Showboat flotilla: Geldof backs Davis

David Davis' calling of the first-ever Pyrrhic by-election has won the overblown backing of Bob Geldof:

“You are being asked to decide what kind of people you are and what kind of country you want.

“You are being asked to vote about us and you will probably never be asked to vote on something so profound again.”

“I was told David Davis was out on a limb on this one but it is the right limb to be on.

“It is a limb I am proud to join him on and it's the same limb William Wilberforce clambered out and perched himself on in this very town.

“This is not about the grotesqueness of slavery, but it is about justice, liberty and your rights.”

Forty Two days is a serious issue - as, of course, was the 28 days which Davis happily supported, and the suggestion that the State should have the right to kill convicted criminals, something which Davis believes in. But a parliamentary by-election with no serious opposition is not a way to test public opinion - for how are you supposed to vote if you oppose Conservative policy on other matters, but also stand against 42 Days? If you give your vote to Davis on 42 Days, on that principle, why has he not offered to not vote in any other division?

It's grandstanding, the right debate in the wrong forum. The appearance of Geldof merely adds more sideshows to a terrible circus.

Guy Hands: Max Bialystock, for real

If you invested in a bunch of really, really horrible films in the hope of making a huge loss to set against tax, and somehow managed to end up losing millions of quid, you might keep quiet.

Not so Guy Hands. He had been advised backing cinematic donkeys would net him back £1.40 for every £1 he threw away; trouble was, the loophole he was crawling through was blocked. So, now he's suing the accountants whose advice he followed.

Good lord: throwing tonnes and tonnes of money into a rubbish entertainment endeavour in order to profit from the loss. That wouldn't explain the EMI purchase, would it? Does he keep peering at the sales figures for Living La Vida Loca or whatever that Coldplay album is called and crying bitter, bitter tears?

There's something less than noble about a man who hoped to suck resources from the Exchequer by deliberately making worthless films having a strop because his plans failed - the money he hoped to make would have come from all of us, money which could be spent on hospitals, schools, painting the Queen's bedroom, and so on. He gambled, and lost; rather than taking it on the chin, he - and 74 others - are now demanding that the advisors make good their "losses".

Besides making him look like a bad loser and somewhat greedy, it also means that the world now knows that Guy Hands helped fund the movie Nine Dead Gay Guys, by all accounts a nasty piece of work trading on sexual and racial stereotypes to no great effect. If it had been us, we'd have happily swallowed the loss of a few million to keep that information on the back burner.

Poison at war over animal cruelty

First, take some time to absorb the news that Poison are going to be playing a rodeo. In Greeley, Colorado, tonight, in fact. It's the Greeley Stampede.

It's become something of a problem within the band, though. Rikki Rockett issued a statement through Showing Animals Respect and Kindness:

"I had no idea that this gig included a rodeo. I have a huge problem with animal cruelty at rodeos. Greeley is a huge rodeo, which means an enormous amount of animal abuse. I am blown away that I missed the description of this show on our touring schedule printout."

Yes - to be fair to Greeley Stampede, they do describe themselves as "the World's largest 4th of July Rodeo" (we're not sure how many places beyond the US would be holding rodeos to mark American Independence Day, mind.) So it is a little surprising that when they said to Rockett "you're playing a famous rodeo", he didn't notice he was going to be playing a rodeo.

Now, though, Bret Michaels has also issued a statement:

he was "shocked" to hear drummer Rikki Rockett's comments about animal cruelty at the Greeley Stampede and promised to "put on one hell of a big rock show" there despite Rockett's concerns.

And, yes, despite Rockett's apparent disgust, he does still intend to turn up and drum for the audience at the cattle-bothering event. After all, cruelty might be unacceptable, but a payday is a payday, right. Rockett doesn't expect to explain why he believes others should abandon their rodeo when he won't even cancel a gig.

Gordon in the morning: Gordon is the story

Sit down, and then place your head between your legs. For today, we come to offer our sympathy for Gordon Smart, not to point out how shoddy he is. Just for today, like.

Gordon got cornered by Jay-Z in a nightclub ("trendy London club Paper", as Gordon puts it) to take issue with Smart's Gallagher-pandering review of Mr. Z at Glastonbury:

He told me: "You were the only one who gave me a bad review. Everyone else said it was history.

"I’m not one of those guys who gets cut up about good or bad reviews but you missed the moment, man.

"It was a first for Glastonbury and you didn’t get it. You’re a non-believer. I was making history and you missed the moment."

Not that he could care, Smart's paper's full of shit, and he only reads the racecard, anyway.

"I have sold your paper on stage for the last few weeks.

"I made history on Saturday and that can’t be taken away from me.

"It was something new, never done before, and I’m proud."

And Beyonce's fuming.

There's nothing more pathetic than someone over-reacting to a review which diverges from their self-image; you'd have thought that Jay-Z would have had a little more dignity than to indulge in this sort of thing - and, certainly, he might have chosen to argue on grounds of quality rather than his misplaced "history in the making" mythology.

Fat undead guy in a bath

Given that Jim Morrison wasn't exactly hard to miss, it's surprising the number of people who are convinced that those who saw his corpulent, lifeless body in a tub are somehow wrong. Almost a year to a day after we were asked to believe that JimMo actually died in a pub toilet, Ray Manzarek has suddenly piped up that, you know, maybe he didn't even die at all:

"I often wonder if his death has been an elaborate charade.
"Jim was a restless soul, always looking for something else in his life, and even six years of success - and excess - with The Doors hadn't been enough for him.

"A year earlier, he had shown me a brochure for the Seychelles and said, 'Wouldn't this be the perfect place to escape to if everyone believed you were dead?'. At the time, I never thought anything of it."

Or, indeed, thought to mention it in the previous thirty-eight years for some reason. Perhaps he was afraid we'd laugh at him.

Of course, if Morrison is still alive, he'd be spending his time hanging round that Parisian graveyard, the Pere Lachaise, giggling at the people visiting his empty grave. Or maybe he just spends his days trying to figure out how to access his money, somehow.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Harvey Sid's big moment

Something of a treat from 8 Out Of 10 Cats just now - for listeners of weekend era John Peel, as they showed some all-too-breif clips of Harvey Sid Fisher doing his Astrology Songs. Back when Peel was treating us to a song a week from the deranged tribute tohoroscopes, he said there were rumours of a video - who knew it would take Jimmy Carr to bring it to us?

The art that you like is probably bad

Jesse Helms - a man who tried to take federal funding away from 'bad' art - has died at the age of 86. His only positive contribution to art was inspiring this song by Loudon Wainwright - here filmed during a live 1986 appearance on NBC, given a slightly Max Headroomy feel by the camera-pointed-at-TV recording method. There's also some bonus Philip Glass.

Noel takes on the knife squads

Just as you thought knife crime and young people bleeding to death couldn't get any more depressing, it's woken up Noel Gallagher's political compass. Apparently forgetting his enthusiastic embrace of Tony Blair and the New Labour Project, Gallagher instead plumps for the simplisitic 'it wasn't like this in my day':

"In my day, status was trying to be somebody, do you know what I mean, not trying to kill somebody?"

We're not quite sure what happened to this unwavering focus on achievement when Noel and Liam were fighting, or the Oasis party was getting thrown into the cells in Munich after bar-room brawls; perhaps we're just meant to applaud them for using fists?

Still, given that there weren't any of that violence in Noel's day - we especially remember how peaceful Moss Side was back in the late 1980s - what could be the cause?

"People say it's through violent video games and I guess that's got something to do with it."

Yes, that's it Noel. Young people are arming themselves with knives because they're afraid they're going to be attacked by Super Mario. Computer games... give us strength... half... oh... Nintendogs, nintendogs...

Morrissey's futureshock

Can we have heard that properly? In 6Music's report of Mozzer's interview with Hot Press, did they really say that Morrissey chided people who cling to the Smiths for getting too mired in "looking backwards"?

If you're going to critcise the Johnny Marr haircut in someone's eye, you might want to check the Charles Hawtrey and Pat Phoenix sleeves in your own, mate.

Strange goings on in York

Just what is happening in York? Tim Hornsby - who founded and used to manage the legendary Fibbers venue in the city - has been attempting to open a new venue, The Duchess. We got an email earlier this morning from Andy, who told us about the troubles the Duchess were having getting a licence.

The Police, Fire Service and Council were - it appears - all happy, but a series of objections apparently coming from Barfly - who now own Fibbers - was throwing things off kilter by filing objections and ensuring the licence application was subject of a full enquiry. A post on the Duchess website attempted to rally local support in advance of the independent hearing:

If you really agree with opening the live music venue that everybody in York has wanted for so long; and if you genuinely believe that we pose no threat to public safety, local traders and neighbours or even our own customers, please drop us a quick line tim@duchessofyork.co.uk, start your own petition, anything! No vendettas or "boycott Fibbers stuff" please. Your messages of support will be presented to the enquiry.

All fair enough - and the post stressed that it was perfectly legal for Barfly to object and trigger this part of the process.

Curiously, though, that post has been removed and replaced:

We have received a solicitor's letter this morning from Barfly advising us to remove this news story.

Perhaps Barfly objected to the tone of the piece; maybe they just don't want the story playing out in public. But it seems a little unfair to insist that your rivals remove a story soliciting support for their campaign - especially when the Duchess had taken great care to ensure the focus was on support for their venue rather than a pointless war with the Barfly group.

Bag of spite: Oasis trumped by Halliwell

What does it say if Noel Gallagher and Geri Halliwell come up with the same title for a record?

Well, admittedly, nothing you haven't thought before:

"The missus goes, 'Bag It Up'? Isn’t that a song by Geri Halliwell? I was like, 'You've ruined my entire fucking year'."

Oh, god, how grating is that 'the missus', like he's a man of the people or something. He might as well start wearing a cap made from whippets.

And Noel has confirmed that he's hired Robbie Williams' drummer:

"It was too much of a temptation to piss Robbie and Liam off in one phone call"

What a way to run a happy ship... telling new member that he's basically there to annoy other people... idiot... can't concentrate... concentrate... fruit juice... jam... hmm... breakfast...

Shiny new band: Summer Cats

We've always been impressed with the quality of Australian indie pop. Something to do, we think, with being exposed to Snipe fanzine back in our youth, a zine which wouldn't look at a band unless it knew its VB from its Fosters.

And still - all these years later - Australia is shooting out perfectly formed bands like Summer Cats. You know you'll love them, because they list Irene's role as "keys, Shaker, Vox and doing the arm dance".

They've just released a split 7" with Portland's Eux Autres. This is what they sound like when they make the noise they make:

Lydon plumps self up again

Most people would admit that The Sex Pistols weren't even the best punk band of their time, much less a genre-striding group of genius. John Lydon, though, isn't most people:

"This [the DVD he was shilling for] is edited highlights, but anyone who is potentially interested in seeing true British genuine quality of work should pay attention to this, we are Britain's finest."

"Always have been, alright? And there's only one man in England who really can save the Queen and it would be Johnny Rotten."

Oooh, he mentioned the Queen again! Ooh! It's like its 1977 all over agai... oh, no, sorry. Nobody noticed.

Given that the Pistols were, basically, a marketing exercise - albeit a wonderfully executed one - Lydon still popping up banging on about how great they were is a bit like seeing, say, the PG Tips chimps or the Guinness Toucan sharing their opinions about modern beverages.

Contact Music prejudges outcome

As if the 'Mark Ronson puffs on stage' story wasn't slight enough, Contact Music manage to bungle the reporting:

West Oxfordshire District have confirmed they have launched an investigation into the allegations and will be examining photo evidence of the gig.

A council spokeswoman tells British newspaper the Daily Mirror, "Our environmental health department will be investigating it and meeting with organisers and reviewing what went on. We can't say now whether we're prosecuting him (Ronson) or not."

If he is prosecuted over the offence, Ronson will receive a minor $100 (GBP50) penalty but the event's organiser will be fined $5,000 (GBP2,500).

Erm... you don't get fined when you're prosecuted, but if you're convicted - and then, those are maximum fines.

Still, great news for the good people of West Oxfordshire District Council to see how their council tax is being wasted - the council has even established a freephone line for snitching ('free' in the sense of 'paid for by council tax'); it's far from clear which member of the public complained about Ronson's fag - or, indeed, if an outdoor stage is an indoor space in the meaning of the act. Surely this is a case where a ticking off - rather than an expensive prosecution - is commensurate?

Gordon in the morning: Will this do?

It's a thin day over on the Bizarre desk this morning, with Gordon reduced to plugging space by running those Blake 'sex' letters again - credited to "Online reporter". And it's always a great sign when nobody wants their name put to a story, isn't it?

The Sun comes over all maiden aunt:

Please note that although we have censored these letters they still contain sexually explicit references that some readers may find offensive.

Yes, there's every chance that someone following a link to a story about Blake's Kinky Rude Sex Letter Shock Kink Sex Rude Rude might suddenly be offensive.

The paper hasn't even been bothered to transcribe the letters - just slapped them on a scanner. Even by the low standards of Bizarre, it's struggling to reach half-arsed.

In the paper, mind, Gordon bangs on for two pages about how much he loves Rhys Ifans' band. Nobody seems to have been able to bring themselves to put that online yet.

Questions, questions

We've been contacted by a researcher who is conducting a study into music blogs - and they want to hear from you. There's a few questions about your music life and the research will not be used to create a superweapon that will destroy the earth or anything nasty like that. Go on, give it a go.

MFDM Thursday Evening Special: Drive Drive Drive

Exhausting the YouTube offerings - all too quickly - from Man From Del Monte, this is Drive Drive Drive:



[Earlier: My Love Is Like A Gift...]

Viacom deny they want anything personal

Viacom are trying to salvage their reputation in the YouTube information hand-over by denying they want to infringe your privacy:

Viacom said it “has not asked for and will not be obtaining any personally identifiable information of any user”.

Oh, really?

They want user names and IP addresses, and the videos which people have watched. This, of course, is information which could be completely anonymous, but - as we saw with the release of supposedly anonymous data from AOL - there is anonymous data, and data which can be pieced together with other information to not be anonymous any more.

On a broader philosophical note, why is someone's Google ID not an identity which should be treated with the same respect as your name in the real world? Many people use the same screen-name in many places; if you've done nothing illegal, and haven't been accused of anything illegal, shouldn't that identity be spared from being violated by a corporation in the same way as your passport-and-social-security identity?

Embed and breakfast man: Say yes to the best

There's nothing like enough for a full weekend of Man From Del Monte stuff, so instead, as a mini-event, it's Man From Del Monte Thursday evening.

At the time, we thought of them as a poppier Kitchens Of Distinction, but we're now busily reworking that as an ahead-of-their-time Art Brut. They were from the second half of the 1980s, but the use of those fake flowers that vibrated in time to sound would have told you that.

What we didn't know until just digging out their Wikipedia entry was that, if you believe the wisdom of crowds, they were managed by the young Jon Ronson. It probably says a lot about his management nous that there's only two videos by the band surviving on YouTube.

This is My Love Is Like A Gift You Can't Give Back:



[Later Drive Drive Drive]

Plan B for Allen: Scouting

If Lily Allen's second album flops, she's got an idea of what to do next: turning to A&R:

"I'm really scared about what people are going to say. Some people will like it and some won't.

"If people hate it, then I'll just try something else. I'd really like to do A&R at a record company. I love going to gigs."

Great idea. If you're able to so badly misjudge the public taste as to turn your career into a nosedive, why not share that anti-midas touch with record labels as a career?

In these shoes

Is there anything more depressing than the news that Kanye West is "designing" shoes for Louis Vuitton?

Well, yes, there is, loads and loads of things that are worse than that. But how quickly does a sting get drawn - one day standing up for the rights of those George Bush left to drown; now just a pointless, trivial, vacuum.

Subpop singles again

The Subpop singles club - of course, you never got to see any of their records, but it always brightened up a corner of the Peel show when he got to announce "this, then is the latest from the SubPop Singles Club..."

Obviously, we won't be hearing those words again, but the SubPop singles club is back. And it's signed up Black Lips, Black Mountain, the Notwist, Mika Miko and... you know the deal. Bands who you suspect will still be cool by the time the 40th anniversary of SubPop comes round.

Mogwai: Come on, try free

As a taster for the new album, Mogwai are releasing a free mp3 download, The Sun Smells Too Loud. We could link straight to the mp3, but it's much more fun to go through the page before.

Alan McGee doesn't love the companies

We're sure that Alan McGee's latest spot of record-company slapping is in no way motivated by the failure of Poptones, oh no:

"I'd recommend a band not to go to any record label, I think they're all fucking rubbish.

"You're better off doing it yourself. They're living in the past, it's like owning a tram company or something."

Like running a tram company? Like the one that runs the trams in Manchester, do you mean, or the one that runs the Croydon trams? You really think that owning a record company is akin to being in charge of a modern, rapid, urban transport network?

We suspect he probably meant something more like a steam railway, didn't he?

Love will tear up the stone - again

Someone has pinched Ian Curtis' headstone from his grave. Not quite as bad as what happened to Gram Parsons, certainly, but still incredibly disrespectful.

Via-late-com

So, can anyone at Viacom explain why, in the pursuit of people who have shared what they claim is their material on YouTube, they require to know the user name, IP address and details of every video watched by anyone anywhere in the world?

More to the point, how can Viacom reassure me that the data about what videos I have watched are going to be kept safe?

It seems a little unfair that an American judge can violate our privacy in the UK for no actual reason, so we're sending off a polite letter to a senior person in the UK branches of Viacom, inviting them to use their influence on their parent company to save Viacom from getting a reputation for being a heavy-handed organisation with no respect for individual privacy.

Nick Bampton - nick.bampton@viacombrandsolutions.co.uk - is the managing director of Viacom Brand Solutions and, you hope, in a position to have a gentle word.

If you want to complain direct to Viacom in the US, their contact form actually insists that you relate your comment to one of their networks - Viacom, it seems, believes we will all have a relationship with one of its channels. Perhaps that's why it can't conceive of our online activity having absolutely nothing to do with them.

Another time to pretend

We noticed zooming up the Pentonville Road yesterday that there's a big splashy MGMT album poster campaign down in the capital; but even while their faces are hovering high above the afternoon commute-stream, the band are laying plans:

"We've been longing to get in the studio for a while because we got out of it recording our last album about a year ago," said Andrew Van Wyngarden

"We're definitely ready to start working on some new stuff," he added. "I think in January we’re gonna start recording and hopefully put an album out next summer."

His bandmate Ben Goldwasser explained: "We work better when we sit down in a room and go for it, but we don't have much time to do that right now."

That's going on for a rate of an album every twenty months. If they don't get to sit down a little more often, they might well burn themselves out at that pace.

John Lydon complains that things aren't like what they were in his day, and how kids today, they don't know they're bloody born

John Lydon, off I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and member of a Sid Vicious tribute act doesn't hold with modern festivals:

“I was remembering festivals in the 70s and how crazy mad they used to be and what great fun,” he told the Daily Star.

“This lot were deckchairs, posh Butlins – what I was performing to was polite schoolteachers.”

“But it’s all right because it’s not the kids that need education – it’s that lot. I didn’t go to Glastonbury because what’s that without the hippies and the rave?”

What a terrible shock it must be for Lydon to find himself in front of an audience of middle-aged, middle-class professionals unlike the audience for 1970s nostalgia shows he usually plays, who tend to be late middle-aged, middle-class semi-professionals.

More to the point: What's Glastonbury without the hippies? But, erm, wasn't your whole raison d'etre taking a stand against the hippies, John?

Darkness at 3AM: Pecking orders 'not Transatlantic' shock

3AM are enquiring minds who want to know:

Don't Jay-Z and Pharrell realise that Peaches Geldof is the party scene queen?

The hip-hop legends were chatting away at the Maddox Club, London, but didn't notice Peaches loitering by the VIP area.

This assumes they'd (a) know who she is and/or (b) think that it mattered in the first place, surely?

When anthems clash

Trouble in Denver, where the invited national anthem singing guest for John Hickenlooper's mayoral "State of the City" address chose to play an unexpected round of One Song To The Tune Of Another:

"The city asked Rene Marie to sing the national anthem at (Tuesday's) State of the City event. She agreed to do so. We expected her to sing the national anthem, and she deceived us," the mayor told reporters at a press conference in front of the City and County Building.

"Her actions show a certain lack of understanding for how strongly our community feels about patriotic symbols and traditions, and certainly overshadowed a day of great importance to our city," Hickenlooper said.

Marie's anthem choice immediately triggered public outrage.

Marie sang the first verse of James Weldon Johnson's Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing, also known as the Black National Anthem, but adapted those lyrics to the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner.

She also upset people in Denver by refusing to allow the Platform Blocking Move on the Denver Light Rail adaptation of Mornington Crecent.

Hickenlooper had, to be fair, at first taken a hands-off, 'hey, this is art, this is freedom, what's the problem?' approach, before discovering that swing voters didn't share that view; then, he changed his mind:

[I]n a tradition-laden civic ceremony that included a law enforcement color guard presenting our flags and the Pledge of Allegiance - making a personal substitution for the national anthem was not an option. We asked for The Star-Spangled Banner and that's what we expected," he said.

"We will do whatever it takes to ensure that a situation like this never occurs again, even if I have to sing the national anthem myself," Hickenlooper added. "If people feel the city of Denver or the mayor has in any way disrespected them, I'm happy to apologize."

Yeah - can you imagine turning up to find out what's happening with the taxes and laws of the city, and there not being a song about exploding bombs and red rockets flying through the air to start it off with? How can you concentrate on the fiscal state of the place without a bit of singalongaslaughter first, eh?

How does Hickenlooper intend to ensure that "this never happens again", though? His suggested idea - of him singing - has already got civil liberties protesters up in arms on the basis of the constitution barring cruel and unusual punishments.
Amongst those who felt slighted was the Dawn's Early Light, which told USA Today it was especially annoyed as "it doesn't seem much to ask, that people sing about me, what with me rolling out of bed first thing every day. And the hand on the heart thing - that's cute, isn't it?"

Twilight's Last Gleaming was unavailable for comment.