EMI plan B: Send for Barry Scott

EMI's desperate attempts to find some solution to its debt problem has set it seeking for a new head of its recorded music division in a strange place. The FT reckons Elio Leoni Sceti is leading the shortlist - the man who has been responsible for marketing Cillit Bang and those bemusing, ever-mutating variations on Finish dishwashing powder.

We look forward to the prospect of Coldplay albums being sold like Calgon, complete with poorly-dubbed repurposed German adverts.

Is it really wise, in a difficult market, to get someone from a totally different sort of product environment? With digital being handled by a bloke who admits he hardly bought any music this century, is a cleaning product guy really a wise idea?

Glastonbury 2008: Jimmy Cliff

Mr Cliff has seen a lot of what the world can do - although nothing would have prepared him for meeting Amy Winehouse backstage.



[Part of Glastonbury 2008 video]

Glastonbury web round-up: Battle royale

Yes, yes, Noel Gallagher was wrong about Jay-Z. There was no reason that Mr. Z shouldn't have headlined the festival (although five years ago might have made more sense) and really, the racially-tinged 'this isn't for your type of music' complaints were best ignored.

But, of course, they weren't, were they? Like an imagined slight in the Big Brother house, the mutterings of discontent have been seized on, and repeated and inflated and turned into a focus rather than treated as an irrelevance.

BBC News watched:

The New York hip-hop star fired up the crowd with an introduction that included a BBC interview in which Oasis star Noel Gallagher said hip-hop was "wrong" for Glastonbury.

Jay-Z then took the stage to the strains of the Oasis hit Wonderwall.

"So they say you guys didn't want me here to be here tonight," he said.

"They said you guys weren't into hip-hop." The crowd responded by chanting his name to show their support.

"Thanks for all the love here tonight," the star added, saying Glastonbury had "embraced my culture".

In effect, though, wasn't all this effectively agreeing with much of what Gallagher said? That hip-hop wasn't core Glastonbury? Wasn't the point more that, actually, there was nothing unusual about having a black American perform on the Pyramid stage? And that Jay-Z's culture and the Pilton culture are just different parts of a musical continuum?

But Jay-Z needed the ghost of Gallagher, as otherwise it was just a standard show, records Gigwise:

Contrary to popular belief Jay-Z was not joined onstage by any of his celebrity friends but did sample an array of artists during the set including AC/DC on '99 Problems' as well as U2, Estelle and Rihanna.

Away from all this, Simon Munnery has written a piece for the BBC Glastonbury site:

In a way Glastonbury is the opposite of the world; outside Glastonbury the rich live in luxury and the poor in squalor - in Glastonbury the rich, the ticket buyers, live in squalor while the workers live in comparative splendour. It's like a cell with many different organs within.

Why doesn't someone give him some money to make TV programmes?

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Fill your pockets with Stone's

Joss Stone isn't worried if you download her stuff without approval. Not in the slightest:

“I think it’s great,” adding “Yeah, I love it. I think it’s brilliant and I’ll tell you why. Music should be shared. I believe that this is how music turned into like, some crazy business. The only part about music that I dislike is the business that is attached to it. Now, if music is free, then there is no business, there is just music.”

Obviously, you might feel a little confused as to why, if commercialisation is so bad, Stone lovingly embraced doing ads for Cadburys. Maybe she just dreams of a day when there is no chocolate industry, just chocolate?

It turns out she does want some business, though:

“As long as you come to my show, and have a great time listening to the live show it’s totally cool, I don’t mind,”

So: distribution deals and publishing - bad; ticketmaster mark-ups and venue bans on photography - good. Hope that's cleared that up.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Glastonbury 1998: Western Eyes

Yes, I'd fled by Sunday lunchtime, figuring that there was no point in staying on a site where you couldn't get from stage to stage without an hour of cautious shuffling, spending the day being miserable and wet and not being able to see the bands you wanted to - the new bands tent was constantly full of people who were just hiding from the rain.

The trains out of Castle Carey were full, too - the railway company had hopefully provided everybody with those little blue overshoes you get in model homes to protect the trains, seemingly oblivious that the large numbers of passengers clambering onboard were covered in mud from nose to toenail. And have you ever tried to pull an overshoe on a Doc Martin boot anyway?

To my dying day I will recall the toilets at Temple Meads, and the sweet joy of being able to come out with less mud on you than you came in with. I'm telling myself it was mud. Mud. Yes.

So, in tribute to Bristol, and the people of Bristol, and the sweet, sweet railway toilets of Bristol, here's Portishead doing Western Eyes.

[WARNING: quite stobe-filled]



[Part of Glastobury 1998]

Glastonbury 2008: Punch or slap?

So, judge for yourselves - was it a full-on assault, or was it a bit of slap?



[Part of Glastonbury 2008 and Glastonbury 2008 video]

Glastonbury paper round: Winehouse fray breakdown

It's not unusual for journalists to spice up their copy with a few fact-skirting extra details, but reading Rav Singh's coverage of Amy Winehouse's fan spat, you wonder if he realised the event he was embroidering was on national television live. And, erm, on video on his own paper's website linked from the paragraph where he upgraded a half-hearted annoyed slapping to this:

The singer first used an elbow then threw a flurry of punches after leaving the Pyramid stage to saunter along the front row as she sang Rehab.

The 100,000-strong crowd had lapped up hits...

Although, of course, not that sort of hits.

The Sunday Mirror at least admits that - as with the set - while there may have been intent, there wasn't much contact:

Amy Winehouse made a chaotic appearance at Glastonbury last night - spitting chewing gum at the crowd, rambling incoherently and attempting to punch one fan.

The People sounds a little confused:

Amy Winehouse is refusing to leave hospital until a court decides the fate of her hubby.

She feels soothed and secure in the £2,000-a-night London Clinic and plans to stay put until BLAKE FIELDERCIVIL is sentenced in 12 days' time.

Okay, they might have gambled on her not doing Glastonbury, but she'd been in Hyde Park on Friday - how do they explain that?

She was well enough to appear at Glastonbury last night and the Nelson Mandela 90th birthday concert on Friday.

But she is now back in the Harley Street hospital. Mum Janis, 53, said: "She likes it there and feels secure. She doesn't have any worries while she's in there. "Going into hospital has allowed her to be properly rested and cared for."

So she's unable to face the world, except for when she's stood in front of 100,000 people staring at her.

The People hasn't got any mention of fan-scrap incident, which is understandable, in as much as it's not really a functioning newspaper any more.

For the Telegraph it was a "scuffle"; the Sunday Times hedges with "appears to punch a fan" (oddly linking to a YouTube video rather than the more official-looking video their sister News of the World has.

The Sunday Telegraph has sent Stanley Johnson to Pilton - or "London Mayor Boris Johnson's father, Stanley Johnson" as the headline snappily titles him. So, what does London Mayor Boris Johnson's father, Stanley Johnson, make of it all?

In the early hours, when gentlemen of England still lay abed, I watch convoys of fork-lift trucks shunting piled-high boxes of baps to different dispersal points around the valley.

It's a little known fact that Glastonbury is all about the bread products, but an army marches on its stomach and London Mayor Boris Johnson's father, Stanley Johnson is determined to push an analogy that this is like, you know, war, but with Jay-Z.

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Glastonbury Flickr dip

Kosso catches a snap proving that the Eavises have introduced a swift system for dealing with complaints this year; David E Young captures the essential somewhere over there there's a band-ness of festivals; Coderkind proves not everyone loves Amy Winehouse and Will Rose captures Duffy lost in a moment.

Oh, and Project365 shows the best way to enjoy the festival.

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

This week just gone

The tne most-read individual stories this week:

1. R Kelly's sex video - not even illegal porn any more
2. RIP Joaquin Tavares
3. Brett Anderson's Wilderness video
4. Beth Ditto - naked for a reason
5. Robbie Williams hearts Keira Knightley
6. Robbie Williams plays a round with a girl
7. RIP Nick Sanderson
8. Glastonbury 2008
9. Eavis flogs off his wellies
10. Cathal Coughlan: a weekend of videos

We plugged this stuff:


The Beep Seals - Things That Roar


Camper Van Beethoven - Popular Songs...


Glissando - With Our Arms Wide Open...


Free Kitten - Inherit


Experimental Dental School - Jane Doe Loves Me


Thomas White - I Dream Of Black


Sigur Ros - Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust


Glasvegas - Geraldine


The Cement Garden DVD

Glastonbury 2008: Candi Staton

Or "Canadace Station", as she seems to have been dubbed on YouTube:



[Part of Glastonbury 2008 videos]

Glastonbloggy: A quick scamper

BBDO say their joke is a repeat, but then Glastonbury is about the classics, isn't it?

Gowherehiphop catches Lupe Fiasco's slightly-more-political-than-Borrell-at-Hyde-Park speech:

“During his set at the Glastonbury Festival in the U.K. last night, rapper Lupe Fiasco spoke out about “tyrannical world leaders”, clumping Zimbabwe’s longtime dictator and the American president in the same category “Fuck Robert Mugabe, Fuck George Bush,” he said. Fuck politics, democrats, socialists, the Labor party. Music’s what it’s all about.”

David Cameron, we're given to understand, has already welcomed this endorsement of the Conservatives.

John Demetriou takes the Mail to task for its less-than-enthusiastic embrace of the festival:

Let’s move past several paragraphs of negativity and nastiness and get to something else: “With a captive audience, traders ramped up their charges…you could buy a sausage sandwich if you had £6 to spare and a mocha to wash that down for £3.”

You can just hear the selfish old bitter cunts now, as they read this story pretending not to look at the pictures of fruity looking girls swanning by: “ooooooh, how much? hooowww much? And I’m going to have to pay for this!”

The reader's responses are also explored:

Chris said: “How can the Fire Authority allow people to pitch tents so close to one another? This site is a fire disaster waiting to happen.”

Yeeeeah, close it dooowwn, now. Nuurrgh.

What an absolute spanner. What the hell has pitching tents close together in a wet and damp environment got to do with fire hazards, and if there were fire hazards, don’t you think this would have been looked into?

It's a good point, though - we're betting none of those tents have got fire escapes, much less clear signage pointing out the emergency exits. Something must be done.

[Part of the Glastonbury Weekend]

Glaston the box: Day two, evening

Given the between songs stuff which the BBC have left in during the Winehouse set, you have to wonder what the hell they've been axing when you get a very obvious jump cut from song to song.

Much of the between tracks bits we've seen have been attempts to raise the status of jailed thug Blake to some sort of national hero - when the audience tried to object, Winehouse lectured them about "being rude". We're treated to a rambling reminiscence about how they met - "he hit me over the head with a cricket bat" she reveals, before realising that with his reputation, it's probably best to point out that this wasn't literal.

She's almost gone over a couple of times, too - once neatly saved by a backing dancer. You wonder if they're actually trained doctors, too; the insurance bill would be greatly reduced if the help is on stage rather than in the wings.

And is it worth it, this performance? Not really. Even if you didn't care for what she did, you couldn't deny that she did it well, but this version of her is more a demonstration of what she had. A Joe Longthorne version of Amy Winehouse. Sure, it's unquestionably a bloody impressive for a woman who was at death's door (or at least up the same street) this time last week - but that makes it sadder. Do we really need a spectacle of a woman apparently risking her life, and certainly teetering on the edge of disaster, to warm us up for Jay-Z?

She's dancing like a nervous geologist passing a particularly persistent parasite, too.

Winehouse has kicked off BBC Two's coverage for the evening, where things are helmed by Laverne and Radcliffe and, erm, an introduction where Andrew Marr suggests we take lots of underpants to Pilton.

Back over on BBC Three, earlier, we leaped into the middle of what we thought at first was an interview with someone from a previous series of Big Brother. Suddenly, we realised it wasn't - quite - but instead was Will Young. Even Young might have been surprised at how much screen time he got, indulging with Bowman in the creation of what a straight man might imagine a gay man's fantasy world to be. Something about Jay-Z being supported by Dale Winton, since you ask.

More surprising, though, was Zane Lowe's fawning in the face of Will, praising him as a "credible artist". It turns out that they were waiting for Hot Chip to take the stage, and so we were watching a bobbing boat clinging to a giant Will Young flotation device. We say this often, we say this each year, but: why not just slap on some recorded music in the lulls between live stuff?

Damn, though: it's spooky how close to Edwyn Collins Reggie Youngblood sometimes sounds.

[Parts of this post have been made possible through the generous assistance of the Mr Copper Foundation; part of Glastonbury 2008]

Well...

She's turned up, at least...

Glastonbury 1998: Lady Of The Flowers

A brief glimpse of a smiling John Peel, and then we're in to a slice of Placebo's 1998 Glastonbury set that, clearly, has been lifted from someone's Brian Molko VHS stash - though it how survived from the endless freeze-framing, we'll never know.



[Part of Glastonbury 1998]

Glaston the box: Day two

Now, that's horrifying: the Press Red service crashes while loading - Neon Neon are just kicking off I Told Her In Alderaan on the right hand side, but the television is locked on Crowded House on the left. It must be what middle age feels like - desperate to hang out on the young people's side, but being forced to languish in the middle of the road.

By the time the system has been rebooted, Neon Neon are just shooting themselves in the foot by bringing on Har Mar Superstar. NB, Neon Neon: this is not what most people mean by the phrase "very special guest". It's interesting to see that Har Mar has given up on the seedy porn look in favour of something a little more owner-of-a-failing-sports-bar-in-the-midwest.

There's little escape; demands of the tennis mean the other channel choices are blank until darkness falls on SE11, so it's this, or Crowded House. When, by the way, did Joe Longthorne take over as the lead singer with Crowded House? It would make some sort of sense to sign Longthorne up as replacement for lost lead singers, now I come to think of it - the man of a million voices could fit right in any group as a replacement without much disruption. Especially if the original lead sounded like Shirley Bassey to a greater or lesser extent.

Duffy, back on BBC Three proper, is trying to show why everyone's excited by her; still can't see it, though. It's worth noting, however, that she is dressed like the set-up to a punchline on a dirty seaside postcard.

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Glastonbury 2008: We are the MGMT

In the ever-present, always-on world, it's no surprise that this weekend's performances are hitting the net almost as soon as they happen. Last night's MGMT, for example, is already up:



More YouTubeage from 2008 to come
Candi Staton - You've Got The Love
Amy Winehouse fightstar
Jimmy Cliff - Wild World
Noah And The Whale - Five Years Time
Band Of Horses - Older

Update:

Glastonbloggy: Dissertations and diversions

Guardian blogger Alex Hoban gives Beth Ditto a gift, a dissertation about Beth Ditto:

So, when my Glastonbury work brief included the task of interviewing Beth, I knew this was my best chance of getting one over a friend of mine who'd been honoured enough to present her Julian Barnes-based disseration to the man himself at what I imagine was a cranium-crumblingly dull literary conference.

And it happened, just as I imagined. Entering her dressing room she fanned herself forward in a breezy floral dress like a new Aphrodite against which beauty must be measured. Many platitudes were exchanged as I handed her the chalice of my endeavours and, visibly enthused by the whole situation, she promised to read it and get back in touch to let me know what she thought.

A big important book all about how important Beth Ditto. However did he know?

Holy Fuck are going in prepared:

We’re warming up tonight with a show at Proud Galleries in Camden. There’s currently a Sid Vicious photo exhibit here, so as a tribute I will be getting fucked up and miming all my bass parts while Mat our sound engineer does the real work from behind my amp. Has the makings of the best Holy Fuck show of all time.

Tomorrow we head to the Glastonbury Festival where we’re playing the John Peel Stage. Hopefully the hippies are kinder to Jay-Z than they were to Kanye. And hopefully we don’t drown in the mud as it’s already been raining and continues to do so today. Brian is set as he has his Canadian-branded wellies.

Let's hope his wellingtons find favour - Fashionologie takes Daisy Lowe to task for a "no-no":

This year's Glastonbury Festival just kicked into gear today, and what do you know . . . Daisy Lowe popped up goofing off for the cameras in a slouchy black top, PVC pants, and muddy wellies. Considering that the fashion flock watches Glastonbury to see what Kate pops up wearing, it's not so smart for an up-and-coming model like Daisy to follow Kate's suit — at the same event — a year later.

On the other hand, wearing wipe-clean trousers makes sense when you're kneedeep in mud, surely?

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Glastonbury Flickr dip

TimS has posted a snapshot of a flipchart with the latest Glasto stats on: 342 crimes, 33 transfers to hospitals, 1 arrested tent thief and "crime virtually zero" (although what the tent thief was doing isn't clear, then.)

Hey, you sass that Norman Cook? There's a man who knows where his towel is. Photo by Whiper under a creative commons license.

Meanwhile, it seems that Adam Buxton hasn't completed the BBC training video on location filming and this is as close as anyone got to Shakin Stevens and survived.

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Glastonbury web round-up: Raging at the rain

Metronomy are having a lovely time at Glastonbury, although Gigwise shows they might be enjoying the grumbling as much as the fun:

Speaking to Gigwise about a radio interview where Eavis was quoted as saying there is wall to wall sunshine. Bass player Gabriel said: “It doesn’t matter because I’m having good time – but it’s such blatant lying.”

Oscar was singled out by the band for being a Glastonbury virgin, and a somewhat subdued Oscar quipped: “I haven’t seen any evidence that it’s so special. It sounds really harsh but maybe I will. We don’t want to be ungrateful. I am having a good time.”

Q went to see Shakin' Stevens, who seems to have confused his invite to play with an interest in what he's doing now:

[T]he former chart-topping star may have misjudged the situation a little when he announced: "We're going to do a few tracks from the new album."

Surely this would have been an opportunity to wheel out the entire back catalogue of hits rather than using it as a showcase for new songs?

Especially since he didn't do Green Door. And, as Q observed, there'd been a literally-minded request in the shape of:

a punter in the audience carrying a green door

And is the NME still running eye-catching headlines that don't really stack up?

Yes:

Kings Of Leon defy the BBC at Glastonbury

Really? How?

Scroll down, and down, and down, and you find this:

"The people at the BBC asked us not to play any new songs," explained Caleb introducing the track, "but we're going to have to ruffle some feathers tonight because it's Glastonbury."

So, it's not actually defiance as such, it's just turning down a polite request. And it's probably not that seriously asked anyway - after all, hardly anyone would recognise an old Kings of Leon track, so it doesn't make much of a difference if they slip in some new ones, does it?

Glastonbury 1998: Road Rage

It's not just because it was hell on earth that 98 seems like the pivotal Glastonbury - there were signs all over that things were shifting. The sense of being isolated from the rest of the world was vanishing quickly, as mobile recharging stands and cashpoints were popping up all over. Down in the market area, slick corporate booths flogging phones sat alongside the blankets and patchouli-scented headscarves. Robbie Williams knew it was the place to reboot a stalled career. And it was the year where the TV coverage started to ramp up. In 1999, the BBC would be covering Glastonbury like a heavy-handed Tory council CCTV initiative.

There were gaps in 98, though - so, sorry, there doesn't seem to be an Ultrasound or Kenickie as the second stage didn't seem to get any daylight acts recorded. There is, however, footage of Catatonia, so hopefully this'll do:



[Part of Glastonbury 1998]

Bjork gets annoyed, won't go wild

Bjork - the planned headliner for Vince Power and Geoff Oakes Go Wild In The Country Knebworth fest - has pulled out with a week to go.

If that sounds last minute, according to her explanation, it sums up the festival's approach:

"Organisers Geoff Oakes and Vince Power for Renaissance have been unable to secure any staging, sound and lighting for this festival making it impossible for the headline artists to perform and are unable to fulfill their contractual obligations to all of the artists contracted to perform at their event," a statement read.

Are there now so many festivals we're facing a scrap for rigs and speakers? Has it come to this?

Glastonbury paper round: Scrubbing the mud of rumour from the pure doorstep of truth

Effectively, the Sun's coverage is hanging this morning on triumphantly blowing the Doherty isn't coming story out the water:

DESPITE rumours of him going awol - PETE DOHERTY took to his Glasto headline slot like a duck to water.
[...]
Pete was top notch, performing to a dedicated following who finally believe he cares more about the music than the drugs.

Hang about, Nadia Mendoza - that sounds like a dangerous deviation from the paper's party line, there.

Nadia's coverage of Franz Ferdinand's discovery of the risks of turning up as a surprise too high up the bill is pretty good, too:

SECRET giggers FRANZ FERDINAND should have gone down a storm - but when they took to the stage DIZZIE RASCAL fans were left wondering what had happened to their hero.

The Scottish rockers played a surprise set on the Park Stage before the British rapper, leaving the crowd bewildered and second guessing if the hip-hopper would turn up.

Polite applause and confusion left what should have been a fantastic set somewhat tainted.

We were surprised, though, that Nadia seemed both bemused how The Subways could be familiar enough to be on the main stage, and yet also convinced their songs were too over-familiar to be worth bothering with.

While The Sun is berating those who fall for rumours, it's slightly kinder on the people who ran stories about Dolly Parton's surprise plans - what with that being the boss, and all. No Dolly, no way, as she's playing at the other end of the country.

Perhaps surprisingly, the Mirror is leading its coverage with an interview with Martha Wainwright, and a sad tale of lost footwear:

She explained: "I did have my favourite wellies that I wore when I went to Africa with Damon Albarn (on a fact-finding mission to Mali for the Blur frontman’s Africa Express project). But they were in such bad shape by the end of Glastonbury last year, I just kicked them off and said goodby as I was leaving the site. They had done their duty. I’ve got to buy some there this year, but the mud can’t be anything as bad as last year."

The paper also found tickets on eBay for a tenner. So, Michael Eavis has finally beaten the touts - by tanking the resale value of the tickets.

The Mail has spotted Kate Moss, and so can now go home happy. She didn't speak to them, so the paper made do with the next best thing:

Tom Knowles, 27, a retail manager, from Ashby de la Zouch, Leicestershire, said: 'Every time the heavens opened, I felt a little down. I kept thinking "oh God is this it" but it kept clearing after 10, 15 minutes tops.

The Guardian's coverage focuses more heavily on the music, offering a handy scorecard of the acts so far:

Candi Staton - 9
Ting Tings - 8
Vampire Weekend - 8
Glasvegas - 7

Glasvegas probably lost a couple of points for being on a rival sponsor's stage.

The Telegraph has sent Tom Chivers down to battle through the crowds, although he does seem to be relying on his rivals to keep him in the loop:

I read in the Guardian that "despite the weather", and to Emily Eavis' obvious disappointment, "at least one in 10 festivalgoers are still wearing wellies". How odd.

But he rallies, and gets a scoop of his own:

And finally, a Such Small Portions exclusive - according to our sources (in this case, an authoritative-looking man overheard talking on the phone as he walked through the press tent), Michael Eavis has booked the headline for next year: Morrissey. Remember, you heard it here first. Unless it's not true, of course, in which case you didn't.

Morrissey? Bloody hell - the tickets'll be lucky to make a fiver on eBay, then...

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Meanwhile, over on ITV...

You could hear the sigh of relief releasing itself from Television Centre a country mile away, as it became increasingly clear that Mandela's 90th Birthday Party was going to have to shift from being solely a celebration of his life to having a political angle as Zimbabwe became harder and harder to ignore. Sure, nobody would suggest that calling for fair elections in Harare should be balanced with getting a spokesperson in to insist that there should be more repression, not less, but having got boiled over Live Earth and Live 8, you imagine that BBC management must have been relieved to not worry about another knees-up turning a little bit op-ed.

As it turned out, though, they needn't have worried, as it fell to Johnny Borrell to be the voice of the world's conscience. "All we are saying is democracy for Zimbabwe" he pleaded. Or would have done, had he not stumbled over the 'democracy' - a bit like Mugabe, really.

Winehouse did make it out of hospital - although, as she apparently substituted "free Blakey my fella" for "free Nelson Mandela" during the finale, perhaps it would have been better if she hadn't done. Unless morality has shifted so badly that we're suggesting political activism and boorish barroom brawls are now indistinguishable. (Mind you, we've only got the Sun's word for it that she sang those words.)

Glastonbury 1998: The Life Of Riley

The Lightning Seeds 98 set marked another piece of Glastonbury's legendary piss-poor planning. On the first night, England were due to play Colombia in World Cup Match, upon which hung the chances of the team's progression to be crushingly defeated in the middle stages of the contest. Perhaps hoping that the various attractions of the festival might keep people away from the prospect of Jimmy Hill in his lucky St Georges bow tie - on a big screen, mother - the decision was taken to show the match only in the cinema field.

It might have just about worked, too, had the start of World Cup Grandstand (as it still was then, correctly) not dovetailed with the Lightning Seeds finishing their set on the Pyramid Stage with a rousing Three Lions. Stood in the cinema field, you could hear thousands of voices raised insisting there'd be no more years of hurt before the Seeds went off the stage and their audience turned to traipse towards the cinema stage. Up some narrow, already muddy lanes.

Luckily, realising they had unleashed a health and safety nightmare, the organisers suddenly decided to patch the match through to the screens at the side of the stage.

Then it started pissing down anyway, so all but the strongest gave up before the half-time business.

In order to avoid health and safety nightmares here, and because live Three Lions was so ropey it doesn't seem to have made it onto YouTube, here's them doing The Life Of Riley instead:



[Part of Glastonbury 1998]

Glastonbury web round-up: Third reich is wrong

Joe Lean has, the NME tells us, compared himself to Hitler during the Jing Jang Jong's set. Not, unfortunately, in the sense that he's about to escape justice, but simply because he looked a bit like him in a video:

Onstage, Lean explained that he unfortunately looked like Hitler in the video for recent single 'Where Do You Go', adding that this was "not a good thing".

Although, of course, it's not as bad as thinking like Hitler. Having said which, you can beat Labour in a by-election doing that these days.

The NME's coverage does seem to have hit on "eye-catching headline on a ho-hum story that actually says the opposite" framework for Glastonbury. So, we also get this:

The Gossip's Beth Ditto at Glastonbury: 'Jay-Z is guilty'

Only for the story to reveal that he's guilty in a good way:

"I'm so jealous of you, camping to see Jay-Z," Ditto said shortly into the set. "Seriously, I'm so fucking jealous. Jay-Z: guilty of making this festival good!"

Still, let's just ponder this for a moment: who is actually stopping Ditto from camping to wait and see Jay-Z? If she's that jealous, why doesn't she send a minion to Bristol to pick up some stuff from Millets and pitch a tent?

And is it just us, or does this "ooh, Jay-Z's made this a good festival" just smack of the most desperate bid to sound contrairian? I don't ever recall Ditto having accused Glastonbury of not being good in the past, and certainly never bemoaning the lack of hip-hop stars on the bill.

Meanwhile, Gigwise shows how to write a headline that sums up the story honestly, and with passion:

Lightspeed Champion Declares Love For Pukka Pies At Glastonbury

Q meanwhile is slightly hobbled by its official role as "partner", and so is having to do all the public service. Actually, the story about Billy Bragg, Dirty Pretty Things and Bluetones doing charity work for the guitars-for-prison charity is a strong one, and it's in a noble cause. It's a pity they've hidden it under an apologetic heading:

You have the right to remain LOUD!

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Glastobox: Watching from a safe distance

Were The Feeling doing I Thought It Was Over live? Really live? It didn't sound like it was coming from a stage in a unseasonally autumnal field.

BBC Three is currently being anchored by Edith Bowman and Zane Lowe - Lowe, surely, must be wondering if he's ever going to get any work from the BBC besides festivals and the Evening Session slot by now. Clearly, the City Of Domes that is modern Radio One means he can't do that forever, and it looks like he's attempting to slightly reposition himself enough to open some other lines of employment. Calmer, controlled, almost suave. But he's never going to get a National Lottery themed gameshow, is he?

Bowman is laughing like a tractor sinking into a slurry tank; Rufus Hound is filling up acres of air time with those pointless roving reports that they seem to think are integral to the programme - Hound does 'em well, but it doesn't alter the fact the reason why most of us are watching on TV is we don't want to spend time with the sort of eccentrically-behatted types who clutter up the campsites like a wacky invading army, so we really don't want to hear what they have to say. Especially when, as the woman who was just on, it's "I have a different outfit each day, pink yesterday, multi-colour today... these are my friends from London, but I see them most weekends despite coming from..." Where? Wales? Scotland? Spain? Nope... "... Kent." Not all the way from Kent to London, a distance of less than no miles.

Lupe Fiasco has, somewhat optimistically, encouraged people to sing along "if you know the words." The audience tried, but thought the words were "polite cheer".

Edith and Zane are trying to talk up the Jay-Z set - "word has definitely got to him about the reaction to his set" suggests Zane, letting us into the secret we wouldn't have heard unless we had ears or eyes of some sort.

Editors were pretty good - you can see why people peg them as a bit like Coldplay - they even have the same wet beards, but it's like comparing a microwave curry with the proper deal in a restuarant. Yes, there's a sense of the flavours being similar, but only one offers a real experience of textures, and surprises, and satisfaction.

This year's entertainment value has been increased greatly by adding the Guardian's Great Lyrics booklets, allowing countless rounds of 'One song to the tune of another'.

[Part of Glastonbury 2008]

Glastonbury blog round-up: A broad umbrella

At the moment, it's one-nil to the stay-at-homes. Our Man In Newcastle relishes being in Newcastle:

There was a moment earlier today that I kicked myself for not attending Glastonbury.

A quick look at the webcam and it looked, well, dry. And there are few better places in the world than a dry Glastonbury.

But then I just checked again and this is what the place looks like now and all of a sudden I’m glad I’ll be tuning into to it on the sofa later.

Yes, it's pouring. Just like Carol Kirkwood claimed it wouldn't.

Mind you, someone sees this as an opportunity, claims the Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe:

In a bid to break the drought, the South Australian Government has made a bid to buy the Glastonbury Festival and move it to Adelaide.

The Premier, Mike Rann said that rain was so predictable at the festival that it could help to turn things around in South Australia, facing another summer of drought.

They could just try hiring Michael Eavis to tell them it's raining.

Tamsin is also glad to be home:

I just waved off 3 little sisters and a de-facto brother-in-law heading for Glasto. Again. They are braver than me. I am weak. If it had been a sunny day I might have managed to get my head together. But as it is, rain and clouds and mud on the agenda, and a night of dreaming about WHAT IF, I've decided to listen to my inner voice screaming "For fuck sake NO!" and cut my losses with Glasto 2008. Hey ho. All that planning and being excited for nought. Nice one cosmic joker!

The Beat Happening is coming at you from the press tent, via the magic of wifi:

I have to admit, since I got here it’s all pretty much gone by the book; I’ve covered about twenty miles on foot, bought a gallon of industrial strength cider from a local farm, spent half my festival budget on one burger, lost my phone, and been rained on far too much for my optimum moisture levels.

And let's put the cynicism to one side for a moment. Glastonbury can be magic:
life of a so-called shutterbug reminds us how:

http://ernimason.livejournal.com/14297.html">Six years ago, I was at Glastonbury festival with one of my best friends and her boyfriend. What an amazing place. It's still one of my favourite places in all the world to be. The only place I've felt completly free and had no worries at all. The Friday evening hit, and my friend's boyfriend had a call saying that some of his friends had managed to get free tickets and were on their way down, and we'd meet them in a field under the big paper star, after Coldplay's set. So we walked to meet them. And there, under a star, I met Gary for the first time - now I say the first time. I'd met him once before but hadn't spoken to him properly. - We spent the next day and a half together. The rest, as they say, is history ;)

The post is tagged 'husband'.

Embed and breakfast man: Glastonbury 1998

It's a tradition (= we did it last year and so will do it again this year) for us to remind ourselves of a gentler, happier Glastonbury ten years ago through the medium of video while the new event is pouring out of Somerset.

Except, of course, ten years ago wasn't happy. It was bloody miserable; we know, because - while Blur were doing this set - we were stood watching them. Except, we weren't standing. We were treading water, to try and stop the top of our boots disappearing under the churning mud. It looks so much better from here:



More videos - and embittered reminiscence, no doubt - as the weekend continues
Lightning Seeds - The Life Of Riley
Catatonia - Road Rage
Placebo - Lady Of The Flowers
Portishead - Western Eyes
Underworld - Born Slippy

Signs of the impending apocalypse

Or, things you don't want to read in the subject lines of your inbox:

Simple Minds write songs for next album

They've got enough for a double. Send your children to the higher ground, and make peace with god.

UNKLE scavenger hunt

We know, we know: you're sick of bloody Glastonbury and if you were that bothered you'd have gone down to Somerset.

Luckily, it's possible to have some fun without catching trench foot or having Michael Eavis bark 'you ARE having fun' at you. Because this weekend, UNKLE are starting a sort of scavenger hunt, where you can start to collect a mini album from across four websites. The tracks go together to make up a whole piece, and they themselves are a bit of the forthcoming UNKLE album proper. There's a press release which explains it all:

Although fans will have to collect the tracks individually, when all four (tracks 5, 6, 7 and 8 on the album) are played consecutively, in order, they play as one extended, mixed piece of music that comprises the middle section of the record.

The four tracks will be made available as follows:

Track 5 - Kaned And Abel via UNKLE.com on Fri, June 27th

Track 8 - Chemical (feat. Josh Homme) via Pitchfork on Mon, June 30th
www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/forkcast

Track 6 - Blade In The Back (feat. Gavin Clark) via Rcrdlbl.com on Wed, July 2nd
www.unkle.rcrdlbl.com

Track 7 - Synthetic Water via UNKLE77.com on Fri, July 4th

You can scamper about the internet gathering the pieces from now. Or, of course, save yourself the effort and buy End Titles… Stories for Film when it comes out instead.