This week just gone

Seven days on No Rock and Roll Fun:

1. R Kelly: Now there's a date, that sex video will be out in court soon
2. Pete Doherty tries to win Kate back via the Mirror
3. Lily Allen strips on a train
4. Heather Mills: more nude picture related stuff
5. Beth Ditto nude and confused
6. What is KT Tunstall - lesbian, or just dull?
7. Sun Bizarre team blasted for letting Doherty go to Mirror
8. Akon distributes free dildo vouchers to kids
9. HMV buy Fopp
10. Natasha Bedingfield denies not wearing knickers

Also this week:
United Airlines oversell and CSS miss Lollopalooza; someone gives Robbie Williams a good going-over; XFM reformats as a sports network; Dave Matthews invites Nas to play Virginia Tech memorial despite his violent songs; German prosecutors brand file sharing a petty crime; Liverpool pulls its Mathew Street Festival and LiveFest while Pete Burns caused a rumpus in a Little Chef; Eminem launched another lawsuit against Apple. Oh, and Elton John wants the internet closed.

You can read the whole week on one page
or skim the previous week in one post.

Five years ago:
Ronan Keating described some bands as "forgettable" - not in a moment of self-awareness, sadly; I Am The World Trade Center explained why their name meant they had to continue; Pinknoises, a women-in-electronica group, formed, announced their existence, and promptly vanished (although a book is due soon, apparently); Britney Spears announced a three month break - we suspected to allow her to return as grown up, so we were half-right; the BPI tried to sue EasyInternet Cafes because they had CD burners in their PCs while EMI accused AOL Time Warner of stealing music from it; the 40th anniversary of The Beatles started - it's still running, of course, and won't be over until the 50th; 3D out of Massive Attack called for anti-war forces to muster in the NME; Moby called Eminem gay while, as Steve Miller attacked the increasing Clear Channel monopoly in live US music and radio, U2 defended it; the NME hedged its bets, suggesting the era of the Superclub was over, but new ones would come in. Still waiting for that, though, obviously. Lyor Cohen revealed the Mariah Carey comeback masterplan to the FT - interestingly, a business paper, not a music magazine; and The Libertines split. For the first time.


A lovely three-disc collection of Cinerama Peel Sessions (Gedge post- and pre-Wedding Present, of course)


Always a delight to get a new collection from the Durutti Column


Rhoda Dakar - yes, from The Bodysnatchers - finally releases her first solo album


The mini-Cud revival continues with When In Rome, Kill Me getting a re-release


Yes, yes, Paschendale was brilliant - but will the album be fleet-footed or trench-footed?


Second life for Young Knives' 2002 ...Are Dead


Lloyd Cole's complete work for the BBC. Even the motorbike-era stuff


The due for rediscovery Georgie Fame's jazz-soul reworkings from the late 60s


The press team for the DVD of Glastonbury The Movie are worried people will confuse this highlights from the first 20-odd years with Julien Temple's similar project with the same name from 2006. Understandably.

Korn's drummer like a girlfriend changing the curtains, or something

Terry Bozzio had to split up with Korn because, apparently, he started to behave like he owned the place, reckons James Shaffer:

"There were certain demands that he made. We weren't ready to meet those demands. We just brought him in to write," Shaffner told WENN. "It's like some chick that you hang out with and all of a sudden they want to move in. What do you say to that? 'You were supposed to stay for the weekend, but you moved in all your [stuff].' It was kind of like that.

"He was a great guy and a phenomenal drummer but the demands that he made were offensive. He wanted to be a member of the band, and that included ownership. We were like, 'What, you want to have 25 per cent of everything?' We can't just sign away the right to music on a whim."

Good point. Just because the bloke's doing the drumming work, why on earth should he expect to be paid for it, eh?

United ground CSS

CSS had been due to play Lollapalooza this weekend, but didn't. Their set fell foul of the airlines; habits of selling more seats than they actually have, in the hope that people won't turn up - something that in most industries would be fraudulent.

The band posted the story to MySpace, and was copied to Music Slut:

*Well, folks. Wanna read a story? This is how things happened: A couple of weeks ago we finished the first part of the crazy SUMMER FESTIVAL TOURS. So we were happy we were having some days off, yay! But we had to get our working visas for USA, so instead of going home, we went to Lisbon to get our visas issued. We statyed a couple of days in sunny Lisbon (yummy Lisbon), got the papers, rested for four days and came to US.

Yesterday we played our NYC gig, which by the way was very very very fun. The crew and a part of the band headed right after the show to Chicago with the bus (which didn't have enough room for everybody) and the rest of us went stayed one more night in NYC. We had a flight to Chicago eleven in the morning of the next day (aka today). So we woke up very early, got an expensive taxi to the LaGuardia airport, checked in almost three hours before the flight and GUESS WHAT?

United Airlines oversold the flight and... and... they're very sorry cuz there's no other way for us to go to Chicago and play our gig! And they're also VERY SORRY cuz our luggages went to Chicago. And they're very sorry they ain't paying for our hotels here in NYC today, our cab, our fucking dignity. And by the way, they were the ASSHOLEST people I ever saw in my life. They treated us like shit. FUCK UNITED AIRLINES BIG TIME. BIG TIME. ASSHOLES. ARSE-HOLES.

NOW WHERE'S MY FUCKING CASE? SHIT.
We're so sorry. And pissed.
Love. And hate.
CSS.*

We've still yet to have it convincingly explained to us how airlines are able to sell something they've already sold to someone else - we have heard vague explanations that it's in someway important to maintain their ability to keep flying, but presumably they could use the same argument if they started pickpocketing customers queuing up to check in.

Exit David Coverdale, pursued by a bear

Or, rather, exit a bear, pursued by David Coverdale. Oh, yes, the bears at Lake Tahoe took on the wrong guy when one of them went into Coverdale's house. Black bear versus Whitesnake? It's not even a fair battle, is it?

The singer said he could feel the animal's breath on his hand as he closed the kitchen window, before he "ran around" the house to make sure all the other entrances and exits were secure.

"I'd like to think it was the smell of my fab cooking that seduced him," said Coverdale, "but it was only a slightly charred bagel!"

Coverdale, 55, recounted how he ran at the animal with an air horn canister and scared him into the garden.

Still, Mr Bear, at least he didn't sing at you. Small mercies, eh?

Stereolab weekend: Pack Yr Romatic Mind

live at The Phoenix, March 14, 2006

Eddie Murphy does the right thing, grudgingly, belatedly

Eddie Murphy has issued a statement accepting that he's not going to be able to wriggle out of this one ("accepting paternity of Mel B's kid"):

"He acknowledges paternity of the child, Angel, and has paid child support to Ms Brown as well as covering the expenses of her pregnancy."

The star added that he "views this as a private matter and as such, will not be making any further comments about it".

Exactly. As he did when he went on the television and implied, in front of the viewing millions, that the woman he'd impregnated was such a harlot it was impossible to discern who may or may not be the father. That sort of private matter.

Gennaro Castaldo watch: Now he's a Fopp

Surveying his new, expanded kingdom, Gennaro Castaldo welcomes the formal transfer of Fopp into the HMV family. (And it is a family. A dysfunctional one with two members of life support already, but a family nevertheless):

"Those stores actually were profitable and the Fopp brand - there's a lot of customer interest in it, it was very appealing, and I think it was working strongly across the country, but some stores were purchased and maybe didn't fit in with the original plans."

"Where those members of staff are available we'll certainly be looking to rehire them which hopefully will mean up to 70 jobs are saved."

As some commenters have pointed out, HMV are by no means picking up all the profitable links in the Fopp chanin, which suggests that the company simply couldn't extend itself to take on any more - you can see they might want to have avoided the MusicZone and MVC branches that dragged down Fopp in the first place, but there must have been some other branches which the people currently keeping HMV afloat wouldn't extend on.

Stereolab weekend: French Disko

The state of pop tv must be bad if we're starting to miss the contribution of The Word to Britain's musical cultural life.



Stereolab weekend

Robbie Williams is not going to have the shellfish there again

Does anyone here remember Robbie Williams? That's right, the straight guy. He's having a rough time of it at the moment, according to 3AM:

Robbie woes began when the 33-year-old cracked his rib during a rough boxing match - leaving him "beyond depressed".
[...]
Then, to add insult to injury, a prawn dish had him hobbling to the lavatory all day and night.

Oddly, 3AM don't seem at all surprised that Williams might have been stripped down to his shorts with another bloke, hammering around each other's bones. Robbie Williams boxing? We'd pay money to see that. Especially as he doesn't sound that good at it. Presumably too busy protecting the face.

We're sure you'll want to know more about his prawn mishap:

"I had a prawn incident. I had stuff coming out of my mouth and everywhere else in my body."

Unpleasant. We know how horrible the stuff Williams wants to come out his mouth is, so we're not even going to picture the scene.

3AM tell us that Robbie's especially upset about the injury, as he's been really getting off on that football team he runs:

Since then he has thrown himself into organising games for his football team, complete with bonding sessions in the jacuzzi.

Ah, well, he can still have the bonding in the bath with the other guys, eh? There's always consolations to be had.

Simpsons: maybe quitting music might have been a tad hasty

Jessica Simpson's bid to reinvent herself as something-or-other have run into the sand, as Blonde Ambition, the first movie in which she was asked to do more than stand around in cut-off shorts, has been rated too poor for cinema release by the studio. It's planned now to go straight to DVD, if they can find a disc able to take the movie without decaying.

Oh, god, this doesn't mean she's going to try and resurrect the music career, does it?

Allen kicks photographer, claims photographer

We have a difference of opinion, Geoffrey, over the claims that Lily Allen kicked a photographer who tried to take pictures of her as she landed at Melbourne airport.

The photographer's agency says:

"Lily Allen hid and actually kicked the photographer who asked her for just one photo."

While Allen's people say:

The photographer was jumping all over everyone. He was really in her face.

"He was asked by two tour managers to back off and then he was yelling stuff out."

Although, to us, that sounds like a justification for kicking someone rather than a denial of doing so.

Mind you, anyone who wants to take pictures of Lily Allen is probably asking for some sort of violent intervention, and we can't help feeling in five years the guy will be dining out better on the "I was kicked by a minor celebrity" story than any picture of said celebrity red-eyed after a transcontinental flight.

Embed and Breakfast man: Stereolab weekend - McCarthy

This weekend, some Stereolab stuff from around YouTube.

But, first, topped with a tell-tale ITV chart show caption, Tim Gane's great lost band, McCarthy, with Keep An Open Mind Or Else from 1989 (as far as we can tell, the only video of the band online - unless you know better than us?)



Buy:
Serene Velocity - a good 'start here' compilation
Oscillons from the Anti-Sun - 3CD, 1 DVD, comprehensive collection of most of the 'labs work
I Am A Wallet - McCarthy's 20 year-old "communist manifesto with tunes" (© Nicky Wire) reissued by the good people at Cherry Red earlier this year

More:
a nifty mini-menu of other Stereolab stuff will unfold here over the course of the Stereolab weekend
French Disko live on The Word
Pack Yr Romantic Mind live in 2006
Cybele's Reverie live in 1997
Les Ypers Sound live on Later

July 2008: Three Women

Timbers and Fiddy show no interest in girls

The lap dancers hired to appear in the 50 Cent/Justin Timberlake collaboration video - and what a charming, unexpected idea for a pop video that is, boys - are surprised that they were treated like actresses rather than girlfriends:

[Jemma Jey tells The Sun] “When I got the job I was really surprised and thrilled – I’m a big fan of them both, especially Justin. So it was a great opportunity to meet him.

“It was disappointing, though, because he was away from the set filming separately for a lot of the time.

“We [Jemma and Lucie Eloise] saw a lot of Fifty and he was a really nice guy – until he fell asleep on us. At one point we blindfolded the guys in the video and danced around them – then realised 50 Cent was sleeping.

“I think all the guys had been out for a party in the West End the night before because they were all pretty tired.”

Or maybe it was your conversation, Jemma. Or, just perhaps, even Fiddy found the video idea as dull as the rest of us.

Oh god, there's more of them

Now we're going to be awash with Allens: Keith Allen's daughter's brother is going to appear in the series spun-off the historical prequel to Casualty.

That's Alfie Allen in Casualty 1907, then.

XFM kick off the music

Back when it was bidding to become the last Manchester FM radio network, XFM looked to the people of the city for help:

Following initial local research and August’s successful restricted service licence, Xfm will apply for the new analogue radio licence for greater Manchester. Focusing on local talent and the best in new music, Xfm aim to bring the area’s music lovers an exciting and vibrant new analogue station that reflects the city’s dynamic music scene.

They showed their support for an alternative radio station, and Ofcom duly presented them with a licence.

Here, the station reaffirmed that they were an alternative music network. In their licence, it says:

XFM WILL PROVIDE AN ALTERNATIVE MUSIC FORMAT FOR 15-34 YEAR OLDS IN THE MANCHESTER AREA, PLAYING GENERALLY GUITAR-LED, QUALITY MODERN AND CLASSIC “MUSIC WITH ATTITUDE” CREATED BY ARTISTS WHO CHALLENGE THE MAINSTREAM POP AESTHETICS.
Detail
Artists featured on XFM Manchester will generally be “Alternative”: credible, youthful and committed to challenging the aesthetics of mainstream pop music, with an emphasis on quality of composition. “Alternative” genres will include Alternative Rock, Modern Alternative, Britpop and Pop Rock.
XFM Manchester’s output will be guided by these principles rather than by chart success, past or present, and so will rarely have significant overlap with other local radio stations, though these artists may occasionally enjoy chart success over the lifetime of the licence in line with fluctuations in popular tastes.

Daytime output will consist of at least 70% current and recurrent Alternative tracks with the balance being ‘classic rock and indie tracks’, defined as classic alternative tracks and heritage rock tracks that have inspired Alternative acts. 45 hours per week specialist shows will showcase the fringes of Alternative music and reflect the diverse tastes of music fans in Manchester, such as dance-rock, underground hip hop and electronica.

All aspects of Xfm Manchester’s output, contemporary and classic, general and specialist, will feature artists from Manchester and the surrounding area prominently. Many tracks will be selected by local listeners via requests, including dedicated request programming of at least two hours per day.

Daily programming (hourly during daytime) will contain local listings for live music and other cultural events, music news and news containing a mixture of international, national and local reports in line with the tastes of the audience. Weekly output will include at least three ‘live’ sessions (each at least 15 minutes) and at least three unsigned artists.

Comedy is a key interest to the target audience; XFM Manchester will accordingly broadcast specialist comedy shows and seek to include comedy elements within general programming where appropriate. The service must be based within the licence area.

Now, where, in all of that, is the bit that justifies their announcement that they're going to cover every Manchester United match, in its entirety - and have an hour-long interview programme with Alex Ferguson every Friday night? Isn't this a transparent example of a company promising to do one thing, and then doing something very different once they have a licence?

YMCA: putting it straight

In a desperate bid to try and change the course of history, Victor Willis is trying to dampen down the surprisingly popular belief that the Village People were the gayest thing ever. Although since he says he left the band because the others were too gay and flamboyant, even he may recognise that he's going to have an uphill task.

But he's trying, anyway, with a claim that YMCA isn't about having sex with men:

Willis, best-known for portraying the cop and the naval admiral in the '70s disco group, also reveals "Y.M.C.A." was written in Vancouver and was never meant to refer to gay cruising, says his publicist Alice Wolf.

Wolf says the group was on tour when Willis wrote the lyrics at the behest of the band's French producer, Jacques Morali, who wrote the music. But Willis never intended the homosexual innuendo that many fans read into the song.

"Victor Willis wrote about the YMCA and having fun there, but the type of fun he was talking about was straight fun," insists Wolf, adding that Willis has nothing against homosexuality.

"When he says, 'Hang out with all the boys'... he's talking about the boys, the fellas.... But it's one of those ambiguous songs that was taken that way because of the gay association with Village People."

See? He meant fellas, for god's sake, not chaps. Why on earth would people assume that just because a bunch of guys dressed up as fetish types and started singing about "doing whatever you feel" and "ways to have a good time" that it was somehow gay.

Oddly, Ray Simpson - who is still with the band - doesn't seem totally swayed by Willis' arguments:

All I can say is: for every story, there's another story

In tomorrow's papers: Tom Robinson insists Glad To Be Gay was merely a 1970s reworking of Whistle A Happy Tune.

US gets taste of Indie Top 20

In much the same way as the UK success of Now Thats What I Call Music spawned indie compilation copyists - first the sublime Indie Top 20 series marshaled by former Peel associate Clive Selwood; then the ridculous Shine series - now Now is big in the US, it's getting some upstart competition too.

It's called This is Next", although the presence of Sonic Youth in the debut tracklisting makes the promise of unknown pleasures offered by the title ring a little hollow. The line-up isn't bad:

01 Bloc Party - "The Prayer"
02 Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Cheated Hearts"
03 Sonic Youth - "Do You Believe in Rapture?"
04 The Shins - "Phantom Limb"
05 Spoon - "The Underdog"
06 Bright Eyes - "Four Winds"
07 Cat Power - "Lived in Bars"
08 Neko Case - "Hold On, Hold On"
09 Of Montreal - "Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse"
10 Deerhoof - "The Perfect Me"
11 The Hold Steady - "Chips Ahoy!"
12 Cold War Kids - "Hang Me Up to Dry"
13 Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - "Colleen"
14 M. Ward - "Chinese Translation"
15 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "Satan Said Dance"

... but nothing that you don't already get on the Paste magazine covermounts, say.

Murder victims families object to Murder singer

We're not entirely sure that having a gig at Virgina Tech is a robust idea in the first place - is the idea that, somehow, forty minutes of Dave Matthews is going to heal the pain? Or is it merely a slightly grisly way of bumping up John Mayer's sales?

What's made it worse, though, is that the organisers - who are, funnily enough, the Dave Matthews Band - has invited Nas to be on the bill.

Yes, Nas. Because how better to remember the brutal murders by a gunman than listening to the bloke who did the "shoot 'em up, just shoot 'em up, what?/ Kill, kill, kill, murder, murder, murder" song.

Some of the families, represented by Vincent J. Bove, aren't happy:

The lyrics "are indicative of the moral decay in our society that contributes to acts of violence," said Bove, a New Jersey security expert who has volunteered to speak for the families. "For a university official to condone it or to be clueless of what this person's track record is, it's unconscionable beyond belief."

University officials, however, said they have received an overwhelmingly positive response since they announced the concert Wednesday and have no plans to revise the lineup.

Because, of course, the Virgina Tech officials are pretty good at not taking responsibility.

Stefani agrees to put it away

In order to try and stop a bunch of Muslim students from campaigning to have her Malaysia gig cancelled, Gwen Stefani has agreed she won't wear 'revealing' outfits onstage.

The student union's vice president, Abdul Muntaqim, told the Associated Press: "Her performance and her attire are not suitable for our culture.

"It promotes a certain degree of obscenity and will encourage youth to emulate Western lifestyle."

We're not sure that simply covering up her belly button is going to satisfy anyone under those circumstances - surely even her stupid houndstooth cap, while demure, is dangerously Western?

Rozalita Abdul Rahman from concert promoters Maxis Communications Bhd said: "Whether it concerns the singer's attire or the security for the concert, we will abide by the rules and guidelines and assure that nothing will go wrong."

Siti Zaleha Baba, a senior official at the Malaysian Culture Arts and Heritage Ministry said: "There is no problem so far. [The concert promoter] has told us what clothes she will wear for the concert."

Mind you, everyone thought that PJ Proby was going to be a safe bet back in the day.

Lights, Cowell, Action

Amongst any working list of things we could do without would surely be Pop Idol the Movie:

Speaking to The Hollywood Reporter, Cowell said: "We want it to be the musical version of Rocky - an underdog story, a feel-good film."

So, not an accurate one, then, where an underdog would fight for their big chance only to discover the public have, instead, blown their dinnermoney on buying some beastly opera thing by a bloke who sells mobile phones for a living, who happened to appear on the telly the night before.

The only reason we're not heading for the set with a flaming torch and a chant of "purge, purge" is the involvement of Jonathan Harvey, who has at least managed to inject some of the old-school sparkle back into his Coronation Street scripts. On the other hand, let's not forget he also did Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie, so we'll keep these torches and a box of Swan Vesta on hand.

Madonna frets over Polaroid timebomb

We're somehow finding it difficult to believe that Madonna is really as bothered by the upcoming auction of stuff she sent to James Albright as the Mail claims.

At the time, Albright was occupying the awkward position of bodyguard-turned-boyfriend, and Madonna had sent him photos of her bits and letters. Now, he's sold them on, and the Mail reckons she's worried that their coming on the market might be awkward with the Malawian authorities about to perform a belated rating of her suitability as an adoptive parent.

Yes, because a department which would turn a blind eye to the Sex book would find some personal items an uncrossable line. Compared to posing for a money-making scheme which required you to pretend to be taken up the arse by Vanilla Ice, sending a few intimate shots to yur then-partner seems somewhat charming, surely?

The real question is who comes out of the story worse: Madonna or Albright?

The letters and notes, all of which come on "Madonna" headed notepaper, were sent by the singer at a time when she was professionally at her most controversial. She had just brought out her Sex book and was about to release a sadomasochisminspired album named Erotica.

The handwritten letters are signed either "Spanky", apparently a reference to her bedroom preferences at the time, or "Lola's Mum", which is understood to refer to the ambition that Madonna had back then to name her first child Lola. Others sign off with pink lipstick kiss marks.

You send your love letters on headed notepaper? That's only a step away from having them dictated to a secretary.

But then, Albright selling out his ex for a few quid is some especially grubby.

Perhaps, though, the least charming of all the particpants in this game is the spokesperson for Marquee Capital, the group who are selling on the pictures:

A source at Marquee Capital, which is selling the items, claims that rather that being merely salacious, they actually give a fascinating insight into the singer and the workings of her mind at the time.

"It's not all about sex. Some of the notes and letters talk of her world falling apart, others talk of her feeling really low and down. She talks of Albright being the best looking guy in the world and that he does not open up enough to her.

"These letters show us that at the height of her career, she was actually a very insecure woman."

Aha. It's a fascinating glimpse of entertainment history they're selling, rather than a tacky glimpse up Madonna's corset.

Craig David all over the place

We're certain that this, from 3AM, only needs a few more words to actually make some sense:

You'd think a nice boy like Craig David would know better.

The R'n'B ladies' man delivered a crude best man's speech, which had record executives blushing.

Shocked Virgin Radio DJ Christian O'Connell revealed: "He said, 'Isn't it amazing when the girl you fall in love with also gives good ****'."

Of course, it's hard to make a story about Christian O'Connell pretending to be shocked by something Craig David said interesting, but shouldn't the story at least explain where this happened - did Craig David run into Sony's headquarters?

And have 3AM really asterisked out "head"?

Beth owes a debt

Beth Ditto has been talking about the origins of The Gossip as a number of lines on original drummer Kathy Mendonca's credit card:

“When you are college age, credit card companies bombard you with applications — so Kathy applied and got one.

“She paid for Nathan to move to Olympia with her and, when I graduated from high school a couple of years later, she paid for me to come out there too.

“That’s when we got the band together. Kathy was our drummer but she’s not in the band anymore.

“I think she’s still in debt because of that card — it was totally maxed out.”

Of course, now she's successful, Beth is going to repay that debt.

No, not by digging into her pocket, silly:

“On our next record I am going to write a song called Kathy’s Credit Card.”

Brilliant... and as you'll be getting royalties, you'll still be living off her credit card.

Newton warms-up Frost story

Having been on the end of a chewing-out for letting the Mirror make the running with the Pete Doherty story, Victoria Newton knows she has to raise her game this morning.

She, erm, doesn't quite manage it, going with a Sadie Frost angle:

NO ONE is celebrating KATE MOSS dumping PETE DOHERTY more than her best pal SADIE FROST.

And I know why.

Actress and mum-of-four Sadie was horrified when she discovered the junkie rocker had hidden drugs in her handbag during a group holiday.

It was in June 2005 when Sadie, Kate and Pete were on a boat owned by the father of their pal DAVINIA TAYLOR, cruising round the Med.

Yes, Newton's big exclusive is actually I Know What You Did The Summer Before Last, tacked onto a vaguely-worded guess that Frost will be pleased that Moss has dumped Pete. Hold the front page, everybody.

Labels told: file sharing is a "petty" crime

The German leg of the legal campaign against illicit file-sharing has suffered a series of setbacks, with public prosecutors telling the labels they can't pursue fielsharers as if they were criminals over a few, petty filesharing offences. In short, the prosecutors say they won't do the label's dirty work:

heise online has meanwhile seen an anonymized version of the lengthy reply of the chief public prosecutor's office in Berlin, dated October 18, 2006. In its reply the chief public prosecutor's office accuses the copyright holders of trying "under cover of pretending to want to initiate criminal proceedings to obtain for free and by exploiting the limited resources of the prosecuting authorities and at the expense of the budget of the federal state of Berlin the personal data required for the successful pursuit of civil claims." The chief public prosecutor's office in Berlin also denied that launching an investigation was in the public interest. All the offenses that had been brought to its attention were minor, the office stated. In a fashion comparable to that of the Local Court in Offenburg the chief public prosecutor's office in Berlin also looked into the damage done by the P2P network uploads. Contrary to the statements found in the complaint the damage done had to be regarded as "insignificant," the office declared. Hence the criterion of "minimal culpability," of necessity, had to result in a nolle prosequi being issued without any prior investigation.

Moreover, the "deciphering of IP addresses" and search warrants were intrusions on basic rights, to which the principle of proportionality had to be applied, the chief public prosecutor's office stated. This principle required that no investigation be launched in response to the complaints filed, the office declared. Here too the chief public prosecutor's office points to the copyright holders' likely motivation in filing the complaints: "Criminal-law-based investigations that entail intrusions on basic rights must not be launched for extraneous reasons -- such as nothing more than a desire to obtain evidence for a civil suit."

And what's disproportionate in Germany is surely disproportionate elsewhere. So, less like someone stealing a CD from a shop, more like someone reading your paper over your shoulder.

Manson gets stick from Pogo

Stephen 'Pogo' Bier, who spent a lot of time in make-up backing up Marilyn Manson with vaguely gothic keyboard plinky-plonk, is launching a lawsuit:

[He] accuses the Goth rocker and his "musketeers" (his business manager, lawyer and the band's manager) of assisting Manson "in filching millions of dollars the band made over the years." According to an e-mail sent to us that was approved by Bier's lawyer, Keith Fink, Manson promised Bier "partnership proceeds" from the band in 1993, but then spluged on "a multimillion-dollar home, had a lavish wedding in Ireland, gave an engagement ring to Dita von Teese" and collected Nazi artifacts and taxidermy. When Bier asked for the "partnership proceeds," Manson "devised a campaign to drive Bier out of the band and rob him of his entitlement," the e-mail states. "Litigation will begin immediately."

It's not known if Pogo wants cash, or just wants some of the "collected Nazi artifacts."

What's with collecting Nazi stuff, anyway? We know people who collect football team stuff, and we know people who have a collection of music memorabilia. Generally, they collect stuff from the team they support. Now, we know Manson likes to try and pretend to be shocking, but using a bunch of mass murderers to make your eyeliner-and-pvc shtick seem more spooky? If it wasn't so soggy, it'd be pathetic.

Fflam flops

The Welsh T in the Park, the Fflam festival, has given up trying to find a new date after postponing earlier in the month and have announced they're giving up altogether:

"It is with great regret that we confirm the cancellation of the Fflam Festival for 2007. After the initial postponement due to torrential weather conditions, we have made every possible effort to try and secure a new date for the festival this summer. Unfortunately, we cannot find a date that suits all parties and due to artist availability, we are not in a position to deliver the brilliant line-up of bands we always intended if we go ahead.

At this stage, we are left with no option but to cancel the festival for 2007 and put all our efforts into making it a huge success in 2008. We would like to thank all the people in the local community who have stuck by us and supported us throughout the past couple of months. For those who bought tickets, full refunds will be available from point of purchase."

Although the weather hasn't entirely helped, the sheer number of festivals calling it off this year must also be related to a total oversupply of events. It'll be interesting to see how many of the no-shows in 2007 actually do bother to come round again next year.

Scarlett Johansson prepares TV work

We're not sure the world entirely needs a Scarlett Johansson album, but it looks like we're going to get one anyway, produced by TV On The Radio's Dave Sitek. What's it going to sound like?

The actress's sound is "avant garde" and "very Marilyn Monroe" says Dockside Studio owner Steve Nails, and he reckons it could even go on to win a Grammy.

Uh... yes, because Marilyn Monroe was known for her avant garde musical work. She was like Yoko Ono or something. And we all know how much the Grammy judges love something away from the mainstream.

Timbaland sees how far he can push it

Sooner or later, Timbaland's apparent inability to just pretend to be too busy is going to get the better of him. In fact, Timbaland electing to work with Celine Dion might be that very point.

Jack White taunts journalists

Jack White has suggested that music journalists are inherently lazy bums who just copy stuff without thinking, according to an interview NME.com have cut-and-pasted from elsewhere on the web:

"I'd say 90 per cent of what they get is from the press release. We have fun putting things in there - like in the press release for 'Elephant', somebody inserted a joke about how none of our studio equipment was made after 1963.

"Before you knew it, people thought we wouldn't touch a piece of equipment unless it's 60 years old or something! It gets to the point where you're answering questions based on a joke somebody made."

Hmm. Which is all well and good, but isn't it a bit rich to be putting plausible-sounding fibs in your official press handouts and then complaining when people believe them? It's not like the idea of White only using old equipment is so outlandish, given his track record and the existence of a school of thought that music sounded better when it was all amps and analogue; it's not as if they claimed, say, Paris Hilton was doing backing vocals and everyone fell for it.

White carried on:

"Anytime I pick up a music magazine, I assume 90 per cent of it is incorrect, so I make up my own things to believe.

"Everyone knows the phrase 'Don't believe everything you read,' but how many people actually practice it?"

Or possibly he said "I love wearing frilly knickers, but the strapping beforehand really chaffes."