Monday, September 03, 2007

Radio One More Time: More Music Mondays

At the time, the dawn of "more music Mondays" were rumoured to be the result of a miscalculation, where Radio One had discovered it hadn't eaten up all of its needle time for a year. The idea was simple: DJs would dispense with the usual features, and - on Mondays - restrict themselves to little more than playing records and announcing what they were.

In theory, for a pop station, this should make sense: aren't the presenters there because they wanted to share music with their audiences? Aren't the audiences there because they want to hear music?

It turned out that, no, this wasn't the case. The likes of Simon Bates didn't drag themselves in from the Home Counties to just cue up Don Henley and say "it's half past ten, here's Don Henley." And listeners, shorn of the features and tics against which they made it through their day, felt lost.

More Music Mondays were quietly dropped.

[Radio One More Time]


It's the question on everyone's lips

Today, the Daily Mail dares to print the question that everyone is secretly asking:

Is Teri Hatcher turning into Michael Jackson?

The answer, by the way, is unsurprisingly "no, because she's had a bit of work, and Michael Jackson has had his face replaced with a grim death mask."


Pop and parking: apparently a flashpoint

After yesterday's shocking horror of minor parking infractions by Heather Mills comes the equally shocking tale of Lily Allen not quite understanding the rules on resident's bays:

when the bay's owner saw Lily parking her Mini again last week, he pounced.

An onlooker tells us: "The man marched over to Lily, started jabbing his finger at her and gave her a piece of his mind.
[...]
"The man, who was in his 20s, looked a bit surprised when confronted with a pop star but continued laying into her, saying she was selfish and generally having a go."
[...]
"She started screaming at him, telling him to shut up and to treat her with some respect.

"She said it was just a mistake, but looked really shaken by the experience - especially considering he was one of her neighbours."

Telling someone to shut up and "treat you with respect" - yes, that's the way you react when you've made an honest mistake.

It can, surely, be only a few days until Britney Spears is caught feeding meters.


Is it really a "date"?

Perhaps Victoria Newton is all giddy because of Norris asking Rita to marry him and now believes that there's a romantic notion behind every shared meal: how else could she report, with a straight face, that Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger went on a date. What to most people would seem to be two adults getting a meal together has Victoria seeing hosts of angels floating on pink hearts.

So, what does Victoria have to build the claims of a "date" on?

A source said: “It’s a very romantic place. They looked like they enjoyed themselves.”

Ah. Well, um, that's far from conclusive. Anything else?
They hugged at the American Hotel in Sag Harbor, New York state, before leaving separately.

So there are candles on the tables and they briefly embraced. So, not jumping to conclusions there, then.


Sunday, September 02, 2007

Girlschool cancel US and German dates

More tight visa rulings: this time, it's Girlschool who have had to pull their US dates due to visas not coming through:

"We are absolutely devastated that we had to cancel these shows due to the incompetence of the powers that be. The people that we had trusted to do their jobs and the bureaucracy of the American embassy really sucks.

"We have spent four days at the embassy this week where we were told that our visas had all been approved and that they would try and hurry them up so we would get our passports returned to us before we were due to leave for Germany on the night of August 30th. We then spent two days on the phone begging for our passports to be returned to us but were told that it takes three-five working days.

"Well, as you can imagine, we couldn't believe it after we had been told that they would courier them back to us [as soon as possible]. We have had to cancel all the shows and are extremely disappointed that we have let our fans down.

"To any bands that are applying for a U.S. visa, make sure that you apply at least six months before you go; that way you can be sure of getting your passports back in time.

"Once again we would like to apologize to the German and American fans — and the concert promoters. Hopefully we will see them soon if we ever get our passports back."

Well done, America: now managing to make bands cancel European dates as well as ones in the US.


Duran takes on an air of permanence

Following yesterday's upsetting news about Andy Kershaw, the Radio 3 website appears to have promoted Lucy Duran to full-time host of the Monday night programme - even the Listen Again file has been renamed.

[Thanks to Martin W on Zapsmart]


NBC-Universal walk from iTunes

NBC has decided to withdraw its amusing programmes and movies from the iTunes Music store, following Apple's refusal to allow "bundling" of downloads.

NBC believes that customers want to be "allowed" to buy packages of things they want with stuff they wouldn't bother with in a million years.

Apple believes customers want to just pay for and get what they want.

NBC, it should be noted, also believed that people wanted to watch a programme about Victoria Beckham.

It's possible, of course, that the NBC move is related to its sister record label's continuing sulk about the iTunes Music Store, and this is meant to be some sort of dire warning to Steve Jobs about what the future might hold.


Radio One More Time: Sessions

Trades unionism has given a lot for this country to be proud of, but even the TUC fails to lay claim to Jarvis Cocker. Yes, for without unions, there would be no Jarvis.

The 'session' was a workaround from the early days of the station: worried about the prospect of all-record networks forcing their members out of work, the Musicians Union got broadcasters to agree to the Needle Time Directive. This limited Radio One to a certain amount of record-playing every day, and, to fill the gap, the concept of the specially-recorded session was created. That this was seen as a nuisance rather than an opportunity is shown in the programmes which took the brunt of this filler material: late-night, new music shows.

They, though, embraced the chance to get artists in to record stuff, so that worked out alright, then. And, in so doing, allowed the BBC to build up a massive collection of recordings which retain value today. Because, seriously, while replaying a John Peel session by, say, The Buzzcocks is appealing even now, had Simon Bates been in charge of booking the session acts, the archive might have consisted of much more Joan Armatrading.

Besides fulfilling the needs of the BBC to take the needle off the record, the sessions also provided a lifeline to new bands - the guaranteed four tracks played on proper radio would allow the band to qualify for their share of royalties from the copyright agencies, meaning the lucrative nature of the arrangement went beyond just the fee for the recordings.

The recording of a session - especially a Peel session - quickly became a yardstick of success: indeed, it was the invitation to record for Peel that led the young Jarvis Cocker to conclude that Pulp would be a success, and cancel his plans for university. And, indeed, they were a success. Just not that quickly. But at least the session had given something to Jarvis to cling to, which his record sales and gig attendances at the time wouldn't have provided. That, alone, might have been worth martyring the young men of Tollpuddle for.

Nowadays, of course, the session has been enthusiastically embraced by all parts of the network, and not only because it means they can knock out a compilation album of "unexpected" tear-inducingly obvious cover versions from the Live Lounge every 18 months or so. Oh, Travis, you've done a pop song. How surprising.

But is the embrace quite as warm as it seems? Back when sessions were tucked away to the evenings, you'd get a new one and a repeat on Janice Long, a new one and repeat on Peel or Kershaw, probably one on the Rock Show and one on Saturday Live. Since the dawn of Mark Goodier's Evening Session, though, the earlier part of the night-time programme started to eek a session out over the course of the week, perhaps from the mistaken belief that more than one slice of Dinosaur Jr might be too much for one sitting. Again, the impression is of an audience being underestimated.


Amy and Pete: The crossover episode

Sooner or later, Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty's track marks were going to have to cross. This morning's Sunday Mirror is claiming that Pete was with Amy the night that she wound up in A&E, but - as is becoming a bit of a habit with him - disappeared at the first sniff of life-threatening trouble.

This is all claimed by an unnamed "friend of Pete":

"I met Pete the day after that. He was really shaken up by the whole experience. He said he thought Amy would die.

"He said they all had a meal and a few drinks and did a few drugs. Pete said him, Blake and Amy were all doing the same thing.

"They were all taking a cocktail of drugs called a Speedball. I've seen Pete do it before. It's a mix of heroin and cocaine. You draw it all up in a needle and inject it. It's strong stuff - if you haven't slept for a couple of days then it is going to put you to sleep or kill you, especially if you are underweight or if you are not used to it.

"At the end of the day, Amy couldn't take it. River Phoenix died from an overdose after a speedball, so Amy is really very lucky to be alive."

I don't know about you, but whenever I'm retelling a story a friend's told me, I sprinkle details that sound like they've been c-and-ped from Wikiepdia into the tale.

Meanwhile, the News of the World has got longs-lens photos which appear to show evidence of injection on Winehouse's arms, so they take them to the parents to have a look at - Mitch Winehouse must be thrilled every time a News International journalist turns up with a new set of photos.

The Mail On Sunday decides it's time to blame the parents, and, digging around in the Fielder-Civil's pasts, comes up with an eye-catching headline:
Revealed: The secret criminal past of Amy Winehouse's in-laws

It's not quite the Great Train Robbery, though. It turns out the Fielder-Civils were convicted of an attack on a village football team coach who had the temerity to criticise one of their other kids. Which is vile, and - admittedly - criminal, but hardly stacks up the headlines.


"And this is where we keep the money..."

Naturally, you have to view the News of the World's report on Madonna and Guy's plans for the adoption inspection visit with a degree of caution, but if there's any truth in their claims, it offers quite a view:

A friend of the couple told us: "They're on tenterhooks waiting for this man to arrive in the UK.[...] To send David back would be devastating and it's something they're determined to avoid at all costs."

And what does that translate into?
The social worker will also be introduced to the rest of their staff who live in two mews houses yards from their front door.
[...]
"They're determined to come across as a perfect little family unit and also show that they've got enough money to buy David every last thing he could ever need."

It's always down to the money, isn't it?


Rav Singh ruins Christmas for everyone

Rav Singh, the showbizziest writer in the world (or something) reckons that George Michael is going to write The Spice Girls' comeback single:

My music insider told me: "The girls are thrilled to be in talks with George.

"He's one of the most talented songwriters around and it will make their comeback bigger and better than ever."

Yes, the source is not only anonymous, but vague to the point of parody - what the hell is a "music insider"? It could be Elton John, it could be the bloke who tunes the piano in the village hall.

We're also a little bemused as to how the girls are currently "in talks" with Michael to write a single that Singh and his paper were reporting was being recorded back in May.

And since when was George Michael great at writing hit singles? Like, recently? It's like getting Kevin Keegan in to play in goal for you, combining someone who's well past their best with the role they never really excelled at.

Still, the "music insider" is already putting this track in a "two horse race" for number one at Christmas. And if a possible Spice Girls/Michael link-up seems vague, they're currently battling about 200 other people in this two-horse race:
My insider added: "This year's Christmas No1 is a two-horse race and is impossible to call. The X Factor looks unstoppable, and the show's been getting some really good ratings too."

This sort of vague, could-have-read-it-in-any-paper analysis makes us lean towards the "village hall piano tuner" status for Rav's insider.


This week just gone

Seven days from No Rock and Roll Fun

The ten most-read stories on the site were:

1. Dannii Minogue's stripper and the naked CCTV video
2. R Kelly's sex video for court
3. Lily Allen changes her knickers
4. Beth Ditto strips for the NME
5. DMX in dog cruelty trouble - again
6. McFly get naked and dance around
7. Is KT Tunstall straight or what?
8. Here, kids - Uncle Akon hands out free dildo tickets
9. Darren Hayes detained following allegations of racial assault
10. Lily Allen thrown off-stage at Notting Hill

Also this week: Amy Winehouse goes from bad to even more dismal; Andy Kershaw was arrested; Bobby Brown and Kevin Federline both tried to redraft their divorces in their own favour; Supergrass suffered a terrible accident; Keith Richards complained about a bad review and - if you believe Courtney Love - Steve Coogan nearly killed Owen Wilson.

You can read the whole week on one page
or skim the week before in one post.

Five years ago:
The Foo Fighters turned out to be supporting the belief that HIV and AIDS were unrelated; Steve Burns, the US host of Blue's Clues, turned out to be an indie-singer; Busted somehow got away with a single about teachers having sex with schoolchildren; The Levellers used crop circles to promote their new record; Kerry Katona revealed that she quit Atomic Kitten because she'd never want to go to Japan again; Paul Weller moaned about being "used" by Red Wedge and, shamefully, used implied homosexuality as an insult; Chris Tarrant stepping down at Capital led to a rush for the breakfast show and a ten percent fall in the share price; Graham Coxon was sort-of-still-in-Blur


This was a slow week for releases, what with the bank holiday and all:


They are also scientists: The Soft-Hearted Scientists, to be exact



Super Fury Animals recapture their early sound: Hey Venus!



Tuung's Good Arrows: "Faintly murderous" reports the Observer



Sharon Shannon's first new album since 2003. Just ignore the sleeve art



If you've managed to miss the sixty-three previous Crystal Gayle greatest hits...



"They used to call me their little London prince" - this is the first series of the great lost Briers sitcom. Let's hope we get the other Other One soon


Saturday, September 01, 2007

The recent stuff, it's unsurprising, Pete

Pity-me indie boy Pete Doherty has been bemoaning the fact that Kate Moss doesn't like his work:

The people that I thought I was in love with, they've never been a big fan of my music."

Which makes you wonder what she was doing singing on the Babyshambles album if she didn't like it much.


Twenty Years On

Dedicated to Tony Wilson, and worth your attention: Little 015 - NineteenEightyySeven. Nineteen bands from 2007 doing 19 tracks from 1987. One each, of course, it's not 361 tracks. Amongst those taking part are The Leatherettes and Beki & The Bullets; amongst the acts being updated are A-Ha, The Vaselines and - eek - Men Without Hats.


Winehouse: That Caribbean holiday's going well, then

The somewhat surprising decision to take a holiday in the sun rather than getting help seems to be working poorly for Amy Winehouse, as hotel staff report having to clean her suite of blood and vomit, and bloody vomit:

"It was sickening. They were horrified by the state of the room which looked like a bomb had hit it."

Presumably one of those bleeding-and-vomiting bombs that Hitler had been working on towards the end of the second world war.


MP3s to flow from Amazon, says source

The much-delayed launch of Amazon's MP3 service - the most plausible iTunes Music Store threat (if not actual killer) to date - could be happening in the next couple of week. The New York Post has read its runes and predicts a big switch-on for September 17th.

The birth is set to be troubled, though, as record labels seem to be more interested in setting unrealistic prices rather than helping create a proper rival to Apple's behemoth:

Amazon is expected to have at least two prices for individual songs: 99 cents for new and popular MP3s, and 89 cents for music from emerging artists and back catalog tracks.

Albums are expected to cost between $7.99 and $9.99.

That strategy is said to be rubbing some labels the wrong way. Amazon is said to still be negotiating prices with the majors.

Multiple prices for music, a concept known as variable pricing, has been a priority for the major labels, who have chafed at iTunes' one price for all songs, regardless of their popularity. But many large record companies want to charge more than $1 for songs from superstar acts, and possibly less for music from undiscovered artists.

You've got to love the way the music industry bleats for years about wanting someone to challenge Apple, and as soon as someone comes along who could, credibly, do so, they expect the appearance of competition to work in the opposite way in the download music market to how it behaves elsewhere in the world, bringing prices up rather than forcing them down. It's like an entire industry without anyone who understands business,


Aerosmith can't be arsed to choose their own songs anymore

Understandably, Aerosmith have now been going so long they can't be bothered to pick their own setlists nowadays: they're inviting fans to do that job for them, leaving them time to concentrate on the more lucrative field of sorting the merchandising.


Carey sets feminism, femininity back another 100 years

Oh, god. It sounds like Mariah Carey's new album is like those old Friends break bumpers for cheap white wine, only with more pink giggling:

"I sat in the hot tub the other night playing some songs for some friends and one of them felt that is was a very pro-woman thing.

"It's not that the songs are male-bashing. It's a fun record."

Now, we could be wrong. Perhaps the record is pro-woman in calling for equal rights, access to education, an end to female circumcision and suttee practices.

But we suspect it isn't.


Timbaland, The Game, and the uncleared sample

Timbaland and The Game (is there anything more stupid than a name which begins with "the", by the way?) are being pursued for copyright infringement. Saregama India claims the pair used a sample from one of their artists on The Game's 2005 album. It's not clear why it's taken two years for them to notice - presumably they couldn't stand to listen to the album more than a track or two at a time.


Kershaw arrested near Peel

The somewhat protracted absence of Andy Kershaw from Radio 3 - there was some muttering about him being "unwell" but then Lucy Durans' stewardship of the Monday-night programme seemed to be turning into a permanent residency - might be getting a bit more protracted yet: he's been detained on the Isle of Man for allegedly breaching a restraining order designed to prevent him going near the home of his former partner, Juliette Banner.

Andy has been remanded in custody pending a hearing this Tuesday.


Radio One More Time: Laura's First Love

Radio One never embraced drama. While Radio 2 fought bravely with Waggoner's Walk and even Piccadilly Radio in Manchester had a stab at building a soap with a series set in a taxi firm, the Nation's Favourite never felt the need. Perhaps the torrid excitement of Our Tune was considered to be enough for the audience, or maybe Dave Lee Travis and his tales from his farm were meant to fill the gap.

Which is why it never quite made sense for Steve Wright to launch a parody soap opera in his show. Even more inexplicably, the Wright soap, Laura's First (and Second) Love chose to take the piss out of US daytime and radio soaps which, while ripe for targeting, weren't all that familiar in Britain at the time. Perhaps in these post Sunset Beach and Ugly Betty days, the source material might be more obvious, but in the early 80s, convoluted plots about Nazis and "a certain Goldstein millions" didn't seem to be a deliberate over-inflation of an already campy genre, and just sounded like odd plotlines for their own sake. A parody reduced to a sitcom.

A pity, though, because it was a loving parody - clearly, Wright's salary had allowed for a lot of transatlantic holidays, the bulk of which had been spent following All My Children and Passions. In fact, relying on the audience having spent enough time in the US soaking up daytime television in numbers large enough to make what was a very extended joke work illustrated the same problem that DLT's "my farm" monologues did - Radio One's daytime DJs were, by their success and ability to charge a small fortune for personal appearances, doomed to always grow away from their audiences, to never be able to quite relate to the people they were broadcasting to. When they arrived at Eaton Place from the nursery slopes of local radio, new DJs would still dress like, live like, react like their listeners. But with a year or two of success, a recurring slot on Top of the Pops and a few Brentford Nylon ads under their belt, that common touch would be gone and, ultimately, be as impossible to recapture as that first love of Laura's.


50 Cent tries to enter politics

Presumably as part of his ongoing frustration at being bested by Kanye West at every turn, 50 Cent has had his people rustle up some political observations for him.

Cent has appeared to support the Iraq war in the past, popping over to help the troops keep their peckers up. Which makes his sudden conversion to being anti-war a little awkward:

"Me and George Bush were both born on July 6. He has less compassion than a regular human being.

"We are so different. I actually went to Iraq because I went to perform for the soldiers.

"Bush just sends people to war."

50 Cent, of course, is well known for his hatred of pointless violence and his disgust at the suggestion that guns and shooting and killing are cool and.... oh, hang on, he isn't, is he?

But turning to next year's elections, who does 50 Cent fancy?
"I'd like to see Hillary Clinton be president.

"It would be nice to see a woman be the actual president."

The actual president? As opposed to what, exactly? Are there fake lady Presidents we've been missing out on?

Still, you've got to applaud Cent's grasp of the complex political issues facing a Democrat planning a run in 2008 - he's able to identify which one has the skirt. Well done, Fiddy.


No connection

The T in the Park sister festival, Connect - intended as an event aimed at a slightly older audience - has flopped, with bands playing to nearly-empty fields.

Just 11,000 tickets were sold, with organisers choosing to blame bad weather rather than the massive over-supply of festival events on offer, which would make them unlucky rather than foolish.

Amy McDonald, who opened the event, tried to put on a brave face:

"It was a bit weird being on first and being at a new festival. You don't know what to expect but it was good.

"I only played to a couple of hundred but I like small crowds as well."

Because everyone wants to hoof over to the main stage of a festival and discover they could have played to more people if they'd done the snug of their local.


Love offers Winehouse light

As if having adopted the role of Official Spokesperson for Owen Wilson's mental health wasn't enough, Courtney Love has taken on the Amy Winehouse account, too.

Oddly, she doesn't seem to blame Steve Coogan for this one. Or hasn't yet, anyway. Instead - and you'll want to hold the front page here - she reveals that Amy Winehouse does drugs:

“Amy does more drugs than anyone I’ve known.”

“I’ve been with lots of people when they’ve taken coke, including stars like LINDSAY LOHAN and KATE MOSS.

“But I’ve never seen anyone take as much coke as Amy. Even I wasn’t that bad.”

Wasn't that bad? If Courtney proceeds with the re-writing of history this way, she's going to be revealing details of the Home For The Fallen Women she was running while married to Perry Como by the end of the year.

It's not clear what Courtney was hoping this intervention would do.


Mills not quite as evil as she once was

A year or so ago, Heather Mills had everything thrown at her: she was a gold-digging, child-corrupting, Diana-aping, lie-spewing harridan. Now, though, the papers are reduced to reporting minor parking infractions. By next year, it's going to be "Heather Mills double-dips."


Bobby Brown suddenly wants to be Father Of The Year

Thus far, Bobby Brown appears to have spent longer in prison for unpaid child support than he actually has under the same roof as any of his children, so it's something of a surprise to discover he's suddenly seeking custody of Bobbin Kristin Brown, his daughter with Whitney Houston.

And it is sudden - Brown hadn't contested the couple's divorce, which was made final in April. This gave custody to Houston. So why the sudden change of heart?

Apparently, Brown is trying to convince the court he wasn't aware of the divorce proceedings:

Phillips said Brown believed the pair were working on their marriage and that Houston had told him not to worry about the divorce proceedings. She said the two had made an agreement.

"Who is he going to rely on the most?" Phillips said. "The woman he loves. He thinks they're working on their marriage."

Now, it might be that Brown is telling the truth - that he didn't bother about any of the legal notices saying 'you are being divorced by your wife' because she was saying 'don't worry, petal': in which case, he's probably not the sort of person who should be left in charge of a picnic table, never mind a teenage girl. Or he's just lying and that's the best reason he can come up with for not having responded earlier - which is even weaker.

Wonderfully, though, Brown has actually asked for the divorce to be set aside, and then reworked. This leaves the judge the power to simply undivorce the couple, and throw them back into their marriage. That, as my great-grandmother apparently would say, will larn 'em.


Lashes pick up from Winehouse crash

Bookmakers are reporting (okay, "press-releasing" might be more accurate) that support for Amy Winehouse as likely Mercury winner has collapsed as fast as, erm, she has: Bat For Lashes are now pulling ahead as the clear favourite.

Curiously, the trailers for the BBC Four coverage are focusing on the Arctic Monkeys and a 'can they do the double' approach.

It's noticeable, though, that Bat For Lashes' label are currently spending squillions on advertising Fur And Gold in high-profile slots at the moment. And that's probably not aimed at the back-to-school market.


Friday, August 31, 2007

Supergrass sleepwalk to disaster

In what BBC News undersate as a "freak accident", Mick Quinn out of Supergrass has sleepwalked his way out of a first-floor window and broken his back.

As a result, Supergrass have suspended all their dates until he's better - he is supposed to make a full recovery. The BBC have also had to ort through their photo library and - discovering no pictures of Quinn - put a brave face, and twisty caption - on the next best thing:

Danny and Gaz from Supergrass wished Quinn a speedy recovery


[Thanks to Duncan G for the link]


Thank you for your help, Bez

As if the intervention of MSN to Pete Doherty's health isn't enough assistance for one man to cope with, Bez has decided to offer the benefit of his wisdom to both Doherty and Amy Winehouse:

"Pete Doherty is talked about all the time but he's a fucking lightweight. He spends more time in rehab than he does taking drugs for fuck's sake.

"Winehouse is the same, she's got a lot to prove. There are too many part-time rock n' rollers these days. They should get out and have a good time. I've not spent a minute in rehab in 25 years and I'm alright."

True, assuming your definition of "alright" can encompass having a life based around being thought of as the sort of person who needs his mittens on string and probably shouldn't be allowed his own scissors.

As in the joke:
What's Bez's name short for?
To give him a half-decent chance of remebering how to spell it, probably.


Scion's friction

Son-of-Mick James Jagger insists he's not a model. Ooh, it makes him mad when people do that:

"I did one modelling job and got written off as a model forever.

"It was one job which paid a bit of money - I bought a car and was done with it. I really despised it and have regretted it ever since."

Yes, James, it must suck. You do a proper paid day's work for once in your life, and nobody will let you forget it. How cruel we are to the offspring of our titled classes.