The government is investigating secondary ticket sales again.

Reforming: Busted

Closing: FHM, Zoo, Details


Part of 15 Step
October

15 Step: October

Going to a gig? Don't shower Lauren Mayberry with unwanted proposals and don't be brutal to Bruce Dickinson.

Russia has decided it won't tolerate copyright violations any longer, which is a bit like Ceaser's Palace going cold on boxing.

Rob Halford likes squaddies, which is fine - although he tries to justify it in geopolitical terms.

The Vaccines can't begin to tell you how they don't care about not being on the Mercury Shortlist while Queensryche think the only thing wrong with their new album is the fans listening to it.

Lindsay Lohan is throwing her hat into the US presidential race but Demi Lovato is already turning up at the Senate; there's no evidence that Terence Trent D'Arby debated in the House of Lords.

Joe Elliott thinks streaming services pay too little, although Pandora have now started paying for pre-1972 recordings. These days, the money is in gig insurance.

St Vincent is trying waiting tables while the debit card business isn't working out for Russell Simmons.

It feels wrong going outside naked, realises Justin Bieber, who then got upset when people stopped him mopping water.

The rudderless NME gave Chris Moyles a cover.

Reviving: HMV

Returning: Ugly Kid Joe

Part of 15 Step
September

Bookmarks: Phish

There's a wonderful piece in Vogue about what it's like being married to someone who really, really, really likes Phish. Of course, it's called Confessions Of A Phish Wife:

Phish and its music are polarizing—either you get it or you don’t. Katie is one of the partners who don’t. “I am constantly like, ‘When are they retiring?’” she wondered aloud one afternoon over coffee. “It’s this constant hope of, Will this be the last one?” Katie was a Phish fan in high school and simply outgrew their music (“The lyrics are like Dr. Seuss, except not as clever”), and she finds the Phish stoner stigma a little embarrassing. “It took me a year into dating Will to tell my parents that he was a Phish-head,” she said. “We did it over dinner one night. I was like, ‘Guys, I have something to tell you . . .’”

It took me years to “find out”—I say “find out” with mock solemnity; after all, Phish fan is better than Ashley Madison member—the depths of my husband’s love for Phish. I knew he was a fan, but when we first met, the band was broken up. By the time they reunited in 2009, we were living together, and his secret was laid bare.

Motorheadobit: Lemmy

Earlier this month, we mentioned an interview in which Lemmy complained about how many people asked him about how close to death he might be.

They won't be asking any more. He died earlier today:

The band confirmed his death on its official Facebook page, saying, “There is no easy way to say this…our mighty, noble friend Lemmy passed away today after a short battle with an extremely aggressive cancer. He had learnt of the disease on December 26th, and was at home, sitting in front of his favorite video game from the Rainbow which had recently made it’s way down the street, with his family. We cannot begin to express our shock and sadness, there aren’t words. We will say more in the coming days, but for now, please…play Motörhead loud.”

Easyobit: Stevie Wright

Easybeats singer Stevie Wright has died.

Wright was one of the few stars who managed to shake off a diminutive nickname - he'd originally been dubbed Little Stevie. Born in Leeds, but growing up in Australia, he was perhaps the nation's first rock star. His time with The Easybeats created a strong catalogue of tunes - many of which he wrote lyrics for - and he even managed a solo career which only ran into the ground when he started to use too much heroin. The treatment for the addiction did as much damage as the drugs. Courses of ECT and drug-induced comas left Wright permanently mangled, although he was luckier than some treated at the same hospital. The Chelmsford Hospital ended up killing 24 of its patients; another 19 committed suicide shortly after being "cured".

He'd perform from time-to-time after his spell in hospital, but never fully returned to music.

Andrew Stafford has written an appreciation for The Guardian.

Stevie Wright died December 27th; he was 68.

Spotify hope you don't notice them quietly admitting their mistakes

Christmas Eve, when people are too busy arguing over whether eggnog is an emulsion or just tastes like paint to pay much attention to what's happening in the business world.

Christmas Eve, when Spotify admitted they might not actually be paying people the right amounts:

"One of the most difficult challenges is the lack of accurate data as to who owns the rights to a specific track, especially when it comes to songwriter and publisher rights," James Duffett-Smith, Spotify's Global As Head Of Publisher Relations wrote in a blog post. "In many cases, the ownership of the rights are not even finalized when a record is released; in many other cases, rights are held by multiple parties, rights change hands, and rightsholders remain entirely unclear."

"This is a global problem – outside the U.S., publishing rights organizations and collecting societies who receive royalties on behalf of songwriters and publishers face similar challenges," he continued. "And it is a complex problem – we are committed to solving it, but it is going to take significant time and effort."

You'll note they're not actually going to pay any more money, but they're pledging to try and make sure those portions of pennies go to the right people.

Steve Brookstein's Twitter: a further investigation

A lot of Steve's Twitter feed is dedicated to not-at-all-bitter-sounding tweets about the X Factor:

X factor only made no12 in Christmas chart. Ding dong the show is dead. Happy 2016!

— Steve Brookstein (@stevebrookstein) December 26, 2015

Simon Cowell's X Factor closing down sale. Everything must go!! https://t.co/qlvFFjqYpM

— Steve Brookstein (@stevebrookstein) December 24, 2015

Louisa single flopped because people have woken up to the fix factor. Simple.

— Steve Brookstein (@stevebrookstein) December 22, 2015

But sometimes it just gets a bit weird:

I'm not saying the journalists at MTV are paedos but as they continue to support the Max Clifford narrative I begin to question it.

— Steve Brookstein (@stevebrookstein) December 22, 2015

What?

There's a little bit of politics, too:

British poor, debt, homeless, children in abuse houses and poverty, flooding, where's our foreign aid? #cobra

— Steve Brookstein (@stevebrookstein) December 27, 2015

I say "politics", I mean mildly unpleasant right-wing.

There's a pinned tweet, too:

"Getting Over The X" - No1 Kindle Biog. Over 400 reviews on Amazon. Zero by mainstream media. Read why. https://t.co/NR32Id4irk

— Steve Brookstein (@stevebrookstein) December 15, 2015

The number one Kindle biography is Paul O'Grady's. At present, Brookstein's biography is at number 153. In the music biography section.

Steve Brookstein discovers someone remembers him; isn't happy

Ah, Steve Brookstein. You'll recall him from being on The X Factor back in 2005, and his stint as a shipboard entertainer on a, erm, car ferry. You maybe even read his book which came out last year, which Wikipedia describes like this:

He has also released a book on 21 November, "Getting over the X", that describes his journey from winning The X Factor to having the press and industry turn their backs on him.

The journey from winning the X Factor to being ignored? Like Ian McEwan's Saturday, a book where all the action takes place in a 24 hour period then, presumably.

Anyway, turns out the Brook is back, and he's having a little fiddle with the Twitters.

Vanity-searching your own surname like a paranoid egomaniac is also not a good look. pic.twitter.com/i3VZsUc7Uo

— Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) December 28, 2015

"It makes you sound like Max Clifford".

Trouble is, Steve, the internet has a long memory, even if your fans don't:

Also, not sure how 'vaguely remembering something a man tweeted' is 'repeating tabloid propaganda'... pic.twitter.com/vsyMp3qlbp

— Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) December 28, 2015

If you're going to try and attack someone for repeating stuff, best to check it wasn't something you actually said.

15 Step: September

Bruce Dickinson is like from the 1930s and probably bellows 'Hallloooo?' into the phone.

"They'll kill that Jeremy Corbyn" reckons Mozzer. Funnily enough, Corbyn's about the only person who escapes the wrath of Grace Jones.

Sony had toyed with buying Bittorrent and the BPI wanted more money from the BBC.

Eddy Temple Morris decided not stand around for the Radio X launch and David Cassidy won't be coming back unless we give him a lot more money. He should try being Ed Sheeran - he's fucking loaded.

Doing good things in Baltimore: Thomas Dolby. Not going to Australia: Chris Brown.

Stevie Wonder isn't going bald.

You know, Emily Ratajkowski still can't see what all the fuss about Blurred Lines was about. Speedy Ortiz knows a creep when they see one, and told them to stay away.

Launching: the free so-called NME

Retiring: Kenny Rogers

Hoping for a second return: Robbie Williams


Part of 15 Step
August

Trades Club rallies for Hebden Bridge

While David Cameron's pointlessly unleashing his Cobra, there's a need for practical help up in Hebden Bridge. The Trades Club is stepping up:

By the people for the people. Love you @thetradesclub #hebdenfloods pic.twitter.com/V9pAdSBnju

— Michele Rashman (@MHRashman) December 27, 2015

I'm DJing at @thetradesclub, Hebden Bridge Saturday January 9th. Let's help them back on their feet after the floods pic.twitter.com/uvSN1iSiSQ

— Tim Burgess (@Tim_Burgess) December 28, 2015

It's not over, no shops, no power. Free hot food and food to take home, bedding children's clothes... & the bar's open #HebdenBridge #Floods

— The Trades Club (@thetradesclub) December 28, 2015

Pipobit: William Guest

William Guest, one of The Pips, as in Gladys Knight And The..., has died.

Guest was a Pip from 1953 through to 1989, appearing on all the Gladys Knight tracks across that time - yes, this, especially:


William was Gladys' cousin; a second cousin, Eleanor, was originally with the band but left to get married.

Post-pipping, William became a CEO of the Crew Records, in partnership with fellow pip Edward Patten.

Guest died on Christmas Eve, from congestive heart failure. He was 74.

"Slap the promoter with stringrays"

The Singapore Enrique Inglesias concert sounds like a 1970s Tom Jones concert, by all accounts:

[Sinagporean President Maithripala] Sirisena said he had been shocked to hear that during the gig, local women removed their bras in public, threw their underwear at the pop star, or rushed on stage to hug and kiss him.

Shocking. Bur Sirisena was measured in his response:

"This is most uncivilised behaviour that goes against our culture," he told a public meeting.
"I don't advocate that these uncivilised women who removed their brassieres should be beaten with toxic stingray tails."

You can hear a but coming, can't you?

"...but those who organised such an event should be."

Blimey. And that, it turns out, can be quite a nasty whipping, according to the Behind The Blade blog:

The abrasive, dried skin of the tail feels like very course sandpaper. Its surface closely resembles sharkskin with hundreds of small bumps varying in size. With just a light feel of the tail, one can clearly see how the texture could easily abrade human skin upon even very light contact. Whipping an opponent with the tail would fiercely rip patches of skin off any target. With some speed, the tail would likely tear deeply through flesh as well.

But that's not all:

The neurotoxin remains in the stingray’s tail skin even as it dries. When whipping an opponent, the stingray tail will break the opponents skin and thereby deliver its neurotoxin. Although the neurotoxin is likely more concentrated when delivered from a live stingray, it is quite powerful nonetheless. In addition to intense local pain that can last up to two days, the neurotoxin can cause chills, fever, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fainting, tremors, seizures, paralysis, an elevated heart rate, decreased blood pressure and, rarely, even death. Wounds often take longer to heal as infection is common and can, if untreated, result in gangrene or tetanus.

This might sound an extreme reaction to a gig, but remember that *checks notes* women were trying to hug a pop singer.

15 Step: August

People were touching up Nicki Minaj's wax effigy, Morrissey claimed he'd been touched up by the TSA while Lenny Kravitz's cock fell out on stage which somehow breached his human rights.

It became illegal to back up your own music but it's still okay for Ryan Adams to copy 1989.

Rather sweetly, the government believed that age ratings on pop videos would somehow mean something.

It wasn't much fun being Hannah Montana and even less fun being a woman near Dre.

One of Living In A Box broke cover.

People at a Sam Smith gig failed to recognise Sam Smith and Skiibii's manager decided he was dead without checking first.

Miley and Nicki were at war with each other, Chris Brown is now at war with Jesus and Palestine is at war with Pharrell Williams.

NOFX have started paying fans to go away.

Tom "The Voice" Jones was told he was no longer required by The Voice. He will now be known as Tom Jones.

Closing: Columbia House

Axed: XFM

Splitting: One Direction

Part of 15 Step
July

15 Step: July

The government put 65daysofstatic on a press release. 65daysofstatic pwnd the government on a press release.

Ariana Grande licked some doughnuts because she hates America, or something and Katy Perry tried to make some nuns homeless, or something.

Michael Jackson had really, really, really wanted to play Jar Jar Binks.

Under pressure, Taylor Swift tweaked her photographer's contract

Someone finally plucked up the courage to drag Damon Albarn off stage but the Phillipines were reluctant to let Chris Brown go.

Three Doors Down stopped a gig to eject a bully while Ryan Jarman stuck up for Courtney Love.

The NME tried to make giving up sound like a good thing.

The BPI started to suggest streaming music might lead to people buying music, in the way they said wouldn't work during the Napster wars.


Part of 15 Step
June

15 Step: June

Mark Kozelek tried on some shit with Laura Snapes. Laura Snapes wasn't having that. Meanwhile, Roger Helmer tried to patronise Charlotte Church.

For the first time thirty years, the NME had UK female-led rock acts on the cover two weeks running.

The moving of new release day meant the end for the Sunday teatime chart show.

Archive delights: Shampoo reviewing Heavenly in the NME; Andy Taylor's Rio wine bar and Lady GaGa's career in gay porn tattoos.

Bono might not like paying taxes, but he does like telling people how to spend them.

The High Court recriminalised ripping CDs for personal use.

Shirley Manson isn't keen on the economics of streaming. To make it worse, Apple launched one. Although they were forced to change the terms by Taylor Swift publicly shaming them. Which led to photographers asking Taylor about their rights.

Ten Walls made a bunch of homophobic comments, but then hoped they wouldn't "lead to thoughts".

Taylor Swift walked backwards. In heels. Although that's nothing compared with Dave Grohl playing on with a broken leg. Having said which, he drew the line at Glastonbury.

It's terrible, you know, looking like Rihanna or having people think you support Donald Trump.

Who cares about rabies, eh? Ariana Grande wasn't happy with animal import rules. If she really wants a fight with the man, though, she should ask about Leicestershire Police scanning Download attendee faces in secret.

Morrissey threw his weight behind #blacklivesmatter while Paul "trouser" Staines used his quasi-anonymous Guido Fawkes blog to suggest Charlotte Church having an accountant made her a hypocrite.

Noel Gallagher was negotiating a comeback nobody wants while Justin Bieber's manager tried to position him as the new Bob Dylan.

Akon will power Africa and Ed Sheeran plays golf.

Smashmouth got pelted with baked goods.

Returning: TFI Friday

Part of 15 Step
May

Apparently even Octopus are listening to The Beatles

With The Beatles coming to streaming, like a Santa arriving on December 28th, there's a thing on their website which shows where people are taking advantage of the new streams.

The Daily Mail explains how it works:

Although official streaming figures are yet to be announced - and Google and Spotify said they likely won't be released until next week - the official The Beatles site features a globe that 'glows yellow' in the regions where people are streaming right now.

Well, there's a thing. Here's a grab:

Goodness, even the oceans are glowing yellow. Presumably that's all the music pirates, then.

Stephen Fry intersects with modern music

Newsbeat got Stephen Fry in to listen to some pop music and say what he thought.

He was, reliably, all high-court-judge-what-is-beatles about his task:

“I could lie, but I couldn't even say what it is. I don't know the names of anybody. I'm not interested,” he admitted. “There's someone called Adelia? Adalia?”

“Adele,” replied the interviewer. “Adele. I've heard of her,” he said.

They played him some Little Mix:

As the English popsters sang the ‘sha-la-la-la, woo-ooo chorus’, the 58 year old asked: “Oh, they're not still singing ‘sha-la-la-la’ are they? It's got bits of Phil Spector right at the background through '70s bubblegum pop into a sort of modern version and it's a hideous, toxic compound. It's basically the musical equivalent of Haribo Starmix.”

Actually, Stephen, that's not really an insult.

The Beagles come to Spotify

A band that wasn't on Spotify is now on Spotify. Experts say this event is culturally significant, as it means that the digitally savvy ones in the family are now going to have to spend most of tomorrow explaining why Apple Music isn't iTunes.

15 Step: May

Eurovision happened and we went to the punk exhibition in Seattle.

A Russian politician described U2's 'free' album as gay pornography, which suggests Alexander Starovoitov is using some awful porn. Meanwhile, Bono tried to make us think that his tax avoidance is business rather than greed.

Someone threw sugar at Adam Levine while Brandon Flowers demanded respect.

For Taylor Swift, being a pop star is as great as we've always suspected. That still doesn't excuse Katie Price having another go at it.

Charlotte Church was on the barricades after the Tories got back in as Andy Burnham hoped Morrissey was the key to the Labour leadership.

Dolores O'Riordan was facing charges following a fracas with an air steward and Rihanna went to war with Batman.

Spotify got obsessed with running.

Neverland was back on the market, presumably after a deep clean.

Absolute Radio was kicked off a farm and Sarah Brightman remained on Earth.

Jack White wrote a song called Music Is Sacred.

Going solo: Bob Collins

Closing: Grooveshark

Axed: Never Mind The Buzzcocks; American Idol

Part of 15 Step
March

Justin Bieber: Strange things happen at Christmas

The time of year so magical that you find yourself applauding Justin Bieber:

so for 1 week it's ok not to be #1. Let's do the right thing & help them win. It's Christmas. @Choir_NHS good luck https://t.co/ORCtFY1k4i

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) December 23, 2015

When Justin Bieber is, effectively, standing next to you to tell Jeremy Hunt to go screw himself, you can only applaud Bieber.

Whoever saw that coming, though?

(Apparently, bookies have now stopped taking bets on the number one, as they think Justin's tweet will have swung it.)

15 Step: April

April 9th was officially Riot Grrl Day.

Hey kids, going to Coachella? Leave everything at home. This might be why Charli XCX pondered sleeping in a bin.

Morrisons overhauled their in-store playlist.

For a price, Don Mclean was prepared to reveal the meaning of American Pie.

The remaining members of GWAR found themselves at war with Dave Brockie's family and Justin Bieber can never go to Argentina again. Or to school proms.

Mumford And Sons can't stand the name of their own band.

Rita Ora changed her hair a bit and MTV literally couldn't recognise her, but Paloma Faith's snake was quite a big deal.

Pink issued a big fuck off to people snitching about her weight and Lauren Mayberry did the same to rape theats.

Labour lost the support of Mick Hucknall which was less surprising than the Rifles coming out for UKIP.

Joni Mitchell was unwell, but not as ill as some thought.

Steve Albini wasn't buying in to Tidal and Courtney Love had trouble with publishing.

Brandon Flowers was concerned at what a bad Moromon Mitt Romney is and Cumbrians were worried Sandi Thom was tardy paying bills.

Returning: Kate Jackson; some watered down version of Crystal Castles

Splitting: Noah And The Whale
Going solo: Tom Chaplin

Part of 15 Step
March

Joss Stone acclaimed as... wait, what now?

It's that time of the year when magazines, websites, podcasts, television shows, groups, bloggers and Facebook Marketing Entities hand out 'best of the year' accolades.

Billboard has done a list, and amongst the winners this year is Joss Stone.

Joss, it appears, is the Reggae Artist of the Year.

You're surprised. How do you think the Jamaican Observer feels?

Puzzled, the paper has dug into the Billboard archive to see if it had somehow missed Stone being hailed as the greatest modern reggae act. It hadn't:

The album did not impress Billboard magazine writer Steven Horowitz who described Stone’s ‘reggae experiment’ as “unconvincing”.

He added: “For more than a decade, Joss Stone has been a serial genre-hopper. Switching from R&B to blues, funk to rock, the 28-year-old Brit has powered six albums with soulful vocals beyond her years. The songs are technically impressive, as expected from Stone, but unconvincing.”

Makes you wonder what the guy at number two must be like. Some chap called Bobby Marley.

Bookmarks: Throwing Muses

If you're anything like me, you'll have been hoping for a comprehensive guide to Throwing Muses' discography to reveal itself. It looks like there's been a great one on the web for a while:

CAD 2013 _Red Heaven_ produced by Throwing Muses with Stuart Boyer
1992 furious / firepile / dio / dirty water / stroll / pearl //
summer st / vic / backroad / the visit / dovey / rosetta stone
/ carnival wig

Leslie Langston plays bass. Bob Mould (ex Husker Du) sings on
"Dio". A bit less stunning on the songwriting front, but at least
it still proved that the band were still alive. Initial UK CDs
(CAD D 2013) came with...

15 Step: March

The one thing that might have been interesting about Five Seconds Of Summer isn't, while Justin Bieber wanted to cling to purity.

Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith had a weight loss contest, like they work in a office or something. But that wasn't the dullest pop story of the month. This was.

Noel Gallagher did the I don't want my kids talking like Ali G thing again; got a free pass on that again.

Shirley Manson didn't call Kanye West "the loudest clown in town", but Us magazine couldn't quite come to believe that and The Independent struggled with how memes work thinking Britney was writing them herself.


Armani insisted that Madonna didn't know how to use a cape safely. Britney, meanwhile, couldn't even cope with hair extensions.

A court decided that rape anthem Blurred Lines was ripped off Marvin Gaye, apart from the rape bits. Didn't stop Thicke from being invited to an HIV fundraiser.

James Bay is just a hat.

Conor McNicholas is getting Barclays to tweak its comms department a little. He might want to help out Toyota, who aren't that good at social.

Indiana legalised homophobia; Wilco shunned Indiana.

Someone out of Nuclear Hellfrost did something to Dimebag Darrell's grave, for no obvious reason.

ElectroVelvet were chosen to lose at Eurovision.

You know what was rare at Reading/Leeds? Women on stage, that's what. Some people thought that Glastobury's bill had too many Kanye Wests in it. And everyone except the council and promoters knew that T in the Park was in the wrong place.

Taylor Swift bought the perfect domain for hosting hardcore Taylor Swift porn, but won't be using it.

Madonna thought that it was unfair she was missing from Radio 1, but with less live music on the station, maybe her records will be needed to plug the gaps.

The World Health Organisation suggested, to protect your ears, you should only spend 28 seconds at any gig. Fewer, if it's Coldplay.

Closing: Holy Moly; Manchester Roadhouse

Launching: Tidal, the "artist owned" streaming service

Merging: Sparks and Franz Ferdinand

Quitting: Zayn Malik, and Iggy Azalea quits social media. For about ten seconds.

Resurrected: New Wave version Ministry

Returning: Daphne And Celeste

• Part of 15 Step
• February
  

15 Step: February

Sam Smith might have won Grammys, but Shirley Manson and Taylor Swift won the Grammys. While Kasabian opened the BAFTAS like a broken sewer enhances a river.

Paloma Faith was prepared to beg to land the 007 soundtrack. She didn't beg enough.

If he didn't take medication, Noel Gallagher would drop dead. Really, or are you just trying to cheer us up, Noel? Or have you gone and spoiled it all by putting a price on an Oasis reunion?

Tyler The Creator launched a TV network which turned out to be a website.

Sly Stone was awarded five million in back royalties.

Yahoo adding a simple 'download audio' button to Tumblr caused nightmares for some users.

Zane Lowe heard Apple Music calling and quit Radio One. Fearne Cotton followed him out the door to spend more time making panel shows for ITV2, probably. More fundamentally, the shift of release days to Friday meant the end of the Sunday teatime chart show.

Jack White's rider included a recipe for guacamole. When people found out, they giggled a bit. Jack White doesn't like being laughed at.

The Tories had a silent auction for a photo of Suggs, which seems odd with him being very anti-Tory.

Streaming data was added to the album charts, which wasn't as unexpected as Australia being added to Eurovision 2015.

The Liverpool Lomax closed in a druggy haze.

It's okay; Azealia Banks can't possible be a homophobe as she has a vagina, and All That Remains don't understand why people are upset with the word "faggot", cause it's just a word, right?

Who could explain Parental Advisory stickers and the vinyl resurgence? Step forward, Gennaro Castaldo.

NME sales were now half what they were for the Melody Maker when it closed; they carried on doing their doings, though, giving Suede a godlike genius award and then undoing the goodwill by giving everything else to Kasabian. People started to suggest the NME was heading for freesheet status.

Madonna falling over at the Brits was the talking point of the evening. Unless you read The Times.

Slayer fans got so out of control, Tony Araya told them to back the fuck off.

Katy Perry shocked to discover the music industry isn't like she thought it would be when she was nine.

Splitting: Steve Forrest leaves Placebo

Reuniting: Blur

Part of 15 Step
January
February

15 Step: January

Starting our annual month-by-month review of the year...

Madonna attempted to use Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela in a promo campaign for her new record. Her explanations made it all worse. Meanwhile, Isreali police found time to investigate leaks of Madge tracks.

Dears forced Deers to become Hinds.

James Blunt had a hissy fit when Chris Bryant suggested he might have found it easy being a musician having come from a family wiht a few quid behind it; in US politics, John Boehner tried Taylor Swift gifs to communicate with the public.

Brian Harvey announced he was carrying out his own investigation into child abuse. It's unclear if he started with the Sia video.

Wes out of Puddle of Mudd got "confused" rode a luggage carousel at Denver airport.

Tesco flogged Blinkbox to TalkTalk, and they double-pinky swore it wasn't cursed in any way. Sony finally admitted that Omnifone had been a dead end.

Sarah Brightman planned to go into space, and Michelle Keegan planned to go into pop.

Sam Smith turned up to work for SeaWorld. Australian seaworld, which, as Smith pointed out, doesn't have Orcas. It just imprisons dolphins and polar bears. Didn't hurt him when the Brits shortlist came out. Nor did ripping off Tom Petty, come to that.

The Canadian copyright police turned out to be helping themselves to other people's content.

Together at, um, shall we say last? Rita Ora and Charli XCX.

Splitting: The Black Crowes, Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore

Reforming: Babes In Toyland

Part of 15 Step
February