Yo! MTV rapped for unfair competition

MTV's Freeview channel, TMF, has received a ticking-off for running a competition onscreen which promised a prize of £25 - although winners on the £1 a call line discovered they'd only be entered into a draw to win £25.

MTV's defence? That they told entrants about the rules.

Unfortunately, they only did so by scrolling text directing people to look at online terms and conditions. Not good enough, says Ofcom, agreeing with the complainant and all the demands of basic justice:

The caption “for full t’s & c’s visit www.mtv.co.uk/trax ”, was one of six captions screened in sequence, while the captions, “win £25” and “enter the pin to win” were on screen permanently during the competitions. Ofcom notes that the prize draw element of the competition was clearly stated in the terms and conditions on MTV’s website. Nevertheless, Rule 2.11 requires that, “…prizes should be described accurately and rules should be clear and appropriately made known.” The permanent captions appeared to us to tell viewers that they would win £25 if they solved the four digit code. We consider it was inadequate to make the prize draw element of the competition clear on the internet only – the rule had not been “appropriately made known.” As the prize draw element of the competition was not clear to viewers, the prize – a chance to win £25 – had not been described accurately.

We're also far from convinced that the page that hosts the terms and conditions - where silver grey text sits on a deep red background is entirely easy to read, too.

Bucked trends: Opening a record shop

Proving that there aren't, actually, any hard-and-fast rules about selling music in 2007, a record store has just celebrated its first birthday. Phonopolis, in Montreal, is not only a shop making a success of selling physical product - but 70% of its sales are on vinyl. It's probably about 1990 since there's been a new shop that does that anywhere in the world.

X marks the spots

They're probably not going to make it to the UK, but X have announced an American anniversary tour:

19 - Chicago, Ill. @ Metro/Smart Bar
21 - Madison, Wis. @ Barrymore Theatre
22 - Minneapolis, Minn. @ The Cabooze
25 - Denver, Colo. @ Bluebird Theater
26 - Aspen, Colo. @ Belly Up
28 - Boise, Idaho @ Big Easy Concert House
29 - Portland, Ore. @ McMenamins Crystal Ballroom
30-31 - Seattle, Wash. @ Showbox

April
9 - Solana Beach, Calif. @ Belly Up
10 - Los Angeles, Calif. @ Henry Fonda Theatre

This isn't, it should be stressed, like the Sex Pistols reunions.

As they won't come to us, we'll go to them: This is Your Phone's Off The Hook, But You're Not:

Bobby Brown: there's only fake reality left

Bobby Brown goes country and western? Really?

Why would he do that?

He tells MTV he wanted the challenge:

"My dad was a big country-music fan, but I felt it was something I could conquer," said Brown, who can tell you stories about hanging out in Nashville "every other weekend." "I've been through R&B and rap, television, movies. It just brings it all together, country music."

Except, of course, this is less to do with a desire to make a country album, and everything to do with having to accept any humiliating job offer that comes his way. In short, some godforsaken reality country music show. Genre swap, perhaps:

He's one of seven celebrities to hook up with Big & Rich's John Rich for the Country Music Television reality show "Gone Country." The contestants, including Sisqo, Twisted Sister's Dee Snider and Julio Iglesias Jr., are competing to be the next big country star.

There's apparently one of the Brady Bunch in there, too. But then there probably would have to be, wouldn't there?

Still, the attention gives Brown a chance to talk about his recent heart attack:

"I did not have a heart attack. No. I went to the hospital, they pushed my stomach, I farted, then they sent me home."

You'd have to wonder at a man who is now so damaged he requires medical intervention to part his sphincter, wouldn't you?

MIDEM 2008: The other side of the Trax

So, what happened to QTrax, then?

Someone's posted a link in the comments to one of our earlier stories to an unofficial website which is linking through to an .exe which it claims is the official download of the service - but, frankly, you'd have to be so trusting to even try such a link as to be incapable of functioning in the real world.

The official site, meanwhile, is still promising the download will go live at midnight last night, New York time, while the media is catching on. The Times reports the company being in a "humiliating climbdown":

Questioned by The Times in Cannes today, Alan Klepfisz, Qtrax's flamboyant chief executive, insisted that he had not misled the industry or music fans.

"We are not idiots," he said."We wouldn’t have launched the service in front of the whole music industry unless we had secured its backing. We feel we have been unfairly crucified because a competitor tried to damage us. Everyone is very upset."

But has QTrax been lying about having the majors onboard? Opinion is split: the labels deny they've signed anything; QTrax claims they have.

Sort-of:

"We do have industry agreements including the major labels. Even today we are working on more deals," Mr Klepfisz said. He added that although "ink hadn't dried" on some of the deals, Qtrax still planned to deliver on its promises "within months."

So, last night they were launching with all four majors; now, it turns out, there might be some, um, negotiations still to take place.

The funny thing is, this isn't the first time QTrax has announced it's done deals with the big four. Back in June 2007, the New York Post was being told by the company a very similar story:

With a full complement of songs from the major labels as well as the esoteric live recordings and personal tracks stemming from users' own collections, Klepfisz estimates Qtrax will have access to between 20 million and 30 million copyrighted songs at launch in October.
[...]
That Qtrax has the support of the four major record labels - EMI, SonyBMG, Universal Music Group and Warner Music Group - and all of their respective publishing divisions underscores the industry's increasing realization that peer-to-peer services can't be sued out of existence and instead should be embraced as a potentially lucrative new source of revenue.

So, half a year ago they were claiming to have all the big labels on board. That ink's taking a bloody long time to dry, isn't it?

They'd also been promising a September launch, too. Round about the time they took on SpiralFrog executives, last April.

[Part of MIDEM 2008]

Is that it?

If you've ever wondered about the cover of the Strokes Is This It - and apparently it's "controversial" - Goldenfiddle's posted a Vimeo feature with a woman who was the then girlfriend of photographer Colin Lane, talking about how the shot came about:



Yes, it does stop after a minute and give way to a Strokes song playing over a black screen. And, yes, far from revealing who the woman was, she still remains an unknown person. I suppose having a face is a step on from just being a bit of a body, but it's still all a bit reductive.

Doherty solo gig announced; axed

Pete Doherty's living up to the stereotype: today, in fairly short measure, a solo gig at the Reading Fez was announced, and then cancelled. Unforeseen circumstances, apparently.

Older Kids, same block?

Worrying ruminations on the Pop Candy website: is the revamped NKOTB website a pilot fish for a New Kids reunion?

MIDEM 2008: A new way of doing things

After digital has done making old-style labels look untenable, there's going to be a new project. It's the collection agencies who should start to shuffle uncomfortably in their seats. In an age when it's easier than ever to track sales and plays and who's sold what to whom, is there any point in paying agencies to go round collecting money from broadcasters and shops to pass on, eventually, to artists and labels?

That's the thinking behind RoyaltyShare, a company who are attracting a lot of attention down in the South of France with the simple-but-screamingly-obvious propostion: wouldn't it make more sense, and cost less, for the downloads warehouse services to process the royalties at the same time?

They've already got Beggars onboard. If I worked for MCPS, PRS or PPL, I'd be spending tomorrow thinking about how collection agencies can have a future. This afternoon, though, I'd be tidying my CV.

MIDEM 2008: Amazon say remember us?

Although Amazon haven't bothered to send anyone to MIDEM, they've taken the opportunity of the event to announce plans to roll out their DRM free MP3 store internationally.

Or, rather, if not actually announce plans, to mention that it might happen, and just about loud enough to try and take the shine off some other announcements:

"We have received thousands of emails from Amazon customers around the world asking us when we will make Amazon MP3 available outside of the US," Amazon.com VP of digital music, Bill Carr, said.

"We are excited to tell those customers today that Amazon MP3 is going international this year."

Of course, "going international this year" might mean a 100-territory roll out before Valentines Day, or a Polish store sometime late December. The lack of any real information in the announcement lends itself to the suggestion the latter might be more likely.

Ironically, of course, the main effect of Amazon's announcement was to take attention away from the QTrax offering - which worked against Amazon's interests, leaving the headlines hanging without much overview of the detail. Downloads still not working, by the way.

Winehouse fallout: Gordon takes to the air

A flurry of activity on the radio as The Sun attempts to justify its coverage of the Amy Winehouse stories.

First up was managing editor, the splendidly named Graham Dudman, who ventured onto Five Live to explain how it was all for the best. (A large chunk of the interview can be heard on the Guardian's MediaTalk podcast). Dudman explained how the paper ran the film as some sort of social service - in the hope that the police or, mysteriously, "social workers" would get involved to help her as a result.

Momentarily wrong-footed by a question from Sheila Fogarty, Dudman seemed to suggest the Sun might donate any profits from the issue running the footage of Amy doing crack to help other drug addicts. We'll believe that when we see Rebekah Wade handing over an enormous cheque.

Meanwhile, Gordon Smart popped up on 6Music's The Music Week to defend the story. He kept repeating that it was a great exclusive - although not so great he though to mention Nick Parker, whose byline graced the story in the first place. Smart suggested that, since Amy went into rehab straight after the Sun ran the story, the paper had done a good thing by providing this last, crucial piece of evidence that gave Amy a chance to wake up to what she was doing. It made her admit she was a drug addict, and that she needed help.

However, even Gordon's own tale of events after the pictures appeared - which saw Winehouse pulled into Universal's offices, confronted with a bunch of negative press cuttings (that one guy had spent two days pulling together) and given the "choice" to admit she was hooked - makes it clear that far from being a moment where Amy opened her eyes, it was just the point where her paymasters lost their patience. Because if the Sun's video had made Amy decide to seek help, why would she have needed to spend time at a record company office block looking through a dossier?

The video wasn't a cold, hard dose of reality; it was merely something else for Universal to bounce her into rehab with.

Challenged that some 6Music listeners felt uncomfortable with the paper running shots from the film, and the invasion of privacy involved, Gordon rummaged around for an excuse. Aha! "Amy would take drugs regardless of if there was a photographer chasing her or not" explained Smart. So she didn't care if she was seen, we're meant to conclude, and from this there was no invasion of her privacy because she was behaving as would have in public.

Besides being a weak argument from a logical point of view, it's bollocks anyway - if Amy was always taking drugs when there were photographers around, where are all the photos, then? Clearly, she attempted to keep at least the consumption of drugs private.

Gordon also offered the defence that she went into rehab and thus, the invasion of her privacy was justifiable as "she needed the jolt". And then he tried to argue, again, that Winehouse held some sort of public office when meant the paper was justified in revealing what she got up to behind closed doors - "drugs" Gordon revealed "aren't glamorous; [Amy is] a serious role model [with] a position of responsiblity."

But if the idea is to try and stop kids thinking that doing drugs is cool, then why has Smart (and the rest of the media) run page after page on her drug abuse? Since Amy doesn't publicise her drug use, the only way the impressionable kids are going to know that Winehouse does drugs is because they've read it in columns like Gordon's. If they don't want kids to grow up thinking fame and snort and blow and cash go together like an after-hours party for Man United players, why keep banging on about it? And isn't it a bit hypocritical for Smart - who glories in over-indulgence, awarding a prize for "Caner of the Year" - to suddenly start worrying about role models and bad influences?

Some gentle probing about the source of the video gave Gordon a chance to stress how much he cares again: the tape reminded us how Amy is surrounded by "parasites... characters trying to make money out of her." The same parasites who, presumably, The Sun had paid money to for the footage in the first place. If there wasn't a market, there wouldn't be any parasites, would there, Gordon?

Most laughably of all, Smart promised that - since Amy is being good - her rehab will be "handled delicately". Having had photographer pursue her to the door of the clinic, that seemed unlikely; given that Smart is running a piece on Winehouse 's treatment this morning, we suspect he knew he was lying even as he told 6Music that "she'll get some space now" yesterday lunchtime.

[Thanks to Steve H]

MIDEM 2008: QTrax misses launch

QTrax - the 'legal' peer-to-peer service - is starting to fall apart already: it missed the midnight in New York launch (although, if you use a Mac, it's asking you to wait until March 18th anyway); more worryingly, QTrax's claims to have all the majors onboard has been denied by Warners, EMI and Universal. Sony BMG haven't said they've not given permission; but they've not yet confirmed they have, either.

PaidContent's vedict, looking at the expensive marketing push in Midem and the short-fall in actual service? This is SpiralFrog all over again.

Darkness at 3AM

The Mirror has been very excited about this morning's relaunch of the 3AM Column, headed up by Danielle Lawler, who had lasted about a week in Gordon Smart's 'cabinet' over at The Sun and Clemmie Moodie (whose name sounds like an exercise set by a speech therapist). It was trailed as a first taste of what the new, modern, redesigned Mirror is going to feel like, but it doesn't (online at least) have very much of a different feel. And the content? As far as you can judge, it's same old same old.

Although it is difficult to tell for sure, as today's column is all about the new 3AM girls, making the same mistake Gordon did when he took over: assuming readers give half a honk about the people who filter this stuff.

So, we discover that Danielle's first album was Kick by INXS:

Kick by INXS. At least it wasn't Jason Donovan!

while Clementine Tangerine's was, inevitably, Jason Donovan.

Naturally, a bunch of PR staff have ghostwritten welcome messages from their charges - but even then, it's quite a poor selection: Kelly Osbourne, Leon Jackson, Leona Lewis, Ant and Dec and Simon Cowell. Even if you can get over the wonder that all the well-wishes have come from people connected with Cowell's Saturday night talent shows, you'd have to say that this is a bit weak. No Madonna, not even a Daniel Craig? Instead, they're relaunching with warm words from Leon Jackson, a man who couldn't even remember his own name if 'who won the X Factor in 2007' came up on the pub quiz machine.

Even the wicked whispers are about them:

Which showbiz columnist kissed a very un-single Hollywood actor in a trendy Portuguese nightclub? The love-rat didn't say he was taken...

Unless that was Gordon. It couldn't have been Gordon, could it?

Gordon in the morning: Business as usual

You'd have thought with the new 3AM column launching this morning, Gordon would have pulled out the stops for Bizarre this morning.

Nope.

The lead story is Kelly Rowland wore a basque. Or, as Gordon put it:

The former DESTINY’S CHILD star has covered up her assets for too long.

So it was great to see her strutting her stuff in this basque and sexy fishnets at London Astoria’s G-A-Y night on Saturday.

Gordon takes the opportunity to have the first of, what we fear might be many, unsubtle jives at Adele for not conforming to his idea of what's sexy:

She’s obviously been taking notice of the chart battle between ADELE and BASSHUNTER and realised it’s not just good vocals that get you ahead in the music world.

You'd have thought that even Gordon might have thought his story that Amy Winehouse is getting better would have been of a higher priority - although since she's only been in rehab for a couple of days, it seems unlikely that she's in a position yet where the headline ("Amy has cracked it") is anything other than over-optimistic. The story is hung on claims by a "close family friend" but, we suspect, the real meat of the tale is the large chunk in which yesterday's News of the World 'interview' with Blake is torn to pieces:

The family friend also slammed Amy’s jailed husband BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL for saying he fears her habits could kill her within three months.

Blake is in Pentonville Prison in London awaiting trial over trial-fixing allegations and GBH.

The friend went on: “That is a complete joke. Before Amy met Blake she never took any Class A drugs.

“It is him who started her off on crack and heroin.

“She has gone into rehab so she lives to see her thirties, forties and fifties.

“It would destroy her to read his comments."

Ah, the Monday Sun - or "don't believe anything our sister says".

And now the Sun trashes the NOTW...

Poor Cheryl Cole. The question of whether Ashley has done anything - and who with - has now ceased to be important; now, the story is all about sister papers scrapping in public.

You'll recall that yesterday's News of the World had offered Cheryl the chance to tell the world that Ashley can't hold an erection while he's drunk, to counter The Sun's claims that he'd had sex with a woman who was not in Girls Aloud.

This morning, The Sun counters that Cole's "people" offered to pay for an abortion for Aimee Walton. Cole hadn't worn a condom because, he's supposed to have said that he didn't "do that shit".

Abortions; refusal to wear condoms; and - it turns out - three separate shags. It's surprising how much colourful detail Walton had forgotten to mention the first time she sold her story to The Sun.

MIDEM 2008: YouTube ask 'who should we make the cheque out to?'

In the MidemNet warm-ups for Midem proper, one of YouTube's founders Chad Hurley has been talking about the frustrations of trying to be legitimate worldwide. One of the problems is the patchwork licensing covering each country - he had a cautious welcome for recent EU plans to try and create a single licensing regime from the Baltic nations west - but a more interesting problem is caused by - yes - the big music companies:

. "Beyond streamlining the process, what we really need is the data, is to understand what they need to be paid, because (collectors) are not telling us," he told the crowd. "With the labels, they've invested in the infrastructure to automate that process. To do to a deal and not to understand what or who to pay? I think we need a solution there to really be able to make these deals move forward, because we want to do deals."

Now, we're not conspiracy minded here, but if we were... we'd be wondering if the reluctance to share that data might be for fear that future licensing deals between creators and YouTube could then proceed without the need for a label to perform any middlemen functions.

[Part of MIDEM 2008]

The Ride weekend: Today

As we approach the end of our weekend exploring the musical delights of Ride, the lead track of the Today Forever ep:



[Part of the Ride weekend]

MIDEM 2008: Labels embrace peer-to-peer technology

Yet more confused positions from the big labels emerges as QTrax is announced at MIDEM.

Having spent years insisting that giving away music for nothing teaches that music is valueless, and thus not worth paying for, the labels eventually added the rider 'except, of course, if there's advertising being sold and we get a share - then, magically, the idea of giving music away doesn't teach the negative message', now the labels are, um, throwing their weight behind file-sharing.

Yes, in the same week that the IFPI issued a report which suggested that filesharing was difficult, unpopular and offered a poor range of music choices, comes the announcement of QTrax. QTrax is a free, peer-to-peer service which will also be advertising supported - and it's got the labels on board. Because they are having their mouths shoved full with QTrax's gold, and because Microsoft's DRM is going to make the tracks virtually unusable, the majors are happy to give the nod to the service.

It's nice to see the record companies finally accepting that they're not going to wipe filesharing off the internet and trying to find a way to work with it; it's just unfortunate that they've missed the factors which have made illegal file-sharing such a success. And it's going to be fun to watch the RIAA trying to vilfy filesharing, except for the bits its members have financial interests in.

Atomic Kitten's guide to downloading

So, the big push to grab "Liverpool's first number one of 2007" - part of the Capital of Culture celebrations is on.

It's not really clear that Atomic Kitten were the best choice for the job, as it does rather remind people that - despite Liverpool's former strong record at turning out chart hits - the city hasn't topped the charts since Atomic Kitten did back in 2002. It's not quite the longest drought - there was a seven year gap between Sonia and Three Lions - but making a huge fuss about being the home of number ones when you've not managed a big one for over half a decade seems a bit of a hostage to fortune.

The omens for the Kitten's cover of Anyone Had A Heart breaking the dry spell aren't great, either. The Liverpool Echo reveals:

Their aim is to get Liverpool’s first number one of 2008 and raise £1m for Merseyside charities.

But, it is only available as a download, which means you will need a computer with internet access to get your hands on a copy.

So, nobody much interested in releasing it as a physical single, eh?

Aware that these new-fangled downloads are confusing to a lot of people (apparently), they decide to show that anyone can do it. Since the rules on employing three year-old kids are difficult, they've got one of the Kitten to explain how simple it can be:

Liz McClarnon showed just how easy it is.

She said: “I’m a big fan of downloading. I get everything on the internet these days. Plus, it’s loads cheaper, so rather than paying two or three pounds for a single, you only pay 79p.

Although, of course, a single has more tracks on, and you're getting a physical article as well. So it's not "loads cheaper" - actually, for what you get, it's more expensive.

Oh, and the official site hosting the download is charging 99p.

Adele beat up Gareth Gates fans

We're usually pretty dismissive of the Sunday Mirror's Showbiz with Zoe column, but we have to applaud her this week for the glimpse into life at the Brits school.

She does describe it as "the trendy Brits school", which is both a really archaic word (why not go the whole hog and call it 'groovy'?) and wrong, anyway, as it's a kind of vacuum-packed stage school nightmare, which has never been the in thing. Unless you have fantasies which revolve around The Swish Of The Curtain. And if you do, that's wrong.

Still, Adele - a recent graduate, of course - reveals that this supposed cauldron of talent, the place where the next generation of British music drones are trained up, were so in thrall to Simon Cowell, the playground fights were over Will Young:

"Will Young was my first proper love. I was obsessed.

"The Gareth Gates fans were horrible to me and I wasn't having any of it.

"We had a fight and I was called into the head teacher's office and sent home. It was serious.

"It was so embarrassing when I met Will. I've loved him since I was 14, and the first thing that came out my mouth was, 'I voted for you 5,000 times!"

Zoe is proud to be talking to Adele:

I had the first interview with the rising star, who is being given the Critics' Choice statue at the Brit Awards next month.

First interview. Quite a scoop - although you have to ignore the Channel 4. And the one with Orange Music. Oh, and Time Out and Simon Mayo. And This Is Fake DIY, The Observer, Virgin Radio and BBC News Online. But if you ignore all of those, it's a hell of a scoop.

The Ride weekend: Like A Daydream

We couldn't decide between the video, and the 92 live appearance at Reading. So, have them both:





[Part of Ride Weekend]

Rav grovels to Kate Moss

There's not many stories that only Rav Singh could report, but there's one today: Having run a story last week about Kate Moss having an orgy, this week he's apologising for saying any such thing:

Kate Moss: An apology

SORRY KATE

We would like to apologise to Kate Moss and to her family and friends for any offence or distress caused by our article last week relating to alleged events at her 34th birthday party at the Dorchester Hotel.

The News of the World was offered detailed information from a normally reliable source which we now accept was untrue. We regret publication of that material in the RAV column and have agreed to pay Kate a sum in damages.

Ah, curse those "normally reliable sources", eh, Rav?

Blake: we're the living dead

You'd have thought being banged up inside would prevent Blake Cokehead-druggie from talking to the papers.

Sadly, not: he's somehow been conducting interviews with the News of the World through an intermediary. Yes, his old ma has been sneaking out his views on his wife going into rehab - presumably she's been hiding scribbed notes under her hat, or else spending visiting hours memorising Blake's responses word-for-word.

Apparently, Blake is "relieved" that Amy has gone into however-much-rehab-she-can-fit-in-before-the-Grammys:

Blake, 25, talking to the News of the World through his devoted mum Georgette, said: "I'm so relieved she has finally taken my advice after I begged her to go into rehab.

"I even threatened her with divorce because I thought it would be the only thing to make her see sense.

"My parents have both pleaded with me to divorce Amy and I told her so before she finally agreed to go in for treatment.

"They think she's the Black Widow who will be the death of me if I don't end our marriage. But I'd prefer to have a short life with Amy than a long life without her."

Those of you who are left caring - and we suspect that's probably just a couple of people who work for Universal, immediate family and the deputy editor of Heat - might recall that the last time we heard from "sources close to Blake", he was muttering about divorce because of her Christmas trip with her ex.

So, curiously, here we are, with Blake's Mum telling a newspaper what she claims Blake says that she'd told him in the first place. We like to think that, on B Wing at the moment, Crusher Knobs is listening as Blake reads aloud those same words in the paper, completing some sort of mystic circle.

Blake's mum says Blake says that he was worried by Amy continuing to take crack:

"Prison has saved me. But if Amy goes back on crack again I will be lucky if my wife's alive in three months."

This, of course, gives the News of the World its headline:

Amy Winehouse has three months to live, says Blake

... a not-very-subtle rewriting of what he actually said.

This all seems to be part of an attempt by Blake to try and reposition himself - hitherto, he's been cast as the villain; now, he's having a shot at turning himself into a contrite hero. Yes, we took drugs, he says, but I've got clean inside - while Amy has got worse outside. Worse, you see. Can't have been my fault, I've not been there; I've been pleading with her to get help.

We'd find it more convincing if he hadn't been telling the News of the World about it.

Cheryl Cole: Everything's fine

The joy which The Sun and the News of the World take in trashing each other's stories makes our takedowns on Ran and Gordon look like kind words in a friend's ear.

Today, after a week of Sun stories claiming that Ashley Cole had been double-dipping, and that Chezza had flown into one of her trademark rages and thrown him out, the News gives space to Cheryl to deny the whole thing:

And we can reveal Cheryl is CONVINCED her husband never had sex with 22-year-old Aimee Walton, BELIEVES his story and is still DETERMINED they can make their marriage work.

All very convincing. Although, at the same time:

DEVASTATED Cheryl Cole has pledged to stand by disgraced husband Ashley and honour every word of her solemn wedding vows — despite his drunken night of shame with a blonde.

So... she doesn't believe that Ashley did anything, but he's still disgraced and she's still devastated?

Cheryl uses her platform to use mild humiliation on her husband:

The single mum from Morden, south London, added that later she had sex with him before and after he "vomited on the floor, all over the cream carpet". But staunchly loyal wife Cheryl insisted yesterday: "That's utter rubbish, I know that for a FACT. I know Ashley intimately. When he's under the influence he ISN'T capable."

The implication of that - of many nights of Cheryl, in some sort of Ethel Austin nighty, sighing with disappointment after Ashley returns home stinking of cherry brandy and mumbling about how he's very sorry - is clearly part of Cole's punishment programme.

Cheryl also has a pop at Aimee Walton, the tell-all who may or may not have had sex with a puke-covered footballer:

Speaking from a secret location yesterday, with 27-year-old Ashley at her side and wedding ring still on her finger, she said: "I'm astonished that girl says she felt sorry for me.

"If she felt so sorry why did she run to the papers to try and ruin my marriage?

"I hope she's happy with her first designer handbag that she can buy with her dirty money."

While there's something pleasing about using a jibe about a handbag for handbags at dawn, the suggestion that Walton can't be trusted because hitherto she's bought her handbags down the market suggests that Cheryl's worldview has become irredeemably skewed.

We wonder if The Sun is busily taking notes as Walton prepares a riposte to this lot. Oh, let's hope not.

The Ride weekend: Chelsea Girl

This was where it all started... the basic but beautiful promo for Chelsea Girl from the debut ep:




[Part of the Ride weekend]

This week just gone

The ten most-read individual stories this week were:

1. R Kelly's sex video - the jury will get a look
2. RIP John Stewart
3. Lily Allen's train journey
4. McFly go for some nudity
5. The Sun has video of Amy Winehouse doing crack
6. Bus driver tells goths: get off my bus
7. Is KT Tunstall a lesbian?
8. Nelly Furtado naked? It'll never happen
9. Rose West decides to not marry one of Slade
10. Ali Campbell rubbishes claims he was happy to leave UB40

You could have bought these new releases:


Black Mountain - In The Future Just inching ahead in a bloody brilliant week for new albums


Adorable - Footnotes The band Creation ignored to chase the LCD Oasis quid finally gets a best of


Cat Power - Jukebox Deluxe edition includes Chan covering herself


Aidan John Moffat - I Can Hear Your Heart According to Amazon, available on the 'explicit lyrics' format


Instruments Of Science And Technology - Music from the Films of Richard Swift Movie-scoring noodling bits and pieces


Lightspeed Champion - Falling Off The Lavender Bridge Whoever knew that the phrase "ex-Test Icicles" could be attached to something this good?


Hello Blue Roses - The Portrait Is Finished And I Have Failed To Capture Your Beauty HBR cite Felt & Prefab Sprout amongst their influences


Rasputina - Oh Perilous World Cellist Goths turn in fictional steampunk soundtrack


Kim Novak - Luck & Accident French Starsailorish indie-pop


Tying Tiffany - Brain For Breakfast ... and a dash of Italian Electoclash

MIDEM 2008: Goldsmith twigs something's up

It would shatter our hearts, were it not so funny: down in the South of France, Harvey Goldsmith furrows his brow:

“The technology [to protect online music from 'piracy'] is there but savvy kids are saying ‘while they’re all arguing, I can grab this stuff for free’.”

After about a decade, someone in the old-style music industry has finally realised that procrastination has just created a vacuum into which people have rushed.

Sadly, the realisation has come way, way too late; and Goldsmith's conclusion - that it means its time for the music industry to really sort out putting the locks in place - is the exact opposite of what's needed.

[Part of MIDEM 2008]

Morrissey falls silent

Perhaps as a side-effect of one-too-many drinking games with the crew, Mozzer's voice has given out and so his two Camden gigs this weekend are being postponed. There's a statement:

"Morrissey's concerts scheduled for tonight and tomorrow night at The Roundhouse have been postponed due to illness.

"The iconic artist lost his voice last night five songs in to the fourth night of a run of six sold out shows at the legendary venue. He has been ordered by doctors to rest for the next four days."

The iconic artist? You're cancelling a gig, not putting him forward to go on Deal or No Deal.

MIDEM 2008: Sony BMG want music to be free... sort of

More from MIDEM, and again we're picking up on PaidContent's excellent coverage, as Sony BMG's digital music president Thomas Hesse announces that the company would be happier with the all-you-can-eat digital model:

“This idea of bundling music or access ... enjoying music on a fairly large scale with either a device or with access, be it a cell phone contract or a cable contract ... to me, that’s the next frontier. We feel quite optimistic about it.”

”Access to music so that music becomes something you can access in a very free way with very little encumburences.”

Of course, the advantage for Sony is no customer would ever own anything - if you want to listen to the tracks tomorrow that you listened to today, you'd have to pay all over again. And again, and again, and again.

Meanwhile, there'd be much lower risk in the industry - people on subscriptions would always need to pay you more money to gain access to a library; there'd be less pressure to add to that library.

More optimistically, Hesse also revealed that he believes next year will see digital and physical sales reach the 50/50 point; a more rapid shift to digital sales than we've seen predicted elsewhere.

[Part of MIDEM 2008]

The Ride weekend: Madrid

Vapour Trail, live at Madrid Rocks Festival:



[Part of Ride weekend]