MADONNA KNOWS WHAT JESUS WOULD DO. AGAIN.

Oh, how Madonna must be delighted; at last a nation where people don't yawn and turn the page when she pulls a stunt. As we reported earlier, Italy, or at least the Catholic top brass, has decided to take her giant cross bait; now, the little-known Cardinal Tonino (we think that's the one with the tuna on) has called for her to be excommunicated.

Good lord (if you'll forgive the pun), isn't it a little late for that? Haven't there been numerous occasions when, if you were going to ask her to leave the faith, you should have done it? Isn't this a little bit like Oliver Stirling telling Ed Grundy "okay, but if you're actually sick on Caroline, I'll have to ask you to go..."?

"This concert is a blasphemous challenge to the faith and a profanation of the cross. She should be excommunicated,” said Cardinal Tonino, whose statements [...] were approved by Pope Benedict XVI.

We do wonder if the church automatically assumes any use of the cross as anything other than a symbol of Christian worship or vampire-fighting device is blasphemous. Because, while Madonna was clearly pulling Benedict's plonker with this, Jesus wasn't actually crucified on a gaudy mirrored cross, was he?

"To crucify yourself in the city of the pope and the martyrs is an act of open hostility," said Cardinal Ersilio Tonini according to the daily La Stampa Wednesday. "It's a scandal created on purpose by astute merchants to attract publicity."

Yes... well, thank goodness you didn't fall into the trap of those astute merchants by helping generate that publicity, Cardinal. Your silence, and the oh-so-Christian turning of the other cheek, certainly spiked their tawdry attempt to draw... oh, hang on.

For her part, how has Madonna reacted to the news that her motral soul could be thrown for all eternity into the fiery pits of hell, denied the sublime joy of congress with the one true God?

The pop-star’s spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg, claimed in a Thursday e-mail to the Associated Press that "Madonna does not think Jesus would be mad at her, as his teaching of loving thy neighbor and tolerance is Madonna's message as well.”

Perhaps, although Jesus didn't charge £150 for people to see him - and he used to provide a fish supper, too. We also seem to remember that when Madonna's neighbours asked if they could continue to walk across the land their families have walked across for centuries, she had the maps withdrawn to show how much she loved them. To stay away.

music madonna

RIAA DISCUSS AND SUE

With the recent victory over Kazaa, it can only be a matter of time before the RIAA catches a little more up to date and starts to lobby for a levy on all sales of blank digital compact cassettes. In the meantime, it's launching a legal action against LimeWire.

The one piece of soothing balm watching the labels throw their money away bringing action against declining technologies is that every time they stride into court waving papers, it's like watching I Love the Early 2000s. The only thing missing from the chanting of nostalgic, half-forgotten names is Stuart Maconie popping up to blink in that attractive way of his asking "what was it about limes? Are they better suited to file sharing than oranges?"

That the music industry have crashed into court with this is an indication of how they work; LimeWire had been in talks to try and come into line with the RIAA demands of how they should operate. However, it looks like the label cartel have decided to stop talking softly, and gone straight for the big stick:

"Despite numerous efforts to engage LimeWire, the site's corporate owners have shown insufficient interest in developing a legal business model," the Recording Industry Association of America said in a statement. "While other services have come productively to the table, LimeWire has sat back and continued to reap profits on the backs of the music community. That is unfortunate and has left us no choice but to file a lawsuit to protect the rights and livelihoods of artists, songwriters and record label employees."

We're not entirely sure "reaping" is the word we'd have chosen for LimeWire profits, but the music industry has an odd attitude to money. As an example, they're demanding $150,000 for each song shared on the LimeWire network.

music riaa limewire

HAMMOND REACHES BEYOND A STROKE

As if making records with The Strokes and having to tell Drew that Fab isn't in when she calls during rehearsal isn't enough, now Albert Hammond Jr is releasing a solo album as well.

Curiously, it also features Sammy James Junior and Sean Lennon, which makes us wonder if it's going to be about living your life under your father's name.

It's called Yours To Keep, although they may add "or to pass on to the next generation" before they start to sell them on October 9th.

music albert hammond jr the strokes

MADONNA FINDS SOMEONE WHO SAYS NO

She might think that the whole world bends to her will - installing new toilets, buying up all the crystals they can find, putting real ingredients in her crisps. But when it's a battle of wills between Madonna and a health & safety officer, she has to admit she's met her match.

Madonna wanted all the air conditioning switched off in Wembley, because it hurts her vocal chords apparently (presumably, then, she just sits in a big sweaty mess in her hotel).

The local council told her she had to have it on.

The council won:

A Brent Council spokeswoman said that they had a responsibility for "public safety standards" and carried out inspections both before and during the concert.

"Our public safety manager found the venue to be too hot during the performance and asked the arena manager to put on the air conditioning which is used in the building, which he did," a spokeswoman said.

Perhaps if Madonna dressed properly, she wouldn't be so cold. Somebody knit her a sweater.

music madonna

SHE USED TO HATE THE PLACE BEFORE SHE BOUGHT CHUNKS OF IT

Oh, how blessed we are. Madonna thinks of the UK as home, it seems:

"It's so good to be home - which is ironic as I used to fucking hate the place."

We wonder what she likes about Britain. Probably the cooler weather gives her ample excuse to wear gloves.

music madonna

WE'RE A LITTLE CONFUSED

We don't quite understand how The Sun can give its front page over to a campaign against people selling tickets on for a profit, while having pages and pages of tickets for sale on its classified website. Are they, in any way, related?

music

HOMER SIMPSON'S PERFECT WOMAN

What does it for Carnie Wilson, as in Wilson Phillips?

Doughnuts.

You heard:

“I have hallucinations with doughnuts all the time. I’m obsessed. I get horny when I eat doughnuts.”

Watch out for her Krispy Kreme, then.

music wilson phillips carnie wilson

I 'ATE YOU, BRITNEY...

We were thrilled to hear that Bristol Badgerline was offering to take Britney and his kids on a romantic bus journey across the US: like he was planning to do it on the money he makes: a couple of cases, a Greyhound pass and nights trying to not hear the noises coming from the motel room next door.

It turns out, though, that he's got something else in mind: he wants Brit and the babies to join him on an air-conditioned tourbus as he goes from arena to arena doing his rap shows.

Kevin, lad, do yourself a favour and get hold of an Amtrak timetable. You might be able to jump some trucks, if you're lucky.

Plug: Plan your trip, Kev, with Holiday on the Buses

music britney spears kevin federline

KYLIE TAKES ON THE TOUTS

We're impressed that Kylie has taken steps to stop people who want to see her play live being ripped off. She's having the ticket agencies cancel sales to people who appear to be reselling them on eBay, thereby saving fans from paying hundreds for a pair of tickets to her comeback show.

Oddly, though, she didn't seem bothered at the people being ripped off by having to pay £100 plus booking fees for the same tickets. But that's the official price, of course. Once again it seems less like a noble attempt to ensure nobody pays stupid prices, more an attempt to ensure that any profiteering is done by the agencies and artists.

Interestingly, Kylie's gig is being promoted by Harvey Goldsmith, who has a bit of a track record for complaining about eBay touting. He's still fuming:

“eBay are an absolute disgrace. They have no right to be doing what they are doing.

“They are a thorn in the side of this industry. Every time we do a show we have to track eBay down, we have to find the seats and we cancel them. We will continue to do so.”

We will continue to put as much pressure on eBay as we possibly can to get them to see sense.

“It is doing them a disservice, the public a disservice and it is doing the artists a disservice.”

It's interesting to hear Goldsmith getting so red-faced about the idea of things being bought and sold in an open market.

We're still bemused as to how the sale of tickets does a "disservice" to artists, though. They have decided on an (often eye-watering) price for their gig, and they have received this.

Sure, it's unfair on the fans who don't have very much money that they can't afford to go, but it's equally unfair that, say, a teacher living in Liverpool would have to try and find £100 for the official prices, another £100 or so for travel, and another £100 for a hotel in London. That prices just as many people out of the event, surely? Most people can't afford three hundred quid for a nightout, and so it makes little difference if they're unable to afford £900, either.

Of course, if SeeTickets really wanted to do something about stopping touts buying up large blocks of tickets, perhaps they could stop selling tickets in large blocks. For example, Primal Scream tickets in Liverpool? Why not have ten? Fancy going to Cardiff Calling? pick up ten for that, too.

It's all very well getting cross with eBay, but if you're flogging tickets by the bucketload, you're facilitating the very people who you claim to be against. It's like crowbar manufacturers complaining about tool thefts.

music kylie minogue harvey goldsmith ebay

MARIE CLAIRE CALLS SIMPSON ON HYPOCRISY

Back in June, the US edition of Marie Claire ran a feature on Ashlee Simpson as part of an empowering piece on being proud of your body and embracing your image.

Then, of course, she had a nose job.

Now, Marie Claire have run an expanded bunch of letters and a headmasterly dressing down for Simpson:

"She was quoting chapter and verse about how crucial it is to love yourself as you are, etc.," Editor in Chief Joanna Coles wrote. "We're dazed and confused — and disappointed — by her choice too!"

Simpson's response has come from a spokesperson:

"I'm sorry the new editor is using Ashlee to get publicity for her magazine."

Because, of course, using a platform for publicity is bad, of course. Unless, we suppose, you're Ashlee Simpson, who wasn't at all using the original article and the group of teenage girls mak[ing] a mural that celebrated the female figure she appeared with for publicity.

music ashlee simpson

ZUNE MISSES THE ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM

While Microsoft busily retuning its personal hi-fi strategy for the third or fourth time, Apple have taken a leap forward and cut exclusive deals that will see all Mazdas and GM cars sold in the US for 2007, and most Fords, come out of the box with built-in iPod compatability.

That does leave room for Microsoft to get the Zune into back seats of those bendy buses. It's not game over for Redmond just yet...

music apple ipod zune microsoft mazda ford

ROCK SICK LIST: Doug Fieger

Doug Fieger, singer with The Knack, has had emergency brain surgery in the US. The op removed two brain tumours (although there wouldn't have been any point in cutting into his head if they'd been, say spinal tumours) and Fieger is expected to make a full recovery. The Knack have postponed a tour (yes, we were surprised they were still going, too) until Doug's better.

music the knack doug fieger

MACCA SACKER STACKS

The smart money seems to be blaming it on a "desire to sever all links with Heather", but there's no confirmation yet that that's why Paul McCartney has sacked seven of his staff in New York.

Charming, eh? The boss falls out with his wife, and yet you're the one left clipping coupons to try and keep the wolf the door.

Even more charmingly, McCartney has pulled out of an Adopt A Landmine benefit gig because, you know, that's a charity which has got Heather's fingerprints all over it.

music paul mccartney heather mills

LEGACY ISSUES

We learned a long time ago that you criticise Mansun at your own risk - say things like "they weren't quite talented enough to pull off their attempted persona" or "perpetually doomed by their desire to muck about to never rise much beyond the lower divisions, although their minds clearly fixed them as premiership contenders" and youd get a hail of outraged emails. Emails from people who were clearly wrong, but were outraged nevertheless. We don't know what, a decade on, those doughty defenders of Mansun are up to these days, but we imagine many of them would be writing letters to their local freesheet complaining about speed cameras.

Anyway, they might put down their pens for a short period, as Mansun are on the point of releasing the oft-promised best of. It's going to be called Legacy, which is so Mansun. Doggybag might be more apt.

music mansun

THOM YORKE WIPES HIS BLAIR BASH

Following a visit from the secret police at five this morning, when he was taken naked down to the Thames and threatened with "the sort of swimming lesson you don't forget... or remember", Thom Yorke has removed the attack on Blair he'd posted to the official Radiohead site earlier this week.

Actually, we don't think there was any secret police visit. We can't imagine why Yorke has removed the post, though. Spokespeople for the newly-enobled Lord Yorke of Summertown said he was unavailable to provide an explanation as he's busy preparing for his new cabinet post of minister without choruses.

music thom yorke radiohead

JARVIS' MABEL GOES UP FOR SALE

There doesn't seem to be a physical release, so JK and Joel won't yet have to try and struggle with the title on the Top 40 rundown, but Jarvis Cocker's Cunts Are Still Running The World has appeared on iTunes. For your buy-and-play pleasure.

Obviously, the closed down Top of the Pops before they had to face up to this challenge to polite society.

music jarvis cocker

DFA1979 PACK THEIR TRUNKS AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE CIRCUS

Because, in the end, they weren't even talking, Death From Above 1979 have split and reached their sexy results.

They talked enough to agree a farewell statement, written by bass player Jesse F. Keeler:

"I know it's been forever since I wrote anything on here. I'm sure by now most of you assume the band isn't happening anymore since there are no shows, no work on a new album, etc. Well I wanted to let you know that your assumptions are correct. We decided to stop doing the band... actually we decided that almost a year ago.

"We started as a punk band with pop aspirations and we met every goal we set for ourselves. A few weeks ago, the album finally went gold in Canada and that was the final mark I really wanted to reach.

"Over the last 3 years of touring, Sebastien (Grainger) and I had grown apart to such an extent that the only real time we spoke was just before we would play and during interviews. We both changed so much that the people we were by the end of it, probably wouldn't have been friends if they were to meet for the first time again. It's a totally normal function of growing up.""

Plug: What they did while they were growing up: You're a Woman I'm a Machine

music death from above 1979

GENIUSOBIT: Arthur Lee

The founder of Love, Arthur Lee, has died at the age of 61.

Born in Memphis in 1945, Arthur Taylor Porter adopted the "Lee" at roughly the same time as he cut his first single, as leader of Arthur Lee and the LAGS. Musically borrowing heavily from Booker T and the MGs in style, the LA-based act managed just the one 1963 release before falling apart.

In the wake of the LAGS, Lee concentrated on songwriting, writing (amongst other tracks) My Diary for Rosa Lee Brooks. Not only was this the first Lee-penned tune which was a hit, musicologists also believe it to be the first recorded appearance of Jimi Hendrix making an appearance at a recording.

Lee didn't stop performing totally, though, working with The American Four and providing guest vocals an almost-lost album by Ronnie And The Pamona Casuals.

It was the success of the Byrds which gave Lee the confidence to take making music more seriously: he'd been experimenting with writing in a similar folk-rock style to theirs, and he pulled together Love as a band to make use of material whose time, he believed, had come. Although Bobby Beausoleil (a diletante who managed to combine time in Love with being a member of Charles Manson's murderous cult) claims the name of the band was a tribute to his nickname Cupid, the question 'why weren't they called Cupid then' can never be convincingly answered and the accepted story of the band's name is that it was chosen in a poll of fans. We really wish some acts had the guts to do that today - what would Kasabian have been called if they'd left it up to democracy? Prior to the audience show of hands, Love had been the Grass Roots.

The Love line-up of Lee with guitarists Johnny Echols and Bryan MacLean and bassist Ken Forssi (bass) was joined by drummer Michael Stuart after 1966's self-titled debut. 1967 saw DaCapo and then, later in the year, what's considered the masterwork: Forever Changes.

Having reached these heights, Lee then started on a course which would see him labelled as erratic, difficult and - eventually - a bit nuts. He broke up the group, reformed it, stuck out three largely inferior albums - 1969's Four Sail and Out Here, and 1970's False Start. Only False Start registered much in the way of a reaction, although Out Here did manage a creditable top thirty placing in the UK.

Lee then went solo - although the late 1960s versions of Love were pretty much solo projects in all but name. Vindicator, in 1972, didn't bother the charts; 1973's Black Beauty never came under starter's orders, going down with the Buffalo record label.

The seventies saw Lee trying to reignite Love - the original line-up played together a few times, a new version tried another album which is best ignored out of kindness. He then disappeared for much of the 1980s, claiming to be "tired" of all the "bullshit." More pressingly, he had returned home to care for his father, terminally ill with cancer.

Lee's absence from the circuit may explain his mid-90s renaissance: unlike, say, Rod Stewart or Stevie Wonder, he'd never slumped into a single-album-tour routine dedicated to chip away at his reputation through a mixture of over-familiarity and diminshing returns. When the indie-kids of the 1990s rediscovered Love, it was without a carapace of subsequent disappointment to break through.

1992 saw his first album in ages - and his first decent work for twenty years - with Arthur Lee & Love; in 1993 he returned to the stage, including a gig in Liverpool whose promotion was greeted with bemusement at the time - the sudden pasting up of posters advertising an Arthur Lee date in the city seeming as unlikely as suggestions that Elvis was going to grace the steps of the Liverpool Museum. It did seem as if nothing could derail his comeback.

Until he got arrested.

In 1996, Lee had a minor row with a neighbour with a neighbour which would normally have passed off with little more than a spot of ill feeling. Unfortunately, Lee had waved a gun around, which had brought the cops in, and in a state in thrall to the "three strikes and you're out" concept of justice-mockery, Lee's previous two minor convictions saw him get a twelve year stretch.

Again up went the posters, this time calling to "Free Arthur Lee."

He was eventually released after serving five years. After a brief spell finding his feet again, Lee resurrected the Love brand for yet another incarnation, touring a live version of Forever Changes. Diminishing health led to his decision to quit the group last year; the other members still play as The Love Band, although none of them, of course, were part of the original Love who made the album.

Just how sick Lee was became clear in April this year, when friends and fans started to organise benefit gigs to help Arthur pay for his treatment for acute myeloid leukemia. His battle, though, was to be his last, and he died from his illness on August 3rd.

music obit obituary arthur lee love

OBIT: ARTHUR LEE

We've just heard that Arthur Lee has died, in what's turning into a bit of a grim year for maverick musical geniuses. A fuller obit to follow.

PUNK NOW OFFICIALLY "DEADER THAN AT ANY TIME SINCE 1977"

Free, this weekend, with the Mail on Sunday: Your great Stranglers CD.

music the stranglers

IN PURSUIT OF JAMES MORRISON

How to explain James Morrison's stalkers? The 3AM Girls take them as a sign that he's hit the big time, but there are other possibilities:

1. They think he's James Blunt
2. They think he's Jim Morrison
4. They think he's Wm Morrison and are attempting to return a faulty marketplace pie
5. Anyone can get a stalker these days, we blame the internet
6. Cynthia Plastercaster just needs one more for a full set
7. Like Japanese fighters after World War II, there are still Child Support Agency staff out there not knowing the battle is over
8. Fathers for Justice have really scaled back operations
9. There are no stalkers, are there, James, just like there was no voice telling you to eat the last biscuits
10. Anglian Home Improvements are that restless in pursuit of the sale of a new conservatory

music james morrison

CHIPS ON A PLATE

Paul Daniels, of course, has MAG1C. Tarby went with COM1C. Oh yes, there's nothing that says "gaudy celebrity" like having a personalised number plate.

Kerry Katona's bought two.

The Mirror, though, reckons she's got K4T 0NA - which seems unlikely, as they don't issue number plates with letter-number-letter-number-letter-letter; it's more likely she's bought the even more tragic K 47 ONA, which is one of those that are so mangled it's like Combat 18 choosing their name because the first letter of the alphabet is A and the 8th is H and that makes AH, which were Hitler's initials.

Her fiance, even more oddly, is supposed to have got CROFTY, which doesn't seem to be possible to us. Do you use an 8 for the R?

music kerry katona

HOW ONE TREATS THE HIRED HELP

It's not that perpetual tax exiles The Rolling Stones are money-grubbing or anything, but telling your support act they'll have to pay to watch the headline set? That's raising 'careful with money' to a whole new level.

Kasabian are looking at a six hundred quid bill to hang about after their set has finished. It seems once the last note of the theme from ITV World Cup Football dies away, Serge and the boys cease to be rockstars and become punters.

music rolling stones kasabian

ROAD CREW HAVE PARTY

This morning's Sun is delighted to have been given what - were I a cynical man - would like a PR concoction designed to try and repair the general impression that Sandi Thom is a meaningless, well-funded exercise in what good PR can do.

Apparently, she's "living up to her lyrics" and being just like a punk rocker by having a party in a hotel in LA.

Police were called, and at 6am Thom's tour group were thrown out of the hotel.

Now, to us, this seems less like the social and political revolution that Thom was (supposedly) singing about - more a spoiled, selfish brat not giving a shit about the other people in a hotel. It's not so much being punk, more like behaving like a teenager the first time their parents go out of town for the night.

Victoria Newton, though, thinks this whole thing is wonderful:

Pretty impressive showbiz shenanigans I’m sure you’ll agree. Sandi joins an illustrious group of names who have incurred the wrath of posh hotel managers over the years.

Legendary rockers THE WHO and LED ZEPPELIN were the first to earn a reputation for lobbing TV sets out of their bedroom window.

So there you have it: Sandi Thom is now the Jimmy Page of our times.

I cry for our times.

music sandi thom

NO-SHOWS AND 'TELLE FOR PRESTON

The candle of fame is starting to burn low for Chantelle and Preston off the last Big Brother, and the world can barely manage a polite "oh" at the details of their wedding next month.

Apparently some of Chantelle's family are thinking they won't go, as they feel she's "changed" since she became famous.

Which is true - the biggest change since becoming famous, though, is becoming not really famous any more, so nobody should worry.

The wedding day is August 25th. It sounds like there might be some spare chicken dinners.

music preston ordinary boys chantelle

DON'T YOU WISH YOUR SHORTLIST WAS HOT LIKE ME

While Andrew Lloyd Webber struggles to cast a Maria for his forthcoming Sound of Music in BBC1's How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, newly created American network The CW have a similar problem. They're running a competition to find someone to join the Pussycat Dolls. Somehow they've got a programme out of that, which surely is a matter of flicking to the page after the second hand goods section and choosing one of the 'new in town' adverts?

There are already six dolls, apparently, and so the search is looking for one capable of counting the others as they get on and off the tourbus.

The network's head of entertainment, Dawn Ostroff (and it's terrible if Ostroff escapes into the water supply), says its all about empowerment:

"At its core, this show goes beyond just finding a new Pussycat Doll; it's about female empowerment, self-discovery and personal transformation."

There's little more empowering than standing in your pants and bras in a draughty Days Inn hoping to get a call back which will invite you to stand in your bra and pants in an air-conditioned Holiday Inn for programme two. The self-discovery and personal transformation, of course, will be in the hands of the male viewers, although the transformation can be covered with a giant pillow if your Mum walks in on you with a cup of tea shortly after the self-discovery.

music pussycat dolls

LOPEZ WON'T ATTEND THE OIL BARON'S BALL

Nobody yet seems to no why but Jennifer Lopez has quit Southfork and won't now be gracing the pointless Dallas movie as Sue Ellen. We're betting she called for a rewrite: "this bit where it says I'm a drunk, and a whore, and an unfit mother. How about if instead it said 'Sue Ellen, you're a talented internationally-adored artist, a successful businesswoman with her own range of fragrances, and kind to animals and children?' Hmm? Hmm?"

music jennifer lopez dallas

SEND FOR NICKY CAMPBELL

We're not quite sure how this scam works, but apparently someone claiming to be Dave Lee Roth's agent has been getting cash out of clubs.

Why would a club owner want to give money to Dave Lee Roth anyway?

Unless it works as a protection scam: "nice place you've got here... be a pity if something happened to it... like a bad cover of California Girls..."

Seriously, though, a couple of nightclubs in the US have been rolled for thousands. And they don't even get Sammy Hagar for their trouble.

music david lee roth

IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, GET OUT OF THE AUDITORIUM

America is currently sweltering under the sort of heatwave that you'd imagine could only be caused by, say, a nation unilaterally withdrawing from the Kyoto agreement and encouraging people to put air conditioning into the glovebox of their stretch humvees or something.

And even gig-organisers are having to adjust to cope with the heat: if you go to Ozzfest, you might find yourself getting drenched from misters, hosepipes, or the caps on the bottles of piss being heft towards the front of the stage coming free as they fly above your head.

Lollapalooza fans in Chicago are only going to have to cope with temperatures in the 80s, but the 'looza management are running a huge, air-conditioned tent (sponsored by AT&T), in the hope that by burning some extra fossil fuel, they can help raise the temperature for next year's festival by an average of three degrees.

The people behind Austin City Limits have arranged for some extra shaded areas, most provided by tethering Jack White's self-regard to a pole, blocking out the sun's rays over a half-acre area.

Although 40 people who went to the Warped tour date at Fitchburg last week wound up in hospital with heat-related illness, tour head Kevin Lyman points out that the number of people with serious heat problems has dropped massively despite the increased temperatures this year. Partly that's down to the extra cooling stations and precautions, but a shit line-up and consequent tendency of people to stay at home sat in their bathtubs instead has also contributed.

music ozzfest heatwave

ROCKOBIT: Kim McLagan

Kim McLagan, wife of Keith Moon and Ian McLagan of the Faces, has died in a car accident outside Austin, Texas.

Born Patsy Kerrigan she was initially raised on her family's rubber plantation in Malaysia. They returned, first living in Bournemouth and then moving on to London. McLagan was at the heart of London when a combination of coincidences gave the capital the appearance of swinging, and when she started to pick up modelling jobs, she changed her name to Kim to avoid confusion with Patti Boyd.

She met and married Keith Moon in 1966; her modelling career peaked the next year when she appeared in the live TV launch event for The Beatles' All You Need Is Love.

Moon was a far from ideal husband, beating and rowing with his wife throughout their time together. Eventually, Kim walked out on him, taking their daughter, Mandy. They divorced in 1975. Moon overdosed in 1978; in the same year, McLagan made a more successful second marriage to The Face's Ian McLagan.

The pair relocated to the US, first to LA and then to Smithville, Texas. Ian has made himself a role in the Austin music scene while Kim used her beautican talents to develop her own small business.

She is survived by Ian and her daughter Mandy.

music kim mclagan obit obituary

JESSICA SIMPSON TO TRY AND SPOIL OTHER PEOPLE'S MARRIAGES

What persuaded Jessica Simpson to let go of Nick Lachey, her onscreen husband?

Well, MTV not ordering any more series of the Newly Weds, obviously. But that's not a tale you could sell as an Our Tune to Simon Bates, so instead she's decided that playing Patty Griffin's Let Him Fly with Ashlee made her decide to end her fake marriage:

"We laid there listening to the song and just cried and cried
like babies," Jessica recalled. "In a lot of ways, my sister really gave me the strength to pull through this really hard time. And it was just lying there and being with her that got me through it. I knew everything would be OK. The song is about how sometimes you just have to know when to let something go. And that was that moment. And I had to sing it."

[fading up the theme from Rich Man, Poor Man] well... you're looking at your radio and saying "Simes, what happened?" Jessica played that song. She played it a lot and decided, yes, it was time to talk to her business manager about letting Nick go from the payroll. And now she's recorded a version of that song. Of course, sometimes it's still hard. Sometimes she still thinks about Nick - when she gets a cheque from the residuals for Newly Weds and thinks about the other half. When she can't remember if he was in NYSNC or New Edition or that other one. And sometimes she has a little cry, remembering the good times, thinking about the day they first met when she was casting the part of her husband. And then she'll play this song... and she knows she's made the right choice.

And that she can make a few more quid by recording a cover version of it.

music jessica simpson nick lachey

MADONNA UPSETS IL PAPA

Madonna must have been wondering if the cost of that giant crucifix had been worth it (okay, she was making it back in scalp-high ticket prices, but even so...). She'd been rolling onto stage for months and barely had anyone murmured. How could she keep her reputation as the icon of iconoclasm if nobody noticed?

Luckily, you can rely on Rome; The eternal city is getting frothy:

Father Manfredo Leone of Rome's Santa Maria Liberatice church told Reuters that the pop star's latest shock shtick, namely being suspended on a 20-foot mirrored cross while donning a crown of fake thorns, "is disrespectful, in bad taste and provocative."

"Being raised on a cross with a crown of thorns like a modern Christ is absurd," Leone said. "Doing it in the cradle of Christianity comes close to blasphemy."

The cradle of Christianity? Surely that'd be the Holy Land rather than Italy, wouldn't it?

Madonna has managed to get some cross-religious outrage going, too:

"I think her idea is in the worst taste and she'd do better to go home," Mario Scialoja, the head of Italy's Muslim League told the news service.

Riccardo Pacifici, the spokesman of the Roman Jewish community, agreed, telling Reuters that Madonna should pull the offending routine from the Rome show.

The power to bring so many different religions together is one not to be sniffed at - maybe we should Madonna on her big sparkly cross to Beirut to see if she can bring peace there, too.

You have to love the idea that telling Madonna what she's doing is in bad taste is going to put her off - a woman who's been photographed with Vanilla Ice entering her from the tradesman's side is unlikely to be worried about taste, Father.

music madonna

WE'D BE SEATED BOY, GIRL, EGO, EGO, GIRL...

Thank you, Mr. Berners-Lee, for you wonderful internet, without which we'd never have known who would make up Dido's ideal dinner party:

Q. Dido, I would like to ask you something. If you could choose, one famous man around the world to have a nice dinner with, who would you choose and why:
- For a politician
- For an actor
- For an artist
Selina, France
Dido replies: Politician - Bill Clinton but also Hilary because I think she's cool.
Actor - Sean Penn.
Musician - All of U2. They're just incredibly inspiring and fun to be around.

We'd love to see that lot on Come Dine With Me, actually - it'd be a solid two hours of people saying "you're the greatest" while secretly thinking "actually, I'm the greatest, but by pretending I think they're greater, I make myself even greater still..."

music dido

WE'D BE SEATED BOY, GIRL, EGO, EGO, GIRL...

Thank you, Mr. Berners-Lee, for you wonderful internet, without which we'd never have known who would make up Dido's ideal dinner party:

Q. Dido, I would like to ask you something. If you could choose, one famous man around the world to have a nice dinner with, who would you choose and why:
- For a politician
- For an actor
- For an artist
Selina, France
Dido replies: Politician - Bill Clinton but also Hilary because I think she's cool.
Actor - Sean Penn.
Musician - All of U2. They're just incredibly inspiring and fun to be around.

We'd love to see that lot on Come Dine With Me, actually - it'd be a solid two hours of people saying "you're the greatest" while secretly thinking "actually, I'm the greatest, but by pretending I think they're greater, I make myself even greater still..."

music dido

JACKSON CONFUSION

Michael Jackson's financial settlement last April should have been a chance for him to move ahead, with a spring in his step. Unfortunately, he seems to have neglected to pay the company who sorted out the agreement for him, and they're suing him.

And, oops, he's also not paid the lawyers defending him in that case. He claims, rather than not paying them, he's fired them.

Jackson's such a financial basket case Ocean finance could use "being Michael Jackson" as a visual metaphor for debt in its consistently inventive adverts attempting to depict the feeling of being in debt.

Just on a sidematter, we did love the banker who popped up Today this morning [Real audio link] to talk about voluntary agreements to avoid bankruptcy. He moaned that the people who arrange these agreements - which cost the banks a pretty penny - give the impression there should be no stigma involved in coming to an agreement like that, which was wrong. A couple of minutes later, though, he bristled at the suggestion that the banks are partly to blame for high debt levels because they've effectively brought about a situation where there's no shame attached to living beyond your means.

[Thanks to Jim McCabe for the link]

music michael jackson

MARIE: IT WAS ALL A MEDICAL MIX-UP

Marie Osmond hasn't attempted suicide at all, it turns out, and her current spell in hospital is nothing more than a blackout caused by an adverse reaction to some medication she was taking.

That's what her management would have you believe, anyway:

Marie Osmond's manager Karl Engemann said: "We deal with those tabloids all the time. You get tired of responding. It's like punching Jell-O."

To be fair to the tabloids, it's not like they're reporting a mysterious adverse reaction to medication every week. Nevertheless, we enjoy the discovery that there's something more masculine than wrestling in jelly: boxing with jell-o.

It doesn't work as a metaphor, does it? We're pretty certain if you punch jelly it stays punched, and so it's not the neverending task that Engemann is alluding to. Now, filling your knickers with custard - that's a job that could be without an end. Calming down a nest of bees, maybe. But punching jell-o? Clearly a man who's never tried really punching jello.

music marie osmond the osmonds

BRIT AND KEVIN: MEDIA MOGHULS

Britney Spears and Ever Stoodinline are fed up with reading stories trashing them in the public prints, and have come up with an idea to do something about it.

No, not stopping having public bust-ups, dropping children, sending cars back to the store and things like that.

Oh, no: They're going to launch their own magazine to boost their image.

We picture it being something along the lines of the Beckindale Bugle, Amos Brearly's riposte to the Hotten Courier; Britney sat with a green eyeshade punching out stories on a big typewriter while Kevin sniffs the tippex. Hold the front page: "Child bounced when it hit ground; laughed a bit."

But it's not just so Britney can reveal how great their life is when she's not having to organise the car guys to pick up or deliver a car, says Fred:

"It's not just us. Everybody has been lied about in the tabloids.

"Everybody has false truths and false images and false stuff perceived on them. Maybe not as much as me and my wife get. But everybody has it."

"I think a magazine like that, would attract all the stars. I think they would want to go to that magazine and tell the truth!

"I'm not kidding. This is something I want to do for real."

Is the publishing world ready for an editor who uses phrases like "Everybody has false truths and false images and false stuff perceived on them, maybe not as much as me and my wife get"?

We can hardly wait to see him deperceptivising those false truths.

music britney spears kevin federline

NAPSTER SUBSCRIBERS WALK

Tucked away in the Napster results (spun as "reduces cash burn" because they're down to losing just USD100,000 a day) was the news that their subscriber base has shrunk seven percent over the quarter. Apparently there are just 512,000 people signed up for their service at the moment.

music napster

BRUCE HORNSBY'S ENTIRE RANGE

If you like Bruce Hornsby - okay, we know that's a big 'if' - you'll be delighted to hear he's readying a greatest hits box set. It's going to take up five discs, which seems rather a lot of plastic to deliver 'Thats Just The Way It Is', but we expect there's going to be remixes and so on.

It's going by the title Intersections 1985-2005 and comes out in the US of States this week.

music bruce hornsby

RETURN TO HALLAMSHIRE

You might remember, back in the past, a book called What With Being Stone Deaf and Everything which was serialised on the Mark and Lard graveyard shift. Written by David Hallamshire, it offered a satirical guide to rock music from a musician's perspective. And it was very funny.

Naturally, a funny, well-written book had no business being available through bookshops and it fell out of print. Now, we hear via Big Bubbles that Hallamshire has republished the book for himself. Any investment you make in a copy will be repaid a thousandfold.

Please note: quoted investment return of a thousandfold for illustration purposes only. Actualy return on investment may be of a different order.

music books

NICE AND SUNNY

There's definitely a new Datsuns record on the way, and it's getting closer: Smoke and Mirrors is pencilled (but heavily pencilled) in for an October 2nd release.

There's going to be a tour, too:

London Luminaire -September 1-
Leicester Charlotte -7-
York Barfly -8-
Middlesbrough Empire -9-
Aberdeen Moshulu -10-
Leeds Cockpit -11-
Cardiff Barfly -13-
Reading Fez Club -14-
Brighton Concorde -15-
Isle Of Man Villa Marina -28-
Let's Rock Edinburgh Festival -30-

The Isle of Man Villa Marina?

music the datsuns

INDIEOBIT: Tony Ogden

As we reported earlier, the death has been announced of Tony Ogden, singer-drummer with World of Twist.

Ogden was born in Stockport and formed World of Twist with Gordon King in 1985. Although bearing little more than the odd bassline in common with the Madchester and baggy bands, they were lumped in to that scene for geographical reasons. As with Instastella, attempts to market a more intelligent and eclectic approach to dance music alongside the more simplistic approach of having Bez onstage flopped somewhat. Although songs like Sons of the Stage were superior to anything Blur had to offer at the time, the Twist were never able to follow their Colchester colleagues in throwing of the curse of baggy, and after one album - Quality Street - the band effectively came apart.

King headed off to start up Earl Brutus; Ogden pushed ahead with a new World of Twist in ever more frustating conditions. Ogden set about creating an album which, mythology would relate, rivalled the Beach Boys' Smile album in terms of reach, inspiration and success. His label, however, didn't share the vision and Circa (then part of Richard Branson's fiefdom) stopped underwriting the costs and set him free with a demo tape.

The tape wound up in the hands of Alan McGee, who planned to sign the band to Creation but never quite managed it. Ogden slowly became disillusioned, and started to give up making music, as Twisted Nerve's Gary Clarke, a friend of Ogden, told the Poptones website last year:

“The truth is that in the very end (after the demos) he stopped making music because he had a nervous breakdown and became a recluse and stopped seeing anyone - and still doesn’t. he’ll speak to me on the phone quite a bit. but he’s very cagey about meeting anyone.”

Ogden had started to make music again - he was reported to be working on demos for the Bubblegum Sceret Pop Explosion before he died.

World of Twist left an impressive underground reputation - I swear I saw a grown man gurgle with delight when he discovered a mint Sons of the Stage in a second hand shop.

The cause of his death has not yet been announced; he was 44 years old.

music world of twist obit obituary tony ogden

INDIEOBIT: Tony Ogden

We've just heard of the death of Tony Ogden, from World of Twist.

We'll have a more full obituary later in the day.

LILY ALLEN... REMEMBER HER?

Lily Allen doesn't like anyone much, it seems.

Victoria Newton is so outraged that Allen dares speak against Madonna, she puts it into two articles in today's Bizarre:

When asked who was the most overrated person in pop history, the Smile singer said: "Madonna. I haven't got anything against her at all but I don't think anything she's done since the early Eighties has really been, like, ‘wow'.

"She might have meant something once but I don't know many people my age who care."

Not that that's going to bother Madge; she's only interested in fans old enough to get a second mortgage to be able to afford the ticket prices.

Babyshambles?

I do think he has to be exterminated. It is a bit dull, isn't it? I've always been surrounded by smackheads anyway. It's like ‘get over it'.''

This, surely, is a new form of cultural one-upmanship. It's no longer enough to hear a band and say 'oh, Chuggerboots have finally got a single out, have they? I had this on a demotape I picked up when I saw them as third support at the Stowmarket Scout Hall a couple of years ago. That scene's so old, I'm mainly listening to grabby-dub and beesting country right now.' Instead, you have to affect boredom at their addictions: 'Skag? Blimey, I didn't know you could still get that, me and my mates were shitting in our own hats and robbing blind pensioners back before the millennium dome opened...'

However, Lily's not above generating a spot of passe-eye-rolling herself:

"When I was 15 I kissed a 35-year-old stripper called Cheryl, at Space in Ibiza," she said.

"She had a necklace saying she'd won the Stringfellows Stripper of the Year contest and she was kind of showing it off. It was a proper snog.''

Good lord, love, if you really must try and spark some interest with "ooh, I once was almost the tiniest bit bisexual", come up with something a bit more recent than a slight drunken encounter the other side of this century.

music lily allen madonna pete doherty

AND WE THOUGHT NOBODY COULD PICK DUNCAN BLUE OUT OF A CROWD

It's bad enough that you have to pay through the nose to see Madonna - it seems that you also have to be enthusiastic, or you'll get a tongue lashing.

She picked on Duncan from Blue for not dancing during the Wembley gig. Not because he was Duncan from Blue - as far as Madonna knew, he could have just been any okay-looking guy without any noticeable ability to keep to a rhythm. (Come to think of it, that could have been the advert used to recruit members for Blue.)

music madonna duncan james blue

JAMES MORRISON FAILED MUSIC

This morning's Sun has a bit of fun at the expense of James Morrison, having discovered that he got an ungraded mark in his music A-level. That makes him, they say, a bit of a duffer:

He failed his A-Level music exams in spectacular fashion, getting a shameful U for UNGRADED.

In other words, the UK’s hottest new pop act was so terrible at music he couldn’t even manage to scrape a lowly E grade.

To be honest, if your readers are so stupid they need to have it explained to them that an "ungraded" is worse than an "E", they're probably not in a place to be laughing at anyone else for being thick.

Mind you, his poor preparation for music exams might shine some light on how young Jim is floating about under a name that's already been used by a popstar.

music james morrison

IT'S A FAIR QUESTION

Paris Hilton is, surprisingly, one of our foremost political philosophers. Having seen how Blair has allowed himself to become little more than a cypher agreeing automatically with George Bush and bending in the winds of Murdochian and Mail outrage, Paris posed the important question "who is Tony Blair?", hinting at a lack of self-identity and certainty to his policies and, beyond, to his very character.

Oh, hang on... we've misread that. She just doesn't know who he is, like, in a traditional way.

She has, however, heard of Princess Diana:

“I loved her. Her death affected me so much.

“I cried for two hours non-stop when I heard she had been killed.”

Admittedly, it was only six weeks ago she found out, and she thought Diana was a supermodel, but you can't take away the grief, can you?

music paris hilton tony blair

NAPSTER: STILL LOSING

Worrying news for Kazaa from the markets today: Napster, the company whose transformation from popular illegal service to unloved legal group, continues to lose money.

Losses for the first quarter of 2006 were USD9.8m - although this was half of the loss in the same period last year, it still represents a sizeable hole in the Napster cash bucket. They'd taken in USD28.1million in pursuit of the ten million loss.

music napster

THE WHISKY PRIESTS OF COOL

We always have trouble understanding the whole "guilty pleasures" concept - if a song fills you ears with joy and makes you smile, why would you want to keep quiet about it? It's a bit like sex: if you're ashamed doing it, you're probably not really liking what you're doing. And if you enjoy it, you shouldn't feel guilty.

So there's something a little bullying about the guilty pleasures chart in Q, which requires you to accept that there's something wrong about liking ELO or any of the other top ten:

1. ELO - Livin' Thing
2. Boston - More Than A Feeling
3. S Club 7 - Don't Stop Movin'
4. 10cc - I'm Not In Love
5. Gary Glitter - Rock'n'Roll Part 2
6. Foreigner - Cold As Ice
7. Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
8. Status Quo - Whatever You Want
9. Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
10. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

Okay, the presence of Gary Glitter is a reminder that, at least when it comes to sex, there are some things you should feel guilty about. But if you like Boston, just because it's inexplicable to anyone with ears, there's no reason you should feel bad about yourself.

The whole exercise raises the question: if you're feeling guilty, in what court do you think you'll be convicted? And if they tell you what you like is wrong, why do you accept their authority? And if you do feel guilty for liking things this court of opinion have ruled beyond acceptable, should you also feel guilty for not liking the things they laud.

If you can't be certain of your own taste, can you be certain of who you are? Sarah Sands might be nuts for loving James Blunt, but you'd have to take sides with a person who knows their own mind over somebody who thinks that liking boogalooing round their room to S Club 7 is the sort of thing that one must keep from their own children.

music

SANDS CRIES FOR BLUNT

Since she was dumped from the editor's chair at the Sunday Telegraph after about four hours in charge, time has obviously been weighing heavily on Sarah Sands' hands. Once worrying about front page splashes and rearranging the political team, now she's reduced to writing pieces in defeence of James Blunt for the Daily Mail:

He writes songs you can actually sing, doesn't do drugs and has fought for his country. So why am I the only person who doesn't hate James Blunt?

It's a bizarre question, especially as Sands then points out that You're Beautiful was "played in every car and cafè and on every beach in Europe", chosen by Elton John and David Furnish for their wedding, spent thirty weeks in the charts, and helped Blunt to win Q and Novello awards. Yeah, that's a whole city of hatred you're standing against there, Sands. Next week, you can perhaps try going out on a limb to stand up for Wayne Rooney.

Sands is annoyed that Blunt did so well in that poll to find out what irritated people - she can't understand why he irritates more people than diarrhoea. But although diarrhoea is unpleasant, it passes quickly and you don't get it pumping out of the speakers in every shop you go into. Unless you're especially unlucky.

To be fair to Sands, the penny does seem to drop halfway through why so many people who love music have a problem with Blunt:

Perhaps Blunt's problem is that he is undeniably mainstream. I saw him perform at Shepherd's Bush and the evening appeared to attract an even more solidly middleclass audience than the last night of the Proms.

Exactly. The fact that Sands is even interested enough to churn out a page in defence of him sums up exactly why Blunt is an irritant: his constituency is precisely the sort of person who doesn't really like music, who complains if you can't hear all the words (and really moans if they don't make sense straight away when you do), and who thinks it's so much the better if the singer has "risked his life for his country". Blunt isn't just mainstream, he's Coldstream:

If James Blunt had been promoted as a kind of General Sir Mike Jackson with songs, I don't believe that he would be so unpopular with British men, who see him as too wet and weedy for their taste.

Good lord; we knew she was poor at editing newspapers, but compared to her marketing skills she's Citizen Kane: she thinks Blunt's white-bread-no-crust music should have been marketed as coming from some sort of acoustic Andy McNabb?

Of course, Sands blames the interweb for Blunt's unpopularity:

Self-appointed style tsars (ie the web chatboards that now control whether a pop star is officially 'cool' or not) claim that Blunt's songs are irritating, derivative and simplistic.

"Oh my God!" writes one contributor to the Coolteens website, "James Blunt is so annoying he makes me want to rip my eyeballs out just to have something to plug my ears with." Nice.

Another critic laments: "Once you scratch beneath the surface of his songs, there doesn't seem to be anything there."

These are pop songs, for goodness sake - what do you want to find underneath them? The Gettysburg Address?

Emotion. Ideas. A sense of wonder. A three-minute retelling of a rollercoaster romance. A political allegory. Something, Sarah, anything. Only someone who believes that pop can do nothing more than be a vaguely pleasant noise could find anything of value in Blunt.

Now that everyone officially hates James Blunt, wouldn't it be cool to decide to love him again?

Sarah, now that the woman who launched the mumsy Stella magazine officially loves Blunt, we doubt if even he could bring himself to like himself ever again.

music james blunt

DO YOU LOVE ANYONE ENOUGH TO GIVE THEM THE LAST ROLO?

We can't even feel surprised at the comebacks that flop out across our eye-holes these days, but - heh - it's such a good thing that The Woodentops are playing live (and their MySpace has some uploaded tracks for you to download.

No, no, it was a different Rolo whose sister turned into Dido.

It's a London gig, at the 100 Club, on September 13th with, we're led to believe The Jazz Butcher also playing. Blimey.

Can't be long before Red Lorry Yellow Lorry come out of retirement.
Plug: 2001's redoubling of Giant is still available

music woodentops

FOR THE WANT OF A SUGARCUBE, THE AXL WAS LOST

So, what was it that led to Axl Rose being substituted for Sebastian Bach mid-gig, then?

Low blood pressure and low blood sugar, apparently.

That's a bit of a lame reason, surely? Even kidney stones might have had a bit more dignity to them than that.

music guns n roses axl rose

HILARY DUFF GIVES IT UP FOR THE SOLDIERS

Doing her bit to keep up the morale of military families while their loved ones are being sent to die in roadside attacks in situations which aren't in any way like Vietnam, Hilary Duff is playing free gigs.

We're not sure quite how one's morale is meant to be lifted by having Duff sing for you - if she wants to cheer up soldiers we're sure they can think of one or two ways she could really help out.

music hilary duff

STAR WAILS

You'll remember our old friends at Power 105, the New York radio station which had to part ways with DJ Star. Star had attacked a rival on air, including offering $500 dollars for details about where their kid went to school, promising to piss on the five year-old and hinting at plans to sexually assault the child.

Star is issuing a lawsuit against John Liu, a New York councillor:

The suit, filed today (Aug. 2) by attorney James Cinque, accuses City Councilman John Liu (D-Queens) of launching a malicious crusade against Star that led to his firing and arrest.

Yes, of course. It was Liu's calling Star on his allegedly racist attacks against DJ Envy which got him sacked, rather than the unpleasant and unacceptable broadcasts. Or the threat to piss on a child. Star says he has to "settle scores", although learning when to shut up might be a better use of his time.

music radio

NEVER MIND THE BALLOCHS

With Glastonbury set to return next year, and a festival calendar already straining at the sides, you might think the last thing anyone would want to do is add another festival into the mix.

Or, of course, you might think that they're popular, let's make some more. So it is that Ballock Castle on the banks of Loch Lomond is launching a rival to T in the Park from next August.

We can probably safely blame Oasis for this one: ten years ago they held a mini-fest there with Cast, Ocean Colour Scene and - oh, the irony - the Bootleg Beatles, which is probably being used as the model for the new festival. Only they might try and find some bands which don't all sound the same.

music festivals

FANOBIT: Korn fan dies

Andy Richardson, who was allegedly attacked during a Korn gig at the weekend has died of his injuries.

Richardson had apparently asked two men to take care not to bump into his pregnant partner or child at the Atlanta gig; he was then set about:

According to his friend Edgar Arellano, the men left the area before they returned and assaulted Richardson.

Arellano added: "We were all enjoying the concert, we were having a good time, until these two guys came around. He was unconscious. He had blood all over his face when I picked him up."

Korn have kept very quiet about the attack.

music obit obituary korn

YORKE CALLS OUT BLAIR

It's like the 1980s again, only with Thom Yorke instead of the Beat and 'return a vote of no confidence in Tony' in place of Stand Down Margaret. But let's not quibble with the pop and politics reuniting as Thom Yorke calls for Blair to do something:

"I've had enough of this", he said. "Our government sitting on the fence with the US while World War 3 appears to be breaking out in Lebanon and Northern Israel."

Yorke continued: "We must throw Tony Blair out of office NOW. He does not represent the views of British people. He does not represent the views of his foreign office and officials. He does not even represent the views of those in his cabinet. He cares too much about his relationship with Bush and Murdoch. This man is not fit to be our Prime Minister."

There is a slight flaw in Yorke's analysis, of course: Blair has specifically put Madge Beckett into the Foreign Office with the aim of stopping the department having views altogether.

its a nice sunny day. come on lets do it. you know it makes sense.

a vote of no confidence. or something. anything.

There's something pleasing about the idea that we should have a revolution because it's sunny. Almost as surprising as it is that Thom likes the sunshine - we'd have had him pegged as a autumnal man.

music thom yorke radiohead

MODE WIPE TEL AVIV FROM THEIR TOUR MAP

Despite having maintained that the gig would go ahead, the continued attacks by Hezbollah on Israeli civilian targets and Israel's punishment-beating of a foreign policy have lead Depeche Mode to pull their planned Tel Aviv date.

40,000 tickets had been sold for the gig, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the Israeli fan's response has been disprorportinate:

(Sharon T. from Bat Yam) "The band has made a very easy choice, they can sit nicely in a plane, do a concert here and then fly back. We get tons of dynamite flown over to us from Hezbollah and still we continue our lives. Who is taking the biggest risk here?", (Eben Y. from Petah Tiqwa) "All I can say is that this is disgusting. An insult to us. They earn tons of money on our backs and still can't find the effort to support us, they better play in Iran then...".

It's interesting that these (possibly atypical) responses collected by Side-Line suggest that if the band played Tel Aviv, they'd be "supporting" something (the killing of civilians in Lebanon?) and that because they've sold their records in Israel they're contractually obliged to go and stand with them as their leaders provoke the further raining down of missiles.

music depeche mode

OH, SO THIS IS WHAT THE FUTURE IS LIKE

We're not sure that a place can be simultaneously "a utopian nation" and run by Audioslave and its fans, but in a bid to push interest in their new album, Audioslave have invented an island. There's a Google World hook-up and everything which will allow you to look at the idyll of grumble-grunge from the sky and everything.

It's a pity the album's going to be terrible, isn't it?

music google earth audioslave

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

Kasabian are spoiling for a fight - Serge thinks pop is better when there are battles:

"Back in the 1960s bands used to take the piss out of each other constantly. Keith Richards and Pete Townshend were always slagging things off, trying to outdo each other and make better albums.”

Is this the same Kasabian who were sobbing at the weekend because people thought they were rowing with the Kaiser Chiefs?:

"It's horrible when stories are blown out of proportion. Ricky will know those quotes are rubbish. People just want to create a feud that doesn't exist."

But Serge, surely it'd mean you'd both make better albums, right?

Apparently Kasabian only want to rumble with people they don't ever meet - they could get a blog for that, you know. People like Franz Ferdinand:

“I can’t imagine Alex gives a shit about his band in the way I give a shit about my band. I don’t see the passion – it’s just fashion and trying to have hit singles. If I walked up to him in a boozer and said Franz Ferdinand are shit, he’d probably agree.”

If a knuckle-scraping troglodyte came up to me in a bar and suggested that my mother serviced the male hell demons with oral pleasure, I suspect I'd agree with them. Nevertheless, let's just be delighted that Kasabian are all about the passion - the passion, for example, you get when you bank a cheque for knocking out a pisspoor Bowie cover in about five minutes to be used as a football TV theme. You can't put a price on quality, but oh boy, did ITV put a price on mediocrity with that one.

music kasabian franz ferdinand kaiser chiefs

BLAIR GOES TO THE DOGG'S

Now, how's this for a mixed message? Tony Blair, with his one nation Tory calls for respect and belief in slinging ASBOs about to keep the unruly poor in line, sitting down for a drink and some canapes with Snoop Dogg.

The same Snoop who was cautioned under Section 4 of the Public Order Act three months ago after a burst of fracas at Heathrow?

Presumably there was some pressing reason of state that Blair had to break bread with such a questionable role model for the young peoples?

Oh, yes: it was a party in Los Angeles thrown by Adidas to mark their new shirt deal with Chelsea. You can see how Blair couldn't have not gone to that jolly, can't you? And if you're happy to go to a promo thrown by company so sketchy on worker's rights, why not go the whole hog and shake the hand of someone who, had he been poor and black rather than rich and famous, would probably have been dragged in front of the courts as an example?

music tony blair snoop dogg

CHEERS, MICK

Naturally, since Murdoch does all he can to pay as little tax as possible on his corporate earnings, The Sun is full of admiration at the discovery that the Rolling Stones have paid just £4million tax - mostly to the Netherlands. In effect, that's about £97million that could have been spent repaying the UK for the education and healthcare the Stones received when they were growing up, or helping with the costs of care and support for contemporaries of Mick's mother, Eva - the ones who couldn't afford to end their days in the relative comfort of Parkside private hospital (a hospital staffed, nevertheless, by doctors largely trained out of the public coffers which Jagger and his friends go to such great lengths to avoid contributing to.)

music rolling stones mick jagger

MCCARTNEY FRONTLINE

On Monday, The Sun told its readers that Heather Mills was dragging her feet because that, somehow, would ensure she got to keep her title of Lady McCartney. It didn't make any sense, but they seemed really certain of their facts.

Today, The Sun tells its readers that Heather Mills is going to drop the name and title as soon as she can. They seem really certain of their facts.

music paul mccartney heather mills divorce

MEAT LOAF WON'T DO THAT, FOR LOVE

Not only has Meat Loaf dropped his legal action against Jim Steinman, but he's been virtually Victorian in his praise for his former partner:

The dispute "resolved itself very quickly because neither one of us wanted to argue", he told Reuters.

"If it was not for Jim Steinman and his brilliance and his ability to turn a phrase and his concepts, we wouldn't be here tonight," Meat Loaf said at the New York launch of the third album in the [Bat Out of Hell] trilogy.

"He really liked the record - that's really important to me."

The battle had been over who had the right to the phrase "bat out of hell"; it turns out Geri Halliwell had the strongest moral right.

music meat loaf jim steinman

I WANT MY MTV XXV

Could there be anything more glorious than a silver jubilee? Especially when you're MTV, and the multichannel music video world your birth created has brought down Top of the Pops.

But the celebrations of the birthday have really shown up just what a stodgy old part of the music establishment MTV has become. Take, for example, its 25 most influential artists.

Bono comes out top. But on what basis? If the prize is for injecting an off-the-shelf glance at social consciences into the saleability of some humdrum music, surely Bono is merely a Geldof clone? If the award is for wearing stupid sunglasses after dark, then Bono is merely acting under the influence of Roy Orbison. And if the prize is for musical influence, who with a straight face can say that U2's music has been the soundtrack which has most inspired the musical landscape of the past quarter-century?

Pete Doherty makes the list - which could be sustainable, if the small London-centric scene the Libertines trailed in their wake is treated as historically significant. But if London scene needs recognition, then why not have Dickon Edwards there for the equally compact shudder of Romo. Or someone from These Animal Men?

More to the point, where are the figures from Madchester or Britpop? There's room for Justin Timberlake - who has barely released any music, never mind influenced anyone (slash fiction writers aside) - but no spot for even a Gallagher brother?

And then there's the Top 25 video rule breakers. The top ten is enough to make a grown man sob:

1. Madonna, Like a Prayer
2. Britney Spears, Baby One More Time
3. Michael Jackson, Thriller
4. Madonna, Ray of Light
5. Madonna, Vogue
6. Michael and Janet Jackson, Scream
7. Robbie Williams, Rock DJ
8. Eric Prydz, Call on Me
9. Jamiroquai, Virtual Insanity
10. Spice Girls, Wannabe

Like A Prayer is a good call - it did manage to get Maddy dropped by Pepsi; likewise, Thriller was key. But Call On Me didn't break any rules, unless we'd missed a meeting where it was decided that tits and ass didn't sell. And Ray of Light was a bog standard pop video however great the song was. Virtual Insanity and Wannabe barely even count as memorable - the Jamiroquai one particularly was so humdrum it could be sent into space to represent the default setting for promo clips.

Meanwhile, the half-decent VH2 channel has followed its balding-indie-kid market comrade the Amp into history to make room for MTV Flux, which is an apparently exciting opportunity for viewers to shape what appears on screen via the website. Like the way MTV2 used to be before they gave that one up as a bad job.

music mtv vh2

THE PRICE OF EVERYTHING

At first, when we saw this morning's 3AM girl mini-rant against the high price of Madonna tickets, we were puzzled:

Yet ludicrously, one brown-nosing, out-of-touch, clearly overpaid pop columnist yesterday claimed tickets were "worth every penny" and a "bargain" at £7.14 a song.

We thought they were having a pop at Caroline Sullivan in the Guardian, but her words were "the result justifies the price tag." She's never going to get to edit the consumer pages, is she?

But the real target, of course, was The Sun and Victoria Newton, who was a little bit over the top in her delight at praising the ticket price she hadn't had to pay.

Actually, she was just over the top:

Madonna leapt about the stage like a wild animal who had been caged for 30 years. It’s hard to believe she’s 47.

An animal caged for thirty years would presumably have trouble walking, surely?

It does seem, to judge by Sullivan's report, that claims that she's ripping her fans off have stung Madge:

To counter internet chatroom grumbles about ticket prices, she has released a factsheet listing what goes into the show, which in the way of all major pop tours today is one part singing to three parts special effects. It reveals what it takes to make Madonna Madonna, from the 4,000 Swarovski crystals embedded in her belt to the 350 people needed to build the stage.

Except, of course, as the TOTP clip reminded us this weekend, what made Madonna Madonna wasn't showy cash-burning but a low-budget bounce. She used to be a compelling performer - the original good wine which needed no bushell - but now she can't queue at the Post Office without a team of choreographers and a small fountain to help her out.

If you find yourself photocopying justifications of your ticket price, you're really admitting you've lost the argument.

music madonna

P!ATD AND RHCP LEAD MTV VMAS

They're the music awards that are slightly more important than the Smash Hits Awards and only a little bit less glitzy than the Brits. They're the US MTV Video Music Awards, and the nominations are out:


VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Christina Aguilera
"Ain't No Other Man"
Back To Basics
RCA
Director: Bryan Barber
Producer: William Green
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea

Madonna
"Hung Up"
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Johan Renck
Producer: Lene Bausager and John Winter
Production Company: RSA Films

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory

Panic! At The Disco
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
decaydance/Fueled By Ramen
Director: Shane C. Drake
Producer: Brandon Bonfiglio
Production Company: Red Van Pictures


BEST MALE VIDEO
Busta Rhymes featuring Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd
Banks, Papoose & DMX
"Touch It (Remix)"
The Big Bang
Aftermath/Interscope Records
Director: Benny Boom and Busta Rhymes
Producer: Joyce Washington
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Nick Lachey
"What's Left Of Me"
What's Left Of Me
Jive Records/Zomba Label Group
Director: Ray Kay
Producer: Clark Jackson
Production Company: Rockhard Films

James Blunt
"You're Beautiful"
Back To Bedlam
Custard Records/Atlantic Records
Director: Sam Brown
Producer: Kat Armour-Brow
Production Company: Flynn Productions

T.I.
"What You Know"
KING (The Album), ATL (The Movie)
Grand Hustle/Atlantic Records
Director: Chris Robinson
Producer: Melissa Larsen
Production Company: HSI Productions

Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
"Gold Digger"
Late Registration
Roc-A-Fella Records
Director: Hype Williams
Producer: Hype Williams
Production Company: Naaila Entertainment


BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Christina Aguilera
"Ain't No Other Man"
Back To Basics
RCA
Director: Bryan Barber
Producer: William Green
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
"Promiscuous"
Loose
Mosley Music/Geffen Records
Producer: Ron Mohrhoff
Production Company: HSI Productions

Kelly Clarkson
"Because of You"
Breakaway
RCA
Director: Vadim Perelman
Producer: Rhonda Vernet
Production Company: Tate USA

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory

Madonna
"Hung Up"
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Johan Renck
Producer: Lene Bausager and John Winter
Production Company: RSA Films

BEST GROUP VIDEO
All-American Rejects (The)
"Move Along"
Move Along
Interscope Records/Doghouse Records
Director: Marc Webb
Producer: Marcienne Friesland
Production Company: DNA

Panic! At The Disco
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
decaydance/Fueled By Ramen
Director: Shane C. Drake
Producer: Brandon Bonfiglio
Production Company: Red Van Pictures

Fall Out Boy
"Dance, Dance"
From Under The Cork Tree
Island Records
Director: Alan Ferguson
Producer: Valerie Romer
Production Company: Anonymous Content

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea

Gnarls Barkley
"Crazy"
St. Elsewhere
Downtown/Atlantic Records
Director: Robert Hales
Producer: Coleen Haynes
Production Company: HSI Productions

BEST RAP VIDEO
50 Cent
"Window Shopper"
From "Get Rich Or Die Tryin'" The Motion Picture
G-Unit/Interscope Records
Director: Benny Boom
Producer: Adam Witaker
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

T.I.
"What You Know"
KING (The Album), ATL (The Movie)
Grand Hustle/Atlantic Records
Director: Chris Robinson
Producer: Melissa Larsen
Production Company: HSI Productions

Busta Rhymes featuring Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd
Banks, Papoose & DMX
"Touch It (Remix)"
The Big Bang
Aftermath/Interscope Records
Director: Benny Boom and Busta Rhymes
Producer: Joyce Washington
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Yung Joc featuring Nitty
"It's Goin' Down"
New Joc City
Block Ent./Bad Boy South
Director: Lenny Bass
Producer: Helen Urriola
Production Company: DNA

Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone
"Ridin'"
The Sound of Revenge
Chamillitary/Universal Music
Director: Life Garland
Producer: Hagai Shaham
Production Company: Lotus Filmworks, Inc./Terrero Films

BEST R&B VIDEO
Beyonce featuring Slim Thug & Bun B
"Check On It (Pink Panther)"
Destiny's Child #1's
Music World/Sony Urban/Columbia
Director: Hype Williams
Producer: Matthew Stillman
Production Company: Stillking Productions

Mariah Carey
"Shake It Off"
The Emancipation of Mimi
Island Def Jam Music Group
Director: Jake Nava
Producer: Ron Mohrhoff
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Chris Brown
"Yo (Excuse Me Miss)"
Chris Brown
Jive Records/Zomba Label Group
Director: E. White/Chris Brown
Producer: Roger Ubina
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Mary J. Blige
"Be Without You"
The Breakthrough
Matriarch/Geffen Records
Director: Matthew Rolston
Producer: Nina Grossman
Production Company: HSI Productions

Jamie Foxx featuring Ludacris
"Unpredictable"
Unpredictable
J Records
Director: Hype Williams
Producer: Matthew Stillman
Production Company: Stillking Films

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO
Black Eyed Peas (The)
"My Humps"
Monkey Business
A&M Records
Director: Fatima Robinson and Malik Sayeed
Producer: Tony McGarry
Production Company: Black Dog at RSA Films

Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
"Gold Digger"
Late Registration
Roc-A-Fella Records
Director: Hype Williams
Producer: Hype Williams
Production Company: Naaila Entertainment

Common
"Testify"
BE
G.O.O.D./Geffen Records
Director: Anthony Mandler
Producer: Lou Miguel
Production Company: Box Fresh Pictures

Three 6 Mafia
"Stay Fly"
Most Known Unknown
Hypnotize Mind/Sony Urban/Columbia
Director: Bernard Gourley
Producer: Jeff Brown
Production Company: Immigrant Film

Daddy Yankee
"Rompe"
Barrio Fino En Directo
El Cartel Records/Interscope Records/HHH
Director: Jessy Terrero and Carlos Perez
Producer: Meredith Welsch
Production Company: Lotus Filmworks, Inc./Terrero Films

BEST DANCE VIDEO
Madonna
"Hung Up"
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Johan Renck
Producer: Lene Bausager and John Winter
Production Company: RSA Films

Sean Paul
"Temperature"
The Trinity
VP Records/Atlantic Records
Director: X
Producer: Craig Fleming
Production Company: HSI Productions

Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
"Promiscuous"
Loose
Mosley Music/Geffen Records
Producer: Ron Mohrhoff
Production Company: HSI Productions

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory

Pussycat Dolls featuring Snoop Dogg
"Buttons"
PCD
A&M Records
Director: Francis Lawrence
Producer: Lynn Zekanis
Production Company: DNA

BEST ROCK VIDEO
30 Seconds To Mars
"The Kill"
A Beautiful Lie
Virgin Records America
Director: Bartholomew Cubbins
Producer: Alexander Moon and Douglas Friedman
Production Company: A Common Thread, Inc.

Panic! At The Disco
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
decaydance/Fueled By Ramen
Director: Shane C. Drake
Producer: Brandon Bonfiglio
Production Company: Red Van Pictures

A.F.I.
"Miss Murder"
Decemberunderground
Interscope Records
Director: Marc Webb
Producer: Marcienne Friesland
Production Company: DNA

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea

Green Day
"Wake Me Up When September Ends"
American Idiot
Reprise Records
Director: Samuel Bayer
Producer: Tim Lynch
Production Company: RSA Films

BEST POP VIDEO
Christina Aguilera
"Ain't No Other Man"
Back To Basics
RCA
Director: Bryan Barber
Producer: William Green
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Pink
"Stupid Girls"
I'm Not Dead
LaFace/Zomba Label Group
Director: Dave Meyers
Producer: Joseph Sassone
Production Company: Radical Music

Madonna
"Hung Up"
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Johan Renck
Producer: Lene Bausager and John Winter
Production Company: RSA Films

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory

Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
"Promiscuous"
Loose
Mosley Music/Geffen Records
Producer: Ron Mohrhoff
Production Company: HSI Productions

BEST NEW ARTIST IN A VIDEO
Angels And Airwaves
"The Adventure"
We Don't Need To Whisper
Suretone/Geffen Records
Director: The Malloys
Producer: Dave Robertson
Production Company: Black Dog at RSA Films

James Blunt
"You're Beautiful"
Back To Bedlam
Custard Records/Atlantic Records
Director: Sam Brown
Producer: Kat Armour-Brow
Production Company: Flynn Productions

Avenged Sevenfold
"Bat Country"
City Of Evil
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Marc Klasfeld
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Rockhard Films

Panic! At The Disco
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
decaydance/Fueled By Ramen
Director: Shane C. Drake
Producer: Brandon Bonfiglio
Production Company: Red Van Pictures

Chris Brown featuring Juelz Santana
"Run It"
Chris Brown
Jive Records/Zomba Label Group
Director: E. White
Producer: Roger Ubina
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Rihanna
"S.O.S."
A Girl Like Me
Def Jam/SRP
Director: Chris Applebaum
Producer: John Hardin
Production Company: Reactor Films

VIEWER'S CHOICE
Chris Brown featuring Juelz Santana
"Run It"
Chris Brown
Jive Records/Zomba Label Group
Director: E. White
Producer: Roger Ubina
Production Company: F.M. Rocks

Rihanna
"S.O.S."
A Girl Like Me
Def Jam/SRP
Director: Chris Applebaum
Producer: John Hardin
Production Company: Reactor Films

Fall Out Boy
"Dance, Dance"
From Under The Cork Tree
Island Records
Director: Alan Ferguson
Producer: Valerie Romer
Production Company: Anonymous Content

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory

Kelly Clarkson
"Because of You"
Breakaway
RCA
Director: Vadim Perelman
Producer: Rhonda Vernet
Production Company: Tate USA

PROFESSIONAL CATEGORIES

BEST DIRECTION IN A VIDEO
10 Years
"Wasteland" Version 2
Autumn Effect
Republic/Universal Records
Director: Kevin Kerslake
Producer: Dave Robertson
Production Company: Merge @ Crossroads Films

Gnarls Barkley
"Crazy"
St. Elsewhere
Downtown/Atlantic Records
Director: Robert Hales
Producer: Coleen Haynes
Production Company: HSI Productions

A.F.I.
"Miss Murder"
Decemberunderground
Interscope Records
Director: Marc Webb
Producer: Marcienne Friesland
Production Company: DNA

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea

Common
"Testify"
BE
G.O.O.D./Geffen Records
Director: Anthony Mandler
Producer: Lou Miguel
Production Company: Box Fresh Pictures

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY IN A VIDEO
Christina Aguilera
"Ain't No Other Man"
Back To Basics
RCA
Director: Bryan Barber
Producer: William Green
Production Company: F.M. Rocks
Choreographer: Jerri Slaughter

Sean Paul
"Temperature"
The Trinity
VP Records/Atlantic Records
Director: X
Producer: Craig Fleming
Production Company: HSI Productions
Choreographer: Tanisha Scott

Madonna
"Hung Up"
Confessions On A Dance Floor
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Johan Renck
Producer: Lene Bausager and John Winter
Production Company: RSA Films
Choreographer: Stephanie Roos

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory
Choreographer: Sho-tyme

Pussycat Dolls featuring Snoop Dogg
"Buttons"
PCD
A&M Records
Director: Francis Lawrence
Producer: Lynn Zekanis
Production Company: DNA
Choreographer: Mike Mindon

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS IN A VIDEO
Angels And Airwaves
"The Adventure"
We Don't Need To Whisper
Suretone/Geffen Records
Director: The Malloys
Producer: Dave Robertson
Production Company: Black Dog at RSA Films
Special Effects: Jack Effects

Pearl Jam
"Life Wasted"
Pearl Jam
J Records
Director: Fernando Apodaca
Producer: Eddie Vedder/Jason Mueller
Special Effects: Fernando Apodaca

Beck
"Hell Yes"
Guero
Interscope Records
Director: Garth Jennings
Producer: Nick Goldsmith
Production Company: Anonymous Content
Special Effects: Hammer & Tongs (Garth and Nick)

U2
"Original Of The Species"
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Interscope Records
Director: Catherine Owens
Producer: Catherine Owens and Katie Manning
Production Company: Spontaneous
Special Effects: John Leamy & Lawrence Nimrichter

Missy Elliott
"We Run This"
The Cookbook
From Touchstone Pictures and Spyglass Entertainment's "Stick It"
Hollywood/Gold Mind/Atlantic Records
Director: Dave Meyers
Producer: Barbara Benson
Production Company: Radical Music
Special Effects: Louis Mackall

BEST ART DIRECTION IN A VIDEO
10 Years
"Wasteland" Version 2
Autumn Effect
Republic/Universal Records
Director: Kevin Kerslake
Producer: Dave Robertson
Production Company: Merge @ Crossroads Films
Art Director: Trae King

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea
Art Director: Justin Dragonis

Common
"Testify"
BE
G.O.O.D./Geffen Records
Director: Anthony Mandler
Producer: Lou Miguel
Production Company: Box Fresh Pictures
Art Director: David Ross

Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
"Hips Don't Lie"
Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Epic Records
Director: Sophie Muller
Producer: Grant Jue
Production Company: Oil Factory
Art Director: Laura Fox

Panic! At The Disco
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
decaydance/Fueled By Ramen
Director: Shane C. Drake
Producer: Brandon Bonfiglio
Production Company: Red Van Pictures
Art Director: Lindy McMichael, Jamie Drake, Erin Wieczorek

BEST EDITING IN A VIDEO
All-American Rejects (The)
"Move Along"
Move Along
Interscope Records/Doghouse Records
Director: Marc Webb
Producer: Marcienne Friesland
Production Company: DNA
Editor: J.D. Smyth

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea
Editor: Peter Goddard

Angels And Airwaves
"The Adventure"
We Don't Need To Whisper
Suretone/Geffen Records
Director: The Malloys
Producer: Dave Robertson
Production Company: Black Dog at RSA Films
Editor: Clark Eddy

U2
"Original Of The Species"
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Interscope Records
Director: Catherine Owens
Producer: Catherine Owens and Katie Manning
Production Company: Spontaneous
Editor: Olivier Wicki

Gnarls Barkley
"Crazy"
St. Elsewhere
Downtown/Atlantic Records
Director: Robert Hales
Producer: Coleen Haynes
Production Company: HSI Productions
Editor: Ken Mowe

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY IN A VIDEO
A.F.I.
"Miss Murder"
Decemberunderground
Interscope Records
Director: Marc Webb
Producer: Marcienne Friesland
Production Company: DNA
Cinematographer: Wells Hackett

Prince
"Black Sweat"
3121
Universal Records
Director: Sanaa Hamri
Producer: Nicole Acacio
Production Company: Anonymous Content
Cinematographer: Checco Varese

Ashlee Simpson
"Invisible"
I Am Me
Geffen Records
Director: Marc Webb
Producer: Hagai Shaham
Production Company: DNA
Cinematographer: Jeff Cutter

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Dani California"
Stadium Arcadium
Warner Bros. Records
Director: Tony Kaye
Producer: Rachel Curl
Production Company: Above The Sea
Cinematographer: Tony Kaye

James Blunt
"You're Beautiful"
Back To Bedlam
Custard Records/Atlantic Records
Director: Sam Brown
Producer: Kat Armour-Brow
Production Company: Flynn Productions
Cinematographer: Robbie Ryan

VIDEO GAME CATEGORIES

BEST VIDEO GAME SOUNDTRACK
Final Night Round 3 (Electronic Arts)
Burnout Revenge (Electronic Arts)
NBA 2K6 (2K Games)
Driver: Parallel Lines (Atari)
Marc Ecko's Getting Up (Atari)

BEST VIDEO GAME SCORE
Hitman: Blood Money (Jesper Kyd)
Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter (Tom Salta)
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (Even "Magnet" Johansen)
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Jeremy Soule)
Electroplankton (User Generated Soundtrack)

As you can see, Panic at the Disco are doing quite well, as are Red Hot Chili Peppers. We'd normally be cynical and suggest that Madonna's nominations are solely there to persuade her to turn up and do a song live, but such is the nature of things that she'd probably have been nominated anyway.

Interesting to see James Blunt hasn't done badly - a bittersweet experience, of course. While its horrible to see Blunt slowly spreading across the globe like bird flu or the drift of radioactivity from a depleted uranium tipped shell, at least you have the pleasure of imagining how much that's going to eat Williams up inside.

And it's a fitting list for MTV in its 25th year: not a single, solitary surprise on the list from start-up to power down.

music mtv awards