Not Forgot-Ten: The music

Popobit: Bobby Farrell

Bobby Farrell, the bloke from Boney M, has died.

Originally a teenage sailor from Aruba, Farrell made a career shift after arriving in Europe, becoming a DJ and then getting recruited in 1974 for Frank Farian's disco act. Back in a pre-Milli Vanilli age, it wasn't unusual for the face of a band to be someone other than the voice of the band, and so it was with Boney M, where Farrell was the trousers and dance for Farian's vocals.

His frontage role turned into an actual singing part, and he continued to perform after the M split in 1986. Even over the last decade, where he was beset with breathing problems, Farrell continued to work, and he had been on stage in St Petersberg shortly before he died.

Bobby Farrell was 61.

Not Forgot-Ten: December 2010

Prince Charles pretended to like JLS and Johnny Marr told David Cameron he couldn't like The Smiths. Mick Hucknall apologised the the "thousands" of women he'd had sex with, although most hadn't noticed it happening.

Was John Lennon killed by the CIA? No, it's bollocks - but a lack of any truth is no prevention against a Daily Mail splash. Was Debbie Harry picked up by Ted Bundy? No, it's bollocks and was debunked years ago - but a lack of truth is no handicap for a Gordon Smart splash.

Things looked grim for HMV, which even took to blaming snow in winter for its decline. Almost as if HMV don't understand the meaning of 'some things are inevitable', isn't it? And why wasn't the Ne-Yo album selling? Ne-Yo had some ideas, few of which involved admitting the album was a clunker.

Regaining independence: Mute. Axed: Sky Music.

The charts turn out to be stuffed with posh kids - although, to be fair, it does keep them out of banks where they were a bit of a nightmare. Matt Cardle celebrated winning the X Factor by revealing he has trouble maintaining an erection.

This month, one night Lady GaGa wore a bra, and then didn't the next night.

Wake up and smell the Zombie

A late entrant for the year's least-needed product: Rob Zombie branded coffee.

As far as I can tell, this isn't like with civet coffee where the beans have passed through his body before being ground. I hope.

Not Forgot-Ten: November 2010

Former supermanager Peter Jenner agreed that the music industry had got pricing wrong and Sony accepted that Amanda Ghost was not the right person to run a label. The BBC admitted that some secondary reports about Ethiopian Aid might have given a wrong impression about Band Aid. The long-expected Beatles digital domination was cancelled due to lack of interest.

eMusic swapped a whole slew of indies for a major label. Senior News Corp figures started muttering that maybe it's time for MySpace to go home. Ministry Of Sound got incredibly cross when BT turned out to have deleted data, simply because it ruined their fishing trip. O2 decided that all data on their network ought to be paid for twice.

Joe Jonas was caught with a knife and, less surprisingly, Willie Nelson was caught with some blow. Marilyn Manson became a heritage act. Gerard Way changed his hair shade a bit as an act of rebellion. A New Zealand Christian group took on black metal via Facebook and won. This is not the last battle.

Robbie Williams will be selling souveniers in the gift shop as you exit.

Many toes have yet to uncurl from David Cameron getting down with Roll Deep. After five years, George Bush thought of a comeback for Kanye West. Westlife offered warm words to Ireland during the financial crisis while James Blunt announced he saved us all from nuclear Armageddon.

A Metropolitan Police gunman jollied up an inquest into a man his team had executed by dropping song titles into his evidence. Oddly, Paul Stephenson is still in post.

Splitting: Throbbing Gristle. Retiring: Elton John. Battling: Skid Row.

Radio One downgraded their regional opt-outs to the middle of the night. Danny Baker announced he's ill and we'll only be getting the odd show from the Candyman for the near future.

This month, Lady GaGa bought a share in a restaurant, and promised not to use the meatlocker as a closet.

RandBobit: Teena Marie

Sorry to hear of the Boxing Day death of Teena Marie.

Perhaps the most surprising, but touching, eulogy came from Lenny Kravitz, who admits Marie was more than just an influence:

"I've never really talked much about it in depth, but I would not be here ... if it wasn't for Teena," he confessed. "She took me in when I was around 16. I was just a musician on the street. I was living from pillar to post. She took me in. She gave me a bedroom. She fed me. She cooked for me. She took care of me. She gave me instruments to play. She took me to all her recording sessions. She took me to concerts. She nurtured me and helped me to become who I am. She changed my life not only as an artist but as a person.

"Teena Marie was a treasure, was a genius – composer, arranger, singer, musician, unique [and] underrated by far," Kravitz continued. "I just want to send all my love and respect out to the family."

It says something about Marie's position as an aficionado's choice rather than a mainstream name that Twitter decided it must have been Aretha Franklin who had died.

But she was every bit as good, if not so much of a household name. Look:



It's being reported that Marie, who was 54, might have died from a grand mal seizure.

Not Forgot-Ten: October 2010

The recession took down The Liberace museum, and everything was hauled back into a closet. More worryingly, other great swathes of music history were reported to be crumbling into dust. On the other hand, irony-free copies of Lennon's Imagine guitar were being marketed. Can you put a figure on Michael Jackson's life? His dad has tried. You could buy Rihanna for a bag of Doritos, though. And, clearly short of a few bob, Madonna launched a chain of gyms.

The Daily Mail decided Katy Perry was fat, based on an apparent inability to write about women unless in terms of their weight. The perpetually confused Westboro Church - they're the ones who turn out to picket army funerals - adopted Ozzy Osborne as their saviour. Tiring of the Anti-Defamation League pretending to be outraged, Roger Waters re-edited his Wall film. Dave McCabe was ordered to pay the guy he attacked.

Moe Tucker came out in support of the Tea Party. The liking of Madonna was formally criminalised. Adam Lambert promised to not be too gay when he played Malaysia because he didn't want to make people uncomfortable.

We probably charged too much for music, admitted Rob Dickins, while the RIAA seem annoyed that Google wanted to charge money for doing a job. Welsh artists started to talk about dumping PRS in favour of a local body. Across the Channel, the French government was offering to buy everyone songs. The RIAA finally closed down Limewire, about two years after people stopped using it.

Returning: The Hit Parade. Reunited: Razorlight. Wrapping up: Trembling Blue Stars. Going solo: Crispian Mills. In development: Julian Cope the movie. Bankrupted: Omarion.

Nas doesn't think Def Jam is well run. Dido picked up a lawsuit from a spaceman. And Selfridges ripped off Frank Sidebottom.

The Cast Of Glee turned out to be bigger than The Beatles, thereby knocking Jesus into third place.

Resonance FM passive-aggressively axed Max Tundra. Commercial radio still complained that the BBC was cheating by not being as rubbish as they are.

This month, Lady GaGa turned out to have had a bit part in The Sopranos.

Not Forgot-Ten: September 2010

"Me! I'm the man with child in his eyes" cried Steve Blacknell, ruining a song once and for all. Once again, Morrissey managed to sound a bit racist. For a man without a prejudiced bone in his body, he's managed to have more racially-tinged unfortunate coincidences than Barry Evans' character in Mind Your Language. Tony Blair revealed that Bono was right and Red Wedge was misdirected. For his pains, he got to meet Jedward. Dorian Lynskey, meanwhile, was worrying that if we treat Bono as an overinflated landlord with dubious, fluctuating ethics, it might make it hard for other musicians to be like him. Yes, that's very much the idea.

Kanye West sort-of apologised to Taylor Swift, but still made it look like it was about him. Katy Perry feels validated as an artist by her second album, now that the clothes aren't getting between her and the audience. The Charlatans had another health trauma as Jon Brookes collapsed on stage. Nicky Wire still can't resist having a pop at any other band going; nor can Mani, but he apologised to Peter Hook for going to far.

Ha, ha, ha, that joke about murdering gays and their families and friends at random to punish Perez Hilton was hilarious, 50 Cent. You really are a wit. The terrible joke that was JLS condoms became chilling reality. Supposedly, somebody offered Busted a million quid to get back together. Charlie Simpson also turned down a related offer to buy Tower Bridge. Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson picked up a lucrative second job.

In a moment like something out a heritage fair, Pete Doherty was charged with possession. Wyclef Jean, having decided against running for president, took some sick leave instead. George Michael was somehow something to do with the Moors Murders according to a very confused Sun. We don't want to fling filth at our pop kids, said South Korea.

Radio 2 decided to drop Dale Winton to give new talent a chance, and hired Tony Blackburn. Radio 1 persisted with Chris Moyles, even after a half-hour of him moaning about a slightly delayed payment. Their colleagues in television were trying to create Top Of The Pops without anyone noticing it was Top Of The Pops.

Returning: Kingmaker. Quitting: Duff McKagan from Velvet Revolver. Reuniting: The Icicle Works.

Guy Garvey came up with a complicated quasi-Catholic approach to file sharing as France's Hadopi law kicked in. Although it didn't stop the coalition saying record companies had to pay for unlicensed filesharing investigations, Feargal Sharkey still found some money to schmooze the Liberal Democrats with. One of the companies doing very nicely out filesharing panics, ACS:Law, turned out to not be so hot on their own web security.

Format of the month: Qriocity, Sony's iTunes killer.

HMV's rather good 2009 gave way to a miserable 2010, as it ran out of rivals to have close down and make it look good. Is indie in peril? Depends on what magazine you read, it turns out.

This month, Lady GaGa was marketing herself as a halloween costume.

So, what did prompt Robbie Williams to bury the hatchet with Take That?

Earnings from his company, 2006: £32million
Earnings from his company, 2009: £269,000

The Mail On Sunday does concede this ignores his earnings from elsewhere, but since those are tied to his celebrity and the celebrity emanates from musical popularity, his farm was looking very worked-out:

Williams’ music publishing business, Farrell Music, recorded losses of £536,000, while another of his companies, Little Youth, posted a loss of £65,000. Only the firm Robbiewilliams.com recorded a healthy profit of £400,000.

He wasn't about to need food stamps, but there's nothing like a spot of tailgating on Take That to boost earnings potential, eh?

Not Forgot-Ten: August 2010

Elton John went to play a gig for enormous homophobe Rush Limbaugh. Wyclef's run at the Haitian presidency wasn't even winning support from the other Fugees. Whoever was making money out of Susan Boyle, it didn't look like it was Susan Boyle. Vegas waved cash and suggested that Madonna bow to the inevitable. John Lydon signed off on a Sex Pistols perfume.

HBO decided Phil Collins looked like a serial killer. Deadmau5 looked like he might be killed by his own outfit. Jack White sounded like he might kill his own audience.

We're all in this together: even The Beckhams were cutting back. EMI discovered a new misery, with its pension pot nearly empty. Poor sales of the Scissor Sisters album? Why, it must have been the sleeve, claim the band. Feeder decided to start playing Buck Rogers again, but not because it's their only song or anything.

Liverpool City Council's promised saving of Ringo's old house turned out not to be kept. But they are Liberal Democrats, so what do you expect? Bez didn't keep his promises, either, and so ended up in prison. N-Dubz' drummer blamed the system for his sexually assaulting women.

Yoko Ono told people to not hold their breath if they were hoping to see The Beatles on iTunes. The RIAA and IFPI issued takedowns claiming to be Radiohead. Sticking to its promise to do everything for its members, the PRS pissed away some of their money on a survey about cartoons. Paul McGuinness had a few ideas about saving the music industry, by which he meant the old, broken version of it.

Returning: Republica. Renamed: Comes With Music.

Radio One hailed Annie Nightingale's forty year survival at the station. A vicar hailed Black Sabbath.

Format of the month: Music Anywhere, a bemusing streaming service.

This month, Lady GaGa was being compared to a fart joke by Katy Perry.

Not Forgot-Ten: July 2010

We finally discovered how to shut the Kings Of Leon up. You just get a pigeon to poop in Jared's mouth. Elsewhere, Billy Corgan was falling over on stage.

Pete Wentz - who must be, what, 30 or 40 years old - formed a band called Bl4ck C4rds. I'm not certain, but I'm guessing the band logo will be a skull. George Galloway started work on a Dusty Springfield musical. Yes. John Lydon was reduced to starting a spat with Duffy and Prince announced the internet was finished. Plastic Bertrand was in court over if he was real, or just a fake Plastic.

Having spent the last few years jacking up prices, Festival Republic objected to the extra VAT on 2011 tickets. Lilith Fair discovered that you can leave many seats empty if you ask ridiculous sums of money for them. Lattitude's atmosphere was ruined by rapes in the campsite, and Germany's Love Parade came to a horrible end.

Island Records very publicly fumed that their new Tom Jones album was a bit rubbish. Korn revealed just what a painful job churning a Korn album out is. Pete Muprhy and Brendan Perry's supergoth tour ended in streaming mascara eyes before a single date got played. Oh, by the way: Katie Melua's an alien.

The RIAA decided that it should start suing makers of porn films that used music without permission. This was not an excuse to spend all day at RIAA towers watching porn. The Grammys decided to allow previous years winners to still be Best Newcomers in the future.

Retiring: Torry from The Donnas. Not reforming: The Darkness. Returning: Robbie Williams to Take That. Reforming: Ace Of Base. Rejected: Girls Can't Catch. Replaced: Ollie Los Campesinos.

Cheryl Cole caught Malaria, Jennifer Lopez caught the wrath of Greek Cypriots and the police caught George Michael with his car wedged in the side of a Snappy Snaps. The woman on the cover of Vampire Weekend's Contra demanded some money. And The Sun forced Joe McElderry to come out and smile while they did it.

Use a wheelchair? Live in Portsmouth? Might want to steer clear of HMV.

Had you noticed Fran Healy had been quiet? He's been working on a solo album, it turned out. Harvey Goldsmith insisted what we needed were more Muses.

As the campaign to save 6Music succeeded, Dunstable people kicked off a campaign to try and stop Global ripping out their Heart. Radio One waved goodbye to Mary Anne Hobgoblin. And a month after closing it, the NME announced a relaunch of NME Radio.

This month, Lady GaGa reneged on a promise to buy everyone pizza.

Viacom splits from the RockBand

Having realised that there wasn't really any synergy between MTV and the RockBand game franchise, Viacom have flogged off their games studio, Harmonix.

But, hey, it isn't a humiliating climbdown - they made $25m over what they paid, and are able to push out a press release with a bit of dignity:

"Harmonix has and will continue to create terrific video games, but for us, it is about focus. The console games business requires an expertise and scale that we don't have," chief executive Philippe Dauman said.

Of course, we could have told them that back before they bought in.

Not Forgot-Ten: June 2010

Brighton and Hove apologised to Status Quo. Portland paid due honour to Modest Mouse in art form. Leona Lewis fell into a big, black hole - not the one Steve Brookstein had vanished into. Pete Murphy wound up taking a part in kid's film Twilight, and Europe admitted they hate The Final Countdown as much as everyone else.

The US decided it didn't need Pete Doherty. The Pixies pulled a Tel Aviv gig, which led the internet to decide they were a terrorist organisation until it turned out to be a joke. Having succeeded in getting noticed for the first time in years by waving her arse about in Dallas, Erykah Badu tried to recast it as an act of political defiance. Gordon Smart insisted the Cole divorce timing would be dictated by the World Cup. Shortly after, there was a terrible moment when an ordinary person nearly touched Cheryl Cole.

There will never be another Spice Girls reunion, Mel C promises. Yes, she did promise before. Wendys said sorry for giving kids CDs with Donna Summer going on about sex on them. Michael Jackson turned out to have died from not being Muslim, announced his brother.

In administration: Fabric. In rehab: Bonnie Pointer. Threatening a return: Damage. Threatening retirement: Sia.

Format of the month: The musical tee.

Coming late to the streaming market, Rdio hadn't even managed to bag a great name for itself. Buzznet picked up Gorilla Vs Bear and RCRDLBL (which might explain why older RCRDLBL embeds keep screwing up, come to think of it.) But don't go near Google - MIA reckons it's part of the illuminati. Not as evil, of course, as ASCAP which declared war on Creative Commons.

EMI tried reshuffling management again. Tom Yorke suggested that you steer clear of major labels and Lily Allen suddenly had a strange thought that the Brits might be about selling records rather than, you know, art. Jay Z, for his part, was surprised that record companies were run by old blokes.

The NME filled up an issue with the 50 Most Fearless People In Music, after getting stuck trying to come up with One Decent Idea For A Magazine that week. A couple of weeks after Krissi Murison suggested it could be a fine replacement for 6Music, the NME cut NME Radio back to its barest of bones. Commercial Radio continued to argue that rather than expect it to be any good, the BBC should be made worse as that would be fairer. You know,when you set about halving the number of stations in the Heart network, that's the sort of thing that makes you rubbish, not the existence of the BBC.

Back in Brighton, and one neighbour seemed set to have the Freebutt venue closed.

This month, Lady GaGa was squatting in Seinfeld's box.

Not Forgot-Ten: May 2010

Elvis Costello thought again on playing Tel Aviv and Madonna was unhappy with Malawi's disregard for human rights. Morrissey slapped down Stephen Street for daring to play a twenty second clip of a demo. Even angrier was Ian Astbury, who raged that nobody had stopped him pretending to be Jim Morrison. Because we were laughing too hard, Ian.

Guess who Liam Gallagher is going to make a film about? Oh, yes. The Beatles. However did you guess? Meanwhile, Katy Perry was paying tribute to something called Big Star without really knowing who or why. Peter Andre took a new role as something to do while queuing for a rollercoaster.

After his promo team slapped an advert on a wall that was a memorial to Elliott Smith, Roger Waters nearly managed a sincere apology. Nearly. The invitation for Shakira to record the official world cup song was about as popular as the England team.

MIA took against a New York Times interviewer who suggested that her life might be a bit comfier than her image would imply. And Axl Rose was upset about something, too but he often is. Miley Cyrus looked agape at Glee because, they burst into song. You don't do that in real life.

Apparently assuming we'd need his advice, Simon Cowell endorsed David Cameron. Meanwhile, a Susan Boyle-P Diddy duet was being talked up in the hope that either party might believe they'd agreed to do it while out of control. Mel B had reached the nadir of a reality TV show.

Which? magazine lamented the loss of indie record shops. Now it was no longer enjoying the benefits of rivals closing, HMV returned to decline.

Format of the month: Some odd thing where you'd be emailed a CD you buy at a branch of - yes - HMV.

It turned out closure was just the marketing device 6Music had been waiting for. Prince William went to the Radio One Roadshow. Didn't do Bits And Pieces, though.

Losing one: Interpol. Quitting 6: George Lamb. Gaining Mick Hucknall: The Faces.

Apple refused an Atari Teenage Riot app in case it lead teenagers to riot. I got a DCMA takedown notice for, erm, a song Seasick Steve's PR team had sent me to share online. The RIAA helpfully published a list of really good filesharing websites, while winning a victory over Limewire. Yes, it was still going, apparently.

Xtina was too busy too tour, Bono threw his back out and Adam Ant went back to hospital.

The JLS dollies went in to production, with the toy company hoping that the band's fans wouldn't be too grown up by the time they reached the shops.

This month, Lady GaGa's life was being turned into a comic.

Collection agencies: They do if for the artists

SoundExchange - roughly comparable to our broken-but-keen PRS - has just published its figures for 2009. Yes, despite burning through nearly $17million dollars worth of musicians' and writers' money on administration, it's taken until now to get the figures out.

MusicAlly has the details:

. They reveal incoming royalties of $204.2 million for the year (up 20% on 2008), outgoing distributions to artists and copyright holders of $155.5 million (up 55%), and operating costs of $16.7 million.

You'll have spotted a gap between what came in, and what went out. It turns out there's gallons of dollars slushing about in SoundExchange's coffers:

The key figure being the $111 million of ‘unpayable funds’

A distribution agency that can't find homes for a tenth of a billion bucks sounds like an organisation that isn't spending its seventeen million admin cream-off very effectively from where I'm sitting.

SoundExchange says it paid out $38.3 million of the $111 million in Q1-Q3 2010.

It's unclear if that $38.3m is included in the "outgoing distributions" - assuming it is, that makes the gap between what's come in and what has gone out in 2009 something around $70m.

The music industry likes to shout about filesharers "stealing" from artists. A collection agency which takes in millions of dollars to distribute to people, then admits it doesn't actually know who that money should be going to might be committing no crime, but seems to be in something of a murky grey area.

Gordon in the morning: Bono bonus

Ah, what could be better than Gordon nodding his way through some Bono justification?

Gordon has copied a piece Bono has written somewhere or other - he doesn't credit it, which is funny, what with Rupert Murdoch getting so cross when people "steal" News International "content" and pass it off as their own - and applauds quietly the Vox's bravery:

BONO understands why some folk "projectile vomit" when he preaches about humanitarian issues.

The U2 rocker - who's become as famous for his campaigning as he has for his music - admits he can sometimes be a "pain in the a***".

In a brutal scrutiny of his character, the One star also reveals he infuriates himself at times.

Oh, but surely you're being too hard on yourself, Mr. Bono? Cannot you find it in your heart to exonerate yourself? It is Christmas, after all.

"All I can say is that you can become traumatised as well as inspired by the lives you meet along the dirt road of extreme poverty.

"Sometimes I forget that I'm an artist - but I shouldn't, because that's what I am, a working pop artist in a big F-Off rock band."

That's alright then. So long as you never forget that you're an artist.

Not Forgot-Ten: April 2010

LL Cool J was surprised to find himself in a programme being interviewed by Sarah Palin, a person he's never met. Keane were livid to hear David Cameron using them as a theme tune, but not as angry as KT Tunstall was with her BNP stepdad. And Dave Rwontree explained why he fought elections. Not just something to do between Blur reunions.

Forced to choose between a girl, and a pop career, Cliff Richard decided to go the route of causing the most suffering. Liam Gallagher came up with a witty riposte just weeks after being called a name by Peter Kay. Working even more slowly, Ringo Starr decided to blame eBay for his withdrawal from autographs a couple of years back.

Q and Mojo decided to squeeze freelancers a little bit more. The NME had another revamp.

Hopes that 6Music could be saved by being rebranded were thrown down a well by the BBC. The battle between Absolut and Absolute for ownership of the name ended in a draw. Or possibly drawe. Always close to a pound note, Heather Mills won a set of free Whitney Houston tickets off Heart FM.

To the delight of the Daily Mail, it turns out Kelly Clarkson causes cancer while Phil Collins started to steal chunks of the Alamo. Dappy claimed to have taken meow meow, although the fact he called it meow meow makes it seem unlikely. Leona Lewis didn't need alcohol for a good time, or at the very least turned into a one-woman episode of Casualty. Just the message bit.

Ian Astbury pulled on our sleeves - had we heard about this downloady thing that people do on computers? It's wrong, he concluded. Last FM made itself a bit less useful by junking the 'play this track' feature. Hoping nobody would spot they were a major label, Warners tried to crowd-source the funding for Natty's new album.

Andrew Liversage from the BPI was caught out suggesting repurposing a birthday card but said he was only joking because copyright is sacrosanct, right? Information Is Beautiful had a crack at breaking down how much each format made for an artist, with limited success.

Returning: Shania Twain. Disappearing: White Rose Movement. Reworking: Shirley Manson. Quitting: Supergrass. Reforming: The 22-20s. Winding up: Voxtrot. Pausing: Idlewild.

Was the world ready for an Adam Ant comeback? More to the point, was he?

This month, Lady GaGa was unwittingly at the heart of a deep south homophobia t-shirt row.