H from Steps takes on the criminal justice system

Despite his showing on Celebrity Big Brother - where he came across as having rather more dimensions than you might have thought - it's a bit of a surprise to discover H 'H from Steps' from Steps leading calls to unseat a JP.

Ian Watkins - presumably he wasn't known as "I" when he was in Steps because it might have confused the others, who sometimes call themselves I - was making a documentary about growing up gay and alone in a Welsh village. It's called... oh, you know what it's going to be called, don't you? During the course of filming, he voxpopped what he took to be a twinkling old man, who shared his broad views on homosexuality:

We haven’t got much time for them. Well, I think probably it’s a suspicion of the mainstream that they perhaps will interfere with young people and so on and that’s historically been the case.

“That is the danger. Paedophiles, not necessarily but they do, don’t they, that’s the reality.”

The twinkly old homophobe turned out to be magistrate Byron Butler - the Western Mail describes him as "married", in case you couldn't guess - and H isn't pleased:

“I was dumb-founded by his comments and I was even more shocked when I found out he is a magistrate sitting in judgement on people.

“There is no way I believe he can be fair and impartial with people when he makes comments about gay people being paedophiles. It is just so outrageous. There is absolutely no evidence to back up what he says and it is very offensive. The world has changed and Wales has changed so much.”

The Office of Judicial Complaints is now looking into Butler's position, during which Butler has stepped down. Whoever would have thought a programme named after a comedy catchphrase, presented by a song-and-dance man, would actually improve the quality of a nation's justice?

High days and Hallidays

Those of you who are excited about the return of Curve's Toni Halliday with her Chatelaine project are just about to get even more excited: Auralgasms internet radio has her on live this Sunday at 10pm EST (four in the morning in London). It says "talking" rather than "playing", but who knows?

Unbreak My Heart

Toni Braxton - who has had heart problems in the past - has been cancelling gigs this week after she was hospitalised with chest pains. Her people are hoping she'll be well enough to pick up the tour next week.

Something to listen to: Tilly And The Wall

We had been going to work up some London Marathon related "hitting the wall" joke for this, but then decided not to: a taste of Tilly And The Wall's new album, O, in the shape of an mp3 of Cacophony.

Robbie Williams is not on the shortlist for presenting Today

This should be interesting: Robbie Williams and Jon Ronson have teamed up to make a programme about UFOs for Radio 4. Robbie Williams is known for a long-standing interest in extra-terrestrial life; Jon Ronson has carved a niche of making programmes about eccentric obsessives, gently unpicking their fascinations. There's a preview in this week's Guardian Weekend - because Ronson knows how to use his material to best effect. Or maximum earning potential, anyway.

Embed and breakfast man: Deus

The new Deus single - we could tell you about it, how it's called Architect and a return to a more industrial sound and all that - but instead, we'll show you:



New album Vantage Point is out on the 28th.

Manson: won't grin, album in purgatory

Whatever happened to that solo Shirley Manson album, you might be wondering? It turns out that the label aren't letting it out dressed like that:

"I've been working on solo material but I don't actually have anything coming out, although I'm working on it. Unfortunately, I'm at a bit of an impasse with my record label.

"I played some of the stuff to them not long ago and they described it as being very noir. At the time, I took the comment as being a huge compliment. That they liked the intensity of my material. But then I realised it wasn't intended as a compliment.

"But I'm 41 - I'm a woman not a kid. I have no interest in making silly pop music and I don't want to wear a silly sexy outfit and sell myself short.

"I'm sure it will all get sorted out in the end. But I do think record companies, in general, have different ideas about how they promote women.

"In the end, it is down to each and every woman to fight to be treated as an individual. I just want to be who I am."

These things are so much easier if you just put on a bloody catsuit and do the duet with Justin Timberlake, Shirely.

Bravely, Warners refused to comment on the story to the Daily Record.

Darkness at 3AM: Cubicle rats

The 3AM Girls also have the story about Noel, Borrell and Allen in the toilets, but they're even more nervous about the heavy-handed drug hints. At least Gordon put his nudge-nudge wink-wink in his own mouth; the 3AMies make the "drugs" allusion come from the mouth of "one partygoer":

"Who knows what they were all up to in there... but it certainly got up someone's nose!"

If you have toes, prepare to curl them now. Underneath perhaps one of the least interesting headlines ever committed to print:

Agyness Deyn wears prom dress to her birthday party

the 3AM Girls report that iD threw a party for her "with a northern theme."

As if the thought of braying metropolitan fashionistas dressing up as "northerners" wasn't bad enough, the Daily Mirror finds a way to add insult to injury:

[S]he wore a pretty prom dress. What, no flat cap!

It's not recorded if the ate coal during the party.

Gordon in the morning: Rowling in the aisles

We know Gordon's sometimes struggling to fill his pages, but today he's got a story so thin it could fall down a cattlegrid. It's a picture of JK Rowling and her publicist which, at the angle and moment it's taken, makes it look the publicist might have his hand on her breast. Until you look for more than two seconds and can see from the shadow that the hand is nowhere near the bosom of the wizard-writer.

Of course, you don't have to accept our word for it. Even Gordon's attempt to talk up the paper acknowledges that he's running an optical illusion under the cover of a story:

But red-faced JK, 42 — who picked up the Outstanding Achievement gong on Wednesday night — had publicist Mark Hutchinson on hand to cover her up.

Shame it looked so like a grope.

Shame it didn't, actually. Well, in the sense that if you're going to run a picture of someone supposedly looking like they're groping someone, it would be better if they did look like they were.

Gordon's big story is the aftermath of Noel Fielding's Teenage Cancer Charity trust gig, which saw Lily Allen, Noel and Johnny Borrell being evicted from toilets, supposedly. Gordon taps his nose:

I can’t think what that trio were doing together in a loo.

Lily claims she was dodging the queue in the ladies. I’ll take her word for it.

Smart also returns to the subject of Calum Best's black eye, as some of his readers have done his job for him and filled in the backstory:

I HAVE solved the CALUM BEST black eye riddle — and it’s as obvious as a punch in the face.

No, you haven't "solved" anything, Gordon. You asked if anyone knew what had happened, and apparently a large number of people told you. That's not "solving", that's "being told". Sherlock Holmes didn't solve crimes by asking Watson if he knew what had happened, waiting until Watson told him and then saying "ah, yes. I've solved that one, then."

What's more interesting is that Gordon seems to have forgotten about the whole "not condoning violence" bit as he seems quite thrilled telling the tale of a bloke punching Best when he found him talking to his wife.

Elton John campaigns for president

Elton John has been busily raising funds for the Hilary Clinton campaign, while apparently trying to campaign on behalf of Jimmy Carter, too. He took time off to, erm, complain about the Reagan administration's inaction on AIDS which, while admittedly important, is hardly a hot-button issue in the 2008 election.

Venuewatch: CBGB shop opens as protest cries "pants"

The store - it calls itself a "boutique", which is French for "overpriced clothes shop" - that has taken over the address of CBGBs has opened. A small protest gathered outside, with placards:

"One small loss of a music space, one large step for pants"

Or possibly a step for large pants. The pants are not pictured.

Hadouken want to play to the middle classes

Hadouken aren't that impressed by Glastonbury:

"Glastonbury is a bit of a middle class schmooze with Kate Moss look-alikes trying to look their best in Ugg Boots."

So, you'd knock back Emily 'festival guru' Eavis if she came at your with a contract and a cheque?

“It is the king of festivals, so if we were to do it, that would be fantastic.”

Aha. It also seems that - despite writing it off as a sea of Mossalikes in Uggs, Hadouken don't actually know much about the festival. Suggesting reasons for the lack of sell-out:

“I wouldn’t say it is any of those particular headliners, I think it’s a combination of those acts not appealing to a certain person. I don’t think the person who wants to go see the Friday night will maybe want to go see hip-hop on a Saturday night.”

They do realise that you don't actually have to watch all the pyramid stage headliners, don't they?

Wentz-Simpson: A union is announced

It's been confirmed that Pete Wentz, advertising shill from Fall Out Boy and Ashlee Simpson, off of Saturday Night Live's sketch about someone's sister accidentally being booked as a musical guest, are to be married:

She told People magazine: "Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged.

"We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know because you guys are the best."

Presumably, though, Simpson and Wentz's families knew beforehand? So who, exactly, are "the fans" finding out ahead of? "We want the fans to know before we sail off to the Andes to tell the indigent population of our plans - it's only right."

And while we're sure that Wentz's fans are "the best" in many ways, we suspect that what Simpson really means it "we wanted to tell the fans as you guys will have to tune in to watch the series about the wedding on MTV this fall."

Bad news for Global: Radio is easy, not essential

It's a survey, and it's American, but even so: Radio and Internet Newsletter is running a report which says that the main reason people choose to listen to music on the wireless is because it's convenient. As the newsletter asks: with wi-fi in-car online hook-ups becoming more and more plausible, where will that leave radio, then? Global GCap are trying to shape the future of their stations by cutting costs - they might be better off thinking about ways to make it compelling.

Most of these men sing like Suggs

Why you should never regift: Gwen Stefani apparently loves Suggs, and sent him a pair of tickets for her London show last year:

[Gwen] stopped the gig and turned the spotlight on the audience asking, "Where's Suggs? I've heard he's here tonight."

Trouble is, he wasn't: he'd just passed the tickets on to his daughters. He was probably off making fish finger adverts or something.

Cowell: The Brits are snobs

You might recall last month Simon Cowell was telling everyone how it was a good thing Leona Lewis didn't win a Brit:

"I was glad Leona didn't win at the Brits. It was the best thing that could have happened."

Only now, it turns out, he thinks it was a bad thing:

"Leona at The Brits tells you everything about the record business. I believe you should recognise and celebrate success."

Although not doing so was supposedly the best thing that could have happened.

What's really going on here is nothing to do with Leona Lewis, and everything to do with Simon Cowell's feeling that he's the victim of some establishment conspiracy:

"I don't like The Brits, they're too sarcastic. They don't represent what's right in Britain at the moment."

The Brits are too sarcastic? This from a man whose main schtick is delivering pre-written 'witticisms' of a "My Way? You should try it any other way" nature?

And as for "not expressing what's right in Britain" - if that actually means anything - if he's suggesting that the Brits should just give prizes on sales, wouldn't that make them the charts?

It's because the music industry doesn't like us show people, cries Cowell:

I believe you should recognise and celebrate success. You don't sneer at it and it doesn't matter where that artist came from.

"This is the problem. People say, 'Leona can't be serious because she entered X Factor.' They sneer. But shows like X Factor are there because doors have been closed. You have to start changing your attitude - give her one award for God's sake!"

This does miss the somewhat key fact that Lewis was invited to perform in front of the watching many, which hardly suggests the Brits organisers were sneering at her (unless we missed something - was ITV2 simultaneously showing people pointing and laughing?) and, indeed, shortlisted her for a number of awards.

And is it really true to say that X Factor exists to open doors which have otherwise been closed to potential artists? Isn't the ability of labels to generate easy sales off the short-lived backs of Chicos and Gareths doing more harm to the ability of young, talented pop musicians than it does good? Surely part of the reason EMI's regime feels confident about downsizing A&R is because they can just wait until a reality TV star turns up with a camera crew and a lopsided demo of them doing a cover of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful from Granada Reports?

Most of these men seem like subs

The beeping you can hear? That's the temperature being taken of celebrity: With Pete Doherty inside, Liam Gallagher has been drafted in as a replacement for the charity soccer six tournament.

Oh, Liam. Do you remember when you didn't have to wait for someone to miss a probation meeting before you'd be called into a celebrity charity event?

Michael Jackson: Many things, not a killer

The family who were suing Michael Jackson, claiming that their relative died after she was moved from critical care to make way for Jacko, have had their case dismissed.

Darkness at 3AM: Jay-Z is coming

Glastonbury are clearly heavily-humped with The Sun; they've given the Mirror an exclusive interview knocking down Smart's 'Jay-Z no show' scoops.

The Mirror aren't that bothered, though: there's a small piece in 3AM:

Festival guru Emily Eavis told 3am Jay-Z WILL still headline this year's Glastonbury.

She said: "Who wouldn't want the greatest living hip hop artist playing? If we had Coldplay again we'd be criticised."

Blimey, they've got Afrika Bambaataa playing as well, have they?

We love the idea that Emily Eavis is a "festival guru"

Actually, having read the full interview, which the Mirror shovels off as web-only, it's possible the paper thought that was the only usable bit:

“I spoke to his production people yesterday and everyone is gung-ho and totally upbeat about Jay’s appearance here. Obviously, there’s been a lot of hoo-ha about it elsewhere, but the response we’ve had from the public has been incredible.

“We’re just so excited that we’re having a legend on the farm and the overwhelming reaction we’ve had has been really positive, there’s a real buzz.

So, it's a gung-ho buzz despite hoo-ha; a positve response to an upbeat decision which has been incredible.

While Eavis senior was fairly blunt about pointing the finger of blame for the story at the Millennium Dome, Emily's not quite so keen to name names:

"But we’ve been coming up against some underlying ill-feeling from certain quarters that we don’t really understand.”

If Emily ever follows her Dad into politics, she's never going to be accused of dealing in soundbites.

She then tries to spin 'Glastonbury tickets left unsold' as somehow being down to people's perceptions:

"It’s been a really great response, quite overwhelming. We think some people just didn’t know about registration, or they just thought they didn’t have a chance of buying a ticket even if they did.”

Well, yes, the demand was overwhelming, taking down websites, so in that sense it's true. Underwhelming, though, when compared with responses in previous years.

But what of the explanation about registration causing low sales? Is it really likely that fewer people would have known about registration in the second year of operation? Admittedly, we've all forgotten about that big battle of cybermen and daleks over Canary Wharf; perhaps as a nation we've forgotten that, too.

Then, we're expected to believe that people went to all the trouble of registering - photos, passwords, account creation - but then, when the tickets went on sale, decided "oh, there's no chance to getting a ticket" and didn't bother to log on. In large numbers.

Gordon in the morning: Rattling the bars

Catching up after Pete Samson had taken care of the actual business yesterday, Gordon finally gives his attention to Pete Doherty's imprisonment this morning. Smart tries to suggest that he's been "abandoned" by his friends.

It's not quite clear how this is supposed to be true - what with, for example, Babyshamble's other blokes telling the NME how, you know, it's a tragedy and everything, but Gordon has a good shot at trying to paint a picture of a man cut off and cast out:

Pete’s current squeeze IRINA LAZAREANU tried to contact his ex KATE MOSS on Tuesday to inform her he’d been handed a 14-week stint.

Irina — Kate’s pal who Pete recently rekindled a fling with — and her mates left messages to break the news to the supermodel, but she didn’t reply.

They then tried to contact her through a friend, and were told: “She knows. She’s seen it on TV.

“She doesn’t care.”

I don't know if Gordon has somehow missed it, but Kate and Pete have long-since had a nasty split-up. It was in the papers, Gordon. Do you think that it might not be that surprising that she's not interested?

But that's not all Gordon's got:

When Wino was told the news by a pal she, erm, chortled.

A pal revealed: “Amy’s first reaction when she heard was to laugh.

“Pete had told everyone he was just going to court for a quick appearance and had no idea he was going to jail.

“She just laughed and kept saying, ‘I can’t believe it’. Pete’s just a comedy character to Amy. She thinks he’s a bit of a clown.”

Now, if this is true - and, you know, it's not like there's any reason to believe it is - but laughing and going "I don't believe it" when you hear surprising news isn't quite the same thing as thinking something is funny, is it? And if Amy Winehouse believes Pete Doherty is a clown, why did she a marry a Pete Doherty tribute act?

So with Kate not caring and Amy laughing, Pete might have expected some support from his loyal fans.

But not so. They are furious Pete’s jail term means he has cancelled the biggest gig of his life, at the Royal Albert Hall on April 26.

One wrote on a fan site: “How could Pete be so selfish as to let down hundreds of people? F***ing fuming. Pete Doherty is a ....” — you get the picture.

Yes, Gordon Smart - Showbiz editor of the UK's biggest-selling daily paper - is filling his column by reprinting random messages from internet messageboards. And without even crediting the board.

Wonder if anyone would notice if he just cuts and pastes the whole of Popbitch into the page tomorrow?

Anything that's kept Weiland in employment has to be bad

Scott Weiland, he doesn't trust the music industry much, does he?

He tells Blabbermouth.net, "I think we're a bit smarter, a lot more wiser. Because the music business has shrunken so much and has eaten itself, those survivors out there, they're a lot more cutthroat.

"You definitely have to watch your back and you have to be smart in order to not get taken advantage of. So I think we've all learned from those experiences."

Actually, if they're cut-throats, you'd have to watch your front, wouldn't you? And we're not quite sure why the music business has managed to shrink and eat itself.

BBC's lack of Live Earth time delay earns a ticking off

The BBC coverage of Live Earth - and in particular, the 23 uses of "fucking" and "motherfucking" - has earned the Corporation a very strict and very cross dressing down from Ofcom - although they won't be fined.

The swearing - mostly down to Chris Rock and Snoop Dogg - poured out of screens during Al Gore's attempt to save the planet by flying pop stars round and round it in aeroplanes. The BBC hadn't broadcast the event of time delay, despite the exact same thing having happened on Live 8. Gamely, they did try to suggest this wasn't a bad move:

In the case of Live Earth, the BBC said it had been given full sight of running orders, films and scripts in advance and had not been denied access to artists and their managers. There had been meetings and written communications both internally and between Live Earth organisers and the BBC. The organisers had given repeated written assurances that the problems seen at Live8 would not recur, and that all the required steps would be taken in relation to artists and their managers.

In addition, the BBC said that it had identified the artists whom it regarded as
potentially problematic, and had taken steps, for example by briefing artists and
monitoring the live output, to avoid the broadcast of inappropriate material before the watershed.

Mmm. A signed piece of paper from Snoop Dogg saying he won't swear. Neville Chamberlain would understand.

The BBC's justification for not running with a time delay is a little odd, too:

The BBC considered, amongst other things, that the use of a short time delay was not appropriate because it would have resulted in coverage which was in no sense ‘live’, of an event which was accessible ‘live’ on other UK platforms.

A seven-second delay would have made it not-live? Because someone else might be listening to it on the radio and it wouldn't quite sync up?

Ofcom, though, takes into account that the BBC does admit it ballsed up, which is why they're going to make them say "sorry" on BBC 1 and BBC 2. Management will probably just be relieved there's no big cash fine to pay.

Free music drives real sales

Once again proving that the music industry's fear of the full stream is misplaced, Last FM have released figures showing their sales are up since they introduced free, full-track streaming:

Since this additional service launched on the site in January, overall CD and download sales through Last.fm's partnership with Amazon.com increased 119%.

And this isn't just down to the new users the streams have brought into the site - pre-existing members are buying 66% more, too.

Squirrels-ah! When Mark E Smith attacks

What is it with Mancunian popstars and animal cruelty? After Shaun Ryder's war on pigeons, we've now got Mark E Smith claiming to kill squirrels:

The gruff singer claimed he would "happily set about an endangered red squirrel with a set of professional hedge-clippers".

"Squirrels mean nothing to me. I killed a couple last weekend actually. They were eating my garden fence.

"My sisters are animal lovers and they had been leaving food out for these squirrels. They've got rats in the bloody house now. Serves 'em right."

To make matters worse, the maverick frontman went on to add that he 'wouldn't have a problem' with running over seagulls for fun.

Although unsavory, we somehow can't picture Mark E Smith using hedge clippers at all, much less being nifty enough on his pins to start chopping animals up.

It's the Daily Mail who bring this story to our attention - of course, they're struggling to explain Mark E Smith to a readership who, frankly, probably don't recognise their own carers, never mind pop stars. First of all, as is the Mail's way, they try to subtly link him to the BBC:

The short-tempered punk rocker - said to have been one of Radio 1 DJ John Peel's favourite acts - bragged to a music magazine he had "killed a couple last weekend".

We love that "said to be", as if there is any room for any doubt whatsoever that Peel loved the Fall.

They then try to place him in some sort of musical context. Maybe he writes songs about being cruel to animals, perhaps?

The group - whose songs include Disney's Dream Debased and DIY Meat - have released 95 albums since forming in 1976

Well, they're sort of cruel about animals, a bit.

Then they get the RSPCA in to comment:

Miss Kennett said: "Running over gulls is also an offence and the RSPCA has prosecuted people for illegal killing of both squirrels and gulls - and would not hesitate to do so again.

"To suggest in a magazine read by youngsters that it is a good idea to harm wildlife is both extremely stupid and highly irresponsible."

This was Uncut, so the RSPCA needn't worry about impressionable young people being corrupted.

It's not funny, and it's disheartening, but it's equally tiring to see the Mail getting exercised about a Fall interview in Uncut. It's hardly porn-heroin in our classrooms, is it?

Babyshambles carry on

It's not even Hamlet without the Prince. It's more like Punch and Judy without the bloke who holds up the puppets. Babyshambles are heading on with talking about their new album despite Pete Doherty being inside.

As if it wasn't bad enough trying to work out who's who on B-Wing, Doherty is now going to have to worry about returning to find the Sleeperblokes have taken over the band.

Gordon in the morning: Under the glowing flame

For reasons we can't quite place - although we suspect it might have something to do with Murdoch's craven courting of the Chinese government - the business of Bizarre, along with all other business of The Sun, is taking place under a Sun masthead featuring an animated gif of an "olympic" flame. Presumably it's only a matter of time before the paper's website completes its rewind to 1996 and features dripping blood and dancing babies all over the shop.

Gordon's main business this morning is claims sourced from a "senior police source" that Naomi Campbell suggests she was only arrested and cautioned "because she was black", but:

“It’s a bit rich coming from her.

“The WPC said she was called a white this and a white that.

“She has been away from work since the incident.”

Gordon pulls, well, most of his punches detailing what Campbell supposedly said:

Now cops claim she called a WPC a “white ****” and a “white s**g” as she was dragged off the LA-bound jet in handcuffs.

The police source said Naomi continued, screaming: “****ing white honkeys” at the officer and her colleagues.

So, "slag" loses its middle letters - presumably lest readers assume Campbell said "shit", but the first word is lost in its entirety. Presumably "cunt"? So Gordon's readership would blanch at looking at his page to see some good old-fashioned shots down women's shirts and talk about breasts, only to come across foul language. And the fit of vapours would be so bad, they can't even have a hint of what one word is - but, equally, "slag" would be unacceptable for them, but enough clues can point to the word without spelling it out, so they'll know its meant to be slag anyway.

Also, while none of Campbell's alleged behaviour is pleasant, is being called a "s**g" or a "****" really so bad member of the police force would have to take time off work to recover?

Gordon mentions that Naomi has been banned from BA flights in future; he doesn't offer any explanation as to why not being allowed on the fall-apart flag carrier is considered to be a punishment. "Go on, go and see if American can lose your suitcases."

More airport fun: Geri Halliwell passes through security at LAX; her kid gets a bit grumpy. An everyday event, you might think. Not so Gordo:

Whinger Spice

SINGER GERI HALLIWELL grabs daughter Bluebell Madonna by her hoodie — as the tot has a tantrum at an airport.

Seriously, Gordon, if you think having a pop at a toddler for not enjoying waiting in a hot airport to be checked for explosives is the stuff of journalism, you might want to step aside.

Pushing Gordon out the way, Pete Samson delivers an opinion piece on Pete Doherty's incarceration. It's headlined:

About Time Too

- we suspect that refers to his elevation to official voice of the Bizarre column rather than Pete's imprisonment, but maybe not.

By finally jailing him it gives the right message to Pete and his fans.

... although, we're pretty certain, just liking someone's music doesn't yet constitute a criminal offence, is it?

Oh, yes, the Junos...

We knew we'd forget the second half of the Junos. This is the revised list of winners, including part two of the prizegiving:

ABORIGINAL RECORDING OF THE YEAR - Derek Miller THE DIRTY LOOKS
ADULT ALTERNATIVE ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Blue Rodeo SMALL MIRACLES
ALBUM OF THE YEA) - Feist THE REMINDER
ALTERNATIVE ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Arcade Fire NEON BIBLE
ARTIST OF THE YEAR - Feist
BLUES ALBUM OF THE YEAR - FATHEAD BUILDING FULL OF BLUES
CLASSICAL ALBUM OF THE YEAR: VOCAL OR CHORAL PERFORMANCE - Measha Brueggergosman
COUNTRY RECORDING OF THE YEAR - Paul Brandt RISK
FRANCOPHONE ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Daniel Bélanger L'ÉCHEC DU MATÉRIEL
GROUP OF THE YEAR - Blue Rodeo
ROCK ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Finger Eleven THEM VS. YOU VS. ME
SONGWRITER OF THE YEAR - Feist
JUNO FAN CHOICE AWARD - Michael Bublé
POP ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Feist THE REMINDER

However will Global pay for their GCap takeover?

By cutting costs, of course: Heart and Galaxy are going to "network" much of their programming. James P emails with this:

Only breakfast and drive shows will survive on Galaxy (Heart also get to keep their local mid-morning programmes). Everything else will be networked, with Global claiming it will offer a "quasi-national proposition to advertisers". It's also being described as a 'cost-cutting measure'.

The Global chief executive has an interesting reason for this disposal of local shows; "People assume networking is about big name DJs. It's not, it's about quality presenters. If you take 50 different radio stations there cannot possibly be 50 good presenters at every station in a particular slot. Why not take the two or three quality class players and put them across the network".

The sad part is that he doesn't seem to question why there aren't '50 good presenters at every station in a particular slot', or wonder if it's maybe because the increase in networking across commercial stations means a reduction in the hours for those slots where 'good presenters' got their first break. In the past, off-peak slots could be used to try out new talent. Now they're filled across the country with the same presenter who's, you know, adequate.

Still, when the 'quality class players' decide to take that better job at the BBC or a bingo channel and Global realise there are no experienced presenters to take their place, I suppose there's always ex-Big Brother contestants...

It also misses the things that local radio do really strongly - or did, to be honest, before cost-cutting set in - which is to be local. It's like saying "what's the point of gossiping with people in your street, who might not be very good at it? We'll have one, giant gossip, covering your entire region - you won't actually hear any gossip about people you know, but it will be delivered in an expert fashion.

Orchard worries about future harvests

The big deal between MySpace and the majors, much ballyhooed last week, has unsettled a lot of indie musicians and operators, not least digital distro The Orchard who want to know why Bono gets cash when the current set-up cuts out the hundreds of thousands of artists who made MySpace what it is:

"...it is unclear whether and how the equity the participating major labels received will be shared by them with their artists, or with the independent labels they simply distribute...To our understanding, independents have not been offered any equity.

"... Digital retail is fairer than physical brick-and-mortar retail ever was. iTunes ...helped to shift music industry dynamics towards a more level playing field...In that light, if reports are true, the apparent MySpace licensing approach is troubling. It hearkens back to a time none of us wants to revisit ... Where independent artists and labels were third-class citizens in the global music economy..."

This is a step beyond Billy Bragg's claims that Bebo should share some of its cash with musicians just because; MySpace's deal with the majors has offered some artists some revenue. There is no reason we can think of that smaller artists shouldn't have a share if the existence of a shareable revenue stream has been established.

Striking long, long after the iron has cooled

Chanelle Hayes. Reach back into your mind, and you might remember her from last year's Big Brother. Now, she's capitalising on that fame (alright, capitalising on that slight flicker of recognition) by launching a career as a pop singer. Or, rather, launching a reality show about her launching a career as a pop singer. She wants us to know that, despite having made money as a Victoria Beckham lookalike, and following Victoria Beckham about, and copying Victoria Beckham's hairstyle, that there's more to her than a Posh wannabe:

"I know that people think I'm talentless, but I've played the violin since I was seven and then I did music at A Level. I want to have a go at it and show people that I'm not just a miserable cow walking around with a pout on my face."

Dismissing claims that she is attempting to copy her idol's music style, she said: "Yeah, we wear similar clothes because I choose to but she sings one way and I sing another. I don't sound like her when I speak and I'm not trying to sound like her when I sing."

Aha. It's similar clothes, as in "I came out and would you believe it, to my surprise Victoria Beckham was wearing the very same dress yesterday".

Still, at least she's not copying Beckham's music - she's not that stupid.

"People love to hate, and if people don't like it - fair enough. I've got a CD with my name on it that I can give to my mum and she'll be dead proud."

Yes. You have a CD with your name on. Money can't buy that. Well, actually, it can, but you know what we mean.

There's more, much more to Chanelle:

"I just want to show that I can pose on the cover of a magazine or newspaper but I can also do academic things as well."

Mmm. Good luck with winning the Regis Chair Of Being On A VH1 Programme At Oxford, Chanelle.